Switch, or how to hide emotions on your face. How to learn to control emotions to avoid unwanted consequences

Many people ask this question: "How to hide your emotions" ?. Don't let other people know exactly what you are thinking.

Why hide your emotions? The answer is very simple. There are some situations where emotions and thoughts are best kept hidden. When thoughts or emotions are displayed in front of people, they can make fun of or even take advantage of your feelings. As usual, let's stay away from this. Control your character by laughing and staying calm. This article points out the very acts and any things that only you can do in order to hide and control your emotions. Don't let any a person to know about what do you think.

1) Take a deep breath.
We talked about the benefits. After taking a deep breath, try to calm yourself. The same logic applies here. In addition to the obvious benefits of enhancing the oxygen supply, taking a deep breath will help you remember your composure and be calm.

2) Stop your brow movement.
Whether you like it or not, your eyes are the first to betray your emotions. The eyes are not verbal, but they say a lot. And this is exactly where your eyebrows are: if you are angry, sad, agitated in a stressful situation, there are certain certain eyebrow movements and positions associated with them. If you want to hide what you are feeling and thinking, stop moving your eyebrows and ease the tension in your forehead.

3) Do not put up with a fake smile.
Smiling is a huge benefit, but not always. A smile and a playful look on your face will help win you sympathy and love. But this is not always the best thing that can be in a serious meeting. You might think that a fake smile could hide feelings such as sadness or anger. We all know perfectly well that a fake is, most often, very noticeable. If you really want to hide your emotions, keep your lips straight.

4) don't support your head
The discouraged people often support their head with their fist or hide their gloomy face in the palm of their hand. This can be a gift to the interlocutor: speaks of a gloomy mood, depression or sadness. The phrase "holding your head up" is not the best thing to do when you are trying to hide your feelings. Keep your neck straight.

5) Stop and refrain from constantly regulating yourself.
Don't make sudden body movements - constant signs of discomfort, clear signs of nervousness or anxiety. Simplicity of behavior should be comfortable. Emotions and feelings are difficult to decipher if you maintain calmness.

6) pause, think and speak in a balanced tone
The tone of your voice can betray you: all your thoughts. Frequent changes in tone, quick conversation, stuttering and stammering can all serve as a signal to the person listening to you. Don't let this happen and speak correctly. The slow pace of the conversation makes it possible for those critical few microseconds to think a little longer before speaking your words.

7) distance yourself from the situation
It's not easy at all. But it may be necessary if you wish to hide certain emotions from the audience. The easiest way is to just think about happy thoughts or good memories. Think about warm moments with a loved one or moments of joy or happiness. This will help you mentally cope with anxiety, with your current situation.

8) Talk in your mind.
"Take it easy, you can do it." You must do it! If you think you've let your emotions get the best of you, just tell yourself that you want to. All you have to do is just tell yourself!

Sometimes we just need to pull ourselves together and keep a calm expression on our faces. But situations in life are different, we can promise ourselves, control the outbursts of our emotions, but in the most extreme situation again take off the mask of impenetrability and bare our feelings in front of other people. Then we begin to envy those who know how to curb their emotions. In fact, there are not many such people. If you are not a scout seasoned in dangerous situations and not a philosopher who has long renounced the worries of this world, then you a common person To whom this article will tell you how to hide your feelings.

About motivation

First, let's figure out why you need to hide something. Do you have any reasons for this? Are you ashamed of your weaknesses? Or are you afraid of attacks from other people? It may just be very difficult for you to demonstrate what you are experiencing because you do not know how to correctly speak about your needs. Once you understand what motivates you to put on the mask of impartiality, you will understand whether you should see a therapist who can teach you how to express emotions correctly or to act alone.

Choose your mask

If you want to easily get along in a large and complex team, choose a role for yourself. Put on the mask of "business lady", "bitch", "soul of the company" or "conflict-free clever". And play the role that befits this mask. You can be anyone, the choice is yours. The image should correspond as much as possible to reality, your real character and temperament. But be careful! Over time, the mask will grow to the skin, you will become who you want to appear.

