Spanish psychologists have found out that in order to manipulate a woman, it is enough for a man to smile pleasantly at her. It turns out that women are more sensitive to body language than the usual forms of verbal communication.

Scientists at the Spanish University came to this conclusion after a series of experiments. The purpose of the experiments was to reveal how a man's smile affects a woman's attitude towards him. In one of the tasks, a man had to play a leading role, and women had to obey him. It turned out that if a man gave his orders with a smile, then the women obeyed him with great desire and willingness. A positive attitude towards a smiling man did not change even after he made unpleasant remarks or statements.

Patty Wood, an expert in the field of body language, explained that women do not believe more in the words of men, but in their gestures, behavior, facial expressions, body movements. Moreover, even if the words of a man are opposite to the behavior, then for the perception of a woman will be the primary body language of the male. That is, if a man communicates with a woman, smiling, then she will perceive him more kindly, despite what he says.

For women who don't want to be manipulated, the expert has provided some advice. A woman should clearly understand what she wants from a particular man and should not look into the eyes of the interlocutor for too long and smile at him too much.

Wood, explaining his words, argues that a woman with her smile can put herself in a dependent position on a man, whose next step will be manipulation. In addition, if you make an important remark or suggestion with a smile, then most likely it will not be taken seriously. The psychologist also advises women to be tougher control your behavior and not react to the body language displayed by the man.

Finding a middle path between a more conscientious new age guy and full of life and strength of a primitive warrior. The male heart strives to where there is nothing artificial ...

What should be a man? And how to become one?.. Qualities, tasks, goals, desires of a real man.

The desire for adventure, with its attendant dangers and thrills, is inherent in the soul of every man.

The male heart longs for a place where there is nothing artificial, modeled, fat-free, zipped, licensed, online, heated in the microwave. Where there is no report deadline, mobile phones or meetings.

Where there is room for the soul. There, finally, where the surrounding nature corresponds to the nature of his heart.

In the heart of every man there are several basic questions that must be answered:

Who am i? What was created for? What is my purpose?

Fear keeps a man at home, where everything is clear, all things lie in their places and are under his control. But a man cannot find answers to his deepest questions at the TV screen or on the refrigerator shelf. If a man wants to understand who he really is, wants to understand why he came into this world, he needs to go on a journey. He needs his heart back. The soul yearns for passion, freedom, life. As D. Lawrence said, "I am not a mechanism." A man needs to feel earthly rhythms; he needs to hold something tangible in his hands - the tiller of a boat, the reins, a rough rope, or just a shovel. Can a man go through life keeping his nails clean and tidy? Is this what every boy dreams of?

A man over the past ... twenty years has become more intelligent, more subtle. But this process did not make him freer. The world has become a much better place for "soft men" - they are loving beings, but such harmonious men are unhappy at heart, because they are forced to be passive.

Society as a whole cannot decide what to do with men. Having spent the last thirty years making men more circumspect, sensitive, manageable and even feminine, it now scolds them for losing their masculinity. The boys are incorrigible, we sigh. As if if a man becomes truly adult, he loses his wanderlust, his wildness and forever settles at home. "Where have the real men gone?" is a common topic for talk shows and books today. But how can a man know that he is a man if his main goal is to watch his manners?

The return of a man to his origins, to the foundations of his masculinity is a search for a middle path between a more conscious, “sensitive guy of a new era” and a primitive warrior full of life and strength. Robert Bly, author of Iron John.

There have always been initiation rites that go back ten or twenty thousand years to Northern Europe. task wild man was to teach young boys how complex, varied and multifaceted the male lot. In this case, the abilities of his long-dead ancestors are revived in the boy's body, and his mind inherits the spiritual power that developed and accumulated many millennia before his birth.

Many spend twenty or thirty years of their lives "rootless"; in their imagination, such men do not associate themselves with anything specific. But in order for a man to become whole, something must first open him up. The essence of male initiation ceremonies in all cultures is the forced, forcible discovery of the dark side.

In modern society, there are no structures of initiation (initiation) left, and young people can enjoy their freedom for several years, expressing their essence in rude behavior, quarrels with parents (especially towards mother), in attention-grabbing clothes and music. Millions of men have grown up in an environment of female energy, which in itself is not a problem, but boys also need male company for reasonable aggression.

When God created a man, He had some kind of plan, and if he wants to find himself in this world, he needs to understand this plan. What did He put in a man's heart?

There are three desires that the author of the book "Iron John" found in the depths of his heart, which he could not neglect (and does not advise others to do) without losing his soul. They define "who I am, who I am, and who I want to become." These desires are the same for all men, they are the key to understanding masculinity as such, the qualities of a real man. They may be suppressed, forgotten or replaced by something else, but in the heart of every man there is a desperate desire to win the battle, experience the adventure and save the beauty. Movies that men like, what men do in free time, the strongest desires of the boys - testify to this.

Every man wants to be a hero. Of course, this desire can be quelled if neglected for years, and a man may feel unprepared for the battle he knows lies ahead of him. But it doesn't go anywhere. If a man is taught only that he must be kind, then he may lose his heart from the wounds that he will receive during his life.

The desire for adventure lies in the heart of every man. It's not just about wanting to "have fun". Adventure is a test, a mission where his powers are tested. And although he may be frightened by the upcoming test, he nevertheless strives to pass it to make sure that it is within his power. If a man has lost the desire for adventure and says that they do not interest him, it is only because he does not know if he has the strength to survive them, does not believe that he will stand the test of strength. So he comes to the conclusion that it's not worth trying.

Nothing inspires a man to heroic deeds like a beautiful woman. It's not just that a man needs to win a battle, he needs someone to fight for. The battle itself is never enough, it must be meaningful. It's not enough to just be a hero; it is important for a man to be a hero for someone, for the woman he loves.

At the same time, not every woman wants to win the battle, but everyone wants to be fought for. In addition, a real woman wants a man to share the adventure with her. Finally, every woman wants to have beauty that will be revealed. They will not invent for themselves, but will reveal. A man needs to know that he is strong; he needs to know that he can handle the difficulties. A woman needs to know that she is beautiful; she needs to know that she is worth fighting for.

The way a man can fully realize himself and gain masculinity is by concentrating on “one valuable thing” (an idea, a person, a task, a question) and deciding to follow it at all costs. When he makes a clear choice, the "prince" inside him wakes up and the power of the "warrior" finally finds its use.

Based on the book "Iron John" by Robert Bly

And these cunning women use sexuality as a means of manipulating such a weak stronger sex, and delicious food, and beautiful eyes, and promising phrases ... But you never know? And, meanwhile, the situation is somewhat different.

There are just as many men who manipulate women, but their methods of influence are much more merciless and unscrupulous. Because the goal of female manipulation is marriage, and male manipulation is intended for somewhat different purposes.

Well, more on that. Let's talk about how men manipulate women in more detail.

Manipulator. What is he?

In our life, there are often situations when a man, knowing that a woman loves him selflessly, begins shamelessly using this love. There are quite a few such male manipulators, and often they turn loving women in dumb lambs, which, in the end, are either abandoned or made their victim for life. Of course, there are women for whom the role of a victim is quite suitable, and they are ready to endure psychological, and sometimes even physical bullying from their chosen one. long years. Such a life, of course, turns into continuous flour, however, for the "sheep" this flour is preferable to the loss of a loved one.

Well, well, each of us has a choice ... Such women, of course, can only be pitied. Usually these are sincere, trusting and conscientious people with low self-esteem, experiencing extreme psychological dependence on their partner. Manipulating them is easy and even pleasant. However, even self-sufficient and quite self-confident ladies can fall into the clutches of a manipulator and unwittingly become one of his victims. If such a lady understands in time that her lover is trying to control her, she begins to resist. And then the man either retreats and leaves, or falls in love with her, losing his head. Well, if not, then over time she becomes weak and vulnerable, obeying any of his whims and forgiving all sins. How can you define a manipulator?

The main qualities of a manipulator

As we have already said, conscientious and gullible women are the most frequent victims of manipulators. These wonderful human qualities turn into a real disaster for their owner when they meet with an experienced manipulator, who is able to determine who is in front of him almost immediately after they meet.

The manipulator, who has perfectly mastered the art of seducing women, usually at the first meeting asks penetrating questions about various aspects of a lady's life, trying to find the weak points of her character.

A sincere and trusting woman willingly tells him almost everything about herself, without hiding the negative aspects of her past. This is her main mistake. A manipulator needs just such information - in the future, at the slightest opportunity, he will begin to reproach the poor fellow for this or that misconduct from the past. He constantly reminds her of what she is ashamed to remember, in order to instill a sense of guilt in the poor fellow. And she, of course, will feel more and more guilty. And, in the end, she will begin to forgive her lover a lot, because she, in comparison with him, is a worthless and insignificant creature. What does he expect from her...

How can a woman be if she is, in fact, a person, decent and kind? Turn into an evil bitch? Yes, nothing like that! Even this kind of manipulation of a woman is quite preventable. She just needs to add to her positive qualities a little insight and common sense and try to consider your chosen one from all sides.

True manipulators are usually self-confident, cynical, self-sufficient and pragmatic. These are selfish men who have absolutely no sense of guilt.

Of course, for the time being, until the prey is caught in their nets, they will not demonstrate these qualities. As a rule, manipulators are well aware of the psychology of seducing women, and they skillfully play the role of a romantic, sympathetic and understanding person who can be completely trusted. They may try to arouse pity or allegedly sincerely list their unseemly deeds, demonstrating with all their appearance. This is done only in order to provoke a woman to complete frankness and learn as much more about her.

Varieties of male manipulation

Men's manipulations are designed for the emotionality of women. They have a very popular technique - significant pauses in the conversation, which are accompanied by a testing and penetrating look. A woman who is waiting for the dialogue to continue usually cannot stand such a pause and tries to fill it. If she is naive, then she may even unexpectedly begin to make excuses or agree with what she should not agree with. As a result, any phrase uttered by her will begin to work against her. Such pauses cause anxiety and embarrassment in women, in this state, my dear ladies, it is quite easy to manage us.

Another favorite technique of manipulators - experts in the psychology of seducing women - is delaying the wait for an indefinite period. For example, feeling that a woman will be very happy to meet again, they may disappear from her life for a while, not call or appear. And after she, exhausted by the expectation, loses her last hope, the manipulator suddenly appears, explaining his absence by urgent matters, illness, a business trip, and so on. And she willingly believes any legend, not wanting to lose him and relive the painful uncertainty and loneliness.

This approach is explained quite simply. If a man returns to a woman quickly, she still has the strength to part with him forever. But then, when the expectation completely exhausts her, there is simply no such strength left for resistance. The unexpectedly returned manipulator seems to the yearning lady as a gift of fate, from which it is already impossible to refuse. If she has a weak will and extreme amorousness, then, as a result, she falls into psychological dependence on her partner, which is very difficult to get out of.

Many male manipulators prefer never to give the exact time of a meeting with a woman, referring, for example, to the occurrence of unforeseen difficulties in the service.

A woman, considering such a man to be businesslike and tactful, willingly agrees to wait for him for several hours in a row. Without suspecting it herself, she begins to learn patience, the lesson of which he, in fact, teaches her. And the more she waits for the next meeting with him, the more she falls in love. And thus becomes ready to accept all his further antics.

There is only one way out of such situations: each of us, regardless of character, should develop self-sufficiency in ourselves, trying to find a favorite thing. It should occupy the main part of the mental space, which will help to minimize all internal torment in separation from a beloved man.

Manipulators, no matter how decent and sincere they may seem, are actually very cruel and power-hungry people. Outwardly, they may seem simple and sociable people, but at the same time they have a very great potential for ruthless managers who easily subdue inexperienced women. Often manipulators play the role of such an infantile boy, not responsible for your actions. Having committed some kind of offense, such an adult child only smiles innocently, skillfully subjugating women of the maternal type.

There are quite a few male methods of manipulating the female consciousness, but they have one goal - to make a woman feel guilty for her own imperfection and admit that, for example, she is poorly educated, hysterical, stupid, fat, old, dissolute, and so on. The manipulator tries to change the woman's value system and win over her in every way. As a result, in the psyche of a woman there is a substitution of concepts, in which any, even the most unseemly act, of a lover, is interpreted in a way that is convenient for him. For example, the constant betrayal of a loved one is perceived by a woman as his lack of complexes, his neglect of household chores and inattention to her - personal independence, and so on.

How to deal with manipulators

Oddly enough, but manipulators, despite the suffering they bring, women love infinitely. They are ready to follow such a lover to the ends of the earth, completely abandoning their own benefits. The phenomenon of such love and devotion is explained simply: manipulators know how to play on contrasting feelings, either slipping away or reappearing. They are almost never easy prey, so they do not bother, maintaining a constant interest in themselves. In reality, this interest is not justified by anything: manipulators are just slippery and unscrupulous types, living only for their own good. They are extremely unreliable and can betray at any moment without much hesitation.

If we have already managed to get into the network of a manipulator, we should remember that it is impossible to change it. These pragmatic and cruel people, even if they constantly talk about their seemingly sincere feelings, are simply not capable of unconditional love. And in order not to completely disappear, submitting to the influence of such men, you need something to oppose their consumer attitude towards yourself.

In principle, a woman who has good willpower and is able to consciously approach what is happening to her may well make a manipulator her psychological coach. To do this, you need to learn to look at relationships from the outside and never accept a partner with all your heart. And this is a good way to develop self-control and learn to control your own feelings. In addition, if you choose the most effective way salvation from male manipulation, you can once fully realize the degree of your independence and originality.

However, not all of us are capable of this. Manipulative men, as a rule, are unusually charming, and it is very difficult to resist their internal and external charm. Therefore, those women who have not been able to escape the pernicious influence of such a man, if they intend to continue their relationship with him, should know his weaknesses. Usually the most vulnerable of them, pride, requires constant satisfaction. As soon as a woman turns into a silent adoring slave, - and it's in the bag, the manipulator is satisfied. If not, and she intends to maintain relations on an equal footing, she will have to constantly develop herself as a person and learn to control her chosen one.

How? First, manipulators, no matter how difficult it may be, sometimes need to fray a little nerves by disappearing from their field of vision. Let them mark a little when a friend does not answer calls or replies to proposals to meet that she is busy. Secondly, it is necessary to exclude pity for the manipulator in oneself - this is a strong, full-fledged person, quite capable of doing without it. And, finally, thirdly, not to believe his lofty assurances of eternal love - as we have already said, for manipulators this feeling does not exist.

In a word, you can learn how to resist self-manipulation from the manipulator himself. If he makes us wait, let us make him wait. If he declares that he has business, such cases should appear with us. He is self-confident and self-sufficient - let us become self-sufficient and gain self-confidence.

After all, we are the most valuable thing we have! So why allow yourself to be destroyed even by very close people and turn into a weak-willed dependent person who cannot count on the sincere affection of a manipulator?

Moreover, he is, in general, hardly capable of such affection ...

Conclusion: it is possible to avoid strong influence from a manipulator, even if he is very attractive to us. It is enough to love yourself and take an active life position. Of course, provided that we do not like to be a passive victim. Otherwise, we are preparing for eternal Golgotha. There is always a choice.

Zodiac signs differ in their characteristics. Some of them can boast of impulsiveness, others prefer a melancholic lifestyle and communication. If you have found your potential soul mate, it will not be superfluous to study the features of his behavior and understand what kind of women the object of your adoration loves.

The fair sex does not stop puzzling over how to conquer the scales of a man and forever take possession of his heart. If you have fallen under the spell of this zodiac sign, then you should know that Libra men love to be surrounded by friends, admirers and other admirers. But this does not mean that this zodiac sign is ready to let anyone into his soul, on the contrary, hiding behind courtesy and charm, he will leave the personal topic so that his interlocutor will not even understand this.

The character of Libra men is light, which allows him to establish good relations with everyone. In addition to the natural ability to communicate, the representatives of the stronger sex, born under the sign of Libra, are distinguished by an exceptional style of dress.

What does a Libra man look like.

Libra men are charming seducers, who are more suitable for the synonym "animal in an Armani suit." They always dress with a needle, but sometimes, having overdone it, they look like conceited smarties. It is not surprising that, answering the question “what kind of women do men like Libra”, everything is very clear - they like the same stylish and charming girls.

Some scales outwardly may seem simpletons, but believe me - this is only an optical illusion, since these comrades do not hold wisdom and cunning.

Libra man in a relationship.

Man Libra readily creates a romantic atmosphere, takes his girlfriend to expensive restaurants and chic resorts. And telephone conversations in which he confesses his love with the most beautiful words conquer women's hearts in a matter of days. But, it is worth understanding that despite all this romanticism man Libra in a relationship is looking for an ideal. Most often, the magical surroundings do not have something serious under them. Although the seducer talks about serious things, he is in no hurry to bind himself with serious obligations.

If your character is somewhat hot-tempered and you like dramas with broken dishes and things thrown onto the stairs, then the Libra man is not your type, or rather, you are not his. Such comrades do not accept emotional grenades in a relationship. Libra men love and appreciate harmony and peace.

Enamored man Libra, whose behavior always remains gallant, will look for the ideal partner to the last, and if he finds one, he will literally carry his chosen one in his arms. Libra in love will endure any whims and desires. The life of his beloved, in all details will interest him. But, all this is possible only if the lover of the ideal really loves.

There is another important point - a Libra man in a relationship can doubt his feelings and begin to analyze everything that happens. Loving his freedom, he may be afraid of such closeness, and in this case he may suddenly become cold and inaccessible, tangling a tangle of uncertainty around him.

How to surprise a Libra man in bed.

Romance drives this sign in every way, so Libra men in sex are also distinguished by good knowledge of their partner. Despite the fact that Libra men are temperamental in bed, they can both take the initiative and let the woman be in charge. The main thing for this zodiac sign is to achieve harmony and complete unity of feelings, which is not typical for every sign.

In order to understand how to surprise a Libra man in bed, it is enough to know what he appreciates in this area of ​​effort. Excessive passivity and detachment are not interesting to him, so the women of the "log" quickly lose his interest. To conquer such a comrade in intimate life you have to be versatile. Sometimes to be able to listen and spend a lot of time foreplay, and at some point to succumb to animal instinct.

