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Psychologists are specialists who help us solve problems, overcome fears and understand ourselves so that we feel calm. However, they are also people and, like all of us, are subject to stress, which must be somehow dealt with.

site will tell you about the quick stress relief methods used by the professionals themselves.

1. Write down everything that comes to mind

Psychotherapist, writer and teacher Jeffrey Sumber(Jeffrey Sumber) uses several aesthetic ways to deal with stress:

“When I'm nervous, I like to eat well. But it must necessarily be a healthy meal or a dish that is new to me. I go shopping for a long time, choosing the right ingredients, then carefully cutting them, preparing the dressings and slowly, with pleasure, I eat the dish. And I also often post the result on Facebook so that my friends would envy me! "

3. Tighten all your muscles

American psychotherapist Kevin Chapman(Kevin Chapman) uses progressive muscle relaxation, which was developed back in 1920, to combat stress.

The principle is simple: after any strong exertion, there is a strong relaxation. That is, you need to strain the muscles for 10 seconds, and then concentrate on the subsequent feeling of relaxation for 20 seconds.

In total, 200 exercises have been developed for all muscle groups, but it is enough to use 16. Find exercises and.

4. React correctly or don't react at all

Psychologist Susan Krauss Whitbourne(Susan Krauss Whitbourne) doesn't deal with stress, but tries to avoid it beforehand. To do this, she has a mantra that she repeats when she gets into a stressful situation. She says: "I cannot change the situation, but I can change my reaction to it."

A positive reaction to a negative event helps not only to avoid stress, but also to gain some experience, if you look at it as a test, and learn from mistakes.

5. Stop the flow of thoughts

Psychologist Martin Seligman(Martin Seligman) advises using one simple and very popular way to get the thoughts out of your head.

Clap your hands and shout “ Stop! I'll think about it later!". You can also wear a rubber band around your wrist and snap yourself with it (or just pinch yourself). Use these stimuli to stop the cycle of thoughts and postpone the problem until later, for a certain period of time. Then try to shift your attention to some unusual subject or activity.

6. Set aside 1 hour for what you love and enjoy.

Psychotherapist Amy Przeworski(Amy Przeworski) recommends setting aside a period of time during which you only do what you want. Read, draw, eat delicious food - in general, do what gives you pleasure. No work, no responsibilities, no negative thoughts, or whatever you dislike and ruin your mood.

7. Stimulate the nerves

An unusual but effective physiology-based method suggested by the therapist Tony Bernhard(Toni Bernhard). Lightly slide your index finger over your lips several times. This movement affects the nerves on the surface of the lips, stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system, and helps to calm down quickly.

8. Try different classic methods

Of course, there are classic stress-relieving and stress-relieving methods that work just as well.

For example, a clinical psychologist and author of Living with Depression Deborah Serani(Deborah Serani) When stressed, he tries to give the body what it wants. “I use everything that touches the senses. For example, I can just sit in the car and listen to jazz on the radio, paint, lie in a hot bath, or enjoy delicious gourmet tea. "

) uses yoga, exercise, or just a healthy sleep to cleanse the head.

The main principle

The main principle of getting rid of stress is to completely abstract away from the problem and from any source of excitement for a while. And the better you do it, the faster you will recover and be ready for new challenges.

What's your favorite way to deal with stress? Maybe you have your own unique method?

Reading time: 3 minutes

Many effective techniques have been written about how to get rid of resentment against a person, from complex psychotherapeutic ones to those that you can do yourself at home. The relevance of the topic is constant, because this is one of the hard feelings, and not acute, experienced by affect, followed by release, but toxic, interfering with the normal course of life. Resentment can shine through in all statements, leave an imprint on further interaction, spoiling the relationship even when the offender is not directly informed about his misdemeanor and may be ignorant and confident of a wonderful relationship.

If we analyze this feeling, then the complexity of the work is due to the fact that it is anger, aggression at the wrong attitude, unacceptable actions, but stopped by love. When you don't want to ruin a meaningful relationship or turn on active confrontation so as not to hurt another, all negativity is locked inside. She never refers to ordinary passers-by and unfamiliar people, because there is no love and affection that translate aggression into resentment.

