Don't be scared we are talking just about an emotional anchor, a kind of psychological reception. This method is clearly demonstrated in the film "Sex and the City". The heroine used this technique, touching her beloved's hand a little above the elbow. And she got everything she wanted. Even weddings. In the film, of course, everything is a little exaggerated, but touch is one of the elements of NLP. So, let's figure out what an emotional anchor is.

Psychologists believe that an emotional anchor is a stimulus that causes a certain state. Both emotional and physical. The stimulus can be a sensation, sound, taste, smell, image. For example, wearing your favorite perfume that you save for special occasions, you will feel the atmosphere inherent in these cases. There is a feeling of celebration, anticipation of something wonderful and joyful. Believe me, your man will experience the same feelings, inhaling this aroma.

Anchors can be either positive or negative. Therefore, it is always worth remembering this when performing any action. Unconsciously, you can anchor. For example, you will hug your husband from behind when he is unhappy or upset about something. The next time you perform a similar action, he may subconsciously return to this uncomfortable state. Even if at that moment he was in a great mood.

There are a lot of emotional anchors in our life and most of them are set unconsciously. Anything suitable can act as an anchor - music from your favorite movie, the movie itself, photographs of loved ones, the smell of pies from childhood. Even remembering your husband comforting you can help you deal with the situation.

No one escapes the involuntary process of anchoring. So why not take advantage of this to achieve your goals in a love relationship?

Emotional anchors can be divided into types:

Visual. Put on a nice dress, make sure your husband likes it too. And start complimenting him, hugging and kissing. Over time, when he sees this outfit on you, he will experience positive emotions. Well, and fulfill your desires.

Auditory. Arrange musical accompaniment romantic evening together. He will remember this music and will always remember you when he hears this melody.

Kinestatic. These include any touch and caress.

Olfactory. Use the same fragrance in bed. And every time it will evoke certain emotions in your husband.

Consider anchoring with a kinestatic anchor. However, it is worth noting that the speed and success in general will largely depend on the emotionality of your man. He is not a trained dog to follow your commands and demonstrate conditional and unconditioned reflexes. Be patient and try something else if that doesn't seem to appeal to your husband.

Step one. Choose a moment when your husband will be in a great mood.

Step two. As if by chance lightly touch it in a certain place. Choose accessible places - arms, neck, back. The touch must be imperceptible.

Step three. Repeat this touch only in a certain place and only when he is in a good mood.

Step four. Reap the benefits. As soon as he becomes not good enough, in your opinion, to treat you, touch him in a conditional place. Good mood will definitely return to your husband.

In psychology, as elsewhere, the main rule is to observe the measure. Emotional anchors can be of great benefit in a relationship and can prevent a lot of conflict. Of course, if you use them only for good, and not turn them into ways to manipulate a person. As mentioned earlier, a man is not an animal; he will not allow experiments on himself with impunity. If there are too many of your anchors, he will definitely notice this and understand that you want to control him. Few men like it. In addition, the frequent use of emotional anchors can lead to impaired emotional perception. Which also does not add value to your relationship.

How to Influence a Man with Anchors

This method is, according to the generally accepted opinion of specialists, the most powerful technique for introducing a person into a trance. Let's take a look at what it really is, how to do it correctly, and why this method, when done correctly, is one of the most effective and powerful methods of influence.

For most people, this thing doesn't work. Many people know that there is such a thing, it can be done this way and that way, they do it, they try to establish an anchor, but it does not work. Why? Because it's done wrong.

What is an anchor

An anchor is some kind of sign. It can be a touch, a movement, a sound, or even a smell that reinforces a person's reaction to some of your words.

Has it ever happened to you: you are walking down the street and you hear that a melody is playing somewhere in a music store. At its sounds, some kind of surge of emotions begins in your soul, your heart is pounding or aching, or you experience something similar.

This is connected with some of your memories, and you don’t remember exactly what, but you are very clearly aware of what feeling it is connected with. With a feeling of some kind of nostalgia, sadness, love, joy or pain, disappointment, and so on. Sometimes even smells cause a similar reaction.

Alexey Chernozem:

I am a very sensitive person to smells. It happens that I go somewhere, I smell some kind of smell, and it causes some feelings in me. I don’t even realize what exactly it was connected with, with what particular situation in my life, but I understand very clearly what feelings it causes inside me.

This thing is called an anchor. That is, some kind of toggle switch is installed in your subconscious, which, with a certain repetition of this sign, turns on and causes certain feelings.

It is on this effect that manipulation works. You set an anchor, and when you repeat it at a convenient time, it subconsciously reminds the person of your first conversation and evokes the same feelings in him. It's a little tricky, but by setting an anchor, you can evoke just about any feeling in a person. This is a very powerful and powerful way to influence and manipulate a person, so this technique is one of the most powerful.

