Greetings, dear readers of my blog! I, Tatyana Sukhikh, tirelessly share with you everything that I know myself. Just recently, I told you about what a kindergarten teacher does and roughly described my job description to you. Now it is the turn of the second participant in the educational process. Do you want to know the responsibilities of parents in accordance with Russian law?

I am sure, friends, that many of you have not thought at all that the relationship between members of the same family is regulated by our legislation. Until the thunder strikes, as they say. Is it possible, however, that someone, unfortunately, had to defend their rights as a parent in court? If you want, share your experience!

So, for the sake of general development, I’ll tell you that, according to the Family Code of the Russian Federation, mothers, fathers or persons replacing them have clear responsibilities in relation to their children or those entrusted to them. Moreover, rights and obligations overlap and come out of one another:

  • Everyone who has children has the right and duty to take care of their upbringing. Moreover, mothers and fathers have the primary right to raise their own babies, and grandmothers and all other relatives should not interfere;
  • Mothers and fathers are obliged to take care of the comprehensive development of their children, their health and well-being. By law, we do not have the right to cause both physical and moral damage to our children;
  • As parents, we must ensure that our children are educated. As far as I know, any child should study exactly 9 classes. We have the right to choose an educational institution, as well as choose the form of education before school, taking into account the opinion of the child. That is, attending kindergarten is voluntary, while school is compulsory;
  • Parents have the right to protect the interests of their children, communicate with them, even when living apart, etc.

It seems that there are few duties, but let's take the right to raise children. After all, this is such a broad concept, education! According to the law, education is a positive impact on the development of the child - spiritual and physical, as well as teaching the norms of behavior in society and ensuring the education of children. Of course, everyone puts their own meaning into this concept.


What do you think about education?

Additions to the law...

According to the content of the articles of the Family Code listed above, in my interpretation it is difficult to understand what burden of responsibility lies on mothers and fathers. For example, nothing seems to be said that we must support our children, by the way, only up to 18 years old, and then - at will. An exception is if the child is disabled and cannot support himself. So, I don’t want to delve into the norms of the law, I’m not a lawyer ...

I wanted to say that concern for material well-being is “hidden” in the paragraph where it is said about concern for health and all-round development. Children's health is ensured by creating favorable conditions for life, providing good nutrition, organizing their leisure time (physical education and sports), providing timely medical care, etc.

In addition, we must organize a healthy, spiritual microclimate in our own family so that children grow up in a favorable environment for moral development. I would like to add that in all our actions and decisions, the well-being of the child should be a priority according to the law. If, for example, a baby has poor eyesight, but a specialized kindergarten is far away and it is inconvenient for parents to get there, then all the same, the baby’s interest should come first. That is - you must take the baby to a distant kindergarten, because this is important for his health.

What can I say, for normal parents in the order of things: do not put personal interests in the first place if there is a child. It is clear that the level of responsibility of parents depends on their moral principles, living conditions, and education. What is normal for one is unacceptable for another.


You know that family law, administrative, civil or criminal liability is provided for failure to fulfill your parental responsibilities. But we punish parents only in egregious cases. If the baby is malnourished, wears torn shoes and does not have the opportunity to attend sections, then such mothers are not punished.

Yes, people's financial situation is deplorable, but I often see that parents do not try to make it better. You can find funds for elementary hygiene products, and even mend things in such a way that it will be imperceptible. Poverty is not a vice, but it is not an excuse either.

What are the responsibilities of parents whose children attend kindergarten?

You often hear from mothers, grandmothers and even fathers that you, educators, must do this or that for our children. Have you thought about what you should do for kindergarten? Yes, there are requirements for parents, imagine.

The Constitution does not prescribe the duties that parents face in relation to a preschool institution. But there is a model provision for a kindergarten, on the basis of which each kindergarten draws up a Charter, which also contains the duties of parents. So, if you want your child to attend a specific kindergarten, then be kind enough to comply with the Charter.

