Many of us do not notice that we are starting to look for ourselves from the cradle. Favorite toys, games and so on. This is why most girls play with dolls and boys play with cars.

But there are exceptions, for example, the girl is not interested in dolls, she plays races with the boys, perhaps her future begins here. In the old days, there were many women combiners and drivers. Women went to war alongside men.

Also, boys, if a child plays with dolls, and not with friends in shooting games, they often laugh at him. Or he spends hours with his mother, who cooks in the kitchen, and not with his father in the garage near the transport. And he may be looking for himself from such an extraordinary side. Perhaps these are future fashion designers, stylists, hairdressers and chefs.

The character and hobby of the child is formed in the period from six months to a year. For a long time there is such a funny rite, which is carried out on the day of baptism. Several things are put in front of the child. This is money, weapons, a book and some kind of object of labor. What it is drawn to, there it is and its purpose. Stupidity, you might think, but no, the child's soul and thoughts are still pure and not cluttered with prejudices, so this is the choice of the heart.

No feminine and male professions... Each person is obliged to do what his consciousness aspires to. There is no need to forbid the child to do what he likes. Help your child in his endeavors. There are many sections and circles for this. When punishing a child for poor grades, think, perhaps, this is simply not what he needs. At school all the time, teachers are talking about the need exact sciences, making a bias on them. This is also wrong, not everyone is to be scientists and mathematicians.

How to find yourself in adulthood

For each of us, one day, there comes a time when it is necessary to be determined in life. Whether it's a profession, hobby or family. But how to find yourself in life? Where to start and how not to make a mistake? First you need to think about exactly how you want to live your life. Set goals and priorities. This should be a mature and deliberate decision. And most importantly, only your personal. The mistake of most parents is that they supposedly know how it will be better. They force the younger generation to choose the most demanded professions. Thinking about how to find a job with a high salary later and not wondering if the child likes this profession. Highly great importance has our surroundings. It may not help to find oneself in life, but it does help to acquire habits. We copy those with whom we communicate, we spend time. Like a saying: "tell me who your friend is and I will tell you who you are." Tobish, if the environment suits your interests, it will be easier to reach your potential.

Also with the choice of the second half. We listen to the opinions of others and live by the herd instinct. It is not customary to marry, and then build a career, we do not marry. It is not customary to give birth to children, and then build a personal life, we do not give birth. Little by little pushing into the background your interests and desires. And according to statistics, there are ninety percent of such people. All these people are unhappy. Have you ever felt that you are not living your life or that you have taken the wrong road somewhere? At what point did this happen, who is to blame? How can a person who works as a lawyer be happy if he dreams of painting? Not at all, because you and only you have to choose. To begin with, what needs to be done is to overcome your fears and embarrassment. Nobody said that it would be easy, for happiness you need to fight. It's never too late to start changing your life for the better.

We start living after forty

It's never too late to start over. But this is especially difficult. According to psychologists, this is the second transitional age in a person's life. It is at this age that life seems to be over. Everything that needed to be done has already been done and there is nowhere to move on and there is no need. It seems that we live like robots, every day the same thing. Home, family, work, problems and only occasionally a short rest. And if you wanted to change, then how to find yourself in life?

Let's look at it from the other side. At this age, a person has already taken place. There is a permanent job, the children have grown up and everything is going smoothly. But if not, then it is never too late to change something in yourself or your life. The main thing is to work on yourself. The first thing to do is to drop all the past. Cross out the bad and tune in only to the good. Look at how many people over 40 go to college in order to improve their profession or get a new one. If, for example, you lost your job or retired, you can start your own business. Or if the children have grown up a long time ago and started their own families, there is no need to sit in a rocking chair and knit socks. Try, for example, to travel or even change your place of residence. No matter how old you are, where you work or where you live, life can always be filled with colors. The main thing is never to stop and believe in yourself before last day... Play sports, reconsider your priorities and start living freely.

The material was prepared by Yulia Starova

We continue the topic of finding your vocation (). If you are still looking for yourself and do not know what to do in life, then this article is for you. Let's figure out what might be the reasons for this situation and how to change it.

