Remember how in the old days everyone was proud of a healthy, bright red complexion? And today, such people best of all confirm the phrase "everything is written on the face."

Of course, you would not want to be in the place of a person who, in any awkward situation, is filled with paint. Perspiration and emerging red spots on the face indicate the appearance of excitement, fears and possible complexes. These can cause serious neurological diseases in the future.

Doctors call redness of the face as a result of stress erythrophobia, and in translation this word means "fear of being red." And, indeed, our autonomic nervous system reacts to an external stimulus in such a strange way. But the inability to control the reactions of the body can create barriers in relationships. A person who has a similar problem becomes its hostage and it is sometimes very difficult to get out of the vicious circle.

If your face says everything for you, is it possible to think about the successful conduct of business? Vegetative manifestations can destroy life. It is difficult for people with such a nervous system to speak in front of an audience, they can blush, throwing a casual glance at a business partner.

I must say that doctors call such reactions not a pathology, but a protective reaction of the body. This is not a disease, but the causes should be sought in the psychosocial side of life. If you are concerned about such vivid external manifestations, you should visit a psychologist to correct the situation. The doctor will prescribe antidepressants and vitamins that strengthen the nervous system.

Scientists have not yet been able to find out the etiology of nervous reddening of the face, but it is known that this phenomenon is associated with malfunctions in the nervous system, with neurosis, depression and stress. Also, emotions are reflected on the face if a person has a dysfunction of the endocrine system. Menopausal women also experience unexpected conditions in which facial flushing, cold sweats, and palpitations are noted.

How to fix the situation?

Doctors are ready to offer a surgical solution to the problem. The operation takes no more than half an hour, but after the procedure, the nerve fibers responsible for the blood supply to the skin of the face are clamped with a special clip, and unpleasant redness will no longer bother the person.

Of course, the operation is a cardinal measure, so you should first use the advice of traditional medicine. Grape seed oil, horse chestnut extract, walnut, arnica, rosehip, hawthorn, chamomile will help get rid of erythrophobia. Skin prone to redness should not be exposed to heat. Professional advice from specialists, normalization of nutrition and competent facial skin care will eliminate the deficiency and restore self-confidence.

Many people ask this question: “How to hide your emotions”?. Don't let other people know exactly what you think.

Why hide your emotions? The answer is very simple. There are certain situations when emotions and thoughts are best kept hidden. When thoughts or emotions are displayed in front of people, they may ridicule or even take advantage of your feelings. As usual, let's stay away from this. Control your temper by laughing and staying calm. This article points out those very acts and any things that only you can do to hide and control your emotions. You don't have to let anyone know what you're thinking.

1) Take a deep breath.
We talked about benefits. After taking a deep breath, try to calm down. The same logic applies here. In addition to the obvious benefits of increasing oxygen supply, deep breathing will allow you to regain composure and be calm.

2) Stop your eyebrow movement.
Like it or not, your eyes are the first to give away your emotions. Eyes are not verbal, but they say a lot. And that's exactly where your eyebrows are: if you're angry, sad, excited in a stressful situation, there are certain eyebrow movements and positions associated with them. If you want to hide what you are feeling and thinking, stop moving your eyebrows and ease the tension in your forehead.

3) Do not put up with a false smile.
Smiling is a huge benefit, but not always. A smile and a playful look on your face will help win you sympathy and love. But this is not always the best thing that can be in a serious meeting. You might think that with a fake smile you can hide feelings such as sadness or anger. We all know perfectly well that a fake is, most often, very noticeable. If you really want to hide your emotions, keep your lips straight.

4) Don't support your head
Depressed people often support their heads with a fist or hide a gloomy face in their hands. This can be a gift to the interlocutor: it speaks of a gloomy mood, depression or sadness. The phrase "keep your head up" is not the best in a situation where you are trying to hide your feelings. Keep your neck straight.

