8-800-7000-6000 (9:00-21:00) - Helpline for abused women. The call is free of charge from any telephones (wired and mobile) in Russia.

Service feedback: Good evening! I would like to thank your employees on the "hot line". Very delicate, help to find a way out in a difficult situation, support. Thank you for your work, you are doing the right thing! I would like many women to know that they are not alone in their trouble, even if they do not find support in their family or among friends or are embarrassed to say that hell is happening in their home.

"Do not be afraid of anything!" Unified all-Russian helpline for children, teenagers and parents

8-800-2000-122 (8:00-20:00) The call is free of charge from any telephones (wired and mobile) in Russia. When calling this number in any locality of the Russian Federation, children, adolescents and their parents can receive emergency psychological assistance. Confidentiality and free of charge are the main principles of the children's helpline. This means that every child and parent can anonymously and free of charge receive psychological assistance and the secrecy of his call to the helpline is guaranteed. More than 200 organizations in all subjects of the Russian Federation are connected to this number, most of which operate around the clock.

Emergency round-the-clock psychological assistance at the Ministry of Emergency Situations of Russia

Tel.: 112 (describe the problem, you will be switched to a psychologist).

Confidentiality and free of charge are the two main principles of the children's helpline. This means that every child and parent can anonymously and free of charge receive psychological assistance and the secrecy of his call to the helpline is guaranteed. In recent years, the children's helpline has become one of the usual and necessary services for psychological assistance to children in our country. Psychologists who are ready to answer a child's call at any time of the day or night have saved dozens of lives and helped solve many problems of children and their parents.

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In September 2010, in the Russian Federation, the Foundation for the Support of Children in Difficult Life Situations, together with the constituent entities of the Russian Federation, introduced a single all-Russian children's helpline number 8-800-2000-122 . When calling this number in any locality of the Russian Federation from landline or mobile phones, children, adolescents and their parents, other citizens can receive emergency psychological assistance, which is provided by specialists of services already operating in the constituent entities of the Russian Federation that provide telephone counseling services and are connected to unified all-Russian children's helpline number.

In recent years, the children's helpline has become one of the usual and necessary services for psychological assistance to children in our country. Psychologists who are ready to answer a child's call at any time of the day or night have saved dozens of lives and helped solve many problems of children and their parents.

The Children's Helpline is a completely anonymous service. You have the right to keep your name and any other information that you do not want to disclose confidential.

The children's helpline is absolutely free.

Help on the Helpline is provided:

in a situation of acute grief (loss of parents or loved ones, abrupt changes in the family, other acute psychological trauma);
victims of physical, moral or sexual violence (subjected to violence);
having difficulties in adaptation (social, family, school) and behavioral disorders (including addictive nature: drug addiction, substance abuse, alcoholism, gambling in games);
experiencing various kinds of psychological problems: sexual and social maturation; onset of mental illness; negative personal experience of solving unexpected problems.

Specialists of the children's helpline say with confidence that their service is in great demand, and the number of requests for help is growing. Relationships with peers, misunderstanding of parents, school failure, health problems and even first love - such questions were the most popular among "small" subscribers. The number of calls to the children's helpline continues to grow. At the same time, it cannot be said that each call is information about some critical situation. This may be the appeal of fathers and mothers for advice to specialists or the request of the child to help resolve a conflict situation with peers or with parents.

In addition, there is a help line "Children Online" - a telephone and online counseling service for children and adults on the problems of safe use of the Internet and mobile communications by children and adolescents.

You can contact the Help Line:

by phone 8-800-250-00-15 (from 9 to 18 on business days, Moscow time, calls within Russia are free)
at www.detionline.com
by email[email protected]

Psychological assistance can be provided on the Internet:

http://www.mneploho.net - Hotline for people in difficult life situations, Chelyabinsk
http://self-exploration.ru - Free helpline for persons in difficult life situations, Chelyabinsk
http://crisiscenter74.ru/ - CRISIS CENTER, Chelyabinsk

Additional information about the Children's Phone Trust sites:

Instruction for students, pupils

The unified helpline provides psychological assistance to children and parents in order to strengthen the family, prevent family problems, stressful and suicidal moods in children and adolescents, and protect the legal rights of children. In addition, the telephone facilitates the receipt of psychological assistance for children and adults living in remote rural areas, where, due to objective and subjective circumstances, it is difficult to contact stationary services. Employees of the helpline service will provide emotional support and assistance to parents in raising children, help in providing timely competent psychological assistance to children who have experienced a traumatic event.

It is very important not to distract the psychologists of the Helpline with joke calls and prank calls. Perhaps when you prankly occupy the telephone line, someone in great need of help and support will not receive it, and disaster will happen!

Instructions for parents of students

A unified helpline for children, adolescents and their parents was created within the framework of the National Information Company to Combat Child Abuse and is funded by the All-Russian Foundation for Support of Children in Difficult Life Situations.

A single helpline for children, adolescents and their parents provides psychological counseling assistance to children and parents in order to strengthen the family, prevent family troubles, stressful and suicidal moods in children and adolescents, and protect children's rights. In addition, the telephone facilitates the receipt of psychological assistance for children and adults living in remote rural areas, where, due to objective and subjective circumstances, it is difficult to contact stationary services. Helpline staff will provide emotional support and assistance to parents in finding ways to provide psychological support to children who have experienced a traumatic event and in restoring daily family life and the educational process.

The phone operates throughout the Russian Federation, day and night, 24 hours a day. The call can be made from any phone and is free. In this case, the caller has the right not to give his name, and the content of the conversation will remain absolutely confidential.

After dialing the number, the region from which they are calling is determined, then the call is forwarded to the telephone service for psychological assistance to families and children in this region. If the telephone line is busy, then the call is again redirected to the second service of the same region, etc., until the psychologist answers. In a conversation with a subscriber, a psychologist always proceeds from the fact that a person has the right to be the way he is. Specialists of the unified helpline never condemn anyone, criticize or teach life.

Everyone in life periodically encounters situations in which it is difficult to figure it out on your own. By calling the unified helpline- 8 800 2000 122 , you can get qualified personal psychological assistance.

Consultation

" Helpline"

8 800 2000 122

Today, almost every major hospital is ready to provide a consultation with a psychotherapist or psychologist. Psychological support of the population plays an important role today, because constant stress leaves its mark on people's lives.

In addition to city and district hospitals, psychotherapeutic centers provide psychological assistance. Often such departments are located on the basis of psychiatric hospitals, but there is no need to be afraid of this. On the contrary, specialists who work daily with psychological and psychiatric problems can provide the most complete assistance.

In every more or less large city, receptions are conducted by private offices of psychotherapeutic assistance. If necessary, you can go there. But in order not to run into a not very qualified specialist, it is better to choose consultants with a regular clientele.