How does this happen

You communicate with a person and want to evoke a certain feeling in him. You evoke this feeling, set an anchor, and then, after some time, when you want to evoke the same feeling, repeat, copy this anchor, this sign. And in a person it arises, but already associated with you.

How the anchor is set

You determine what you need to call from the interlocutor. For example, you are a woman and want to evoke a feeling of joy, love, and so on in the man you like. Let's take, say, the feeling of joy.

The next step is to evoke memories from the person's past life when he experienced these feelings. You simply ask him some leading questions when a person remembers those moments when his life was filled with joy.

It is clear that almost all of us experienced a feeling of joy, but there are situations when a person has never experienced something. For example, he never loved. Then you ask him other questions, model this situation. That is, you say: “This is how you think you would experience if you loved?”. And you formulate the question in such a way that a person will now experience it. Not sometime later, when he comes home.

You need to evoke this feeling of joy and love at the very moment when he communicates with you. And by formulating questions, in this way, you invoke this very feeling from him. At the peak of your feelings, you set the anchor.

That is, let's say you turn on some music, make some kind of gesture, a sign, light a romantic candle, it doesn't matter, all this can be an anchor. But one of the most powerful anchors and the most effective is the kinesthetic anchor, which is touch. It is one of the strongest anchors because it is very difficult to resist.
How to set a kinesthetic anchor

At the height of the experience and memory you evoke, touch the person. It is clear that this should be done in some socially acceptable places.

Experts say that a place just above the elbow works very well. Firstly, this place is socially acceptable, and secondly, after some time it is very easy to repeat. It does not matter how the person sits towards you, sideways, back and so on. You, in principle, very easy to reach out and get to his elbow.

Let's sum everything up:

Decide what feeling you want to evoke.
Call him in the form of some memories of a past life, when he experienced this feeling.
At the peak of the experience, you touch it in some way and thereby establish an anchor.

The next time you communicate with this person and touch in the same place where you set the anchor, he will subconsciously have the same feeling. Moreover, this feeling will already be associated with you, because he will not remember from what angle you considered it for the first time.

Remember, we said - sometimes you smell, but you don’t remember how life situation is it specifically related? You are clearly aware that this feeling causes either joy or sadness, and so on.

The same thing will happen in this situation. A person will not understand specifically what situation this is connected with, but he will very clearly feel inside himself what it is. If in the first conversation you managed to arouse a feeling of love in him, then when you repeat this manipulation in the next conversation, your interlocutor will experience the same feelings.

How to Get the Key to a Man's Heart with a Simple Conversation

In a conversation, in general in any conversation, try and try to make it so that it is built according to the scheme, 40x60. That is, 40% you speak, 60% your interlocutor should speak.

In order to pull out the key to his soul, you need to ask a person leading questions. Moreover, it is better to do this, bringing it to memories of childhood, youth, and so on.

Take away his attention at a time when emotions were very strong, when this person may have experienced some unfulfilled desires, and so on.

Regression to childhood is a very powerful tool for managing a person.

An example from Alexey Chernozem: I have a women's project where I advise women. So I always recommend making certain gifts for men. What do women or men do when they want to impress?

They go and buy some very expensive thing and bring it to their partner. That is, they make some attempt to buy location. In fact, this does not work and causes only surprise and gratitude, and not at all what you expected. She/he will probably wear this thing, but it will not evoke certain emotions in her/him.

Your task is to touch on exactly those emotions that are aimed at calling sympathy for you. So we always recommend, it may not be very good to do expensive gifts, but precisely those that will hit right in the heart.

Another example from Alexey Chernozem: I had a consultation with one woman who told me: “Here’s what to do, I give him such pleasant surprises, bought a gift, put it in the supermarket in the slot for bags, gave the key to the security guard, agreed with him, wrote a note at home, that go there, you will find something there. He went, under some porch found another sign, then the 3rd, 4th, 5th, and finally came to this store. The guard was supposed to solemnly hand over the key, the donee was supposed to look into this cell, find a surprise and just go nuts ... ". And what was her surprise when the person did not even go there. She came and all in tears and bewilderment, why did this happen?

We often do those things that we want, and not those that are interesting, profitable, bring joy to that person.. Therefore, gifts should be focused primarily on the one to whom they are presented. What am I doing all this for?

When you give a gift, you need to find out some unfulfilled desires of a person, something that comes from childhood.

What emotions a person experienced in childhood or adolescence, what he dreamed and fantasized about, what he passionately desired, but, perhaps, never received. Embodi these memories and unrealized ideas in your gift.

I advised the woman who was at my consultation to talk to her man. As a result of their conversation, it turned out that he really dreamed of learning to skate. His father promised to teach him, but was unable to do so due to his sudden death. The man never learned to do it. She bought him skates and it was like a bombshell.

