For those who are trying to understand what the new boss is talking about and how to fit into the team of office workers, we have compiled a vocabulary and simulated a typical day of an office worker. Career when using the following lexical units, it is guaranteed!

And to get to work, first do good summary

Translation: We've been discassis and desides for a long time to write an article about how office coworkers talk to people. Rapid career threat is guaranteed.
We ourselves are a little gat crazy.

All words are certified by office staff and their meaning is confirmed. Read article with a stupid accent.

// What do office workers actually do (and who's to blame)?

Approve - confirm

Brainstorm - invent (or just think)

Accept (submit) - confirm

Assign - assign

Approve - approve

Draft - Prepare

Reject - Cancel

Postpone - Postpone

Check in to the conference call - join the teleconference

Zaflouapit - controltear

Share link - give access to the file

Cancel - cancel

Ketchup - meet

launch - launch

Brainstorm - collectively move your brains, or, in other words, “think”

Get promoted - get promoted

attach - attach

Push - promote

Update - update

prolong - prolong

Invest - explore

Proofread - correct

Proposal - offer

skip - skip

Link - connect

forward - redirect

check - check

Understand someone's concern - I understand your concerns/problems

// How do they do it?

ASAP (as soon as possible) - as soon as possible (quickly done!)

FYI - for your information - so that you know!

Chipovo / luxury - cheap / expensive

// And further…

Assessment - evaluation

Work / life balance - balance between work and personal life

benefit - benefit

Back office - departments of the company that interact with each other, do not intersect with customers

Day-off - time off

Desizhnmeyker - a person who makes decisions

Jobizdan - job is done - the work is done

* You can call a person that if he is guilty.

Dreamteam - dream team

Case - case / situation / task

call - call

Concern - problem, "care"

Contribution - contribution

rally - meeting

Opportunity is an opportunity

Request - request

Research - research

Really - really

Staff - nonsense / things / service staff, depending on the context

Template - template

Tim - team

Tu mach - too much

Feedback - comment / feedback

Front office - departments that communicate with customers.

Egrivment - agreement

Epic fail - mistake, jamb, epic jamb

Epic fail and finish this mini-dictionary.

Read. And laugh with us :)

To consolidate a new lexical layer, we give an example that must be read aloud:

Alexey, popularly Alex, Senior Associate at International Corporation. He has been working in this company for many years and has already become a true partner of the team.

His morning starts erli. Having bought a gluten-free moccachino and an orange smoothie because he's on a detox this week, he came back from yesterday's day-of-a-day at an eco-friendly and dog-friendly open space.

Alex started chatting with teammates, opened Facebook and shared the link with the trending article “How to use new ios 9 features”. Alex's working morning began with a rally where he and his colleagues brainstormed ideas and, based on existing cases, got excited about new oppounitis. He did a rilli deep research for this project.

Then there was a conference call where various issues were discussed. Then he went to sign the contract with the back office. At this point, he felt too hungry and made a call to his colleagues, offering to go and get some snacks. We came to lunch, where we discussed his promotion, everyone was absolutely shuar that soon he would be one of the tops.

After lunch, he drafted the contract, signed it to the loer to get it drafted. Tired.

Then he realized that he needed fuminats relaxation. He liked a couple of photos on Instagram, sent a request to the client, of course, attached everything that was used for the agriment.

He instructed his new ASAP intern to invest all the risks, requested information on current problems. Cleaned up all the current staff. Prolonged other egrivments.

In the evening the office was absolutely empty and he dropped in on the boss.

They discussed his essay and work life of Belens, as well as all the concerns. Alex showed all his hard-made contributions before launching a new project.

Went home.

Sitting in his Audi, turning on a good modern jazz, he slowly drove out of the parking lot and sped up a little - the time manager says that enaf is the day's business. Time to go home.

And again, parking, townhouses, his neborhood always pleased him.

Entering the apartment and throwing off his trench coat, fashionable shoes, hugging his sexy wife and laying the iPhone on the table, he quietly said:

- Marus, is there anything to eat?