Your little trick

Figure out for yourself how to quickly block negative emotions. It could be a phrase that miraculously calms you down. For example, some kind of aphorism, a proverb that can reason with you in a difficult situation. Or imagine a picture of complete harmony. You are sailing on a boat. And all around is silence and tranquility. The clear water is shrouded in morning haze. The sun rises up ahead. And on the shore you can see rustling reeds and green grass, if you listen to it, you can hear the dew flowing down. Have you calmed down? Then the next time a scandal occurs in the family or at work, or you find yourself in another stressful situation, mentally go to your favorite place and enjoy its delights.

Fixation on a stranger

No one will see your hidden feelings if you learn to unexpectedly distract yourself from the words of the interlocutor. Feel like you're about to explode? Concentrate on your breathing or start staring at the boss's jewelry, then you will simply listen to most of her barbs. Highly good method- visualization of emotions. Imagine, for example, that your anger is fiery streams passing through your body, but not touching your heart. You can imagine yourself as a quiet, calm lake, into the serene waters of which the interlocutor begins to throw stones. A pleasant sound of a splash is heard from each pebble, small circles are visible, they diverge, and peace comes again.

Be smarter

There are people among us who are called energy vampires... They deliberately try to unbalance you in order to feed on your negative emotions, devastating you. They will provoke you into a quarrel, a scandal, put pressure on the most sore spots, humiliate people dear to you. Do not pay attention! Don't give such a person what he wants to achieve. Why would you need to feed this vampire your own blood? Respond politely and with a cheerful tone if possible. Imagine that you are feeding a vampire pickles with honey. He will understand that his games will not work with you.

About masculine feelings

It is very difficult sometimes to hide your love. Girls are usually more shy, they blush, turn pale, become confused, they may even stumble upon seeing a loved one. And the beloved guy hides his feelings more skillfully. Why it happens? How do they do it and why?

It often happens that even after starting a relationship, men begin to behave like insensitive creatures. Beloved day after day expects from him gentle words, gentle hugs, sighs in love ... and already begins to doubt his reciprocity. But this does not mean at all that he fell out of love.

So why does a man hide his feelings?

1. He needs it so much. He simply maintains the status of courageous and confident, because in our society it is customary to be sentimental only to women. In fact, the stronger sex is no less emotional than the weaker sex.
2. Fear of appearing weak. A man thinks that if he shows a woman how much he is in love with her, then she will decide that he is weak. Or he will quickly lose all interest in him. So they want to seem more indifferent.
3. Manipulation. Also, a man believes that if he shows the full depth of his feelings, he will immediately become henpecked and the woman will freely manipulate him, limiting his freedom.
4. Addiction. It manifests itself sexually. Men are more dependent on intimacy than women, but they try to hide it so that we don't guess what power we have over them.

Now you know how a man hides his feelings. This is done not only by the stronger sex, because every day we are faced with the need to remain silent where we want to say a couple of "gentle" words, to hide our aversion to performance difficult work, do not show your attitude towards an unpleasant person and just pretend that everything is in order with us. Each of us understands that if all people showed their emotions, the world would have embraced chaos long ago, clarifications, screams and scandals would be heard everywhere. This is why it is so important to be able to control the situation.

V Everyday life between people, due to the difference in temperaments, conflict situations often occur. This is due, first of all, to the excessive emotionality of a person and a lack of self-control. emotions? How to “get the best” of your own feelings and thoughts during a conflict? Psychology provides answers to these questions.

What is self-control for?

Restraint and composure is something that many people lack. They come to this over time, constantly training and improving their skills. Self-control helps you achieve a lot, and the least of this list is inner peace of mind. How to learn to control your emotions, and at the same time prevent intrapersonal conflict? To understand that it is necessary and to find agreement with your own "I".

Control over emotions does not allow the aggravation of the conflict situation, it allows you to find with completely opposite personalities. To a greater extent, self-control is necessary to establish relationships with people, it does not matter, business partners or relatives, children, lovers.

The impact of negative emotions on life

Disruptions and scandals in which it is released negative energy, have a detrimental effect not only on the people around them, but also on the instigator himself conflict situations... your negative emotions? Try to avoid conflicts and not succumb to provocations from other people.

