We all know how hard it is in a situation where you need to console someone, and the right words are not.

Fortunately, most often people do not expect specific advice from us. It is important for them to feel that someone understands them that they are not alone. Therefore, you just just describe what you feel. For example, with the help of such phrases: "I know that you are very hard now," I'm sorry that you have so hard. " So you will understand what you really see, what is now a near person.

2. Confirm that these feelings are clear to you.

But be careful, do not drag all the attention of yourself, do not try to prove that you were even worse. Mention in briefly, which used to be also in a similar position, and ask more about the state of whom you comfort.

3. Help your close person understand the problem

Even if a person is looking for ways to resolve the situation, first he just needs to speak. This applies to women.

So wait to offer problems solutions and listen. This will help to someone you comforting, deal with your feelings. After all, it is sometimes easier to understand your own experiences, telling others about them. Answering your questions, the interlocutor can find some decisions yourself, understand that everything is not as bad, as it seems, and just feel relief.

Here are some phrases and questions that can be used in this case:

  • Tell me what happened.
  • Tell me what bothers you.
  • What led to this?
  • Help me understand what you feel.
  • What scares you most?

At the same time, try to avoid issues with the word "why," they are too similar to condemnation and only angry the interlocutor.

4. Do not mean the suffering of the interlocutor and do not try to make it laugh

When we face tears of a loved one, we are quite natural, we want to cheer it up or convince that his problems are not so scary. But the fact that weself seems to be a trifle can often upset others. Therefore, do not mean the suffering of another person.

And if someone really worries because of the trifle? Ask, whether there are any data that diverge with his mind on the situation. Then offer your opinion and share an alternative way out. It is very important here to clarify whether your opinion wants to hear, without this it may seem too aggressive.

5. Offer physical support if it appropriate

Sometimes people do not want to talk at all, they just need to feel that there is a close person nearby. In such cases, it is not always easy to decide how to behave.

Your actions must correspond to ordinary behavior with one or another person. If you are not too close, it will be enough to put the hand on the shoulder or slightly acquisition. Also, look at the behavior of another person, maybe he himself will understand what he needs.

Remember that you should not too diligence when you comfort: a partner can take it for flirting and offended.

6. Offer way to solve the problem

If a person needs only your support, and not specific advice, the above steps can be enough. Sharing your experiences, your interlocutor will feel relieved.

Ask, can you do something else. If the conversation occurs in the evening, and most often it happens, offered to go to bed. As you know, the morning of the evening is wiser.

If your advice is needed, ask at first, is there any ideas at the very interlocutor. Decisions are achieved by one who comes from the one who is in the controversial situation. If the one you console, vaguely represents what can be done in his position, help develop concrete steps. If he does not know at all, to do, offer your options.

If a person is not sad because of a particular event, but because he, immediately go to the discussion of concrete actions that can help. Or suggest to do something, for example, go for a walk together. Extra reflections not only will not help get rid of depression, but, on the contrary, will exacerbate it.

7. Promise to maintain further

At the end of the conversation, be sure to mention again that you understand how hard it is now a close person, and that you are ready to continue to maintain it.

And which one is not worth? The site will tell you how to render moral support to a person in a difficult situation.

Mount is a human response resulting from any loss, for example, after the death of a loved one.

4 stages of experience

The man who is worried about the mountain passes 4 stages:

  • Phase shock. Lasts from a few seconds to several weeks. It is characterized by unbelief in all what is happening, insensitive, low mobility with periods of hyperactivity, loss of appetite, problems with sleep.
  • Phase of suffering. Lasts from 6 to 7 weeks. It is characterized by weakened attention, the inability to concentrate, disruption, sleep. Also, a person is constantly alarming, the desire to retire, lethargy. Pains in the stomach and feeling of the coma in the throat may occur. If a person is experiencing the death of a loved one, during this period he can idealize the deceased or, on the contrary, to experience anger in relation to him, rage, irritation or a sense of guilt.
  • Phase adoption Ends a year after the loss of a loved one. It is characterized by restoring sleep and appetite, the ability to plan their activities with the loss. Sometimes a person still continues to suffer, but the attacks happen more and less.
  • Phase recovery Begins after a year and a half, the grief is replaced by sadness and a person begins to relate calmer.

Do you need to console a person? Undoubtedly yes. If you have not assisted the victim, it can lead to infectious, heart disease, alcoholism, accidents, depression. Psychological assistance is invaluable, so support your loved ones as you can. Interact with him, communicate. Even if it seems to you that a person does not listen to you or does not show attention - do not worry. Time will come, and he will be with gratitude to remember you.