There are several rules for seducing the scales:

Libra loves to be pursued, and the more interest he sees from his partner, the more interest she can ignite. And in no case do not ask such a man how to seduce him, he loves games, and direct questions will lead you nowhere. Before you seduce a Libra man, decide for yourself whether you can always stay on top. Everything needs to be taken into account, especially smells and appearance. Libra, of course, will not “be led” only by a pleasant aroma and beautiful underwear, but this is precisely what can play a role in seducing such a picky person. Libra men love role-playing games and everything related to fantasy. Infantilism in bed will only kill all feelings and scare him away.

It is also worth considering that, as such, sexual contact is not interesting for this man. He is more important than emotions and what his eyes see. Therefore, if you play a whole performance by entering the chosen one, he will appreciate it.

Libra: a characteristic of the sign of a man in marriage.

If man Libra started talking about marriage - this also means that the game is over and you can relax, wind curlers and change into a tracksuit. On the contrary, now you will have to not only take care of yourself, but also maintain house in an ideal frequency, as such suitors place high demands on their wife. Scattered around things, the scales unbalance a man, and neither beautiful underwear nor a new haircut will help here.

If a housewife with a cucumber mask on her face is waiting for the scales at home, then he will appear at home as late as possible. Therefore, you should never forget about yourself.

Over time, the men of this sign do not lose interest in the female sex, so you should not hope that the cherished ring will be able to tie him to his wife. This sign is not inclined to betrayal, but he will never erase innocent flirting from his life and you will have to put up with it.

The scales are great. Man of this sign is ready to spend a lot of time playing with his child. True, this does not happen immediately after the birth of the child, but when he is 2-3 years old. Until then, the husband will shy away from any duties associated with caring for the offspring. Therefore, being the wife of Libra, be prepared that in the most difficult period it will completely fall on your shoulders.

If you do not interfere in the affairs of the scales and do not try to reproach him, he will become an excellent earner who will provide for his family. Libra men in marriage should be loved, they must be praised and admired for their success. If you "nag" such a comrade, then he will become closed and prefer not to do anything.

Libra men: how women should behave with them.

We figured out what a woman likes men on the scales, now it remains to understand how to behave with them.

Most importantly, be tactful, charming and just look stunning. Libra men appreciate a good sense of humor. Although these seducers can never understand themselves, they readily give advice to everyone around them, so listen carefully to their thoughtful reasoning. Even if you disagree, it is better not to voice it, as in this case your interlocutor will only get angry.

In order to attract the attention of the scales, you need to differ from the total mass. A true connoisseur will never miss a unique and valuable girl. If you combine the most incongruous things and characteristics that do not contradict the “politics” of the scales, he will show no hefty interest in your candidacy.

Despite the fact that these comrades love to be adored at first, it is better to keep a distance in order to warm up the interest of the proud zodiac sign.

Ideally, a Libra man wants to see a woman next to him who knows how to do everything. His half should be an excellent housewife, lover, support, companion and so on. If you were able to interest the scales, then he will change before his eyes and begin to shower you with compliments. It is important to remember that they do not know how to take the first steps, but they also do not accept excessive initiative from a woman. Therefore, with such a controversial comrade, you have to be savvy. You need to bring him to what you need, but do it not directly, but so that he does not guess that you were the initiator of any of his movements.

In custody.

It is important to remember that communication with friends is very important for Libra, so if you and all his friends are on the scales, then there is no guarantee that he will prefer a woman. Make friends with his loved ones and try to make them fall in love with you, then the love of the Libra man will be provided to you.

Women are fragile and weak creatures, but sometimes very insidious. There are some female psychological techniques for manipulating a man that you should know about.

1. Reception "Blow to the sore spot."

A woman knows the psychological pain points of a man. She purposefully reveals them, studies them, and sometimes even creates them. For example, she knows that you are very worried that you bought a car unsuccessfully, they slipped you a car that is listed as stolen. Be sure that in your next quarrel a phrase addressed to you will sound: “Yes, you are generally silent, you couldn’t even buy a normal car.”

2. Reception "We need to talk."

The essence of the reception is that the time for a conversation is chosen by a woman according to a single criterion. This will be the most inconvenient time for a man. For example, when he came home from work tired, and he does not have the strength to argue with a woman, you can start a conversation with him about where to go on vacation. He wants to stretch out on the couch, watch football and starve to death. And it will not be easy for him to defend his point of view, to select arguments. She needs to carry out a technological operation to psychologically break a man through his knee. She prepared, slept, worked out a list of claims and reproaches, tuned in, chose the moment when the man was most vulnerable and began her routine work of psychologically processing the victim. In the same way, in hand-to-hand combat, a professional fighter tries to choose the time and place of the fight as inconvenient as possible for the enemy. Put it so that the sun shines in his eyes and carry out a series of combat techniques. Technology. The woman is a professional psychological fighter.

The human brain is capable of simultaneously processing a finite amount of information. A person is capable of simultaneously solving a finite number of problems. For a woman, it is important that a man solve exactly those problems that are beneficial to her. Therefore, she loads the man’s brain with maximum intensity with information about her problems and the importance of solving them. A woman tries to load the thoughts and emotions of a man with herself in order to completely control him. He didn't have the mental resources to think about anything other than her and her problems.

4. Reception "Conversation in raised tones."

Intonation is a powerful control tool. Have you ever wondered why the tone of a woman's voice is on average higher than that of a man's? This is easily explained. People, when talking, not only communicate information to each other, but also signal in a tone about the degree of importance of this information. If the information is not reliable, then the tone is not confident. Normal - the tone is also normal. Information of increased importance (for example, about an approaching danger) - the tone rises. And finally, the highest step of priority is “powerful intonations”. The specific intonation coloring of the speech of the leader - a person who is used to commanding. Women have a higher timbre of voice in order to inform the subconscious of men of a high degree of priority for their information. And if the task not only comes from a woman, but is also, in her opinion, a priority, the woman still raises the timbre of her voice. To the screech. Sometimes - almost to the point of ultrasound, when it gives a signal about the danger that threatens her or her offspring.

For example, to argue her opinion, it is enough for a woman to say in a raised tone: “But what else!” and the man agrees. Although in this case he himself would have been forced to give a whole rationale.

For example, to show a man that he is wrong, it is enough for a woman to exclaim with hysterical intonations: “Yes, how can you!” (Options: “Yes, is it really possible!” “Yes, how your tongue turns!”, Etc.) And the man, without requiring more intelligible arguments, immediately bashfully retreats.

5. Reception "I am a small defenseless female in danger and troubles, protect me, O mighty male."

6. Reception "Confuse".

It is beneficial for a woman to hide the motivation of her actions from a man and push through her decision. Therefore, she tries to confuse the man, disarm him, neutralize his arguments. For example, one of my girlfriends, in the most unexpected part of the conversation, suddenly said: "Don't yell at me." While I was thinking about what was happening (after all, I spoke in an ordinary tone, and making excuses that I did not yell is stupid), I lost the chain of conversation. And she easily intercepted the initiative. A tougher option is to put pressure on a man's confidence in his adequacy. A man who doubts his own adequacy is not able to defend his point of view.

7. Reception "Tears".

A universal and very effective weapon that helps a woman to lie, and at the same time to bring up a guilt complex, play defenselessness, put the highest priority on her words, confuse a man, etc. are tears. As soon as a man begins to expose a woman in a lie or pretense, she immediately sheds tears, uttering oaths, and the man either believes or softens. And often he begins to believe that he himself is to blame, he brought the woman to tears. It is as easy for a woman to squeeze out a tear and sob as it is for a man to clear his throat.

8. Reception "Stop being capricious."

Humiliating laugh. If a man defends his interests, but it is not profitable for a woman, then the woman says something like: “Well, he was capricious.” A woman in this way demonstrates doubt in him, as in a strong male worthy of mating. May show offensive pity, showing him that he is pathetic. That is, she positions the behavior of a man as childish or flawed, not worthy of a “real man”. If a man is psychologically weak, then he stops defending his interests after such an impact.

9. Reception "A man is bad."

A woman usually gives out a huge amount of negative information about her or someone else's man. The purpose of such actions is complex. First, enlist the psychological support of others in advance, in case of a conflict with a man. Secondly, to declare that she, a woman, is good and right. Thirdly, give a signal “the female is in trouble, save.” Then there is a chance that some man will react and start saving. In this case, an additional source of income and services will appear. Fourthly, a man is cut off from mutual acquaintances. Acquaintances prefer to resolve issues with a "good" woman, and not with a "bad" man. Thus, a woman monopolizes communications with other people in her hands.

10. Reception "Involving outsiders in the discussion."

The technique is used in combination with the previous technique. A woman, if she needs to win a psychological victory over a man, attracts women or already processed men to her side. She says: “Well, look at him,” and then gives out unflattering characteristics about the man and interpretations and assessments of his behavior that are beneficial to her. Strangers involved in the dispute have an additional psychological impact on the man. Women - driven by corporate women's solidarity. Men are driven by the male instinct to protect the female.

11. Reception "Where have you been"(What did he do, what did he do, etc. With the advent of cellular communications, a new option appeared: “Where are you?”).

A woman needs a question in order to make a man "report". Reception positions her as a boss, and a man as a subordinate. And also to look for points in his answer that you can catch on. The next step is to get him to make excuses. A woman in dominance mode asks a question and does not remember the answer. Since the life of a man as such is no longer interesting to her. He is already subordinate. Managing it is a routine, and it is just working out the technology of psychological processing. The man's answer is not information worth remembering, but a reason to cling to it. A woman in lure mode, on the contrary, listens carefully and remembers the answers. She needs intelligence to carry out a psychic adjustment. To gain confidence in a man. Well, it provokes softer.

All these techniques, constantly used by many women, together create a general unhealthy emotional and informational background in society. To combat this, in balanced societies, a cult of respect for a man is introduced, and a man also has the opportunity to counter psychological pressure with physical strength.

In the case when there are too many women, and cultural and religious tradition does not counteract this background, the psychological pressure exerted on men is so intense that it turns into constant psychological persecution. What we see today around. It is enough to get into a women's company to hear enough stories "what men are bad." This will be the main theme. It is enough to turn on the TV to plunge into the atmosphere of hysterical defamation of the image of a man. Negative, negative and only negative is heard about men everywhere. This is the mechanism of information and psychological support for matriarchy.

Fragment from the book by Oleg Novoselov: “Woman. A book for men.

It is believed that every woman knows how to manipulate a man. But not all representatives of the weaker sex are aware of this and cannot always choose the right way to influence the psychology of a man. When they talk about manipulation, they almost always mean female cunning and its competent application in the right situations. The article will discuss how to manipulate a man, is it always possible to do this and what tactics to take.

manipulation is hidden impact on a person in order to encourage him to perform some action you need.

Features of manipulation

The person does not realize that he is being manipulated. If he begins to understand this, then most often he tries to resist.

Manipulation is always aimed at affecting the emotional sphere. Feelings are affected.

With skillful psychological influence, a person himself begins to want to perform the actions expected of him.

Manipulations can be divided into civilized (positive) and uncivilized (negative). In the first case, what a person is encouraged to do is beneficial both for himself (or neutrally) and for the manipulator. In the second case, manipulation is beneficial only to the one who influences, and adversely affects the personality of the partner. Speaking in the article about the psychological management of a man, we will reflect only civilized methods.

In what cases does a woman resort to manipulation?

1. When earlier she turned to a man with an open request for something, but was refused. Then the only way out for a woman sees a hidden effect on a man.
2. When he is embarrassed to ask for something or is afraid that a man will not agree to it.
3. When he wants to make a pleasant impression on his chosen one and seem different from what he really is, that is, to appear before him in a favorable light.
4. If a woman experiences difficulties in communicating with a partner due to his individual characteristics (for example, irascibility or secrecy), then she can use some "tricks" in the relationship.
5. For some, manipulation is a way of life, and they resort to such influence all the time without even thinking.

Many men, understanding the natural conditioning of female manipulation, even agree be subject to such influence. For them, it turns out to be more acceptable than open pressure from a woman. Women's cunning for such men is something attractive and mysterious. And many more believe that its presence in the fairer sex serves as a confirmation of the mind.

Weaknesses of the stronger sex

Male psychology is arranged in such a way that it has certain foci of arousal. When exposed to them, it is easier for a woman to control her partner.

• Sex.
• Femininity. The refinement, fragility of the fair sex automatically makes men want to take care of them, protect and protect them.
• Opportunity to raise self-esteem.
• The desire to be first.
• Emphasizing the merits of a man.
• Be generous, financially provide for a woman. This point, of course, does not apply to greedy men.

In any case, before you manipulate, you need to weigh everything and decide whether you can do without it and openly declare what you would like.

What to Avoid When Manipulating

• Rigid generalizing statements in the style: “You must”, “You must” or “All normal men do this”, otherwise it will leave a sediment in the soul of a man, he (consciously or not) will resist such pressure.
• The attitude towards a man should not be dismissive, arrogant. Otherwise, it looks like using it purely for selfish purposes, sucking energy and money out of a partner. There is no question of any civilized influence here. Manipulation by a man acquires in this case an exclusively negative connotation. It is highly discouraged to resort to such behavior, although, of course, it is up to you to decide.
• Obsessions. If you see that the method of influence you are using does not work, then you need to either try some other one, or wait a pause and choose a better time for your request.

Manipulation Rules

To learn how to manage a man, it is important to remember a few points:

No matter how skillfully you influence him and achieve your goals, you must always show attention and respect for a man. If your feelings are sincere, then manipulation will never be too harsh or go too far.

There is always a price to pay for manipulation. For example, constantly maintain an attractive appearance in order to please a man, or remain fragile and defenseless (even against her will), so that he always shows care and attention.

Women who are good at manipulation techniques will never leave a man with the feeling that he has been "turned around his finger." He must feel that the decision to which he was being pushed was made by him of his own free will. Learn to do just that.

The impact is effective only when a man is truly interested in you. Otherwise, it will be quite difficult to convince him of something, and he will absolutely not want to fulfill your intentions.

How to influence the psychology of a man

1. Before you begin to persuade a man to the desired decisions and actions, you need to give him something: praise, relieve him of some duties for a while, allow him to spend time with friends, etc.

1. Leave ambiguity. The behavior of a woman should always remain a mystery. It is necessary to take care that in your personality there is always some aspect “unknown” to a man. You need to share facts from your own life with him gradually, you can always keep silent about something.
2. When influencing a man, take care to look attractive and have a sexy appearance. This is one of the main weapons of a woman. It's no secret that at such moments a man's vigilance is reduced and his brain is seized by desire.
3. Reduce the distance in communication. Manipulating from a distance is much more difficult. Therefore, penetration into personal space is often used as a method of psychological influence. But from the side of a woman, this should not look like a rude intrusion. Approach slowly and gently. Touch can enhance pleasant emotions in a man and cause a positive attitude towards your words.
4. Show weakness. With all your appearance, you make the man understand that you need his strong shoulder and you need his help. Women's tears usually lead a man into confusion and even make him feel guilty. This already completely unclassified weapon is used by all representatives of the weaker sex to one degree or another. Usually women cry in order to arouse pity, to attract attention and get their way. The main thing is not to abuse tears, otherwise the man will only experience irritation when he sees sadness in your eyes, and will begin to avoid you.
5. It is necessary to give him the rights of the head in your pair. This idea is confirmed by the statement: "A man is a head, a woman is a neck." Being a leader (even an imaginary one) is in the blood of the representatives of the stronger sex. Let your chosen one play this role. It is especially important to emphasize the dominant position of a man in the presence of other people in order to amuse his pride and raise self-esteem.
6. Surround a man with care and affection. Be attentive to him, provide support, be interested in his affairs. A loving and tender woman is the dream of every man. With her, he will always feel comfortable, be able to relax and want to thank. It is also important for a man to see that you are an excellent housewife who masterfully leads the way of life and acts as a true keeper of the hearth. But the main thing here is not to overdo it, not to completely relax your betrothed and not to put him on your neck. Alphonses and lazybones can enjoy a similar position. It is important to recognize in time whether a man belongs to these categories.
7. Give a man a compliment and emphasize his dignity. In appearance, those characteristics that indicate masculinity should be noted. It is not worth talking about what a man has well-groomed nails or neat eyebrows. This will only confuse him. The phrases are quite suitable: “I don’t know anything more reliable than your strong hands” or “I love it so much when you play with your muscles!” It is also valuable for a man to emphasize his achievements, for example: “At your age, few manage to achieve so much.”
8. Indulge in delicious food. A woman who cooks well, as a rule, has more success with the stronger sex. With the help of a delicious meal, it is sometimes easy to influence a man.
9. Catch moments when a man is in a good mood. Then he is more inclined to do something nice for you. To begin with, it is better to strengthen his positive attitude (feed delicious food, invite somewhere, make a compliment, dress beautifully, etc. - as discussed above), and then pay attention to your “request”.
10. If a man is guilty of something (for example, he did not fulfill a promise, forgot a significant date, behaved rudely, etc.), you can pay attention to this by showing your resentment. As a sign of reconciliation, ask to fulfill your desire.
11. Do not provoke a man to experience negative emotions. If you know that some features of your behavior annoy him, try not to demonstrate them in front of him. Don't add fuel to the fire. Create the most favorable conditions for a man to feel comfortable being next to you. Try, for example, for a few days (as far as possible) to be the way he wants to see you. This will pleasantly surprise your chosen one, and, most likely, he will have a desire to do something meaningful for you. And you may like to behave in a new way, and the expected traits will be fixed in behavior.
12. In some situations, in order to attract attention, you can make your lover jealous of you. Catch the eyes of other men in his presence, tell him about colleagues who like you, start dressing a little more sexy when you go to work or to meet friends. In no case should you get carried away with this, otherwise the task - to cause jealousy - will develop into a sporting interest, and you will simply forget why you started such a game. In addition, the constant presence of jealousy between partners weakens trust and can easily destroy relationships.
13. In managing a man, using his own words and statements in communication with him can help you. So you will make it clear to your partner that you share his views and thereby amuse his pride.
14. A woman who has interests in common with a man, understands his hobbies, usually earns his respect and can quickly win him over. If you understand how your partner lives and easily support a conversation on this topic, then you will become for him not only a beloved woman, but also an interesting conversationalist with whom you can exchange views and spend your leisure time doing a joint hobby.
15. Sometimes it’s useful to disappear from a man’s field of vision for a while, to give him the opportunity to be without you. For example, a business trip or a trip to visit relatives in another city is suitable for these purposes. It is important to keep in touch with a man through phone calls and SMS messages. Perhaps, bored, he will want to make you a pleasant surprise and will be disposed to your requests and beliefs. It is better to practice such methods of influencing a man only when you are sure of the sincerity and seriousness of his feelings for you.

