Tears refer to uncontrolled physiological reactions to traumatic stressful situations, whether it be pain, resentment, or sudden joy. It is very difficult to force yourself to stop crying when the stress mechanics are already running, but you can learn to control your thoughts by artificially reducing the intensity of experiences by suppressing their importance. So is it possible to hold back tears when it is completely inappropriate, and what to do with pathological tearfulness?

Why are people crying?

We can talk about pathological tearfulness when a person reacts with tears to most episodes of strong emotional overstrain. No tear suppression techniques will help here - it is necessary to work with a psychologist who will work with the root cause of stress, which lies in the patient's childhood or acquired later.

Babies cry when they don't understand what's going on or when they don't have enough personal experience assess the situation. Having matured, a person begins to filter emotions in order of importance, focusing on the acquired skills. The strongest emotions require mandatory discharge, otherwise the individual risks bringing himself to a nervous breakdown.

Some people need to cry immediately upon receiving stressful information, and this reaction is called "immediate" - it is the most difficult to deal with and it is best to let it manifest itself and clear the mind of negativity.

Another kind of reaction is called "delayed", and it can be observed in introverts who are used to not flaunt their feelings. Often these people for a long time do not allow themselves to relax and immerse themselves in emotions, but there comes a point when stress accumulates and a person begins to cry, it would seem, for no particular reason.

How to hold back tears of resentment?

People perceive criticism differently, and for some, even a sensible remark, said in passing, can unsettle and make you burst into tears. It is good when, having felt a lump in the throat, a person can hide from everyone and cry to his heart's content, but most often this is impossible.

There are a few effective ways how to hold back tears from resentment when talking:

  • Switch to your breathing - take a few deep breaths in and out, focusing only on these sensations.
  • It hurts to pinch yourself, prick yourself with a pin, bite your tongue - that is, to distract yourself from psychological experiences in favor of physiological ones.
  • Slowly scroll through the recipe of a dish in your mind, mentally recite a verse, remember three phone numbers of friends.

How to hold back tears in public? If possible, it is advisable to drink a glass of water in small, measured sips. A good option to keep calm - switch attention to some object with many small details. While the nervous person will consider the subject, all his excitement will subside.

How to hold back tears of pain?

Even people with a high pain threshold sometimes have to cry from physical suffering, but not everyone is ready to put up with such a reaction of their body. How to hold back tears when you want to cry?

You can try to quietly do a few exercises that block tearing:

  • open your eyes as wide as possible and count to 10 without blinking;
  • raise your eyebrows to the limit and hold out for 7-10 seconds;
  • keeping your head straight, look up, as if you need to make out something hanging above the top of your head.

When the pain has already begun to recede, it is necessary to completely relax the upper part of the face and open and close your mouth wide 3-4 times, as if pronouncing the letter "A".

wedge wedge

In moments of deep stress, when tears are constantly welling up in your eyes and nothing is going well, you don’t need to force yourself to positive emotions, but it’s better to do the opposite - accept your sadness and let it dissolve on its own. Funny comedies and joyful music will serve as a reminder that while everything is bad here, someone is doing very well, and such thoughts will only add to the negative. How to hold back tears?

Philosophical life films and songs about unhappy love, sounding from headphones - this is the most best way reboot yourself and overcome grief in a short time. You can even make yourself a separate playlist of “music for depression” and include it in especially bleak moments - then the return to normal life will take less time.

Exit - in motion

How to hold back tears in secret from loved ones? Most smart women, in order not to burst into tears and not wallow in self-pity, they start cleaning. Active physical actions do not take away the opportunity to reflect on the situation, but they deprive stress of its main weapon - the lack of dynamics of events.

Being in motion, the human body intensively stimulates the production of estrogen hormones (androgens in men) and endorphins, which are responsible for increasing stress resistance and reducing anxiety. It has been proven that after 10 minutes of active cleaning (or after 5 minutes of exercising in gym) a person not only calms down, but is already ready to make decisions that can alleviate his situation.

