When a woman is 20 years older... Is that bad? “This is terrible,” some will say, and they will drag in the relationship of “mommy and son” here. And when a man is 20 years older? “Well, this is acceptable and normal,” you will hear in response, and immediately think: “Why is this normal? Just because it's always been that way?

Now quite often couples with a reverse age difference began to arise, that is, when a woman is significantly older than a man. There is nothing surprising in this phenomenon: modern achievements of science and medicine have abolished age, and women at forty and even at fifty can look so attractive that young men willingly turn their eyes in their direction. Young men like the combination of wisdom and preserved beauty. They themselves, quite consciously make their choice.

There are more and more such couples every year, and this trend will develop, especially taking into account our domestic demographics: men barely live to 60, and women, thanks to cosmetic tricks, get younger and prettier.

Sometimes such couples are destroyed due to the fault of the women themselves, who find it difficult to cope with a non-standard age difference, they are “tormented” by their conscience, public opinion, sidelong glances, and much more.

I want to tell you about an extraordinary woman - Anna Petrovna Kern. Yes, yes, about the same Kern, who gave Pushkin such wonderful moments!

ANNA PETROVNA KERN was an extraordinary woman! Pushkin not in vain singled her out among a dozen other of his compatriots.

At the age of 16, she was married off without asking her wishes. So she became the wife of 52-year-old General Ermolai Fedorovich Kern. She obeyed the circumstances, traveled with her husband to the garrisons, listened to his martinet jokes, languished away from everything dear and dear. Occasionally, she again plunged into her native environment, into St. Petersburg balls, where her beauty flourished, and in these “wonderful moments” she managed to captivate men. Pushkin himself fell under her charm.

However, Anna Petrovna was very well aware of the price of her secular victories. She was a very smart woman and understood what place the woman of the world occupied, and bitterly wrote that Pushkin, expressing admiration for the ladies and dedicating poems to them, nevertheless, had a low opinion of his muses. He, as Anna Petrovna noted, valued their outward gloss more than the depth of their soul. Perhaps that is why she did not seek a serious romance with the great poet. She was flattered by his attention. She was proud of the honor he did her by dedicating his poems, but she gave her favor to others.


Nature generously endowed Anna Petrovna with the talent to preserve youth and beauty. At more than thirty years old, she was still fresh and charming, and in fact, according to the concepts of the 19th century, this was already the age of an old woman. Anna Petrovna Kern at this age captivated the hearts of the young. She was thirty-six when she met a sixteen-year-old cadet, Alexander Markov-Vinogradsky. At first it was just a game for her. It gave her pleasure to see how the poor young man blushed, turned pale, lost the gift of speech, being caught on the hooks of an experienced beauty. But then a real reciprocal feeling flashed in her heart.


At that time, she was still considered the wife of Yermolai Fedorovich, but they did not support marital relations. The Kern spouses lived separately, but did not file for divorce, because at that time divorce was a very complicated and expensive procedure. However, formal marriage ties did not prevent Anna Petrovna from connecting with her loved one. She gave birth to a son from him, and this was her first desired child, to whom she gave all her maternal tenderness. After the death of her official husband, forty-two-year-old Anna Kern enters into a second official marriage. She was twenty years older than her husband.

Alexander Vinogradsky was considered a failure in his midst. He was not endowed with the talents of a poet, he did not know how to make a career, although he certainly served, but his salary was barely enough to update his wife's outfits. But he had a devoted heart and knew how to love with the love that every woman dreams of.


The Vinogradskys did not live well. Anna, accustomed to luxury since childhood, nevertheless, easily abandoned her usual life. Her new marriage deprived her of a substantial pension, which she could receive for life as the widow of a hero and general. But she chose a modest life. Anna Petrovna got used to the new conditions and reduced her needs. She never reproached her husband for low incomes, but helped him as much as she could. Sometimes she tried to earn extra money by writing, translated by George Sand. In the most difficult moments of her life, she sold Pushkin's letters for five rubles apiece. Sometimes Anna Petrovna and her husband saved themselves by visiting friends or relatives. But Anna Petrovna never regretted her choice!