Should I console unfamiliar people? If you feel enough moral forces and desire to help - do it. If a person does not push you, does not run away, it does not shout - it means you do everything right. If you are not sure that you can console the victim, find the one who can do it.

Is there a difference in the consolation of familiar and unfamiliar people? In fact - no. The difference consists of only one person you know more, the other is less. Once again, if you feel strength, help. Stay nearby, talk, involve in overall activities. Do not be greedy to help, it is never unnecessary.

So, consider the methods of psychological support in the two most difficult stages of experience in grief.

Phase shock

Your behavior:

  • Do not leave a person alone with you.
  • Unobtrusively touch the victim. You can take the hand, put your hand on the shoulder, you can stand close on your head, hug. Watch for the victim's reaction. Does he accept your touch, does not repel? If repels - do not impose, but do not leave.
  • Make sure that the comforted more rested, I did not forget about meals.
  • Consider affected by simple activities, for example, some kind of work on the organization of funeral.
  • Actively listen. A person can talk strange things, to repeat, lose the thread of the story, the point and the point to return to emotional experiences. Discard advice and recommendations. Listen carefully, ask clarifying questions, talk about how you understand it. Help the victim just spoke your experiences and pain - he will immediately become easier.

Your words:

  • Speak about the past time.
  • If you know the deceased, tell me something good about him.

You can not talk:

  • "Do not recover from such a loss", "only time heals", "you are strong, strong." These phrases can cause additional sufferings of a person and strengthen its loneliness.
  • "On all the will of God" (it helps only deeply believers), "hesitated", "he will be better there", "forget about it." Such phrases can hurt the victim strongly, because they sound like a hint to cut their feelings, do not experience them, but even forget about their grief.
  • "You're young, beautiful, still marry / give birth to a child." Such phrases can cause irritation. A person is experiencing a loss in the present, he has not yet recovered from her. And he is offered to dream.
  • "Now, if the ambulance arrived in time," here if the doctors had given more attention, "here if I didn't let him down." These phrases are empty and do not carry any benefit. First, the story does not tolerate the subjunctive inclination, and secondly, such expressions only enhance the bitterness of loss.

Phase suffering

Your behavior:

  • In this phase, the victim already can be given from time to time to be able to be alone.
  • Let's the victim more water. He must drink up to 2 liter day.
  • Organize physical exertion for it. For example, take it for a walk, take physical work around the house.
  • If the victim wants to cry, do not bother him to do it. Help him spare. Do not hold back your emotions - pay together with him.
  • If it takes anger - do not interfere.

Your words:

How to console a person: loyal words

  • If your ward wants to talk about the dead, take a conversation to the area of \u200b\u200bfeelings: "You are very sad / lonely", "you are very confused", "you can't describe your feelings." Tell us about what you feel.
  • Tell me that this suffering is not forever. A loss is not a punishment, but a part of life.
  • Do not avoid conversations about the dead, if there are people in the room who are extremely experiencing this loss. Tactful avoidance of these topics wounds more than the mention of the tragedy.

You can not talk:

  • "Stop crying, take himself in hand," "Enough suffer, everything went away," it's tactless and harmful for psychological health.
  • "And someone is worse than you." Such topics can help in a divorce, separation situation, but not the death of a loved one. It is impossible to compare the mountain of one person with a grief of another. Conversations leading to comparison can create an impression from a person that you don't care about his feelings.

It makes no sense to speak the victim: "If you need help - contact / call me" or ask him "How can I help you?" In a person who worries Mount, it may simply not be forces to raise the phone tube, call and ask for help. He may also forget about your offer.

So that this does not happen, come and sit with him. As soon as the grief slightly calms down - take it for a walk, get along with him to the store or in the movies. Sometimes it should be done forcibly. Do not be afraid to seem obsessive. It will take time, and he will appreciate your help.

How to support a person if you are far?

Call him. If it does not respond, leave a message on the answering machine, write an SMS or an email. Express condolences, inform your feelings, share the memories that characterize the most light sides.

Remember that helping a person survive grief is needed, especially if it is a close man. In addition, it will help to survive the loss not only to him. If the loss touched and help you, helping the other, you yourself will be able to survive the grief easier, with less losses for your own mental state. And it will save you from the feeling of guilt - you will not edit yourself for the fact that you could help, but did not become, waving from other people's troubles and problems.

