Guest article.

Death loved one- this is always a serious test for those who remain to live. And only at these moments we are faced with some special rules and events that we do not think about in ordinary life. For example, only after the departure of someone familiar or native people think about what 9 days and 40 days after a person's death means. Also a significant date is 3 days from the date of death.

Interpretation in terms of religion

If we turn to Orthodoxy, we learn that the human soul passes long haul before he calms down. Immediately after death, she is next to the body. This, for example, explains why the dead cannot be left alone at night. One of the close people always remains near the coffin - and most often several people at once. Three days later, the soul of the deceased goes to heaven - there she will stay until the ninth day, and then she will appear before the Lord. The next stage is an acquaintance with hell and torment, which are intended for sinners.

The soul, being in hell for up to 40 days, is filled with fear, and for it this is a serious test. This period is much longer than nine days. This is due to the fact that hell itself is much larger, because it is believed that there are very few sinless people. Getting to know this place takes a long time. That is why for 40 days it is very important to pray for your loved one, to ask God for the remission of sins, for forgiveness. After forty days, the soul again appears before the Lord, and at this moment a decision is made where it will go finally - to heaven or hell. There the soul will remain until the Last Judgment - until the moment when the new world comes.

Speaking of heaven and hell, we mean conventional concepts - although religion describes these places, it cannot be said that there are reliable sources that tell one hundred percent how everything works. We just know that the third, ninth and fortieth days from the day of death are critical milestones that relatives and friends should pay a lot of attention to. You need to go to church, to the cemetery, you need to pray a lot and in every possible way help the soul to go through this path easier.

Traditions associated with nine and forty days after death: what prohibitions must be observed

If you study the traditions that are formed in a variety of settlements, it turns out that they are fundamentally different from each other. Most of them have nothing to do with religion and are not confirmed by books or other documents. Let's figure out what is forbidden to do in different traditions, and whether it is worth strictly following these rules:

  • Watch TV, listen to music. The ban on TV and music is due to the fact that these activities are associated with entertainment. But it all depends on what you listen to and watch. News, educational programs, as well as Christian channels are not prohibited. This ban can be maintained for no more than 9 days.
  • Arrange holidays and celebrations for 40 days. It happens that birthdays, anniversaries and other holidays fall into this period. The Church does not prohibit the celebration of such a plan - they just need to be quiet, without noisy parties. It is better to choose a family format.
  • Cover mirrors and all reflective surfaces in the home. It is believed that the soul can be reflected in such surfaces and get stuck between the two worlds. The Church also does not speak of such a rule, but among ordinary people the tradition is very strong. If you believe in it, you can keep this rule for 9 days. You can safely refuse this rule - all reflective surfaces can be opened as soon as the coffin with the deceased leaves the room.

Also, contrary to many superstitions, after the funeral, you can clean the house, wash, cut your hair, distribute the things of the deceased to those in need, and even make repairs.

All the rules that relate to the period up to 40 days after death are related to praying and avoiding excesses, too noisy fun. Otherwise, you can only observe what you yourself really believe in.

The ninth and fortieth days after death are considered taking into account the day the person died (even if it happened late in the evening).

Please explain what the 3rd, 9th and 40th days after the death of a person mean. What is going through and where is the soul of the deceased these days?

Priest Afanasy Gumerov, a resident of the Sretensky Monastery, answers:

Our earthly existence is a preparation for the future life: “it is appointed for men to die once, and then judgment” (Heb. 9:27). Post-mortem experiences testify that, freed from bodily stoutness, the soul becomes more active. The trials that she undergoes immediately after separation from the body are of a spiritual and moral nature. All that she did good and bad remains. Therefore, for the soul, from the very beginning of the afterlife (even before the Judgment), joys or sufferings begin, depending on how it lived on earth. The Monk John Cassian writes: “The souls of the dead not only do not lose their feelings, but they do not lose their dispositions, i.e. hopes and fears, joys and sorrows, and some of what they expect for themselves at the universal judgment, they already begin to anticipate, contrary to the opinion of some unbelievers, that after the exodus from this life they are destroyed into nothing; they become even more alive and zealously cling to the glorification of God” (Conversation 1, ch. 14). In the first two days, freed from the mortal body, the soul enjoys freedom and can visit those places on earth that were dear to her. But on the third day it falls into other areas. A revelation given by an angel to Saint Macarius of Alexandria (he died in 395) is known: “When an offering takes place in the Church on the third day, the soul of the deceased receives relief from the angel guarding it in sorrow, which it feels from separation from the body; receives because the doxology and offering in the Church of God has been completed for her, which is why a good hope is born in her. For in the course of two days the soul, together with the angels who are with it, is allowed to walk the earth wherever it wishes. Therefore, the soul that loves the body sometimes wanders around the house in which it was separated from the body, sometimes around the tomb in which the body is laid.<...>And the virtuous soul goes to those places where it used to do the right thing. On the third day, He who rose from the dead on the third day - the God of all - commands, in imitation of His Resurrection, to ascend to heaven for every Christian soul to worship the God of all. So it is the custom of the good Church to make an offering and prayer for the soul on the third day. After worshiping God, He is commanded to show the soul the various and pleasant abodes of the saints and the beauty of paradise. All this is considered by the soul for six days, wondering and glorifying the Creator of all this - God. Contemplating all this, she changes and forgets the sorrow she had while in the body. But if she is guilty of sins, then at the sight of the pleasures of the saints, she begins to grieve and reproach herself, saying: “Alas!” to me! How I fussed in that world! Carried away by the satisfaction of lusts, I spent most of my life in carelessness and did not serve God as I should, so that I could also be rewarded with this goodness.<...>After considering all the joys of the righteous for six days, she again ascends by angels to worship God. So, the Church does well, making services and offerings for the deceased on the ninth day. After the second worship, the Lord of all again orders the soul to be taken to hell and show it the places of torment located there, the different sections of hell and the various wicked torments.<...>Through these various places of torment the soul rushes about for thirty days, trembling, lest it itself be condemned to imprisonment in them. On the fortieth day, she again ascends to worship God; and then the Judge determines a decent place for her in deeds<...>So, the Church is doing the right thing, making commemoration of the departed and those who received Baptism ”(St. Macarius of Alexandria. A word on the outcome of the souls of the righteous and sinners ..., - “Christian Reading”, 1831, part 43, p. 123-31; “How to conduct soul for the first forty days after leaving the body, M., 1999, pp. 13-19).

Who came up with these reminders? Why celebrate 9 and 40 days after death? Why is this tradition followed? modern people? Published on the web portal

The version of the servants of the Sretensky Monastery. How do they interpret the commemoration on the 9th and 40th day:

On the ninth day, the deceased is commemorated in order to honor the honor of 9 orders of angels, who, being the servants of the King of Heaven and our representatives to Him, intercede before Him for mercy on the deceased person. It is believed that from the third to the ninth day, the soul of the deceased resides in heavenly abodes, where it: Forgets past grief that she had to leave the body and the ordinary world .. Realizes that she served God so little while on earth, reproaches herself for this is grieving. On the ninth day, the Lord sends Angels to bring the soul to worship. Before the throne of the Lord God, the soul trembles and is in great fear. The Holy Church at this time, in prayers for the deceased, asks the Almighty to decide on the acceptance of the soul of his child. From the 9th to the 40th day, the soul goes to hell, where it observes the torment of sinners who do not deserve forgiveness, and trembles with fear. That is why it is so important to spend the ninth day in remembrance and prayers for the departed. Why is the 40th day after death celebrated? The history and giving of the Church say that 40 days is the period necessary for the soul to prepare to receive help and a Divine gift from the Heavenly Father. Angels show the soul hell, in which the souls of unrepentant sinners suffer in torment. On the 40th day, getting to the Lord for the third time (the first time the soul falls on the 3rd day), the soul receives a sentence: a place is appointed in which it will stay until the Last Judgment.

There are many such inventions. In the works of scientific content, the justification for remembering 9 and 40 days after death simply does not exist. This mention is not even in the most authoritative spiritual source- Bibles.

Prayer for the dead is not a biblical concept. Our prayers have nothing to do with someone who has already died. The reality is that at the moment of death, the eternal fate of a person is finally determined. Either he is saved through faith in Christ and is in heaven, enjoying peace and joy in God's presence, or he is tormented in hell. The story of the rich man and the poor Lazarus provides us with a vivid illustration of this truth. Jesus used this story to teach us that after death the unrighteous are forever separated from God, that they remember their rejection of the gospel, they are tormented and their condition cannot be changed (Luke 16:19-31).