"EXPLANATORY DICTIONARY" OFFICE PLANKTON "

Having served a certain number of years, in our Mighty and Invincible, I have come to a point in my life when I have to earn my daily bread. Nothing is impossible, and if you still set a specific goal, then you can move mountains. I'm getting a job at a very reputable company. The first thing I encountered was the slang spoken by employees. They seem to speak Russian, but you don’t understand anything. You walk around like a fool and there is no one to ask. Fortunately, there is the Internet and the desire to understand this bird language. So - it turned out to be "business language". He speaks this language, "office plankton" trying to stand out in front of other fellow citizens of our country. "That's how cool we are." “We are nothing to you be “cattle”. "We are managers..."
In order to make it clear what is being discussed, these "comrade" I decided to make Dictionary words used by "office plankton" ...

I DO NOT CLAIMS THE AUTHORITY OF THIS DICTIONARY. This dictionary is compiled from various sources, and if you, dear readers, have terms and their meaning used in Everyday life all kinds of lovers of "business language", ready to enter data into the "explanatory dictionary of office plankton" indicate the source if you wish.

So let's transgress...

EBITDA is the language of money, it is a symbol of the business community. It is curious that, regardless of whether the EBITDA is large or small, the purchase of a BMW 7 model is mandatory. At the same time, the MOTIVATION, however, is different: in the first case, you have to buy a new “behu” on credit and need it to take your eyes off your little EBITDA, and in the second CASE, the purchase serves as direct evidence that the money is really earned. And to hell with them, with taxes, shareholders' shares and natural wear and tear of equipment, we will calculate them later. You need to please yourself. At least something. At least occasionally.
- Darling, how do you like this businessman?
- You know Anzhelochka, he's just a fat ghoul, but EBITDA he's just a feast for the eyes.

MOTIVATION - MOTIVATE

It is to get a person to do something useful. Therefore, it can be done in three ways. For example:
- It is best to motivate a plumber financially, you can use money, or you can use "liquid currency", but simply booze.
- with an office employee, as with a more primitive being, non-material motivation passes, something like a board of honor or a thank-you e-mail. One top manager persuaded another manager who was about to leave to work in a competing company: “Masha, don’t you understand that if you quit, you will never be able to come to us for a CORPORATE barbecue ?!”
- Finally, you can motivate, as in the joke about Petka and Chapaev: “Furmanov just motivated me, but Petka, for about ten minutes, how much did the light wings.”
The last type of motivation is the most common among leaders.

Only a fool does not learn from other people's cases. There is a direct relationship: you know a lot of CASES and know how to put them into practice - at the end of the financial year, the management BONUSES you with a case with money. You know few CASES and apply them inappropriately - and your BONUS will fit in a small purse.
- Kolya, do you remember the Pepsi-Cola case? Zero calories, all that...
- It was so…
“Tell me, why is our idea with Diet Cheburek worse?”

BONUS/BONUS

Almost the same as "encore" / "encore", only the ovations are replaced by banknotes.
- Well, what are you whining about? Did you complete the plan? Didn't do it! And if so, then "the fakir was drunk, and the bonus failed." In short, I'm sorry, but this year we can't give you a bonus.

Any OPTIMIZATION is started, first of all, in order to chop the BONES. Middle-level managers sit on the stumps of KOSTOV and mourn for the seized personal cars, free fitness subscriptions, sometimes they even feel sorry for a colleague fired for redundancy.
- Fedya, well, you know the authorities: they chop up the BONES - and into the bushes. And then I have to suppress a riot for a week. In short, I think that you need to pay for mobile phones. But fitness can be fucked up.

OPTIMIZATION

Fire as many STAFF as possible, the remaining PROLONGATE the working day, but stop drinking free tea and coffee. Replace in office toilets toilet paper, for a cheaper one, to issue punches and paper clips only according to a written REQUEST, which must be APPROVED by the office manager.
- Yes, how I live - our office has been optimized, now Semenych and I are responsible for both marketing and office cleaning. In short, I'm looking new job. By the way, do you have anything for me?