5) Stop and refrain from constantly regulating yourself.
Do not make sudden movements of the body - constant signs of discomfort, clear signs of nervousness or anxiety. Simplicity should be comfortable. Emotions and feelings are hard to decipher if you keep calm.

6) Pause, think and speak in a balanced tone
The tone of your voice can give you away: all your thoughts. Frequent changes in tone, rapid talking, stuttering and stammering can all serve as a signal to the person listening to you. Don't let it happen and speak the truth. The slow pace of the conversation makes it possible in those critical few microseconds to think a little longer before uttering your words.

7) Distance yourself from the situation
It's not easy at all. But it may be necessary if you want to hide certain emotions from the audience. The easiest way is to just think of happy thoughts or good memories. Think of warm moments spent with your loved one or moments of joy or happiness. This will help you mentally deal with anxiety, with your current situation.

8) Talk in your mind.
"Calm down, you can do it." You must do it! If you feel like you've let your emotions get the better of you, just tell yourself that you want to. All you have to do is just tell yourself!

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Emotions are an essential part of our daily life. Whether we're laughing at a good joke or getting irritated while stuck in traffic, the experiences we experience have a significant impact on our lives. In addition, our ability to control emotions determines the light in which we are perceived by others.

If we laugh at a funny message from a friend during a business meeting, at best, we will be looked at with regret. On the other hand, the display of anger is also often completely inappropriate and can lead to undesirable consequences. Fortunately, you can develop useful skills that will allow you to hide your emotions at the right time. Let's look at some of them.

  • Learn to identify signs by which you can judge a change in your condition. If you feel like you're losing control, stop! After all, at such moments people act rather automatically, without much thought about the possible consequences. Learn to identify those signals that indicate the onset of such a state. For example, it can be physical signs - a clenched jaw, or a rush of blood to the face. Or you may notice that as you lose control of yourself, thoughts of quitting or divorcing your spouse come to you. By learning to pay attention to these signs in time, you will act more consciously next time, as well as apply other emotion control techniques.
  • Reduce the intensity of the experience. First of all, in order to hide your feelings from others, you need to learn how to control them. Doing this in moments of high tension and still maintaining rational thinking is quite difficult. In order to assess the situation soberly, it is necessary to moderate the ardor a little. To do this, you can leave the room, or on the street. Fresh air will help clarify thoughts, reduce emotions. Or try any monotonous activity. It could be drawing or knitting. The peculiarity of such exercises is that they include repetitive movements that help to concentrate on the present moment.
  • Understand what is important right now. When we are under pressure, it is very important to understand what is really important and what depends on our actions. For example, you arrived at an important meeting. And suddenly you realize that when you closed the car doors, you left your keys in it. What is important at this moment - the meeting or the keys? The answer is obvious: you need to rush to the meeting, and the keys can be dealt with later. It is necessary to determine priorities in time, as well as the range of opportunities, since learning to hide your emotions and feelings without these skills will also be very difficult.
  • Learn body language. Most of the experiences become apparent to others through posture, gestures, facial expressions and other signs. Therefore, having mastered the features with which the body expresses different emotions, you can hide those that you see fit. If you need to hide anxiety - avoid nervous movements, try to relax the whole body. Facial expressions play an important role in expressing emotions. If you want to hide anger or irritation, relax your facial muscles: do not strain your eyebrows, nose, jaws. When you hone your skills, people will absolutely not be able to discern what passions are actually boiling inside you.
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  • Step away from the situation. This is absolutely necessary when you need to hide your emotions and feelings. The easiest way is to bring back happy memories. Think about the moments you spent with the people you love. This will help you mentally transport yourself into the past from the anxious or stressful environment you are in at the moment.
  • Change the meaning you attach to a particular situation. The more you practice the methods described above, the less "catchy" difficult situations will turn out to be for you. You may even find something good in them in terms of the lessons they can teach and skills that you can develop with your help. To change the meaning of the situation, repeat to yourself, for example, the following phrase: “This is not a problem.” The more often you do this, the faster your subconscious mind will be able to believe that this is really not a problem.
So, it is absolutely not necessary to be a slave to your emotions, especially when they should not become the subject of attention of others. Each of us has the ability to use our minds to harness unnecessary experiences and express them when the time and place is appropriate.