Helplines

Helplines are one of the best ways to get psychological help. The fact is that most of these hotlines work around the clock, provide complete anonymity, allow you to talk about any problem - after all, it is much easier to do this over the phone. In addition, consultations are carried out by specialists with extensive experience. For the greatest comfort, the most basic helplines are all-Russian free hotlines with a single telephone number. Among them:

Helpline for children and their parents - 8-800-2000-122 - an emergency psychological helpline operates around the clock in all regions;
- helpline for women affected by - 8-800-7000-600 - a service where specialists provide psychological assistance, emotional support, organize self-help groups; the phone works from 8:00 to 21:00 Moscow time daily;
- hotline on HIV infection and AIDS - 8-800-2000-300 - round-the-clock and anonymous service;
- Helpline for oncological patients and their relatives - 8-800-1000-191 - round-the-clock telephone, where you can consult on issues of oncological pathologies, get psychological support;
- a single anti-drug phone - 8-800-345-67-89;

In addition to helplines, there is also a service of Internet portals of psychological assistance, the most basic of which is the portal of emergency psychological assistance of the Russian Emergencies Ministry http://psi.mchs.gov.ru/

If you feel like you need help, don't hesitate to ask for it. Experts will always help, advise, support in a difficult situation.

Sources:

Children's helpline
All-Russian free helpline for women subjected to domestic violence
Hot line
Internet service for emergency psychological assistance of the Ministry of Emergency Situations of Russia

Talking with a stranger about purely personal problems is not always convenient, sharing with loved ones is too exciting. For such cases, there are online psychological counseling services, where advice is given by experienced professionals. How can I get real help from them?

Instruction

Before you ask a question, carefully read the ones that psychologists have already answered. Firstly, you may find the information you need without direct communication with virtual doctors, and secondly, you will be able to understand the answers whether you can trust consultants.

Clearly state your question, indicate your age, provide all the necessary details. Remember that you are not required to give your real name, so you should not be afraid that the whole world will know about your delicate problem. Imagine that you are at a doctor's appointment, do not be afraid that someone will judge you, just state the most important thing.

You can also ask to be consulted individually, so that your correspondence is not available to all users of the site. In some services, such a service is provided, but if it is not provided, it is not necessary to insist on a personal consultation.

Psychologists who give recommendations online thus gain the experience necessary in their complex profession. Therefore, do not think that they are not serious about online counseling. However, among them there are also novice specialists, as well as students of specialized universities, so it is not superfluous to ask about the age and work experience of a consultant.

The main obstacle on the way to communication with a psychologist is often false shame, the fear of seeming different from everyone else. Try not to succumb to stereotypes, the support of a specialist, especially in delicate matters, if it does not solve the problem, it will greatly alleviate your condition. Online communication can develop into a face-to-face consultation if you deem it necessary.

Tip 3: How to get a free consultation with a psychologist?

When there is a need to get psychological counseling, we begin to look for a suitable specialist. One of the most affordable ways is to search for a specialist psychologist online. To do this, you need to know several features of obtaining psychological assistance via the Internet.

Finding a psychologist who can really help is not as easy as it might seem at first glance. A preliminary contact is necessary, during which you can feel whether this specialist is suitable, whether you can completely trust him. After all, a person to whom spiritual secrets are revealed cannot be the first person they meet. And how to understand before the appointment, can you trust a specialist?

Now on the Internet there are several portals for providing various, including psychological assistance. After registration, you will be asked to undergo a paid or free consultation with various specialists, as well as ask your question.

On many portals, it is possible to ask a question to all experts - psychologists at once, whose education is confirmed by the site administration.

Within a few hours you will receive various answers from experts. Usually those experts who have experience in helping in such situations answer. Each answer will represent a certain angle in resolving your situation.

You need to read all the answers. In most cases, they will contain professional advice and recommendations, which are worth listening to, since they are given by professionals. In some cases, such recommendations are quite enough to resolve problem situations.

If, after receiving all the information, there is a need for a personal consultation, then choose a specialist from those who wrote their answer and indicated their attitude to your situation. Also, do not forget to look at his page and get acquainted with the experience of his work and reviews of other clients.

Tip 4: How to get a free psychological consultation

Stressful situations, doubts, complexes and problems - very often people need the support and help of a trusted person. Usually they turn to friends, relatives and acquaintances, colleagues for advice. But some problems can only be solved by a qualified specialist, the cost of whose services is high. Nevertheless, psychological help is available to everyone.

How to get a free consultation

In such cases, you need the help of a qualified person who can answer disturbing questions. Free help can be obtained from a variety of psychological forums and websites. The advantage of online consultations is that they are anonymous, which means you won't feel ashamed to discuss personal matters as you would in a face-to-face meeting. Also, depending on the nature of the problem, you can find a specialist in the appropriate direction. But consultations also have a disadvantage, which is impersonal communication, which makes it impossible to accurately determine the depth of the problem. That is, such assistance will not be 100% effective in relation to experiences.

Some sites offer a more live consultation option - an Internet call. It will allow you to discuss the problems that worry you in direct communication with a psychologist and build a dialogue. This option works on the principle, it is also anonymous and effective in that, having heard the emotional coloring of the conversation, the specialist will get a more complete picture of the problem.

Help from a psychologist

The difference between paid and free consultations is only in the place and form of the consultation. All people involved in such activities must be experts in their field, which means they must comply with professional ethics. No need to worry, no one will know about your problems. Most often, this is what stops people from contacting psychologists and solving their problems. There are situations when only a specialist can help you, who will put the problem on the shelves from his point of view. In any case, it is subjective, but the task of this person is not to impose his opinion on you, but only to show solutions.

Mental problems are a kind of disease, and in their treatment, the help of a qualified specialist is needed. The feeling of happiness is the key to the health of the whole organism, which is why you can’t dive into problems that will accumulate over time like a snowball.

A specialist is the best assistant in a difficult situation

Helplines have been around for a long time. Today you can talk about your problem and get psychological help not only by phone, but also on one of the many sites on the social network.

Each service employs not just consultants, but professional psychologists who provide psychological assistance around the clock. Each of the employees working by phone or via the Internet has a higher psychological education.

As a specialist, a psychologist-consultant can help to understand any, even the most difficult situation.

Work specifics

The specifics of any work is the solution of the problem that has arisen and the provision of emergency psychological assistance to the victim at a difficult moment in life.

A counseling psychologist, after listening to a person, will help relieve tension, understand the current situation and give professional advice on overcoming the crisis.

Anonymity and privacy

One of the advantages of trust services is anonymity, which further contributes to the openness of the conversation and trust.

A lot of things happen in a person's life every day. Unfortunately, it is not always possible to boast of unexpected joy. Troubles tend to come suddenly. It is at such moments that it is right to talk to a specialist and get professional advice.

The main principles of the work of services for the provision of emergency psychological assistance are:
- anonymity;
- openness of conversation;
- confidentiality.

It is the maintenance of this policy that contributes to the establishment of trust in communication between the specialist and the person who asked for help.

Better talk

Often it is necessary to speak out, pour out the soul and relieve tension. For such cases, emergency psychological assistance services were organized.

The correct construction of a dialogue by a specialist will allow you to mobilize both intellectual and spiritual, and personal. Many people say correctly: “It is better to talk than to go and fight!”.