Actually English word staff should be pronounced "stef". But in Russia it is stubbornly pronounced as “staf”, which clearly hints that there is no particular difference between the words “staff” (“staff”, “staff”) and “stuff” (“material, substance”, as well as “nonsense, rubbish, rubbish ”), not at all.
- I have forty people in my staff, but they are no longer doing their job, we will soon hire more.

PROLONG

Now it is difficult to say who enriched whom with this word - sexopathologists are business or vice versa. Only one thing is clear - any business is love for money. However, the converse is also true. The longer, the better - both the contact and the contract can and should be extended, if, of course, you are satisfied with the partner's PERFORMANCE.
- Boris Petrovich, and I just got a call from the cattery, they are ready to supply rabbit fur on the same terms. Shall we extend the contract?

PERFORMANCE

Performance or performance is a form of contemporary art in which the work consists of the actions of an artist or a group of people in certain place and at a certain time.

APPROVE

It used to be a long run from one floor to another, through offices with signs on leatherette doors. Today, if you need to agree on something (and you need to agree on every sneeze), you send the authorities a detailed e-mail, and then wait a long, long time for the gracious “OK” to come to it. Or you quit without waiting for an answer.

REQUEST

Requesting something, most often links on the Internet.
- Honey, give me a request for a link in Odnoklassniki ...

SYNERGY

A drunken businessman alone cannot walk even three meters - he shakes the poor fellow from side to side. He is sad and lonely. But if he hugs another businessman of the same kind, then together they will be able not only to walk, supporting each other, but also to sing “Without me, you, my beloved, fly with one wing! ..”. In other words, synergy is when, due to the merger of the efforts of two active market members, the efficiency of their activities not only doubles, but also receives an additional increase in the form of a soulful song.

Bitubi and bitusi are abbreviations for the common Business to Business and Business to Customer formulas. The brewery sells a case of beer to the stall - this is bitubi. You buy a bottle of beer from a wild hangover in a stall - this is bitusi. You give an empty bottle to a homeless person - this is situsi. A homeless man gives a bottle to a glass container collection point - situbi. Understood? Don't be dumb anymore!

As a rule, it is held by companies for middle managers during annual corporate field trips. It serves as a natural counterbalance to corporate drunkenness - in the evening of the previous day, managers grunt to a semi-conscious state, and in the morning, at 9 o'clock, they already need to be at the training, where they will teach such useful things as "time planning", "team building" and "project budgeting". Even for those who did not go over the day before, it is obvious that the etymology of the word "training" goes back to the Russian verb "trendet".

A very civilized word. Successfully replaces the words from the dark times of tsarism and socialism - "retinue", "cohort" and "together" (cf. "presidential pool", "pool of investors").
- And Semenov and Katz acted as a pool and brought a whole box of vodka to the holiday.

POSITION

A synonym for the expression is "wishful thinking".
- Katya has a husband and two children, and she positions herself as a free girl.

CREATIVE

Three cats end up in a cat shelter. The first is a priest's cat, the second is an architect, the third is a creative director. They each give them a bowl of Kiteket. The priest's cat dumps the bowl on the floor, lays out the food in a cross, prays, eats the food and quietly goes to bed contented. The architect's cat also pours out food, lays out an architectural plan from it, moves something for a long time, thinks, swaps parts, finally eats everything with satisfaction and decorously goes to bed. The creative director's cat pours the food on the floor, stares at it intently, starts furiously pounding the food with a bowl, smashes it into dust, lays out three paths from this dust, sniffs them out, fucks the first two cats, falls on his back, and slaps his paws on the floor in hysterics yells: "Bitches! Bastards! I can't work in these conditions!!!"

(from English - Point of Sale)
At first I thought they were arguing, then I found out that this means a place of sale or simply a cash desk.
- We need to find a working POS, otherwise we will delay our Expired.

The worst word for a manager. There is no KEPIAYA, there is no% of the salary, there is - and the loot flows into your pockets. It's just a pity that CAPIAY is appointed by superiors to indicate the performance of their employees.
- Listen, I successfully sold my CAPIAY to suckers from PIGS, now I can sit “In contact” calmly ...

Just as the HR department treats its employees, employees politely call the HR department PIGS.