It is useful to read the article:.

How to learn to control a man by influencing different channels of information acceptance

We are talking about building interaction with a man depending on what type of people he is. refers to: visual, auditory, kinesthetic or discrete. Each of these types has a dominant channel for receiving information from the outside world.

visuals perceive most of the information coming from outside through vision. They are very attentive to details, they have a high voice, their gaze is directed forward or upward, they like to look into the eyes of the interlocutor, speech is most often clear and fast. Representatives of this type usually have increased gesticulation. A visual man carefully monitors his appearance and demands the same from his chosen one. He "loves with his eyes." When communicating, she uses such expressions as: “Let's see”, “I see that ...”, “He behaves ugly”, “Charming”, etc.

To win the heart of a male visual, first of all, you need to look good, be well-groomed and be able to emphasize your figure with the help of clothes. When communicating, look into his eyes and use the phrases: “Look”, “Look at the situation from the other side”, “You look at 100!” etc. For greater effectiveness of the impact, it is better to present some of the information visually: depict it schematically, show a photograph, pictures, videos. An additional channel is communication via SMS messages and emails.

Audials well perceive incoming information by ear. That is, they focus on speech. For such men, it is important to “discuss”, “talk”. They can be recognized by the phrases: “Do you hear?”, “It's noisy here”, “Tell me”, “It sounds unconvincing”, “I heard you”, etc. Audial men easily remember and reproduce in detail anecdotes, stories, stories, quotes from films. They often make excellent speakers. People of this type have a good ear, and music plays a significant role in their lives.

In order to influence an auditory man, in communicating with him you need to choose soft pleasant intonations, “play” with them, use a sexual tone. Praise your chosen one more often, compliment him, confess your love. During the conversation, you should carefully listen to the man, maintain a dialogue. During an important conversation with him, turn on the music that he likes. When communicating, use statements such as: "I want to tell you ...", "Listen", "Let's discuss", "Your offer sounds tempting", "I'm glad to hear it."

kinesthetic perceives the world through feelings and sensations. Touch is important to them. Kinesthetics try to surround themselves with convenience and comfort in everything: in clothes, environment. The gaze of representatives of this type is often directed downward, the voice is usually low, the pace of speech is rarely fast. May tend to be overweight. In the process of communication, male kinesthetics prefer to reduce the distance and often accompany the speech by touching the woman. Phrases they use: “I feel”, “I have a feeling that…”, “Heavy temper”, “Keep in touch”, “Keep composure” and others. Kinesthetic men emphasize sex and freedom in bed.

For a kinesthetic male, a woman must create comfortable conditions, use all kinds of touches (hugs, kisses, massage, stroking) when communicating, allow him to relax and rest more. Use statements: “We are very close”, “I love to feel your touch”, “You have warm hands”, “Do you feel good?”, “Do you feel?” Pamper your loved one with delicious food more often. Use pleasant smells: perfumes, aromatic oils and candles, creating a comfortable atmosphere when communicating.

Discrete (digital) perceives information through logical comprehension, deepening into the content. Numbers, signs, functionality are the basic units for situation analysis. People belonging to this type are most often quite closed and rarely the first to make contact. Discrets gesticulate very little, in general they behave with restraint. They are susceptible to criticism and vulnerable. In the speech of discrete men, one can hear the phrases: “It is worth thinking about”, “Logical”, “What is the point?”, “I think that ...”

With a discreet man, you cannot be intrusive, criticize and blame him. Communicate better in a calm tone, carefully and gently. It will be necessary to maintain logical conversations with him, to operate with facts. You will have to correctly argue your position, apply the skills of persuasion. When communicating with discretes, it is better to say the phrases: “Let's analyze”, “I can prove”, “The point is that ...”, “Firstly, ..., secondly, ...”

It is not always easy to immediately determine what type your man is. One must carefully observe his words and actions. Sometimes you have to try different behaviors towards him before you find the most effective way to influence.

As you can see, manipulation and normal behavior are sometimes very similar. The difference is that such an impact is always carried out with the aim of getting something from the person being manipulated, it is usually thought out, has a plan and an expected result. The danger of manipulation is that if a man understands why a woman smiled enigmatically, put on a stunning outfit, or prepared a delicious dinner, then he can further connect these actions with her desire to achieve something from him again. That is, it is likely that a man in this case will cease to consider such behavior of a woman disinterested. She may fall into the trap of her own manipulation. Therefore, it is definitely not worth abusing it.

In contact with

If you at least occasionally make online purchases (AliExpress, SportMaster, Bukvoed, Yulmart, etc.), then you should know about a great way to save money and even earn money.

How to manipulate a man

Do you want to learn how to manipulate a man with words? How to make them fulfill your desires and dreams? How to influence so that men themselves want to do what you need?

Ready to get a man's opinion about manipulating us? More than that, we love it. We want women to manipulate us.

man manipulation

manipulation is psychological impact on a man, a hidden trick, in order to force him, despite his interests, to perform the actions you need.

We divide this term into two classifications

1. Manipulation with a charge “-”. The man acts because Must.

When a woman manifests herself exclusively with selfish motives. When you squeeze out of a man what you can squeeze out, "without giving" anything in return.

Often used by women who believe that men, by definition, owe them. Because she is beautiful. Because the former cared just like that (... but “for some reason” over time, he also became a “goat”, although at first he was “not like everyone else”).

Manipulations with the “-” charge are doomed to failure sooner or later.

Just because normal men feel them a kilometer away.

I am texting hello. Beacon when it is convenient to speak. Yaroslav

Writes immediately - Ok) Is it convenient after 20 minutes?

I answer - Yes, beacons in 20 minutes

After 20 minutes it does not beacon. I write sms in style - say hello to the manipulation coach.

I felt uncomfortable. And even if the girl may be good at heart, but if at the very first stages she behaves like this, then what will happen then? Dear ladies, understand: if you have nothing to “give” to a man, then such chips will not help.

And if you are worthy, then what are these games for? Everything should be in moderation.

Wrong opinion.

Many women believe that the more she grimaces, doubts, does not trust a man, does not let her in - the more he will have a desire to please her, achieve, etc.

Yes, there are men who fall for it. But this is too primitive, short-term. Well, okay, he goes to this game, achieves.

Over time, emotions subside. Real life begins. The girl repeats a strategy that once worked. But here's the catch. This doesn't work anymore. After all, he has already achieved you a long time ago. And now it will be perceived as headache. Well, I think you understand the further scenario.

So why learn short-term and one-sided manipulations of men with a “-” charge?

I suggest you, as a representative of the most beautiful half of humanity, to study positive impact. Which works with a 100% guarantee in any period of the relationship.

How to manipulate a guy

Manipulation of men who work

When a woman begins to understand how the exchange of male and female energies takes place, then everything becomes easier and fun.

The better you learn the rules and principles of a game (for example, chess), the better you play and the more fun you get from the game. The same analogy applies to men.

When you start to “give” what they need, the more he will do for you. This I call the female influence “+”.

2. Manipulation of a man with a charge of “+”

Let's call it Influence. The man acts because Wants act.

When a woman acts from the position of causing only good and kind, receiving “in return” what she needs.

When a man invites a girl to a cafe. She sincerely, like a child, is grateful for a good evening. And he "for some reason" wants to invest in it even more. After all, she is so joyful and grateful just from a cup of coffee and ice cream. “What will happen then?” he thinks.

When they have. And she admires the man so much that he just takes and gives her a couple of hundred dollars for a beauty salon (despite the fact that he himself earns 800 a month). Just. Because he is pleased to do this for Her (which inspires him with strength and faith in himself. State). win-win. Energy exchange.

When he says: I won't succeed with Project X. And she says, “A man like you can't fail. I believe in you! You definitely can."

The project shoots (not this one, so the next one). Will he fulfill her feminine whim with pleasure?

When she makes a childishly sad face. He asks, "What happened?" She sweetly: “I'm mad at myself because I want a new dress. I have so many of them. And I want more. You have to invest in business, but I think about dresses (pouting)”.

Question: will he buy her a dress right away or in a short time?

Results:

Manipulation by a man, or Influence with a “-” sign

A man acts because he has to

Works for a short time (during the period when a man is in love, passionate)

Works more on immature men

Luckily it doesn't

Manipulation by a man, or Influence with a “+” sign

A man acts because he wants to act

Works both short term and long term

Works on all men except losers

Leads to the happiness of both partners

Men want female influence. Men need feminine influence. Women, influence skillfully! You will succeed. I believe.

Write in the comments how you will manipulate a man or what do you think about this?

Most interesting articles Yaroslav Samoilov:

The word "manipulation" in most people causes unpleasant associations. Other words are immediately drawn in my head: “deceive”, “impose”, “force against my will”. However, harmonious relationships are impossible without manipulation, and if it happens with skillful, filigree words and actions, then this is called a subtle psychological approach. Women are rightfully considered great specialists in manipulation. Nature has endowed us with a special ability to balance on the verge of manipulation and wisdom. And although the art of manipulating men is a gift, they need to learn how to own it consciously.

The art of female manipulation

If a real woman is deprived of the ability to manipulate, there will be no woman left. And men will be upset first of all. They are ready and happy to be deceived if it pleases their pride, and they feel they have won. It is possible to achieve such mastery through practice and experience. A competent influence on the mind of a man will allow you to get what you want not through pressure and demands, but through his sincere desire to perform an act of his own free will. Girls demonstrate the talent to manipulate from the first years of life. Already at a tender age, they clearly understand how their coquettish smiles, preening or new dresses affect others. Yes, yes, a demonstration of femininity, tempting clothes, gait - this is the simplest form of female manipulation, the basics of which girls learn in early childhood.

With age, the methods of manipulation become more complicated and are brought to perfection, or not brought to perfection, and then mediocre attempts to control a man look ridiculous and even pathetic. And the reaction of men is exactly the opposite. To be among those women who are able to deftly manage an army of men just in time and to the point with a raised eyebrow, you need to understand the intricacies of male psychology and learn how to influence their decision so that it doesn’t even occur to them that it was a choice without a choice. Wise female manipulation differs from brainwashing in that the man remains fully confident that he, and only he, makes all decisions! And it is absolutely not necessary for him to know that he is performing his actions according to a plan clearly outlined by a woman.

"Golden" ways to manipulate a man

Talented manipulation of a man is a whole science with its own laws and rules. And this system of knowledge needs to be comprehended not only by the mind, but also by the soul, since not just a logical miscalculation is important here, but also intuition. You should start studying the theory from a set of basic methods of manipulation, and then your own methods, verified by persistent practice, will appear. It is practice that can bring a woman to the level of a master. And yet, the first and main rule of any manipulation of a man is respect. If you want goodwill from a man, make sure that your manipulations do not humiliate him. Dishonest, “dirty” manipulations may have an immediate effect, but they will have to pay too dearly for them later.

Method number 1. Praise. Praise your man! Anytime and anywhere! In this case, it is better to overpraise than underpraise. But there is one obligatory condition: never prevaricate! A compliment and a statement of its merits must be sincere. Take a closer look and start praising him for things that you used to take for granted. If you find in him and praise those qualities that he is proud of, he will move any mountains for you.

Method number 2. Need. Need the help of a man, but not with resentment at his indifference to your requests, but with cunning and intelligence. Don't say, "How many times do I have to ask you to download an app on my phone?!" Approach the problem from the other side: “Show me how to install an application on the phone. I can't figure it out without you." Let a man help you even where it is not required, and he will begin to do things.

Method number 3. Beauty. She is truly a terrible force and one of the most powerful weapons in manipulating a man. Hair, curvaceous forms, perfumes, cosmetics, seductive clothes, grooming and everything that falls under the concept of your man's feminine beauty are win-win tools of manipulation. Make good use of them. Nature has made sure that men become trouble-free before beauty.

Method number 4. Tenderness. Handle with tenderness. Men are like cats, even the most brutal of them lose their vigilance when a gentle, affectionate cat is nearby. Before asking a man to satisfy his desires, touch him with a look, kiss or hands. And in a conversation, use the “psychological stroking” technique: before making a request, praise him or say an appropriate compliment.

Method number 5. Sex. The most ancient, but the most effective manipulation remains sexual manipulation. "Basic Instinct" can and should be used to control a man. Geishas, ​​courtesans, and even ordinary "moths" through sex have always been able to manipulate powerful men, and through them, and their dependence on skillful caresses, ruled entire nations. You can learn this truly golden technique at special master classes organized for women who want to understand the secrets of manipulating men through sex.

Method number 6. Tears. Not the most pleasant, but often very effective way to manipulate the male consciousness. Men are afraid of women's tears. With this “wet business” they can be moved, cause compassion and a desire to help. Tears will definitely not leave a man indifferent. The main thing is not to go too far so that crying does not turn into hysteria. And do not use this “forbidden method” too often, a man will easily see through your manipulation and stop responding to tears properly.

Method number 7. Food. A hungry man is an angry man. Never try to manipulate a hungry man, especially if your request is not in his interest. Feed a man tasty and satisfying, as he likes, and only then offer to sacrifice his favorite hockey for the sake of your concert. Of course, this one way may not be enough to instill a love for cultural events in a man, but you have a whole arsenal of other arguments-methods, the skillful combination of which will make a man persuade you to take him to a concert with you.

If the behavior of a real woman is cleaned out of manipulation, there will be no woman left. And the men will be the first to be upset by this.

Most representatives of the beautiful half of humanity believe that they know how to control men. In fact, only a few of them are fluent in this art.

Let's figure out what female manipulation is. Let's give an example: a beautiful long-legged girl in a very short skirt is walking down the street. The question is: is the shape of her dress a manipulation? It all depends on whether she intentionally put on this particular skirt, whether she pursued the goal of attracting the attention of surrounding men, whether she wanted to influence them with her long legs, or whether she did it unconsciously, without pursuing any goals, but she just likes to dress like that. If she did it deliberately - then this is manipulation of pure water, but if she chose this particular thing from her wardrobe completely by accident - then there is no manipulation.

The first rule of manipulation is that your interlocutor does not notice that he is under your influence, so that he does not understand that he is dancing to someone else's tune, so that a treacherous thought does not arise in his mind that he is being manipulated.

This is a book for those women who want to learn how to manage men, to get them to fulfill any desire. If you dream of influencing the behavior of your loved one, your friend or just a colleague, we invite you on an interesting, exciting journey into the depths of male psychology. After studying the 49 rules, you will arm yourself with a whole arsenal of the latest tactics with which you can subordinate any man to your will. Go ahead.

Chapter 1

Three reasons to use manipulation

Rule #1

Men always want to see a woman in you

Have you set out to convince a man of something and do not know how to proceed with the implementation of your plan? Your main trump card is that you are a woman, and it's a sin not to use it. Even if there is no intimate relationship between you and your interlocutor, if this man is your boss or colleague, do not think that he does not notice that you are a woman. Here are just a few tips on how to use your charms to achieve the desired result.

In order to win over a man, you need to cause physical attraction in your interlocutor. This kind of manipulation is based on the fact that a man in whom natural instincts wake up can no longer reason sensibly and logically. It feels itself in the power of a woman. Even if his mind tells him that he should not agree with you, that he should not give in and fulfill your desire, his flesh tells him the opposite. In this case, his libido is your ally in the difficult task of managing a man, and your task is to awaken a man's interest in you as a woman.

When preparing to talk to your “victim”, think ahead. You should dress a little more revealingly than usual. Just don't overdo it with revealing. Remember the golden rule: a hint of nudity looks sexier than nudity itself. You must look so that there is room for male fantasy. Show off all your charms. Give preference to a shallow blouse neckline, but do not forget to unbutton the top button, do not wear too short a skirt, it looks vulgar, it is better to choose the classic version - knee length with a slit that slightly opens the lace stocking. Choose your perfume and make-up carefully. The aroma should be very light, barely perceptible, so that your interlocutor does not start to choke in the middle of a conversation. Nothing should annoy you.

If your interlocutor is equal to you in status, a colleague or friend, you can apply the method of tactile impact. You can touch a man, but not too openly. Light strokes on the shoulder or hand will evoke pleasant emotions in him. However, do not try to break the distance and enter the personal space of a person above you in position - your boss or teacher. This can be perceived as a sign of disrespect and insubordination.

If you can create an image desired woman, your interlocutor, under the influence of your spell, will certainly agree to fulfill your request. Although sometimes in order to persuade a man to make the right decision, it is not enough to just be a charming and attractive woman. You have to use a whole range of manipulative techniques to achieve the desired result. Read more about these techniques below.

Rule #2

A man does not like it when a woman encroaches on his freedom.

Remember folk wisdom: listen to what the woman says and do the opposite. This is how most of the male population lives. They consider any advice from the fair sex to be an attack on their freedom and thus force us to use manipulation to get our way.

To understand why we, women, use manipulation, we must proceed from the axiom that men are freedom-loving creatures. Any encroachment on their freedom - whether it be returning from work at the exact time indicated by the wife, planning his leisure time, banning him from meeting friends or some other conditions - is a disrespect for him as a person and an expression of distrust, which humiliates and offends his dignity. Your reproaches and advice make him act differently than you would like, he deliberately, like a teenager, does everything to spite you only in order to assert his own right to freedom. As a result, a conflict is brewing, which is resolved sooner or later. It can be resolved in several ways.

Method 1 - "totalitarian": one of the parties surrenders: it can be either a man or a woman, depending on what is stronger - action or opposition. There is a distribution of roles: the strongest wins the struggle for power.

Method 2 - “they didn’t get along”: both can’t stand it, the conflict is resolved by parting.

Method 3 is “manipulative”: a woman takes reins of power, while a man does not lose a sense of freedom, believing that he does his actions of his own free will, although in fact he is under the influence of his wife / lover.

Here are some ways to covertly control a man:

1. Do not use the imperative (imperative mood) when referring to a man (go there, don't do that, etc.). Such a wording of a request or advice is always perceived by a man as an attempt to control him, an encroachment on his freedom. You can use the request-question:

- Dear, I started cleaning, could you help me?(Instead of: "Vacuum the house and wash the dishes.")

Or a rhetorical question:

- I'm late at work tomorrow, I don't even know who will pick up the child from kindergarten? (Instead of: "Tomorrow pick up the child from kindergarten.")