From time to time, every person is experiencing some kind of difficult period in life. It does not matter that this is: problems after divorce, dismissal from work, illness, just bad well-being ... The essence is that at such a moment what he needs most is the support of friends and loved ones. And not so material as moral. A person wants to understand that he is not alone that they believe in him, and that he will still be able to fix everything.

It would seem that it is elementary - when your friend suffers, it needs to be supported. But why so little people know how to do it? Moreover, some in their own words and actions, perfect, allegedly, in good goals, are made only worse. Why is it going on, and how can this be fixed?

False support, or how not to do

There are several basic incorrect methods with a friend's support:

How to show proper support

You can also ask man than you can help him and what you can do to improve his condition. He will not always find what to answer, but your concern will be pleasant for him.

If at some point you already do not know what to do, then try to put yourself in place of suffering. What would you like now? What could improve your condition? Here will see the answer will come by itself. The main thing is to try to hear it.

If your friend recently broke up with his girlfriend or your girlfriend with his boyfriend, and he or she are in deep depression, or your close friend is trying to lose weight, but so far unsuccessfully, you have to do everything in your power to render moral support! You can become a present support for your friends when it is very necessary.

Steps

Support a friend when his life circumstances have changed

  1. Contact friend When you learned that someone out of your friends is experiencing a crisis, whether it is a divorce or breaking of relationships, a disease or death of a loved one, contact your friend as soon as possible. People who ended up in a difficult or crisis situation, as a rule, feel lonely.

    • If your friend is far from you, call him, send an email, or write a message.
    • You do not need to talk about what you know about the current situation. Just be close, comfort and assist the help of someone who struggles with life.
    • Having a friend personally, warning it in advance about your visit. This is especially important if your friend is sick and does not leave the house.

  2. Listen, without condemning. When a person is difficult, he wants to speak. Of course, you can have your own look at this problem, but there is no need to share this if you are not asked about it.

    • Focusing on the problem of your friend, you can help him become on the way of recovery.
    • You may ask if your friend needs to be in your advice, but do not be surprised if the answer is negative.

  3. Offer practical assistance. Instead of offering advice, make physical assistance. This is very important for those who are struggling to cope with the difficult situation. Even small little things can change the situation.

    • Help a friend to cope with household chores, for example, go to the store for products, make order in the house, walk the dog. As a rule, a person who produced in difficult circumstances does not want to do such things at all.

  4. Let a friend cope with your emotions when he is ready. Emotions that can experience a person who collided with difficulties (the disease, the death of a loved one, divorce or breaking relationships) is usually a wave-like character. Today your friend can have a good mood, and tomorrow may experience pain and sadness.

    • Never say: "Did I think already in order what happened?", Or "Are you too much sad?"
    • Try to cope with your emotions. Of course, you are also experiencing strong emotions when you take care of a man who has happened to grief. Do not think about yourself in such circumstances. Think of your friend. Make sure he can openly talk to you about his feelings.

  5. Offer your support. Make sure your friend knows that you are near and are ready to help him. Of course, it is good if someone else supports the needy, but be among those who are ready to be nearby.

    • Tell your friend that he does not burden you. Tell him: "Call me at any time when you feel bad! I want to help you cope with this difficult situation. "
    • This is especially important when it comes to a divorce or rupture of relationships. Tell a friend that he can call you when will have a strong desire to call his former.

  6. Encourage your friend Do not forget about your needs. When someone is experiencing a difficult life situation, as a rule, personal needs go to the background. That is why people who are fighting a serious illness or chagrin about the death of a loved one, as a rule, forget to eat, cease to worry about their appearance, and rarely leave the house.

    • Remind them about the need to take a shower and do physical exercises. The best way to do is lies in the following - offer a friend to walk together, or drink a cup of coffee together. Your friend will be forced to make a little effort to bring its appearance in order.
    • If you want your friend to eat, bring ready-made food with yourself so that he does not prepare himself and not soap dishes. Or you can invite a friend to eat in a cafe (if he is ready to this).

  7. Do not take power over the life of a friend. Although perhaps you have good intentions when it starts to go to help, try not to overdo it. When a person is experiencing a divorce, a disease, or the death of a loved one, he may feel a feeling of powerlessness.