A huge number of people have already taken advantage of the help of professionals. A counseling psychologist will help relieve aggression and even some helplessness.

The history of the emergence of the world's first psychological help telephone is connected with the United States at the beginning of the 20th century, where one night at the Protestant priest Harry Warren, the phone rang. The caller begged for a meeting, explaining that his situation was hopeless. The awakened and irritated priest replied that he would listen to the poor fellow tomorrow in the church, in the morning. And the next morning it became known that the caller had committed suicide. Struck by this situation, the priest printed an ad in the local newspaper: "Before you die, call me at any time of the day." The first "official" helpline was launched in London in the 1950s. Since then, hotlines have been operating all over the world.

Now hotlines (and especially telephones for psychological assistance) are a very important social initiative. As a rule, it is necessary to take advantage of the opportunity to receive psychological counseling in moments of crisis or when experiencing emergency situations in life. It is almost impossible to predict how this or that person will behave, being in a state of stress, extreme circumstances. That is why it is very important to popularize information about the very possibility of obtaining emergency psychological assistance. After all, not everyone, alas, when experiencing difficult moments, it occurs to them to seek psychological help, albeit remote.

The most vulnerable segments of the population are, of course, children, adolescents, women (who are statistically more likely to be victims of domestic or sexual violence). Sometimes, being in a psychologically unfavorable, stressful environment that does not make it possible to "escape", face-to-face psychological assistance becomes simply inaccessible or unattainable, telephone counseling is the only way to get help in overcoming the problem.

Telephone counseling has a number of basic principles that are steadily observed by the organizers of all such services:

anonymity both the caller and the consultant: the subscriber is not obliged to give his real name or other personal data. The phone number is also not fixed, which is designed to increase the degree of mutual security of the interlocutors;
tolerance, consisting in the fact that no matter what views the subscriber holds, they are in no way condemned or criticized;
confidentiality is designed to ensure complete secrecy of the information received by the consultant from third parties, and any statistical collection of information (nature of the problem, gender, age) is as impersonal as possible;
call control belongs primarily to the subscriber, who can end the conversation at any time.

What specialists work in these services?

First of all, these are, in some cases, volunteers (volunteers) who have undergone special training. The work of consultants is accompanied by supervisors - highly qualified psychologists or psychiatrists who help to form and improve counseling skills, conduct training sessions and correct work in general.

The main purpose of telephone counseling is to provide primary psychological assistance. Further, if necessary, specialists can provide information about the possibility of obtaining, for example, narcological and psychiatric assistance, including anonymous assistance.

Attention: services to obtain further psychiatric or drug treatment may be provided for a fee. Specify details by phone.

Psychological help telephones

For Moscow, a free round-the-clock "Telephone for emergency psychological assistance" is open - 051

THE CHILD DOESN'T HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH THE STEP-FATHER/STEP-MOM

Raising a non-native child does not always mean that relations with him will be like with his own.

Raising a non-native child does not always mean that relations with him will be like with his own. This degree of closeness is not an easy task and requires a huge amount of effort, patience and time. Of course, a lot depends on the circumstances and conditions of the appearance of a new person in the child's life and the relationship with the past parent. Becoming a good stepmother and stepfather means building relationships based on mutual respect and the ability to be interesting, necessary for the child, not just on an unconditional level, as with his own parents, but in some very specific issues and situations. It is a social love that must be earned and nurtured with the child's past experiences, often painful.

What are the main mistakes to avoid:

Do not rush the child, give him time to get used to the new person and accept the fact that life in your family has changed. Each of us needs a psychological pause to accept vital changes, and even more so for a child whose life experience is completely different from ours.
Most of all, children are afraid that a new person will abruptly start making friends with them, because mom / dad needs it. They do not perceive this as a sincere and genuine interest, but rather as your desire to please your new spouse.
Do not create situations of competition or the need to compare a stepfather / stepmother with a natural parent, in this situation the stepmother or stepfather will most likely lose against the background of his own mother or father.
Do not insist that the child calls you dad or mom.
Do not forbid the child to see his own father or mother, if both can and want to meet.
Advise your new spouse not to introduce your rules and regulations abruptly, for example, change the old style and lifestyle of the family and everything that the child is used to.
Do not expect much from the child and do not demand instant obedience and adherence to your principles. Many of the children perceive their parents' new partners as a threat. The best medicine is not only time, but also the ability to maintain an active-positive attitude whenever you are with your child.
Avoid criticizing or negatively evaluating the birth parent, whatever the situation, even if the child himself speaks negatively about the birth parent.

How sometimes a parent's heart breaks when their child suffers and suffers because of love. On the one hand, you understand that this is an experience that everyone goes through and once it touched you too, but on the other hand, you are afraid of whether at such a sensitive age, with its inherent vulnerability and maximalism, your child will be able to overcome and psychologically not break down. For a teenager, the breakup of a relationship is perhaps the most powerful emotional shock in life. This is also affected by the hormonal restructuring of the body, followed by sudden mood swings, while the character has not yet been formed, and life experience has not been accumulated.

How to make this painful moment in the history of his life an instructive and wise lesson, thanks to which he will be able to avoid future disappointments and become stronger?

Let your child know that you are there without unnecessary questions and instructions that this is normal, there will be many more loves ahead, and you should not worry. Hugs, mutual silence, or just being next to the child will create the ground for the child not to close, not withdraw into himself and be ready to talk to you. You can simply say: “I see and feel that you are having a hard time in your soul, probably because of some kind of relationship and something went wrong. Whenever you want to talk, just let me know, I'm there."
As soon as the child is ready to speak, just listen to him, ask questions and help him express his feelings and experiences as much as possible, this will relieve emotional stress and throw out what is destroying him from the inside.
Instead of formal phrases “oh, how much more you will have, it’s not worth your worries,” share how it was in your life and thanks to what and to whom you were able to survive it, trust people again, love and be loved. Honestly admit and don't deny the fact that your child will have to be sad for a while, and this is absolutely normal. Your life experience and a good example are more important and useful than thousands of psychologists' advice, just help your child accept what happened to him and understand that in the life of every person there is a place for suffering and feelings because of love. Your child may need very specific advice on how to proceed in the current situation and how to avoid further traumatization.

Cyberbullying: how to help a child with online bullying

“Cyberbullying is the use of force or influence, whether directly or indirectly, whether verbally, in writing, or physically, or by displaying or otherwise using pictures, symbols, or anything else to intimidate, threaten, harass, harass, or embarrass, through the Internet or other technologies, such as mobile phones,

David Fagan, lawyer at BizLegal.eu

Summer is coming to an end, soon it's time for the guys to return to school everyday life. For many, this is stress, because the daily routine changes, the daily workload increases and the situation with difficult relationships in the team returns, if it exists. At the beginning of September, the children's helpline 8-800-2000-122 receives an increased number of calls about the inability to enter a new rhythm, difficulties with concentration and problems with peers. The topics of aggression on the Internet are also becoming especially relevant, since in the fall, teenagers spend more and more time at the computer. We will talk about such a phenomenon as cyberbullying and how to deal with it in this material.

