Sympathy, indifference, empathy - these are invaluable skills inherent in the world of people.

The ability to support a person in a difficult moment makes us closer and better: it is important for both - both for the one who suffers and for the one who extends a helping hand to him. But not everyone knows how, with what words and actions to support another.

Support in action

Think about it: sometimes two words spoken at the right time can save a life. Behind the beautiful and strong facade of a self-sufficient person, deep depression can be hidden, leading to terrible decisions.

Many people around you stand on the edge of the abyss and need compassion, but they are silent about it. To see someone else's misfortune, to pat on the back, to convince a colleague or friend that everything will work out is a great skill.

But it is not enough just to notice the problem, it is important to pronounce Right words. What can they be?

1. "How can I help you?" This phrase is suitable for active, but not particularly sentimental altruists. Demonstrate your readiness to get involved in the battle for a comrade, dig headlong into his problem and together, shoulder to shoulder, resolve the issue.

Perhaps your help will not be needed, but the desire will be appreciated and will instill optimism in a person.

Support in practice is a very important thing. You can bring groceries to a heartbroken friend's house, help her with cleaning, pick up her son from kindergarten while she cleans up.

Surrounding your loved one with care, you will show that he is not alone and is loved.

In difficult situations (during the funeral of loved ones, long-term treatment of relatives, knocking out free medicines), The best way support a person - take on some of the organizational issues.

You can call relatives, consult lawyers, make copies of documents, order tickets, and the like.

2. "What could cheer you up?". Take an interest in what things bring pleasure to a person, suggest pleasant thoughts, distract from problems.

Bucket of ripe strawberries, hike in petting zoo, eating a huge pizza, going to an amusement park, buying a new dress... People draw positive energy from the most unexpected things.

3. "Do you want me to stay by your side?", “Maybe I should stay here today?”. It is harmful for a person in trouble to be alone with negative thoughts and depression. It is not necessary to sit and grind the problem in words - it is enough just to be in the next room, nearby.

4. "Everything goes and it is also". King Solomon was wise and rightly valued this slogan. Everything ends, both good and bad. Times change and bring change with them. Convince the person that you need to endure quite a bit - the finale will come anyway.

5. "What worries you the most?". Learning about the true causes of sadness is useful - this gives the grieving a chance to speak out and at the same time delve into himself, setting priorities and placing emphasis.

It may turn out that the official reason for depression is just a cover for deeper complexes and suffering.

For example, your girlfriend is worried that she was fired. It looks like she is crying because of the financial hole she has fallen into, but in fact, low self-esteem, fear of the new, feeling like a mediocre and stupid employee who nobody needs speaks in her.

Understanding the causes of depression is the key to choosing the right words for support.

6. Instead of a thousand words - silence. Be silent, hug tightly and carefully listen to the confession of the suffering. The ability to listen is no less valuable gift than communication skills.

How not to support in difficult times

Sometimes silence is golden. Especially in those moments when forbidden words and emotions are ready to fly off the lips.

What not to say, does your friend have grief?

1. " I feel so sorry for you!» Pity does not mean sympathy.

In general, self-pity is the last thing a sick, abandoned or fired person wants to feel. It is much better to radiate a positive attitude.

2. " Yes, everything will be fine tomorrow!" If you are not aware of the situation, do not express false-optimistic expectations.

It is difficult for a terminally ill person to hear your conviction that he will "definitely get better." In this case, it is worth looking for other words of support.

3. " I was fired twenty times, but I didn’t kill myself like that". Your experience is certainly invaluable, but a depressed person seems to be in a unique situation. In addition, there are no guarantees that you really got identical problems, and everyone has a special perception of reality.

4. " I feel bad too, my leg hurts, my neck is puffed up". You should not complain in response - after all, you came to support, and not pull the blanket over yourself.

A person in trouble has one consolation - to be in the center of attention, to be surrounded by care. Yes, and it looks ridiculous when you come to a person who has recently lost a loved one and complain about a cough.

With the support of a friend, lover or relative, it is important to be there even in the most difficult emotional periods.

People in grief are aggressive, blinded by rage, offended by the whole world, grouchy and critical.

Being in the same room with them difficult task but this is how the true closeness of souls is manifested and confirmed.

