In Christian traditions, the fortieth day after death is considered much more important than the day of death. It is on this day that the newly deceased soul in heaven is given a verdict on its future fate. Therefore, relatives and friends, organizing a commemoration for 40 days, can provide assistance on this day, correct something, change better side the path of the soul of a departed person. It is customary to commemorate a person on this day with prayers, a church service, dinner and distribution of alms.

What happens to the soul during this time

According to the traditions of Orthodoxy, when the spirit leaves the body, all the consequences, good or bad, that he voluntarily or involuntarily caused during his lifetime remain with him. All attachments, habits and character traits are not forgotten after death physical body. 40 days after death, the soul gets acquainted with the charms of Paradise and the horrors of Hell in order to realize all its actions, sins, and repent. During this period, the soul suffers, it can suffer from regrets and remorse.

Sincerely believing people all their conscious life are preparing for the transition to the afterlife and realize that they will have to answer for their actions. They perceive death as a moment of meeting with God and account for their deeds. At the same time, it is very important at what spiritual level the soul was at the moment of transition.

In Orthodoxy, it is believed that the commemoration of the deceased on the 40th day can soften the final decision of the Creator and affect where the soul will be in eternity. Relatives and the church pray on this day for the departed soul, ask God for mercy on her, wish her cleansing from sins, and beg for a better fate for her.

Church commemoration

In order to adequately hold a deceased relative, facilitate his transition to another life and beg for forgiveness and repose, a 40-day commemoration includes a special church service. At the request of relatives, you can choose one of the following options or all together:

  • magpie - daily church prayer within 40 days;
  • a psalter for the deceased, or the “unsleeping” prayer is a special prayer that is read mainly by monks in the monastery around the clock;
  • memorial service - a memorial service with memorial prayers.

You can order a memorial service on memorial days, as well as on any day when longing for a departed loved one overcomes. You can also pray for him at home or in church at any time. In the church, candles are lit for the repose of the soul. This is considered one of the types of donation. After lighting a candle, you can sincerely pray in your own words or a ready-made prayer, ask the Lord for forgiveness for the sins of the deceased.

Visiting the grave

Funeral traditions include obligatory visits to the cemetery on certain days and the performance of rituals at the grave. You can invite a priest there to conduct a service or go yourself and just pray. Flowers and a church candle are usually taken to the cemetery. There should be an even number of flowers in the bouquet. Flowers are laid on the grave, paying tribute to the departed person.

Then a candle is lit and placed on the grave. With a lit candle, they say a prayer, out loud or to themselves, asking the Lord for the repose of the soul. You can stay a little at the grave in silence, remembering all the good things that were associated with the deceased person. You can also mentally communicate with him, thank him, wish him well.

In the cemetery you can not behave like in ordinary life, start extraneous conversations, joke, laugh. It is impossible to discuss the funeral, the grave, those present, the commemoration, the correctness or incorrectness of their conduct. No matter how many people are present at the grave, an atmosphere of peace and tranquility is always appropriate here.

Table organization

On the day of commemoration, it is customary to treat everyone around with memorial dishes and distribute alms. The memorial table is prepared at home or in another convenient place. It is believed that on the 40th day the spirit of a deceased person returns home, precisely for a wake, and after that leaves the earthly world forever.

That is why it is so important to gather on this day in the circle of relatives and friends and experience together this important and mournful moment of farewell. The funeral dinner is not a holiday and is not arranged for an idle pastime with music and songs. This is a continuation of the church rite, so the dinner should be held decorously and with dignity.

The first and obligatory meal is preparing kutya for the wake. This is an ordinary porridge, most often rice, which is cooked in a large bowl with the addition of raisins, honey, nuts. The dish symbolizes the sweetness of eternal life.

It is recommended to make a menu for the commemoration of the most lenten dishes. Simple food benefits both body and spirit. On this day the main task not the enjoyment of food, but the unity and comfort of the mourners. People gather at a memorial dinner to pray together for repose, and also to thank all those present for their help and sympathy.