For example, it says that the participants in the educational process are educators, children and their parents. And the relationship between all parties is built on cooperation, mutual respect and the priority of human values. Sounds nice, right?


You already know the duties of teachers, but do you want to know yours? There are few of them:

  • Follow the Charter of the kindergarten, which you should be familiarized with, but it usually hangs printed out on information stands;
  • Comply with the clauses of the agreement between parents and the preschool institution;
  • Provide the institution with all possible assistance and support in the implementation of the tasks set;
  • Timely pay for the maintenance of preschoolers in the kindergarten.

The administration of the preschool educational institution determines the internal rules - the time for receiving children, the schedule of classes, etc. You, dear parents, must fulfill them. There are also requirements regarding garden clothing, a change of clothes and other things that are needed to ensure the comfort of the child and the convenience of the staff.

Usually, when you enroll in a kindergarten, you are given a list of everything you need for your child. The duties of parents are not burdensome, but are often simply ignored.

So, you must bring and pick up the baby on time. Oh, how annoying it is to explain that your lateness greatly interferes with the educational process! You are not late for work, but you can go to kindergarten. I don’t want to swear with moms and dads, we will always be silent, we will make concessions. And who appreciates it?

Cry from the heart…

Or here is the clothes for the kindergarten. You ask, you ask, not to put on things of complex cut with incomprehensible fasteners, but who is listening. But there are approved requirements for clothes for kindergarten. And responsible parents read them, preparing the baby for kindergarten!

Most people love their children, take care of them, trying to bring them up well, instill a variety of life skills and give the best education.

At the same time, without thinking that they are acting as parents, in accordance with the requirements of the articles of laws.

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What laws govern this issue?

Caring for children is the constitutional duty of dad and mom(part 2 of article 38).

Parental responsibilities are regulated by Chapter 12 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation, each of the articles of which explains the essence of the rights and obligations of parents of different categories– married couples, singles, minors, adoptive parents, etc. in different life circumstances.

The state pays enormous attention to the education of the younger generation, adopting federal laws, as well as other regulatory legal acts, the number of which exceeded 140 documents.

Despite the measures taken, the issue of parental responsibility, their awareness of the importance of family values ​​in the upbringing of children remains topical.

New "Law on Education"

As for the education of children, it is clearly recorded in the new Law of the Russian Federation “On Education” of 2015 No. 273-FZ (adopted on December 21, 2012), which also highlights the duties of parents in the educational field.

In addition to choosing an educational institution, form of education, national and foreign languages, the parent is obliged to be interested in curricula and teaching methods.

Attending various medical and psychological examinations of a child is the right of parents, as well as protecting the interests of their minor offspring. And here compliance with various rules, regimes and procedures of the educational institution is the responsibility of parents.

Parents are obliged to take an active part in resolving all disputes and conflicts in an educational institution with the participation of their children, not to let it take its course and not bring the situation to the intervention of guardianship authorities, especially law enforcement agencies.

The tasks of raising minor children

The obligation to raise a child (Article 63 of the RF IC) means instill in him good manners, comprehensively develop, teach him to be in society and be in demand. Education is expected from all angles - the spiritual, physical, mental development of the personality of the offspring.

Raising a child is not an easy task., requiring the expenditure of time, labor, soul, but without this it simply will not work to achieve the desired result.

In the event that father and mother separated, for the maintenance of children under the age of 18, the one of the couple with whom the children live is entitled to alimony, withheld from the earnings of the other.

Funds for the maintenance of the offspring can be transferred by agreement between dad and mom, without the involvement of the judiciary.

Failure to fulfill parental responsibilities

The lion's share of families fulfill their obligations in relation to children in accordance with their own ideas about the upbringing and education of children. That is why, not everyone and not always do everything properly.

Responsibilities are considered unfulfilled or not fully fulfilled if minor children:

  • do not visit regularly school lessons;
  • swearing, do not know how to behave;
  • steal, beg, wander;
  • consume alcoholic beverages, and drugs, and etc.

