Bukhartsev in the days of immemorial audiobook. Unforgettable days. Time immemorial. Introduce good times, bad times let circumstances change, but not your values. "time immemorial" in books

IRONIC TALE IN VERSES AND FACES
for reading and acting

Characters:
The narrator
Tsar
Frog
Princess (she is a frog)
Ivan (youngest son)
Eldest son
Middle son
Elder daughter-in-law
Average daughter-in-law
Old woman
Vampire
and many others...

The narrator:

“There are many different fairy tales -
All can not be remembered and not counted;
The world is like in a magic mirror,
All is reflected in them.

Many scary and funny
Youthful and gray-haired;
I'm now, scourging rhymes,
I'll tell you one of them ...

In days immemorial -
They are hidden by time -
Lived and ruled a king-lord
Surrounded by relatives.

And this king, -
He wasted no time, -
There were three legitimate sons
Not to mention the others.

The first two are the ones in the father
And from the back of the head and from the face -
Like someone Pinocchio
I didn't finish it to the end.

The third was just a fool.
And the people thought like this:
Apparently the king in his work
Allowed some kind of marriage.

One morning or lunch
The king woke up to everyone's harm
And I decided to start a dirty trick
But don't make a lot of trouble.

Got out of bed, walked around
Watered Tradescantia
And a straight gyrus
I twisted it into a spiral in my head.

I thought for a long time: how to be here
And where to direct the agility?
And thought up the first thing
Marry your sons!

He calls all three to him -
Full of enemy worries -
And, naively smiling,
This is the conversation. " -

“Love your eye and soul!
Top models! Well - in general!
There is nowhere even to put samples -
Like Faberge eggs!

I thought, appreciated
I posed and decided:
I will marry you kids to
Shoot down your stupid, youthful ardor!

Well, the pupils came out so -
Will not fit in glasses?
Stop taking over the female sex
Illegal glasses!

Show your class better
You are in your family! At least once!
You are direct heirs!
I hope, damn it, on you!

In general - do not curl your face,
Marriage will brush your agility!
And moments of freedom
You will learn to appreciate! "

Eldest son:

“Listen, dad, me myself
So tired of these ladies
That I'll get married at least tomorrow
Even today - I'll give up the tooth. "

Middle son:

“Yes, and I am with all my heart!
Century do not eat broth with noodles!
Well I've been saying for three years
What is great for diapers! "

“Well, what about me ?! And I - like everyone else!
Dad! You are all in your glory!
Arguing with you - to shut up trying
A cloud with a finger in a thunderstorm! "

“There are no fools in the family!
And I will say without further ado:
I will give you for your wedding ...!
I don't even know what !!! "

Eldest son:

“The last Mercedes is for me!
So that I get into it -
And then between the boys
I would have had a solid weight!

And also! ... "

“Shut up, son!
You are, you see, not alone here!
Maybe give you a gift
My foreign exchange shop? "

Middle son:

“If you can, I will have a hookah!
From the eastern countries only.
These local products -
Mocking deception.

It is impossible to smoke them:
They only start to stink!
Expected buzz
Impossible to receive. "

“Calm down, boy plan!
I will give you a hookah!
(Nature has rested!)
What do you want, Ivan? "

“A mobile phone for me!
So that the signal was Mouzon
"Hands up"! Or Serduchka!
Well, better - so that Kobzon! "

"So I will tell you, daredevils,
Overgrown youths!
We need to take you, fat-faced,
Very urgently under the bridle!

Everyone is only about themselves!
Hymn to the rolled lip!
Like the navels of the Earth! More precisely…
Those ... navel piercings!

Therefore, sons, we take
On an arrow with a dashing feather
And a hunting bow!
And why - I'll tell you later! "

The narrator:

“Everyone goes out onto the porch;
And everyone has a face
Hopeless and sad
Like a broken egg.

Only the king is alone and glad
He does not take his eyes off his sons,
The speeches are sweet, as if
I just ate marmalade. "

"I am still alive
And funny on fiction:
I will explain the dating process
With this ... with my future wife! ...

... Everyone will come to the hillock -
There is a clearer overview -
And shoots with his arrow,
Let him fly to someone's yard.

Where is the arrow who will fall -
There the bride is waiting for him:
Boldly rise to the tower -
This is not a scaffold for you!

It's not like a beast in the mouth
And not in the hole in the abyss.
But shoot carefully
So as not to hit the bride! "

The narrator:

“Three arrows flew;
And obediently, like goats,
Brothers, without wasting time,
They followed the arrows.

The elder did not search for a long time
And did not caress illusions,
Disturbed body
I didn’t carry around.

I went to the boyar yard
And immediately he found the arrow:
After all, he thought out his goal
Before bowing ...

... The boyar's daughter was
Immense and white;
Although I smoked desperately,
But I hardly drank.

Didn't suffer from diets
And, health is not harmful,
Overshadowed by dimensions
Your own nutty sideboard.

Although the prince was a gourmet
And traveled to many countries
But I froze in a ridiculous position,
How the camp saw her.

All insides played -
Already an arrow broke a feather:
Well, where to compete with such
Is there any Monroe there?

And the boyar is right there,
From hopes - salute snot!
Hugs everything he can,
Like an octopus that has not eaten for a long time.

The eldest son did not become impudent
And hugged the boyar,
Transforming his wealth
In their joint capital "...

Middle son:

“At this hour, I, the middle son,
Having drunk a shot to start,
I walked to the merchant's house,
Howling songs of the group "Queen".

Before that I went into a rage,
What's on this soil already
I remembered with great difficulty
Why went on a voyage.

At the merchant gates
Finally I closed my mouth:
After all, I shot an arrow here -
Not to go anywhere to the people!

The merchant's daughter was thin
Like the Kuril ridge;
Her body looks
The year the food ran out.

I saw her at once
Laid a tired eye
For that body that wanted
Like a hardened womanizer.

And she frowns an eyebrow, -
The blood boils up in my veins;
In general, they silently agreed
For mutual love. "

The narrator:

“And the merchant is most glad of all,
Everything hiccups out of place
He wipes everything with a handkerchief
Its beefy facade.

The conversation was short,
And the merchant, without wasting energy,
Bored in girls
I sold my daughter to my delight ...

... The third son Ivan the fool
I got into a mess at this hour:
Climbed into the swamp knee-deep
And it will not come out in any way!