If it is not possible to arrange a memorial dinner exactly on the 40th day, it is very important to endure the main procedure - church commemoration and prayers for the deceased. The table can be moved to any other day. The main thing at the same time is to focus on simplicity, not to allow unjustified expenses and be sure to give some of the things or money to charity in memory of the deceased.

memorial speech

At dinner, it is customary to commemorate the deceased and a minute of silence after it. At the commemoration, anyone can speak, but the main speech should be delivered by a person who maintains self-control and knows how to restrain emotions. He can then give the floor to those who want to speak and smooth out awkward moments, diverting the attention of those present if someone cannot help crying.

This role can be performed by both the manager and the most restrained and judicious member of the family. First, the word is given to the closest relatives, then friends and acquaintances. You should prepare for the performance in advance, as improvisation may be unsuccessful due to surging emotions.

Things of the deceased

Funeral rituals may correspond church rules, or may just be a tradition. So on memorial days it is customary to distribute sweets and pastries to others with the words "for the kingdom of heaven" so that they remember the deceased. Also, after 40 days, the things of the deceased are sorted out and distributed to the needy or given to the church.

All funeral rituals are aimed at preserving good memories of the departed person and helping his soul find peace and eternal heavenly life.

No matter how sad it may be, but sooner or later we are faced with the death of loved ones. And it would be good to know this tragic moment at the wake of 40 days, what is the procedure for holding it. Why is it important to commemorate forty?

If you don’t go deep into church details, you can simply say that forty days after death, the soul appears before the Almighty in order to “find out” where it will go to heaven or hell. And as a weighty argument in favor of the soul, how a person and his lifetime deeds are remembered by his relatives and friends.

Since the most important thing for the soul of the deceased is not a feast, but prayers, that is why on the fortieth day after the death of a person, a visit to church is mandatory. There, close relatives in the church ask with a note to pray for repose.

Important! In the church, they order a liturgy for the repose of only that person who was Orthodox Christian and baptized.

On the fortieth, relatives, while in church, should pray for the forgiveness of all the sins of the deceased. In addition, they light candles for the dead. It is advisable to give alms when leaving the church.

Cemetery visit

Even on the fortieth day after the death of a loved one, it is imperative to visit the place of his burial. In the cemetery, it is customary to light a candle or lamp and pray. It is desirable that the closest people be at the cemetery on this day, so that there is no din and loud conversations. You should not take alcohol and snacks with you to remember the deceased.

memorial dinner

A memorial meal or commemoration for 40 days, the procedure for conducting some kind of particularly complicated one does not imply. The main thing is that everyone who wants to say goodbye to the deceased should be invited. Usually these are close relatives, friends, good acquaintances and colleagues of the deceased.

At one time, no one was invited to the commemoration, people themselves came to honor the memory and testify their respect to the relatives of the deceased. Then they laid several tables so that no one was left hungry. Now the time is a little different and it is not customary to come to the table without an invitation.

What is served on the table

A memorial dinner for the fortieth should not be luxurious. It is not customary to force the table with delicacies. Dishes should be simple, not fancy. In this case, the presence of hot dishes is a must. The Church does not welcome alcoholic beverages at the memorial dinner. However, these days, magpies rarely do without this. In this case, sparkling wines should be avoided. It is customary to serve vodka, cognac and red wine. But there should not be an excess of alcohol on the memorial table, so that the commemoration does not end with songs, and even more so, with dances.

Be sure to have kutya or eve on the table. This is a whole grain dish with raisins, honey and nuts. It is customary to serve borscht, cabbage soup, beetroot soup, chicken broth with noodles - the choice of dish depends on the area. The funeral table usually contains porridge, meat and fish dishes. As well as various snacks.

Important! It is believed that the number of dishes on the memorial table on the fortieth day after death should be even.
Before you start the meal, be sure to read the prayer "Our Father". Then those present should remember the good deeds of the deceased. It's about positive role that he played in someone's life. You can not gossip and remember things that are objectionable to God.

It’s good if there is a “leader” of the memorial dinner. This may be an invited stranger or one of the guests. Such a person is needed so that conversations do not go into an unnecessary direction, and also to dispel sadness a little at the right time. Since it is customary to make speeches at forty, first of all they are delivered by the next of kin, and then by everyone else.

There are also customs associated with table setting for a funeral dinner. For example, they do not serve forks and knives - everyone eats with spoons, leaving an empty plate with cutlery for the deceased. In addition, the table for such a meal is not covered with a “merry” tablecloth, that is, it should be plain.