Negative emotions destroy harmonious relationships in the family, hinder the normal development of the personality and career growth... After all, few people want to cooperate / communicate / live with a person who does not control himself and at every opportunity starts a large-scale scandal. For example, if a woman cannot control herself and constantly finds fault with her man, which leads to serious quarrels, then soon he will leave her.

In raising children, it is also important to restrain yourself and not give vent to negative emotions. The child will feel every word spoken by the parent in the heat of anger, and subsequently will remember this moment for the rest of his life. Psychology helps to understand how to learn to restrain emotions and prevent their manifestation in communication with children and loved ones.

Business and work activities are also affected by negative emotions big influence... The team always consists of people of different temperaments, therefore self-control plays here important role: Negativeness can spill out at any moment when a person is pressured, demanding to do overwhelming work. And instead of the usual dialogue, where the parties can come to a consensus, a scandal develops. How to learn to control emotions in the workplace? Do not react to the provocations of employees, try to strike up a casual conversation, agree with the authorities in everything, even if the tasks are difficult to accomplish.

Emotion suppression

Constantly holding yourself within certain limits and preventing the release of negativity is not a panacea. Suppressing accumulates negativity in itself, and therefore, the risk of developing psychological diseases increases. Negativity must be periodically "splashed out" somewhere, but so that the feelings of other people do not suffer. How to learn to restrain emotions, but without harm to inner peace? Go in for sports, since during training a person spends all his internal resources, and the negative quickly goes away.

For the release of negative energy, wrestling, boxing, hand-to-hand combat... It is important here that a person mentally wants to give vent to his emotions, then he will feel relief and he will not want to break down on anyone. However, it should be borne in mind that everything should be in moderation, and overwork during training can provoke a new influx of negativity.

Two ways to keep your emotions in check:

• Do you dislike a person so much that you are ready to destroy him? Do this, but, of course, not in the literal sense of the word. At the moment when you became uncomfortable from communicating with him, mentally do whatever you want with this person.
• Draw a person you hate and write on a piece of paper next to the picture of the problems that have appeared in your life thanks to him. Burn the sheet and mentally put an end to your relationship with this person.

Prophylaxis

How to learn to control emotions? Psychology gives the following answer to this question: prevention, in other words, emotional hygiene, is necessary to control your feelings and emotions. Like the human body, his soul also needs hygiene and disease prevention. To do this, you need to protect yourself from communicating with people who cause dislike, and, if possible, avoid conflicts.

Prevention is the most gentle and optimal way control over emotions. She does not require additional training human and specialist intervention. Preventive measures allow you to protect yourself from negativity and nervous breakdowns for a long time.

The main thing that helps to gain the upper hand over your emotions is over own life... When a person is satisfied with everything in his house, work, relationships, and he realizes that at any moment he can influence and adjust all this for himself, then it is easier for him to restrain the manifestation negative emotions... There are a number of preventative rules to help you manage your feelings and thoughts. How to learn to control your emotions and control yourself? Follow simple rules.

Unfinished business and debts

Complete all planned tasks in a short time, do not leave the work unfinished - this can cause a delay in deadlines, while provoking negative emotions. You can also reproach with "tails", indicate your incompetence.

In financial terms, try to avoid delays in payments and debts - this is exhausting and interferes with achieving your goal. The understanding that you have not repaid a debt to someone causes negativity, helplessness in the face of the prevailing circumstances.

The absence of debts, both financial and other, allows you to fully spend your own energy resources and forces, directing them to the realization of desires. A sense of duty, on the other hand, is a hindrance to mastering self-control and achieving success. How to learn to restrain emotions and control yourself? Eliminate debts in a timely manner.

Cosiness

Make yourself comfortable workplace, furnish your home to your liking. Both at work and at home, with your family, you should be comfortable - nothing should cause irritation or any other negative emotions.

Time planning

Try to correctly make plans for the day, strive to ensure that you have a little more time and resources to carry out the tasks set than you need. This will avoid the negative associated with the constant lack of time and worries about the lack of finances, energy and strength for work.

Communication and workflow

Avoid contact with unpleasant people wasting your personal time. Especially with individuals who are called "energy vampires" - they take up not only time, but also your strength. If possible, try not to intersect with overly temperamental people, as any wrong remark directed in their direction can provoke a scandal. How to restrain your emotions in relationships with other people? Be polite, do not exceed your authority, do not overreact to criticism.