Simple practices on how to get rid of resentment boil down to restoring balance. Basically, this experience occurs when we try to demand the attitude we are entitled to, whether it be respect, a gift, time spent together, or the absence of offensive words. To stop manipulating a sour expression on his face and small reproaches, he will have to turn on and admit to his own, which it does not receive critically in interaction, but the person himself is still of great value.

As soon as the presence of resentment is recognized, it is no longer she who controls the feelings and it can be controlled, and the more clearly it is drawn, the better, therefore it is recommended to prescribe to whom and specifically why you are offended that such a terrible person has done. It helps a lot to ascribe next to what you are waiting for to make you feel better - an apology, a gift, a change in the way of life, and perhaps you will understand that the person did not want to do harm. If it is not possible to find a satisfying path of redemption, then we are talking about non-constructive behavior, because if it is an offense to a fact, then it can be forgiven, and what cannot be redeemed cannot be tolerated. Often, resentment can arise as a childish reaction to dissatisfaction with whims, and only responsibility, and not attempts to knock out your happiness from others, fills you emotionally.

How to get rid of resentment towards people? Psychological techniques are instead of cultivating negativity inside, to talk to a person, if it is still possible. As long as you put yourself in the position of the offended, it creates a false sense of the power that you owe; in reality, mature relationships are built on interaction and clarification. Having talked, you can understand the motives of his actions and it is possible to see development in this for yourself. It so happens that different principles of communication can be interpreted differently, and the meaning was only in misunderstanding. Having stumbled upon the fact that the person really hurt you and is going to do the same further, then you have a unique chance to get out of a destructive relationship, instead of trying to manipulate it. But do not start a dialogue while the emotions are still fresh, give time for the most acute phase to pass, otherwise, behind your own pain, you only risk turning passive discontent into a real open conflict with the classic accusations and remembering all the negativity over the years.

Psychologists offer techniques on how to get rid of resentment and. Since resentment is associated with the rejection of some behavior of another, then you have to get acquainted with the true manifestations of personalities and subpersonalities, without trying not to notice what was unnecessary. Trying to disguise rudeness towards animals, then we take offense at the fact that we are repulsed, when we explain the insults at the employees by their offense, and then it hurts us from the mate in our direction - it was not a person who became bad, it was we ourselves who shoved him into the desired image and now we demand conformity.

The psychologist's recommendations on how to get rid of resentment include the following. It will be necessary to remember all the qualities of a person, the slightest, but constant negative manifestations, perhaps even write down. After a while, the list must be re-read without correction, excuses, plans for changing someone else's life paradigm. There is such a person, he will not change, and only you can decide whether to stay in the relationship, at what distance and how exactly to control the negative in your direction, but not to change the person.

If the problem is spoken out and the personality of the partner is seen without embellishment, and the lump of resentment continues to eat from the inside, it is best to work with your own feelings. They are deeply deposited in the body, since society does not allow feelings to fully respond and resentment itself is a stopped energy - all this remains in the body. Therefore, meditation practice, swimming, relaxation can be great help to get rid of physical symptoms. If there is more anger, then you need to dump more actively - sports, jogging, pounding a pear. Some can dance their emotions, others bring them out on paper in paints - these are all great ways to give vent to resentment, without escalating the situation and driving the partner into guilt by constant whining and nagging after a frank conversation.

Take control of your own activity and instead of replaying an unpleasant event, response options and whipping up your own dissatisfaction, interrupt this flow. Start doing some hobby, and not calling your partner into a conversation, see what you can please yourself with now and do it instead of waiting from the other.

When love is knocked out of us by force, one usually does not want to give it up, a person with constant reproaches is avoided in order to preserve himself, and the crying one can only be hugged the first few times, then it has a depressing effect. Mature individuals, who themselves regulate their existential needs and emotional manifestations, remove the burden of responsibility from the other and allow freedom to manifest in relationships. And it's also good to look for something to thank a person for, and the more such moments there are, the faster gratitude will displace unnecessary resentment. It's great if this can be done with respect to your whole life, then against the background of one small unpleasant moment there will be many inspiring ones, and although resentment will appear, it will not be able to completely destroy your existence.

Resentment against her husband

Romantic relationships become commonplace, the trepidation as with crystal vases goes away and here there are many resentments, both to the changed attitude and to the manifestation of some traits of the spouse that were not previously noticed. As long as you simply ask not to act in a certain way, and you are ignored, the feeling of resentment grows and can soon explode with a breakdown in relations or severe psychosomatics. The constant accumulation of such toxic negativity inside carries frustrating tendencies, therefore, it is necessary to get rid of resentment against your husband as soon as possible in order to preserve your own health, if not your family.