As well as strangers. If there was no hope for help and mutual assistance, it would be difficult for people in difficult times to cope with their problems, they would not be able to survive it on their own. Not everyone can find the right words that help show compassion. However, only your presence will replace all phrases prepared in advance.

The right words in difficult times

How to support a person with words if there is no opportunity to see him? You can advise and show mutual support by phone. The most important thing is that the support should not be fake, but sound very sincere. You can ask if you need any help. The inadequate emotional state of a person who has something happened does not always give him the opportunity to adequately evaluate everything that is told to him. In this case, the intonation and rhythm of the voice are important in the voice, while exerting a hypnotic effect on it and calming it.

They support not only words in difficult times, but also the very readiness to provide assistance and protection. Only the fact that you will be with a person next to him will add strength and a little confidence to him.

What words to support a person? There are several phrases that are customary to say in such situations: “I sympathize”, “Time heals wounds”, “I am very sorry”, “Over time, everything will calm down, everything will pass” and many others. But if a person does not feel sincerity during the sounding of these phrases, then they will not have any positive effect on him.

Choose your words carefully

Before you say something, think carefully, put yourself in the place of that person. To comfort you in this situation? It is necessary to interest him, to “hook” for a wonderful future, to talk about what kind of person is waiting for changes and new good situations. Every woman, if she breaks up with her husband after many years together, feels oppression, and that her life is cut short. She does not see anything good in the future. And ordinary support will not help her, you should apply a special plan that will help you get out of the situation.

The phrase “Calm down, get together, everything will pass” is not worth saying, since there is no specific future in it. You can talk about the fact that at this age life is just beginning, what lies ahead good moments. At forty or fifty years old, with rich life experience, it is easier to find a life partner with whom you can create a strong and reliable family. Offer to go shopping, take a look at a beauty salon while shopping, restore beauty so that the abandoned wife feels like a princess again.

If a person's loved one has died, stay close to him, help organize the funeral. Very often they help a person to bring out of despair tasks and issues that need to be urgently resolved. Say that a friend's relatives need support. If you play the role of comforter, the friend himself will provide support and think about responsibility for his family.

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It is best to deal with your shortcomings when there is support and support nearby.

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Sometimes we need the support of strangers more than our own.

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Happiness has turned its back, it will turn its facade!

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Love builds and does not break, pleases and does not torment, heals and does not hurt, supports and does not upset.

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I would like to hug you so that it doesn’t hurt you so much, to support you ... But, unfortunately, I’m just a text for you now ...

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The ability of a man to achieve success and conquer the peaks directly depends on the ability of a woman to give him the necessary incentive, bestowing her love, support and trust.

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Friends can be defined by how much they will support you and understand when you need it most.

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I can do anything because you believe in me...

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No one will understand you and console you better than yourself.

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As long as you are alive, no matter what happens, you have you.

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Somewhere it’s good… Somewhere it’s bad… You just need support… Then everything will be fine…

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If you need a helping hand, don't forget that you have two of them.

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It's impossible to help everyone. Help at least those who are infinitely dear to you.

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“The psychologist does not cry, he does not need to. Support and help - why does he need this? ”... Do you think that if we treat other people's souls, we don’t have our own?!

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If a person comes towards you with an outstretched hand, this does not mean that he intends to ask for your mercy, perhaps he is ready to offer you a hand on which you can lean.

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And even if the whole world is against him... and if everyone says that he is wrong... I will still come up, take his hand and stand by his side. And not because he is bad or good ... but because he is a part of my soul ... and I cannot refuse myself.

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There will be everything and ups and downs, the joy of tears and longing in the chest, but believe that there will be good things, you ask, please - BE TERRIBLE.

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Everyone needs support...

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A woman differs from a woman in that she does not need anyone's support. Including the bra.

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Even if it's too empty inside - clench your fists harder. After all, when you are torn to pieces, seeming happy is an art!

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Before saving a friend, make sure that he needs this rescue. Maybe what you consider a disaster this moment for him - good. By interfering, you risk depriving a friend of happiness.
And myself - a friend ...

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But there will definitely be a morning when, throwing back the blanket and looking at the sun outside the window, you will understand that everything is not so bad)) After all, it shines for you!

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Girl, stop making plans for the past, an equally wonderful future awaits you)))

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I realized the mistake, remembered it, supported myself and ... optimistically went further ...