The main signs that a child or teenager has become a victim of cyberbullying:

He changed in mood, scared, anxious, including:

Became sadder;
Tries to avoid social events, trips to sports clubs, etc.;
I began to use my mobile devices less often than before;
Began to react negatively to the sound of new messages;
His behavior has changed, especially in the field of interaction with the Internet.

Any sudden change in a child's or teen's mood that persists for a long time can be a sign that they are being cyberbullied. If such suspicions have crept in, it is worth having a heart-to-heart talk with him and in no case judging.

Fear is always reason enough to worry. If a child seems to be scared all the time, he may have been the victim of cyberbullying. These symptoms may indicate other problems as well. But the situation of cyberbullying is quite easy to recognize, so it is worth trying to eliminate it in the first place.

He deleted his social media pages

A person who is being cyberbullied may delete their social media pages to avoid bullying. If you know someone who has recently suddenly deleted their social media pages without explaining why, talk to him, he may be trying to protect himself from online harassment in this way.

You came across offensive or humiliating images and messages with his participation in the network

Cyberbullying often happens in front of everyone. Therefore, you may come across in the public domain his compromising photos or messages.

10 forms of cyberbullying

An exception

This form of cyberbullying is like a boycott: the victim is purposefully excluded from all social circles on the Internet. For instance,

He is kept out of games, meetings, or other communities of friends;
He is excluded from all joint online conversations;

Sometimes the reason for exclusion may be that the child, unlike the others, does not have a smartphone or does not use social networks.

harassment

Harassment refers to persistent, intentional bullying. A child or teenager is insulted and threatened through messages, sending them to a personal chat or leaving them in groups.

This form of cyberbullying is extremely dangerous and can lead to serious consequences for a child. When messages come in all the time, he simply doesn't have time to take a breather, which makes the situation worse. A flood of malicious messages can frighten a child and make them insecure.

Outing

Outing is the intentional publication of a person's personal information without their consent in order to humiliate them.

Outings can take many forms, and the information released can be either serious or minor. Even reading other people's messages on the phone can be considered outing. Personal information cannot be disclosed, so you need to make sure that if such an incident happens to your child, he will report cyberbullying to the support of the social network, to the administration of the school or other institution, etc.

Cyberstalking

Cyberstalking refers to attempts by adults to contact minors via the Internet, arrange a personal meeting with them for the purpose of sexual exploitation. This is an extremely dangerous type of cyberbullying that can have serious consequences. Therefore, it is necessary to take all measures to notice the threat in time and prevent it.

Fraping

In fraping, the abuser takes over your child's social media account and posts inappropriate content on their behalf. By doing this, the offender harms the reputation of the victim.

Using fake profiles

Cyber attackers can create fake profiles, hide behind fake names and photos, or use someone else's phone number. This gives them the opportunity to anonymously poison a person on the network without incurring suspicion on themselves. Bullies often use fake profiles because they are afraid that their identity will be known. Usually in this case, the offender is well known to the object of bullying.

Dissing

Dissing is the transmission or publication of defamatory information about the victim on the Internet. It can also damage the victim's reputation or damage their relationships with other people. The offender in a situation of dissing is trying with all his might to humiliate a child or teenager, drawing maximum attention to this process. Most often, acquaintances of the object of harassment do this, which aggravates the situation.

Deception

In this case, the cyberbully tries to win the trust of the child or teenager by deceit, to find out personal or intimate information from him and publish it on the network.

Trolling

Trolling is a deliberate provocation using insults or profanity on Internet forums and social networks.

The main goal of the troll is to humiliate, anger the victim and make her lose her temper and turn to insults. Trolls spend a lot of time looking for particularly susceptible prey.

Catfishing

In this case, for the purpose of deception, the cyberbully creates a new, completely identical to the original, profile of the victim on social networks based on stolen photos and other personal data. On behalf of a fake profile, they add all the friends of the victim, lie to them that this is actually the correct page, and the previous one was hacked, they can start asking for a loan or write insults as if on behalf of the victim.

What to do if your child is a victim of cyberbullying

Explain to the children that when communicating on the Internet, they should be friendly with other users, in no case should they write rude words - reading rude words is just as unpleasant as hearing them.
Teach children how to properly respond to hurtful words or actions of other users. You should not communicate with the aggressor, and even more so try to answer him in the same way. It may be worth leaving this resource altogether and deleting your personal information from there if you cannot solve the problem peacefully.
If a child has become a victim of cyberbullying, help him find a way out of the situation. Almost all forums and sites have the ability to block the offender, write a complaint to the moderator or site administration, and demand that the page be deleted.
Teach the children not to use the net to be mean, gossip, or threaten.
Try to keep track of what your child is doing on the Internet, and also monitor his mood after being online.

Step-by-step instructions for dealing with cyberbullying on social networks.

Report the incident to the representatives of the social network

Complain about the offender to representatives of the social networks in which the bullying took place. Social media has rules about posting offensive content and other inappropriate behavior. After your appeal, service representatives are required to investigate the situation.

Vkontakte

Facebook

Instagram

Twitter

Consider who else needs to report the situation

If you consider a case of cyberbullying to be serious enough, you may want to contact:

To the school management, if your child's abuser is studying there;
To the offender's parents;
To the police.

Remember! You must be sure of your accusations, because if you make a mistake, you can seriously and irreparably damage the reputation of the person you accuse.

Help your child change their social media profile settings

Prevent the bully from contacting your child again. Together with your child, reduce the amount of personal information about him in the public domain. Take the following steps to protect him from repeated bullying online:

Do not disclose personal information online: address, phone number and location. You can protect yourself from unwanted contacts by changing the privacy settings in your social network accounts. This will help keep certain people from interacting online with your child. Change these settings so that only close friends can contact him.
You may need to change your child's social media name. If the child retains the former name or nickname, the abuser will be able to find him and continue the bullying, introducing himself as someone else. Eliminate this possibility by changing the child's name on social media, their profile picture, and any other information that might help the abuser identify them. Once you've made all the necessary changes, check how difficult it has become to find your child online.
Create a new account. If someone is impersonating your child online, creating a new account can help. Let your child's friends and family know that their email address, social media profile, and account names have changed.

Emotional support for the child

Do not criticize and be sure to support your child during this critical period. Let the child understand that in case of cyberbullying, he can trust you and the people who professionally provide assistance in such situations, tell about the possibilities of an anonymous service that you can trust with your problem and find a way out of this situation. In such situations, it is very important to quickly and promptly find support and speak out, stop feeling like a “victim” of someone’s cruel joke or revenge. When a child, not alone, but together with someone, takes steps to solve a problem, he will feel that he is fighting the problem and solving it, and not turning a blind eye to it and resigning himself to the verdict on the network.

Reflection of feelings - speaking out the feelings that a child experiences after a situation that has occurred, when it is clear from his facial expression and behavior that he is clearly worried, and it is difficult for him to start a conversation (≪I think you are offended≫, ≪Probably you feel upset≫) .