Fortieth Day

Many are interested in the question: it is obligatory to hold a commemoration day to day for 40 days after death or later. It is not advisable to celebrate the fortieth earlier, since this is associated with the day when the soul will stand before the Judgment of God. Later, 40 days are celebrated if the commemoration falls on the Week, that is, the week preceding Easter or directly on Easter.

In this case, the commemoration is transferred to. Religious people who fast postpone the commemoration to Saturday, Sunday and the days when it is allowed to eat fish. In this case, there will be no meat dishes on the table.

And at the end:

  • What can not be done until 40 days after the death of a relative is to cry, moan and in every way be killed for the deceased. It is believed that the soul will not find rest if it sees such suffering of relatives.
  • On the fortieth, the deceased is necessarily commemorated. Of course, the meal is also important, but we must not forget about prayer. Moreover, within 40 days after death, relatives should pray for the deceased daily.
  • When visiting a cemetery, food is not left at the grave for the deceased. Better to give it to those in need.

Everyone would like to not know for as long as possible what a commemoration of 40 days is and about the procedure for conducting them. But, unfortunately, no one is eternal. If you have any doubts about the correctness of your actions in a time of trouble, it is better to turn to the church for advice.

In Orthodoxy, the date 40 days after the death of a person is considered very important, like 9 days. According to the established Christian canons, it is on this day that the soul of a deceased person in the next world receives the final decision on where it will now go. But it is believed that if the soul of the deceased cannot change or correct anything, then relatives and friends will be able to help her in this.

Today we will tell you what happens on the 40th day according to beliefs with the soul and what relatives should do on this day - how to hold a commemoration, what to cook and say and do when the deceased is commemorated.

Meaning of the date 40 days after a person's death

If you believe Orthodox traditions, the most significant dates for the relatives of the deceased are such dates as the third, 9th and 40th day after death, and they must spend them in accordance with all memorial canons. At the same time, the 40th day is the most significant, because, as already mentioned at the very beginning, this is the period when the human soul finally moves away from earthly life into eternity.

From a religious point of view, 40 days is a date more significant than even the physical death of a person. And now let's find out what happens to the soul of the deceased before and after the 40-day commemoration.

During our earthly life, the human soul is in union with the body, but at the moment of death, the soul leaves it. But the soul takes away from life many habits, passions, deeds and everything else, including both negative and positive. After death, the soul receives either a punishment or a reward, depending on how the life was lived.

After death, the soul goes through a serious test, since it must overcome a number of obstacles and account for everything it has done before God. Remember the following:

  • you need to understand that until the 40th day of the soul of the deceased will continue to be in its habitat because she will be in some confusion, because she does not yet know how to live without a physical shell;
  • about 3-4 days shower slowly will begin to get used to the new physical state and cease to be afraid of him, she will get rid of the body and is able to take so-called walks;
  • it is worth knowing that the relatives and friends of the deceased up to 40 days should not order tantrums and suffer bitterly for him because his spirit hears everything and experiences great torment in connection with this. The best thing that loved ones can do immediately after death is to read the Holy Scriptures.

Now consider what happens to the soul after forty days. After this date, the soul is given the opportunity to last time return to earth to visit the places that matter most to you. So many people who have lost their loved ones often tell stories that it is on this day that they come to them in dreams or visions to finally say goodbye.

In addition, many people who were present before this period, that the deceased relatives are somewhere nearby, admitted that after 40 days their presence was no longer felt, they no longer heard their steps, smells or sighs.

What happens to the soul: it goes to God in order to stand before his court. But, according to beliefs, it is not God himself who judges her, but a person will be independently responsible for what he has done in life. It is believed that after the soul stays in front of the image of the Almighty, it gets two ways - to reunite with its light or go into the abyss.

This or that decision about the movement of the soul is not made by willpower, but by how spiritual a person was and what his life was like.

According to church canons, within forty days the soul is waiting for what decision will be made about its future fate however, this judgment will not be the last. After all, then she will await the next, final Last Judgment. On it, the fate of many people will change very much.

Wake of 40 days: order of conduct

Many people often get confused how to count 40 days after death. So, the calendar date of a person’s death is taken, and it is this date that is considered the first day from the moment of death, even if it came in the evening. Accordingly, that 9 or 40-1 days of death will be considered the ninth and fortieth, taking into account the day of death itself.