Questions and answers

According to psychologists, one of the most common causes of uncontrollable tearfulness in an adult lies in his inability to take responsibility for own life. The emotional beam emanating from such a person is constantly directed towards other people, picking up all sorts of changes in their behavior and mood.

Such dependence on someone else's opinion gives many reasons for crying or depression - someone was rude, left at the wrong time, forgot to call, and now a person who does not have his own personal emotional settings is completely disoriented and ready to give up.

Correction of such a psychological disorder as tearfulness can take place without the help of a specialist, but it should always begin with the same questions asked to yourself: “What is my significance in my life? What controls my feelings and actions? Who controls me?" Having sincerely answered the questions, a person will have to admit that his role in his own destiny is very insignificant, and if this is not corrected, there will only be more reasons for tears.

mental attitude

How to be calm and remain a benevolent person if there is only negativity and turmoil around? Most home-work people think this way and see environmental pressures as the reason for their altered behavior. In fact, this is the same irresponsibility syndrome, but of a more generalized nature.

“I don’t have time to take care of my appearance, I have small children,” the woman says, justifying her tears about her friend’s luxurious appearance. If we admit the fact that a friend also has children, but at the same time she can afford to be riveted, then another reason for tears will turn into a powerful incentive to fight your own laziness. However, only a few are able to admit this, because working on oneself involves getting out of a comfortable state, but tears fit perfectly into the usual scheme of everyday life.

The right mental attitude, along with the development of responsibility, is able to turn a person’s idea of ​​himself, make him believe in his strengths and capabilities. Psychologists advise, when a person feels tears coming, provoked by feelings of hopelessness, envy or fatigue, repeat the affirmation to himself: “I am not a victim!” This short phrase acts surprisingly on the resolve of the individual to act and suppresses any need for self-pity.

Often holding back tears is dangerous

Loss of control over the emotional state can significantly reduce the quality of a person's life and make him an outcast of society. But the constant containment of emotions, a strict self-prohibition of “all sorts of weaknesses” will sooner or later lead to physiological problems, up to asthma or sciatica.

healthy, good emotions also need to be updated, and this happens when a person allows himself to accept that negativity, which still, drop by drop, but seeps into the life of each person. Problems at work, illness, parting of loved ones - these are the situations that make you want to part with them as they come, without keeping them in yourself for a minute. Accumulation of them, "exaggeration" of details provokes the development of sustained stress, which is complicated by numerous psychosomatic phenomena.

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The physiological feature of a person is the ability to cry. From the early childhood a person signals to parents by crying. In adulthood, tears help express feelings, unload your own emotional condition. But everything is appropriate in moderation. It is necessary to stop in time and know how to stop crying in order to maintain emotional and physical health.

In some cases, crying needs to be hidden. If you feel that tears are filling your eyes and ready to appear, use physical and psychological tricks to stop them.

Physical Prevention of Tears

People cry, but not everyone knows how to stop tears. Some are so sensitive that they throw out feelings at any emotional event. If you feel that tears are ready to flow, try blinking frequently or stop blinking altogether.

The physiological characteristics of some are such that blinking or not blinking and wide opening of the eyelashes cause the tear fluid to be evenly distributed and absorbed into the tear ducts. Tight muscles when opening the eyes stop the production of new tears. You can only determine which of these methods is right for you. empirically. Turn on a love drama or other movie that evokes emotions and practice.

Go from the contrary. I want to cry? Smile. This is the opposite of crying. In addition, a smile beneficially exposes you in the minds of others. Laugh out loud. This has a beneficial effect on the entire body. Smiling relieves irritation, negativity and prevents. Recall funny moments or look around you and find something that makes you laugh.

Stop tears by holding your nose. The basis of the phenomenon of this method are the laws of physiology. The tear ducts run from the lower part of the eyelids to the wing of the nose. Blocking paths when closed eyes prevents crying. This method works at the very beginning of the desire to cry.

Relax. Muscle relaxation is a way to calm and relax.

The technique consists of sequential tension and relaxation different groups muscles:

tense and relax the muscles of the toes;
go to the ankles;
tense and relax your pelvic muscles.