Consequences: children are less afraid of negative feelings and conflicts, they see that their parents understand them. It is better to name feelings in the affirmative form, since the question expresses less sympathy. This technique helps to establish contact and increases the child's desire to talk about himself.

It is also important to broadcast to the child:

Recognition of the objective complexity of situations.
Confidence in a positive outcome.
Accession.
Recognition of the strengths of the individual.
Unconditional acceptance (love).
care.
Pointing out the strengths of the situation.

Have your child write about what happened.

It is often helpful for a child to write down what has happened to them. On paper, he will be able to comprehend what happened to him, restore the whole picture of cyberbullying. So he will learn to quickly recognize the signs of cyberbullying at its first signs.

Establish general rules for using the Internet in your family

It is very important to agree with the child about the rules for using social networks and the Internet in order to protect him from the dangers, which are becoming more and more in our time.

How to get a child to quit smoking?

How to build relationships with a child or teenager

From childhood, begin to form a culture of safe behavior in your child in general, because the way we behave on the Internet often reflects our behavior in society. Pay attention and practice the skills of safe behavior on the Internet that are important for teenagers: SMS service activation, how to shop safely on the Internet, how to distinguish scammers and provocateurs in SMS and emails, how to recognize phishing sites, etc. the Roskomnadzor project "Personal data. children" will help you - http: // personal data. children

To protect children from inappropriate content on the Internet, many services have been created, including the Children Online project. Project experts help children and advise adults in situations related to the safety of minors when using the Internet.

It is important to get to know your child's real environment and encourage him to spend as much time as possible with friends in live communication.
Support your child more, find out how he is doing not only in matters of study, but in relations with peers and teachers, how much he can withstand school stress and stress. Protect your relationship from conflict and pressure, maintain a balance of honesty of demands and privileges, praise for achievements and criticism for misconduct and broken promises. Teenagers are especially sensitive to the topic of justice and, above all, they cannot stand double standards when they are already adults in order to “clean up the house and sit with their sister”, and for “walks in the evening with friends, a girl, a guy and discos are still very small.” They will always distinguish your sincere interest and concern from control and attempts to shift adult worries onto them. They are ready to support the rules if you accept them jointly and in advance and abide by mutually.
As much as possible, take your child’s free time with eventful and meaningful leisure for him and the opportunity to choose and influence what not only he, but the whole family will do! Find a creative and positive alternative to dangerous and extreme games in the form of underground quests, paintball, active sports, unusual travels, joint culinary duels, trips to your favorite shops, exhibitions and art spaces.
Help the child to rationally and critically look at this phenomenon, support and respond positively to the social campaign of teenagers themselves on the Internet in support of the value of life. Do not be afraid to talk to him about death and suicide if necessary, this should not be too taboo and secret in communication between you, so as not to arouse in teenagers the desire to go there out of curiosity and figure it out without you. An article specifically addressed to him will help you with this.

As you and I know, teenagers will do not what we tell them, but what we ourselves do and what we unconsciously broadcast with our behavior. If parents spend all evenings and weekends on social networks, then the child will repeat after them. That is why it is important to show by personal example a positive attitude and the ability to cope with difficult situations, without ceasing to appreciate life in all its diversity. Often it is from you that he receives a formula on how to survive difficulties, continue to believe in himself and turn trials into a lesson and experience.
Talk heart to heart with the child just like that, and even when perhaps he asks a question and discusses the situation of supposedly some friend or acquaintance, sometimes in such a hidden indirect way they talk about themselves and their problem. It is important for them to feel the right to make a mistake and that if they share something particularly personal, they will not be punished and limited in their freedom and communication with peers.

Your close emotional contact is stronger and more important than any content on the Internet.

How to develop a child's independence?

Independence implies full responsibility for oneself and feasible for the life of the family. Often a teenager seeks responsibility only where it is beneficial to him. Your task is to learn how to share your responsibility with him in other “unprofitable”, at first glance, areas, to help him understand that everything that happens in his life and in the life of his family is now happening not only thanks to you or through your fault, as it was in early childhood, but also because of / in spite of his actions.

Usually an independent person is called a person who himself knows how to:

has good self-organization skills;
determine the limits of their capabilities and ask for the necessary help;
set goals in various areas of life and achieve them;
cope with difficulties and make decisions in important situations;
more disciplined;
has a fairly stable self-image.

One of the most characteristic features of a teenager, associated with the growth of his self-awareness, is a pronounced desire for independence, the desire to show his “adulthood”, the presence of a kind of “sense of adulthood”.

In order to grow up, he needs to learn to cope with responsibility for himself and the consequences of his actions, so free the child from your overprotectiveness and give him as much responsibility as he is able to take on. Many parents cannot see how their child makes mistakes, so they strive to decide everything for him, which leads to infantilism and complete helplessness in adult life, where every day you need to make decisions and be responsible for them yourself. A teenager needs your recognition, understanding and trust: give him the opportunity to make mistakes and correct his own mistakes.

At the same time, you should not immediately remove your control and entrust the teenager with many different responsibilities: the load of responsibility, like the load in sports, must be given very gradually and in portions so that it has a useful result. Discuss with your teenager what he can start doing on his own and choose one to start with. It's great if it is something useful for the whole family, so that the child can feel its importance and usefulness.

A teenager, like a kid of 2-3 years old, tests the rules for strength, but not in order to find out the boundaries of what is permitted, but in order to form their own moral and ethical code.

Thus, by the end of this stage of development, with a favorable course, the child becomes almost an adult, capable of:

take independent actions within the provided space and opportunities (in part, this can already be done by a one-year-old child);
understand the boundaries of what is permitted (which occurs during the crisis of three years) and choose to follow them or go the other way, albeit condemned (which is formed by adolescence);
knows how to perform actions aimed at satisfying his needs and maintaining order (all this can be taught to a baby while he is still a preschooler);
is guided in regulating his behavior by the norms and rules adopted by himself, which can either coincide with the views of adults or go against them (we get this just in the course of adolescence).

5 reasons why a teenager is not independent

Fear of making a mistake and turning into a mockery in the eyes of friends and relatives.
Fear of consequences, because children's rules still live in a teenager: if you did wrong, you will be punished.
Fear of the unknown: a wrong decision can drastically change your life, friends will leave, your usual way of life will change.
Lack of experience is perhaps the main reason: a teenager simply does not understand the essence of the problem of choice and is not able to solve it himself.
Laziness is a derivative of weak life motivation: a teenager has no need to make a choice, he is used to having everything done for him.

In order for a teenager in the future to try everything that he can do himself and enjoy it, it is important:

Firstly, to help a teenager in the formation of skills to set a goal;
It is necessary to organize such a business (cases) that will allow the child to achieve at least a small success, which will add faith in his strength, increase them;
Parents need to teach a teenager to make their own choices and take responsibility, actively delegate and determine his personal area of responsibility in the family;
Support successes and first independent steps, focusing on positive motivation, and not on possible sanctions and restrictions on rights.