2. Come up with an alternative. Your beloved is going to the next "sabantuy" with friends. Do not forbid him this in an ultimatum form, just offer another option for spending leisure time. For example, invite him to the premiere of a movie he's wanted to see for a long time, or cook up a "fantastic" dinner that he definitely won't turn down. Choosing such an alternative, you should intrigue the man, offer him something worthwhile, so that he does not doubt that he made the right choice, exchanging the "beer" party for an unforgettable evening by candlelight.

3. It is best to make sure that your beloved himself comes to the right decision. Your task is to prompt him, hint. For example, you really do not want to go on a picnic with his friends. Do not try to persuade him to abandon this idea, declaring his desire on the forehead. Get him to express his desire not to go. In the middle of a conversation, you can complain that the weather this particular weekend will be rainy, that the preparation for the picnic was not good enough, and that the place was not chosen at all. It is best if these arguments are instilled in him not only by you, but by someone else from your company, then he will believe in the objectivity of these arguments and he himself will abandon his idea.

Rule #3

Men themselves are not averse to manipulating a woman

Dear ladies, if you don’t want to be “under the heel” of your beloved, if you don’t want to spend all your leisure time cleaning, washing, ironing and caring for children, while your beloved is relaxing in front of the TV, you simply must learn the rule : do not want to become a victim of manipulation, learn to resist it.

In order to avoid exhausting work at home, men often use a tactic called: "It doesn't work for me" or "Hands in the wrong place." Their actions are very simple. When you ask them for help, they enthusiastically get down to business, but they do everything in such a way that you still have to redo everything. This is repeated until you decide that it is better to do everything yourself than to ask your man. This is exactly the outcome of events that a man achieves.

How to behave? In no case do not try to remove your man from household chores. You must create conditions for him in which he will be forced to redo his own work. For example, your beloved washes dishes in such a way that food remains on them. By the next meal, you can, as if not noticing, put an unwashed appliance on him. If he makes a remark, ask him to wash the plate himself, because it's his fault. Do this several times until the man faithfully fulfills your requests.

Another favorite men's tactic called "Dump the sick head on a healthy one." Here is an eloquent example of typical male behavior. Wallpapering one of the rooms dragged on for several weeks. You are trying to rush the man, to hint that it is time to finish the protracted repair. Hearing a reproach in your words, the man begins to list your own flaws: “You still haven’t washed my shirt, you can’t figure it out in the closet, and in general your coffee runs out every day.” Thus, a man wants to make a woman feel guilty for his failures and relieve himself of responsibility for unfinished work. In this situation, you can try to try to finish the repair yourself: "I'm tired of it all, I don't want to live in a pigsty anymore." Men, as you know, do not like it when a woman takes up tools. Most likely, your beloved will take away your brush and a bucket of glue and the words “You still don’t know how” or “Let me do it yourself” - he will complete what he started.

Here is another typical case of male "domestic" manipulation called "I was offended." Men dread the Sabbath day when loving wives they are driven out into the street to beat rugs and rugs, on this day they have to take out the garbage that has accumulated over the week and vacuum the house. In order to avoid participating in the general cleaning, men very often provoke women into a quarrel. For example, they begin to do everything extremely slowly, which causes you an irresistible desire to speed up the process with the help of a “magic frying pan”. But you usually limit yourself to nervous words: "Can't you hurry?" or "What are you like inanimate, let's move." These words, as a rule, become fatal: a man throws a carpet, a vacuum cleaner or a trash can with the words: “If you don’t like it, I can not do it at all.” And he does not talk to the swami for half a day until the end of the gene-cleaning. How to proceed? If you feel that your man is helping you without much enthusiasm, it is best not to provoke a quarrel and avoid harsh statements. On the contrary, try to win him over. “Dear, did you get up on the wrong foot today? Let me make you strong coffee - you will cheer up. After such words, a man is unlikely to want to quarrel with you.

Chapter 2

The most common female tricks

Rule #4

Women are the weaker sex: always ask for help

One of the most common methods of manipulation is associated with an interesting paradox in human relationships: we are more willing to succumb to the influence of “weak” people, those who know how to use their weakness, who easily ask for help even when they don’t need it at all or could do without it.

In relationships between men and women, this is one of the easiest ways to manipulate. After all, a woman by nature is the weaker sex, and she is so arranged that she needs the help of stronger representatives of the human race. The most important thing is to skillfully use this “advantage”. Women's weaknesses make a man feel strong and significant in the presence of ladies. When you ask a man for help, you are in some way complimenting him: “I can’t cope with this problem without your help.” Men really like it. Having fulfilled any of your requests, they already fall under your influence, with their help they let you know that they are ready to patronize you, to help in the future - you can skillfully use this unspoken promise.

The most elementary requests can cause a man not only to want to help, but also to have an incredible sense of pride in his abilities: “I am so capable and talented, and it’s absolutely easy for me to help you if you need it so much.” In addition, having done you a favor once, it will be difficult for a man to refuse you the next time you ask for something more serious. For example, change a light bulb, see what is knocking in your engine, help you figure out a new computer program, etc. The most important thing is that your request be feasible and correspond to the skills and experience of a man. By doing so, you will put him in an awkward position, he may become embarrassed, and he will have an unpleasant aftertaste from communicating with you. In the future, his "failure" may even be the reason that he will begin to avoid you. In general, come up with tasks and tests for a man, but not too difficult. The main thing is that he will certainly cope with them and become in some way a fabulous deliverer for you from minor troubles that lie in wait for you at every turn.

Even if you yourself are masterfully versed in electronics and technology, if you are an expert in the device of your own car, then it is not at all necessary to flaunt this. Men like it when a woman creates a more favorable background for him when she is not so competent in the so-called "male" matters. If nothing urgent and unfavorable happens in your life - the bulbs don’t go down, the car’s engine works perfectly - then it would be appropriate to go for a little trick and “make” a little trouble for yourself and then resort to the help of your gentleman. What should you do, for example, accidentally break a light bulb that does not want to sit down, or pull the hose out of the carburetor?

Women's helplessness in such elementary domestic matters is very amusing for men. But, as a rule, they never refuse to help. And one good deed can cause them an attack of nobility. After that, you can safely turn to them for help on more important and serious problems.

Rule #5

Migraine is the main female ailment: refer to ailments

“Ah, how dizzy!”, “Ah, something is not good for me!”, “Ah, there is not enough fresh air!”. Hearing such exclamations from you, any man who is nearby will certainly do everything to alleviate your ailments.

In the days of wasp waists and corsets squeezing the lungs, young girls very often fainted, in older women the most common illness was migraine. Frequent ailments in those days are now explained by too tight clothes and heavy dresses. But there is another explanation: girls in those ancient times possessed the art of manipulating men. Every decent girl in those days knew how to faint so much that the gentleman she liked had a desire to pick her up and take her out into the fresh air, where usually all explanations of love took place.

In our times, fainting is not so common, they are more associated with actual ailments than with a girl's desire to draw attention to herself. Nevertheless, this form of manipulation is very effective and is still used by the most skilled women to control men. Women have some specific pains and ailments that men are not well aware of. In general, they do not know everything about the female body, and what a woman has to endure. The male reaction to your ailments will be quite typical - confusion, a desire to help at all costs, while not causing pain of a different origin, emotional wound, etc.

Therefore, you can safely use this method when you consider it necessary. For example, your planned trip to a restaurant is postponed due to unforeseen, urgent work that has fallen on your beloved's head. Well, do not beat the drums and do not throw tantrums - just float in front of your eyes with a wet towel on your head, moaning slightly. To the question: “What is the matter with you, dear?” - you can simply say that your head hurts a lot and you would really need fresh air right now. When using this method of manipulation, remember an important rule: do not overdo it. Do not grab your head every time your beloved refuses you another whim, do not pretend to be terminally ill if your man suddenly decides to cancel your walk. If you resort to this method too often, you will simply not be taken seriously, and most likely you will be caught in a simulation.

And one more thing: choose simpler ailments (headache or mild nausea), and if you suddenly complain about a naughty heart or limbs, then your darling may be seriously scared and call a doctor to check your health.

Rule #6

Appearance: use your own attractiveness

Female beauty acts on men like sour cream on cats - for her sake they are ready for anything. There is no such thing as too much beauty. It is not true that a man gradually gets used to your beauty and ceases to admire it. Most likely, you yourself are too dismissive of your appearance, not wanting to use this magnificent weapon.

Each woman is endowed with her own special attractiveness, only her inherent charm. But very often women do not know how to use their beauty correctly: some of them forget that it was thanks to their appearance that they won their current husband, and some do not know how to use this reliable weapon in managing a man at all.

Whatever inner virtues and spiritual qualities you possess, not a single man is able to appreciate them if you are not able to frame them in a decent frame, competently and profitably shaping your appearance. You will be able to influence a man, regardless of whether you have known him for a very long time or whether he is a random companion in transport, provided that your appearance corresponds to a certain model, standard.

Undoubtedly, looking after appearance is the greatest work, but, undoubtedly, one of the most pleasant women's duties. It goes without saying that attractiveness is not only about expensive clothes, makeup and chic hairstyles. All this is just a background, some kind of appendage to your personality. Heights should come first, not your expensive boots or gold jewelry. As a rule, men are not able to differentiate beauty into components, to evaluate hair and makeup separately, not paying attention to torn tights or worn heels. A man sees a woman as a whole, the totality of all her efforts. Therefore, do not rely on the fact that men will not notice your unwashed hair, but will pay attention only to your fashionable suit. You must be perfect in everything. And then it is in your hands. It has been observed that men are much more willing to make concessions to attractive women than to those who completely forget to take care of their appearance, and pay more attention to a woman dressed according to all the rules of fashion than to one who dresses tastelessly. It will be easy for you to control a man if you always successfully shape your appearance.

If, for example, the man you are trying to influence sees you in the same clothes (for example, because of the dress code in force at work), then do not despair. You are able to add your zest to a watery outfit. Wear elegant high-heeled shoes or sew the top button of your blouse a little lower. Such small details can arouse in a man not only sympathy for you, but also a desire to help, because female beauty always hypnotizes a man.

Rule #7

Women's Mystique: Don't Give Out Your Secrets

A mysterious woman, a sphinx woman, a mysterious stranger - the dream of not only a poet, but also of any man. It's no secret that men value mystery in a woman. You will subjugate any man if you can intrigue him.

In fact, female mystery is nothing but a sure way of manipulation. With it, you can easily conquer any man - whether it be the object of your dreams or an employer offering a profitable job.

Here are some tips on how to properly use your mystique to achieve selfish goals. First, do not tell everything about yourself, it is better to hide some of the information. Even if you are very fond of talking, in the presence of your interlocutor you will have to moderate your desires and become more silent. Don't talk much, but don't be silent, like a partisan. Try to think carefully about your thought before you say anything. In a conversation with a man, you should interest him with an original thought, a subtle hint. Do not try to completely withdraw into yourself, otherwise you risk going unnoticed. Too much mystery and mystery in your appearance will not do you any good either. A man will not be happy with your desire to hide any information about yourself, including your name, address, phone number. In this case, you will just seem strange to him.

Do not be too frank in a conversation with a man: try to hide a part of your biography that will not decorate you too much: for example, you should not immediately tell that you were married and divorced not so long ago, or that your real age is actually somewhat more than suggests your chosen one.

At first, it is best to leave a little understatement, inconsistency in the conversation. Use the woman's favorite “maybe” phrase more often, which gives a man hope for reciprocity, but leaves room for doubt. If a man who you liked for a long time nevertheless drew attention to you, you should not confess your passionate feelings in the very first conversation, open all the cards at once. Be restrained in showing your emotions. To fairly direct questions about your feelings, it is best to use evasive answers: “I like you, but I haven’t figured out my feelings yet”, “Your date offer is tempting, but I’m not sure if I’ll accept it yet - we’ll talk about it on the next week." If by your behavior you made a man doubt himself, if he had a treacherous thought: “Am I so good, can I conquer this impregnable peak?” - then you are on your way to conquering a man's heart.

If it seems to you that there is nothing mysterious and mysterious about you, what men like so much, fantasize a little. Think up some sad romantic story about your past unhappy love. Hint that you went through a difficult stage in your life, that your heart belonged to an insidious seducer and you no longer trust men. With your story, you will arouse the interest of a man. He will understand: to win your heart, he will have to try hard. Just one piece of advice: do not overdo it with fictional romantic stories, do not go into details and shed tears from scratch. In this case, one hint will suffice.

Rule #8

Food: male appetite is your main assistant

The easiest way is to persuade a person to provide you with a service when he is comfortable, his physiological needs are satisfied and he feels harmony with the world around him. For men, this moment can be the moment of satisfying hunger. Simply put, ask a man to fulfill your desire after he has eaten.

Experienced women know not to pester a man with a request for money for a new dress or a visit to a beauty salon until he eats properly. Remember that a well-fed man is more accommodating and accommodating than a hungry one. Do you want to persuade your husband to make an unscheduled visit to your mother? Wait until he is full. Are you looking for the right moment to persuade your boss to give you another vacation at his own expense? Wait for him to come back for a lunch break. This way of persuading a man is even difficult to call manipulation. After all, you are not doing anything to influence the decision of a man, you are not using forbidden methods of persuasion, you are not trying to covertly influence the point of view of your interlocutor. But at the same time, you are manipulating, choosing the right moment for your request, presenting it when your interlocutor is the least irritated, when his vigilance is somewhat dulled: he has just eaten and is in a relaxed state.

If you want to use this method of manipulation, remember that you cannot interrupt a man during a meal, even if you really want to state your request. Many women believe that, having started eating and satisfying an acute hunger, a man has already become docile and gentle. Without waiting for the end of the meal, they begin the "attack" before the object of manipulation fills his stomach. This is a big mistake. A man only then becomes a convenient object for manipulation when his nutritional needs are fully satisfied. One more piece of advice: do not think that a man is indifferent to innovation and originality in food. They don't care what they fill their stomachs with. Many of them are true gourmets and prefer varied and original food. A good hostess always knows the passions of her man. You can skillfully use this knowledge to achieve success in manipulation. For example, your beloved loves seafood. In this case, before an important and very serious request, you should seriously prepare by preparing only his most favorite dishes for dinner. Do not bypass the table setting. Despite the fact that your main task is to feed your man, it is still worth considering the aesthetic side of the process. Try to create an atmosphere conducive to a good mood. A man will appreciate your preparations and will be ready to please you, and after such a surprise, you can safely ask him for something that you have not yet dared to ask for.

Rule #9

Alcohol: keep a bottle of good wine in reserve

This method of manipulation is very effective, but not safe. Alcohol in small amounts relaxes a person, but there is no guarantee that your interlocutor will not want more. Therefore, you need to use alcohol as an assistant in your manipulations very carefully, preparing in advance for the situation if something goes wrong.

You can resort to this method of manipulation when you want to ask a man about something significant for you. By offering to join you and drink a glass of good French wine, you set your interlocutor in a festive mood. He begins to behave accordingly - at the holiday you need to have fun and relax. This behavior is in your favor, you need him to be as relaxed as possible.

Of course, having persuaded a man to support the company, you must somehow motivate your behavior. This is where it's time to act. For example, you are sent on a business trip for a whole month to another city. You know that your beloved man will react to this news without enthusiasm, most likely, he will simply forbid you to go and ask you to refuse. You by all means need to persuade him to give permission to travel, because your career depends on it. Your action: try to organize a small celebration by inviting your life partner to celebrate some important event for both of you. special occasions a bottle of good French wine, which was just waiting for just such a moment. You have glasses in your hands, your beloved is waiting, but you should not immediately remove the veil of secrecy, wait a bit with the story about your business trip, wait until the alcohol affects your interlocutor. Start your story after the first glass you drink: alcohol has already managed to act, but has not yet clouded your mind.

Starting your story, try to present it in a slightly different light: it is at this moment that you act like a real manipulator. The news will be perceived as you can present it. Champagne, candles, slow music are just a preparatory stage. The real manipulation begins now. Start your story with the fact that you arranged a holiday in honor of your promotion, which will certainly affect the material side of your life, tell that your boss has begun to take you more seriously and already intends to raise your salary. But still, he continues to test you, and in order to be completely sure of his choice, he wants to send you on a business trip for a while. Such a turn of events may not cause stormy joy in your man, but, having noticed the sparkle and hope in your eyes, he will definitely not be able to forbid you to go. This tactic will bear fruit if you manage to create the right mood for a man and do not overdo it with a drink. Good luck.

Rule #10

Intimate area: invade a man's personal space

We offer you another fairly effective way to manage men, associated with the invasion of personal space. This method of manipulation is suitable in cases where you want to ask for something from a man with whom you do not have an intimate relationship.

Briefly describe how this method of manipulation works. A person has an intimate zone (about 50 cm in diameter), which, according to the rules of etiquette, is allowed only for the closest people. We, as a rule, communicate with a stranger at a distance of 50-70 cm, trying not to invade his personal space, as this can cause a negative reaction on his part.

It is quite another matter if the stranger is a representative of the opposite sex. Then the invasion of his personal space can give him pleasure, cause positive emotions.

The ability to competently penetrate the intimate zone of the interlocutor can help you in managing men. You should not immediately approach the man at a "dangerous" distance, you should do it slowly, gradually, in the process of talking, reducing the distance between you. In order for your invasion of a man’s personal space to evoke positive emotions, you must remember that even the smallest unpleasant nuances can be caught at close range. They, in turn, can spoil the whole impression, and your interlocutor will have a desire to end the conversation as soon as possible. Unpleasant nuances are understood as unpleasant smells and sounds. Remember that at close range, your interlocutor will feel your breath, so take care of his freshness. Also, an unfavorable impression will be made by the smell of sweat or harsh perfume. The smell should be gentle, barely distinguishable. As for sounds, by reducing the distance between you and your interlocutor, you need to lower the timbre and volume of your voice: a high voice has negative impact per person.

Intrusion into the interlocutor's personal space can be more effective if you touch him. This touch should not be rough or too long. It can be a light stroke, barely perceptible by a man. When choosing a contact zone, try not to touch open areas of the body - the face or hands. Naturally, the "below the belt" zone is forbidden - otherwise you will simply be misunderstood. At your disposal are the shoulders, forearms and chest area. You can also pretend that you want to fix some flaw in the clothes of your interlocutor, for example, straighten the lapel of a jacket or tie. These actions can enhance the effect produced and even put a man into a stupor - now he is in your hands.