How to get rid of resentment against your husband? The main mistake is silence, which leads to the fact that a war is brewing inside, and a person thinks that everything is fine. If you do not voice that you are in pain and unpleasant, then you will be constantly offended, and the one who is trying to endure everything will be loaded more and more until you fall dead. Even a close and beloved man will not guess what you want, therefore only a frank dialogue, the establishment of rules can save the situation. Some men prefer not to interfere in women's experiences so much that they even ignore crying from the bathroom, believing that she needs to be on her own, and if she needs it, she will say it herself.

Dialogue is necessary as a preventive measure, but if the resentment against her husband has already settled, then it needs to be thrown out. We remember that this is stopped anger and in our own imagination we remove all the restraints. Forget alone with yourself that you love this person, scold him with all the words that come to mind, beat his imaginary face with especially strong negative, you can even write a story about his death or visualize a funeral. The point is not to take revenge, but to legalize negative experiences. As soon as the anger is fully lived through, other emotions begin to appear, perhaps warmth and forgiveness, perhaps disappointment or a deaf acceptance of the fact, but this is already the dynamics of getting out of resentment.

Resentment towards parents

There is an opinion that if you get rid of resentment against your parents, then the rest of the negative aspects will also become less, because this is the pattern from childhood that most affects adult life. Not having forgiven something to parents, we continue to demand this further from all reality, our friends and partners, while it is impossible to saturate this hole. This is the kind of resentment that everyone has in their anamnesis, regardless of how the rest of their life is going. Even childhood injuries remain bleeding, and an unbought duck can torment the soul for years, because this is not at all about a rubber product, but about a feeling of self-importance or uselessness.

It is very difficult for a little man to resist adults, because there is a biological prohibition on expressing dissatisfaction, because his life, hunger, comfort and development directly depend on the parent's satisfaction. This is how resentment is formed when a child tries to adapt and does not express aggression, but tries to get his own otherwise, through pity or silence. If the methods to be offended in each case work, then this behavior is fixed and there is an offense at the universe as a way of manipulation. So that this does not go further, does not destroy the relationship with children, it is necessary to learn to forgive the elders, this is how generic energy channels open, there is an opportunity to receive support.

How to get rid of resentment against your parents? What lasts from childhood becomes easier to let go of in adulthood, when there is an opportunity to put yourself in the shoes of a parent. So many motives become clear, and we become grateful, seeing from what gross mistakes and consequences it saved.

Think about your concern for someone, which causes a riot in him and then it becomes easier to feel all the hopelessness of parenting, when everything is done for development and only meets the negative.

Find something to be grateful for - if you were not helped, then it taught independence, if you did not indulge all the whims, then taught how to use little, if you did not spend a lot of time, then you developed the ability to entertain yourself. Any behavior gives us a chance to get something, the main thing is to find it and thank.

Old grudges

One of the difficult tasks is how to get rid of old grievances, because they have already sprouted in all spheres of life and have become an integral part of the personality. This is not something to forgive, here you have to reshape yourself and live differently, which just remains a mystery, so you need to find safety options and tune in to a long job. It is necessary to get rid of - here you can live with a person, not remember a bad event, but the slightest incident again returns everything to its starting point, returning the feeling of pain, resentment, indignation. The trickyness of the old resentment in the tightly forgotten reason of its initial appearance, only the last words or the memory of the pain will remain, and what she cried and maybe she also put her hand in - this is no longer in my memory.

How to get rid of old grudges? Devalue such situations with the help of your partners, you can ask them if they remember why you were offended then. Consider what happened from the standpoint of the present, obviously you have already changed and the people and the context of the situation, so what's the point of holding on to the old. If you use cognitive analysis entirely, it can get ridiculous about how much energy is spent on experiencing the past. Explore the part of your personality that was most traumatized by the event that the resentment still does not let go - it needs to be nourished. If you are left without support, then begin to develop your independence, and if you were rude, learn to indicate what behavior is acceptable in relation to you. Where nothing hurts, there are no long-standing toxic experiences, so figure out why this constant reminder of pain is beneficial.