If your job brings you nothing but negative emotions, then you should think about changing your place of work. Earning money to the detriment of your soul and feelings, sooner or later, will lead to a breakdown and upset of mental balance.

Marking borders

Mentally create a list of things and actions that cause negative emotions in you. Draw an invisible line, a line that cannot be crossed by anyone, not even yourself to a loved one... Make a set of rules to restrict people from communicating with you. Those who truly love, appreciate, and respect you will accept such requirements, and those who oppose attitudes should not be in your environment. To communicate with outsiders, develop a special system that will avoid violating your boundaries and creating conflict situations.

Physical activity and introspection

Sports activities will bring not only physical health but also mental balance. Do sports from 30 minutes to 1 hour a day, and your body will quickly cope with negative emotions.

Conduct at the same time analyze everything that happens to you during the day. Ask yourself questions about whether you did the right thing in a given situation, whether you talked to the right people, whether you had enough time to complete the work. This will help not only to understand yourself, but also in the future to eradicate communication with unnecessary people that cause negativity. your own emotions, thoughts and goals allows you to fully develop self-control.

Positive emotions and prioritization

Develop in yourself the ability to switch from negative to positive emotions, try to see the positive sides in any situation. How to learn to control emotions in relationships with family and strangers? Be more positive, and this will help you win over your own temper.

A well-chosen goal is a great help in achieving self-control. When you are on the verge of an outburst of negative emotions, imagine that as soon as you stop being nervous and paying attention to provocations, your dreams will begin to come true. Only realistic, achievable goals should be chosen.

Environment

Take a close look at the people around you. Is there any benefit in communicating with them? Do they bring you happiness, warmth and kindness, do they make you happy? If not, then the answer is obvious, you urgently need to change your social circle, switch to individuals who carry positive emotions... Of course, it is unrealistic to do this in the workplace, but at least limit yourself from communicating with such people outside the workspace.

In addition to changing the environment, expanding your circle of friends will help you develop self-control. This will give you new opportunities, knowledge and a positive charge for a long time.

There are situations when we just need a figurehead. You can, of course, buy glasses with a nose and a mustache, but we don't think they will understand you correctly. So you better use our advice. They will help you hide your emotions at the right moment.

Tomatoes and lemons

Psychologists say that the hardest thing to hide is embarrassment and disgust. There are people who, even in situations of extreme embarrassment, will never blush. And there you are - blushing at any compliment from a more or less nice young man.

In fact, embarrassment manifests itself in everyone, just in different ways (for example, palms sweat). But it's easier to hide it than a crimson complexion, you must admit. It will not be possible to completely avoid this, but to reduce the brightness of the "coloring" is quite. You need to convince yourself that others do not care about your flaming cheeks. More often than not, this is true. You can also use the techniques that are often offered on acting courses for emancipation.

Their essence is to artificially create situations that will cause embarrassment. You can, for example, stand at the exit of the metro and ask: "Can you tell me how to get on the metro?" Get ready to look at you like a fool. But after the fifth or sixth time, the embarrassment will recede, and you will get a taste. Such training will make you feel much more confident. Now let's move on to the lemons. Disgust is best demonstrated by your twisted mouth - when the muscles of your face involuntarily contract into a grimace at the sight of something unpleasant.

The best way to hide disgust is to abstract from the object that causes this feeling. Draw in imagination small house with a fireplace and yourself in it, a large teddy bear or a porous chocolate bar the size of a brick. Simply put, what calms you down. A more radical way is to pinch your hand (the shock of pain will make your brain switch, and your face will return to its normal state).

Laughter through tears

Why, when you can't cry in any way, you urgently need a paper handkerchief, and when in absolute silence someone very important is broadcasting something serious, are you ready to burst into laughter for any reason? This is the action of the "no" law. Our body constantly needs an adrenaline rush, and if you do not jump with a parachute on Sundays, then the adrenaline rush occurs in this way.

We all have a scheme since childhood: if it is impossible, then you need to get this item immediately. Tell yourself: you can laugh and cry too. In any situation. You will see that you will not want to laugh and cry less. There are a couple of ageless ways to hold back tears. The first is to count to ten in your head, with breaks for, say, a sausage.