To begin with, people cannot find themselves for two main reasons. Either you are a very versatile person and do not know what to choose, or you think that you are not attracted to anything at all. Let's consider the first situation. People who have a lot of interests, favorite things, hobbies, cannot find themselves precisely because of the complexity of the choice - they are torn between several directions in life. If you are just such a person, then you can only congratulate you - you are never bored with living and people are always interested in you. Your hobbies are the voices of your ability. You can develop yourself in many areas and this is your advantage. The difficulty lies in the fact that a large number of interests creates a situation of "swan, cancer and pike", when you dissipate your energy at the same time on many cases that are in no way connected with each other. As a result, you will not get good results anywhere, scattering your strength on one, then on another, then on the third. Mastery can be achieved only in the work to which you devote the maximum of your time. , attention and hard work. Therefore, make your choice as soon as possible, otherwise you will stand still.

Analyze which of your favorite activities could become your profession, your main activity. Take a look in every direction that you like. At the same time, in each case, imagine that this is your job, and track your feelings - could you do this all day five days a week, could you take money for it. What suits you best as an option permanent work then choose. Leave the rest of your favorite activities as a hobby. Do these simple reflections, and you will immediately clear up everything.

Then start to act in the direction that you have chosen to finally make sure that your decision is correct. It is in the process of activity that you will finally understand whether this is your business or not. If necessary, receive additional education... If you need new knowledge, go, for example, to courses or take up self-education.
The main thing is to start developing in what you have chosen, take small practical steps every day. Just tell yourself, “This is what I do in my life. Now". Nobody says that then you cannot change your mind. You can always change it. You just need to start moving towards something, choose from this a large number your favorite activities one thing and begin to devote the maximum of your time to it.

Now let's talk about the second group of people. About those who generally have a vague idea of what they want. As a rule, they quickly lose interest in everything, live as if by inertia and have already ceased to believe that they have their own vocation, or have never believed in it. I declare with full responsibility - this cannot be that a person does not have a vocation. Each person has their own vocation. Understand that you are unique, there is no other like you! In nature, there are no two identical snowflakes, just like there are no two identical people. Even the twins - although they are similar in appearance, but inside - are completely different unique personalities. And in each person there is some unique hidden talent, often not even one. Your task is to find talents in yourself, to understand what your main feature... After all a person is happy when he is not just a faceless cog in the system, but when he can give his uniqueness to the world.

How do you find them? You must admit that every person always has activities that bring joy, that cause pleasant excitement, inspiration, and enthusiasm. It just so happens that the limiting social attitudes acquired in the family, in your social circle, are so entrenched in your consciousness that for you these activities seem to be something frivolous or impossible, and you do not perceive them as a possible option for your activity.

Think about what inspires you? What activities give you moral satisfaction? What are you unconsciously drawn to? - You collect information about this, but put it off all the time. When you feel a sense of pleasant excitement (and not a feeling of boredom), when your thoughts begin to spin in this direction. Inspiration is the sister of a calling.

Now we are not considering a situation when a person does not want anything at all, when he has depression or apathy. It is clear that in such periods there is no time to search for a destination. Here you just need to restore vitality, return the desire to live.

We take the case when a person is mentally healthy, just until he found his path and thinks that he is not attracted to anything. In fact, this is an illusion, the inertia of the mind, that conviction with which a person has settled down and considers it a part of his personality, he perceives as his reality. Start thinking differently. Create new image myself - someone who knows what its purpose is. Stop rushing around and getting upset. Your image should always go ahead of reality. Think outside the box - don't be afraid of bold ideas. Repeat as often as possible: “I know what my purpose is. I know what I want to do in life. Life shows me my way, sends signs, guides and leads me to my goal. " Or ask yourself a question, ask directly: “What is my calling? What is my main goal? " Fall asleep and wake up with this question, and your subconscious mind will find a way to tell you the answer. In fact, all the answers are already within you. Stop looking around and look inward.

Anna Handel

Analyze which of your favorite activities could become your profession, your main activity. Take a look in every direction that you like. At the same time, in each case, imagine that this is your job, and track your feelings - could you do this all day five days a week, could you take money for it. Choose what suits you best as a permanent job. Leave the rest of your favorite activities as a hobby. Do these simple reflections, and you will immediately clear up everything.