He shot his arrow
With all my heart, I had the strength:
I tried so hard that twice
I almost bit my tongue.

For a long time he was looking for an arrow
Among the fields, among the rocks;
In between,
Silently, letting go of a tear.

And he went into a dense forest,
And climbed into such a wilderness,
That I almost remembered from fear
Forgotten enuresis.

Only frightened him
He suddenly went out to the swamp;
As I saw my arrow -
I almost jumped out of my trousers.

Ivan only took a step,
The legs were immediately entangled in the silt;
He twitched and jumped,
Even the leaking stuff.

I got angry ... Suddenly he looks:
He sits with an arrow
Pop-eyed frog
And drills it with a pupil.

All green, in the grass,
On the back of the neck there are two
And the crown is golden
On a bald head.

Poor Vanya was stunned,
So he sat down in the swamp,
But without seeing the crime,
Immediately, I somehow grew bolder. "

“Hey green, bring back
An arrow for me. And drive away
From me nasty drinks -
After all, they bite!

There is no reason for me to stand here
And the soul to bear the damage;
I need to look for a bride:
It's the season for brides now! "

The narrator:

"And the frog is not silent
And without any offense,
At least lisping a little,
But he speaks clearly. " -

Frog:

"Vanya, you are my betrothed,
Wash your eyes -
After all, the arrow found me -
It means that we will be with you forever.

Wrap me in a scarf
And take off your nervous shock:
And climb out of the swamp -
I'm already wet up to my panties!

I will become your wife
Mischievous and groovy;
Nothing that i have
The disadvantage is small. "

“You, of course, took everyone -
And funny and sweet! ...
But I forgot that recently
She was a tadpole!

I do not understand at all
(Maybe I'm thinking the wrong one?):
How do you see in perspective
Our cloudless tandem?

If I were the same
Then, of course, I wouldn’t have buzzed
And long ago into your swamp
Definitely frequent!

But you finally understand:
Father won't let me
So that with all honest people -
Down the aisle with an amphibian! "

Frog:

“You are naive, like Mumu ...
I to you, as to yours,
I will reveal a terrible secret,
To cleanse the mind.

Well, you will decide for yourself
And you will not twist your soul,
What to have - such a wife
Or, say, a naked shish!

... Believe it or not:
Was born into the world
I'm a princess. Honestly, -
Then there is no more beautiful in the world!

Don't be foul, I'm not always
The mud was driving by the pond;
Just to us Koschey the Immortal
Suddenly appeared like a disaster.

I liked him -
Here I will understand it too:
Shameless began to try on
To my body.

I am his soulful ardor
Has cooled, it has cooled,
Turned me into a frog
And planted in the swamp.

But soon the term will pass,
The spell will come down
And frog clothes
Undoubtedly will be lost.

Until then, my beloved,
Wash me a little
Wrap it in a white handkerchief
And bring it to your home. "

The narrator:

“And at that hour the king-father
I was waiting for my sons in the palace:
I ordered to find in the closet
Even a ring measure.

Sat on a bench by the porch
With the look of a formidable father,
Tried to make it smart
Facial expression.

For some reason I could not,
Though he tried and groaned.
Lo and behold - they are already coming from the "hunt"
Sons to their native destiny.

The first two - with their own:
Their booty is all with them;
And they fit into the wake
The youngest of the three.

Booty regal threshold
Poelozit. March
Made to meet the sons
And he uttered such a speech. " -

Tsar:
“I examined all the brides ...
To put a zero or a cross?
(To Ivan) Well, this, I understand,
Your sons protest me ?! "

The narrator:

"I took Vanya aside,
Such a monologue led,
To calm your son,
And it didn't work out like a joke. " -

"You, Ivan, of course, grip,
I am glad to see you and the bride;
Do not be sad, son, that
Shot foolishly at random.

Look at these:
Though mine and three with soap -
Until yours, like deep darkness,
Until dawn for them!

That's who has something to hide!
(And where was the mother looking!)
Generally, how are these faces
Can we call them faces ?!

And take the figure of each:
Not a daughter-in-law - this is a son-in-law!
For tournaments "Mrs. World"
We will not send them!

And yours - let it be green!
(Maybe she is young?)
Maybe in childhood what was ill?
Is that her fault?

Son, it's not Nazism here.
And throw away your racism -
Maybe there, in her swamp,
Was there some kind of cataclysm ?! "

The narrator:

“Here Ivan told everything:
That which the princess took into the house,
Like her Koschey, an infection,
Psykhanuv, bewitched.

The king gave the mind
And I decided that the point is
What about the factory marriage of the arrow,
And the sons have nothing to do with it.

The king pointed a monocle at everyone,
No changes found
And hunters with prey
I wanted to invite to the table.

But I thought: “Wait,
The girls are young, go ?!
Before, weddings might give up
At least watch with all your eyes.

We must at least paint them,
Slap the stamp in the passport;
After all, then, that it was,
It will be difficult to prove. "

Tsar:
“Brothers, I am an intellectual;
At this critical moment
It's hard to keep track of you
It will be for me - after all, I'm not a cop.

Let's decide in this way:
We will go to the court registry office,
Where is the kinship right
Let's find each other.

This relationship
Will not let anyone fall
Before all honest people
Nice muzzle in the mud! "

The narrator:

“Such words are pouring out,
The king bowed like italics,
And rushed to the registry office rather:
There is a break from two to three.

Everything is behind him. And an hour later
(God forbid - not the last time)
Legalized families
The registry office vomited out of himself.

The whole crowd went to the table.
Even Vanya walked away! -
Although all government agencies
He brought me to colic.

... At the table, slightly yielding
And from this tired,
The king began very noticeably
Show your bad temper.

Loudly, reluctantly, hiccuping,
Dipping my sleeve into the caviar,
He gave birth to a tirade,
In it, bending such a plot. " -

“I am both king and god for you, -
I could have all - in a ram's horn,
And I endure this whole thing,
Like a simple Indian yogi!

In general, at first glance,
Though, of course, I'm glad! ...
The view of my chosen sons
Pulls in a minor key ...

Weddings soon, and then
We will live in one herd, -
We were given each one
It's like a bag with a cat.

To find out who breathes what! ...
As with hands and with everything,
I'm a competition for my daughters-in-law
I declare no problem.