The writer of Hebrews says this: “As a man is destined to die only once, and then judgment” (Hebrews 9:27). From this text we understand that no changes spiritual state of a person are impossible after his death - neither by himself, nor through the efforts of others.

So, to adhere to these empty legends is simply stupid. Don't be stupid.

Wake (9 days) - the next mandatory step after the burial. Although it originated in Christian religion Everyone follows this tradition. So how to hold a wake for 9 days? What are the features of the ritual?

memorial service

If the deceased was a Christian, then you must definitely go to the temple. It's believed that

at this time, the soul can still visit the places of its earthly habitat. She completes the work that a person did not have time to do during his lifetime. Saying goodbye to someone, asking for forgiveness from someone. The prayer service, held at this time according to all church traditions, helps to calm the soul, its union with God.

It is desirable that the commemoration (9 days) and relatives begin with an appeal to the Lord. In a short prayer, one should ask the Almighty for the forgiveness of all the sins of the deceased, placing him in the Kingdom of Heaven. It has always been part of the ritual. In the temple candles are lit for the remembrance of the soul. There is a special place for this. If you do not know, then consult with a temple minister. But usually you can determine it yourself. The platform for has a rectangular shape (all others are round). Nearby there is a printed text of the prayer. Don't be lazy, read it.

What does the wake of 9 days mean?

In Christianity, the path of the soul to the Lord is described in sufficient detail. So, the first days the Angels show her what life is like in Paradise. The ninth is the time, so to speak, of the exam. The soul appears before the Lord, who defines it further fate. It is believed that sinners are afraid and tormented, finally realizing how mediocre they are.

wasted their energy. The righteous may also suffer from ignorance whether they will life path approved by the Lord. Help for the soul of the deceased is essential during this period. Relatives with their prayers can help her purify herself and get a “pass” to Paradise.

In Christian traditions, commemoration of 9 days is considered very important, since this is the last duty that completes the stage of the earthly existence of the soul. After the Lord determines her to Heaven or Hell, the living will practically not be able to help her. The clergy say that 9 days is almost a holiday! Since at this time the soul finds its shelter. It is imperative to pray for her stay in that world to be comfortable.

memorial dinner

A trip to the cemetery is mainly for the closest people. And those who want to express their respect for the deceased and members of his family are invited to spend it modestly. Prepare the first, second and compote. AT

Christianity does not accept any snacks and salads, nor alcohol. Traditions with a hundred grams and a slice of bread arose in very difficult times, when there was no other way to relieve tension. Now there is no need to drink alcohol at the wake, and it does not welcome.

Of the "excesses" only pastries are allowed. So, they usually make pies or buns and serve them to the table. Everything should be calm and modest. This is not an indicator of poverty. Rather, this demonstrates the recognition of the frailty of everything physical before the spiritual. At the table, everyone is given the floor to express their grief, share the confidence that the soul will go to Paradise, just remember the person who recently left this world.

Funeral treat

But not everyone is satisfied with lunch now. Someone does not have enough time, others do not want extra trouble. The Church does not insist on the firm observance of this particular tradition.

It is quite permissible to replace a joint meal with a treat. What it is? It is necessary to prepare such food, which is appropriate and convenient to treat people without an invitation to the house, and so hold a commemoration for 9 days. What are they handing out? Usually cookies and sweets. The easiest option is to buy what you need in the store. It is recommended to bake pies or cookies on your own. It is believed that by such actions you express greater respect for the deceased. You can distribute cooked food at work, in the yard to grandmothers and children.

How to calculate the required time?

People often get confused with this. It is best to turn to the Father, who He will help you figure out the dates, tell you what day to celebrate. Due to the importance for the soul, you need to know exactly when to hold a wake for 9 days. How to count yourself? The first day is considered the day when the person died. From him, and you need to count. From the moment of death, the soul begins its journey through the Kingdom of Angels. She needs help on the ninth day (and before that). Do not miss any deadlines, even if death occurs before midnight. The first day is the date of death. Important then are the third, ninth and fortieth days. You need to calculate them immediately and write them down so as not to forget. These are the dates that must be noted.