I AM UGLY/FAT/POORLY DRESSED

I'm ugly, fat, poorly dressed

Almost all teenage girls often say: "I'm ugly." Beauty is a very subjective concept. It is clear that there are some “ideals” of beauty, but it is important to understand that you can have beauty without having an ideal appearance. Beauty can be "made", but be prepared for the fact that being beautiful is work, all beauties are always working on themselves. When we see models and cover stars, we don't always think about how many diets, gym trips and restrictions they have experienced in their lives.

Let's start with the basics: beauty is a concept that includes many nuances and little things. She happens external(figure, face, hair, clothes), internal(self-confidence, kindness, sincerity, honesty, etc.), general- charisma and charm. Believe me, there are no ugly people, you just need to find the qualities and features of your personal beauty in yourself.

Now think about what you should change in your appearance in order to become more attractive.

Don't like the figure?

Everything is as easy as shelling pears, start eating right and doing any sports and strength training, and if there is no time for sports (although, without a doubt, if you want, you can easily find it), then just start walking up the stairs and walking more, start with simple runs with your favorite music on your headphones.

Don't like leather?

Again, start eating right and be sure to go to a dermatologist (if necessary), many skin problems will go away with age and a number of physiological changes.

Bad hair?

Review your hair care and make a new hairstyle, according to world statistics, it is the hairstyle that changes the appearance and perception of the face by 68%.

If you still consider yourself ugly and are tormented by the question “what to do if I am ugly”, then you should watch films about typical urban Cinderellas and “gray mice” that rapidly changed outwardly when someone could see their inner beauty and strength , and then they decided on cardinal changes in life. For example, films The Devil Wears Prada and 13 to 30.

With inner beauty, things are a little more complicated. To begin with, again, it is worth finding your “strong” beautiful sides and what makes you interesting and people like you.

When communicating, try to focus not on the fear of what they will think about your appearance, but on what you can interest people in, for example, what interesting and unexpected facts you know, how you can cheer them up, what interesting things and activities you can offer, what ask non-standard and tricky questions, think about how you can surprise and inspire people.

People like confident people, if only because with them they themselves learn to cope with their fears, which everyone has.

We are attracted by their inner strength and charisma. Are all strong and bright people from the stars of politics, theater, music and cinema so uniquely beautiful by generally accepted standards? Folk wisdom does not lose its relevance: "They meet by clothes - they see off by the mind."

There are many ways to become more attractive: the first and foremost is the desire to change.

Answer yourself a question, only honestly, what exactly does not suit you in your life and why. Think about what will happen when you change outwardly, and why do you need it. If you honestly answer these questions, then it will immediately become clear to you where to start and in which direction to move.

And please don't despair, there is always a way out! Start with small steps to change your image and image and do not forget about inner beauty!

I AM AFRAID OF UPCOMING EXAMS / DO NOT PASS THE USE

I'm afraid of upcoming exams / not passing the exam

Psychological preparation for the exam: "We are not afraid of the gray wolf!"

Unified State Examination, Unified State Examination ... What kind of thing is this? ... It looks like Yaga! Exactly, a pun: they scare preschoolers with Yaga, and schoolchildren with Ego! And now what to do with it? Calm, only calm, now we'll figure it out!

For reference:

The USE is a system of free exams in individual subjects. The results of the USE are simultaneously taken into account in the school certificate and when entering universities. When conducting these exams throughout Russia, the same type of tasks and an independent external assessment system (including with the help of a computer) are used, based on the use of a single scale and assessment criteria.

The way the unified state exam is conducted is indeed very different from how the exams were conducted before. During the traditional exam, it was possible to correct themselves, use leading questions, act on the members of the commission with their charm and eloquence (not necessarily on the desired topic). And on the exam, only factual knowledge and the ability to reason are evaluated. If we talk about psychological readiness for passing the exam, then the ability to quickly switch from one topic to another, good organization of activities, high efficiency, steady attention and the ability to manage yourself will be very useful to you. How would you rate these qualities in yourself?

Exam materials consist of three parts, in which tasks of different difficulty levels are grouped.

There are always tasks that you can solve. Assignments are developed in accordance with the program of a general education school and meet the educational standard. The tasks of part "C" meet a higher level of complexity, but correspond to the school curriculum - they are available to you!

Get acquainted with the rules for conducting the exam in advance and take part in trial testing - this will remove the effect of surprise on the exam.

Preparing for an exam takes a lot of time, but it doesn't have to take all the time. Attention weakens if you engage in monotonous work for a long time. Change mental activity to motor activity. Do not be afraid to take a break from your preparations for walks and your favorite hobby to avoid overwork, but do not delay the break either! It is optimal to take 10-15 minute breaks after 40-50 minutes of training.

The main thing is the distribution of repetitions in time:

it is necessary to divide the topics of training by day;
it is necessary to repeat immediately for 15-20 minutes, after 8-9 hours and after 24 hours;
it is useful to repeat the material 15-20 minutes before bedtime and in the morning, with a fresh mind. With each repetition, you need to comprehend the mistakes and pay attention to more difficult places;
repetition will be effective if you pronounce the material in your own words close to the text. It is better to peep into the text only when it is not possible to remember the material within 2-3 minutes;
to remember information for a long time, you need to do repetitions after a day, two, and so on, gradually increasing the time intervals between repetitions.

This method will ensure a long-term memory.

During exams, the body experiences stress, and this is normal. Light emotional outbursts are useful, they have a positive effect on performance and enhance mental activity. But excessive emotional stress often has the opposite effect. Some people, during stress, want to chew something all the time, while others, on the contrary, generally lose their appetite. Are you one of the first or the second? My appeal, first of all, to the girls - no need to worry about increased appetite, at this time they don’t get fat from buns! All calories are burned in the excitement stove! And to stimulate the brain, treat yourself to nuts, dried apricots, raisins, chocolate, mineral water.

Get enough sleep the night before your exam! If you spend the whole night “putting matches in your eyes” and trying to understand what this book is about, which you look into, and you see, you know what, believe me, there will be no point in it. You only exhaust yourself with excessive anxiety and fatigue. It is better to spend the night not at the table, but in your favorite bed, wake up in the morning in a good mood, without bags under your eyes, have a delicious breakfast, dress in accordance with the occasion and, having a beautiful appearance (even if not corresponding to the internal content), go to the exam .

On the actual exam

So there you are. Do not spare two or three minutes to bring yourself into a state of balance. Anxiety is one of the main causes of poor memory and concentration when taking an exam. Anxiety is usually associated with muscle tension. Sometimes, in order to achieve peace, it is enough to relax. This way of dealing with anxiety is called relaxation. You can perform muscle relaxation or relaxation through breathing.

Muscle relaxation

Take a comfortable position, put your hands on your knees and close your eyes. Focus on hands. You need to feel the warmth of your hands, their softness. If there is tension in your hands, just let it be. The fact that complete relaxation has been achieved can be judged if the hands become warm and heavy.