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Very often, men need even more support than women. Where can you get it if you really need it? male shoulder and sweet words...

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Sometimes you don’t want to find out and decide anything, you don’t want to look for options ... you just need a few words of love and support.

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Everything can be overcome. If only close people were nearby!

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Supporting another strengthens himself...

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I have such friends that sometimes I'm ready to shoot them. But if not for them, he would have shot himself a long time ago.

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Real success is when you are supported by people whose eyes you have not even seen.

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Sometimes it is very important that someone pays attention to your mood! no need to console, give advice! enough to notice the very change in this mood!

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Time will tell. Just try to feel the situation. hit and develop the ability. The main thing is to gain knowledge. Support in life. It's good that you care. The comfort and warmth of the hearth provides good support.

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How important it is to have a person nearby who will help in word and deed, support and guide!

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In the end, you will remember not the words of enemies, but the silence of friends.

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It's nice to know that there are people nearby who are ready to stand up for you.

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If I need support, I will buy myself a corset.

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Difficult?! Always difficult! But if there is a supportive and loving person in your life, you can survive everything ... always!!! Hand in hand TOGETHER!!!

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If you see a light ahead, show it to those who are afraid of the dark, let them touch its warmth freezing ...

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I cherish people who are with me in moments of terrible grief, and in moments of immense happiness, but the rest simply do not exist for me!

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The worst thing is when you really need support, and you sit with your phone in your hand and don't know whose number to dial.

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Thank you, Lord, that YOU allowed me to open my soul, and now you save it by opening my eyes ...

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Wisdom seeks to support with a word, to drop stupidity.

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Nowadays, many men would rather trip a woman than a shoulder or a neck!!!

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Support is not to be found in a friend or a cigarette. In myself.

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Kind words always sound like wonderful music to those who have a heavy heart.

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In order to gain spiritual support in old age, you need to cultivate it in your children in time.

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They held hands as they floated to the surface. A good thing friend's hand. It does not oblige the one who holds it out to anything, and it is very comforting to the one who shakes it ...

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If you have nothing to give into the hands of the needy, give something to his heart. One word of support can lift a person out of the darkness of despair.

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How you want to snuggle up to someone and calm down, but all the time you have to substitute your shoulder and calm down.

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That person is valued, putting a hand on whose shoulder, you are sure that you will not fall ...

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In sadness, we become excessively proud. We create the appearance that we don’t need anyone, even though someone else’s hand on our shoulder is so important to us.

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Mom's support is the best sedative)))

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It's just great: to have in your life a person whom you call in a deep depression ... And you hang up with a crazy desire to live!

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People are very fond of reproaching, blaming, drawing wrong conclusions, but you can’t wait for support and simple understanding.

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A husband is a support for his wife, and a wife is a support for her husband.

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Happen in family life disagreements, but one should never plant each other, especially publicly, and strangers must be fought back together. Then everything will be fine!

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Everyone dreams about beautiful love, but few people understand that it does not begin with the words "I, me, mine, I want" but with the question, what can I do for you?

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Never despair. There will always be someone who can support you. The main thing is to be able to see it.

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The best gift from a friend is his presence and support in difficult times.

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Losing balance in life, a woman must quickly find a strong male shoulder - even if she doesn’t hold it, it will be more pleasant to fall)

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By supporting a woman, a man receives approval in return, followed by satisfaction.

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But there is nothing better than hearing from a loved one, when you feel really bad, the phrase: “Don't worry, everything will be fine! 'Cause I'm with you

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Giving a kind word to a person in trouble is often as important as switching the switch on a railroad track in time: only one inch separates disaster from smooth and safe movement through life.

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A friend is another wing that we sometimes lack ...

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When a wife supports her husband, spreads his wings with her love, he becomes invulnerable.

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“Mercy consists not only in material help, but in the spiritual support of one's neighbor. Spiritual support, first of all, is not in condemning your neighbor, but in respect for his human dignity.

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If from childhood you are afraid to overpraise, then after that there will be no reason ...

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“She has no chance,” circumstances declared loudly.
"She's a loser," the people shouted. “She will succeed,” God said quietly.

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How many are willing to teach, how few are able to console.