When you do such things, a person thinks that you have looked into his soul, where he does not let anyone in, you will immediately receive the status of a "wizard" in his eyes, and, most likely, a sharp change in his attitude towards you. That's the power of a person's memories."

Decide what feelings you want to evoke in the person. By asking leading questions and bringing him back to memories, you can evoke both negative emotions, plunging into the moments of the past that caused pain to a person, and positive feelings, if you bring to the surface those moments from the past that were joyful and happy for a person.

Of course, childhood memories are much stronger and sharper in this respect. But you can work with any other moments of human history.

When a person returns to the uplifted feelings of those days, his emotional upsurge will be fixed with your image. Therefore, he will associate you with something kind and good, the echoes of which have risen from the depths of his memory.

Modern psychology can help any woman in establishing emotional contact with a man, and some of her methods even allow you to make men fall in love with you and make them learn how
Note: The material of this article at first may seem difficult to understand, but by re-reading it again, you will understand that there is nothing complicated in these methods.

NEUROLINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING
Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)- fast developing direction applied psychology, offering simple and available ways influence on the subconscious that any average person can master. More recently, NLP methods were classified and used only by special services, now these techniques are available to everyone. The use of NLP makes it possible to effectively interact with other people, influence them, understand and accept their vision of the world around them.

rapport
In our vain times, people have become emotionally closed, and communication has turned into a formal process, often leading either to the “use” (material, sexual) of one person by another, or to unsuccessful attempts to “use” each other. The consequence of this is the emergence of an atmosphere of mutual distrust and wariness, which adversely affected the personal lives of both women and men.
How to restore saturation to communication and depth to feelings? How to ensure mutual understanding and trust, so necessary for the development of relations? Both a short time create a favorable opinion about yourself and establish an emotional contact that allows you to get to know a man well and get close to him so that an ordinary acquaintance can grow into something more?
NLP gives the following answer to all these questions: it is necessary to consciously build a "bridge" that harmoniously and equally connects the subconscious of a man with your subconscious. It is the harmonious connection of the unconscious partners that gives those feelings of deep trust, understanding, intimacy, unity, mutual sympathy and responsiveness, without which there is no full-fledged communication.
In NLP, such a connection is called “rapport” (“Rapport”, translated from English, means “consent”, “harmonious relations”, “mutual understanding”. In terms of professional hypnosis, rapport is the connection between a hypnotist and a hypnotized person).
Rapport is a way to explain to the subconscious of another person that you share his thoughts, experience similar feelings, take into account his interests and understand his condition. At the same time, you remain a holistic person, observing your own interests.
Rapport is very important for making a good impression. It gives communication ease, openness and naturalness. Relationships in which there are elements of rapport are distinguished by mutual respect, mutual agreement and deep mutual affection.

Accession
in a good way establishing rapport is the process of "mirror reflection", which is the alignment of certain details of your behavior (body position, rhythm of movements, breathing, voice) with similar details of the interlocutor's behavior. In NLP, this action is called "attaching" or "adjusting." Moreover, "adjustment" is not a primitive imitation, but a sensitive, not conspicuous, reflection of the partner's behavior.
By adjusting your posture, body language, breathing, speech, and tone of voice, you can establish rapport with almost anyone. You can also join through feelings, showing interest, participation, tolerance, respect for the experience, knowledge and qualifications of the interlocutor, his character traits.
The explanation of the causes of the phenomenon of adjustment lies beyond the scope of this book, and we will not go into them (by adjusting to your interlocutor, you, in fact, enter into a kind of resonance with him). The adjustment "works" - and this is the main thing!

Reflection of body position. You sit down or become exactly the same as your interlocutor. Reflection of the posture can be direct (i.e. mirror) and cross (if your interlocutor has his right leg thrown over his left, then you do the same). You can also adjust to the distribution of body weight.
Reproducing the interlocutor's posture is a simple and obvious adjustment technique. And yet, despite the availability, this method requires some skill. Primitive and obvious "mirror reflection" can lead to the fact that the interlocutor pays attention to him and thinks that you are mimicking him, and this will lead to loss of contact.

Adjusting the rhythm of movements. You can blink with the same frequency as the interlocutor blinks, nod with the same frequency as he nods, shake your leg the same way as he does, step in step with him, etc. Often use indirect "reflection" - when in the rhythm of the movements of the interlocutor, some kind of own movement is made. For example, with the movement of the partner’s hand, you can adjust with weak movements of your hand, you can respond to the movement of his body with the movement of your head. Whenever your interlocutor strokes his forehead, you can lightly tap your finger or pen on the table, or in response to any movement of the interlocutor, indicate the beginning of a similar movement. It is necessary to make such an indirect adjustment correctly and almost imperceptibly.