The one who can win
I will leave here with my husband;
The rest - to the deaf village
For the country to milk the cows!

It is a pity for all to bitter tears;
But inhale like the scent of roses
To losers what it smells like
Top-notch dung!

And I want to warn you:
Everyone cannot win;
As one Dane put it:
Here, "To be or not to be!"

... Tomorrow each, by morning -
I'll just rub my zenki -
Stuffed fish
Let him bring it to the court.

This is the first tour for you;
And I will say without further ado:
Fish in this performance -
Like a stepping stone to Parnassus. "

The narrator:

“The king finished his speech,
I offered to slightly flow around
From her to her daughters-in-law
And he went to lie down with him.

In an instant, the daughters-in-law left for agility:
They do not want to cook -
"Gefilte fish!" -
It's even hard to speak! "

Average daughter-in-law:

“Well, daddy has done it ...
Well done! (So ​​that he lived like this! ...)
Interesting: he came up with
Or who knocked him out?

How to cook this food
So that I still have time in the morning?
As for me, then, definitely,
It's easier to sing in a tenor voice! "

Elder daughter-in-law:

“I have one thought,
Can she help us:
After all, the cookbook
It was given to me as a dowry.

There are countless recipes in it,
There are such things -
You won't even want to see
This rubbish is not what it is! "

The narrator:

“The eldest son froze,
Even sweat broke through him:
He is to such a dowry
Not ready, as you can see, was.

But, having realized, I thought here:
Good is not expected from good;
Maybe for those (what a book!)
And they won't give you a brochure.

The time was approaching night:
Two daughters-in-law by the stove
Fussing ... The smell is like
Cabbage soup is made from footcloths.

The smoke swirls like fog:
Everyone's sick! Dope in the brain! ...
Therefore, they decided
That there is a flaw in the recipe.

... At this time, the youngest son,
Taking analgin,
I explained to my frog wife,
Why is the first pancake dangerous?

Ivan was already ready,
To leave home
And without any competition -
For the country to milk the cows.

But, as you can see, the wife
Plans were born
Slightly different: without dashing
Patronage for the country ”.

Frog:

"Vanya, do not poison the soul
(And take the pate off your eyebrow!)
Those who love us frogs
So they would say: "Ce la vie!"

Perhaps you should go to sleep.
To calm your melancholy,
So be it - for the coming dream
You can take vodka.

I'll sit for a while
I'll load my brain with a problem ...
That something needs to be done
Even a hedgehog is clear! "

The narrator:

"Vanya sucked a glass
And, after a minute, he slept:
The beauty of the wedding night
Loud snoring confirmed.

And the frog at this moment,
Suddenly issuing a guttural cry,
She shed her skin, instantly
Changing your camp and face.

And suddenly I appeared like this
That at the moment any man
Would have lost the clarity of speech:
Not a frog, but a Playboy!

Virgin of wondrous beauty!
The standard of men's dreams!
Vanya would be very surprised
That he was on "you" with her.

... Lips are like petals ...
Eyebrows like spikelets ...
To top the picture -
Generally blows the nipples.

Having returned to its normal form,
Appreciating how my husband snores,
The princess put on an apron
(This is a kitchen outfit) ".

Frog:

“And, of course, immediately I
I decided that I should
How to cook this fish
Know relatives in Israel.

Looked for the country code
I got through to relatives ...
Gave a fax response with a prescription -
With price indication!

From read first
Though my head was spinning
But at the apron I immediately
Roll up your sleeves!

Found in the fridge -
All that was needed;
So that your hands do not tremble
Valerian accepted.

For myself, I said "fas"
And, after a prescription hour,
Gefilte fish
I squinted my eye from the table. "

The narrator:

“And the princess, slightly yawning,
I went to sleep, having put on shoes
Gutta-percha skin
And fastening on a snake!

In the morning the king woke up and got up.
I took a rope. He galloped.
And with both hands
He scratched his back noisily.

I yawned and remembered here,
That his daughters-in-law are waiting -
Show where the hands are from
And why grow at all!

Quickly pulled on jeans
Splashed water on my face,
Remembering the past feast,
Quietly, reluctantly, he hiccupped.

I drained a mug of kvass,
I scented two armpits,
All four hairs
Stylishly with a hairdryer.

He did not take the crown,
I just sighed and into the throne room
Usurping gait
He walked impudently ...

... Well, in the hall at this hour
Flaunted
Culinary arts
Stuffed full face!

... All three young couples
Stretched out to the string in an instant,
Like fighters at the Mausoleum -
Only the king looked at them! "

“I look: it pours from you
First wedding night sweat ...
Maybe they tried to beat
Are you some kind of record ?!

There is no doubt about the sons:
I see a holiday in their eyes;
They even put on butterflies
It's a pity only without shirts!

There the daughter-in-law - no problem, -
Like an overclocked harem:
Two in rumpled peignoirs
The third is completely naked!

What's the rush? What a boom?
Your sight simply dries the mind! ...
I may have too
Not a cardin suit ...

Well, okay ... I see
Waiting for me -
(How to say so as not to offend?) -
Newlywed concoction!

Come out one at a time
Can be a couple - I will accept everyone!
But don't relax too much -
Not on vacation in Crimea! "

The narrator:

“The eldest son came out first, -
Boldly, though not alone:
At the thigh of a spouse with a dish,
And on it - some kind of pancake!

Next is the middle son with his wife:
The dish is hidden behind the back -
Damn it is almost the same
Only the color is slightly different. "

“There is something fishy in this ...
I could eat it ...
But I'm afraid suicide
Will stain my honor! "

The narrator:

“Suddenly Ivan stepped forward!
Putting my wife in my pocket
I appeared before my father with a tray,
Curving like a hookah.

And wonderfully all the relatives,
And in the face of the father - to the country
Presented such a charm -
You will not see it in a dream!

The overlord was so stunned -
That is, the king - what a slight lurch
Suddenly gave a false jaw
And dropped to her knees.

But he is the king for that and is -
Will not drop pride-honor:
I got up from the throne, adjusted my jaw,
To have something to eat.

I looked at my daughters-in-law,
I smelled everything, ate something,
And on the throne with a frivolous backside,
Tired, I sat down again. "

“I will not torment you,
In general - what to say! -
The younger daughter-in-law succeeded,
Oddly enough, to win.