A child who is not given time by dad, mom or both parents, with whom they are not engaged, immediately finds something to fill the hours of inactivity, and her negligent "ancestors" may be subject to punishment.

What are the consequences of poor performance?

Those parents who improperly fulfill their duties in relation to children under the age of 18 are subject to administrative punishment (part 1 of article 5.35 of the Code of Administrative Offenses of the Russian Federation). This is a warning or a fine, but this is only the first time.

If the failure to fulfill parental duty is aggravated by cruelty, then the punishment is already more serious., this is a criminal punishment (Article 156 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation) in the form of a very large fine, or working off a mandatory period of up to 440 hours, or up to 3 years of forced labor.

In the presence of a combination of grounds, manifested in the whole complex of unfulfilled debts to children complicated by criminal intentional infliction of harm to the health of a minor baby, his parents (Article 69 of the RF IC).

A decision may be made about (Art. 73 para. 2) when the life or upbringing of a child is valid there is a real threat posed by the behavior of mom or dad.

Who enforces the provisions of the law?

Undoubtedly, community and school play a role in identifying dysfunctional families where children are physically or sexually abused, where children are unkempt, hungry, and parents drink or lead an antisocial lifestyle.

Law enforcement agencies also monitor compliance and identify pockets of trouble by exposing brothels, where children are forced to be, abandoned and not receiving proper education, security.

But it is precisely the authorities and guardianships monitor how parents fulfill their duty to their children who are not yet 18 years old. PLO employees have the authority not only to appoint guardians, but also to:

  1. solve the issues of placing children in children's institutions;
  2. protect the interests of the child in court proceedings;
  3. have decisive vote at meetings of commissions on juvenile affairs defending their interests.

Despite the measures taken by the government, the number of dysfunctional families in which there are minor offspring does not decrease.

In time to pay attention to such a cell of society, when the child has not had time to completely lose interest in a normal life, and kindergartens, and schools, and not indifferent neighbors, and an attentive district commissioner can help.

Preventive measures can bring positive results only when the problem has not yet acquired an irreversible character, then it is possible to do without harsh measures against parents who have deviated from the main course of their lives - raising and providing for children.

When you have a boy, you feel great pride that you were able to produce such a perfect man. This is a kind of initiation as a woman. And since you have a very strong connection with your child, such a feeling of unlimited power over a man can seriously turn your head. And you start making one mistake after another. So, what you absolutely cannot do as a mother of a boy:

Ignore his opinion. You should consult with your son, thereby teaching him to take responsibility for his actions and make decisions. This is a very important quality in a boy! Not every man has the ability to really be the head of the family, and his parents should teach him this. In this case, dad plays the role of a competitor, and competition with him for the status of a man develops strength of mind and toughness in the boy, but mom teaches respect for a woman and her femininity.

Stop dreams. Boys are usually more active than girls. And your task is not to suppress this activity. If he wants to climb the hill - let him go, if he wants to go to boxing - let him, he wants to quit boxing and go to sambo - this is his right. He should try his hand at many things, let him do it. Do not think that he will grow up to be a slob. Rather, he will know what he really wants. The only caveat - do not forget to give him responsibility for his actions. Fell down a hill and broke his nose - no “I told you!”, admire the fact that he still rolled down; please be more careful next time.

Laugh at him, even if his actions are really very touching. Explain your laughter to the baby correctly: “It’s funny for me to see how such a little boy talks in a completely adult way. I am proud of you!"

Kiss on the lips. To avoid the indignation of many mothers, we will make a reservation right away: a kiss on the lips is an act of a sexual nature, period! It has nothing to do with maternal tenderness. To express tenderness, hugs, tickles and kisses on the cheeks, forehead, nose, etc. are quite enough.

Change in front of the baby. As soon as he began to walk on his own and say "I myself!", You should start treating him like a man. And this man is not yours, although you gave birth to him yourself. Therefore, you should not appear in front of him without clothes.