Who is invited to the funeral

Family members and friends are the people who should definitely participate in the sad meal. They themselves know it. Souls demand to meet and support

each other in grief. But a commemoration 9 days after death is an event that people come to without an invitation. It is not customary to drive away someone who wants to take part in it, even if they are completely strangers. The logic is this: the more people begin to pray for the salvation of the soul of the deceased, the easier it is for her to get to Paradise. Therefore, to drive someone away is unacceptable, even sinful.

Try to eat as much as you can more people. And if it is not necessary to invite everyone to a memorial dinner, then sweets can be distributed to everyone you meet that day. Strictly speaking, it is not accepted to invite to the event. People themselves should ask when it will take place (and in general, is it planned or not). For convenience, the organizers most often take responsibility themselves and call everyone who has shown a desire to commemorate the deceased.

Is it necessary to visit the cemetery?

Strictly speaking, the commemoration of 9 days does not include such a trip in the list of indispensable events. The Church believes that mortal remains that do not have special significance. A trip to the temple, prayers are welcome. But usually people themselves want to visit the place of the last shelter of a dear person. Flowers and sweets are brought there. Thus, as if paying tribute to the deceased. But it's more important for

the living than for the dead.

In no case should you carry alcohol to the cemetery. This is strictly prohibited by the Church! If you decide that you definitely need to visit the cemetery on this day, then take care of the appropriate clothing. Outfits should be modest, not flashy. The presence of mourning symbols is also desirable. Women tie mourning scarves. Men may wear dark jackets. If it is hot, then black scarves are tied on the left forearm.

How to prepare the house for the wake?

On this day, lamps are lit, and a photograph of the deceased with a mourning ribbon is placed in a prominent place. You don't have to close the mirrors anymore. This is done only while the body is in the house. Naturally, on this day it is not customary to turn on music, watch funny films and programs.

Before the icon, you can put a glass of water and bread as a sign of helping the soul, who is on a journey through the still unknown world. It is desirable that the atmosphere of severity reigned in the house. If you invite people to dinner, then take care of their comfort. Carpets are usually removed from the floor so that you can walk around the house in shoes. It is also necessary to put a small vase or plate near the photograph of the deceased. That's where the money will go. This is done when a lot of people come, including strangers for the household. They may wish to donate some money to the monument. And giving money to relatives is not always convenient.

Every person who has experienced loss close relative or a friend, tries to arrange a wake according to all the rules and canons of the Orthodox Church.

It is generally accepted that up to a year the soul of the deceased explores heaven and hell, and during this time a place is selected for it according to the life lived and according to how the living mourn and remember it. Therefore, the wake of 9 days, the rules for which every Orthodox should know, are of particular importance.

The meaning of the date in Orthodoxy

In Orthodoxy, it is customary to celebrate the third, ninth, fortieth days and anniversary after the death of a person. But some peoples do funeral dinners for six months. Each of these days has its own special, sacred meaning, which every Orthodox person should know.

On the ninth day after death, the soul just ends its earth path. She is looking for a way to new life. And if the third day is considered to be the beginning of the afterlife, and the fortieth - its end, then the ninth is the most important time in the posthumous journey of the soul.

The number 9 is considered sacred in Orthodoxy. It is this number of angelic ranks that exists in the hierarchy. Therefore, memorial prayers on this day are read not only for the soul of the deceased, but also for these angels to protect it at God's judgment.

Until the third day after death, the soul of the deceased is accompanied by his guardian angel b. After that, he goes to explore the paradise. Still not knowing where it will go, the soul of a person can look around Heaven and Hell and find out what awaits him next.

On the 9th day after death, the Lord orders the angels to bring the soul of the deceased to himself. It is on this day that she will appear before the face of the Lord and learn that she will have to go to explore Hell. And by the fortieth day, heavenly judgment will await her.

It is on this day that the soul of the deceased must be tested together with the guardian angel. If she manages to come out of them clean and undefiled, then the scales of justice will lean towards good.