The theories and developments of the outstanding American psychologist Paul Ekman have long won him fame and authority in the scientific and business circles, but they have gained wide popularity relatively recently - thanks to the American television series Lie to Me. The protagonist is a scientist who skillfully recognizes any signs of deception by facial expressions, postures of a person and gestures of a person, and Dr. Ekman became the inspiration for the image. We publish an excerpt from his new book "Recognize a liar by facial expression", which is being prepared for release by the publishing house"PETER" in the middle of December.

Lying well is an art

“Controlling facial expressions is not easy. Most people manage facial expressions, but they do it far from perfect. People lie more habitually with words than with their face (and with their faces more habitually than with body movements). This is probably due to the fact that people are more responsible for their words than for facial expressions. More comments are made on what you say than on what you express on your face.

It is easier for you to watch your words when you speak than to watch your facial expressions. Facial expressions can be very short-lived, that is, appear and disappear in a fraction of a second. In the case of using words, you can easily put yourself in the place of the person receiving your message and hear everything that he hears. With facial expressions, everything is much more complicated. You can hear your speech, control your every word, but you cannot see the expressions on your face, because this is simply not given to you. Instead, you have to rely on a less accurate source of information about what's going on in your face, the feedback provided by your facial muscles.

So is it possible to control facial expressions?

In controlling your facial expression, you can try to soften the expression of the emotion you are experiencing, modulate the expression of that emotion, or falsify the message being conveyed.

Mitigation

When softening a facial expression, you add a commentary expression to an existing one. For example, if you show fear when approaching a dentist, you can add an element of disgust to your facial expression as a message to the doctor that you are disgusting yourself because of your fear. The expression of your feeling did not change in intensity, as in modulation, and was not hidden or replaced by the expression of a feeling you did not experience, as in falsification. The expression of an emotion can become milder when it appears immediately after the first expression, either as a social commentary required by the rules for displaying emotions (individual or accepted in a given culture), or as a sincere expression of the next feeling. The person may actually feel self-loathing because of their fear of the dentist, or they may follow the emotion display rule to make it clear that they are no longer a child.

Smiling is most commonly used to soften facial expressions; it is added as a comment to any negative emotion. A softening smile provides a clue to understanding the negative consequences or limits of a negative emotion. She tells the other person that you are still holding your own. For example, if you smile to soften an expression of anger, you are telling with your face that you do not want to go too far, that your attack will be limited or weakened. If the smile is mixed with anger rather than softening it up as a follow-up comment, then you are saying that you are enjoying the anger you feel. A smile that softens the expression of sadness says: “I can handle this,” “I won’t cry again,” etc.

Softening expression is the most moderate form of facial control. It distorts the facial expression very little and usually comes about as a result of following the rules for displaying emotions (individual or accepted in a given culture), and not for the sake of satisfying the needs of the current moment. Since the distortion of the message being conveyed is minimal and the evidence for softening is fairly obvious, we will not discuss here how to recognize that the expression of an emotion has been softened.

Modulation

When you modulate a facial expression, you adjust its intensity to show how you really feel. You don't comment on the emotion message (as in softening) and you don't change the nature of the message (as in falsification), you increase or decrease the intensity of the message. There are three ways to modulate facial expressions: you can change the number of areas of the face involved, the duration of the expression, or the amplitude of facial muscle contractions.