RUKOSEKI or PISUKI

This is how the Heads of Sections are affectionately, simply and not intricately called

The famous cannibal Ellochka, who easily managed thirty words in everyday life, did not go to work and had no children. However, in an incomprehensible way, she managed to leave a lot of descendants who now fill numerous Russian offices.

For communication (including the worker) they need a couple of dozen expressions in professional slang, from which the uninitiated reduce their cheekbones, like from a sour lemon. Which does not bother the girls of both sexes at all and even pleases them a little. As sociologists of the research center of the recruiting portal Superjob.ru found out, by interviewing 2,000 office workers from all districts of the country, a quarter of employees Russian companies they don't see anything wrong with using office slang. On the contrary, they see this as a kind of "sign of belonging" to common cause, for the uninitiated, mysterious and difficult to comprehend.

According to 25 percent of respondents, special words and expressions used in the work team "help to increase mutual understanding" because they are understood only by the insiders, and also allow "to speed up verbal communication" by shortening words.

What expressions most often make up a special vocabulary of Russian offices? It depends both on the profile of the organization and on the specialization of specific employees.

Leads the Allochkin rating Great and Horrible man named Gena. No, he is not a crocodile (although office workers sometimes behave absolutely like unintelligent cheburashki). And not even a "boy" of especially outstanding qualities of the "ho-ho" model. This is the CEO. True, he himself usually sincerely believes that among themselves his subordinates call him exclusively by his first name, patronymic, and surname. Well, let him be mistaken, everyone is calmer.

The old-timer word is "open". It is known and used almost everywhere where there is an accounting department that periodically submits reports. Among accountants and financiers, the verb "to open" ("to open") means "to check in detail financial statements putting crosses on documents" (the word comes from the Polish krzyz - a cross and has existed for more than a century, which is why some calculator and excel workers consider it already archaic).

"Physicists" and "Yuriks" are words from the professional slang of lawyers, denoting individuals and legal entities respectively. In some customer service companies, customers are affectionately referred to as "subscribers". The dining room is, who would doubt it, a "feeding trough", employees of the financial department are "dates". Clients turn to clerks not with wishes, but with “wishlists” (everyone remembers, thanks to Viktor Stepanovich Chernomyrdin, how one should deal with such wishes). There are also whole slang phrases, for example: "This manager does not approve my expences" ("This manager will not approve my expenses"), "Would you like to lather an offer?" ("Send you an offer on e-mail?") and other expressions used by the inhabitants of the office in everyday life.

True, every fifth of the surveyed working Russians - Internet users (21 percent) does not approve of office slang and says that such an Ellochkin language "detracts from the beauty and dignity of the Russian language" and "significantly impoverishes communication." "Very annoying when they use office slang or make "smart" English inserts. We live in Russia, so let's speak Russian!"; "The reason for using slang is the lack of normal words and expressions in the head, or rather, stupidity," the respondents comment.

They do not know what office slang is, 24 percent of employees, another 30 percent found it difficult to indicate their attitude to a specific office language: "It depends on who and when you speak"; "This is a normal practice - it is easier to understand colleagues this way, but clients do not always understand such a language, so it is better to express themselves in common language with them"; "He's only acceptable at work."

How does office slang affect communication in a team? Sociologists asked employees about this, at least in theory knowing what modern corporate newspeak is. The majority of respondents (59 percent) are convinced that this method of communication increases the efficiency of interaction between colleagues: "Firstly, it reduces the time for transferring information between employees. Secondly, it brings together, there is a sense of ownership, which has a positive effect on the results of cooperation. Thirdly , this is another topic for jokes!"; "People are more productive because they are on the same wavelength." "Own with eyes closed can be determined. And its own atmosphere. We're almost like a family at work."

They are objected to by 29 percent of employees who believe that slang does not improve communication between employees, but, on the contrary, makes communication more primitive: “My hair stands on end when I read the illiterate writings of some employees. Complete absence vocabulary they hide behind so-called office slang. Modern Ellochki-cannibals!"