Breath adjustment. In its direct form, it consists in "adjusting" the speed or frequency of one's breathing to the breathing of a partner. It is a very effective method of influence.
If the other person's breathing rate is very different from yours, you can:
When he breathes very often - for every two of his exhalations, make one of his own;
When he breathes too infrequently, try to fit two of his respiratory cycles into one of his, while every second exhalation of yours should coincide with the exhalation of your partner.
It happens that direct attachment to the interlocutor's breathing is fraught with difficulties caused by different type breathing of men and women (in many men it is abdominal, and in most women it is chest). In this case, you can use indirect attachment, for example, move your finger to the beat of your breath, shake your leg or head.
in an interesting way reflecting the movement of the partner's breathing is the adjustment of his speech to his exhalation. The fact is that a person always speaks on the exhale, and any phrase you utter at the moment when the interlocutor exhales will be perceived by him almost as an analogue of his own speech, and he will subconsciously accept what you said much more favorably. Many hypnotists use this technique with success.

Adjustment through speech. Adapting the tempo, rhythm and speed of your speech, the timbre and volume of your voice to the interlocutor's manner of speaking and ability to listen, is another method of establishing rapport. This is also facilitated by the repetition of words, expressions and professional terms that are most often used by him in a conversation (using the same words always strengthens trust and mutual understanding, since a man begins to think that you and he have the same views on the world around him).
Do not speak faster than the interlocutor can listen - this prevents the establishment of mutual understanding.

Other methods. Attachment methods that use the movement of the pupils of the eyes and take into account the type of the so-called representative system of the interlocutor are very effective (representational systems are the ways in which a person receives, stores and encodes information in his brain: pictures, sounds, sensations, smells and tastes). We will not consider such sophisticated ways of tuning because of their relative complexity. Those interested are encouraged to refer to the specialized literature on NLP.
Do not apply a large number ways to adjust, as this will require a lot of your attention, and it is necessary for the correct conduct of the conversation. Sincere (!) interest in your interlocutor and genuine (!) attention to him is the simplest and at the same time, the most reliable way to establish trust and mutual understanding!

Doing
Rapport implies an equal interaction of the subconscious partners, but since it was consciously caused by you and, therefore, can be controlled by you, then you are in a more strong position than a man. This advantage should be used.
First you need to make sure that the connection to the partner (by breathing, posture, movement or anything else) has happened. To do this, change the position in which you sit or stand. If the partner involuntarily adjusted to this change, then you should change the rhythm of your breathing or gestures and see how the man will react to these changes. If there is an obvious “mirroring” here too (that is, the partner began to automatically adjust to the rhythm of your breathing or your gestures), then you have joined securely and can “lead” the partner (leading is one of the basic terms of NLP).
The fact that you are able to “lead” your partner indicates interest in you, sympathy on his part, and a subconscious tendency to accept your actions and your point of view without any criticism or resistance. In other words - “mirroring” by a man of your postures, movements, speech features indicates his agreement with your behavior, your ideas, desires and assumptions. You have, in fact, hypnotized your partner and you can carry out your intentions regarding him!

Using "anchors"
Probably, every person has moments when, having heard a certain melody, he begins to experience positive emotions associated with memories of pleasant moments of life during which this melody sounded. So, for example, you can remember a date with a loved one that happened many years ago and was accompanied by memorable music. And now, having heard this music again, you remember everything that happened then, the forgotten feeling of love and romantic thoughts return to you - the associative mechanism, which in NLP is called the "anchor", has worked.
Anchor is one of the elements of the physical and emotional state, which is subsequently able to act as a stimulus that causes a similar state. Anchor can also be any external influence on a person who is in some special memorable physical and emotional state, which, if again exerted, can cause a repetition of this state.
Anchors can be formed naturally, or they can be set on purpose. They are:
auditory (beep, some special words or phrase of a loved one, catchy melody, etc.);
visual (photo, certain underwear, gesture, chocolate packaging, etc.);
kinesthetic (touch, stroking, etc.).
In addition, a certain taste or smell can act as an anchor.
Anchors are formed:
Through repetition. When something is experienced by the subject at a low emotional level, it takes a large number of repetitions to associate the anchor with that "something". Moreover, than less emotion experiences the subject, the greater the number of repetitions required for memorization. For example, a mother will have to spend a lot of time trying to Small child I realized that a red traffic light means danger.
Through emotional involvement. When the emotions are strong enough, it often only takes one time for the anchor to be set. (The child runs through a red light and almost gets hit by a car. The horror he experienced will instantly and permanently record in the subconscious what the mother has been trying to inspire for a long time.
That's exactly what "anchoring"(at the moment of the highest experience of emotions) is used in NLP. If you learn how to correctly capture and track the emotional states of people (in NLP this is called calibration), then it will not be difficult for you to apply this technique. By the way, using “anchoring”, anyone can “imprint” their own emotions. For example, while in a state of high spirits, you can certain in an unusual way squeeze your fingers and, subsequently, repeating exactly the same compression, get a similar state.
The "anchoring" technique requires a subtle and elegant approach, since the installation of the anchor must be completely invisible to the person in relation to whom it is carried out. In addition, at first it is quite difficult to determine the true emotional condition subject (this can be helped by the use of adjustment). Therefore, it will take some time to fully master the "anchoring". However, it makes sense to spend this time, since the use of this technique allows you to evoke the right emotions in the man you are interested in at the right time.
Here is a typical example of anchoring technique:
You arrive at work and a male co-worker you have some feelings for is in a great mood because of the victory of your favorite football team yesterday. You congratulate him and, at the moment of congratulations, gently squeeze his elbow (place a kinesthetic anchor). Subsequently, it will be enough for you to repeat the same contraction, and it is quite possible that the man will experience a similar feeling of joy, and since all this will happen in your presence, he will subconsciously associate his positive emotions with you.
Similarly, you can use this technique when anchoring your lover's sexual experiences. For example, at the moment of your partner's orgasm, put a kinesthetic anchor (you can, for example, squeeze his wrist), and if you suddenly notice that your loved one has begun to cool towards you, use this anchor. The result will be in your favor!
When you feel like sexual contact can be especially violent (your desire is great and your partner is extremely sexy today), put on some special, memorable underwear - let it become a visual anchor for your partner. Repeat this several times, and, subsequently, the very sight of this underwear will excite your partner very much.