Maybe it's a gift from God
Maybe cooking fumes
Maybe in the family sometime
Was there a famous chef ?!

The rest - with their warmth
(And we won't go to the fortuneteller!)
The long road breathes
Where at the end is the state house!

Don't go into a trance right away
It was just an advance:
You have, though the last one,
Sick though, but still a chance:

I announce the second tour ...
My long-standing hemorrhoids
So, viper, and pushes
Learn what a trick.

I am not listening to him
And wiser from that
I again came up with a task for you -
And the task is as follows:

Let my daughters-in-law by morning
(God forbid - I won't die overnight!)
They will knit hats for the winter
So that I do not freeze in the wind.

From the crown in the cold
Less use than harm:
It freezes to my head
It's like it's forever.

Impossible to tear off!
To somehow remove it,
Need a head by the stove
Warm up for half an hour.

And then my elder page
Pleshi is doing a massage;
During the winter period -
Year for two working experience!

Well, and a hat in winter
Warming my store of thoughts,
Discomfort and inconvenience
Will exclude by itself.

And think seriously
Aesthetic question,
So that thieves hat salons
Wipe your snotty nose! "

The narrator:

“After these kind words
The king spat between his teeth,
Scratched appendicitis
A beloved seam.

From the throne of tears, hiccupped slightly,
Jeans pulled up higher
And into your bedchamber
I turned both skis. "

Average daughter-in-law:

“Well this is uniform sadism,
Dressed in revanchism!
He is in a healthy team -
Like some kind of atavism!

What is this - a man's revenge ?!
Crap! There are limits to everything!
How can you be so impudent
To climb on the rampage of the people ?!

Painfully brave I'll take a look!
I'll tell him in the eyes:
I am his candidacy
I will not support you anywhere! "

Elder daughter-in-law:

"You yourself at least understood
What did you say? ... "

Average daughter-in-law:

“... The root of evil!
Terrorist! A splinter in your finger!
Not! Generally! What the heck?!"

Elder daughter-in-law:

“What are you all letting off steam,
Like a forgotten samovar?
You need a father-in-law, like the Fatherland,
Accept as a gift from God.

The most important thing for us now is
Calm his whim! ... "

Average daughter-in-law:

“... And in the future we'll figure it out -
Who is who and who - who!

I, for example, how to knit -
Easier to lick your elbow
Or the pose of the "Kamasutra"
Show without a partner! "

Elder daughter-in-law:

“But in my dowry
There is one more book -
Knitting Guide
It is called.

It will be easy to find in it
How do we weave hats, -
And formality will remain:
Combine knitting needles with threads. "

The narrator:

“I didn’t like it at all
The essence of the idea of ​​book schemes
For older brothers: past tour
Not pleased with anything.

But, looking at their wives,
To hardly believe in them,
The brothers realized what would happen
Everything is worse without books.

Evening approached night:
Two daughters-in-law for the final
Craftsmanship of cool knitters
Clothed in material.

Everything in threads is like spiders!
And in the eyes - the season of longing;
They, like all other things,
This is not a matter of hand.

Gently knitting needles
And each other and ourselves,
The conversation was conducted, with "love"
Remembering the Tsar. "

Average daughter-in-law:

"This king! .. He would be me ..."

Elder daughter-in-law:

"For us! ... In the forest pitch darkness
To meet - then they would attack ... "

Average daughter-in-law:

"... And a club on the bald!"

Elder daughter-in-law:

"And then, then him ..."

Average daughter-in-law:

"... Bare ass in the hollow
To the wild bees! The most harmful
And biting! ... "

Elder daughter-in-law:

“... What is it !!! ...

I just imagined
I'm like that, in a hollow -
And the work got better!
And calm your soul! "

The narrator:

"Vanya was sleeping at this time
And in a dream let him saliva -
After all, in the frog's ingenuity
He's already confident!

Last tour to his own child
Convinced him of one thing:
Than he sleeps better at night,
The calmer the day will be ...

... His wife is sitting on the table:
Compared she
With its normal color
Even more green.

Cheeks are like bubbles
(By volume - three liters);
All in thought, like a lamb
In the fairy tale of Saint-Exupery.

She - the frog - has no time for sleep ... "

Frog:

“Why should I decide
I'm family problems
How are all women one ?!

How to approach the task,
To please the father-in-law,
And myself by the very process
Don't overdo it too much? "

The narrator:

“I immediately remembered my relatives,
And calling the pager,
The frog has loaded again
All their problem of the day. "

Frog:

“And literally an hour later
Fax to me - under the order -
Have sent what you need.
(Not "Paris", but also "class"!
Appreciating the transfer,
Without tempting my husband again,
I went to sleep, stylish bangs
Twisting with curlers ".

The narrator:

“... The sun hit the window,
And then - one more thing -
Perceptible and soundless
As an actor in a silent movie.

The king was already on his feet
And conscientiously - not for fear -
I prepared a speech so that in an impromptu
Don't look for a piano in the bushes.

He slept beautifully at night,
Maybe I would even fall into childhood,
But laugh at the monarch
The bladder did not become.

The king got dressed, smoked,
Fuzz shaved over the lip
And on the topic of daughters-in-law
Alone he joked.

Having scared the muse by this,
He kicked the door with his foot,
I sent a body to the throne room,
Roll your lips into a tube.

In the throne room - noise and din
(To put it simply - bedlam!)
Undoubtedly into this scene
Shakespeare William contributed something.

Royal gaze in one moment
This funny Disneyland
Calmed down to deliver
The focus is on the assignment. "

“What a holiday, youth ?!
Jokes, laughter? ... (Violent louse!)
You are not that a task -
You can't break it with a crowbar!

I'll have fun now, too!
Don't look at me
Like a fakir's pipe
An evil snake is watching!

Well I gave you a task -
I never heard it easier!
I am generally by conviction
The most leftist liberal.

Well show me
Both outside and outside -
Than I will warm the brain in winter
In a frostbitten country! "

The narrator:

“The wives of the eldest sons,
The father-in-law was to know better
They went out on their own in these hats,
Stretching them up to the eyebrows.

Vanya did not risk it,
He gave the hat to his father himself.
(He's her to his frog
I didn't even try it on).

King of daughters-in-law skill
Translated into their nature
And honor after honor answered,
Regardless of kinship. " -

“What I want to tell you:
Lubo me, ... well, that is - to us;
Although the elders have their products
Very similar to the wigwam!