    • Doing a friend offer, let him choose and make a decision. Do not just take a friend for lunch, but ask him where he wants to dine or dine. Allowing it to make decisions, even small, you give you a way to feel your importance and strength.
    • Do not waste a lot of money on a friend. If you spend a lot of money on a friend, he will feel that he is in debt. In addition, such actions you contribute to the fact that your friend will feel that he is not able to take care of himself.

  8. Take care of yourself. If your close friend has encountered difficulties, most likely you will also experience negative emotions from it. This is especially true if you have experienced something similar, with which your friend has encountered.

    • Set borders. Even if you want to help your friend, make sure that your life does not start rotating only around it.
    • Determine what behavior and situations encourage you to action. If you are dealing with a friend who recently left the house, where it came across an insult and violence, and you once had such problems, help a friend help, but do not forget about your feelings.

  9. Continue to assist. People tend to be very caring at the beginning, but over time they cease to help. Make sure you do not do that. Your friend should know that he can call you if it needs it, and that you are ready to be close when necessary.

    Support a friend who is depressed

    1. Determine the symptoms of depression. Not always a person can be depressed, he may just experience a difficult period in life. Nevertheless, if your friend has symptoms of depression, perhaps it is worth more at a more careful of his state.

      • Does your friend have a permanent depression, anxiety, or irritability? Does he experience a sense of hopelessness or despair (everything is bad, the life is terrible)?
      • Does your friend feel guilty, uselessness, or helplessness? Does he experience constant fatigue? Does he have difficulties with a concentration of attention, is it difficult to remember something, or make a decision?
      • Does your friend suffer from insomnia, or the opposite sleeps a lot? Has lost or recovered your friend lately? Is he restless and irritable?
      • Does it think and does your friend about death or suicide mention? Did he have suicide attempts? Your friend may think that the world will be better if it won't be in it.

    2. Understand his pain, but do not stop on it. Remember that the pain, sense of hopelessness and helplessness are real. Try to understand what feelings have to worry about your friend, and try to help.

      • People suffering from depressions can respond to distracting factors. Do not do it too obvious. If you walk, for example, pay attention to the beautiful sunset, or the color of the sky.
      • The constant mention of negative feelings can actually make your friend worse, as it is constantly in such a state.

    3. Do not take everything close to heart. When someone is depressed, it is difficult for him to communicate with other people.

      • A depressive person can say something offensive or unpleasant. Remember that your friend behaves like that because it is depressed.
      • This does not mean that you should calmly respond to hurt words. If your friend behaves offensively towards you, then, most likely, he needs the help of a psychotherapist. You can hardly help your friend yourself, it needs qualified assistance.

    4. Do not underestimate the severity of depression. Depression is often associated with chemical imbalance in the brain. It is much more than just sadness or misfortune. Depressive man is experiencing despair and depression.

      • Never say: "come to ourselves", or do not think that he will be better if he will "do yoga", "will lose weight", "will walk", etc. Your friend will be worse, as it will experience a sense of guilt.

    5. Suggest help. A depressive person cannot cope with his homework, it is difficult for him to wash the dishes, remove the house and do other things in the house. Help him, it will facilitate his condition.

      • People who are struggling with depression, spend most of their energy to fight their negative emotions. Therefore, they have no energy to fulfill their homework.
      • Bring dinner, or propose to clean up the house. Ask, whether you need to walk the dog.

    6. Be sympathetic to the listener. Depression is not what you can just fix. Just listen, instead of handing out a lot of tips or express your opinion on the current situation.

      • You can start the conversation like this: "I worry about you lately" or "Recently you are constantly in depressed state."
      • If your friend does not go to the conversation, you can ask a few questions to help him: "What is the cause of your bad well-being?" Or "When did you start leaving the depression?"
      • You can say: "You are not alone, I'm with you," "I will take care of you, I want to help you at this difficult time" or "You are very important to me. Your life is of great importance for me. "

    7. Remember that you are not a psychotherapist. Even if you are an experienced therapist, you should not be practiced in your friend, especially if you are not at work. To be with a person who is experiencing depression and listen to him means to take responsibility for his mental state.

      • If your friend constantly calls you in the middle of the night, when you sleep, talks about suicide and for several months or years feels depression, he must receive qualified assistance to a psychotherapist.

    8. Encourage your friend to seek professional help. Although you can support your friend, you cannot give him professional assistance necessary in its case. Perhaps you will not just speak with a friend about it, but it is extremely important for improving your friend's condition.

      • Ask a friend, I would not want to take advantage of professional help.
      • Recommend a good doctor if you know a good specialist.