“Poverty has its joys,” she wrote to her relative, “and we are always happy, because there is a lot of love in us. For everything, for everything, I thank the Lord! Perhaps, under better circumstances, we would be less happy.”

And how Alexander loved her! He idolized this woman, who was admired by Pushkin, Delvig, Glinka and even the Russian emperor. Anna Petrovna carried her crown with dignity in relation to her husband. She always gently emphasized that it was she who did the honor to the young man by choosing him, and not his eminent rivals. She carefully let him know that he did not do her good by saving her from loneliness, but she, so unique, the only one in the whole world, in fact, glorified him. And really, who would remember Vinogradsky now, if not for his marriage to Anna Kern?

Her husband fully agreed with her. In his diary, he wrote: “Thank you, Lord, for being married! Without her, my darling, I would be bored with boredom. Everything is boring, except for my wife, and I am so used to her alone that she has become my necessity! What a joy to return home! How warm, good in her arms. There is no one better than my wife. "

With what dignity Anna Petrovna carried her age and never emphasized that she was older.


Anna Petrovna was already seventy... A lot of people had gathered in the spacious house. Everyone considered it an honor to treat their eminent relative. The home concert began. Glinka's great romance "I remember a wonderful moment" was performed in her honor. The “wonderful moment” burst into tears and said: “Ah, what time does with people! How inexorable!” But then Vinogradsky knelt down in front of her, began to kiss her hands and said: “Calm down, dear! Nothing compares to my love for you."

They lived, as the fairy tale says, happily ever after, for more than forty years. Her husband was the first to die, she left this world four months later

Recently we were visiting, a married couple celebrated 10 years of official family life, they knew each other and started dating, and even more.

Wife 59, husband 39, mother-in-law 57. Their relationship began before my eyes, all the same, how fleeting the passage of time is, almost 15 years have passed since then. It so happened that I worked, and then remained in an excellent relationship with the daughter of this wife. The daughter is a year older than her so-called stepfather.

At first, let it be Masha, she was categorically against her mother’s passion for this “youngster”, although what a “youngster” he is, after all, he was 24 years old at the time of his acquaintance, he served in the army and came to a big city to arrange his life, got a job as a courier and I met her, my future wife, at work.

The future wife, let it be Sveta, held a good post and was financially independent. It is clear that everyone decided that he stuck to her because of the money and living space. Because of what and why, he began to meet with her, I don’t know, but daughter Masha could not calm down, and as soon as he was not winged, she called the gigolo, and called to her mother’s mind, nothing helped, and Sveta and the young man (let will be Sasha) began to live together.

And Masha already had a son, she was divorced, and Sasha gradually won her heart by willingly fiddling with the baby (consider it your grandson), being caring and attentive to his mother, and most importantly, he didn’t sit on Sveta’s neck, but went to study , then got a good job, and carried all the money to the family, with pleasure spending everything to the last penny on Sveta, Masha and the baby. Therefore, when the mother decided to legitimize her relationship, the daughter no longer resisted, and did not suspect her mother's future husband of self-interest.

Sasha's mother lived and lives in a small town, and so, she immediately accepted her son's choice, she was glad that he was happy and pleased with everything, and from the first year Sasha met Sveta, she took Masha's son to her for the whole summer, so that Masha could rest , and the child in the fresh air, stayed, it is clear that the first year Masha went with her son, and from the second summer she began to send one child, at that time he was only 6 years old.

So, we were at this anniversary, and it was so nice to see how the eyes of the spouses glow when they look at each other, how gentle their touches are.

But what difference does it make who is old, the main thing is they are happy, and they have been happy for 15 years, and this is a decent piece of life!

The main thing is that they did not begin to live with prejudices, and were not afraid of the hissing of grandmothers on the bench and colleagues at the expense of their age difference, they just live with each other and when you are next to them, you immediately understand how comfortable and cozy they are together.