Invading your personal space, you should not be too active. For example, you should not use several touch options at once - just one is enough, and you should not make it too long, otherwise you may cause some discomfort. It is enough to “play” with a man at the very beginning of the conversation , and during the entire conversation, his vigilance will be lulled.

Rule #11

Weasel: use elements of "stroking"

By manipulating a person, you mislead him that he is fulfilling your request of his own free will, he does not realize that you are controlling him. That is why for covert control, not authoritarian techniques, such as shouting and orders, are suitable, but techniques that are usually called “strokes” in the science of manipulation.

In order to win over a man, set him up for positive, make him easily manageable, you can “caress” your potential “victim”. Under the term "stroking" psychologists understand not only touch, but also other psychological techniques that can cause positive emotions. You can use these techniques to ensure that your interlocutor finds support and support in you, and therefore, begins to trust you.

1. Assent. You can support a man in his statements, pretend that you share his point of view. For example, agree with him when he starts scolding his boss, who allegedly does not appreciate such an irreplaceable worker. Be sure that he will begin to feel more comfortable in your company, will consider you a person who can be trusted.

2. Use friendly gestures when communicating with a man. For example, a pat on the shoulder, a hug, a wink. As a unique way of showing kindness, you can use a friendly handshake, which can be a little longer, as a sign of strong respect. You can also use a friendly pat on the shoulder. These are the most neutral ways of showing affection and care, which will help you win over the interlocutor, so that later you can influence him with a word. If you want to discourage a man and are not afraid to seem a little frivolous, then you can use more intimate “strokes”: for example, when shaking hands, you can slightly tickle the inside of your interlocutor’s palm or try to straighten his tie.

3. Stand up for him if someone tries to accuse him of something. An elementary example: your mother reproaches her son-in-law for not having completed the renovation yet. If you try to support her, then your spouse will see you as an enemy and, in spite of everyone, will finish it even longer. The most competent thing is to take the side of your husband: “Why are you all sticking to him? He's a good guy." A man will understand that you are on his side. And after talking with your mother, you yourself will be able to offer to finish the repair in spite of everyone who does not believe in it.

4. Use the proper name of your interlocutor. For a person, the sound of his name is best compliment. If you call a man by his first name, he will feel more trust and sympathy for you.

Rule #12

First date: avoid intimate contact

The ability to manipulate others is a real art that requires not only knowledge and skills, but also very strict self-control. Sometimes you have to fight with your own "I", restrain your desires in order to achieve the desired result in the future.

In this chapter, we will talk about the fail-safe method of manipulation that women use on their first love date. The purpose of this manipulation is obvious - the desire to turn the love of their gentleman into a stronger and stronger feeling of love.

The first date is a real game between a man and a woman, comparable to a kind of duel, when one (usually a man) seeks to subdue his beloved at all costs, satisfy his physiological needs, and the second (usually a woman) seeks to turn this date into the beginning a long-term and much stronger bond between them.

A woman, experienced and wise, prepares in advance for a date, plans everything to the smallest detail, foreseeing completely different outcomes of this “duel”. The woman believes that the date was successful when it entailed an offer to meet again, and did not end with a standard male excuse: "I'll call". In order to get such an offer from a man, women use the manipulation that has become a woman's commandment: refuse intimate communication on the first date.

In most cases, this technique works successfully. By refusing an intimate connection, you strike at his ego, at his pride. You make him think about why this happened, what it is connected with. Even if he did not plan to continue the relationship with you, his hurt pride will not give him peace, he will still want to bring the “started” to the end, thereby giving you time to strengthen your relationship, make it stable.

Your refusal should be prepared in advance, even rehearsed if possible, so that you do not seem too cutesy or completely indifferent. The best option there may be a wording like: "Darling, it's not easy for me to give up the much-desired thought of spending the night with you, but I want to check my feelings and get to know you better." That is, your refusal should be justified precisely by the fact that you hope to continue the relationship, that you are waiting for the unconditional continuation of your meetings. If you manage to convince your partner that you are not frivolous, that you are a worthy party, then perhaps your relationship will have a great fate.

Sooner or later, you will still have to give up, and there is no guarantee that a man will not lose interest in you after that, but again, it will depend only on you: whether you will be able to interest a man only as a potential sexual partner or whether he is interested in you as a person.

Rule #13

Common interests: moviegoers and music lovers of all genders, unite!

It is very easy to gain confidence in a person if in a conversation it turns out that you have common interests. This is usually used by experienced manipulators, trying to start a conversation on an interesting topic for the “victim”: “I am also a fan. How did Zenit play yesterday?

This method of manipulation in a man-woman pair must be used very carefully: after all, they are unlikely to believe you if you say that you are a true football fan, a fan of "RED HOT CHILLY PEPPERS" and crazy about Jackie Chan (although, by the way, this is not excluded). It just so happened that men's and women's tastes are fundamentally different: women prefer melodramas, talk shows, light music, and men - action movies, sports programs and heavier music. Therefore, in order to choose a common topic for conversation, you need to try.

For example, a man, your potential "victim", loves Tolkien's novels: he has read everything from cover to cover and watched all the adaptations. You can use this knowledge to build good relationships. As if casually, you can say that you recently read the last book about the Lord of the Rings, and you really liked it. Naturally, if you are not a true fan, then you should be pretty prepared for talking about an idol - read something and watch a couple of films so that you do not throw unfounded phrases: "Tolkien is a genius."

Of course, if you turn out to be a real fan of his works, this will only be a plus for you: you will not only be able to talk on a topic that interests both of you, but also achieve the location of your interlocutor, in the future you will be able to use this location to achieve personal goals.

By entering the circle of trusted people, you can win over a man even more if he learns something new from your conversations. If his stock of knowledge about such a dear subject increases, he will be grateful to you. And if you find full version his favorite movie or get tickets to a concert of his favorite rock band, he will want to repay you in the same coin - to do something nice for you. This is the best time to ask him for a favor. You definitely won't be denied.

Rule #14

Childhood Memories: Get nostalgic together

It has been proven that memories of early childhood, those distant carefree years when we were all small and incapable of dishonest deeds and deceit, have a positive effect on a person. He seems to be returning to childhood and ceases to see dangerous competitors in those around him, capable of deception and manipulation. It is at such moments that it is very easy for him to control, to subordinate him to his influence.

In order for a close relationship to be established between you and your interlocutor, so that he is imbued with confidence in you, you can turn the conversation to the topic of childhood memories.

Choosing an episode from your childhood is also a very difficult moment. The main thing is that this episode should be funny enough and not boring. It is best if you tell a story in which you looked comical, even ridiculous. Then the interlocutor will imbue you with great confidence. For example, if you started talking about your passion for poetry, it would be appropriate to read a few lines from your "early" work. If you manage to make your interlocutor laugh, or at least make him smile, he is unlikely to refuse your “tiny” request.

Rule #15

Compliments for a man: praise a man more often

Men, despite the fact that they are usually called the stronger sex, are actually very vulnerable and dependent on someone else's assessment. They need their efforts to be appreciated. Dear women, remember that men love to be complimented.

A compliment is a very powerful weapon in the hands of an experienced manipulator. Compliments to men need to be done constantly, even if they are not entirely objective, slightly embellished and it seems to you that you are over-praising the man. But after all, they are compliments, to slightly exaggerate the dignity, to slightly embellish the achievements of a person.

The technology for creating a compliment to a man is quite complicated: a man must be sure of his objectivity. It is much easier to compliment a woman: it is enough to admire her new dress, fresh and blooming appearance - and she will immediately melt, receive a charge of positive emotions for the whole day. It is more difficult with men, they see a catch in everything: if they are not praised, then they are underestimated, but if they are bombarded with compliments, then they are trying to flatter in order to appease. As a rule, men are always suspicious of women's compliments, so when you decide to praise a man, you must carefully weigh and calculate everything. Your compliment must be justified. For example, you should not assure a man of his genius, if in fact he is not a genius. Such a compliment will be perceived as a desire to flatter and nothing more. It is necessary that the compliment seemed to your interlocutor as objective as possible, made him believe that you really appreciated his efforts, diligence and extraordinary talent. For your compliment to produce desired effect, we offer the following technologies.

First, always try to justify your assessment. Don't just praise a job well done, but try to motivate your admiration. For example, giving a talk at a conference can be a great opportunity for praise. Your task is not easy to praise the speaker, but to make him believe the sincerity of your admiration. To do this, you can compare his speech with some other, less successful speaker: “You were at your best, not like Petrov with his uninteresting ideas.” Try to be sure to note the strengths of the speaker: “You know, it feels like you are in perfect command of the issue. It was evident in how confidently you performed.” But try not to exaggerate too much, do not overpraise and do not flatter: “That was brilliant” or “This is the first time I listened to a scientific report with such admiration.” They will immediately figure you out, and the manipulation will not succeed - you will not be able to subordinate the man to your influence.

Second, remember that praise is a great motivator for action. Having done a small favor for you and received a high mark for it, the man will be ready to fulfill your other assignments. For example, even a hammered nail can be a reason for praise. Your beloved took up the hammer and hung a picture or a wall clock? Having spent a minimum of effort on this, he receives a worthy compliment from you: “You know, you hung it exactly where I wanted it” or “Now, thanks to you, the house has become much more comfortable.” Such a compliment will move him to further exploits: you can immediately ask him to fix the faucet in the bathroom, which has been leaking for a long time.

Rule #16

Male self-esteem: play on male self-esteem

You began to notice that your beloved man or just a good friend has lost interest in activities. He seemed to stop in one place, stopped striving for new heights, became passive and dull. Persuasion and requests only worsen the situation. In this case, you can play on male pride.

You need to arouse a protest in a person, dissatisfaction with himself, make him move from dead center. In the soul, every man wants to be the best, always be on top of the situation, but life circumstances often violate these plans.

Try to make a man thirst for activity. Tell him about your friend's accomplishments. For example: “I heard that Vasily bought a new car for himself from a neighboring entrance” or “One of my former classmates, by the way, is also an architect, found himself an excellent well-paid job in a prestigious commercial firm.” This kind of manipulation has its own dangerous "pebbles". Your stories about the achievements of other people should not turn into reproaches, you should not compare the heroes of your stories with a person who is in crisis, and even more so reproach him for not being able to even get up off the couch, while others conquer career peaks. Such reproaches and lectures can only cause irritation, but not a desire to follow a positive example. In your stories, do not exaggerate the significance of achievements, talk about them as if all this is quite real and accessible, you just need to exert yourself a little. The purpose of such examples is not to cause despondency and self-doubt, but a healthy competitive interest, a desire to check whether it is possible to become just as successful.

If you want to get what you want from a man, use the “pinning” method: jokingly offer him to do some work and immediately doubt his abilities. Your doubts will make a man want to prove his worth, to show you everything that he is capable of. For example, start a conversation about how you would like to see how your beloved will arrange repairs in the apartment, and immediately doubt his ability to complete such a grand task: “Well, I think that you definitely can’t do it.” If your man has a sufficiently developed self-esteem, then such a mockery and a hint of his insolvency will surely cause him to protest and desire to prove to you that he is capable of making repairs.

Rule #17

Mote in the eye: divert attention from the main subject of the conversation

Such a manipulative technique is based on the selectivity and instability of human attention. It works as follows: the manipulator tries to distract his interlocutor from the main topic of the conversation, transfer his attention to other objects, then returns to the problem under discussion, but the interlocutor has a holistic picture of the perception of the issue, he can no longer objectively assess the benefits of the proposal and often agrees with manipulator's arguments.

The explanation of the technique looks rather complicated, but in practice it is easy to use this technique. For clarity, we give a few examples. You really want to persuade a familiar man to get acquainted with your girlfriend. Knowing in advance that he is reluctant to make new acquaintances, you can use the technique described above. In order to secure his consent, you should try to best describe your proposal by talking about the beauty of your girlfriend and her charm. During the conversation, you may be distracted by a phone call (plan it by agreeing in advance with your girlfriend). Distracting from the conversation, you distract the interlocutor, and his attention switches to your actions. After such a break, you should sharply return to your request and demand a final answer from the man, without letting him come to his senses, knocking him off the main idea. Most likely, the answer will be positive.

Another variant of such manipulation. You need your colleague to work for you over the weekend as you have a huge picnic coming up this weekend. How to persuade him to agree to fulfill your request? Very simple. At the beginning of the conversation, state your request using as vague and obscure language as possible, for example: “I have business with you: could you work for me a little?” or “Could you help me: will you replace me for a while?”. Do not tell all the details at once: the details can be told later, with the consent of the interlocutor. Divert his attention in any way accessible way- the most banal of them: "Oh, a mote got into my eye." You can, suddenly getting up, declare that you have become very stuffy, and open the window, you can remember the long-planned call to your client. All this will distract your interlocutor, and when you return to the topic of your conversation, you should immediately ask: “Well, have you thought about my request?” He can hardly refuse.

Such manipulative techniques can be used not only in conversation with men, but also with women. The attention of men can be switched in a special way - with the help of female charm and charm. For example, in the midst of a conversation, you can, referring to the unbearable stuffiness, take off your jacket and stay in one blouse with a revealing neckline, or, stating your request, go through numerous bracelets on your wrist or twist a pendant in your hands. A man will certainly be distracted by your actions and, most likely, misses the point of the request.

Rule #18

Better bird in hand: move from more to less demand

Another way to get what you want from a man is associated with a sense of guilt for your refusal, for your unwillingness to help. This tactic is often used by obsessive sellers in the subway and underpasses, who at first offer to buy a large and expensive product, but, having been refused, they persuade them to buy at least a small souvenir as a keepsake.

The essence of such manipulation is quite obvious: when offering to buy a thing that is too expensive, the seller expects a refusal in advance. He, in turn, gives rise to a feeling of guilt in a person because he did not live up to someone's expectations, could not make a person a little happier. Therefore, clever manipulators immediately offer a person to rehabilitate himself and buy a not so expensive thing: in half the cases, the buyer agrees.

Experienced manipulative women who seek to subjugate a man act in the same way. Often such tricks are used unconsciously, without even realizing that they are using manipulation. Remember how you beg your loved one to please you. Perhaps like this: “Darling, you promised to buy me a fur coat for the winter. Not enough money? Then take at least to a restaurant” or like this: “When will we finally start to make repairs? No time? Then at least fix the broken stool. Of course, such requests are often made unconsciously, which does not allow us to call them manipulation, but if you learn to use this technique at the right moments, then you can achieve both the purchase of a fur coat and the desired repair.

It is very easy to use this technique. First of all, you need to set a certain goal for yourself and achieve it gradually. For example, you decide to persuade your husband to give you a mink coat (of course, your goals should be commensurate with the family budget). At dinner, hint to him that you would not refuse to spend these New Year holidays somewhere in a warm country. In a few days, you can show the price list of a travel agency offering "cheap" trips to Miami. Later, tell us about the impressions of your friend, who last year rested with her husband in a chic resort and was left in a crazy delight. Your preparations can confuse a man. He will come up with an opportune moment to refuse, try to talk you out of such a reckless idea. Having upset you with his refusal, he will want to somehow rehabilitate himself in front of you - this is where the most opportune moment comes for a request, in the opinion of a man, more real, and more desirable for you - buying a new fur coat. Go for it.

Rule #19

Scandal in the noble family: use your voice data

Do you often arrange scandals for your beloved? If not, then you should remember that scandal is also manipulation. Men passion as they do not like a woman's cry. And, to avoid your hysteria, they are ready for anything.

In order to understand how to competently scandalize, let's recall an episode from the movie "It Can't Be", in which the hero of Leonid Kuravlev repeats throughout the action: "I don't like scandals." And in order to avoid scandal, he marries a girl who has several illegitimate children, the existence of which she kept silent before the wedding. As soon as the man smells that the smell of fried, he becomes complaisant and makes concessions to you.

It is not necessary to throw a real scandal every time. This will turn your life into a nightmare, and your lover or spouse may not be able to stand it. How should this technique be used? At the preparatory stage, you still have to make a little scandal. This is necessary in order to demonstrate your voice data to your beloved, to show what you are capable of. An exemplary scandal should be such that you are literally begged to stop the tantrum. Of course, there must be a serious reason for such a scandal. (If a man does not give you a reason for a scandal, it makes sense to think about whether it is worth manipulating him at all). After such a demonstrative performance, you can, if necessary, hint to your chosen one that your patience is over and that now you will start to act up. I am sure that the warning will work and the man will agree to fulfill your request.

I must warn you that you should not get involved in such manipulative techniques. It is known that a person gets used to everything. Sooner or later, your spouse or lover will get used to your tantrums and stop responding to them. There is another option: he will simply go to a less hysterical woman. You should not use this technique for those whose men belong to the choleric type of temperament. Then your scandal can develop into a grandiose quarrel with screams and smashing dishes. This is of no use to you.

Rule #20

Women's Intuition: Use Your Sixth Sense

In the arsenal of a woman, there will always be several reasons and arguments that she is guided by to make a decision, and a man, as a rule, these arguments are not always clear. One such peremptory argument is female intuition, which opposes male rationality.

We will give you some tips on how to properly use your intuition to manipulate men. Experienced women who have succeeded in manipulation resort to this argument last, if all previous persuasion and assurances have failed. Usually, female intuition is a peremptory argument: it works flawlessly on men, since most of them cannot comprehend the essence of the “female instinct” phenomenon. It is difficult for them to understand why a woman, when making a difficult decision, is guided not by logic, but by her “sixth sense”, which, according to men, is akin to paranormal phenomena. Men are perplexed how women make fateful decisions without resorting to rigorous analysis, without calculating the pros and cons, and explain their choice by the fact that they it seems so.

If you are afraid that your intuition will fail you, then you do not have to give up this argument at all. Many women use their intuition as an argument, despite the fact that it is not very developed. When making a decision, you can build your own logical chain, calculate the pros and cons, but do it in your mind, and show the man only the final decision. You can justify your choice by referring to the mysterious female intuition. It is this kind of manipulation that usually works flawlessly, since a man, unwittingly, begins to trust this inexplicable phenomenon. Use it when you prove something to a man you know. Try to refute all his logical constructions with just one argument: "But my intuition tells me that you are wrong."