What to do if a person is very vulnerable

Vulnerability and anxiety are triggers for quick resentment out of the blue. When you hear more and more that you did not want to offend, you exaggerate or wind yourself up too much - this may be about excessive sensitivity. It is important to understand that such comments must come from different people, otherwise an emotional sadist or gaslighter will instill in you that you are overly offended and should be happy, although it is time to call the police.

Sensitivity to the comments of others is born of low self-importance, because when the person himself does not understand what he is worthy, he receives all the assessments from the outside. Cunning is trying to get more praise in order to strengthen your inner sense of self, but you can't please everyone. Those who try for others soon get more and more comments, simply because they are trying to please. And each criticism is perceived not just as a bad suit, but almost as a prohibition for such people to live. You need to get out of this, looking for internal supports.

Remind yourself of all the positive accomplishments, things done on your own or with support, but good. Find out what you like, for this you can be in seclusion for some time in order to determine the food, appearance, and behavior. Review films, re-read books, very subtly and delicately listening to all the movements of your mood in order to understand which ones are yours and which ones you read in order to be in the subject. Make this list and another small one where write down everything that brings joy and let this be a guideline for you when someone criticizes.

Try to perceive someone else's statements not as a guide to action or criticism, but as an opportunity to look at the other side of the same event. It may or may not work for you, but the decision is up to you. Then there will be less resentment and vulnerability, because the person only offers, and it is up to you to take or not. In addition, evaluate situations of your increased vulnerability - a party where an ex is present, communication with a negative person, a job where creativity is suppressed. Avoid such places and it is likely that your psyche will not be so sensitive, the vulnerability will also go away if you do not constantly beat on the bleeding wound.

Speaker of the Medical and Psychological Center "PsychoMed"

Psychological dependence on another person in psychiatry has a clear definition - addiction. On the one hand, attachment to a loved one is a social factor, without which it is impossible to live in a society. On the other hand, this condition can become obsessive and take on a pathological appearance. The seriousness of the situation lies in the fact that excessive addiction can lead to personality disorders and lead to the development of serious psychiatric diseases. The object of affection can be a person of the opposite sex or a close and dear person, for example, a mother, a child. The obsessive state is characterized by total control, loss of composure and pathological craving for being around all the time.

Psychological addiction: what is it and why does it arise?

Love, care, joy and many other positive feelings are brought by communication with loved ones. Addiction can cancel out all the beautiful, turning an adequate relationship into an obsessive state. Pathological attachment and unexplained object attraction represent a physical and psychological imbalance. Scientists have proven that it is characterized by a habit that, over time, can turn into a reflex perception on the part of the central nervous system. The further development of the deviation is regulated at the intuitive level, the addict loses control over his actions and actions. It is possible to cope with such a condition only by identifying the mechanism of occurrence and the true cause.

Types of psychological addiction

In psychology, there are three main types of addiction:

  • from parents;
  • from friends and social circle;
  • from a loved one.

From the moment of birth to the complete completion of the formation of the personality, the individual is in close contact with his parents. Every child needs support that is linked to economic and psychological factors. For the first few years of life, addiction is instinctively regulated. In the future, a more subtle psychological connection arises. As they grow up, the child feels the need for personal space, moving away from the parents.

Normally, after the final formation of a person's character as an independent individual, he begins to live by his own interests. Mother and father let him go into social space. If the psychological dependence between the parents and the son or daughter is not promptly stopped, this can lead to serious consequences. In this situation, not everything is conditioned by the behavior of children. Overprotection and overprotection on the part of parents encourage the development of a young person's inability to adapt to real life.

Psychological dependence on friends arises as a result of the fact that an individual cannot independently exist in a social environment. The reason may be self-doubt, low self-esteem, unwillingness to make independent decisions. In this case, attachment is focused on dependence on the opinions of others. The individual seeks support from the outside, which he finds in the person of his friends. As a rule, such people strive for stronger personalities, capable of leading forward and taking on the entire level of responsibility. Psychological dependence in such a situation can lead to the development of relationships based on manipulation.

Addiction to the object of love is one of the most serious. It is difficult to cope with it on your own even for very strong personalities. The classic picture, familiar to many, often develops in married couples, where the wife arranges total control over the man and tries to spend all her free time with him. Her personal interests and needs for self-realization are oppressed, everything that happens revolves exclusively around her husband. Sometimes partners strive for such attachment even outside of marriage, at the very beginning of the development of a relationship.