TRANSFER METHOD
The human brain is able to hold sets of memories about those personalities that in the past have had one or another influence on us. Subsequently, the perception of any new person is consistent with these memories. It happens, for the most part, on an emotional level. For example, if in the presence of a new acquaintance you feel negative emotions similar to those that you previously experienced in the presence of other people unpleasant for you, then you subconsciously begin to consider this person as “bad”. You seem to be transferring your attitude, which you showed towards those personalities that are unpleasant for you, to a new object.

The transfer phenomenon
Transference (transfer) is a spontaneously arisen attitude towards a person, characterized by an unconscious transfer to him of feelings that once arose for other people.
Freud also noticed that in some cases the patient transfers to the doctor's personality feelings for people and events experienced earlier, or experienced in given time. Freud spoke about it this way: "... we notice that the patient, who should be looking for a way out of his painful conflicts, shows a special interest in the personality of the doctor ..." (Sigmund Freud, "Introduction to Psychoanalysis", lecture No. 27).
Freud found that his patients fell in love with him or hated him when they shared their thoughts and feelings, and he listened to them, deliberately questioning and not objecting. Such a transmission took place, even if these feelings had long since subsided. Freud called this transference, and considered this phenomenon as a phenomenon inherent in any human relationship and manifesting itself not only in a psychotherapeutic session, but also in everyday life. In fact, the doctor himself becomes a kind of "anchor" for the patient. It is enough to conduct several sessions, in which the patient is immersed in his love experiences, and now the very personality of the psychoanalyst is associated with these experiences in the patient, and he begins to experience certain feelings towards the doctor.
Using the phenomenon of transference, you can improve your relationship with a man or even make him fall in love with you. To do this, you just need to become a psychoanalyst of your friend and encourage him to talk about his passion, while trying to make the man feel all the positive emotions associated with his love. This will lead to the fact that he will transfer a significant part of his love experiences to you (Attention! Do not fall into the trap of negative transference, in which negative emotions associated with the man’s former (current) lover are transferred to you - talk only about good ones!) be afraid that your pride will suffer, because the effectiveness of metol pays for all the moral costs associated with it!
Some avoid this conversation because they think they will also have to talk about their former love affairs. This is a delusion - in this situation, it is much more important for a man to pour out his own soul. How to get into yours.

Love Transfer Technique Using Neuro Linguistic Programming
Create an environment conducive to seduction (soft lighting, appropriate music). Make sure that no one interferes with you and cannot interfere (be sure to turn off the phone and doorbell). Try not to make the intimate setting too artificial and obvious. Your clothes also should not hint to a man about possible intimacy.
Immerse a man in an atmosphere of trusting and friendly communication - create a rapport. To do this: show sincere interest and genuine attention to him, adjust to his posture, breathing, movements, etc.
Encourage the man to frank story about his past or current love. Carry on the conversation in such a way so that the state of love associated with the former (current) lover returns to him. Focus the man's attention exclusively on the positive aspects of this experience - speak only good things about his beloved and his feelings for her!
Try adjust to his state of being in love - listen to a man with warmth and empathy.
Start gently and rather "harmlessly" touching a man, gradually expanding the zone of touching and making them more intimate (but not too much!) At the same time, do not forget to sincerely admire him, linking this admiration with his beloved. If she does not share the feelings of a man, then you can say something like this: “You are so strong (beautiful, sexy, etc.). What pleasure would she experience with you ... ". Saying this, you must be as sincere as possible! Try to feel everything you say!
When you see that you are securely “attached” to your partner and can “lead” him, use the situation as you consider it possible to use it!
As soon as the man’s positive emotions associated with his former or current lover reach a maximum, put a kinesthetic anchor: hold his elbow, touch his wrist, or stroke his head, arm, leg in a certain way. Subsequently, when you find yourself in a suitable situation, use the anchor, and your partner will automatically enter a state of pleasant experiences, imprinted by the anchor, but this state will no longer be associated with his past or current love, but with you!
In the future, the very re-creation of the environment in which a man told you about his beloved (with the same music, which is actually an auditory anchor, the same lighting, etc.) will lead to a positive result for you.