Discuss his mistakes with friends, especially with him. This hurts the pride of a boy somewhere around the age of 4-7 years. As a result, he learns one of two programs - either he ceases to trust women in principle, hiding his failures and problems from them; or ceases to be active in order not to make mistakes, which in adulthood turns into a “husband on the couch” or a complete lack of ambition.

". Even if you do not have time to feed the child five times a day or play with him not as often as "should", this is not a reason to "fire" yourself from the position of a good mother.

You have read a bunch of specialized books, but are still looking for the answer to the question "" In this case, the advice of psychologist Anastasia Rubtsova will surely come in handy. Anastasia collected the basic “rules of a good mother” according to psychoanalysts and shared her findings on Facebook.

Before, only my friends started talking to me about what a good mother is. Now the men are doing it too. I wanted to say “and I draw conclusions”, but I do not draw conclusions. I'm just freaking out. Because conversations usually go in the spirit of "everyone knows that a really good mother should have horns and a blue tail, only this way and nothing else."

Let me tell you what a “good enough mother” is according to psychoanalysts. The same notorious Winnicott, to whom everyone always refers, and those who follow him. Literally telegraph line.

She, this mother, must be physically.

Don't laugh, it's not such an obvious point. That is, she should not disappear for more than a few days, go on a research expedition to the Republic of the Congo for six months, work until 11 pm, go to the hospital for a month, or even die. All this can happen to her. What does not happen in life. But then the father, grandmother, nanny becomes the figure replacing the mother, and all our following points will already refer to her.

She knows how to deal with her anxiety and calm the child.

This is a very complicated point, dozens of books and articles have been written about it, but in a nutshell: if your house is a mess, if you can leave the house without checking seven times if the iron and gas are turned off, if you don’t panic , looking at how a child climbs a dirty ladder, it means that you somehow cope with anxiety. If you can hug a child in such a way that he calms down (not strangle, but hug), if you at least sometimes manage to replace “Don’t yell, stop embarrassing me!” to “Everything is fine, everything is fine, my little one, let's calm down,” at least in one case out of a hundred, then you can handle it. And even if it fails, it can be learned. Gradually.

A good enough mother is wrong.

She must be wrong. Required. Sometimes you don’t have to guess what the child is squeaking there, whether it’s frozen, or it wants to eat again. Moreover - do not anticipate his desires. Sometimes it's too warm or too easy to wear. Do not fulfill all his requirements and do not buy everything that he asks. And so on. According to Winnicott, a good mother is wrong about 30% of the time, and her mistakes are absolutely necessary for the child - otherwise, if she were perfect, he would not have learned to cope with resentment, sadness, anger and rage. According to other researchers, the more ideal the mother, the worse it is for the child's psyche. Moreover, the same heightened anxiety that we have in the previous paragraph is often passed off as "ideal".

A good enough mother has her own life.

She is not completely immersed in the child, there are other people with whom she rests her soul from infantile fun, all these "cuckoo" and "we pooped." Winnicott thought that she should also have good sex with the father of the child, but here Winnicott is not an authority, because he himself did not give birth to anyone. And before sex there, in the first year of infant life, God forgive me. And why exactly with the father of the child? But the bottom line is that the mother has an adult - it doesn't matter if it's sexual - relationship with someone else.

Every evening I tell my son: "I love you." And the boy, who is 7 years old, answers me: “Anyway, I love you more” ... Some mothers are especially lucky, they have a son. The bond between mother and child is very strong, but in the case of sons it is special.

A person who has been doing unthinkable things all day long - running very fast, naughty, fighting and being capricious, in the evening turns into such a gentle and sensitive creature that you can’t even believe it! This is an important point: you need to let the child know that his love is mutual, and his mother loves him no matter what.

Then a real man will grow out of a boy, not only strong, responsible and corresponding to the ideas about men in this world, but also able to love! But this is the main thing for a person - to be able to give his love to others and appreciate it.