Why this post? Yes, just how much you can be horrified that the wife is older than her husband? The couple is comfortable together, so let's just be happy for them, and don't start whispering behind our backs, today they hit me in the ears that fool B married D, and she is oh terrible, as much as 8 years older than him, and they suffered so much , that the guy with this D will disappear, she is the "old woman", she tangled up the "non-smart". And I will only be glad if these V and D found each other, and they really get a strong family, and whether this is true or not, only time will tell.

The heroes of the post have already proved with time that they are a strong and loving family, and the mother-in-law with the daughter-in-law of her girlfriend, and Masha considers Sasha’s mother almost her second mother, and her son calls her beloved grandmother.

So, real stories from life, often more abruptly than many melodramas will be.

I don't want to console you or vice versa, about I'll tell you a hundred about my communication with such a family - these are our best friends. They have been living together for 30 years, the husband is 51, the wife is 63. They have no joint children, I think everything was there, like you have: she is his first woman. But she has a daughter from her first marriage, whom he raised, because when they got married, her daughter was 2 years old. This is an absolutely amazing couple with their own world and tender relationships. Moreover, the husband has a fairly high status in the medical world, where, as you know, there are a lot of women, but this does not touch him in any way, I even remember that he was indignant last year about how to visit him at the New Year's Frokosta - there is such a crazy, purely Danish evening, before their Christmas, where all employees are required to be and various indecent things often happen, but this is not the topic at all, and so, our friend indignantly told how one of his employees, a new one, approached him and began to ask him about his family life. And his wife did not share his indignation and said that she could talk to the girl ...
But I know that she is worried about her wrinkles, tightens her eyelids, sits on the strictest diet, where she even counts the number of glasses of water drunk per day ... And she is very afraid of becoming unnecessary to him, right now, for the first time in 30 thought about it for years. But now they have common grandchildren who fully load their leisure time and travel.
Another brother from this family was even more interesting, but I'll tell you about it tomorrow, but for today I bow out to everyone good night))

"Father had three sons: the eldest was a smart kid, the middle one was - this way and that, the youngest was a fool at all".
It's exactly like the old fairy tale, but in the family of our friends, the sister also "got in." I'll keep quiet about it until the appropriate topic))

So, I talked about the elder. About the average:

At first I heard about him, about two years, but what I heard was impressive: at the age of 18, he married a woman 20 years older and lived with her for about 25 years, she was very ill in recent years, but he was with her until her last breath.
When she died, he sawed his and her wedding rings and twisted one ring from two halves, made it himself, so at first it was painful to wear, the finger bled, then everything healed - the ring is now on it, I saw. According to the stories of my friend, the late wife idolized Henrik during her lifetime, she supported him in all his undertakings, supported him until she completed her education and began to earn money herself, and there were no questions about who pays more for what, there was love - like a song, like one breath.
After the death of his wife, Henrik shut himself up in anguish and grief, all attempts by our friends to introduce him, "to bring him together" ended in failure, he played the organ (in this family, all children play instruments, which is very common in Denmark) in the church, they "nailed" him ” various parishioners, rich and aged, but none fit. He spent his time at work, in church and at home playing the piano...

After such stories, I imagined a weak-minded uncle, with the appearance of a holy fool from the opera "Boris Godunov", and when we met for the first time, at one of the concerts, where our friends are great walkers, and not alone, but usually with us and with brothers - sister our friend.
So, I was introduced to a handsome man in the spirit of Alain Delon in his best film for me, The Black Tulip, and this was the inconsolable widower. He works as the chief analyst of one of the largest Danish economic firms, is successful and moneyed, and the brides are behind him. But he, after several inconsolable years of widowhood, managed to choose from a huge variety of ladies exactly the one who turned out to be a poor girl deprived of upbringing, all her childhood squandered between her mother's husbands and father's wives. She seemed to be waiting for our Henrik to pour out all her negativity on the world around him. She is 10 years younger than him.
At first, Henrik invited Ida, that's the girl's name, to Prague for the New Year, but she went on a hiking trip in winter Norway, and our friends went on trips.