Suppose that John, when he is afraid, follows an emotion display rule that requires him to show only mild fear. If John is experiencing fear, then this emotion will be reflected in all three areas of his face. If he needs to reduce the expression of this feeling, then he can take any of the following actions (or any combination of them):

Remove manifestations of fear in the mouth (as in Fig. 19A) and, possibly, also in the eyes (Fig. 13B) or show your fear only with your mouth (as in the right picture of Fig. 17).

Reduce the duration of the expression of fear.

Stretch your mouth less, strain your lower eyelids less, and don't raise or draw your eyebrows as much.

If John really felt only apprehension, but tried to look frightened, then he would really have to put on his face the expression shown in fig. 13B, and change the actions aimed at reducing the expression of fear. Usually, when people modulate, that is, increase or decrease the expression of their emotions, they use all three methods - by changing the number of areas of the face involved, the duration of the expression, and the strength of facial muscle contraction.

falsification

When you fake a facial expression, you show a feeling that you don't feel (simulation), or don't show anything when you actually feel some feeling (neutralization), or hide an emotion you feel under the expression of another emotion that you don't really feel. experience (disguise). In the case of simulation, you are trying to give the impression that you are actually experiencing some kind of emotion, when in fact you are not experiencing any emotion. Imagine that someone tells you about the misfortune of your supposedly close friend, but you don’t care at all, you don’t feel any feelings, but you put on a sad expression on your face. This is called simulation.

To successfully simulate an emotion, you must remember the feeling of what each emotional expression on your face looks like "from the inside" in order to consciously adjust your facial expression and demonstrate the emotion that you want to show to others. You usually cannot anticipate the need for simulation and do not have the opportunity to practice in front of a mirror to observe your face and rehearse giving it different expressions. Children and teenagers often develop various facial expressions in this way, adults also practice in front of a mirror on the eve of some especially important events that they know about in advance. But most often you have to rely on proprioceptive sensations - on how emotion is felt on your face “from the inside”. You need to be able to capture these sensations and remember what your face experienced when you were angry, scared, etc., so that you can consciously give yourself this or that look.

Neutralization is the exact opposite of simulation. You feel a strong emotion, but you try to look like you don't feel anything. Neutralization is the ultimate form of emotion attenuation, in which the facial expression is modulated so that the intensity of the expression of the experienced emotion is zero. If John was frightened but wanted to appear calm and unemotional, he would use neutralization. In case of neutralization you are trying to:

Keep the muscles of the face in a relaxed state, avoiding muscle contractions;

Hold the muscles of the face in a position that allows you to give the face an impassive expression: the jaws are compressed; lips are closed, but without visible effort; the eyes are fixed, but the eyelids are not tense, etc.;

Disguise the appearance of your face by biting or licking your lips, wiping your eyes, scratching parts of your face, etc.

It is very difficult to carry out neutralization, especially if some serious event or a series of such events caused your emotional reaction. Usually, when using neutralization, you appear so stiff or tense that at least you exclude the possibility of falsification by your appearance, even if the emotion that you are actually experiencing is not outwardly displayed. But most often, instead of neutralizing emotions, people try to mask them, which is much easier and more effective.

When you use a disguise, you fake an emotion that you don't really feel in order to mask or hide the real one. When you heard about the misfortune that happened to your supposed friend and put on a face of sadness, it was a simulation only on the condition that you did not experience any feelings at all. If you felt disgust and tried to hide it by giving a sad expression to your face, that would be a disguise. People resort to disguise because it's easier for them to hide one facial expression under another than to try not to express anything on their face. In addition, people resort to disguise because their motives for hiding a particular emotion usually require insincere statements about the substitution. For example, if a depressed person does not want to continue to be considered suicidal, he must not only neutralize the expression of sadness on his face, but also portray joy. The smile, which we have already called the most common means of softening emotions, is also the most common mask. Darwin was the first to try to explain the reason for this phenomenon. The muscle contractions needed to display a smile are the most different from the muscle contractions needed to express negative emotions. From an anatomical point of view, a smile is the best way to mask manifestations of anger, disgust, sadness or fear in the lower part of the face. And, of course, often the nature of the social situation that motivates you to hide one of these emotions will make you want to put on a friendly smile on your face. People often mask one negative emotion with another: for example, fear with anger or anger with sadness, and sometimes mask a joyful expression with an unhappy one.