REINFORCEMENT LEARNING
Reinforcement Learning (RL) – effective method shaping the behavior you want. His correct application leads to the fact that a man is happy to do what you are interested in, because he knows that you will somehow reward him for it.
The OP method is a modern version of the well-known “carrot and stick” method, which, by the way, is used by most people completely wrong. Many "educators" use only the "whip", completely forgetting about timely encouragement, although the use of "carrot" as the predominant tool of influence is more reasonable and much more effective than the use of the "whip". This is largely due to the fact that the reward immediately forms the desired behavior, and the “whip” does not even hint at how to behave. In addition, almost all educators act as a “carrot” and “stick” out of time, rewarding or punishing only after something has been done. The correct punishment would be at the very beginning of the action, which must be stopped, and the immediate encouragement of the desired actions.

Reinforcement. Reinforcement is a signal that tells the student that he is on the right track, or that he is making a mistake. (This signal can be perceived by the "student", and can only be perceived by his subconscious). Experts distinguish between positive reinforcement (PP) and negative reinforcement (NP).
PP is something pleasant (smile, affection, sincere praise, tasty food etc.) added to the situation immediately after the learner began to do or did what you need. PP activates the pleasure center of the brain, in which information is instantly recorded about why the subject receives this pleasure.
OP (not to be confused with punishment) is what the student would like to avoid (your grief, disapproving facial expression, irony, inattention). It shows that undesirable behavior needs to be stopped right now in this moment time. Experiments have shown that a weak OP works much better than a strong one. A very effective OP is to deprive the subject of something pleasant (for example, a child is deprived of sweets). Do not deprive a man of sex - this will no longer be a negative reinforcement, but a punishment that can boomerang back to you.

Variable (variable) reinforcement. If a dolphin is rewarded with a fish for every jump he makes, he will become lazy and will not jump high. To prevent this from happening, trainers use variable reinforcement (VP), which consists in the fact that not all jumps are encouraged, but only the best ones, and even then, not all.
In the relationship between a man and a woman, the EP "works" very well. For example, the main secret of the attractiveness of any "bitch" is her intuitive ability to variably reinforce the actions of men. A smart representative of this category of women first lures the “dolphin into the pool” with a large portion of “fish” (that is, it binds to itself with special sexuality, affection, attention, “warmth”, etc.), and then very skillfully dispenses “feeding”, seeking from the "dolphin" (i.e. from the man) what she needs, in fact, engaging in emotional and (or) material "gutting".
To control the behavior of a man, it is not at all necessary to demonstrate bitchiness (a bad “darling” always comes from her), you just need to master the technique of properly supplying reinforcements. She is very simple. First, you show some warmth towards a man, expecting signs, attention from him and a little encouragement for them, then the encouragement becomes more significant (depending on his behavior), then the usual encouragement becomes variable (obviously encouragement-indifference). (Female coquetry is actually a type of variable reinforcement.)
It should be noted that in a large number of happy couples there is variable reinforcement of the relationship between the spouses that maintains this relationship
in constant tone.
Unfortunately, the volume of this manual does not allow us to present the reinforcement learning methodology in a sufficiently complete form. For more detailed study, you should refer to the excellent book Karen Pryor "Don't Grow at the Dog").

emotional or psychological anchor – effective way influence your mood when needed. It is enough just to touch a certain part of your body, as the right mood will quickly take possession of you. You can "anchor" yourself to creativity, to feeling happy, to femininity, to decisiveness - to any positive emotion and condition.

Emotional anchors for each of us are usually in abundance. And we often do not suspect that this is precisely their “handiwork”, when some kind of melody, smell, form causes a whole cascade of sensations, and not always pleasant ones. Most of the "anchors" we acquired in childhood and adolescence. And all our lives they "tie" us to certain emotions. As soon as we see or feel such an emotional anchor, we begin to experience the same emotions as in the situation when it was placed. For example, the smell of pies immediately takes us to the atmosphere of comfort and trust that reigned in our grandmother's house. Such a binding can be any sensations that we receive through all the senses: smell, touch, sight, hearing.