Through the efforts of the respondents and visitors to the portal, who left their comments on the published results of the study, the vocabulary of modern office slang has been greatly expanded. In addition to the already mentioned "open", expressions such as "Okeyball, oketos" (good), "spank / stuff / score" (print / add to the database), "wind up" (call), "Glavbusya" ( female chief accountant), in an insurance company: "trucks" (those who insure goods), "collective farmers" (insure agricultural risks), "electric train" (a woman in a garden partnership who collects money for electricity), etc.

“Slang exists in any field, but everything in the world has reasonable limits, except for stupidity: if some use slang for short-term entertainment, then for others it turns into stable jargon, making up for the lack of vocabulary due to intellectual inferiority,” writes one of the commentators. and it's hard to disagree with him. But statements like "in our office they speak Russian, there is no slang and the like!" - believed with some difficulty. Maybe it's just their author - "Gene", who has lost touch with reality in his office?

At least, the author of this material immediately remembered at least ten purely professional expressions used in the newspaper at the time of its planning, delivery, various force majeure and trips to the carpet to the authorities. We have print media here, reasonable people who know the Russian language - so there is nothing unprintable in the professional language, slang and slang. From which the hair of the uninitiated would stand on end, we guarantee.

// 0 Comments

Everyone who works in an office is familiar with a particular language: Buzzwords, business jargon, corporate lingo - whatever you call it, it means the same thing: the words and phrases used in the corporate world that are not used or understood outside the business environment. Why do we use office language (office-speak)?

Office language and what it says

Managers in every field of work love office jargon. we are sure that it helps to involve employees in the work process and encourage them to work more and harder, which is why they came up with a huge dictionary of incomprehensible phrases.

  • Head up!
  • Let's think outside the box!
  • Let's go forward together!

Google shortcode

These three phrases are already so hackneyed that they are familiar to everyone who rotates in the world of business, and they are needed to set up and encourage employees to perform better, thereby increasing the company's revenues.

It doesn’t matter what industry you work in, today there are universal words and phrases that are suitable for any sector, although sometimes they may differ, for example:

Marketing business jargon

By the way, it was in this area of ​​business that office jargon first appeared. In marketing, everyone thinks creatively, creating new advertising campaigns to help sell products. Since there's a lot of money involved here, marketing professionals have begun to focus on phrases that affect creativity. At the same time, they introduced phrases to remind employees that, despite their creativity, their real goal is to sell the product to customers.

  • Blue-sky thinking is a way of thinking that is not limited by practicality, free thinking, free flight of thought.
  • The hard sell is an aggressive marketing strategy designed to get consumers to buy products right away.
  • Ideation - the ability to approach a problem with new effective ideas.
  • Thought shower - until recently it was fashionable to say brainstorm, but today many people prefer this phrase, which implies a situation when employees come together to find a way out collectively.

Financial business jargon

The world of finance is rapidly evolving and growing exuberantly, so the office language evolving in this sector reflects this. Traditionally, financial terms have also been adopted into the business world and entered office jargon.

  • Leverage - this financial term means "to play on the stock exchange with borrowed money", and is used in all business sectors in the meaning of "use, exploit", for example, the offer " they should leverage the data” means that you need to benefit from this data.
  • The bottom line is another financial term referring to a company's net profit or income - some of the information shown at the end of a company's report. In today's business jargon, the bottom line is used to describe the most important part of something, such as “ the bottom line is that we should find a new way out“The most important thing is that we must find a new way out of the situation.”

Modern office jargon

Office language changes all the time as the business evolves. The influence of the Internet and computers has affected modern office jargon. Therefore, the lion's share of the business language today is based on computer language and the words that we associate with the online world.