    9. Know that depression can pass and return. Depression is not what comes once and then more people will not face it, as soon as he takes a little medicine (this is not a windmill). It can be a lifelong struggle, even if your friend uses the necessary medicine.

      • Do not throw a friend. People suffering from depressions are loneling, they may seem to be crazy. Supporting your friend, you can relieve its condition.

    10. Set borders. Your friend is important for you, and you want to do everything in your power to make it easier for him. However, do not forget about your needs and needs.

      • Take care of yourself. Make breaks in dealing with a depressive person. Cut the time with people who do not need your support.
      • Remember, if your friend does not come to contact, the relationship will become one-sided. Do not let it happen in your relationship.

Human happened to grief. Man lost close. What to tell him?

Hold on!

The most frequent words that are always the first come to mind -

  • Fight!
  • Hold on!
  • Stuck!
  • My condolences!
  • To help with something?
  • Oh, what horror ... well, you hold on.

And what else to say? It is nothing to console, we will not refund. Hold on, friend! Next, it is also not clear how to be - whether to support this topic (and suddenly a person is so even more painful from the continuation of the conversation), whether to change to neutral ...

These words say not from indifference. Just for the lost person, life stopped and the time stopped, and for the rest - life goes, and how else? It is terrible to hear about our grief, but his life goes to its move. But sometimes you want to ask - for what to stick? Even for faith in God, it is difficult to hold on, because along with loss, I do and desperate "Lord, Lord, why did you leave me?".

We must rejoice!

The second group of valuable tips is much worse than all these endless "hold on!".

  • "It is necessary to rejoice that you have such a person in your life and such love!"
  • "And you know how much fruitless women have dreamed of being a mom at least 5 years!"
  • "Yes, he finally dismissed! How he suffered here and everything - no longer suffers! "

It fails to rejoice. This will confirm anyone who buried the beloved 90-year-old grandmother, for example. Mother Adriana (Malysheva) went out in 90. She was more than once in a balance of death, all the last year she was hard and painfully sick. She asked the Lord more than once to pick her up as soon as possible. All her friends saw her not and often - a couple of times a year at best. Most knew her only a couple of years. When she left, we despite all this orphaned ...

Deaths should not be happy at all.

Death is the terrible and worst evil.

And the Christ defeated her, but while we can only believe in this victory while we are usually not visible.

By the way, and Christ did not call to rejoice at death - he cried, hearing the death of Lazarus and raised the son of the Nain Widow.

And "Death - Acquisition" - said the apostle Paul about himself, and not about others "For me, life is Christ, and death acquisition."

You are strong!

  • How he keeps!
  • What is she strong!
  • You are strong, you carry everything so courageously ...

If a person who survived the loss, she doesn't cry at the funeral, does not dare and is not killed, but calm and smiles - he is not strong. He still has the strongest phase of stress. When he starts to cry and scream - it means that the first stage of stress passes, he became a little easier.

There is such a precise description in the Sokolova-Mithrich report about the relatives of the Kursk crew:

"Together with us, several young sailors and three people, similar to relatives. Two women and one man. Doubt their involvement in the tragedy forced only one circumstance: they smiled. And when we had to push an enchanting bus, women even laughed and rejoiced like collective farmers in Soviet films returning from the battle for the harvest. "Are you from the Committee of Soldiers' Mothers?" - I asked. "No, we are relatives."

In the evening of the same day I met the military psychologists from the St. Petersburg Military Medical Academy. Professor Vyacheslav Shamrey, who worked with the relatives of those killed on the Komsomol resident, told me that this sincere smile on the face of the man killed by grief is called "unconscious psychological protection." On an airplane, on which relatives flew to Murmansk, was a decade, who, by entering the salon, was glad as a child: "Well, even in the plane flying. And I sit all my life in my Serpukhov district, I don't see the white light! " This means that the uncle was very bad.

- I'm going to Ruzlev Sasha ... Senior Michmanu ... 24 years old, second compartment, - After the word "compartment", women buried. "And this is his father, he lives here, too, a submariner, he looked all his life. The name of? Vladimir Nikolayevich. Only you do not ask him about anything, please. "

Are there anyone who keeps well and is not immersed in this black and white world of grief? I do not know. But if a person "keeps", then, most likely, he needs and will still need support for spiritual and psychological. All the hardest may be ahead.