Not all anchors are pleasant. negative emotions also easily "anchor" in our body and mind. Sometimes something instantly changes our mood for the worse, and we don’t even suspect that some kind of trigger that we didn’t even notice at the time just worked. And now, as soon as we see a certain object, hear a phrase or smell, we begin to experience emotions similar to those that we had at a not very pleasant moment or period of our life.

Of your own accord

The authors of the method of neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) decided to use this feature of the human psyche for peaceful purposes. Since the emotional anchor is so easy to form spontaneously, why not do it on your own?

And tactile sensations were offered as the most reliable fastening for psychological fastening. It is simpler and clearer when compared with other channels of sensory perception - vision, hearing, smell.

Starting point

  • The important point is to choose exactly where in the body to anchor. It should be a place that would be appropriate to touch in public.
  • That is, it is perhaps not very convenient to choose an armpit with such a point. Pulling your hair on the top of your head is also not the best option, it may look strange. But touching the tip of the nose or earlobe is appropriate almost always and everywhere.
  • However, let it be a place that other people do not often touch. If you are a massage therapist, then the anchors on your palms will be activated constantly when working with a patient.
  • However, it is possible that an anchor on the index finger, for example, which “attaches” to the feeling of joy from performing a massage, on the contrary, will help to get more pleasure from work and become more successful in it. In general, it is worth considering everything in advance, so that later it will be comfortable.

Full program

When the "mount" for the anchor is selected, we determine which emotion or skill it will hold and activate. Let it be joy - for example.

Now we remember when we experienced joy in our lives most vividly and again mentally return to this moment. We experience it in every detail. We feel the same as then. This is simply necessary, otherwise the anchor will not work. In creating psychological anchors, it is emotions that play leading role. Let the great joy experienced once again wash over you, fill every corner of your body, every cell of it.

And finally, when you are at the peak of joy - click on the selected place. That's it - the process is completed, the anchor is created.

Now, as soon as you want to feel joyful again, you just need to click on this place - and pleasant emotions will be with you. After some time, you can test whether the anchor is well fixed. Press - and wait for the appearance of the desired emotions. If they are not there or they are too weak, we do the process of creating the binding again. And then when we are in stressful situation, for example, before an important meeting, we arrange a control check. Everything worked out? Anchor works!

Carefully…

You can anchor not only on yourself, but also on another person. If, for example, your loved one is currently happy and relaxed, you can fix this state of his by touching some place. And then, when you touch him, he will instantly calm down even during a quarrel. Moreover, he will associate pleasant sensations with your touch, that is, with you. This is a manipulative technique, and everyone decides for himself whether it is worth using it.

good mood method

As for your own anchors, the advantage of this psychological tool is obvious. It helps to cope with apathy, with bad mood, sadly, inspire. Emotional attachments can make us bolder and more determined at the right time.

This is an excellent means of switching your consciousness to a positive attitude, to joyful and kind thoughts. After all, it has long been proven that the way we live directly depends on what our thoughts are. But sometimes breaking out of the circle of unpleasant thoughts can be difficult. And the psychological anchor helps to do it quickly.

In essence, the emotional anchor is our quick access to the internal resources of our subconscious. It helps us to cope with life's difficulties and become stronger.

Our psyche is so arranged, dear friends, that it is able to fix certain moments of our life in our subconscious, connecting them with certain sensations and internal feelings caused by external stimuli. Reproduction then of a situation associated with some kind of memory will cause in us a corresponding reaction and an internal experience of a person, which is called a resource. That is, we call a resource a feeling of fear or, conversely, calmness, a feeling of love and a feeling of trust, a feeling of anxiety, a feeling of concentration, increased attention, and so on. Anchor is just the same stimulus from outside world, which causes you a certain feeling, for example, it may be a melody familiar from childhood, having heard which you return to that moment of your childhood when you first heard it, and experience the same feelings as then. Also, any visual image, kinesthetic influence, that is, any touch, can be an anchor, by the way, a kinesthetic anchor is considered the most effective. Different smells also evoke different memories and feelings in us associated with those smells.

In general, an anchor is not a signal, but a resource in the form of our inner experiences - it is a reaction to this signal. Now think about how you can manage your internal state through these anchors, as well as the internal state of other people. The anchor of speech influence can be very effective, because, as we all know, the word has great power, especially if this power is recognized and tamed. There are words that evoke positive feelings in us, there are also those that evoke negative ones, so you can use only the words we need in your life, pronouncing them yourself and, if possible, demanding the same from other people, for example, members of your family. You hear, for example, the word problem is an anchor that makes you feel anxious, unless of course you don’t like problems, then exclude this word from your vocabulary or set this anchor in such a way that it makes you feel concentrated and energized for solutions to this problem. You can do this in the following way: remember a situation from life when you successfully solved a problem, and then admired the result of your work with self-esteem, this is the feeling of a winner who solved the task assigned to him.