On the fortieth day after death, the soul returns to its home again and stays there for about a day, and after the end of the commemoration, it leaves forever. Among believers, it is believed that if a commemoration is not held on this day according to all the canons, then the soul of the deceased will forever suffer. That is why it is very important to spend this date correctly.

The order of the commemoration is as follows:

  • remember that the first thing to do is pray. You should pray not only during the commemoration, but also on previous days. Thanks to this, you will ease the fate of your loved one, thereby persuading Higher power change the decision regarding his soul for the better and show mercy;
  • in order to save the soul of the deceased, one must at the same time renounce a certain sin of one's own. So, even if you sometimes drink alcohol or smoke, then in order to save your soul, you should give up your harmful addiction for a while. If you do not smoke or drink, then for your own benefit, prayer and for the comfort of the soul of the deceased, at least give up watching TV or the Internet for a few days;
  • A very important point is how exactly the commemoration will be held. All those who gather at the memorial table must be Orthodox Christians. After all, if a person does not believe in God, then his presence will not be a help for the soul of the deceased;
  • you can’t take a wake for 40 days as an occasion to meet with old friends or relatives, because this is not a simple feast;
  • Orthodox Church categorically forbids during the commemoration, have fun, drink alcohol or sing songs. You must be aware of this.

On this memorial date, it is recommended to prepare and serve the following dishes on the table:

  • kutya (required);
  • sweet pancakes;
  • sandwiches with fish, for example, with sprats;
  • salads based on vegetables;
  • beetroot salad with garlic;
  • vinaigrette with herring or olivier;
  • cutlets baked with mushrooms and cheese;
  • stuffed peppers;
  • fish jelly;
  • cabbage rolls lean from vegetables with mushrooms;
  • baked fish with vegetables under mayonnaise;
  • pies stuffed with fish, cabbage, rice and mushrooms, potatoes or apples.
  • bread kvass;
  • lemonade;
  • sbiten;
  • fruit drink;
  • raspberry, plum, currant, cherry, apple, oat or cranberry jelly.

Almsgiving for people at the wake in 40 days

According to Orthodox Christian traditions, when this date comes after the moment of death of a person, his things must be sorted out and distributed to those who need it and also ask these people to pray for the soul of the deceased.

This ritual is considered good deed, which is necessarily taken into account during the decision about where the soul will live after death. Therefore, it is better to do just that, especially when there are a lot of things left.

Relatives can leave after the deceased only those things that are of the greatest value as a memory of him. Some items can be donated to family and friends. Take the rest to the temple, but Throwing things away is strictly prohibited..

What to say at the wake in 40 days?

Quite often, during the ritual, not only the deceased person is commemorated, but also all the deceased relatives, while the deceased himself is represented as if he were sitting at the table with everyone.

A memorial speech must be said standing up, do not forget to honor the memory of the deceased with a minute of silence. You can choose the leader of the wake from among close friends of the family. He must control his emotions, despite the emotional severity of the situation. The task of the presenter will be that he will take turns giving the floor to the relatives of the deceased, depending on how close they were with him:

  • spouse or spouse;
  • children or parents;
  • close relatives or family friends.

The host is obliged to prepare a few phrases in advance to defuse the situation and distract the guests when someone has tears during the speech.

Remembering for 40 days is very important both for the relatives of the deceased and for calming his soul. And it is very important to do everything correctly according to the established canons and Orthodox traditions.

Everything happens in life, for example, sometimes it ends. The event, of course, is rather unpleasant, but inevitable. And the relatives of the newly deceased face questions: why is it so important to calculate 40 days after death, how to commemorate correctly, are there other important dates, what is at the wake, and is it possible to somehow alleviate the fate of the soul who has departed to another world.

Life after life

Suppose the irreparable happened - a certain Ivan Ivanovich died. His wife is crying for the third day in a row, sometimes his children join her, his friends are completely at a loss, and his brother has gone on a drinking binge. And everyone concentrates on their own experiences, no one, in fact, thinks about how you can help the deceased and do something for him.