Distract yourself by pinching, pulling your hair, or other pain factor. This distraction is only good if the skin remains white without bruising after tingling. No need to torture yourself, try different ways to prevent crying.

Learn to control own body. If you feel that tears are close, start moving: clench and unclench your fists, stand up, walk around. Engage your muscles, sometimes a little effort is enough to stop crying.

Scientists have proven that often the source of crying is passivity and a feeling of helplessness. Make an effort to control yourself. Remind your own mind that you are in charge of it and all actions are performed only with your approval.

If all of the above methods are powerless, back off. Get out of the room to stop the escalation of conflict and contain emotions. Perform actions to completely calm down and only then return to the conversation again.

Psychological methods to prevent tears

Do you have willpower? Can you handle emotional stress? Every time you decide to cry, think about letting it go a little later. Get the best of emotional outbursts, even though it will be difficult. Deep breathing and concentration will help you.

Gather your thoughts on how to prevent crying. Gradually, you will learn to control your thoughts and be able to stop crying at inopportune times. Note that it is impossible to do without crying at all. Endless suppression of crying leads to breakdowns and psychological oppression.

Take advantage of distractions. Think about what will make you smile even in the most difficult moment and remember this case. If you do not know such a story, watch a funny video on the net. You can use mathematical calculations that will distract from the tense moment.

Imagine in your mind a place where you were pleasant and calm. Focus on the details that bring you the most satisfaction. Thus, you will force the brain to activate the zones responsible for satisfaction.

Bring the condition back to normal with meditation. To do this, it is not necessary to know what yoga is, it is enough to master 2-3 methods. One of them:

find a secluded place;
sit comfortably;
close your eyes;
inhale and exhale rhythmically and deeply.

Within a minute, your mind will be filled with positive sensations.

Try to get your emotions out on paper. Write: "Resentment", "Difficulty", etc. Write what makes you cry at this very moment. No need to print letters, write down as you can: in complete sentences or in one big word. When you come to your senses, reflect on what you have written. This technique helps in the same way as a sincere conversation with a close friend.

Often you want to cry because of troubles in your personal life. It seems that troubles haunt you. Take a deep breath at such moments and compare the situation with what has already happened in life. Consider that you have dealt with problems that are much more serious.

Thank fate, God for good things. Learn to thank, and in order to revive the necessary images in time, write down successful situations in a special notebook.

Find the reason for crying

Think about how crying can hurt you.

If you notice that tears appear more often, this may indicate underlying problems. Find the factors that make you cry, and display them in a notebook or notepad with the date. Fix negative thoughts and think, are they rational?

Reconsider your own ideals in terms of reality. Resolve for yourself to always look at what is happening realistically. Analyze when you do not know how to stop crying and tears are flowing non-stop. For some, tears cause photos, music, smells. Hide further, what can be hidden. Also indicate what remedies help get rid of this condition.

Analyze how you react to . Most often ignored conflict situations allows you to avoid moments when tears begin to shed from resentment. Decide how to properly respond to controversial situations and this will help you stop crying. Learn to control your emotions so they don't take over.

Change from passive to active. Decide your own destiny, and if you cannot do this, think about whether you really want this? People tend to blame others for their own mistakes: take offense at teachers, parents, friends, young man or a girl. Learn to take responsibility, and then you will not have to cry resentfully.

Thoughts can influence behavior. Always remember that negativity destroys the essence of a person from the inside. Constant discontent in others, relatives, to fears, to depression.

Do you stop crying when you remember bad moments from the past? What was not to return, realize how important reality is. The load of problems slows down, does not allow to live fully. Learn to say “No!” to your thoughts in time so that they do not take root in your head.

If tears often well up in your eyes and you don't know how to stop them, talk to a friend or loved one. Call the phone if it is far away or sit down for a cup of coffee. A heart-to-heart conversation helps to reconsider views on reality.

There are services psychological help. Call to hotline and experts will definitely help to cope with mental pain.