But Henrik went through a good school of family life and nevertheless achieved a girl: I remember, it was 2 years ago, we were together in Rome. We were pulling juices or water on a hot afternoon in a street cafe, when all the shops in Rome close for a siesta, a crying Ida came up to us and murmured that she was not served in the store with a gold credit card that Henrik gave her, but threatened to call the police that she stole it. Henrik silently put down the glass, took her by the hand and walked with leaps and bounds towards the store, the girl walked on a par with him, so she is a real daughter of the Vikings - 180 cm tall, and everything else corresponds, except for the nervous system.
In general, we danced around the museums and dungeons of Rome, and Ida and Henrik danced around the shops. Ida every day, when we gathered at the fountain in the center of the Transtevere district, where we lived, appeared in new stunning new clothes that barely fit on her large body, but her eyes burned with such adoration for Henrik that we all smiled ....
The story is not over yet. Ida wanted to get married and have children - her dispersal was cooled by Henrik. He said that they would live together, but, here, children and so on .... Ida was offended for a month, then returned to Henrik again.
Now the “war” has begun for the alteration of the house, which was the museum of the deceased wife, where every little thing lay in its place, how else did she put everything ...
Henrik reluctantly agreed to the alteration of the house. We began to meet much less often - Ida stubbornly "led" Henrik away from his usual and beloved life with classical concerts, leisurely conversations over a glass of wine after concerts, discussing the shortcomings and merits of various performers, playing styles and interpretations of works. Ida occasionally called and enthusiastically told what furniture Henrik bought for the bedroom, what stove she ordered for the kitchen. The situation escalated...
But the apotheosis of the war for influence over Henrik came when one of the two Persian cats, favorites of his late wife, began to hate Ida - she now took her place next to their precious Henrik.
Hamlet (that's the name of the cat) rushed at her with a hiss, as soon as she crossed the threshold of the apartment. He tore apart her new clothes with his claws, as if deliberately choosing those that were more expensive ...
Ida said:
- Or me, or cats.
Well, it's not hard to guess that Henrik chose cats...

This is how they live: both are preoccupied with their careers, sometimes they meet, Ida does not want to become a member of this family, as she is wayward and clearly knows what she needs in this life. But she also cannot find someone else, for all her bright catchy appearance, since Henrik gave her exactly that family warmth and strength of stability, which she was deprived of all her childhood ...
And these brothers still have a mother, stepfather and father ... But this is the next, very unusual story.))

Recently, there are more and more unions in which a woman is much older than her companion. Someone looks at such a marriage with a smile, someone with sympathy, and someone is sure in advance that nothing good will come of such an “unequal” marriage. So is there a future for such relationships?

European sociologists noted that already at the beginning of our century, in every third couple going down the aisle, the bride was older than her chosen one. And in the US, a third of unmarried women date younger men. The reason for this is the current emancipation of women. Most often, a woman marries a man who is much younger, when she is not at all interested in the material side of the relationship. As a rule, such women have taken place in their careers, are provided with housing and a stable income. Therefore, support in the person of a wealthy spouse is not so important to them. It's no secret that a modern woman can feed and raise children on her own, without the help of a man. Therefore, the basic instinct is freed from social layers, and the fair sex is attracted to young and productive representatives of the stronger sex.

Myths about "unequal" marriage
The life of such a couple is under the scrutiny of others, and there are many who want to devote all their free time to discussing when this union will break up. Public opinion is much more loyal to married couples in which the husband is much older than his wife. Therefore, a woman who decides to link her fate with a young chosen one will have to go through a lot of prejudices and abandon stereotypes before she stops paying attention to the age difference. Let's try to deal with the myths about "unequal" marriage that society imposes and understand that they have nothing to do with reality.

MYTH FIRST. Such a marriage is obviously arranged.
If a man is a gigolo, it does not depend on age at all. Men of this type will not refuse to live at the expense of a woman until old age. And if a young chosen one does not have enough money to pay for dinner in an expensive restaurant, and he invites a woman to an ordinary inexpensive cafe, this does not make him a gigolo at all.