Remembering this situation, imagining it as realistically as possible, literally returning to this time, put an anchor in the form of the word problem at the peak of this experience, and it is also desirable to put a kinesthetic anchor, that is, fix this moment with a certain touch (you can scratch your hands or chin). You need to train anchoring in this way until the word problem gives you that very feeling of an omnipotent person who is able to cope with any problem and a sense of pride in himself in connection with this. Let's also say that chin scratching or any other touch on the body that you used to establish a kinesthetic anchor should also bring you back to similar inner experiences that you have no problem with. In this way, you can program yourself for any external stimuli, you can completely take control of your inner feelings through the installation of anchors.

I usually do not use the words "anchors" and "resources" in my practice - I give different definitions to various external stimuli, thereby sharpening the human psyche in a certain way, as if transforming their image. And, in fact, this is setting anchors for another person, which I will write about in my next article, since there are a lot of interesting points that should be focused on. But regarding setting anchors for yourself: I want to recommend you a simple, but very effective way - this is a method of suggestion, that is, setting anchors for frequent events in your life. Let's say you meet with your boss and it makes you very nervous, you feel discomfort from such meetings - reprogram yourself, make this time pleasant for yourself. To do this, select the state, that is, the resource that you need at the time of the meeting with your boss, remember the time when you were in this state and fix it by touch or visually, for example, imagine the face of the boss and his office. You can do the same by simply remembering it in a very comfortable environment for yourself, when you feel good, then fix this moment with any touch on yourself or spoken words.

What you are doing is associating an event with a feeling, and it is up to you to decide which event will make you feel certain. I recommend that you use a notebook in which you will record observations of yourself, with the aim of later identifying patterns in your behavior in certain situations. There are a lot of different anchors in our life, all of them are at the subconscious level, and even if we understand why we have certain feelings, we cannot always control them. Therefore, it is better to start a diary and write down in it each time your inner feelings and what caused them. If you have a feeling of anxiety or fear, immediately write down everything that happened to you if you do not know what exactly caused this feeling. If some person forced you to make a concession to him, pay attention to how he behaved with you, what he said, how he said, whether he touched you, in general, everything, write it down in your diary, along with your feelings that you have arose from communication with this person.

Good sociologists know that many people have, so to speak, common anchors for all, which are set en masse. That is, certain news can cause a certain reaction in the majority, because it will be associated with a specific experience. So that your reaction is not controlled in this way, you should keep a diary, writing down in it all your experiences for the day, as well as the events preceding them, since you can not always notice this kind of manipulation, but it happens every day. To set the right anchors, that is, the anchors you need, you can resort to your own imagination, as well as to the experience of other people, even fictional ones. Suppose you have not experienced a feeling of victory in your life, or simply do not remember it, but at the same time you have seen how the winners feel, how proud they are of themselves, how they enjoy life. Imagine their feeling, translate your admiration for them into admiration for yourself and fix this feeling, this resource you need with the help of an anchor, kinesthetic as the most effective or any other.

Use words effectively such as: “I am a winner”, “I am the best”, “I am calm”, “I will achieve my goal” and so on. There are many such ways of psychological pumping, they work great if, say, say these words constantly when you have a feeling of victory, and especially when you win. And when something happens in your life with which you will have to fight, by saying these words, you will turn to the very resources that you need at the moment, it can be courage, determination, self-confidence and the like. I would even recommend that you use some of your own ritual, for example, no matter what, every day, perform some physical exercise, with the idea that if you do this, then today you will be fine, you will achieve everything and solve all the tasks set for yourself.

When it becomes a habit, I mean exercise, then it will become a habit to achieve your goal, for example, doing ten or fifty push-ups every morning, depending on your capabilities, you turn to a resource that makes you feel confident in yourself. After all, you were not too lazy, you found the strength in yourself to do this physical exercise again, which means that you have enough strength for the rest. As you can see, the topic of anchors can be considered very deeply, but the meaning comes down to working on your subconscious and bringing your feelings to a conscious level. It is the anchors that force us to experience certain inner experiences that we are not always aware of and therefore do not control. But if you approach this issue in more detail, then you can set yourself up in such a way that your internal state was just the way you want it.

Keep a diary, do not be too lazy to do this, believe me, the work you have done to analyze your own behavior will not be in vain. Many of my clients have radically changed their lives thanks to this work, because every time we analyzed the entries in their diary together with them, we found answers to all questions and came to an understanding of previously incomprehensible things. Our behavior is not unreasonable, and our feelings are not as complex in origin as we think. Control yourself dear friends, otherwise others will control you, set the right anchors for yourself.