Look: at least that -
Informal dream:
Attach bells to it -
Jester's headdress!

Well, and this, orphan,
Removed from the homeless by force
And painted for a laugh
In parrot colors ?!

But I won't be too strict ...
Though, of course, I could
Who is above the royal person
Mocks - to prison!

Only the youngest could
To please ... Looks like it's gone
There she is - in her swamp
Cutting and sewing courses!

Okay ... what can I say,
To drive a sickle through the water -
Finally, I declare:
The day after tomorrow there will be a feast!

Everyone to come to the banquet,
Observing etiquette! -
So I don't worry
And he did not do unnecessary troubles.

There will be darkness invited
There are very worthy
There is a writer - he is like a classic,
Writes something from the mind.

There is a poet (the Ministry of Culture sent).
Well, the great original:
He read poetry the other day -
I even got into the rhyme!

Two artists will come
If they can and will reach -
Their day is almost lost,
If they don't drink on this day.

There will be a fashionable accordion player -
Long, thin, like a worm;
He will play the accordion
We need a lambada or a twist.

There will be princes and kings
There are three Maharajas -
Everyone, tired of the sun,
Similar to French fries.

In general - you can't count all of them;
Everyone can give out flattery
And for this something to drink,
And eat something for that! "

The narrator:

"The royal feast gathered the people
At the palace gates!
Who came without an invitation -
From those gates turn!

Tables are breaking in the hall
All the floors under the rugs
The servants turn around as if
Somewhere handles from the whirligig.

The invitees make a noise
Ringing jewelry
Everyone, as if in sight, for food
Looks through the monocle.

And who is not here only!
Criminal high society
Gathered in the royal palace
To an exquisite banquet!

The servants wait nervously.
Well, and the king is right there -
Insolent, self-confident,
Like a festive fireworks!

Sons follow him,
Like the Gulf Stream;
And the wives from the tension
The makeup cracked with the shell.

The youngest son walks alone.
He decided he wouldn't understand
And the terrarium choice
Will not be appreciated by the whole people.

The king slammed in his palms - in an instant
The feast has found and become, and the face! ... "

“Even I mumbled like a pig,
At least once graduated from VGIK! "

The narrator:

“Loud grinding of jaws,
And under them are the crackling of bones
Confirmed unequivocally
Insatiable start of the guests.

... The feast went on for a long time,
I go boldly from the tables,
The sun, banging its forehead on the mountain,
It went to sleep for her ...

Suddenly, as in a fairy tale, I entered the door
Virgin wondrous! ... Found
With an emerald look, Vanya
And, embarrassed, she approached.

Vanya immediately recognized
There is a frog in it. Got up quickly
And, blushing with excitement,
He gave her a glass of wine. "

“Here are the ones! Blimey!
Life is playing as always!
What awaits us in a minute
You will never know!

I want to say a toast!
It is not difficult, but not simple:
I want between us
There was always a family bridge!

And I will add, as I can,
(Put me a stew!)
Since there will be no love for me -
Damn this bridge I'll burn!

Let's go! Forward!"

Elder daughter-in-law:

"Dad, eat a sandwich!"

Average daughter-in-law:

"Put you a vinaigrette
Or maybe an entrecote ?! "

The narrator:

"And the princess, having sipped a little
And the remains of plums into the sleeve,
Smiled, a bird's leg
Putting it in the other sleeve in a moment.

Immediately fashionable accordion player
A twist sounded on the accordion.
(He is in places not distant
Passed as Franz Liszt).

And the princess - well dance,
Knit legs with a pretzel;
And he does this -
It's even hard to describe!

How she waved her sleeve -
Just a lake with wine!
She waved another sleeve -
Broiler geese on it!

Elder sons' wives
They choke on their anger
So that the muscles are reduced
From knees to eyebrows.

Bones folded into sleeves
Watering them with wine on top,
Two daughters-in-law instantly created
Dance collective!

Soon the appearance of the guests
Consisted of two parts:
From a set of wine stains
And bone mosaics.

The king also suffered a little.
But he, having penetrated the essence of dancing,
I was able to group quickly
And he managed to dive under the table.

... And Ivan, on the sly -
Imperceptibly - beyond the threshold
And into your bedchamber
I ran faster than I could.

Although the princess went after,
But when I found him
That frog clothes
I was already a heap of ash. "

Princess:

“Vanya, what have you done?
Why did you burn your skin?
You, without even touching your wife,
He made himself a widow!

And now, Ivan, goodbye!
Do not twist, but miss!
In the wall calendar
Celebrate the days of separation!

If you leave with sadness,
Or melancholy gnaws like a louse,
Then go to Koschei's kingdom:
There, dear, you will find me!

I'll honestly wait
To pacify Koshchei's ardor;
Your honor, as far as possible,
I will try to defend.

Just don't go for a long time
And don't harass me:
Me too, by the way,
Not iron, go. "

The narrator:

"And the princesses flexible camp
Suddenly melted like fog:
With magic of this class
Copperfield is near - a kid!

And Ivan without further ado
Pulled up the belt of my pants
Took two euros from the stash
And he left his home.

... How long did he walk or not
(This is just his secret)
But he went into the dense forest,
Where the earth does not see the light ...

... foreheads are scratching each other
Grungy oaks
Cling to your feet with a cat's caress
Poisonous mushrooms.

An owl hooted somewhere
Forgetting, you see, the words:
Huddled under a dry stump -
And from fear a little alive.

Somewhere someone screamed
He paused for a half-shout:
Either the voice trains
Either he just went wild ...

Vanya didn't wait any longer,
I no longer caressed my hearing
And a zigzag path
I found it under my feet.

He walked along it for a day or two,
Infringed rights
Clothed along the way
In bad words.

And by morning on the third day
Hunger as vile as a migraine,
I began to draw before my eyes
That sausage, then a dumpling.

Vanya realized that already
Your stomach in negligee
It will be harder to keep
Than the Madonna in the burqa.

He wanted to be sad
And pour a few tears:
For some reason, oddly enough,
I really wanted to live.

Suddenly, like in a fairy tale, a dark forest
Before Baneus disappeared;
Lo and behold - a clearing and a dwelling,
As if from Wonderland!

Vanya just opened his mouth,
Even sweat broke through him:
The type of housing evokes a thought,
That someone has sinned here!