Respiratory relaxation

The easiest way is to breathe on the count. Take a comfortable position, close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Inhale for four counts, exhale for four counts.

Subject Focus

Choose any object (watch, ring, pen, etc.) and put it in front of you. For four minutes, keep all your attention on this subject, carefully examine it, trying not to be distracted by any extraneous thoughts.

Shake game

A simple way to get rid of unpleasant feelings. Start brushing your palms, elbows and shoulders. At the same time, imagine how everything unpleasant - bad feelings, bad thoughts - flies off you like water off a duck's back. Then brush your feet from toes to thighs. And then shake your head. Now dust off your face. Imagine that all the unpleasant burden falls off you, and you become more and more cheerful.

pleasant memory

If you feel unsure of your abilities in solving any problem, do the following - remember your experience of successfully solving similar problems in the past and firmly say to yourself: “I have solved problems and more difficult. I'll solve this one too!

Breathe, calm down? That's good!

At the beginning of the test, you will be given the necessary information (how to fill out the form, what letters to write, how to code the school number, etc.). The correctness of your answers depends on how carefully you remember all these rules!

Follow the rules of conduct on the exam!

Do not shout from your seat, if you want to ask a question to the organizer of the exam in the audience, raise your hand. Your questions should not relate to the content of the assignments, you will only be answered questions related to the rules for filling out the registration form or, in case of difficulties, with the test package (typos, missing letters, missing text in the form, etc.).

Focus!

After filling out the registration form, when you have clarified all the points that you do not understand, try to concentrate and forget about those around you. For you, only the text of the tasks and the clock regulating the time of the test should exist. Hurry don't rush!

Do not be afraid!

Rigid time limits should not affect the quality of your answers. Before you enter your answer, read the question twice and make sure you understand correctly what is required of you.

Start easy!

Start answering those questions that you have no doubt about knowing, without dwelling on those that can cause much thought. Then you will calm down, your head will begin to work more clearly and precisely, and you will enter into a working rhythm. You sort of free yourself from nervousness, and then all your energy will be directed to more difficult issues.

Skip!

We must learn to skip difficult or incomprehensible tasks. Remember: in the text there will always be questions that you will definitely cope with. It's just stupid not to score points just because you didn't get to "your" tasks, but stuck on those that cause you difficulties.

Collect points!

For a good result, it is not at all necessary to answer all the questions of the exam. It is much more effective to calmly give answers to those questions that you know for sure than to worry about unsolved tasks.

Read the task to the end!

Haste should not lead to the fact that you are trying to understand the conditions of the assignment “by the first words” and completing the ending in your own imagination. This is a sure way to make embarrassing mistakes in the most easy of questions.

Think only about the current task!

When you see a new task, forget everything that was in the previous one. As a rule, tasks in tests are not related to each other, so the knowledge that you applied in one (already, let's say, solved by you) usually does not help, but only interferes with concentration and correctly solving a new task. This advice will give you another invaluable psychological effect: forget about the failure in the last task (if it turned out to be too tough for you). Just think that each new task is a chance to score points.

Exclude!

Many tasks can be solved faster if you do not immediately look for the correct answer, but consistently exclude those that are clearly not suitable. The elimination method allows you to end up focusing on just one or two options, and not on all five or seven (which is much more difficult).

Schedule two laps!

Calculate the time so that in two-thirds of the allotted time you go through all the easy tasks available to you (the first round), then you will have time to score maximum points on those tasks for which you are sure of the answers, and then calmly return and think about the difficult ones , which you had to skip in the beginning (second round).

Guess!

If you are not sure about the choice of an answer, but intuitively you can prefer some answer to others, then you should trust your intuition! In this case, choose the option that, in your opinion, has a high probability.

Check!

Be sure to leave time to check your work, if only in order to have time to skim through the answers and notice obvious errors.

you have the right to file an appeal on the procedure for conducting an exam in the form of the Unified State Examination to the head of the exam site on the day of work, without leaving the exam site;
You have the right to appeal to the conflict committee within three days after the announcement of the exam result.

Be sure: everyone who studied at school is able to pass the exam. All tasks are based on the school curriculum. Having prepared properly, you will definitely pass the exam.

And you know, the Unified State Examination is just ONE OF life's tests, many of which have yet to be passed. Do not give the event too high importance, so as not to increase the excitement. All in your hands! Good luck to you!

PARENTS FORCE ME TO GO TO A UNIVERSITY I DON'T LIKE

My parents force me to go to college I don't like

If parents force you to enter a university, there are several ways to communicate with them. This problem is not simple and needs to be dealt with gradually.

Parents are the most important people for every person. They take care of their children, protect, teach, give advice, help, provide life. As a person grows older, the influence of parents on his life decreases, and his personal contribution and responsibility for his life increases.

The process of transferring responsibility from parent to child can be very painful.

Some grown-up children are not ready to take responsibility and resist in every possible way when their parents give it to them, and it happens that parents are not ready to give this responsibility to a child, no matter how much he wants to take it for himself.

The situation when parents want to influence the child's decision about choosing a future profession or educational institution is a vivid example of the fact that parents are not ready to absolve themselves of responsibility for the fate of the child and allow him to manage it himself. It may seem strange to you, but they do it not out of spite or out of spite, but out of love for you.

They sincerely worry about you, about how your life will turn out, and thus show their concern for you.

So think about it first. This is the very positive moment that is hidden behind your difficult situation. This knowledge can help you when you talk to your parents and keep you from unnecessary resentment, anger and other negative feelings.

Now you need to figure out if you can be trusted with this important choice? Perhaps your parents are not worried about you for nothing.

Answer honestly for yourself the question, are you really sure who you want to become in the future, which university to study at, or are you going to the same place as your best friend, just for the company. Or the university that your parents advise you does not like you just because mom and dad want you to study there. It is very important to be honest with yourself. After all, this choice will determine what your future will be like for at least the next five years, and maybe for the rest of your life.

If you are determined to defend your point of view, then you need to seriously prepare for a conversation with your parents. After all, the main rule of negotiations: if you do not like the idea, offer your own. It's mature and productive.

You need to show your parents that your choice is conscious, and you are ready to take responsibility for it.

First, you need to collect information about the profession that you have chosen and the university where you would like to study. To do this, use the Internet or visit an educational exhibition;

Secondly, (this will suit both those who have already decided on their future profession and those who still doubt their choice) go for career guidance. Pass special tests that will show in which professional areas you can prove yourself to the greatest extent, where you are more likely to succeed. Thus, you will have an independent opinion of experts. It will be great if you tell your parents about this and offer to go with you. This will show that their opinion and support is important to you, and that you consider the situation from all sides and make an informed decision.

Write an essay on the topic "I want to study at this university because ..." or "I want to become" your chosen profession "because ...". Here you will be greatly helped by the work done earlier to collect information and the results of career guidance.

Ask your parents to write the same essay, but on the topic “We want you to study at this university because.” Then exchange your essays, read them and analyze, perhaps each of you will see those arguments that will help you look at the situation from a new perspective. Then you can discuss this issue again and find a productive solution. Of course, there is no guarantee that your parents will take your side right away, and it may happen that you change your mind.