The doctor will find out the causes of crying and teach you to control emotions. Together you will come up with a plan that will help you overcome your emotions.

Drawing conclusions

In some situations, it is necessary to cry, but do not delay this process. The moment you feel like crying, consider if you can afford to be out of balance for a while. After all, crying requires a lot of emotional costs.

If emotions are overwhelming, find a secluded place and cry. Be alone so that nothing prevents you from calming down. Excessive crying leads to dehydration and loss physical strength. To calm down and restore water balance, drink a glass of water.

If you don't know how to stop crying in public, raise one or two eyebrows very high. Let others think that you are surprised. Sometimes talking to a stranger allows you to look at the situation from a different angle. Try this method when you go on a long trip or find someone to talk to at a bar.

If you have animals at home, recharge your energy from them. Often a simple stroke brings a person to life. In addition, animals will never judge and love you for who you really are.

March 15, 2014, 10:36 am

People cry from the very first day of life - this is a natural reaction of our body to stress. The cause of tears is a feeling of deep grief, resentment, disappointment. Pity and compassion, a sense of pride and sincere joy can also cause tears. Psychologists agree that crying is good. However, there are life situations when to cry means to lose, to show your weakness, vulnerability. What to do when you need to restrain yourself at any cost, you will learn from this article.

In what situations do you need to restrain yourself?

Women are often called crybabies. Yes, our mobile psyche reacts to any emotional shock. We cry from overwhelming feelings. Tears are needed. They help to cope with stress, extinguish negative emotions. Particularly useful for us are tears of sympathy, which heal not only our body, but also our soul.

But there are times when you can't cry.

Here is some of them:

  1. On the exam. It seems to you that the teacher is too picky and decided to give you a deuce in the test at any cost. But you are tired and studied all night. Tears of resentment well up in my eyes. These tears cannot be held back;

In such a situation, it is absolutely impossible to cry. Why? Small child Tears arouses pity for himself, attracts attention. Crying, he gives a signal: I am weak, have pity on me. In an exam, crying is more likely to cause a backlash. She cries, so she doesn’t know anything, she didn’t teach, she tries to pity.

To be equal with the teacher, you need to show that you are an adult and know how to restrain yourself.

  1. At the interview. At the interview, you are asked a lot of incorrect, in your opinion, questions, making you show emotions and get nervous. The fact is that the employer has his own idea of ​​what kind of employee he needs. In order to check whether the applicant is resistant to stress and unforeseen situations, the so-called stress interview. Shedding tears is the most unfortunate way out in this situation. This means showing your weakness and unsuitability for the job you are applying for. If you need this job, you should definitely hold back tears when talking with the employer;
  2. On the street with a large crowd of people. It happens that an unexpected trouble took you by surprise. A misfortune happened, a loved one left. The natural way out in this case is sobs and bitter tears. No need to cry in the street. This will cause unnecessary attention of strangers. Passers-by are unlikely to be able to help you. But scammers who take advantage of a vulnerable state of a person will not pass by.

It is undeniable that there are a lot of situations in which you need to restrain yourself. You have come across them many times. How to hold back the tears that came at the wrong time and control your emotions?


  1. Switching attention;

If tears are already welling up in your eyes and you need to hold them back, you can mentally ask yourself one of following questions: "Did I turn off the iron?", “Did the neighbors flood me?”. Psychologists call these questions "adrenaline". A sharp release of adrenaline into the blood will change your emotions, and you will not cry.

  1. Turning on the imagination;

Present your offender in a funny and ridiculous way.

Or try "substitution method" You are the boss, and the boss is you. How many kind words would you say to him? Here, the main thing is not to overdo it. Loud laughter in such a situation is also inappropriate.

Physical Ways to Stop Crying

  1. Change your body position. If you are sitting, stand up, you can take a few steps, move a chair, shift papers. Act according to the situation;
  2. Inhale slowly and deeply, straighten your shoulders, raise your head up;
  3. Interlock and disengage your fingers. You can pinch your hand;
  4. Ask for water, take a few deep, slow sips;
  5. Shift your gaze, look into the distance or at a picture hanging on the wall.