These rules are clear to every mother, but even the most diligent parents should be reminded of such things. Indeed, the daily bustle sometimes erases the essence of what is happening - for the sake of which, in fact, we all gathered here and why we do everything. Remember the most beautiful moments that fall to the lot of a mother raising her son!

How to raise sons

1. Feelings turn into words
To help your child cope with emotions, it is worth teaching him to express his feelings in words. A healthy child is one who does not restrain his emotions, understands himself, knows how to control sensations and calls a spade a spade. Emotional constriction breeds many diseases! Show by your own example how to express emotions correctly and how to name them.

2. Support forever
The main admirer of the son is his mother, of course. She knows everything about his achievements and failures, remembers the smallest details of his life. Sometimes a son may be ashamed of his devoted fan, but he will always know that there is a person in this world for whom he is the most important.

3. Householder
Do household chores with your son, teach him to cook, wash, clean and take care of himself. He will definitely need it!

4. Dance
Dance together, and never make fun of a child's awkward movements. Dance is a way to get to know your body better and express your state through movement. This is a great therapy for bad mood and stress.

5. Good people.
There are a lot of good people around, and everyone is beautiful in their own way! Teach your child to be receptive to positive examples, talk about outstanding scientists, travelers, writers... Faith in people is instilled from childhood. When it is not, life loses its meaning. The son will still have time to face the negative, but to see the good in everything - this can be taught.

6. Best example
The superhero is mom. The most intelligent, beautiful and kind. Always remember that you are the ideal for your child and match it.

7. Faith
A person must believe in something. If you protect a child from religion, teach him to believe in goodness and justice, in karma. Faith saves from loneliness and despair and will be with the child all his life.

8. Tenderness
There are things with which you need to be careful and gentle. Animals, nature, small children and other people's feelings are real treasures.

9. Things
Things break, spoil and get dirty, it's inevitable. Mom should take it for granted. An extra quarrel over soiled clothes is useless, it is much better to teach a child to correct the consequences of his violent activity.

10. Interests
It is very important to maintain mutual understanding with your son, and for this you need to be interested in what he is interested in. This is useful for mom - learning something new, she retains her youth!

11. Walks
Walk together more often, enjoy the beauty around. Teach your child to understand nature and enjoy observing.

12. Games
The son doesn't always have to win - let him lose. This is a useful experience that will teach him to treat life philosophically. Not always everything will work out, you need to earn a victory.

13. Help
Do not refuse to help your child and ask for help from him! This is an excellent tool for educating a wise person. Helping his mother, the son feels useful and learns to help other people.

14. Practice
To achieve perfection, you need to work! Talents without hard work mean nothing. Teach your son to be diligent and not to quit things before finishing them. If it didn't work on the first try, it will definitely work on the tenth.

15. Questions
Try to answer all the questions your child asks you. Ask counter questions. The most important thing is to teach the child to find answers to all the moments of interest to him on his own.

16. Dad
Mom should let dad be dad! For a son, this is authority, there is no need to undermine it, even if dad does not always cope with his role.

17. Sports
For a boy, this is very important! Choose a sport that won't be too traumatic, like swimming. Physical strength and health will help a man to be self-confident.

18. Kisses.
Tactile contact is important for both boys and girls. Hugging, kissing and holding hands is to show your love. Teach this to your child.

19. Society
Take your son with you to visit, travel, everywhere. This is an invaluable experience that will shape his personality!

20. Necessary things
Never forget to put tissues, antibacterial agent and band-aid in your purse! Without this, it is better not to leave the house.

21. Good manners
To be able to give way, to be polite and even courteous, to respect women are useful qualities. They will win people over to their son and promote social adaptation. Always show courtesy by example.

22. Reading together. Read books together!
When a child is already reading on his own, it's great to just sit next to him and read your book. The example of an adult is contagious!

Your son is the treasure of your heart and he should always know about it. The boy will turn into a man, but he will love you just as much. Even in difficult times, remember that you are lucky!