He cannot understand again
But he realized, frowning:
"Apparently, a chicken with a hut
Agree to love! "

“Hey, unprecedented hybrid!
(God forgive this debauchery!)
Shake the legs
Show me a full-face view! "

The narrator:

"And the hut, pokryakhtev
And puffed like a trumpet,
Spun around, curtsy
Sitting down in front of Benaiah.

The door opened and suddenly
A nose appeared like a hook
And behind him is the face of an old woman,
As a masterpiece of drunk hands:

Yellow teeth sticking out
Under the eyebrows - a predatory look;
Well, and the ears! - as if someone
Stick them at random!

Ivan has sweat like hail,
On the face - a fallen garden;
Like a Singer machine
Teeth chattering "merrily".

Old woman:

“What have you forgotten here, dear,
In this land without roads?
That you tremble, dear, as if
Have you been electrified?

Come to me soon:
On your feet - not on horseback!
Tell me how it's free
And, in general, how is it in the country? "

The narrator:

"Vanya with a trembling body,
Striking the groin on the porch,
I entered the door after the old woman
On shaking legs.

And in the hut - and squealing, and laughter,
Bacchanalia for all,
There are such faces at the table
What to imagine even a sin! "

Old woman:

“Hey Vampire! Give me a chair!
You see - the guest is tired as a mule!
He, I know, is not in vain
We looked at the resort.

Hey, give him the device
Where is the pattern with flowers!
Look, Ivan, at the forks:
Antique cupronickel!

Take your time, eat and drink
And my company
Suggest a print review
With a block of fresh news.

Who conducts the experiment
Over the country at this moment?
Who sits on the throne now:
Tsar, general secretary or president? "

“You are an interesting people!
Why does it bake you so
Who juggles the country?
The main thing is that the process is underway!

Better, grandma, help!
Lack of a leg
And in your appearance, I see
From the Yagi dynasty.

How to defeat Koschei,
To free my wife
And the bastard before death
To fill your face from the heart? "

Old woman:

“You, my dear, calm down your ardor:
Koshchei has enough strength
Paint your ass
So that you are no longer naughty!

It's like a toothless mouth
Bite the scrap iron ...
As one politician put it:
"We'll go the other way!"

Koschey doesn't like me myself:
Ill-mannered, arrogant and rude;
I have grown up a long time ago
There is a huge tooth on him ...

There are distant lands
Either fir or spruce:
There is a needle on the top of the head -
That needle is our target.

If you get that needle
And slightly break -
The walking skeleton will die at once,
You don't even have to beat!

For the idea, Vanya, to me
You will work twice;
You know: in our time
Know-how is all in the price.

There is such a moment, dear:
I have one vice -
I would give myself to everyone
Who would not even be able to!

I will tell you, Ivan:
I'm so shivering from sex
As if I had completely undressed
And I lie on the bare ice.

Well, draw the conclusion yourself,
How to get along with us:
You can't help without me
Neither Hottabych nor Sesame. "

“I got your subtle hint,
Another lesson for me:
Selflessness for a man
Women are crushed like a vice!

I suggest everything later
We'll decide with you okay,
You know: if the money is in the morning,
So the chairs are in the evening.

And in general - why hide
(And it's time for you to know!):
There's no point in getting turned on
Once you have to cool down! "

The narrator:

"A compromise has been reached,
And everyone gathered in the morning
To the doomed Koschei
To a lethal benefit performance.

From the hut with the whole crowd
The guests rushed into battle:
Ahead like a compass, grandma
Marks the way with his stick.

Next - Vanya, and behind him -
Leshy paired with Water,
Two twin kikimora
And a Vampire with a funny face.

They walked for a long time, swallowing sweat;
And the Vampire, disturbing the mouth,
Cursed this one softly
Tourist hike ".

“... If I only knew! ...
How bad I am! ... I'm tired! ...
Vanya on this trip
I got it to the appendix! ...

Well, I'm used to the old woman:
She has a quirk in life! "

Old woman:

"What are you there, Vampire, all whining
And trudging along like an old man? "

“What am I whining ?! I am thirsty,
I'm sharpening my teeth on Ivan:
Of course you can't get drunk on them,
But at least I'll get my throat wet! "

Old woman:

"Stop boozing, Vampire!"

“How to wet your throat?
What - I choke on water!
Better not to live at all! "

Old woman:

“How harmful and arrogant you are!
Here is your life motive:
Like a malevolent creature
To dirty a clean team!

The narrator:

Everyone is tired. Suddenly they look:
Before them is a black garden,
And behind him is Koshchei's palace,
A gray haze is enveloped.

And to the right - on the mountain,
All in needles and bark
The spruce stands pierced with its tip
Clouds of thick mashed potatoes!

Everyone was delighted here!
Everyone is shaking hands with each other!
Even the Leshy, unable to restrain himself,
Shouted: "Koschey kaput!"

Old woman:

"Hey Vampire, come here -
A clot of laziness and harm;
Run down your throat with a tooth
Do you dream like you always do?

This hobby is just a shame!
I put it on your face:
Or caries will torture you,
Or you'll catch AIDS!

Better help Vanya,
And Koshchey annoy,
And with teeth, like a hacksaw,
Spruce was piled on the ground. "

The narrator:

"And the Vampire, bared his mouth,
Jaw pushed forward,
Spruce dumped in one minute,
Surprising the forest people.

... At the top, like an arrow,
The black needle slumbers ...
Took off - and to Ivan,
As a present, it fell into the palm of my hand ...

Suddenly there was a terrible cry,
And then - an animal roar:
Yes, such that the old woman
The wig was blown off my head!

The door of the palace swung open
And Koshchei the scoundrel
Everybody saw running
In a helmet shaped like a cucumber!

From the tremors of the earth
Everyone fell down like coolies.
The waterman got scared
So that the waters have receded. "

Old woman:

"If he gets here,
This is unlikely to make you laugh ...
In his psychiatric dispensary
Even the card is lying.

Don't tease the geese, Ivan,
Complete our plan soon
Because I feel it will
There is a big flaw among us. "

The narrator:

"Vanya did not wait any longer
And I broke the needle easily,
Having made the long-desired
The long-awaited ritual.

And in a second the same suddenly
Skis Koschey, completely extinguished,
As in the moment burnt out
Hot iron.