And Ivan Ivanovich, meanwhile, is looking at everything that is happening and, being an intelligent person, is even more worried that he has caused such inconvenience to so many people. He still thinks, still remembers everything, sees and hears everything, but already without a physical shell. And he is somewhat dismayed by the fact that instead of starting to bother for his soul, his beloved wife rushes to the stove in order to have time to cook ten dishes for the wake and by the third day.

Although these three days the soul of Ivan Ivanovich is here on Earth, so you can finally tell him how much he was loved and ask for forgiveness for everything. Ideally, read lines from the Bible or, if a person has been a materialist atheist all his life, give brief instructions on what will happen to him in the next days, because for most materialist atheists, the shock after death is especially strong.

The importance of some days

Commemoration is taken on the third, ninth and fortieth day because it's special meaningful time for the deceased.

  • On the third day of a new life, the soul of the deceased finally comes to terms with his new position.
  • On the ninth day, he gets the opportunity to learn in practice what is heaven and what is hell.
  • On the fortieth day comes the Private Judgment - the result of all human life, on which it will be decided where the soul will stay until the moment of the general resurrection (Last Judgment): on the eve of paradise or on the eve of hell.

Therefore, the question of 40 days after death and how to commemorate in order to alleviate the fate of the deceased is always relevant and requires more careful consideration.

The funeral is usually held in the early morning on the third day. Consequently, the soul of the deceased will still be present at them and observe the process. There is a custom to put money in the coffin - you should not do this: times Ancient Greece And ancient egypt when it was seen as a practical necessity are long gone.

  • Akathist for the one who died.
  • Akathist for the repose of all the dead.
  • Prayer Canon to the Most Holy Theotokos.

But even if the deceased person was not baptized, he can be saved by the strengthened prayers of his loved ones. Usually they pray for the unbaptized to the holy martyr Uar.

Signs and superstitions

As always, when people encounter something unknown, superstitions begin to appear around the event. They do not bring any benefit, only further distracting from the main thing. No wonder the very word "superstition" means to believe in vain. And there can be no signs regarding the funeral, in principle.

It’s really not worth throwing away the things of the deceased: who would be pleased with such a dismissive attitude towards what was acquired by overwork? It’s better to sort them out and what was not very expensive for the deceased, but you don’t want to keep it for yourself - donate to charitable organizations or start distributing to those in need, not forgetting to ask them for prayers for the soul of the deceased.

Many are afraid of damage and the evil eye, but this is ridiculous and wrong. There are no such things in Orthodoxy. Nevertheless, people come up with some kind of rituals for themselves, for example, they do not cut their hair for forty days after a tragic event, or they sincerely believe that during this period it is impossible to gnaw seeds, etc. This is ridiculous, but energy and willpower, which is spent on these most dubious rites, it is better to spend on something that will really alleviate the fate of the deceased. And remember that you are either an Orthodox or a superstitious pagan who worships the oak and believes in the power of a pinned pin that protects from all troubles.

Preparing for the wake

So, the commemoration of 40 days is coming. The order of their holding is not much different from the third day, except that the intensity of passions subsided a little, and the day is much more important.

First of all, a wake is not a reason to get drunk. This is seeing off a loved one to the best of worlds, saying goodbye to him, the opportunity for everyone to remember something good about him, and only then follow the traditions and sentimental speeches. But no particularly original speeches are needed. It won't make it any easier for anyone.

You should not invite people with whom the deceased had not the best warm relationship even if they knew each other for a long time. A commemoration is the last holiday of a person, and he does not need to spoil them. So it is best if only relatives and friends are present.

memorial meal

You can hold a memorial dinner at home, you can in a restaurant - it's not the place that matters. Of course, many superstitions are also associated with the ritual meal, for example, that knives and forks should not be used during the meal. And why? No one knows. They wrote on some website, the neighbor confirmed, so it’s impossible. Well, isn't that stupid?

Although sometimes the meal is given too great importance, here is an example of a memorial table for 40 days. Menu:

Of course, it's not a constant. The funeral menu depends not only on the imagination and material capabilities of the organizers, but also, for example, on the calendar, because if there is a post - Great or etc., then it is better to refrain from meat.

drinking alcoholic beverages allowed, but strongly discouraged. After all, it's a sin.

Solemn speech

So, 40 days after death. Wake. “What to say so as not to offend the deceased?” - and the panic interruption of the Internet begins in search of the most original toasts.