Then start to act in the direction that you have chosen to finally make sure that your decision is correct. It is in the process of activity that you will finally understand whether this is your business or not. Get additional education if necessary. If you need new knowledge, go, for example, to courses or take up self-education.
The main thing is to start developing in what you have chosen, take small practical steps every day. Just tell yourself, “This is what I do in my life. Now". Nobody says that then you cannot change your mind. You can always change it. You just need to start moving towards something, choose one thing from this large number of your favorite activities and begin to devote the maximum of your time to it.

Now let's talk about the second group of people. About those who generally have a vague idea of what they want. As a rule, they quickly lose interest in everything, live as if by inertia and have already ceased to believe that they have their own vocation, or have never believed in it. I declare with full responsibility - this cannot be that a person does not have a vocation. Each person has their own vocation. Understand that you are unique, there is no other like you! In nature, there are no two identical snowflakes, just like there are no two identical people. Even the twins - although they are similar in appearance, but inside - are completely different unique personalities. And in each person there is some unique hidden talent, often not even one. Your task is to find talents in yourself, to understand what is your main feature. After all a person is happy when he is not just a faceless cog in the system, but when he can give his uniqueness to the world.

We take the case when a person is mentally healthy, just until he found his path and thinks that he is not attracted to anything. In fact, this is an illusion, the inertia of the mind, that conviction with which a person has settled down and considers it a part of his personality, he perceives as his reality. Start thinking differently. Create a new image of yourself - someone who knows what its purpose is. Stop rushing around and getting upset. Your image should always go ahead of reality. Think outside the box - don't be afraid of bold ideas. Repeat as often as possible: “I know what my purpose is. I know what I want to do in life. Life shows me my way, sends signs, guides and leads me to my goal. " Or ask yourself a question, ask directly: “What is my calling? What is my main goal? " Fall asleep and wake up with this question, and your subconscious mind will find a way to tell you the answer. In fact, all the answers are already within you. Stop looking around and look inward.

Anna Handel

The majority of adults who have already taken place ask questions about their mission. The prerequisites for this are unrealized ideas and a person "crushed" by their parents in childhood. What to do in life? Any child will easily answer this question that he, for example, wants to become an astronaut or a military man, and an adult, in turn, will be at a loss and will not be able to give an affirmative answer. This is due to the fact that children are more clearly aware of what they want from life.

Factors that prevent a person from deciding what to do in life

"Who do I want to be? What do I strive for from life? Why can't I understand what my main purpose is?" There are a lot of questions, and all of them are connected with the fact that a person is not able, for some reason, to fully understand himself and his feelings, desires. It can be due to a number of social and psychological factors. Everyday life individual, personality traits, habits and social circle.

Self-doubt

Constant barriers that arise between a person and his goal in the form of doubts and uncertainty provoke the oppression of the desire to realize his unrealized potential. "Will I be able to? What if I fail?" Sometimes the cultivation of insecurity occurs even at the stage of adolescence, where the individual first encounters setbacks, misunderstandings and lack of support from loved ones. Doubts about one's own abilities significantly hinder not only the implementation of plans, but also a person's personal growth.

Features of the educational process

All our successes and failures, addictions, fears and dreams come from childhood. Most parents, not listening to the wishes of their children, inculcate skills and abilities that are absolutely not characteristic of them. For example, a child, to the question "What do you want to do in life?" replies that he wants to be an artist. His answer is perceived by his parents as something unrealistic, something that will not bring any material wealth or career growth... As a result, the child meets with complete misunderstanding on the part of adults, and his potential becomes unrealizable.

However, there are also cases when parents try to organize the child's leisure time as much as possible, forcing him to fully develop. Of course, an adult who has knowledge of different areas activity, will be able to achieve a lot, but in most cases the person still does not know what to do because he forgets his initial desires and aspirations.

Environment

Vedomosti, a kind of herd instinct, sometimes hides from a person his true capabilities and abilities. For example, several people from the inner circle go to one college / institute / university and pull a person along with them. Under certain personal qualities he cannot resist. The result of training without much desire, and so, "for the company", is the choice of the wrong profession, the wrong job. As a result, an acute shortage develops. positive emotions, work becomes routine, and a person, living boring, gray life, begins to ask the question: "What to do in life in order to regain satisfaction from your own activities?" But he does not find an answer, because his "I" has already deeply hidden the possibilities and talents of a person, so as not to oppose his choice.