MYTH TWO. The woman will become for him "mommy and nanny."
With a husband of any age, a woman begins to play the role of a nanny and a housewife. In this case, most likely, everything will be just the opposite: a young man will try his best to prove that he is already an adult and knows a lot about everything.

MYTH THREE. Sooner or later he will go to a young girl.
A man can live in an ordinary marriage for twenty years, and then go to the same age as his daughter. And there are many examples from life. No one can guarantee a long-term marriage. Therefore, it is better to just live with your loved one without stupid prejudices.

MYTH FOUR. Marriage of peers is the most stable.
Statistics say the opposite: about 50% of marriages of the same age break up. The reason is the sexual incompatibility of the young couple. The young wife is not yet ready for her husband's sexual activity and does not accept it. Therefore, families where the husband is 10 or more years younger than his wife do not suffer from such problems.

Benefits of such a marriage
Sexologists and psychologists argue that such "unequal" marriages have many chances for stability and longevity. The fact is that in such a marriage, the age of the husband encourages the woman to once again monitor her appearance, besides, the libido of the young husband is at its best, which undoubtedly benefits both. On average, the peak of sexuality in women occurs by the age of 30-40, and the sexiest age of a man is 18-25 years. That is why often an adult woman who has risen to her feet prefers a younger partner. From a sexual point of view, this is the most equal marriage that satisfies the needs of both men and women. A sexually rich life is only beneficial for a woman at any age, and for older ladies, sex with a beloved young man will help them stay beautiful and healthy longer. And most importantly, in alliance with a mature woman, a man “ripens” himself faster, gaining confidence and worldly wisdom. Young men who continue to live in marriage with their more mature wife have demonstrated high professional and educational growth before sociologists, although in such families the wife's leadership often remains.

How to save a relationship
There are special requirements for the appearance of a woman. A young husband is a reason to constantly keep yourself in good shape, monitor your appearance. A woman must always be at her best in order to successfully compete with young girls, so she tries to keep her youth and presentability for as long as possible - after all, appearance is of great importance, no matter how strong love is. In no case should you put your partner in the position of a child, no matter how inexperienced he may be. You can not surround a man with overprotection. A man at any age feels the need for leadership, so it is important to encourage leadership qualities, and not infantilism.

If a woman begins to crush her partner with her authority, takes the reins of government into her own hands, then sooner or later a man will find a less demanding lover. Do not relax, because an "unequal" marriage is more likely to fall apart in the first three years of its existence. Look for the advantages of such a relationship in stable feelings, the absence of tantrums, accusations and suspicions. You should not be jealous of a partner just because he is younger, and be like twenty-year-old girls who are ready to make a scandal at the slightest pretext. We must remember that jealousy is the number one enemy of your relationship. And don't forget that age comes with an obligation to be wiser.

There is no need to tell a man about your fears, forget once and for all the phrase: "Here you grow up - and leave me." No need to make a toy out of a man. If an adult woman reduces the whole point of marriage only to the fact that she does not skimp on financial expenses and gifts for her young husband, and in return expects only sex, then the man will get tired of it sooner or later. Without trust, sincerity and understanding, no relationship will last long.

Examples of a happy "unequal" fight
Of course, happy "unequal" marriages exist! And there are many examples of that. Princess Elizaveta Petrovna was eighteen years older than her second husband. They lived happily twenty years in a secret marriage. Balzac and Laura de Berni, who was twenty-two years older, had been together for a long time. The Prophet Mohammed at the age of seventeen fell in love with the forty-year-old Khadija, his first wife, and loved her for many years, even when he had numerous younger wives. The popular singer Claudia Shulzhenko was twelve and a half years older than her husband Georgy Epifanov. He carried this love throughout his life.

In a word, if a woman is older than a man, then such a couple is doomed to a happy future and the severity of disagreements at the same time, like any other couple. In fact, you should not pay attention to age, because human years are just numbers. And age is judged by the state of the soul and lifestyle. Therefore, look for a person who will become a faithful and reliable support in life, who will please the soul and the eye, who will be able to share one life for two. And let your age difference be big or small, or maybe it just won't exist, because the most important thing is love. And as you know, all ages are submissive to love! Where there is this bright feeling and desire to be together, there will be no reason for quarrels and partings.