Rule #21

Reticence or half-truth: DO NOT be frank

Telling the truth is not easy, but lying in a relationship can lead to a loss of trust if your deceit is exposed. But in order to get your way from a man, you, dear ladies, should be moderately frank: keep silent about unpleasant details, hide juicy stories.

Try dragging a man to a classical music concert if he can't stand it. To do this without using manipulation is almost impossible. In such cases, it is acceptable to hide some unattractive points. You can talk as much as you like about the positive influence of classical music on the human body, assure that a man will get great pleasure from this concert, but if you mention that he will have to enjoy high art for three whole hours, then he is unlikely to accept your invitation. When persuading a man to go to a concert with you, it is better to leave out such an “insignificant” detail as its duration, or not to focus on it: “You know, this will not take you too long.”

If you decide to persuade your friend who does not like big companies to go to a party with you, you can mention that only friends will be at it. Of course, seeing a large number of people, your friend may be seriously angry, but you can always refer to your own ignorance or scold the organizers of the evening for having fooled you in such a friendly way.

If you set out to persuade your lover to let you go to a friend’s birthday without him, then it’s not at all necessary to talk about the fact that there will be not only girls on the holiday, but also several attractive young people without a partner. You should not be frank with your lover that the planned corporate party should end in the sauna. It is better to simply omit such juicy details, and if your dear one accidentally finds out about them, then you can always refer to your own forgetfulness: “Oh, didn’t I tell you anything?”

Of course, this method of manipulation has its own pitfalls. For example, some women are too addicted to this simple, but not very honest way to get their man from a man, which leads to a loss of trust. If the lack of understanding in your conversations becomes the main tool for achieving your goals, then sooner or later your man will simply stop believing in you and all your subsequent words, even truly truthful ones, will be questioned. That is why you do not use this method very often. There is another danger: being carried away by easy victories, you can cross the line of what is permitted and, instead of a legitimate half-truth, you will start to openly lie. But only for the time being, until you are taken to clean water- then your innocent hobby can turn into very unpleasant consequences for your relationship.

Rule #22

Fact is a stubborn thing: state the facts

You can manipulate a man not only with the help of half-truths and half-frankness. Truth can be used as a manipulative weapon. Real words and actions of a man can be used against him. One of the effective ways to influence men is to mention direct facts to prove your position.

In order to use this method of manipulation, you must have certain qualities: perseverance, self-righteousness and a little stubbornness. If you think that you do not have these qualities, this does not mean at all that you cannot experiment: try to reincarnate from a timid and submissive life partner into a confident and self-aware woman. Your task is to use only one, but a very strong argument based on a real fact, to prove your own rightness.

Such an indisputable fact may be the promise of your companion to fulfill your request. If your desire has not yet been fulfilled, feel free to use the facts to your advantage. For example, your beloved has promised to take you to the theater, but has not yet done so. In this case, your dialog might look like this:

- Darling, you promised to go to the theater with me.

- Yes, I remember, dear, but I'm very busy right now.

- It's not fair, because you promised.

- Of course we'll go, just a little later.

- So your promise means nothing?

- I don't go back on my words, but be patient.

- So, I can not believe your words in the future ...

And so on, until your man is exhausted and agrees to fulfill his promise immediately. Note that this dialog is built according to all the rules of manipulation. Man tries to refuse this promise, using various arguments: “I don’t have time”, “We’ll go some other time”, asks to have patience. A woman in all her remarks refers to only one argument - a promise once given, and this argument turns out to be much stronger than all the arguments given by a man.

Winning an argument, even with a strong trump card, is only possible if your arguments are accompanied by confidence and conviction that you are right. You must be adamant, even if a man begins to use countermanipulation, for example, he tries to make you pity. If you want to achieve your goal, be steadfast and, like a stubborn child, repeat the same thing.

Be very careful in choosing STRONG arguments for your manipulative ploys. A strong argument to prove your position is not the words of some third party. As the main trump card, use only the words that were expressed by your opponent - his promises, his oaths.

Rule #23

Multi-questioning: ask TOO many questions

The dialogue, built according to all the rules of rhetoric and argumentation, consists, as a rule, of alternating remarks. Moreover, each replica contains only one unit of information or a call to express this unit of information. Simply put, questions alternate with answers. If you want to find out the truth from your interlocutor, you should build a dialogue in a different way.

Here is an example of a standard dialog.

- Hello. Where have you been?

- At work.

- Why so long?

- The boss stopped.

- What's the urgency?

- Tomorrow is an unforeseen conference - guests from abroad.

And so on. In this dialogue, everything is logical and consistent. This type of conversation has nothing to do with dialogue manipulation. If you, for example, want to find out the truth, bring your beloved to clean water, you can use the so-called multi-question dialogue. In it, you are the leader, you set the tone for the conversation: you immediately begin to ask questions, and in large numbers, while not allowing the interlocutor to answer any of them. The "respondent" in such a situation immediately comes to a standstill. This situation reminds him of a school exam and is inevitably accompanied by stress. Such manipulations are very often used by investigators during interrogations: wanting to bring the suspect to clean water, they ask the same thing, changing the wording. The interrogated person gets the impression that everything is known about his machinations, he loses self-confidence, begins to feel his helplessness. After a copious amount of questions, he himself tells the truth.

The above dialogue can be remade in a manipulation technique.

- Where have you been? Why so long? How long can you wait? What kind of urgency prevented you from even calling and warning you would be late?

Etc.

Confidence in voice and restraint (never raise your voice) can confuse a man, and he may think that you know his deceit, if any, of course, is present. Well, if your beloved is clean in front of you and there is nothing to reproach him with, then he is unlikely to lose his calmness, but will answer all your questions in order, like an excellent student who has learned his lesson well.

Rule #24

Mutual exchange of pleasantries: quid pro quo

You don't know how to get your colleague to help you with your annual report. Or you dream that your friend will invite you to a party that he throws only for VIP friends, but you don’t dare to ask for it. We suggest you use the quid pro quo manipulation.

This is a fairly effective way of manipulation. The bottom line is this: you are the first to do a favor, provide assistance, make a concession to your “victim”, and after that ask for a small favor for you. This method works almost flawlessly. You are using human conscience as your assistant. People have a clear mechanism of mutual assistance and mutual assistance: the majority lives according to the principle: "you - to me, I - to you." By rendering a service, we, firstly, win over a man to ourselves, and secondly, we achieve the appearance of a feeling of unexpressed gratitude.

To get your man from you, you must make him believe in your disinterestedness and sincere desire to help. Here's what it looks like in practice. For example, you want to go to a nightclub with your girlfriend without your boyfriend. Prepare a little surprise for his arrival: "Darling, tonight's dinner is your favorite shrimp and a mug of beer for dessert." If you manage to create the conditions for him to have a great evening without you, then out of a sense of gratitude they will certainly repay you in the same coin - they will agree to let you go alone.

If your friend accidentally mentioned a grand party that he throws at his house only for the elite, but is in no hurry to invite you, do not immediately despair. Give him a gift that he cannot refuse: invite him to go to a concert of his favorite band, a ticket for which you accidentally turned out to be, and then you will definitely be among those invited.

Rule #25

Innocent blackmail: tease a man

The blackmail method is best used when all other possible methods have already been used and have not brought any results. This method of manipulation is as follows: you are trying to scare a man, trying to force him to fulfill your request, otherwise you promise to do something that he cannot bear, which he is terribly afraid of, which he dreams of in nightmares.

Manipulation will only bear fruit if you know what a man is afraid of. For example: “If you don’t stop throwing your dirty socks around the house, I’ll stop washing them,” “If you come home from work so late every day, I’ll go to my mother,” “If you don’t stop drinking, I’ll leave you.” You must understand the danger of this method of manipulation: after all, you can not scare a man, but, on the contrary, make him happy. Perhaps he is just waiting for you to finally leave him or go to your mother, and he will do what he really wants. In addition, there is a danger that manipulative blackmail can lead to a serious quarrel. As soon as you feel that you have gone too far and your threats only annoy the man, you should stop and try to make peace.

If you decide to use this ploy, you must be as serious as possible - do not smile, speak confidently and decisively. Do everything so that a man believes you, is truly frightened, feels himself in your power. Remember that you must be serious, otherwise you will not be believed and you will lose. Your demand and your actions, in case of non-fulfilment, must be proportionate: for example, if you want your man to stop being late for dates, you can scare him by becoming forgetful yourself and just not come next time.

Remember also that you should not resort to this method of manipulation too often. If you have never tried to carry out your threat, the man will understand that you are just bluffing, that your blackmail is nothing more than a desperate attempt to make him dance to your tune. That's why this way it is best to apply only in exceptional cases, when other methods no longer help.

Chapter 3

How to persuade a man to do what you want?

Rule #26

How to persuade a man to visit your mother?

Persuading a man to visit your mother - a real or potential mother-in-law - is not an easy task. It so happened historically that the relationship between a parent and a contender for the hand and heart of her daughter, as a rule, has a slightly strained character.

There are, of course, happy exceptions when mother-in-law and son-in-law live in perfect harmony. If people close to you can not make contact, then this chapter is for you.

Are your lover's visits to your mother so rare that he still can't remember her name? Does your offer to visit your mother make him nervous? Is he always looking for an excuse to turn down another date? Use manipulation to persuade your man to pay another visit to your mother. Here are some ways you can use.

Method 1: "Flew out of my head." The essence of this method is as follows: you report a meeting with your parent suddenly, referring to your own forgetfulness: “Dear, I’m sorry, I forgot to tell you that today my mother is waiting for us to visit.” If your beloved tries to refuse the meeting, say that it’s impossible , because your mother has already prepared her signature pie and is certainly waiting for you. If that doesn't work, then come up with some imaginary reason for the visit - for example, a visit in honor of a birthday or a promotion.

Method 2: "Phenomenal forgetfulness." Begin preparations for the visit without explanation. When your beloved asks where you are going, reproach him for forgetfulness: “I told you last week that we were going to visit my parents, but you, as usual, forgot. You know how important this is to me."

Method 3: "Get sympathy for your mom." In order to make meeting your loved ones more desirable, try to make them like each other. How to do it? You should not literally retell your telephone conversations with your mother, convey all her reproaches and discontent. Compliment your lover on her behalf: “My mother admired you so much, she thinks that I made a good choice”, “Mom says that you are very talented and smart”, “Mom is sure that you are making a good career.”

Try to persuade your mother to be more friendly and benevolent towards your chosen one. Even if he does not suit her in some way, explain to her that this is your choice and you do not intend to change anything. Persuade her to please your companion: let her praise him, cook his favorite dish for dinner, be attentive to him. Then your man will understand that your mother is not such a tyrant and despot as she seemed at first, she is a very nice person and treats him with respect. The emerging sympathy will make their meetings much more pleasant.

Rule #27

How to persuade a man to give you an expensive gift?

You want to persuade your man to spend a significant amount of money on you, but you don't know where to start. You understand that you should not act directly, since you may come across a decisive “no” on his part, but which of the methods of manipulation should you use? Which one will be the most effective?

In order to achieve your goal, you can use several fairly effective methods of covert control.

Your task is to convince the man that the acquisition of this thing is vital for you, that you cannot do without it at all. How to convince him of this? Try to use all your acting talents. The success of the whole event will depend on how much you yourself will want to purchase a new dress or jewelry. You don't have time for doubt. Once in a jewelry store, try to sincerely portray admiration for the chic necklace that you have been dreaming of for so long. Feel free to express yourself, try to be maximalist: “This is exactly what I have dreamed of all my adult life, if I get this, I will be the happiest woman in the world.” If your man believes that this purchase is really important for you, he is unlikely to refuse you it. Try to confuse the man, mislead him about the required amount. If he asks the seller to name the price, ask the seller not to name it right away: refer to the fact that you don’t want to be upset, but still would like to try on. If you wear the jewelry or dress of your dreams, then consider that you have already won half.

There is another important tip. Never warn your man in advance about the upcoming shopping trip or that you want to buy a very expensive item. By warning him in advance of upcoming expenses, you give him time to think. During this time, he can gather his thoughts, think carefully about whether it is worth giving you such an expensive gift. It's better if you drag your beloved into a trendy boutique or expensive restaurant quite spontaneously, as if not intending to buy anything. Such spontaneity will be in your favor - a man simply will not be able to orient himself, therefore, most likely, he will fulfill your “little” whim.

In addition, bringing your beloved to the store, you get one more advantage - you can demonstrate a future purchase. As you know, visibility is better than a thousand words. Your man will surely appreciate how great the necklace or evening dress you have chosen looks on you. And perhaps, without even looking at the price, he will give the seller his credit card.

Rule #28

How to persuade a man to cook dinner?

There is a common misconception among men that only women should cook. Men's concern is to earn more money, and a woman must create all the conditions for this: first of all, feed her man. The male half of the population is not embarrassed by the fact that women, just like them, work, look after children (if there are any, of course), take care of themselves and manage to tidy up the house. Men often do not wonder how their beloved manages everything.

If you don't want to turn into a tormented housewife with only housework on her mind, you will have to learn how to exploit your beloved. If you have no idea how to get your man to help you around the house, for example, to cook something edible for you, then this chapter is for you.

To begin with, try to convince him that cooking is not a purely feminine occupation and that many men love to cook very much, and in restaurants the chef is predominantly male. It is not necessary to state this directly. You can talk about this topic by chance, as if not pursuing any goals. During dinner, for example, you can tell your man a story about the wonderful talent of your girlfriend's husband: they say that he cooks in such a way that you just lick your fingers. One of the many culinary programs can be among your favorite programs, it is better if the participants are predominantly men. It is desirable that your man be present when watching it and at least look at the TV screen with one eye.

The most important thing is to get the first step on the part of a man: if he picks up a cookbook, then he will probably wake up with a desire to surprise you. As they say, dashing trouble is the beginning. How to achieve this? Come up with some urgent business for yourself that will prevent you from coming home for dinner for a week. For example, an emergency at work: a balance sheet or something else. The first days a man can eat in a cafe, but sooner or later he will get up to the stove and try to satisfy his need for homemade food. Perhaps the beginning will not be too virtuoso - a banal scrambled eggs and pasta with sausages, then he will be interested in the recipe in the cookbook specially left by you on the table. And, who knows, maybe when you come home after another hard day at work, you will find on the table a wonderful dinner prepared by the hands of your own husband.

Another way to get a man to stand up to the stove is a sharp deterioration in the quality of your dishes: for completely incomprehensible reasons, you learn how to cook - everything burns and is oversalted so that it is completely impossible to eat. Having eaten to the full with salted soup and burnt cutlets, your man will simply have to take a book of recipes into his hands.

There is another reliable way to make a man cook. It is known that men are very kind to pregnant women, they try to please them in everything. So, if your desire to teach your beloved to cook coincides with your joint desire to have a child, then go ahead. Your loved one will be ready for anything for you and your future child.

Rule #29

How to persuade a man to pay more attention to you?

Do you think that your beloved does not pay enough attention to you? He has too much to do at work, so he always comes back late, or meets with his friends too often, or maybe, when he comes home, he just lies down on the sofa and watches TV, not even wanting to talk to you. If you want to make a difference, then you need to seriously work on your relationship.

There may be various reasons for this behavior. Perhaps he is thinking about your future and trying to earn as much money as possible. Or he just values ​​his friends very much, so he is always glad to meet them. Another option: he is so tired at work that he does not have time to talk at all. But in any case, if a man does not pay enough attention to you, you are also the culprit of this inattention. Perhaps the man has lost interest in you, he has become bored in your company, so he is looking for a way to reduce the time of your joint leisure. You can change the situation if you want.

Try to turn the return of your man home from work into a little holiday. The main thing is that the desire to go home returns to him, there is confidence that a beautiful wife is waiting for him there and a delicious dinner is ready. Analyze the topics of your conversations, think about whether you are an interesting interlocutor for your man. Very often, women simply do not know how to interest a man, they incessantly crackle cosmetics, fashionable clothes and women's trinkets. You must understand that men are a different world, they are interested in completely different topics. Of course, you don't have to talk to them about cars and football, but you can try to get into his inner world, try to show interest in the things he lives for - his work, his friends, his hobbies.

Being an interesting conversationalist for your chosen one is half the success. The other depends on your ability to use the little female tricks. To get more attention, you need to be able to attract it. How? Very simple.

- Darling, how do I look today?(And you must always look your best, and you can ask this question as often as you wish.)

It will be nice if strangers can appreciate your beauty and charm. Your relationship will benefit from a little jealousy on the part of your chosen one. Your man could lose interest in you, because he was sure that you were in his power and would not go anywhere. Try to shake his confidence, create a threat to his inner peace, make him worry. As soon as there is a danger of losing you, a man will begin to pay attention to you much more often than before.

The desire of a man to be close to his beloved woman largely depends on her talent to organize joint leisure. Remember how long ago you were in the cinema together, sitting in the last row and kissing. When was the last time you went to a restaurant or cafe together? Or maybe you just need to go to the skating rink, because you used to love to do this very much. In general, think about how you can diversify your life, make it colorful, fill it with new experiences, be proactive - and then your man will pay more attention to you.

Rule #30

How to persuade a man to make repairs to your taste?

You really want to update your dilapidated housing - redevelop, revive the interior. But you can’t come to a compromise in any way, you constantly quarrel over trifles. The repair was delayed, because you can’t agree on which wallpaper to prefer.

The repair problem has become fatal for many couples: the lovers parted without coming to a compromise. If such a dangerous issue as housing renewal has appeared in your life, you should be very careful about it and act not through persuasion and requests, but through manipulation.

Men are sure that they are much better than women at all, with regard to repairs. In order for your opinion in choosing wallpaper and new furniture to become authoritative for your man, you need to work hard.

To begin with, you yourself need to decide what you want. It is important that you clearly articulate the idea of ​​your new interior. You should not prove to your chosen one only out of a sense of contradiction and self-importance that the bedroom must certainly have yellow wallpaper, and not brown, as he wants.

You need to turn your idea into the idea of ​​your man, convince him that it originated in his head. Make him believe that he wants yellow wallpaper, not brown. How to do it?

Use the "random page" method. Leave, as if by accident, a fashionable interior design magazine on the dining table. It should be opened exactly on the page on which the interior is depicted, in your opinion, very well suited for your apartment. If the man does not react in any way to this, then you can completely “accidentally” forget this magazine in the bedroom, in the living room, or even in the closet (your man will definitely have time to think there). The result of such a manipulation should be his complete confidence that the interior design that HE found in the magazine would be very good for your apartment.