Usually a responsible person is appointed who is relatively in control of himself, and he thinks over his speech in advance. But at least a couple of words should be said by each of those present. Since they are at the wake on this sad day, it means that this person was dear to them. After each speech, it is important to observe a minute of silence - during it it is better to pray than to wind yourself up and, as a result, cry.

At the wake, you should not sing, recite a verse, dance (even under the pretext that the deceased herself loved to dance), etc. See off a loved one in last way- this is, of course, a tragic event, but it is better to give it an areola of philosophy than hysterics.

Do not forget that there are church holidays of remembrance - for example, Radonitsa, when it is worth going to the deceased in the cemetery and putting the grave in order.

Unfortunately, most people remember death only at someone's wake. But remember that you will still have the opportunity to meet with the deceased face to face at the Last Judgment and, with a successful combination of circumstances, in the Kingdom of Heaven. So the separation is only temporary, and it is better to spend the allotted time for the benefit of your own soul.

Wake 40 days: 7 rules to follow when organizing, 10 dishes that can be prepared, 6 prayers that are read for 9 and 40 days, 7 memorial dates in Christianity.

People who do not believe in an afterlife consider death to be the final chord of human existence. Like, he died - and that's it, nothing was left of him, except for the grave. And about the immortal soul - it's all nonsense. But even among hardened atheists, few people dare to violate funeral traditions.

40 days of commemoration - an opportunity to remember the deceased, drink a glass for the repose of his soul, put a candle in the church, and gather with relatives.

But this date is far from the only one that needs to be dedicated to the deceased.

People say that a person is alive as long as the memory of him is alive.

In the first year, the deceased is remembered quite often and not only by heartbroken relatives, but also by everyone who takes part in the commemoration.

Funeral rites are obligatory for Orthodox Christians. They are held according to specific rules that you need to know in order to provide the soul native person peace and grace.

Conventionally, any commemoration can be divided into 2 parts:

  1. Church. This includes a memorial service ordered by relatives in the church, and a series of prayers that are read by relatives of the deceased. Unchurched people are afraid to make a mistake, to order something wrong, to do something wrong. Do not worry, because in any temple you will be prompted for the right decision.
  2. Gastronomic. That is, exactly what we mean when we pronounce the word “commemoration”: a dinner for which people from the close circle of the deceased are called to commemorate his soul.

Another important point- visit to the cemetery. At the commemoration, you go to "visit" the deceased in order to:

  • demonstrate to him - you have not forgotten about him;
  • tidy up the grave;
  • bring fresh flowers;
  • put a treat for the poor, who will eat it with gratitude for the remembrance of the soul.

There are a lot of commemorations in the first year:

  1. After the burial. It is on the day of the funeral that the first memorial dinner is held, to which everyone who gave last tribute respect for the deceased in the cemetery.
  2. Breakfast. In the morning after the burial, the family goes to the churchyard to bring breakfast to the "deceased" and commemorate him near the grave. No one except the closest relatives is invited to this action.
  3. 3 days. This date is important for the family of the deceased. The main stages of commemoration: a visit to the burial place and a family dinner.
  4. 9 days. It is believed that up to 9 days the soul of a person lives in the "paradise", but not yet in heaven. The commemoration is arranged precisely on the ninth day, because that is how many "angelic ranks" there are.
  5. 40 days. According to Christian canons, it was on the 40th day that Jesus Christ ascended to heaven - which is why the date is so important for Christians. A commemoration for the "fortieth" is a prerequisite.
  6. Six months. The date of the commemoration is not considered mandatory, therefore it is missed by many. If you want to remember your loved one on this day, visit the cemetery, order a memorial service in the church and sit modestly with your family, remembering the good things about the deceased.
  7. 1 year. The last major memorial number. On this day, they not only order a memorial service, but also organize a big dinner in honor of the deceased. Ideally, you need to call everyone who was at the funeral, but if finances do not allow, then you can get by with a smaller number of “guests”.

After a year has passed from the date of death, you can commemorate your loved one whenever you want (for example, on the day of his birth and death, on other important dates for you), ordering memorial services and distributing sweets for the repose of the soul. Large feasts can no longer be organized.

The most important commemoration dates, in addition to the funeral number and 1 year, are the 9th and 40th days. We will talk about them further in more detail, because many traditions have been forgotten.