Nouble- expression of consent (rarely used)
Yobanarot- surprise at the volume of tasks set by the boss (usually disagreement)
Abanamat- censure of the quality of the task performed by the subcontractor, a logical justification for the inability to complete his task
Nunah- a proposal to postpone the deadline for completing tasks (used after expressing surprise)
Ditynyakh- expression of disagreement to stay for overtime work
Yoptvayu- used as a supplement (strong) argument in the proposal to move the deadline
Etpesdetz- used when communicating with colleagues when discussing the state of affairs (constantly)
Avoth*y- used when communicating with the boss (behind the eyes)
Nehubl- universal phrase: used both as a meditation and to express your final position when communicating with your boss

Ahulshol- an expression of surprise at the position of the boss, who does not fully understand the essence of the issue / task (usually a question)

Nutakyobt- a satisfied statement when the boss nevertheless figured out the essence of the issue / task with your help and agrees with you

Give the dough nah - a complex expression, used in cases where the boss is trying to replace the remuneration for overtime work with a tour at your expense, a free lunch in a public canteen, a single card for half a month, etc. (pronounced with a threat)

Nuyobtot- an exclamation expression, used both in a satisfactory and unsatisfactory solution of sluggish cases

Yopsyorot- expression of dissatisfaction - used in cases when you incorrectly solved the task and followed the sanctions of the authorities

Mudouble- unsatisfactory characteristics of a colleague / boss (more often the latter)
Yaibu- used as an answer to the boss to his question about the status / stage of solving the problem assigned to your colleague (pronounced in an interrogative tone)

Nutyblya- an expression of admiration, delight about the professionalism of a colleague / boss (in the latter case, actually outdated)

The bosses also have their own jargon. In order for the subordinate to understand what is required of him, he should learn THIS:

Bystrany- the most approximate deadline for completing the task (as a rule, on the verge of a realistically possible one).
Urgently- logical motivation for approaching the deadline. It is used to at least force the subordinate to meet the fast countries.

Where the fuck- a delicate reminder of the expiration of the time allotted for solving a particular issue. It is usually used at the end of a quick country and immediately before an emergency. In the event that urgent is initially, where it is recommended immediately after setting the task.

you ibu- an explanation to the subordinate of the consequences of not completing the task after several gigabytes. Correct, respectful treatment. The etymology of the word Ibu is poorly understood (preferred mythical animal), however, in modern. Russian lang. there is practically no combination of this word with the pronoun "You".

Nusebella is a fairly generic term. In the usual sense, a statement of the fact that the task was not completed on time. Besides, this term depending on your mood, it can mean: deprivation of bonuses, reprimand, signing or not signing an important contract, the appearance of an inspector of the Inspectorate of the Inspectorate, disruption of supplies, the end of the working day, ending the discussion during the planning meeting and declaring the company bankrupt with the immediate dismissal of employees without severance pay.

Shosacher- an indication to the employee of the excessive complexity of the memo or its overload with numbers.
Netbablanakh- the etymology of the word clearly indicates the origin of the term in the top management environment network marketing. Is the most appropriate and appropriate response to "Daibablan" in almost all cases. In exceptional cases, given the special value and indispensability of the subordinate or the seriousness of the situation, as well as on Fridays, it is allowed to expand the phrase to "Netbablanahzavtranah". See also "Children".

Where is the bubble!!! - When do we expect the next receipt on the current account? Why are payments from customers being delayed?
tomorrows- a universal response to any request of a subordinate. Daily breakfast strengthens the belief of subordinates in the immutability of your principles and the stability of the company.

Urrodyblya Hello, let's start planning. Before use, it will be appropriate to carefully look at the audience.
Tibenipoh? - an indication to the subordinate of the inappropriateness of his question or of excessive curiosity.
Nissyblin- "Dear chief accountant, this payment of $300,000 to the offshore has been agreed with the shareholders."
Nibzdi- parting words to the manager before a difficult business trip. It is recommended to use by persons with a rank not higher than the head of the department.

Atynakh Tutsidish- 1. I'm busy and I won't be able to receive you now. or
2. The optimal response to the head of the department, who came with a complaint about his subordinates or their work overload. In addition, in exceptional cases, it is allowed to use individual vocabulary items from the dictionary of subordinates. However, it must be borne in mind that the semantic load of the same words is very different, and often diametrically opposed to the semantic load that this term carries when used by subordinates:

Nouble- almost complete satisfaction with the result of the work of a subordinate (rarely used, it is better not to use it more).
Ditynyakh- the impossibility of giving a subordinate a vacation or a bonus. (Note: it is also advisable to use it in combination with Netbablanah).

Avotx@y- unwillingness to give a subordinate vacation or bonus.