If this technique does not work and your man remains in his opinion, then you can turn to a qualified specialist. People, as a rule, are more willing to trust the authoritative opinion of an outsider. Consult with an interior designer first. Ask him at the next meeting, which you will come to with your man, to advise you exactly the option that you liked the most. Be sure that your man will agree with the opinion of a specialist. You can even doubt the designer's advice: "But it seems to me that the option with brown wallpaper will suit us." We assure that the man will agree with the opinion of the specialist. The deed is done: you can safely proceed to the long-awaited repair.

Rule #31

How to persuade a man to quit smoking?

Your man smokes too much, you have tried everything: persuasion, requests, and threats, but nothing works on him. It still smokes like a steam locomotive, despite your dislike of this bad habit. Well, it's time for you to resort to manipulation and help your man quit smoking.

This is a very difficult question: is it necessary to try to wean a man to smoke. The fact is that for a smoker with experience, opponents of a bad habit are his enemies. In most cases, a smoker depends on cigarettes both physiologically and psychologically. Moreover, if physiological dependence can be overcome with the help of various medications, then it is not possible to get rid of psychological dependence. This is where you can help your loved one.

You can’t use the blackmail technique in this case: if you don’t quit smoking, then I will leave you. A man, most likely, will not quit smoking, but will secretly continue to poison his body. Perhaps your words can be the beginning of a serious confrontation or even conflict between you.

You must operate by the method of covert control. Your task is to convince him that smoking is an addiction and that it greatly limits his existence. Invite, for example, him to a new restaurant, book a table in advance. Arriving there, you kind of accidentally find out that this is a non-smoking restaurant. On the one hand, you deliberately create discomfort for your man, and on the other hand, you prove to him that a bad habit limits him. Arrange more frequent trips to the cinema, theater - where you need to limit yourself for a long time in satisfying the need to smoke. When you meet your mother, you can ask him not to tell her that he smokes, as she hates cigarette smoke and always swears. Your man is unlikely to refuse you, and during the entire visit he will have to hide his addiction to nicotine.

Try to let him know that he is able to cope with nicotine addiction. Always celebrate his progress: "Honey, you haven't smoked for three hours." Be on his side, be his friend, not his enemy. Help, don't scold.

In order to quit smoking, your man must have an incentive, so to speak, a super task. He must answer himself the question: why does he want to get rid of cigarettes? For women, pregnancy can become such an incentive: many women will quit smoking when they learn that they will become mothers. Your pregnancy can also be a stimulus for your chosen one: "The child needs fresh air, so you should quit smoking in the apartment, or rather quit completely, so as not to make your first child a passive smoker." Or, for example, you can find your man a vacant position in a prestigious company. When he gets excited about getting this job, you can let him know that this company favors people without bad habits. Then, perhaps, he will have a desire to get rid of his addiction.

It is possible that you will not succeed in completely weaning your beloved addiction, but even if you reduce the number of cigarettes you smoke per day, this will be a great achievement.

Rule #32

How to persuade a man to marry you?

Do you think that your relationship with your beloved man is stuck in one place? You are still just his girlfriend and he is just your boyfriend. You have long been convinced of the strength of your feelings, but for some reason he is in no hurry to propose to you. You think it's time to take the bull by the horns.

A man's fear of marriage is understandable: almost every man is afraid of losing own independence, part with the so-called male freedom. Just like any woman is afraid to remain unmarried or simply an old maid. How to persuade your man to marry? Yes, it's very simple: you need to convince him that marriage is not as scary as it seems. You must save your loved one from the widespread male prejudice that the end of a bachelor's life is the beginning of a new, boring and hopeless, life of a married man.

Almost every man is frightened by the persistent female desire to become his wife. Therefore, try to hide from your chosen one your irresistible desire to get a stamp in your passport. There are tricks of many women that are resorted to in order to force a man to marry. Someone gives birth to children, counting on the nobility of their father: he will not abandon his offspring. Someone is trying to lure a man with their culinary talents: I am such a good hostess, you simply cannot find better. This is also a kind of manipulation, but each of these methods has its own errors: they may or may not work.

We offer you a win-win option. You must fully support the man in his conviction that a good deed cannot be called marriage. Stand on the side of inveterate bachelors who do not want to hear anything about wedding ceremonies, dresses, festivities of boring distant relatives. Be persistent in your rejection of the institution of marriage as such. Try to convince your man that you want to always be free as the wind.

At first, such a policy cannot but please your man. He will admire you, so unlike other women, and rejoice in his own happiness. But after a while, a treacherous thought will surely come to his mind: if you value your freedom so much, are you ready to part with it for him, are you able to prove your love. Your man may be seriously afraid that you, so bright and extraordinary, will simply leave him at one fine moment. Be sure that sooner or later the proposal to marry on his part will come first timidly, then more and more insistently.

Your task is to play the performance to the end, not to agree to the first marriage proposal. He must seek your consent as long and painfully as he sought reciprocity from you. Men always value what they had to get with blood and sweat.

Rule #33

How to persuade a man to have a child?

You can not wait to give birth to a child, but for some reason your chosen one is against it? He is sure that a child is too responsible a step that can change your whole life. And he's not ready for it yet. How to convince him that a child is not only a burden of responsibility, but also a wonderful gift of fate?

Among the manipulative techniques, the method " good example". We saw young parents with a baby walking in the park - be sure to note how cute they look. If you have friends with a child, be sure to organize a trip to them together with your chosen one. See how they live, how they cope, ask if they have free time, if they manage to relax. It is best if the baby is already over a year old, and the parents have already managed to acclimatize after his appearance.

Your man can change his mind about fatherhood if you arrange for him to talk to a new dad. It will be great if dad shares his impressions of the arrival of a new member in their family. He will tell you how much he changed his life. It will be great if the impressions of the father of the child are so vivid and striking that your beloved will burn with the desire to have a child of his own.

If this does not work, then try using the "immersion" method. Make an appointment with your friend who has a child. And ask your man to sit with her child for a short time while you chat about your business. Very often, men do not want to have children, because they experience some fear of them: many simply do not know what to do with them. For such insecure men, this method is suitable. After sitting with a child for an hour and a half, a man will begin to form an image of fatherhood, he may ask the question: “Can I be a good father?” If he fails to establish contact with the child after the first meeting, then it should be repeated several more times until he has an interest in the child and a desire to experience fatherly feelings.

Rule #34

How to persuade a man to leave his mistress?

You accidentally found out about the betrayal of your loved one. How to act in such a situation? Leave him, make a scandal or demand that he immediately break up with his mistress? If you decide to save your union, we will help you with this.

Cheating does not happen from scratch, therefore, if you are sure that your beloved has started an affair on the side, you must analyze your relationship and understand where you made a mistake, where you are imperfect and what he lacks.

If you still decide to save your relationship, your man is dear to you, then scandals, persuasion and pleas are unlikely to help you. Use the hidden control technique so that your man voluntarily leaves his mistress. Few women manage to win back their man, getting out of the water dry, that is, to maintain their union and at the same time not to drop their own dignity. How to do it? Here are just a few helpful tips and effective techniques.

1. If a man has not yet revealed his secret to you, and you found out about it by chance, having met him with his mistress, then know that he values ​​\u200b\u200byour relationship, he does not want to lose you, and the connection on the side is not so serious for him. In this case, use your own importance, provoke a situation in which a man understands that he can lose you. To do this, you just need to expose your beloved, bring him to clean water, make it clear that you know everything. Exposure should not be accompanied by a scandal or threats, try to be balanced and as calm as possible.

2. Make a man jealous. Create intrigue in your relationship - hint that you also have an affair. This can be done very simply: ask a friend to call you late in the evening, and when a man asks who it was, get embarrassed and come up with some ridiculous excuse that it was a work colleague . For a man, as a rule, your betrayal is a fantasy. They allow their own betrayal, but do not imagine that their woman can change them. If he has a suspicion that you are cheating on him, then he will throw all his strength into finding out the truth. You can keep up the intrigue by making new allusions without presenting direct evidence. Your man will begin to pay more attention to you, and he simply will not have time for his mistress, but interest in you will wake up if he realizes that he must seek you again, moreover, “beat off” you from your imaginary lover.

3. And, finally, an integral part of female manipulation is a seductive appearance. You will have to make more than one trip to the beauty salon. Awaken in yourself the desire to spend your entire salary on yourself. The compliments of the surrounding men addressed to you, their passionate glances should make your man look at you with the same eyes that he looked once upon a time when he courted you. Try to revive his feelings, and he himself will forget the one he wanted to exchange you for.

Rule #35

How to persuade a man to give you a salary?

Does everyone in your family have their own pocket, their own expenses and incomes? You dream that your beloved will give you everything to the penny. And he still hides his income from you, and you only have an approximate idea of ​​​​how much he receives. How to be?

If you and your lover are accomplished individuals who have Good work you may not be asking this question. But if you still do not have an idea about the family budget, your family cannot be called complete. In order to force your beloved to reveal all the hidden items of income and expenses, you can use several effective manipulation techniques.

Usually men hide their income in order to make it easier to hide expenses. After all, if you don’t know how much he earns, you won’t know how much, and most importantly, what he spends his savings on. Your task is to “unwind” your man, make him play openly.

This can be done in the following way. Try to pass your total expenses on it. Let him pay for groceries, utilities, going to restaurants and movies. You can explain your insolvency by the fact that, having received your next salary, you decided to look into a fashion boutique and accidentally spent everything. This can be repeated for more than one month, until your beloved himself offers you to spend your “general” savings more economically. Thus, you will lead him to the idea that it is time to combine your financial efforts.

Another variant. You may have an idea to buy a car or an apartment. The main thing is that this purchase is of interest to your man. You can look after a new car together, consult on estimates and about loan options. Thus, you will kindle in your man the desire to purchase this thing as soon as possible. That's when you can start taking action. “Darling, we can only fulfill our dream if we are very economical, start to consider our expenses.” You can even try to start a family budget book, in which you will keep track of your savings. In such a situation, your beloved is unlikely to refuse to share his savings, because buying a new car is in his interests. And after its acquisition, the concept of "family budget" will become familiar to both of you.

Chapter 4

How to resist the manipulation of men?

Rule #36

Develop reflection: understand yourself, your goals and the goals of others

Do you think that you are very easily influenced by the representatives of the stronger sex? Do you feel unable to resist their manipulations? In order to give a worthy rebuff to the manipulator, you must learn to understand yourself and your goals.

In order to expose the manipulator, try to always anticipate the further development of events, think ahead, try to find out the man's goal before he voiced it. Be alert and always ready to refuse if the man's offer does not interest you. If you feel that a man is pulling you into his web like a spider, then you should refuse his offer.

Let us give an example of a conversation between a manipulator and a girl who succumbed to his influence and failed to resist his manipulation. , does not contain any threat. Hearing such a confession, the girl is naturally flattered, embarrassed, she tries to respond with sincerity to sincerity. She agrees to a date. Having secured the consent, the young man does not let her come to her senses, he immediately offers her two options for a date: a hotel outside the city or an apartment in a local motel. The girl is confused and does not know what to choose. The man insists on a quick decision. She decides that it’s not worth going out of town, and chooses a more suitable, in her opinion, option - a hotel in the city. A man orders a rather expensive room, in the room he treats his chosen one with champagne and delicacies - all this costs him dearly. The girl begins to feel awkward, she feels that she owes her companion. She understands that she is unlikely to be able to refuse him if he asks her to spend the night with him. Which is what happens as a result.

In this case, the skillful actions of the manipulator-man and the inability to resist him on the part of the girl are evident. What should have been done in this situation? The girl did not even try to figure out the purpose of this man, although it was obvious from the very beginning. The man suggested that she arrange a date not in a restaurant or a park, but in a hotel, from which one could conclude what he was trying to achieve. In this case, the man skillfully used a manipulative technique. He offered the girl an imaginary alternative: to spend time either in a country hotel or in a city one. In fact, the essence of the proposal has not changed. In such a situation, the girl could herself suggest a third scenario, for example, take a walk in the park or go to her favorite cafe. She did not do this and found herself at the mercy of her companion. But, even having accepted his proposal, she should not feel awkward, feel indebted to her companion. The girl was embarrassed because the man spent a lot of money - this is another method of manipulation. The man hoped that by giving his companion such a gift, having rendered some kind of service, he could ask her for anything. It so happened that the girl could not refuse when he made her a fairly frank proposal. Girl's mistake this example is very indicative: we can conclude that in dealing with a man you need to be on the alert, be able to calculate his goals in advance and be able to refuse if his goals do not coincide with your desires.

Rule #37

Be extremely careful

Often men turn out to be successful manipulators due to banal female inattention. Women are not always able to concentrate on the main subject of conversation, it is very easy to switch them to extraneous subjects. Therefore, one more extremely important advice: in dealing with men, be careful!

In a conversation with a man, you should always filter out unnecessary information and leave only the main thing - what the man started this conversation for.

How to learn to concentrate on the main subject of conversation? First of all, remember the main tricks of the manipulator, with the help of which he can try to switch your attention, distract you, bring down the table. For example, in the course of a conversation, a man may suddenly remember an important meeting for which he is allegedly late, or an urgent call that he needs to make. Thus, he switches your attention. Your task is to concentrate on his request and try not to be distracted by these tricks. Very often manipulators after applying this technique ask you to immediately give a final answer to a question or make a decision. In order not to fall for these tricks, you should once again clarify with your interlocutor the essence of his request or proposal.

In a conversation with a manipulator, do not be afraid to ask again, clarify, interrupt. Some have been extremely successful in using the "quick talk" method to confuse a person. This method of manipulation is designed for the lack of attentiveness of a person who can miss important details of the conversation due to the interlocutor's fast pace. If you encounter this trick, ask the person to slow down and start over. Or, at the very beginning, ask some clarifying question - this will immediately knock the manipulator out of rhythm.

Another way to switch attention is to transfer the conversation to another topic.

Here are some examples:

- Honey, I'm going to meet my friends today. You know, you look great today. Have you changed your hairstyle?

- Honey, I'm leaving on a business trip for a week. Dinner today was excellent. Do you think you added curry to the chicken?

Similarly, men often divert our attention from an important subject. The essence of the manipulation is clear: the woman simply does not have time to think over the information received and, as a rule, answers the last question asked of her, losing sight of what was said at the very beginning. To prevent this from happening to you, try to immediately resist manipulation: without answering the question, ask a counter one:

- I didn't hear when you meet your friends.

- Please repeat when you are going on a business trip.

Rule #38

Pretend to be ignorant and unaware of the matter

You were asked to fulfill a small request, but you don’t really want to do this, but you also don’t want to offend the one who asks with the refusal. In order to competently refuse, you can pretend to be a person who does not understand this issue: “I cannot understand the essence of your request.”

A colleague at work asks you to work for a non-shift on a day off. You really don’t want to lose your day off, but it’s somehow embarrassing to refuse without a good reason. You can answer like this: “You know, last month I also changed shifts with Marinka, but something was messed up in the accounting department and the salary was calculated less than usual. I tried to find out, but I didn’t understand anything in their explanations and decided not to change shifts with anyone anymore, otherwise I’ll get the least of all. To all his persuasions and proposals to figure it out yourself, you can simply dismiss it and stand your ground: “I didn’t understand this issue and I don’t want to be fooled again.”

We find another illustrative example of such manipulation in the literature - in N. V. Gogol's poem "Dead Souls", the female character Korobochka behaves similarly. Chichikov calls her "club-headed" because she does not want to sell dead souls to him and explains this by the fact that she does not understand what the essence of the transaction is. Such tactics characterize Korobochka as a woman with good intuition: she understands that Chichikov wants to cheat her and tries to resist his manipulations.

You can use this tactic in various situations: misunderstanding of the interlocutor very often infuriates even an experienced manipulator, he loses his temper and, as a rule, does not reach the intended goal.

The boss calls you and asks you to tell about the violations you noticed on the part of the employees of the enterprise. You do not want to spoil relations with the boss, but you also do not want to give out “your own”. He tries to find out the truth from you, using the most sophisticated methods of manipulation. The easiest and surest way to resist is to say that you have seen nothing and know nothing. The main thing in this situation is to be persistent in your "testimonies". In no case do not enter into long explanations and bickering about what if you knew, you would definitely say, because you are a very honest worker and always tell the truth. Answer all questions in one word: “I didn’t see anything,” “I don’t understand what you are asking,” “I definitely don’t know what to tell you,” etc. The monotony of answers will not allow your boss to find a weak spot in your testimony, and he will have to believe you.

Rule #39

Don't make decisions "here and now"

If you are required to make an immediate decision, this means only one thing: your interlocutor is trying to manipulate you, he is trying not to give you time to think, so that you do not change your mind and reject his offer. Your task is to slow down the hurried interlocutor and take a time out in order to weigh everything.

Imagine this situation: you are walking through the stores and suddenly you see a huge poster on one of them: “Only today and only we have 99% discounts on all products.” Do you think you'll go inside? Certainly. A very tempting offer. The store has even more attractive information - on all products you see two price tags: one, old, with a five-digit number, the other with a three-digit one. "Wow! you think. "I'm extremely lucky." Although you didn't intend to buy anything anytime soon, the unique offer made you change your mind and you are in a hurry to make as many purchases as possible at this unique price. Coming home, considering new acquisitions, you find that things are not of very good quality, some are defective, and you did not even take the check in a hurry. A week later, as you pass by this store, you stumble across the same unique sale sign and see people leaving the store with happy faces, thinking about how fabulously lucky they are.

This example once again proves the truth: measure seven times, cut once. You always need to think, even when you are offered an unrealistically good deal, a unique purchase with a crazy discount, or something else. In any case, remember that if you are asked to make a decision now, then you need to be on your guard. After listening to your interlocutor, you should answer the questions: “Do I need this right now? For such money? Will this work for me?" If the answers are positive, then you should not lose your head and agree to a purchase or a deal. You must receive appropriate guarantees: that if the case fails, you can get the money back. If your interlocutor does not give such a guarantee, it means that you have a manipulator who wants to deceive you.

Rule #40

Don't talk too much about yourself

Any information about you can be used against you. This is the law of manipulation. If you figured out the manipulator, try to deprive him of the main tool - information about yourself, because the most effective way to resist manipulation is not to tell anything about yourself.