All three of these control methods - softening, modulation and falsification (which includes simulation, neutralization and masking) - can be used in situations that force people to control their facial expressions - when following the rules for displaying emotions in a culture, when following individual rules for displaying emotions, in accordance with with the professional requirements and needs of the current moment.

The editors of the site thanks the publishing house "PITER" for the provided excerpt.

Man is an amazing organism that has not yet been fully studied, and this will not work for many years. This is because people are not machines or robots, it is impossible to predict their behavior, and most importantly, to fully determine who and what feelings are experiencing.

The man himself has adapted to the world around him, he rejoices, falls in love and experiences the brightest feelings. Other people see all this, analyze and draw some conclusions. Sometimes the topic of how to hide your feelings becomes relevant and is it possible to do this? Yes, there are a number of actions that will allow you to hide what you would not want to "reveal" to others.

Initially, you need to understand who you will hide your feelings from. Here we can talk about one person. For example, often such questions are asked by those who do not want to disclose the truth to their girlfriend or boyfriend. Perhaps you want to hide feelings from all people, this also happens and very often. After you answer this question for yourself, it will be much easier for you to understand what should be done.

How to hide feelings from one person?

If we consider the version with one person, we can say how a man hides his feelings, or rather how he should do it. This also applies to female representatives, since a person who is in love hides feelings identically:

  1. Don't look the person in the eye. This is one of the main mistakes when a person, trying to keep a secret about love for someone, begins to look intently into the eyes when they meet. Such views can cause you to be exposed. For example, if a girl sees that you are sad, she will understand your affection for her.
  2. The one who loves someone will be ready to do anything for him. There is no need to reveal the whole truth here. It may happen that a man will respond positively to any request of a woman. Thus, the female representative will understand that the man is in love, but hides his feelings. Someone does not believe in such advice, but what will be the surprise of a woman when you are ready to sacrifice something very expensive for her? Would you do the same for every stranger? Surely, only the one you love will be worthy of your act. To hide love or affection, it is better not to fulfill any requests, this will directly allow you to remove suspicion from yourself.
  3. If you like someone, it doesn't mean that you have to go out and win the heart of a beautiful girl or an attractive guy right away. Continue to follow your goals in life, achieve them. For now, having friends is enough for you. As soon as you feel that everything has slowed down dramatically and needs to be changed, you can take some action. In other cases, do what you need to do, this guarantees you no suspicion of love.
  4. Self-deception in many cases successfully works. Use this technique when things are at their peak. You have to close your eyes and just imagine for a moment that your loved one is just a stranger to you. Then you can go about your business and spend less time thinking about someone, thereby preventing the girl from thinking that the guy is hiding his feelings (in this case, you).
  5. You need to remember about naturalness. Because the person who is trying to somehow stand out and behaves unusually immediately catches the eye. You can immediately see the desire to make the impression and seem a stronger, smarter, more attractive person. Be yourself, this is the best solution to all problems. Men in this regard got used to it, but girls often show their affection for someone on this.

Why do men hide feelings, how to understand this?

Before analyzing the question of how to understand the hidden feelings of a guy or a man, you should consider the reasons for secrecy. There are actually a lot of them, but you can highlight the main ones that are most common:

  • A male representative may just be married. But no one canceled the possible falling in love with another woman. This is one of the main reasons why a man tries to hide his feelings. And most importantly, this applies to all people. Here you can’t hide them only from your wife, because then everything will still be obvious.
  • It has always been believed that men are representatives of the stronger sex, and feelings and love are characteristic of girls. Some, in order not to seem weak, try to hide their feelings in this way.
  • Hidden feelings of a guy or a man can appear when a person himself does not understand what exactly is happening in his life. When a feeling of shock and surprise has befallen, it is important not to tell anyone else about it, which will avoid any additional problems.