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Sometimes you sit and rejoice in someone else's happiness, sincerely, without envy ... and it becomes so warm in your soul ...

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I am depressed? No, it's He who is depressed, and I'm with you on the site :)!!!

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Sometimes the people who support us are not the ones we expected to receive support from.

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Hold on tight to the hand sincerely extended to you in a moment of despair. And don't forget to extend yours in return.

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Those who supported me when I fell - now HOLD ON - we are taking off!

Statuses about support

Every friendship has to be tested sooner or later. And often the moments when one of the friends needs help become the most important test. But sometimes it's so hard to find the right words of support...


Reason can be anything! A friend hopelessly fell in love or, conversely, broke up with a guy. She's in trouble at school, or she had a big fight with her parents. After all, she just has blues and seasonal depression. Can you support her and really help? How to act in this situation and find words of support for a friend?

Just stay with me

Sometimes the most best words support in difficult times is silence. Just be there, hug your friend and let her know that you are always ready to help. Don't try to talk to her if she doesn't feel like it, and don't use routine phrases like "everything will be fine" and "it's not the end of the world."

Tactile contact and strong hugs can replace a thousand words. Just sit next to your friend, hold her hand, make hot tea.

listen

Learn to listen without interrupting. It is very important for an upset person to tell about the problem in all details. Try not to be skeptical, even if you think her problems are trivial. What is completely unimportant to you may be fundamental to her. Everyone has their own value system, so imagine yourself in her place - with her character traits and attitude to the world. Your attentive attitude to her situation is in itself important to her.

Don't underestimate your friend's feelings. If she's worried, then it's really important to her.

Help me find the right way



Every problem must have a way out. Discuss different scenarios and think about how you can influence them. One head it's good, but two better. Perhaps the frustrated girlfriend just hasn't thought about what to do yet. Your task is to let her know that she needs to think about the next steps and look for a way out of the current situation, and not sit, shedding tears over what can no longer be changed. How can I do that:

  • Take a piece of paper and write down the problem.
  • Now write down all the pros and cons of what happened (more attention, of course, should be paid to the pros).
  • Write what can be done to improve the situation.

Once you have a clear plan, there will be no point in worrying.

Bring the situation to the point of absurdity

If you feel that your friend is ready for jokes, you can use this psychological reception: to inflate the situation to the point of absurdity so that it no longer seems so terrible. For example, a friend broke up with a guy and is very worried. Tell her: “My friend's cat just had kittens, there are only 4 of them, but nothing, gradually we will be able to find more. So what to do?! After all, you are already 13 years old! It's too late to start a new relationship! The only option is to have 40 cats and not think about relationships anymore.” If your friend appreciates humor, she will smile and cheer up a little. Well, if not, look for other options.

Distract with something pleasant and interesting

In addition to the problem that worries a friend, life has other sides. Think of ways to distract her and switch her attention to positive events:

  • Take her out to meet old friends.
  • Set up pajamas.
  • Take her to the movies for a comedy.
  • Go shopping together for beautiful new clothes.
  • Sign up together for some cool section that will be of interest to both of you.
  • Find out what interesting events are taking place in your city, and be sure to take a friend to them.
  • Give your friend a new hobby.

Remember, all means are good to distract her.

Suggest something to change her appearance

Another great way to distract and switch attention is to change something in your own appearance.

Suggest to a friend:

  • Go to the hairdresser and change your hairstyle or hair color. Or do each other.
    • Make it interesting. Change the style of clothing and try on new ones unusual images Experiment with makeup.

Don't encourage whining!

It must be understood that sympathy and support is not a meek wiping of tears with a handkerchief, but an active position to improve the situation. Yes, at first you can just listen and sympathize (especially if the situation is really serious). But then, in order not to turn into a “vest” for complaints, let your friend know that empty whining will not work with you. Discussing problems - please, outline a plan of action - is excellent, but pouring from empty to empty day after day is a hopeless task. So don’t let your girlfriend wallow in self-pity, but immediately offer interesting activities.

Friends always come to the rescue in difficult times. If this is easy for you and does not cause irritation, then you are really a great friend and you can rely on

Do not forget - true friendship is not only in the ability to sympathize and worry, but also sincerely rejoice for your girlfriend, as for yourself.