In reality, it can be difficult to resist the offer of a manipulator, especially if you like him. But it's still in your best interest to pull yourself together and refuse his offer. First, take a defensive position. Ignore his suggestions at all costs. However, in order to get his way, a slick manipulator may invite you to visit a trendy club or a newly opened bar. Refuse without giving a reason. Do not go into details and tell him that you prefer other types of recreation or that you do not really like noisy places. Entering into explanations, you help the manipulator: you give out invaluable information about yourself, which he will definitely try to use. A week later, he may present you with a ticket to the cinema or theater. Perhaps he really wants to please you, or perhaps this is just a tactical move. Most likely, he is just looking for a special approach to you. Tries to use knowledge about you that you suggested. Once you accept his offer, he will immediately begin to use his influence on you.

Girls very often fall for the bait of clever manipulators, making contact with them, talking about interests and hobbies. Experienced men from one insignificant conversation will immediately extract all the necessary information about you and use it next time.

Therefore, in the fight against the manipulator, be vigilant, do not enter into lengthy conversations, do not talk about your hobbies and secrets. If you do not want to seem impolite, answer all his questions in an abstract way, for example, that you do not want to talk, that you are not disposed to entertainment, or that you have too much to do. With such answers you will confuse even the most dexterous manipulator, he will not be able to learn anything new about you and, most likely, after a while he himself will be forced to abandon the dream of achieving the task.

Rule #41

Try not to show pity

Some men try to get their way from a woman in a very effective way - they cause pity. The mechanism of this manipulation is clear: a woman is unlikely to refuse to help a man unhappy and offended by fate. In order to arouse pity in a woman, men can pretend to be the most unfortunate creatures in the world, invent a story about how they were kicked out of work, abandoned by their wife.

In dealing with such "unfortunate" men, you need to be very careful. If you do not know your interlocutor well and you do not have the opportunity to check his legend, then do not rush to enter into his position, leave yourself a legitimate right to doubt. You can easily determine whether he is telling you the truth or trying to deceive, take advantage of the effect of his story. Sympathize with your interlocutor and try to find out some details of his misfortune. If he refuses to tell you his story in detail, then most likely he wants to deceive you and intentionally arouse pity. After all, if he did not want to remember this, then it is not clear why he even began to tell you about his difficult fate. There is another sign that can distinguish the supposedly unfortunate from the real. Imaginary unfortunates, as a rule, talk about their fate very pathetically, it seems that they are retelling a romantic story borrowed from some novel. People who have really experienced a tragedy either state the facts of their biography very dryly, or try not to mention it at all.

Once you figure out the manipulator, keep your eyes open. Of course, you can sympathize, but at the same time remain in a sober mind, do not lose the ability to analyze what is happening. After all, the feeling of pity deprives a woman of this ability, sometimes she is imbued with confidence in the interlocutor when he does not deserve it.

You will finally understand that you have a skillful actor in front of you when, at the end of your story, your interlocutor asks for a favor. He kind of apologizes for his request: “I was fired and I didn’t have any money left, the last money went to pay off a loan (or for my daughter’s wedding) - could you lend me some until I get back on my feet?” Or another option: "My wife left me, and I'm so lonely, I just need female affection and tenderness." Of course, it is very difficult to refuse such requests, but you must remember that this is not an unfortunate person, but a skilled manipulator who uses his mask in order to get what he needs from you.

In such a situation, you need to play for time - try to find an opportunity to think about his request. Try to knock the manipulator out of his thoughts, to ensure that the pity caused by him gives way to common sense. It is best to leave him for a while in order to weigh everything and make the right decision. After you come to your senses, you can soberly evaluate the pros and cons of his proposal.

Rule #42

Always be wary of overly kind compliments.

Remember Krylov's famous fable "The Crow and the Fox": in this work, the Fox acts as a real manipulator, her manipulation succeeds - she receives the coveted piece of cheese from the Crow. And the essence of this manipulation is ordinary flattery.

It is known that women love with their ears, for them there is nothing sweeter than the music of admiration, especially if these words sound from a male mouth. Most of the representatives of the fair half simply lose their heads and become convenient victims for the manipulator.

When should you be concerned? First, if a man rarely complimented you or never praised you at all. And then suddenly he was exactly changed: he tells you all day that you look wonderful, noticed your new shoes and appreciated the perfume. This is the first signal that something is wrong here. The second bell of danger: if the man's compliments have become more sugary, more like flattery than true admiration. This is also a sign that a man needs something from you.

The essence of the manipulation is very simple: a woman loses her head from compliments and becomes easily controlled, more trusting, begins to feel sympathy for her interlocutor. That's when a man can ask her for something.

How to resist a manipulator who is trying to ingratiate himself with you by saying a bunch of compliments? How to determine whether his admiration for you is sincere or false? This is no easy task. Get over it if you have adequate self-esteem, are able to objectively evaluate yourself and your own efforts. Try to analyze your interlocutor's compliments in terms of proximity to the truth. Of course, any woman is pleased to hear praises, especially from a man, but try to descend from the clouds to the ground and understand how these praises are true. Perhaps his words are more like flattery, uttered for selfish purposes. You should be wary if your interlocutor, with the enthusiasm of a poet, praises the harmony of your legs, and they may not have harmony, or he compliments your exquisite manner of dressing, and it seems to you that your taste is not all right.

As soon as you see through the flatterer, immediately begin defensive actions. You can use his own weapon: give him two or three compliments that are far from reality. Play with your interlocutor in the heroes of another famous Krylov's fable "The Cuckoo and the Rooster": "The Cuckoo praises the Rooster for praising the Cuckoo."

- Honey, these earrings match your eyes perfectly. You are so good at picking up jewelry. Could you help me choose a gift for my girlfriend?

- I would love to, but with your impeccable taste, you do not need an assistant and are even contraindicated.

Rule #43

What to do if a man creates the appearance of intellectual superiority

Women Prefer smart men, and therefore the representatives of the stronger sex are trying to produce the appropriate effect in order to gain confidence. Does your interlocutor sprinkle with the sayings of philosophers and use unfamiliar words? He seems too smart to argue with him, and you don't even try to prove your point, although it fundamentally diverges from the speaker's point of view. Be careful: you may just be manipulated.

Very often, in order to gain women's trust, a man creates the illusion of intellectual superiority. This method of manipulation is based on human fear of admitting one's ignorance. Therefore, instead of arguing with "smart" people, we tend to agree with them. How to distinguish a manipulator from a really smart person? Manipulators use bookish, underused words to appear smarter. Their speech is too pretentious for ordinary conversation. Clever man, on the contrary, does not boast of his intellect, but tries to explain his point of view in an accessible form for the layman. Manipulators, instead of the standard question “How are you? How is the weekend?”, you may be asked: “How is your precious well-being? Did you manage to enjoy your weekend?” In the speech of the “wise men”, words that you have not heard of often slip through - their use often leads to a dead end: “Don’t you think that she is behaving irrationally?” or "I think his tie is too eclectic, isn't it?" In speech, manipulators often use quotes from famous people: “Just on this occasion, Goethe said ...” or “But Schopenhauer thought differently ...”. Very often such quotes are invented and have nothing in common with those to whom they are attributed. This is done intentionally in order to embarrass the interlocutor: here, they say, how smart I am.

In order not to succumb to manipulation of this kind, we suggest mastering the following techniques. Learn a few "smart" words that your interlocutor is unlikely to have heard of, and if he has heard, he does not know what they mean - for example, congruence, transcendence, etc. You can invent several independent quotes and attribute them to famous people, just like your interlocutor did : "Recently I re-read Dostoevsky, and therefore he said about it ..." or "But Hegel believed that ...". By taking advantage of the tactics of the enemy, you can resist his manipulations. Of course, this method of confrontation can only be used if you are really sure that you are facing a manipulator who does not have encyclopedic knowledge.

Rule #44

How to counter your boss's manipulation?

Do you think that your boss often uses manipulation, and you are unable to resist them? A good boss is always a good manipulator. Its main task is to manage, sometimes for this you have to use hidden control levers.

How to calculate the boss-manipulator? Your boss has a democratic management style. He never shouts and demands nothing, but you always fulfill his demands peremptorily. After all, he is your boss. You find him charming, even attractive. He does not skimp on compliments and always notes changes in the appearance of employees. If the boss himself personally asks you for something, then you agree, for example, to work overtime without extra pay, go on a business trip instead of a sick employee. You never once asked for a pay rise. Your attitude towards the leader is respectful and respectful. If all of the above apply to your situation, then most likely you are being manipulated.

How to resist the manipulator if he is your boss? The task is not easy. First you need to learn to demand. Start small: ask for a day off at your own expense or a small amount up front. I'm sure you won't be denied. Further - more: salary increase, career growth, social benefits, etc. Of course, you will not come to this right away.

Your embarrassment in front of the boss is dictated by his ability to manipulate people, to make them trust him. You are flattered that he notices your new hairstyle, new dress and praises you for your success. That is why it is simply embarrassing for you to ask for material incentives for labor. A feeling of embarrassment arises for you: it is inconvenient for you to ask for something else from your already impeccable boss, it is embarrassing to reproach him for not appreciating your work enough. But such is life: you must convince your boss that you want to receive not only compliments and praises for your work, but also worthy material rewards.

Your position in the company will become stronger if you declare yourself, show your ability to resist the leader. You just need to do it without aggression and negativity. You can introduce an element of play, flirting into communication with a male director: react to his compliments, smile more often, joke. Remember that communication between a woman and a man is always something more, even if there is nothing between them.

Rule #45

What to do if a man uses his financial superiority?

One of the most reliable and proven ways to manipulate a woman is money. There is a rule of etiquette that says that a man who invites a lady to a restaurant must pay for her order. But this rule has long become a tool for clever manipulators of women's consciousness.

In the West, with the development of emancipation, women saw through this male trick, so everyone pays for himself there. In our country, this rule is valid, but with a caveat: a woman allows herself to pay for herself, but at the same time she feels obliged to her companion.

A feeling of awkwardness and unexpressed gratitude accompanies a woman if she receives an expensive gift, if a man pays for a taxi taken for two, or simply offers a woman to use his discount card. It is this feeling of awkwardness that the manipulators take advantage of.

Of course, a man can give you a gift or pay a restaurant bill disinterestedly, out of a feeling of sympathy for you, following the rules of good manners. But most often behind such actions lies a desire to force you to fulfill his request.

How to resist such manipulation? You must remember that if a man invited you to a restaurant and paid for your order, this does not mean at all that you should thank him in some special way, other than the usual “thank you”. Further requests or desires of a man, you can fulfill or not fulfill at your discretion. Remember that by paying for your order, the man simply followed the rules of etiquette, and did not provide you with an extraordinary service. In order to feel more confident in such situations, you can practice. For example, accept an invitation from strangers to join them in a bar, and after sitting for a while and ordering a glass of wine, bow out and leave. In this case, you will do everything right, the main thing is that the company is adequate. Repeat this "trick" several times. If you still feel awkward and begin to dance "to the tune" of your gentleman, then use the Western method - pay for yourself.

Rule #46

How to talk to a man who demonstrates his power superiority?

Men are stronger than women. This superiority is another way of manipulating the female consciousness. In order to persuade a woman to their side, to convince her that they are right, men demonstrate their advantage.

The mechanism of this manipulation is quite obvious: it is stronger, so it’s better not to argue with me. Men demonstrate their superiority to us daily. Heavy bag? I can deliver it. Has the car skidded? I can push her. Stuck lightning? I can fix it. Usually this is a display without intent, but skilled manipulators try to use this advantage for their own gain.

To do this, they can organize a whole performance: for example, stage an attack by hooligans and defeat them, or the theft of a handbag and its return. Your savior, strong and brave, is automatically the owner of your trust.

Manipulators can find a way to demonstrate their superiority in real life as well. For example, having noticed your titanic efforts to drag documents from the archive, the manipulator can offer its services. Or, seeing how you are trying to cross a huge puddle on your toes, he will carry you in his arms. Perhaps his actions are caused by a feeling of sympathy for you, or perhaps he wants to gain your trust, to arouse your sympathy.

Your actions: take a close look at a man who flaunts his strength in front of you. Try to guess his motives: whether he just wants to impress or tries to manipulate you. For the purity of the experiment, you can play the role of a gullible girl who is subdued by his charm and strength. You will figure out the manipulator when, having made sure of your trust, he expresses his request or desire. Convinced of his selfish intentions, you can safely refuse him if his proposal does not interest you.

Rule #47

How to communicate with men from the category "my boyfriend"?

There is a special type of men whom women classify as "their own". They are trusted with the most terrible secrets, they chat with them about clothes and discuss hobbies, they say about them: "Your boyfriend." These are men with whom they are mostly friends, but never have an affair. Be careful in dealing with such men, perhaps your friend is a skilled manipulator.

The universal way to win over a person is to become like him, become his copy, pretend that you share his interests. Gradually, they begin to perceive you as their own, and no one expects meanness or other trick from you. Remember the hero of the novel Gogol Chichikov, who had a unique talent for conquering hearts. He skillfully manipulated people, copying their behavior and agreeing with their assessments.

Agree, you rarely meet a man who enjoys talking about shopping or makeup. If your acquaintance does not belong to the category of sexual minorities, then most likely he is trying to enter into your confidence for further manipulation. You are unlikely to be able to refuse a "tiny" request to "your boyfriend."

You can resist such manipulation in the following way. Keep your communication with him to a minimum, try to avoid too frank conversations, do not give information about yourself, do not reveal the most secret secrets - otherwise you yourself will hand him a weapon against you. If you enjoy talking about women's issues with a member of the opposite sex, you can continue to do this, just don't let the manipulator get too close, keep it at a distance. At the first attempt to use his influence on you, let him know that his methods are unsuccessful.

- Honey, could you help me with this terrible report?

- You know, I'd love to, but I've got a lot of work to do myself.

- Honey, can you lend me some money before payday?

- I would like to help you, but I decided to.

After several failures, your "dear friend" may himself refuse to communicate with you and choose another object for manipulation.

Rule #48

How to resist the manipulation of a perfectly dressed man?

Impeccable appearance is another way of manipulation. A man dressed with taste and according to all the rules of modern fashion inspires confidence, doesn't it? Is it because you don’t often meet a man who meets all the rules of an impeccable appearance.

This method of manipulation is based on female attention to neat, well-dressed men. The impeccable appearance of men automatically increases the level of a woman's confidence in him.

Women try to judge men by themselves: since he is decently and neatly dressed, it means that he is worthy of respect. Although, you see, in practice, the pattern “a neat appearance means decency” does not always work.

If a man is dressed in accordance with all the rules and canons, then this may rather speak of his pedantry. There is a possibility that an impeccable appearance is a way of manipulating the female consciousness.

Of course, skilled manipulators use the ability to dress well as part of the manipulation as a whole, adding to this gallant demeanor, the art of persuasion, and other manipulative techniques. A manipulator who knows how to dress well is already half as close to victory. He has not said anything yet, has not done anything, and on a subconscious level you are already beginning to trust him.

In dealing with men of impeccable appearance, it would be useful to check: good taste in clothes is part of self-expression, or the first successful attack on gaining your trust.

Of course, you should not express distrust to all men with good taste. But you have the right to a certain amount of skepticism towards them. Be vigilant in dealing with stiff and impeccable men. See if this gorgeously dressed gentleman is trying to take advantage of the impression he made on you, or if your attention is simply flattering to him. Even if in the future this person only causes you sympathy, do not rush to agree to fulfill his request or wish. Have a rejection ready. Perhaps your sympathy is caused by a whole complex of manipulative techniques and you are under the influence of the false charm and charm of your interlocutor.

Rule #49

How to counter a manipulator with good manners?

A man who is familiar with the rules of good taste conquers immediately. He opened the door in front of you and let you go ahead, gave a hand at the exit of public transport or, ahead of you, gallantly opened the door of his own car in front of you. Do not rush to exclaim: “Gentlemen have not yet died out in this world!” It is possible that your gallant gentleman uses his tact for manipulative purposes.

Of course, it is foolish to accuse every somewhat gallant man of trying to manipulate you. Such signs of attention are a completely normal manifestation of a man's respect for a woman. But if your companion is too helpful and polite, if he shows signs of attention with obsessive persistence and a desire to please you, then, most likely, his gallantry is just a way to manipulate you.

It is quite obvious what this method of manipulation is based on. The fair sex gets tremendous pleasure from the attention paid by others. In fact, the norms of etiquette are an opportunity to express respect to your interlocutor. But it happens differently: some men use knowledge of the rules of good manners in order to achieve your location. The second option, unfortunately, is much more common. The manipulator expects that under the influence of his spell you will lose vigilance and readily fulfill any request.

How to resist such manipulations? If you are sure that your companion is manipulating you, you may not notice his attention: enter the building without waiting for the door to be opened to you. Pretend that you did not notice the hand offered to you, refuse the offer to help you carry your bag, unless, of course, it is too heavy. Thus, rejecting the advances of your companion, you disarm him, he loses the opportunity to impress you and take advantage of it.

You need to use such confrontation tactics only when you definitely want to know that his gallantry is nothing but a method of manipulation. Otherwise, ignoring your signs of attention will be regarded as a manifestation of disrespect for the interlocutor. Be careful.

Conclusion

To sum up our discussion of manipulation, we would like to reiterate the arguments in favor of this method of management. Until now, it is believed that this is not a completely honest way to achieve their goals, that it is used only by those people who are unable to achieve their goals with the help of their own mind of an Italian. But it happens that manipulation is simply necessary, because it is the only possible way goal achievement.

For men, there is nothing more terrible than being "heeled" by his missus, and therefore, if a woman tries to manage him, give advice or demand the fulfillment of her desires, this is usually perceived negatively. That is why women have to resort to manipulation.

Defending manipulation as a way to control the representatives of the stronger sex, we still want to warn you against using these methods of influence too often. Use manipulative technique when you think other methods won't work. Leave the man the right to his own opinion, you don’t want to turn a strong personality into a weak, dependent person, a zombie man, ready to fulfill all your requirements.

In addition, always remember that manipulation is different manipulation. There are types of manipulation that do not contain malicious intent and therefore cannot negatively affect the psyche of a person close to you. This, for example, is the use of one's own attractiveness and the method of frequent praise. But there are ways, the abuse of which can bring harm - this is blackmail, a deliberate lie. These methods can only be applied to last resort and only if you are sure that their use will not spoil your relationship.