He sat down on the ground and sighed
Unobtrusively sneezed
And in powerless anger with a gaze
He pierced everyone like a pitchfork.

The turn was so embarrassing
All who administered this judgment:
Why didn't Koschey die?
Or did you not decide everyone?

Who will answer: wait for what?
Maybe finish it off?
But the princess, having appeared,
She explained everything easily. " -

Princess:

“You found the wrong thing in the needle,
What you were looking for. There is everything
Only his masculine strength
And his immortality.

Will while away his century
Like an ordinary person
But for women, it's true,
He will stop spirited running. "

The narrator:

“And the old woman clings to Vanya,
Impatiently beats with a leg:
Execution of the agreement
Apparently, he is waiting for him. "

"Listen, grandma, get off,
Calm down and calm down
And from these sexy heights
Get down to the ground.

By the way, Koschey is sitting there -
Very frail, but nobody's
And just as you asked:
Can't do anything, snake!

Here's what I'll tell you:
Take it to yourself -
Maybe he's long awaited
The dream prince is in your destiny!

Look, he is thin as a pole,
Apparently, he eats very badly,
Except for a slender skeleton,
He has no other places.

Feed him, warm him,
So that he looks more cheerful
And not as forgotten by everyone
And withered leeks.

We are with my beloved
We will live where Koschey lived:
Once the palace is free -
It means that he is already nobody's.

By this move, maybe
I may not turn
Fatherly house in the commune
And you can't cheat yourself.

Finding peace and quiet
We will throw a friendly feast:
Come in any and everyone -
A shoemaker or an emir!

You, old woman, also be,
Do not forget all your own;
And take Koshchei with you -
Let him take it on the chest with us. "

The narrator:

“Then Ivan called his wife,
And she went to him,
Out of habit, croaking softly
And slightly drooling.

And Ivan again
With sadness I remembered the day and the hour
Unsatisfied wedding night
And an unknown ecstasy.

But he has these thoughts away
Drove away - if I could!
There are so many nights ahead -
She will remember this night too!

... And, after a week,
Ex-Koscheevsky palace
From folk fun
I could not save myself!

The first guest to the palace
The formidable king-father arrived;
The previous feast yesterday is only
He finished at last.

And behind him are the sons,
And daughters-in-law and relatives,
Guests from past fun
Those who didn't finish half a day.

Both the old woman and Koschey ...
(By the way, it is on top of the relics
Has grown amber fat
From the old woman's borscht).

Well, followed by a lively rush
Thirsty people for spectacles,
As if he had left to eat
Your last sandwich!

And who is not here only!
As if all the light had gathered
Proving again that the "ball" -
This is our mentality! ...

... I was at the feast too
And I ate and drank with everyone,
And, of course, this fairy tale
I decided to tell you!

Is there a living lesson in it?
Is there a simple hint in it?
Is there for thought
An effective gulp of thoughts?

Maybe someone recognized himself?
I only know that it's not in vain
Exist in our life
Fairy tales are true friends!