Importance for the deceased

For the soul of the deceased, the ninth day after death is extremely important. After all, at this time he is preparing to find his permanent home. Therefore, it is extremely important for relatives to try to let go of the soul of the deceased and commemorate him with prayers, and not with tears and lamentations. Of course, it is impossible to completely forget the deceased and the pain that followed his departure. But it is worth trying to calm your soul and let go of your loved one.

Prayers for the repose of the soul are also read because on this day she appears before the Lord for the first time. And the commemoration helps the soul to cope with the fear of the Almighty and go further without regret and fear.

On this day, it is customary to pray that the soul of the deceased be numbered among the angels. So, a deceased relative can become the guardian angel of a person who prays for him. After all, it was not in vain that the pagans also believed that the spirits of the dead are always there and help the living.

Memorial day traditions

According to the traditions of Orthodoxy, it is necessary to prepare a funeral dinner, which belongs to the cemetery. Also, close relatives go to church and light candles for the repose of the soul of the deceased and order a commemoration and reading a prayer. traditional dishes are:

  • kutya;
  • jelly;
  • pancakes and pies.

Kutya is made from wheat with sugar or honey. But modern people often make it from rice. Each grain represents the birth of a new life. It represents the rebirth of the human soul in the afterlife or after incarnation. Sugar, honey or jam, which are added to kutya, are a symbol of the sweetness of the afterlife. The prepared dish must be sprinkled with holy water or consecrated in the church.

Compote and jelly should also be on the memorial table. Often pancakes are carried to the cemetery, with which the deceased is commemorated. Fish dishes are also recommended to be placed on the table, at which relatives and friends of the deceased will sit.

Knowing what they commemorate for 9 days of the deceased, it will not be difficult to set the table. Very often, the usual borscht is served for the first course. It is the most popular dish.

As they commemorate on the 9th day after death, a church minister can also tell. But it should be remembered that this day is uninvited. That is, guests are not invited to remember the soul. Anyone who knew the deceased or attended the funeral can come.

The main prayer for 9 days after death, which is read at the table in the first place, is “Our Father”. It is allowed to read it aloud or to oneself, thinking about the deceased person. Only after that is it allowed to serve the first memorial dish - kutya. Putting alcohol on the table is strictly prohibited. Drinking alcohol is a sin that will not bring peace to the deceased. Therefore, it is forbidden to carry them to the cemetery or drink at the table during the commemoration.

Do not cook too many dishes. After all, gluttony is also a great sin. What is important here is not eating food, but the fact that loved ones gathered at the same table to commemorate the soul of the deceased. And if after the feast there are food or dishes left, then they should not be thrown away. It is necessary to distribute food to the poor or simply needy people.

It is strictly forbidden to have fun, laugh and sing songs at the table. Also, one should not remember the deceased with bad words and remember all his misdeeds in life. You need to do the following:

  • remember all the best about him;
  • say only nice things about the deceased.

After all, until the fortieth day, a decision will be made about where the soul of the deceased will go, and what the living remember about him will be taken into account.

At the funeral table, women are supposed to be with their heads covered and their hair tied up. Today, only the closest relatives wear headscarves. And men need to take off their hats at the entrance to the house.

Rules for relatives

Knowing what the relatives of the deceased are doing for 9 days after death, many mistakes can be avoided. So, it is imperative that relatives go to church, and not only put candles for the repose, but also order a prayer service. You should also pray in front of the icon for the mercy of God and the help of the Heavenly Defenders. Praying is also allowed near the home icon, but a prayer service must be ordered.

At lunch, you should visit the grave of the deceased. You need to put things in order on it, remove garbage and bring flowers and wreaths. In an icon lamp near a cross or a monument, it is imperative to light a candle. You should not talk about extraneous topics near the grave, it is better to talk about the deceased or read a prayer.

Memorials should not be held at the cemetery. In no case should you drink alcoholic beverages, and even more so put vodka in a glass near the grave. This will not bring anything good to the soul of the deceased. It is allowed to leave a lunch of sweets, pancakes and kutya. In most cases, those foods and dishes that are put on the table during the wake are brought to the grave.

Be sure to give alms to the poor and needy so that they can remember the deceased. For this, either the products remaining after the commemoration or money are used..

In the house where the commemoration is held, one should light a lamp or a candle near the photograph of the deceased. Veils from mirrors are allowed to be removed immediately after the commemoration. They remain only in the room of the deceased.