No, no, you don't need to run to the refrigerator. It will look like this: "One - sausage - two - sausage - three ..." And since we're talking about food, it also helps to cope with tears. Carry something sweet, like candy, in your purse for this occasion. The second way is to remember a funny story.

Much has been said about the benefits of laughter, but nevertheless sometimes it's just rude to laugh. Switching your attention will help you to hold back. If you feel that laughter is already approaching, turn sharply away from the object of laughter and multiply in your mind seven by thirty-six, take a deep breath, and then remember the first stanza of Blok's "Stranger". You can also draw something in a notebook or try to compose a song.

Terribly interesting

Sometimes you have to hide such a thing as interest. Boys don't like it when girls pay too much attention to them. Still, they are hunters, and we are victims - and this formula has strengthened over the centuries. To hide your interest, try to stay away from the object of desire, talk more quietly, and do not fiddle with your clothes.

For all of the above actions speak of your uneasy attitude towards him. If the hand is still reaching out to twist a lock of hair (at a subconscious level - a sexual appeal), take something in your hand. You will be surprised, but it is easiest to hide the fear. The manifestations of fear are not as obvious as other emotions: dilated pupils, stiffness of the whole body, slight dizziness. Naturally, if you have to go on stage in a minute, and your arms and legs don't want to obey, that's not very good. The first step is to try to identify the causes of the fear.

Maybe you are shaking from clowns, because as a child, your parents showed you a film about a killer clown and an immature consciousness, then absorbed this information, to this day they all associate with creepy monsters? If there is no time for self-digging, there is another, much more quick way... Promise yourself something very pleasant - like replenishing your wardrobe with new shoes if you can overcome yourself now.

A smile will also help to hide fear - the fact is that when our lips fold into a smile, a signal is sent to the brain that means peace and tranquility. Then the brain reduces the emotional load on your body, all limbs relax, the tongue begins to function normally again, and you are the queen.

Ask a psychologist

Hello! I am 16 years old and I constantly hide my feelings and emotions. I got used to this since childhood, I realized that it is easier to cope with some problems this way. Pretending that everything is fine, you involuntarily begin to believe in it yourself. I pay only if there is a good reason. Even when it is very sad, but I understand that the problem is not terrible, I cannot cry. And only recently, this ability of mine not to betray my emotions began to scare me. (I must note that I suppress only bad emotions, I do not want anyone to think that everything is bad with me) I am one of those people who are always very cheerful, energetic, and about whom it is impossible to think that they are sad. Even to my very close people, friends, I do not say that I feel bad. Sometimes I sob all night, and then I go to school very cheerful, but my heart is sad. It happens later, after a while, to someone that then then, then there were problems, it was hard. And I am usually asked why I didn’t say right away, and how is it even possible to pretend that everything is fine, when in fact everything is very bad, and I myself don’t know. I don’t know what to do about it. In addition, I began to notice that the feelings that I hide later do not have to be hidden: they simply disappear. It seems to me that soon I will not have to pretend, because I am becoming indifferent, I am becoming heartless. I hope you can help me

Psychologists' Answers

Marina, it's good that you sounded the alarm about your condition in time. Yes, you have correctly noted that there is an inverse relationship between the external expression of emotion and the internal state. Not only ours internal state evokes emotion, but the outward manifestation of emotion can also evoke an inner state that corresponds to that emotion! This was established by American psychologists (so they all walk and smile totally in public). So, if you "hammer" your feelings, not letting them express themselves in facial expressions, external appearance and behavior, then over time they will really start to disappear from the palette of your experiences!

There is also such a term among psychologists as the "congruence" of emotions and experiences - this is how accurately the emotions that a person expresses (by facial expressions first of all) correspond to his real experiences. There is a simple exaggerated example to understand the meaning of "congruence" - if a boy likes a girl and for this reason pulls her pigtails, then this means that the congruence of his experience and his behavior in connection with this is out of the question!

Just try to be yourself. If you are sad or annoyed, or you feel sorry for someone - behave naturally. You are a living person and have the right to different feelings and emotions, like everyone else.

Best regards, online psychologist Pokolova Yanina (Arkhangelsk)