If you are going to cry for a physical reason: your eyes are watery from fatigue, dust or mote has got in, you are allergic to strong odors, then these measures will not help you. In this situation, the best way out is to apologize and try to eliminate the cause of the tears. Take your medicine, flush your eyes, go outside for fresh air.

So that a negative mood after an unpleasant conversation does not haunt you all day, take emergency measures:


  1. wash up immediately cold water;
  2. read "to yourself", if possible, then aloud a cheerful children's poem;
  3. go to the mirror, smile at yourself through force, then again. This can be done until the smile becomes natural;
  4. drink hot sweet tea.

If you cry very often for the slightest reason and it is very difficult for you to hold back tears, consult a doctor. Perhaps you have health problems. It can be stress, chronic fatigue, thyroid disease.

On the site "Beautiful and Successful" today we will talk about how to hold back tears and not cry at the most inopportune moment. Any situation can lead to tears, especially during the period of the female “hormonal storm”. But it is not always appropriate to let them go.

There are women who skillfully manipulate tears, getting indulgences at work or attention in their personal lives.

But what if you don't want anyone to see how upset you are?

Any psychologist will tell you that if you want to cry, then you don’t need to restrain yourself. - This is the body's reaction to stress, emotional discharge, which quickly relieves nervous tension.

Unfortunately, the place, time, and often the pride of the “victim” herself do not always allow this. Just remember how a sobbing sobbing lonely girl looks on the street. It makes passers-by pity and a desire to help. This is at best.

Many people prefer to just stare or even shy away from such a spectacle. Crying in the street is not accepted. It is believed that a person who does not know how to hold back tears from resentment is weak; that there must be a reasonable reason to shed "tears on people."

Holding back tears means staying in shape, with normal makeup, complexion and eye size, coming out of the situation as a winner.

Crying at work means giving rise to gossip. Some recruiters prefer to conduct interviews in a tough style to check whether the applicant is able to work in stressful situations or under pressure (we talked about the so-called).

So, information on how to learn to calmly hold back tears, in modern world It can be useful.

trick the brain

There are several ways to force the brain to focus on other sensations and “forget” about emotions:

  • Pinch yourself in a sensitive place, for example, inside thighs or arms, bite your lip. So the body will focus on physical sensations, and emotions will recede into the background.
  • Hold your breath and try to hold out as long as possible, the body will set aside minor matters in order to prepare for a possible emergency.

How to hold back tears when talking - ambulance

In a situation where you have been unfairly offended, and a lump rises to the throat, the site recommends using several techniques to restrain sobs:

  1. Inhale slowly, fully focusing on the process of inhalation and exit.
  2. Switch your attention to something else, there must be many small details. For example, remember the multiplication table or mentally recite favorite poem, remember the phone number of a colleague or count the leaves on a flower branch.
  3. Drink water - slowly, in small sips, concentrating on the process.
  4. Your task is to reduce the intensity of stress at the moment when tears come to the throat. You can effectively relieve tension with a few sharp movements. Walk around the room, open the window, move the chair.
  5. If possible, try to immediately leave the room where the conflict occurred. During stress, any word of sympathy or pity from a “third” side is not a way to hold back tears from a sudden offense, but a password that opens “heavenly abysses”.
  6. Go to the ladies' room and soak your whiskey, forehead, arms to the elbows, neck with cold water. This will help fight stress.
  7. Keep your eyes open as wide as possible and try not to blink.
  8. Try to look distantly past people's faces, preferably into the distance.
  9. Raise your eyebrows high and hold until the emotions subside.
  10. Raise your eyes up without raising your head.
  11. Relax the jaw muscles, open and close your mouth wide several times.

How to learn to hold back tears

If the cause of the tears is the person who offended you, for example, an evil boss, then everything must be done so that your resentment towards him is firmly replaced by another, no less strong emotion, preferably the opposite.