Psychological dependence on a loved one is often mistaken for true love. It should be borne in mind that sincere feelings bring joy and satisfaction from life. Any emotional discomfort and stress indicate the presence of pathological attachment, which must be removed in a timely manner.

How to define pathological addiction?

Observing sensations and the general condition of the body will help to identify pathological dependence. It is necessary to determine in a timely manner the presence of such a state, because it is not capable of bringing positive emotions and personal happiness. The dependent person is characterized as mentally ill and emotionally unbalanced. The whole circle of his hobbies is closed around the object of desires, he ceases to be interested in social life and to act productively in the conditions of his interests. The main signs of deviation:

  1. 1. In the presence of psychological dependence, the general behavior of a person and his worldview change dramatically. He is characterized by sudden mood swings, from euphoria to signs of depression. Each contact with the object of affection, even a very short and unproductive one, leads the patient to a strong emotional outburst. Lack of communication can lead to discouragement.
  2. 2. All thoughts of the patient are reduced to the search for a meeting. Your interests fade into the background. A person begins to think as an object of addiction, even to the detriment of himself.
  3. 3. Over time, there is a loss of boundaries of one's own personality. Accumulated suffering, pain and anxiety can lead to the development of chronic stress. Positive emotions from the meeting gradually recede, the desire for total control grows. An irresistible urge to be constantly near appears, this behavior leads to inevitable rejection from the opposite side, as a result of which there is disappointment and aggravation of the condition. This situation can be described as a "vicious circle", where each new round worsens the mental and physical health of the addict.
  4. 4. Gradually increasing tension, anxiety, and possibly the appearance of panic attacks. According to the severity of the condition, the severity of the mental disorder will also differ.
  5. 5. Physiological disorders also occur. The patient begins to experience constant headache, dizziness, sleep problems, interruptions in the work of the heart, neurological symptoms and exacerbation of chronic diseases.
  6. 6. The failure of one's own personality leads to the inability to make ordinary everyday decisions. A trip to the store can lead to a state of stupor. A person is not able to make a choice without knowing the opinion of his opponent. This is especially true in the development of pathology in relation to parents or friends. It is extremely important for him to obtain approval from the addicted object.

How to get rid of a pathological condition?

In some cases, it is not possible to cope with psychological dependence on your own. This is due to the seriousness of the situation when a person is not able to adequately assess what is happening and give a real assessment of his actions. Practicing psychologists urge patients, if they suspect such disorders, to carry out self-analysis and work on their own consciousness.

Only the person who understands and accepts its presence can independently cope with the problem. At the first stages of self-healing, it is necessary to understand your position in relation to the world around you. Own worldview and circle of interests should be reduced exclusively to personal needs. The inability to transfer accents from the object of desire to oneself speaks of the inability to cope with this deviation. For every personality, self-realization is in the first place.

Personal recovery technique

This technique was developed by the psychologists Wanhold and Berry. It consists of 12 points, each of which helps to get closer to recovery without the help of a psychoanalyst:

  1. 1. Acceptance of the problem is necessary. Even if you work with a psychotherapist, it is not possible to bypass this stage. As with the treatment of any other type of addiction, the person needs to be aware of the obsessive state and a frank desire to overcome it.
  2. 2. Then the search for the cause is carried out. Any type of addiction involves certain factors that trigger the onset of the disorder. In some cases, it is quite possible to independently find and eliminate them. Affection for parents is usually fueled by their own. Here it is necessary to give up overprotection and start living in conditions of complete independence. In the case of a habit of friends, you need to understand your own personality, to achieve adequate self-esteem and independent functioning in the social environment. When it comes to affection, things are a little more complicated. A person is required to have a clear understanding of what exactly attracts him to a particular representative of the opposite sex and whether the partner really meets all the requirements that are imposed on him.
  3. 3. It is necessary to conduct a complete analysis of the occurrence of symptoms and try to open this vicious circle.
  4. 4. It is necessary to learn to adequately perceive reality, in the current situation there is no one's fault, at this stage work on one's own personality and its constant development play an important role.
  5. 5. The next step requires a reassessment of the worldview. It is necessary to stop idealizing the opponent and stop independently striving for perfection in everything. To completely get rid of addiction, you need to overcome the feeling of perfectionism, which can be imposed by the desire for the ideal. It is very important to abandon stereotypical thinking and understand your own needs.
  6. 6. Further, a refusal to manipulate the emotions of others is required in order to obtain the desired result.
  7. 7. It is very important to learn to express yourself specifically, make clear plans for the future and focus the situation exclusively on yourself.
  8. 8. You need to stop being ashamed of your true emotions and feelings. The people around, provided that they are really close and close, will always understand and provide proper support. If the opponent does not express any assistance and shows his complete indifference, this only speaks of his detachment. The addict should urgently exclude such people from their environment.
  9. 9. You need to revise your own life attitudes and direct them in the right direction. An adequate assessment of one's own opinion, emotional background, true desires and feelings is important.
  10. 10. Each person has a personal space, the invasion of which can lead to resentment. At this stage, you need to draw such a border for yourself and evaluate its presence among others. This will avoid conflict situations and certain misunderstandings in conversations with loved ones.
  11. 11. Expanding the circle of communication. He must go beyond the usual, especially from the conditions of obsession with a specific object. New acquaintances and exciting communication can not only distract from the situation, but also accelerate the process of personal growth.
  12. 12. At the final stage, it is important to feel a harmonious balance between your inner world and the external environment.

The inability to fully go through all the stages and get rid of psychological dependence on any person speaks of a pronounced form of pathology. In this case, you need to contact a specialist. He will help to identify the true cause and get rid of pathological cravings.

Effective ways to train yourself

There are other effective methods, the use of which is justified without the participation of a specialist. Many psychoanalysts recommend starting with them. In the course of therapy, some of these techniques also have to be addressed. To get rid of addiction, the following methods are used:

  1. 1. It is necessary to destroy everything that can remind of a past relationship, including photographs, symbolic figurines, contacts, gifts and personal belongings of the addicted object.
  2. 2. You need to stop communicating with mutual acquaintances. On a subconscious level, a conversation with a person who has the same ability to communicate with the object of addiction becomes intrusive. An invisible connection with the past remains. Each meeting is able to provoke a new round of relationships and bring to other thoughts and the development of attachment again, even after complex psychotherapy.
  3. 3. A good way is to look for flaws in the object of adoration. To do this, you need to write on a piece of paper all the negative aspects of your opponent, gradually transferring them from personal characteristics to a general negative impact on your own life. This list can be kept for a long time, until the arguments are completely exhausted. At first, it may seem that even these shortcomings do not really matter, but as you get rid of the addiction, the arguments will become more serious. After rereading them, the patient is once again able to realize the seriousness of the situation and decide on drastic actions.
  4. 4. Due to the fact that thoughts about a partner occupy almost the entire mind, it is necessary to find a new hobby. For many people, work is a good outlet. Especially if a welcoming and friendly team contributes to this. Do not neglect corporate parties and the offer to go on a business trip. In addition to an emotional outburst, it can also provide an opportunity for career advancement.
  5. 5. In a new life, nothing should remind of past unsuccessful relationships. Psychologists often recommend revising your appearance and visiting a fashionable stylist. The renewed appearance and the change of the image push to the desire to experience emotions that were alien before. There is a need to be in the center of attention among people of the opposite sex. For the purpose of body shaping or to improve the level of health of the body, you can enroll in sports sections, preferably of a team type. Such hobbies will not only help to change the image, but also lead to new acquaintances.
  6. 6. It is necessary to set an interesting goal or start to fulfill it. A good motivation for focusing on your own life will be the completion of a specific task, which will increase self-esteem and bring a lot of positive emotions. It is better to build short-term plans, the implementation of which fits into one year. For example, it is an exciting vacation associated with travel, or buying a car, etc.

Autogenic training

The specificity of this technique lies in self-hypnosis. After the development of chronic stress and depressive obsessive states, the addicted person is very difficult to perceive reality, is not always able to admit the presence of a problem. For this purpose, autogenic training is introduced, during which the psychotherapist imposes a new stereotypical thinking on the patient by the method of suggestion.