Orthodox arguments

  • Thank God, now you have a keeper angel in the sky!
  • Your daughter is now an angel, Hurray, she is in the kingdom of heaven!
  • Your wife is now close to you, more than ever!

I remember the colleague was at the funeral of the daughter of a friend. Colleague - non-church - was terrified from the godfather of the little girl burnt away from leukemia: "Imagine, she is such a plastic, harsh voice - rejoice, your Masha is an angel now! What a wonderful day! She has God in the kingdom of heaven! This is the best your day! "

The thing here is that we, believers, really see that it is important not "when", but "how." We believe (and only those living) that sinless children and well-living adults will not lose mercy from the Lord. What is terribly dying without God, and nothing is scary with God. But this is our, in some sense, theoretical knowledge. A person who is experiencing a loss, and himself can tell a lot of just such the theologian proper and comforting, if necessary. "Closer than ever" is not felt, especially at first. Therefore, I want to say, "Can you please, as usual, so that everything is?"

For the months, the husbands of the husband, by the way, I did not hear these "Orthodox consolations" from the death of her priest. On the contrary, all fathers told me about how hard it is, as difficult. As they thought they knew something about death, but it turned out that they knew little. That the world became black and white. What sorrow. None "Finally, you have a personal angel appeared." I did not hear.

This, probably, can only say the person who passed through the sorrow. I was told how Mother Nataliya Nikolaevna Sokolova, who had bonened two of the most beautiful sons, was talked for the year of the most beautiful sons - Sergiy's Archpriest and Lord, said: "I gave birth to the kingdom of heaven. Here two already there. " But this is only she herself could say.

Time heals?

Probably, over time, this wound with meat through the entire soul is slightly delayed. I don't know yet. But in the first days after the tragedy, everyone is near, everyone is trying to help and sympathize. But then - everyone has their own life - and how else? And somehow it seems that the most acute period of grief has already passed. Not. The first weeks are not the most difficult. As a wise man told me, surviving a loss, after forty days, only little understand what a place in your life and the soul was gone. A month later it ceases to seem that you will now wake up and everything will be old. What is just a business trip. You realize that it will not return here, that there will be no longer.

Here at this time and need support, presence, attention, work. And just the one who will listen to you.

Consider will not work. You can console a person, but only if you return it to the loss and resurrect the deceased. And he can still console the Lord.

And what to say?

In fact, it does not matter what to say to a person. It is important. "Do you have an experience of suffering or not."

The thing is what. There are two psychological concepts: sympathy and empathy.

Sympathy "This is a person to a person, but they themselves never had." And to say "I understand you" we, in fact, can not. Because we do not understand. We understand that it is bad and scary, but I do not know the depths of this hell, in which a person is now. And not every experience is suitable here. If we buried your favorite 95-year-old Uncle, it still does not give us the right to tell the mother, which buried the Son: "I understand you." If we do not have such experience, then your words for a person will not most likely have any meaning. Even if he listens to you from politeness, the background will be thought - "But you are all good, why do you say that you understand me?".

And here empathy "It's when you make a person with a person and know what he worries." Mother, which buried the child is experiencing to another mother, who buried the Child Empathy, compassion, supported by experience. Here, every word can be at least somehow perceived and heard. And the main thing is the living person who survived this too. Who is bad, like me.

Therefore, it is very important to organize a person meeting with those who can show empathy towards him. Not intentional meeting: "But aunt Masha, she also lost a child!". Unobtrusively. Carefully tell us that it is possible to go to such a person or that such a person is ready to come to talk. On the Internet there are many forums to support people who are experiencing loss. In RuNet less, in the English Internet more - there are those who survived or worries. To be with them nearby - will not facilitate the pain of loss, but will support.

Help a good priest who has experience loss or just a great life experience. Help the psychologist, most likely, will also be needed.

Many pray for the dead and about loved ones. Pray to the most and serve forty in temples. You can also suggest a ride on the temples together to sort the forties and pray, read the psalm.

If you were familiar with the dead - remember it together. Remember what I said, what did, where we went, which was discussed ... Actually, there is a commemoration - to remember a person, talking about him. "And remember, once we met at the bus stop, and you just returned from the wedding trip."

Many, calmly and listen long. Not comfortable. Do not attend, not asking to rejoice. He will cry, will blame himself, will retell a million times the same little things. Listen. Just help the housework, with children, with affairs. Talk to household topics. Be next to.

P.P.S. If you have the experience of how sorrow, loss, we will add your tips, stories, and at least a little help others.