Imagine how his wife saws him for the Christmas tree that was not taken out in May, how he was teased at school, or how he is afraid of spiders. Resentment will immediately decrease, and you will become more fun.

Since it is difficult to hold back tears during an emotional conversation, it is better to do “work on the mistakes” when emotions subside. Think about whether this situation will excite you in six months or a year? Not? So there was no point in crying about her.

“Turn on” this question in your head every time you begin to choke sobs. Remember which word or expression caused you negative emotions and emotions? Why did you react like that? Perhaps you didn't like the raised tone? What would your more stress-resistant friend or girlfriend in the sedative commercial do in this situation?

If you get upset and cry too often, then most likely you are not getting enough sleep. Inadequate sleep is a 100% guarantee that at the decisive moment you will not be able to hold back your tears and burst into tears.

It will not be superfluous to also slightly strengthen the nervous system, for example, drink a course of vitamins or supplements with Omega-3 acids.

If you, literally from every little thing, then you should probably consult a specialist about the functioning of the thyroid gland. Crying is a way of self-regulation of the body, which will save your spine and pancreas. Therefore, having mastered the technique of how to hold back tears, do not forget to cry well when you are alone so that restrained emotions do not harm you.

All people are created different - and each of us reacts to the surrounding circumstances in his own way. There are those who will not be pierced by any touching scene, from whom not a single beggar or sick person will evoke sympathy. For those who are more sensitive, even some sad melody can bring tears. Similarly, the perception of stressful situations also differs. How to learn to hold back tears so as not to give others a reason for pity or gossip? Let's consider several ways.

First, it is necessary to switch attention as soon as possible

You need to at least mentally get out of stressful situation that causes tension and tears. Various methods are suitable for this: you can recall a forgotten poem, formulas that you once went through in higher educational institution, phrases or dialogues from foreign language if you have studied it. All this will help the brain to switch, and therefore, the flow of tears will become nervous system irrelevant.

Change attitude towards the offender

If a certain person served as the cause of the tears, then stop scrolling through your head thoughts about what a scoundrel he is, and how vilely he acted towards you. In a word, give up self-pity. remember him weak spots, imagine this person in a comic costume, or without clothes at all. This approach will help you feel more confident, get rid of the position of the victim, and therefore not give yourself offense.

On the other hand, if the cause of tears is a certain person who wants to humiliate or offend, it is equally necessary to distance yourself from him as far as possible. Remember: whatever your behavior, none of its forms will ever satisfy the offender. After all, his goal is to humiliate another person, and therefore to assert himself at the expense of others. Therefore, the only solution to the problem in this case is to create a distance.

Pay attention to yourself

In a stressful situation, it is useful to pay attention to your body, since holding back tears in a state of stress is likely to be almost impossible. To do this, you first need to adjust your breathing. It should be even and calm. To calm down, it is necessary that the breath is not superficial - it is necessary to breathe with the “belly”. Secondly, it's good to go out into the fresh air, or just go to the ladies' room to wash with cool water.

Focus on objects, not people

If you feel that a stream of tears captures you, it is better not to look at the people around you. Since in this situation everyone can have different reaction to tears. But even if that reaction is a desire to console, even that can cause even more tears. Therefore, try not to look at the faces of people, but just somewhere far away, or at the surrounding objects until such time as your condition comes into balance.

Monitor the overall level of psychological stress

Also, in order to hold back tears at the right time, you need to pay attention general level stress beforehand. You can control yourself for a long time, but then, at the most inopportune moment, emotions will still make themselves felt. If the stress level approaches a critical point, it is necessary to take preventive measures in advance: go to the pool, take a day off, do yoga or meditation.

To find out physiological causes increased emotional sensitivity. Sometimes excessive sentimentality can be the result of hormonal failure, problems in the thyroid gland, neurosis-like conditions. Therefore, in this case, it is necessary to consult a doctor and find out what is the root of the problem.

Use these recommendations in situations where you need to "keep face". In other cases, it is better to give free rein to your emotions. Since learning not to cry at all means only to become a person completely devoid of emotions and feelings. And this is hardly possible and necessary.