My sister dreamed for a long time about the possibility of a trip to Italy, and this dream of hers came true. The three of us - me, she and my eldest daughter Olga - got together abroad. You should have seen your sister in Venice, in a gondola, in the museums of Florence, Rome, and finally, in Naples, on Capri. This time was the happiest in her life. She saw Italy, breathed her air. She had her beloved people with her, and ahead was her last joy - the marriage of her pupil.
And after him came the terrible hour. Death has come.
My grandfather Ivan Andreevich Nesterov was from peasants, and our family was peasant, Novgorod. Under Catherine II, the Nesterovs moved from Novgorod to the Urals, and there they established themselves in factories. It is known that he is about the grandfather. went free, was in the seminary, later enrolled in the guild and, finally, was the Ufa mayor for twenty years in a row. According to the stories, he was smart, active, hospitable, an excellent administrator, and as if once the famous Count Perovsky, the Orenburg governor-general, visiting Ufa, found exemplary order in it and, turning to his grandfather, said this:
- You, Nesterov, need to be your head not here, but in Moscow!
According to the surviving portrait, the grandfather looked like the administrators of that time. Depicted in a uniform with an embroidered collar, with two gold medals. He had the title of "sedate citizen". He was very fond of society, according to his father and aunt, he gave home performances, and our family kept a poster of such a performance, printed on a white atlas, for a long time. The "Inspector" was walking. Among the characters were my uncle Alexander Ivanovich (governor) and my father (Bobchnsky). The grandfather was not a merchant by vocation, nor were any of his sons. He died in 1848 of cholera. He had four sons. Of these, the eldest - Alexander Ivanovich - was gifted with extraordinary abilities. He played the violin perfectly, as if he was composing - composing. Played on stage incomparably, especially tragic roles ("Merchant Igolkin" and others). He liked to read and did not like trade.
His fate was sad. In those days, as well as later, in the Urals, in factories, there were riots. And after such riots, a party of workers was delivered to the Ufa prison. Somehow they established contact with my uncle Alexander Ivanovich, and he undertook to deliver their petition to the highest name. The Nizhny Novgorod Fair came up, and my uncle was sent there by my grandfather on business. He finished them and, instead of going home to Ufa, he waved off to Petersburg. He stopped at an inn, found out where and how he could give his paper to the sovereign, and, since he was advised to do this through the heir of Alexander Nikolaevich - the future Emperor II, his uncle decided to see him. Times were simple then. The highest persons behaved differently than later, they walked the streets, in the gardens, and the uncle decided to give his petition to the heir in the Summer Garden, where he used to walk at certain hours. He was very lucky. Indeed, he saw the heir walking on one of the paths of the garden, approached him and, kneeling down, filed a petition with an explanation of the contents in it. He was graciously listened to and released hopeful. Happy, he returned to the inn, but on the same night he was taken, imprisoned and sent with couriers to distant places ...
Obviously, the heir on the same day presented the petition to Emperor Nikolai Pavlovich, and he looked at the matter in his own way - the rest happened as if by pike.
I remember Uncle Alexander Ivanovich well. After his exile, he lived in our house as an old man. Everything that he had experienced left a mark on his health, mentally he was not in order. Outwardly, in those days, he reminded me of the artist N.N. Ge. The same manners, the same head with long hair, even a coat instead of a jacket, just like Ge's in the last years of his life. His hero at that time was Garibaldi, personal enemies - Bismarck and Pope Pius IX. They got it badly from the old "revolutionary".
Even as an old man, my uncle loved to play the violin, for which he went to the garden in the summer. In winter he loved the bathhouse and after the regiment he liked to run out into the cold, plunge into a snowdrift and then - again on the shelves. And this was when he was already over seventy. He died a very old man in Ufa.
Uncle Konstantin Ivanovich was a self-taught doctor.
Of the aunts, Elizaveta Ivanovna Kabanova was distinguished, like Uncle Alexander Ivanovich, by liberal sympathies. Aunt Anna Ivanovna Yasemeneva, on the other hand, was conservative. In her youth, she painted well with watercolors, and it was a great joy for me to have her drawing. I especially remember one - "Margarita at the spinning wheel." There, it seemed to me, as if alive, there was a green ivy by the window. Undoubtedly, her drawings in early childhood left some mark on me.
I don't remember my grandfather Mikhail Mikhailovich Rostovtsev. I know from my mother that the Rostovtsevs came to Sterlitamak from Yelets, where my grandfather was doing a large trade in bread, it seems that he had large herds of sheep. He had good funds. He was of a gentle nature and, apparently, very kind. That's all I know about him. I don't remember anything about my grandmothers; they died long before my birth. Grandfather Mikhail Mikhailovich had three sons and three daughters. The eldest - Ivan Mikhailovich - visited us when he came from Sterlitamak. He was unfriendly, they say, he loved more money.
The second - Andrei Mikhailovich - lived at the mill, and I don't remember him, and the third - the youngest, very good-natured, careless, with great oddities, rich, married to a beautiful noblewoman, by the end of his life he let everything down, and if he didn't need it, then I had to cut myself a lot. None of the Rostovtsevs' uncles showed themselves with any talents.
Of the daughters of Mikhail Mikhailovich's grandfather, the eldest, Evpraksia Mikhailovna, was indescribably kind and deeply unhappy. I knew her as an old woman and loved her very much. From time to time they brought her to visit us. She was one of the first to see and appreciate my painting abilities in her own way. When she saw him about the Hermit, she said to me: “Your old man, Minechka, is as if he were alive!”, And this to him, to my Hermit, was like a good parting word.
The second daughter of Mikhail Mikhailovich was my mother, Maria Mikhailovna, and the third, Alexandra Mikhailovich, was, so to speak, the most cultured of all the sisters. Alexandra Mikhailovna was a very good, intelligent person. She was married to a certain Ivanov, a man of rare moral rules. From small postal officials, he rose to the rank of chief of the postal district, to the rank of privy councilor, and with his fairness, nobility and accessibility, he won absolutely exceptional love from his subordinates, especially from lower employees. He was one of the finest and most respectable people I have ever known. He was handsome, modest and clear with the special clarity of a just and honest life.
I began to remember myself when I was three or four years old. Until the age of two, I was a weak, barely surviving child. Something they did to me to save my life! No matter what medical and folk remedies they tried to raise me to my feet, I still remained a frail, breathing child. They tried to put me in the oven, I also visited the snow in the frost, until one day it seemed to my mother that I completely gave my soul to God. They dressed me up, put me under the image. A small enamel image of Tikhon Zadonsky was placed on his chest. Mother prayed, and one of her relatives went to Ivan the Forerunner to order a grave near the grandfather of Ivan Andreevich Nesterov. But it happened like this: at the same time, Aunt E. I. Kabanova's baby died, and he also needed a grave. So relatives came together and argued about which of the grandchildren should lie closer to grandfather Ivan Andreevich ... And at that time my mother noticed that I was breathing again, and then completely woke up. Mother happily thanked God, attributing my resurrection to the intercession of Tikhon Zadonsky, who, like Sergius of Radonezh, enjoyed special love and reverence in our family. Both saints were close to us, they entered, so to speak, into the everyday life of our spiritual life.

Time immemorial

adverb, number of synonyms: 1

Long ago (56)

• - Wed And this is a man ?! About times, about century! I.I. Dmitriev. Epigra. Wed O tempora! o mores! About times, about morals! Wed Geibel. Das Lied vom Krokodil. Cic. In Catil. 1, 1. Cf. Cic. Dejot. 11, 81 Cf. Martial. 9, 71. Cf. Ubinam gentium sumus? What kind of people are we among? Cicero ...

  Explanatory phraseological dictionary of Michelson

• - From the title of the English film "A man for all seasons", which in the Soviet box office was called "A man for all time" ...

  Dictionary of winged words and expressions

• - in times "a" ...

  Russian spelling dictionary

• - About times, about vѣk! Wed And this is a human ?! O times, oh vѣk! I. I. Dmitriev. Epigra. Wed O tempora! o mores! About times, about morals! Explained Wed Geibel. Das Lied vom Krokodil. Cic. In Catil. 1, 1. Cf. Cic. Dejot. 11, 31. Cf. Martial. 9, 71 ...

  Michelson's Explanatory Phraseological Dictionary (original orph.)

• - Spread. Shuttle. At least sometimes; when the opportunity presented itself. He walked well, thought slowly. and to be alone, to remember something, it turns out, is sweet. And then all there is no time, everything is spinning ...
• - Outdated. Once upon a time. For activity, a goal is needed, a future is needed, and activity for one activity at the time of it was called romanticism or self-gratification ...

  Phraseological dictionary of the Russian literary language

• - See During ...

  A large dictionary of Russian sayings

• - antiquity, past, Adam's eyelids, ...

  Synonym dictionary

• - n., number of synonyms: 4 future future tomorrow tomorrow ...

  Synonym dictionary

• - n., number of synonyms: 10 past reality yesterday yesterday past past past past past past past old ...

  Synonym dictionary

• - adverb, number of synonyms: 6 in ancient times in antiquity old times in ancient times at the dawn of foggy youth ...

  Synonym dictionary

Synonym dictionary

• - adverb, number of synonyms: 8 in the distant past, in some years, in those days, in due time, when it was somehow once upon a time ...

  Synonym dictionary

• - adverb, number of synonyms: 1 always ...

  Synonym dictionary

• - time, time, era, period, century; Age of Peter, Age of Catherine ...

  Synonym dictionary

• - adverb, number of synonyms: 1 long ago ...

  Synonym dictionary

"time immemorial" in books

Seasons and times of the century