9 days: commemoration according to the rules

This is the first of three important memorial dates. Eat certain rules and traditions to be followed.

What does the soul expect from the wake on the 9th day

According to church dogmas, exactly 9 days are given to a person after death in order to complete his earth path, say goodbye to relatives and friends whom you had to leave and prepare for a meeting with the Lord.

9 is a sacred number in Christianity, because that is how many angelic ranks exist. It is the angels who must bring the spirit of the deceased on the 9th day after death to the Judgment of the Lord, so that her fate is decided: to stay in paradise or go down to hell if her sins are too serious.

But the verdict has not yet been passed, and from the 9th to the 40th day, ordeals await the soul. That is why relatives should be especially careful during this period so as not to aggravate the sins of the deceased with their thoughtless actions. And it's not just about proper organization commemoration.

Of course, you will grieve for your loved one, but it is important that your grief is not so inconsolable that the soul cannot leave this world at all.

Wake for 9 days according to church canons

Relatives are required to express their grief for the deceased not with endless tears, but with prayers and good deeds.

Required on memorial day:

  1. Book a memorial service at the church.
  2. Defend the service on this day to pray in the temple for the deceased and put a candle that will light the way for him in the days of ordeals.
  3. Distribute sweets and money to the poor.

You can make a donation on behalf of the deceased to those in need: an orphanage or a nursing home, a hospital, a shelter for the homeless, etc.

Be sure to visit the grave on the 9th day to remove dried flowers from the day of the funeral, light a candle, and pray for the soul of the deceased.

If possible, order a lithium - the priest will come and pray at the burial place for your loved one. But it is permissible to read the prayers at the commemoration on your own.

In addition to the traditional "Our Father", you can read the following prayers:

God of spirits and all flesh, righting death and abolishing the devil, and bestowing life on Your world! Himself, Lord, rest the souls of the departed Thy servants: holy patriarchs His Grace Metropolitans, Archbishops and Bishops, who served You in the priestly, church and monastic ranks; the creators of this holy temple, Orthodox forefathers, father, brothers and sisters, lying here and everywhere; leaders and warriors for faith and the fatherland laid down their lives, faithful, killed in internecine warfare, drowned, burned, frozen in the scum, torn to pieces by beasts, suddenly died without repentance and did not have time to reconcile with the Church and with their enemies; in the frenzy of the mind of the suicidal, those whom we commanded and asked to pray for, for whom there is no one to pray and the faithful, the burials of the Christian deprived (the name of the rivers) in a place of light, in a place of greenery, in a place of peace, sickness, sadness and sighing will flee from here.

Any sin committed by them in word or deed or thought, like a good God who loves mankind, forgive, like a person, who will be alive and will not sin. Thou art only one except for sin, Thy righteousness is righteousness forever, and Thy word is truth. As You are the Resurrection, and the Life and Peace of Your dead servants (name of the rivers), Christ our God, and we send glory to You with Your Father without beginning, and the Most Holy, and the Good, and Your Life-giving Spirit, now and ever and forever and ever. Amen.

Remember that in prayer it is not so much the words themselves that are important, but sincerity.

40 days of wake: everything you need to know about this date

This is the second important date in the tradition of Christian commemoration, which in no case can be ignored if you care about the well-being of the deceased in the next world.

What happens to the soul on the 40th day and does it need a wake?

It is on the 40th day that the soul must hear the verdict of God, where it will be further: in Paradise or Hell.

It is believed that it is after this time that the soul completely breaks away from the body and realizes that it is dead.

The 40th day is the last date when the spirit visits his native places to say goodbye to worldly life, close, dear to the heart things.

In no case should relatives and friends sob and lament strongly on the day of the commemoration, so as not to increase the suffering of an already fragile soul, not to tie it forever to the earth, where it would forever wander between the world of the living and the dead.

You can often hear stories that it was on the 40th day in a dream that the deceased was a relative to say goodbye.

And after this period, you should stop feeling his presence nearby. If this did not happen, then somewhere at the wake you made a mistake, did something to tie the soul of the deceased to the ground.

Consult with the priest how to remedy the situation.