Stereotypes

Each person has their own opinion about what happiness should be. But some agree on one thing: happy man- this is the one who has achieved everything in life, who lives without denying himself anything. So there are human stereotypes that without material wealth, no one can consider themselves successful and fulfilled. In this regard, a person, in his desire to understand what to do in life, often seeks to get rich, to become one whose material possibilities are practically limitless, and not to develop spiritually. No, this is not bad at all, but it should be borne in mind that money cannot bring full potential release, since each of us is individual. For example, a person who is more inclined to creativity (drawing, singing, playing musical instruments, etc.) is often not endowed with a certain commercial streak, which reduces all his attempts to achieve material well-being.

"What do I want to do in life?" The problem with this question is that not everyone can sort it out on the shelves. own desires and dreams. Most people lack specificity in defining the purpose. Most often this is due to urgent needs, the satisfaction of which comes first. Here, an adult can be compared to a teenager who is guided by the wishes and preferences of parents, relatives and friends. What is better to do in life - the answer lies in the subconsciousness of each individual, for this you need to ask yourself motivational questions:

What are your prerogative values in your life (no more than three)?
What goals are important for you to achieve this moment(no more than three)?
What do you like to do?
What would you like to be able to do if you found out that you have six months left to live?
What is your most cherished dream that has not been fulfilled due to the fear of failure?
Where would you spend a large amount of money won in lottery / lotto / poker?
What dream would you go for realizing if you were sure of 100% success?

Intuition development

By developing intuitive abilities, in the future you will be able to listen to your own subconscious mind, which gives us hints and correct answers. Then, how to understand what to do in life will not be a problem for you - you can easily identify your calling and start direct action.

Books

Reading is what people do in life in almost every social class. Books are a great way to understand yourself. Read as much as possible, but not everything. Be selective in your choice of literature, consider your preferences. You don't have to force yourself to master difficult works - this way you will develop a dislike for reading books.

Systematization

Making lists will help you decide what to do in life. For example: shopping list, day planning. Systematize desires, attitudes towards people and things, work and hobbies. List of your positives, negative qualities, as well as skills and abilities will help you figure out what occupation is best for you to do, in what area to work.

A responsibility

Know how to be responsible for your actions, without blaming loved ones, the government and society as a whole for your failures. Responsibility allows you to realize that life and the choices you make depend only on you, which means that only you can know how to act correctly in this or that issue. What is worth doing in life? First of all, learn to organize yourself and your activities.

Right choice

In any situation, focus on your own subconscious. Do you want to understand if the right choice was made? Close your eyes and mentally imagine that the person who is next to you is not there. Did you feel good or bad? This will be the correct answer. Visualizing the consequences of making a choice will help you avoid irreparable mistakes.

Pause

Taking a pause before any fateful decision allows you to think about everything more carefully. You should not act guided only by emotions and momentary impulses - this is fraught with a negative outcome, regrets and uncertainty about future achievements. Want to change your job? Weigh the pros and cons, and provide a summary of your actions.

Exercises to Reveal Hidden Potential

Thanks to the lessons, you can easily decide on your true purpose... Various psychological techniques are often difficult to apply, therefore it is easier to use visualization of plans, desires and future actions. This does not require additional skills and knowledge - everything is very simple, you need clear sheet paper, pen or pencil and a little patience.

Extract and analysis of hobbies, favorite activities

Relax and think about the activities you are familiar with the most. Write down at least 20 known species hobbies or professions. For example: floriculture, playing the piano, writing articles, dancing, sports, cooking, and more. Analyze ready list, put down next to each of the items the time that you devote (are ready to devote) to this or that activity during each day, as well as your preferences in the form of pluses.

Take a close look at your list. Near one (several) points, you can see the greatest number of pluses and times - this is your unrealized destiny.

Material wealth visualization

Imagine that your life has changed dramatically, and now, in order to support yourself or your family, you no longer need to sit all day in the office, stand behind a machine in a factory, run around with a courier bag - in general, you do not need to work. A bank account has been opened in your name with a round sum, which will be enough for a long comfortable existence, and children study at a prestigious academy. Have you presented? Now think about what you would do if you had a lot of free time and material wealth. Record all possible options on paper and analyze. Your further actions are the beginning of work on yourself in this particular type of activity.