Whatever the final result, it is important that after doing all these steps, you can:

It is better to realize what you really want and what will be the best solution for you.

I DON'T WANT TO LIVE

I don't want to live

“Listen!
After all, if the stars are lit -
Does that mean anyone needs it?

Now you are not having the easiest life stage, you are in a lot of pain, you see no other way out, and it seems that it will never be otherwise ... But this is not so.

Many people around the world experience misfortune, loss, humiliation, separation. This world is full of suffering and injustice - this is a bitter truth. But he is also full of joy, love, hope, faith and light.

Now you are standing in the shadows and thinking that there is darkness all around, and it does not matter where you are - in the darkness, in life, or already beyond.

But if you step out of the shadow, you will know that there is light, and that you no longer have two alternatives, but many. You will remember that there are people who love and appreciate you, that there are new meanings and possibilities that were not visible in the dark.

There are amazing people who proved by their example that life is beautiful no matter what. One of them is Nick Vuychich. He was born without arms and legs. It would seem that he is doomed to live his whole life in isolation, loneliness and poverty. How can you live, study, make friends, have romantic relationships, work when you look like that? But he did. He came out of the shadow of his illness and was able to see the possibilities in order to live. And not just to live, but to become a successful person. He has a hobby and a family.

For you now, the most important thing is not to be alone with your thoughts and feelings.

Ask for help! A live real heart-to-heart conversation, a touch of a friendly hand is important. It can be your friend, someone close to whom you trust, a teacher, a psychologist, a neighbor.

Call the Children's Helpline 8-800-2000-122

They will listen to you and support you, help you solve a difficult situation. Remember, until the final choice is made, there is always a chance to change everything.

See how the life of a pendulum has changed after a simple conversation with a watchmaker.

Parable by Anthony de Mello

Pendulum

The watchmaker was about to repair the clock's pendulum when he was surprised to hear the pendulum speak.

“Please, sir, leave me alone,” the pendulum begged him. “You will be doing me a big favor by doing this. Think how many times I have to measure time day and night. How many times a minute... sixty minutes an hour, twenty-four hours a day, three hundred and sixty-five days a year. Year after year… millions of moves. I will never get over this.

But the watchmaker wisely replied:

- Don't think about the future. Tick time after time and you will enjoy ticking for the rest of your life.

This is exactly how the pendulum decided to act. And today it continues to tick merrily.

Think about what you could do together and at the same time discuss how he is doing and what is important in his life: while preparing dinner or on the road, in a cafe after shopping in the supermarket or over a cup of tea before bed. Even if it will be a short conversation, but in which you will be 100% included, this will help the child to be in confidential and open contact with you, which cannot be replaced by any correspondence in instant messengers and on-duty calls with the question “How are you?”

Never promise a child to spend time with him if you are not sure that you will succeed. It is better to indicate to the child the day and time when you can definitely say that you will have the opportunity to spend time together or go together to where you have long wanted.

Watching and discussing films together can be not only a form of unifying leisure, but also an occasion to discuss and ask the child's opinion on a topic that is difficult for you and for him and for which a special conversation is needed. This is a chance to understand that the child is interested in what he is interested in, what attracts him in others, in himself, what is happening in his soul and what kind of emotional experiences he can actually hide behind the phrase "I'm fine."

Try to maintain at least some joint family traditions and deeds that will be unshakable and become a fulcrum in your time together. This could be weekend dinners, a quarterly weekend trip, or creative workshops such as cooking classes. Turn everyday household chores into a team competition or game, don't forget board games and family parties.

At least occasionally pay attention to joint fitness, walks and other useful hobbies that you need to relieve and regenerate yourself after workloads. Believe me, children do not always need only going to the cinema, shopping, entertainment centers, sometimes it is just important for them to do something with you when you are busy with your adult life.

Delegate more to children and support their independence, because if you are busy, children should be ready for this and instead of missing you, they will show themselves as responsible and active family members, receive praise and approval. Even with your increased employment, children will be able to gain useful social experience and prove themselves.

Think about relatives, close friends and their possible active participation in the life of your children: fishing with your uncle, cooking with your grandmother, going to an exhibition together or traveling with friends of your family. This can be a great alternative for a child to “hang out” on the Internet.

Depending on your children's school schedule and your work rhythm, you can always find 1-2 hours to communicate with your child. So spend this time to good use and turn it into memorable moments filled with family warmth, small joys and frank conversations.

WE FIGHTED WITH A GIRLFRIEND AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE UP

We had a fight with a friend, and I don't know how to make up

The best friend is support and support in any life situations, so a quarrel with a friend knocks out the ground under your feet. Our mood deteriorates, it is impossible to calm down until the long-awaited reconciliation takes place. But it takes effort to get there.

How to reconcile with your best friend?

Analyze the quarrel and try to understand what caused the quarrel. If the reason is trifling, for example, you or she had a bad mood because of problems at school or in courses. Even if the accumulated negativity hits your best friend, you can easily make peace in a couple of days. The situation is more complicated if you disagreed, quarreled strongly or quarreled. Then you will have to try hard to resolve the contradictions, and this may take more than one week.
Give each other time to cool off after a fight. When you are both emotional, an attempt at reconciliation can lead to even more quarrel, so leave your friend alone so that both she and you can think about the unpleasant incident, understand your guilt and realize that you want to continue the friendship. But do not delay - do not wait for the first step from her, take it yourself, otherwise the quarrel can drag on for a long time. Do not focus on who is right, because if you love her, then guilt should not be a determining factor.

Call, send an SMS, write to an email address or on a social network 2-3 days after a slight quarrel. You'll both have calmed down by then and want to rekindle the relationship, so it won't matter who says sorry first. If you can visit, then this is the best option, because the joy of reconciliation in a personal meeting will be much stronger than by phone and, moreover, via the Internet or SMS.

Ask for forgiveness if you are to blame for a serious disagreement. Find the right words to convince your friend of sincere repentance and the desire to make peace. Explain why you did wrong, show that you are aware of your guilt. It is better to talk in person a few days after the quarrel. If a friend sees that you are really worried and repent, then she will gladly go to reconciliation, because you are her own person.
If your best friend is to blame for a strong quarrel, then act according to the situation: it is logical to assume that she should apologize, and you can wait until she wants to make peace. But you know your friend best. If you understand that pride will not allow her to take the first step, try to go to the meeting first if you value your relationship.

Always remember that the helpline for parents, children and teenagers is ready to help you in a difficult life situation. Feel free to call 8-800-2000-122, anonymously and free of charge.

I'M AFRAID OF GETTING A BAD GRADE
I'm being called names and teased by my classmates
I AM AFRAID OF THE DARK AND GHOSTS
I AM AFRAID TO STAY AT HOME ALONE
I'M AFRAID THAT MY PARENTS WILL SCORE ME
I AM AFRAID OF DOCTORS AND INJECTIONS
MY PARENTS ARE DIVORCE, HOW TO RECONCILE THEM