And when her blues pass, you will feel joy. After all, friendship is a natural human feeling, consisting of the joys of communication and understanding.

Have you had to support a friend in difficult times? How did you do it? Share your tips with other girls.

And don't forget to watch our helpful video about what real friendship is


In our life, different events happen - joyful or tragic. If people didn't help each other through them, it would be much harder to come out of such a deep emotional experience. We may not always be able to find the right words to express our sympathy or compassion, but it is in our power to just be there. And this presence will say more than any prepared phrases.

Words of support in a difficult moment to a girlfriend and friend are very important. They are known to everyone - “I'm sorry”, “I sympathize”, “everything will be fine”, “with time the pain will pass”, “time heals”, etc. You just need to remember that no words alone can help, calm a person. It is important that words of sympathy and support are backed up by your sincere participation.

If grief happened

If you are unable to support the person in person, do so over the phone. Just call, express words of support and sympathy. This is always very important. Most importantly, speak sincerely, ask if you can help with something? Try to speak clearly but calmly. A person in an emotionally depressed state, experiencing grief, cannot always adequately assess reality.

Remember that it is not the words themselves that are important to a person, but your sincere willingness to come to his aid. Even just being with a person in difficult times is very important. If you want to somehow comfort a person, think about what would personally help you? What kind of words of participation, consolation would help you in such a situation.

Well, for example, if a woman who was married for 20 years was left alone, since her husband left for another, she needs not just words of support, she needs a specific plan for a worthy exit from the created life situation. Here the words are unlikely to help: "You need to calm down, everything will be forgotten, everything will pass."

It is better to tell her that she is an attractive, quite young woman. What you need not to give up, but to put yourself in order, continue to live, build new relationships, create new family. Indeed, at 45, life is just beginning, the children have grown up and you can finally devote time to yourself. Offer her a joint shopping trip, sign up together with a beautician.

If the family of your friend or girlfriend is experiencing grief, one of his relatives, people close to him has died, stay close as long as possible, help with the organization of funeral events. If a person experiences deep despair, cannot adequately perceive reality, put before him a number of questions on the organization of mourning events that need to be urgently addressed. Say that your loved ones need him, they also need his help.

Words of support in difficult times are very important. But you don't have to wait for something bad to happen. Just tell your friend that you will always stay with him, no matter what happens. This simple words will remain in memory, strengthen your friendship.

How to support a loved one if failures haunt?

As you know, life is a complicated thing, it consists not only of victories and joys, but of disappointments. Therefore, if your loved one has a losing streak, you need to support him, help him survive this difficult life period. The main thing is not to get lost. But finding the right words is not always easy.

What to do in such a situation - sympathize, find words of encouragement, or just sit silently next to you? After all, people who are in a difficult, emotionally intense situation can react differently to your participation. If this also applies to men, it is better to immediately abandon the manifestation of pity.

Pity poisons relationships

Of course, a person really wants to feel sorry. But you need to understand that pity is destructive, especially when it comes to the stronger sex. Pity demeans dignity. And with large portions, it can relax a person, not induce him to action. He ceases to look for a way out of the situation, to fight the negative circumstances that have arisen. Better tell him that everything that happened is not a problem, that together you can cope with everything. Say that you believe in him, his capabilities and know for sure that he will definitely succeed.

Don't give up, take action

In order to bring your loved one out of a negative state, so that he does not give up, but begins to act, you yourself must believe what you say. Believing in his strength, without long phrases and explanations you will be able to bring your loved one out of a stupor, push him to take action.

Tell him that if the problem that has arisen is voluminous, multi-stage, in order to develop the right solution it is better to break it into small parts, and then solve each one in turn, gradually eliminating it all.

Also, never do anything for him. He must believe in himself and decide everything himself. You can easily guide him with advice. You should not relax a man, it is better to help him show his masculine qualities, ingenuity, will, strength. Do not take the burden of his problems on your shoulders. Otherwise, each time this burden will be heavier. By solving his problems for him or offering to passively wait out difficult times, you yourself will gradually turn your beloved loser, for which he will hate you when he sees that he has missed some opportunities.

If grief or any sad event happened in the life of your loved one, just be there for him. Sometimes, no words are needed. Your mere presence next to him, a kiss, a hug, can act better than any comforting words.