Church rules of commemoration for 40 days

The deceased himself is no longer able to change anything, is not able to correct any of the mistakes made during his lifetime. But his relatives are able to facilitate the transition of a loved one to Paradise with the help of a worthy commemoration on the 40th day.

Order a magpie in the church and give a donation to the temple. Be sure to pray on your own (in the temple or at home) in your own words or in the texts of special prayers:

Give rest, Lord, to the souls of the departed Thy servants: my parents, relatives, benefactors (their names), and all Orthodox Christians, and forgive them all sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant them the Kingdom of Heaven. Amen.

It would not be superfluous to give up on the 40th day some of your sin, for example, drunkenness or adultery, in order to facilitate the transition to paradise for the dead, or else make a donation to some kind of charitable foundation.

On the 40th day, in addition to the commemoration at home or in some institution, visit the cemetery to:

  • carry flowers;
  • light a candle;
  • treat the poor (if you don’t meet anyone, put a treat on the grave);
    pray;
  • to say goodbye for the last time - after all, soon the soul will finally leave the earth.

Wake for the dead

Funeral dinner on the 9th and 40th day

An important part memorial day- it's lunch. It is significant, first of all, to the living, because the dead are more important for the church commemoration and the sincere grief of loved ones.

Remember that neither on the 9th nor on the 40th day do they send out invitations to the commemoration. Those who remember the deceased come and want to honor him with their attention. Therefore, the commemoration usually takes place in a narrow circle of friends and relatives.

Here are a number of rules that must be followed when organizing a commemoration on the 9th and 40th day:

  1. Don't chase the amount of food. Do not set yourself the goal of impressing the "guests", showing them that you have money, feeding those present to satiety. Such pride is a sin from which it is the dead who will suffer.
  2. Look for a post on the calendar. If the commemoration on the 40th or 9th day fell on a church fast, give up meat - give it up altogether. Several fish dishes are allowed, the rest of the food should be prepared from vegetables on vegetable oil. If fasting is strict, then dairy products should also be excluded. But even if the commemoration fell on a period free from food restrictions, do not fill the table with meat. Adhere to the policy of moderation in the formation of the menu.
  3. Do not place forks on the funeral table. They symbolize the pitchfork used by the devils in hell to torment sinners. The main cutlery is spoons, even for second courses and snacks. The illiterate, indignant at the lack of forks at the wake, you can explain why you do it that way.
  4. Start your meal with the Lord's Prayer. Ask everyone present to pray for the memory of a loved one and make the sign of the cross before you start dinner.
  5. Speeches in memory of the deceased should be welcomed by relatives. No one should be forced to speak, but it is also impossible to forbid people to speak, to rush them to finish their speech as soon as possible. Those present gathered not to eat a week ahead, but then to remember the deceased with a kind word.
  6. Prepare the room where the commemoration will take place on the 9th and 40th days. Be sure to put a photo of the deceased with a mourning ribbon. Light a candle or lamp near the image, put a bouquet of flowers. A glass of water, covered with a slice of bread, and cutlery are also placed near the photo so that the deceased can have a meal with everyone.
  7. Keep order. If you see that someone is behaving inappropriately (swearing, laughing, talking loudly), carefully reprimand this uncultured person. If this does not work, ask him to leave, explaining that by his behavior he multiplies your grief. But in no case do not start scandals at the commemoration - this is a great sin before people, and before God, and before the deceased.

Dishes that can be prepared / ordered for the commemoration on the 9th and 40th day:

Separately, it must be said about alcohol. The church does not encourage wake drinking and believes that it is possible to do without alcohol at all, but people usually have a different opinion and put wine and / or vodka on the table.

It will not be a big sin if you still add alcohol to the funeral menu, but make sure that those present drink no more than three glasses, otherwise the wake will turn into a banal booze, during which they will forget what occasion they gathered at all.

You can control the amount drunk on the 9th and 40th day after the funeral by limiting the number of bottles on the table. Estimate how many people came to the wake and how many bottles of wine / vodka are needed for everyone to drink only 3 glasses. Hide the excess and do not give in to the requests of drunks, such as: “Bring more alcohol. How is it to remember Mikhalych dry? He'll be offended!"

40 days - commemoration, which are arranged only for the closest. It is not so much the feast itself that is important, but the church component of commemoration and the sincerity of your feelings for the deceased.