Key phrases contain extremely positive emotions. A person begins to concentrate on his inner consciousness, realizing himself as a full-fledged and independent person. As a result, the patient perceives himself adequately in relation to society. He reopens for all-round and multifaceted communication, is ready to accept the love of loved ones, becomes self-sufficient. Attitudes for suggestion are selected in each specific situation individually. The patient needs to repeat each of them at least 7-10 times throughout the day. In the course of treatment, phrases can change, only their positive attitude remains unchanged.

Wrong tactics

Psychological addiction can lead to serious physiological and psychiatric problems. Since such a state is often perceived as true love, the addicted person begins to drive himself into a frame and take what is happening for granted. The argument that this is the only love and that it is unhappy is wrong. Each person should remember that this kind of feeling should bring positive and bright emotions. Even unrequited sympathy should not oppress a person, since respect from the opponent is a prerequisite for an adequate relationship.

You cannot look for a solution in the uncontrolled intake of sedatives, alcohol and drugs. In addition to emotional stress, a person runs the risk of getting the strongest addiction. Alcoholism and drug addiction will only aggravate the situation. You can't give up your main activity. Study, work, personal development and hobbies should be present in the life of every person. They are necessary for self-realization.

Almost every person has some kind of restricted areas, which he tries to bypass. He knows very well that in certain circumstances he does not behave the way he would like. Something interferes with speaking, acting and thinking freely and naturally. This causes internal irritation and dissatisfaction with oneself. For example, deep down, he “experiences poverty,” and talking about money annoys him. He is terribly shy, and this prevents him from establishing relationships with people. He cannot come to terms with the loss and constantly returns to this. Emotions are boiling inside, dissatisfaction and disappointment are growing. It is not difficult to guess that in the presence of such internal problems, life turns into a minefield. Even with strict conscious control, sooner or later he is "undermined" and upset again.

To change an established algorithm, there is little consciousness; you need to edit at the subconscious level.

The technique "Tracing the fate of the image" will allow you to find the primary source of your current behavior and mentally neutralize its negative influence.

  1. Choose a situation in which you are unhappy with yourself and cannot behave the way you see fit.
  2. Find a place in the body where the negative feeling is located. What does it look like? If you relaxed enough and allowed the unconscious to help you, you will see it as an image. It can be a specific object, animal, element or abstract substance. Their shape, size, properties are dictated by your thoughts, emotions regarding negative experiences.
  3. Check the image. If you increase it, then the feeling in the body should also increase. This relationship will help you choose the right image for further work. If you do not feel the connection, then, most likely, you just deliberately fantasized the picture. Try searching again.
  4. Mentally extract the image and place it in front of you at a distance of 1-1.5 meters.
  5. Imagine that you are in a time machine and can rewind time. Follow the evolution of your image, how it was created, changed. Rewind time to the point when your image was neutral or positive. For example, the scary angry lion was once a small fluffy toy. Your feelings will also change.
  6. Replace your negative image with a positive one. It is important here to listen to yourself. What exactly needs to be done, the unconscious will tell you. Perhaps you just let go of the image, and it will fly away, or you want to warm it, iron it, decorate it. If you let go, then think of a replacement. What positive changes would you like to make yourself. It is important that your new image evokes positive emotions and is fully accepted by you.
  7. Invite a new image within yourself. Allow it to fully integrate into you, become a part of your inner world. Feel how your sensations change.
  8. Return to the situation with which you started working on yourself. Live it with new feelings. How do you see yourself, what will you do and say?
  9. Imagine that you are living with this state on. Will it be good for you? It is important not to say yes / no, but to feel it. The subconscious mind understands emotions. If you feel that a new feeling will make your life happier and more joyful, put your hand on your chest and thank yourself, your unconscious, your parts of your personality, body, soul for the changes you have made.
  10. Agree with yourself for how long you will record the result. If you suppose that there will still be changes, then say that you want to save your new state for a week, month, year. If you are sure of the final result, then you can negotiate a longer term.

With this technique, you can track the development of your problem not only in the past, but also make corrections in the future. This is especially true when the reasons for the emergence of a particular emotion are too poorly visible in the present. When going to the past or the future, the main thing is that you bring the image (negative feeling) to zero. Either it will be the beginning, where your problem was just incipient and weakly expressed, or the end, where it, obeying the cyclical nature, loses strength and disappears. In this way, in an accessible and simple way, you will get rid of many internal problems and will be able to walk through life confidently, easily and joyfully.


Material provided by the PAVEL-KOLESOV Training Center