Love for all ages. How often do we hear such a phrase and do not really think about it! She seems to be familiar, but when faced with a similar situation, there is bewilderment: how can a young woman meet a man 20 years older than her? Many people around do not understand such love and take it for an ordinary calculation. However, girls who have fallen in love with a mature man usually do not pay attention to the gossip of others and try to figure out what to do with their love, because it is so strong!

Young girls usually still believe in bright and sincere love. If their minds are not clouded by calculation, they can be loyal and very devoted, giving their all in relationships and demanding little in return.

A man who is 40 and over has burned himself more than once in a relationship and sees mature women as selfish and narcissistic. His need to patronize can "strangle" such adult ladies who become morally independent and self-sufficient over the years. Therefore, they choose for themselves young and often naive girls who can not only be pampered, but also taught their wits in order to finally feel like a man. Also, a young wife can be proud of others.

Why young girls choose mature men

A young girl sometimes does not perceive her boyfriends of the same age for one simple reason: they seem to be still children. In fact, there is a grain of truth here: boys mature later than girls. When a girl dreams of a family and children, a guy wants to sit in a cafe with friends or go to a trendy club with a big company. Young girls can be very annoying. If they meet a young guy, they try to control him and dose out communication with friends and going to places of entertainment. A mature man is no longer interested in such entertainment. He walked up so much in his time that he wants to live quietly in a cozy nest and with a minimum of adventures. Just what you need for young girls!

What age difference can be considered big? The answer is: 15 years or more. Such marriages have both their pros and cons. Unfortunately, this affects not only the physical component, but also the psychological one. Such relationships can still be influenced by additional factors, such as the environment or close relatives.

Issues of jealousy in an unequal marriage

As you know, the relationship of a young guy and a girl resembles a fun roller coaster or a volcano: passion is replaced by a violent quarrel, followed again by a sentimental reconciliation. A mature man is much stronger psychologically and can easily withstand the surge of hormones of his young wife. Her grievances, tantrums or claims do not infuriate her as in her youth, but are perceived with condescension and tenderness. One of the strongest problems that can arise is jealousy on the part of an older spouse, and often unjustified. Therefore, you need to pay 2 times more attention to him than to your once young boyfriend. In addition to this main problem in an unequal marriage, there are other disadvantages, as well as advantages.

The man is 20 years older. pros

1. Strength and protection. All girls want to see a man next to them who can put responsibility on their strong shoulders, protect them morally and physically, and also financially support them. A mature man is no longer an egoist, as he was in his youth. He is able to devote himself entirely to the family and do everything for the happiness of his beloved. This was laid down by our ancestors: the man was the earner, and the woman was the keeper of the hearth. Therefore, a confident and older man can provide his young wife with the necessary rear

Underwater rock. Do not think that being under guardianship and protection, you can completely relax. Such a man will demand from you a quiet life, which will consist of washing, cooking, and occasionally forays into nature.

2. Indulging whims. A mature man is a real storehouse for capricious girls with character. Today I want one thing, tomorrow another - such husbands will endure all this and easily forgive their windy girlfriend. Isn't this a cherished dream? They will take you anywhere and fulfill all your whims, as long as you are happy.

Underwater rock. A woman is a very contradictory nature, and a young girl even more so. Where is the guarantee that she will not stop treating her mature spouse with respect? Ideally, a man indulges a woman, but at the same time knows how to defend his boundaries. Only then will he be so alluring and desirable for her. If a good uncle, 20 or 25 years older than you, begins to please you 24 hours a day, you will quickly get tired of it and you will leave him again for the young and unbridled.

3. Smart conversations. Mature men are able to talk on any topic thanks to life experience. This allows them to always remain interesting for their partner. Evening gatherings together and without extra people is something that is appreciated by all couples.