Well, now it is important to note a few facts that will answer the question of how to understand that a guy is hiding his feelings. We are talking specifically about guys, but this can also be attributed to a man:

  1. By the eyes. The loving look has already been described earlier. When a person likes someone, he will try to look at him far and wide. It is a simple desire caused by human feelings. You can’t get away from him, so in any case, you can understand by looking that someone is hiding something and is not talking about it.
  2. By appearance. For example, if you remember a person who was not quite neat, tidy, loving fashion and style, how can you explain the sudden changes? If we talk about how guys in love hide their feelings, changes in appearance are the main sign. Stylish will already buy a couple more fashionable things, for example, a new watch or a jacket. The one who has never worn a suit will change his style, go to the stylist and create a new image of modern and successful. For the sake of his soulmate, the guy will be ready to make any changes.
  3. Speaking about how a man hides his feelings for a woman, it is also important to note the change in behavior. Now he is more attentive to the female representative. If earlier he did not think that a woman might be cold, now he is ready to offer his jacket to warm his beloved. Various gifts and other courtship are a clear sign of sincere feelings that are very difficult to hide.
  4. A person who hides his feelings, namely a man, will even go to the gym to improve his physical shape and like his beloved even more. His behavior in terms of gestures will change, he will try to hug all the time, take the hand that he really liked. And there is nothing surprising here, it's just psychology and nothing more.

Women and their feelings

And now it is worth considering the issue of how women hide feelings. Here, in fact, you need to carefully study the behavior, the change in communication. Women are not very good at hiding their desires to be with a man. A number of those factors, how a girl hides her feelings, have already been listed a little earlier. You can also say that they are trying not to look into the eyes, to behave somehow in a special way. But, importantly, this does not always work out. The following features will tell about falling in love with a female representative:

  1. Always a good mood. This is a generally accepted fact, because in reality women cannot control themselves. They are too sincerely happy to meet a person who is not indifferent to them. On all this, the very strong and fundamental feeling of love is based.
  2. You can observe similar changes in style, preferences. Now the woman began to make up like a parade every day, put on the most beautiful things, only dresses and no jeans. Of course, after all, you need to make an impression on your person, for whom she experiences an unforgettable passion and love.
  3. The behavior may even seem strange. Now the girl or woman will try to communicate more, showing interest even in trifles. In a word, everything will be done for the sake of attracting attention to themselves. Trying to impress won't be forgotten either.

Should you hide your feelings?

It has been said more than once about why men hide their feelings. The whole reason is either fear or simply unwillingness to take such steps. You can understand a person. But what to do in such situations? The male representative must collect his thoughts and go towards difficulties. It is important to say that he feels exactly the one to whom that same love, care, attention is addressed.

Is it possible to refuse a man who confessed his love to you? Even if there is no desire to start something, this is not a reason to offend a person. Do everything delicately, do not say the word “no” directly. You need to understand that even men are vulnerable, and they can take everything too seriously. By the way, the fear of being rejected is another reason why a man hides his feelings for a woman. Nobody likes to lose in battles, this must be remembered.

Why does a man hide his feelings for a woman?

But what if the girl is already hiding her feelings? In fact, it does not make sense to do this, since you will only aggravate the situation. Why not assume that a man is not opposed to starting to communicate with you? This happens when two people, wanting to be with each other, cannot say so. It is better to say everything as it is, because this is the only option that can be considered true.

It was talked about how to understand that a girl is hiding feelings. If she tests them for you, you will definitely feel it. Lovers have a special energy, and this applies to both women and men.

You should always strive to solve problems through conversation. Talk to the person to understand what he wants from you. Perhaps your feelings will be mutual, and you will create your own family.