Underwater rock. For a man to be interested in you, you need to pull yourself up to him a little. No wonder people say that a girl with a mature man is getting older, and a man is getting younger - the law of communicating vessels. Therefore, if your choice fell on an adult man over 20 years old, develop your intellect.

4. Social position. With him, you will really be behind your husband. It will not only support and help, but will also give your image more status. Such a man already has a stable career or business, so you are not afraid of jumping through financial holes.

Underwater rock. If you are chasing material wealth, you will someday want sincere love. And then the misfortunes and betrayals on the part of the young girl will begin.

5. Great family man. You will not find a better husband and father of children than a grown man. He will be able to keep the hearth as good as any woman, and he will also never leave children unattended. Change diapers, go to the clinic with the child, agree on a separate room - this confident man can do everything.

Underwater rock. Perhaps you, as an independent girl in our time, do not want to have children early. And here the age difference manifests itself: he is afraid that it will be too late, she does not want to, because it is too early.

6. Great sex. A mature man has a huge store of knowledge and understands what affection women like and what not. These are amazing lovers who will put the satisfaction of their other half in the first place.

Underwater rock. Such sexual happiness will not last long. When a woman turns 40, she only blossoms in her sexuality. A man who is over 60 finds it difficult to satisfy his insatiable girlfriend.

The man is 20 years older. Minuses

Instructions. He can start teaching you the mind and you will quickly get tired of it. Not every girl likes it when she talks about her reckless ideas, and a mature man just rolls his eyes and assures that this will pass with age. Girls can become annoyed by endless patronage and advice: where to go, how to dress, what to do at home and what music to listen to.

What to do? Sometimes it’s worth listening, perhaps your man really understands something more, for example, in matters of work or business. If you start brushing him off like an annoying fly, he will easily be offended and close in on himself.

Temperament difference. A mature man can be strained by your recklessness and ease of climbing. You want to spend the weekend actively, he is passive. Perhaps you will try to pull him to a beach party or a holiday of colors, but he is unlikely to support your impulse and make up a full-fledged company.

What to do? You will have to learn to compromise. Today he wants to sit at home, and tomorrow let him go somewhere to unwind with you. The difference of 20 years may not be so noticeable if you both try to understand each other and satisfy the desires of the second half.

Chat with friends. What will guys and girls call a man who is suitable for their fathers? Sasha or Alexander Semenovich? Unfortunately, trips to visit friends or joint outings in pairs may stop altogether. If you have found common interests with your mature husband, there is no guarantee that he will be interested in the company of such young people.

What to do? Do not forcefully try to make your husband friends with your friends. Nobody wants to feel uncomfortable. Try to understand your man if he refuses to go to the concert together and instead wants to go somewhere just the two of you.

Aging. A man will age 20 years earlier than you, and for him it will become a real crisis. Young at heart, he will physically feel unwell, and there is no guarantee that he will not throw out his experiences and complexes on you.

What to do? Provide him with maximum comfort and coziness, do not tease him with constant absences from home with friends, and try as little as possible to talk about the fact that you are somewhere fun and good without him. If you are ready to make such sacrifices, then feel free to connect your fate with a man 20 years older than you.

Gossip. You can't avoid gossip behind your back. It is unlikely that anyone will believe that you are married for great and bright love. The people around will see only material benefits in this, and mothers will twist at the temple. Be prepared to be misunderstood by friends, relatives and co-workers.

What to do? If you decide to take such a bold step as an unequal marriage, get ready to reflect negative exclamations and at some point not respond to indignation or barbs. Psychologically, this may be too difficult for you and your relationship. Are you two ready to endure this?

Remember that in such a relationship, when a man is 20 years older, the risks are much greater. He may stop loving you, not want to have more children and even die. At the same time, you will remain full of strength and attractiveness. Also, those around you can exhaust all your nerves.

However, do not react to society and decide what you want from such a marriage and whether you are ready to take responsibility for these risks. Not everyone is ready to agree to a life where a man's life is almost over, and a woman's is just beginning.