Mikhail Zoshchenko

Funny stories for children (collection)

Stories about Minka's childhood

Teacher of history

The history teacher calls me in a different way than usual. He pronounces my last name in an unpleasant tone. He deliberately squeaks and squeals, pronouncing my last name. And then all the students also begin to squeak and squeal, mimicking the teacher.

I hate being called like that. But I don't know what to do to prevent this from happening.

I stand at the desk and answer the lesson. I answer pretty well. But in the lesson there is the word "banquet".

- What is a banquet? the teacher asks me.

I know perfectly well what a banquet is. This is lunch, food, a solemn meeting at the table, in a restaurant. But I do not know whether such an explanation can be given in relation to great historical people. Isn't this too shallow an explanation in terms of historical events?

– Ah? the teacher asks, screeching. And in this "ah" I hear mockery and disdain for me.

And, hearing this "a", the students also begin to squeal.

The history teacher waves at me. And gives me a deuce. At the end of the lesson, I run after the teacher. I catch up with him on the stairs. I'm so excited that I can't utter a word. I have a fever.

Seeing me like this, the teacher says:

I'll ask you more at the end of the quarter. Let's get three.

“That's not what I'm talking about,” I say. - If you call me like that again, then I ... I ...

- What? What's happened? the teacher says.

“I’ll spit on you,” I mutter.

- What you said? the teacher shouts ominously. And, grabbing my hand, he pulls me upstairs to the director's room. But suddenly he lets me go. He says: - Go to class.

I go to class and wait for the director to come and kick me out of the gymnasium. But the director does not come.

A few days later the history teacher calls me to the blackboard.

He softly pronounces my last name. And when the students begin to squeal out of habit, the teacher hits the table with his fist and shouts to them:

– Shut up!

There is complete silence in the classroom. I mutter the task, but think of something else. I think of this teacher who didn't complain to the principal and called me in a different way than before. I look at him and tears form in my eyes.

The teacher says:

- Do not worry. At least you know the three.

He thought that I had tears in my eyes because I did not know the lesson well.

With my sister Lelya, I walk across the field and pick flowers.

I collect yellow flowers.

Lelya collects blue ones.

Behind us is the younger sister Yulia. She picks white flowers.

We deliberately collect this so that it is more interesting to collect.

Suddenly Lelya says:

- Gentlemen, look what a cloud.

We are looking at the sky. Silently a terrible cloud is approaching. She's so black that everything gets dark around her. She crawls like a monster, enveloping the whole sky.

Lelya says:

- Hurry home. Now there will be a terrible thunderstorm.

We run home. But we run towards the cloud. Right into the jaws of this monster.

The wind blows up suddenly. It spins everything around us.

The dust is rising. Flying dry grass. And the bushes and trees bend.

What is the spirit, we run home.

Now the rain is falling in large drops on our heads.

Terrible lightning and even more terrible thunder shake us. I fall to the ground and, jumping up, run again. I run like a tiger is chasing me.

That's close to home.

I look back. Lyolya drags Yulya by the hand. Julia is crying.

Another hundred steps - and I'm on the porch.

On the porch, Lyolya scolds me why I lost my yellow bouquet. But I didn't lose it, I abandoned it.

I say:

- Since such a thunderstorm, why do we need bouquets?

We hug each other and sit on the bed.

Terrible thunder shakes our dacha.

The rain drummed on the windows and roof.

You can't see anything from the rain.

By Grandma

We are visiting grandma. We sit at the table. Lunch is served.

Our grandmother sits next to grandfather. Grandfather is fat, overweight. He looks like a lion. Grandma looks like a lioness.

The lion and the lioness are sitting at the table.

I keep looking at my grandmother. This is my mother's mother. She has gray hair. And dark, amazing Beautiful face. Mom said that in her youth she was an extraordinary beauty.

They bring a bowl of soup.

It is not interesting. I probably won't eat this.

But they bring pies. It's still nothing.

Grandpa pours the soup himself.

As I serve my plate, I say to my grandfather:

- Just one drop for me.

Grandpa holds a pouring spoon over my plate. He drips one drop of soup into my plate.

I am embarrassed looking at this drop.

This year, guys, I turned forty years old. So it turns out that I saw forty times Christmas tree. It's a lot!

Well, for the first three years of his life, he probably did not understand what a Christmas tree was. Manerno, my mother carried me on the handles. And probably, with my black little eyes, I looked at the painted tree without interest.

And when I, children, hit five years old, I already perfectly understood what a Christmas tree is.

And I was looking forward to this happy holiday. And even in the crack of the door I peeped how my mother decorates the Christmas tree.

And my sister Lelya was seven years old at that time. And she was an exceptionally lively girl.

She once told me:

When I was little, I really liked ice cream.

Of course, I still love him. But then it was something special - I loved ice cream so much.

And when, for example, an ice cream man was driving down the street with his cart, I immediately felt dizzy: before that I wanted to eat what the ice cream man was selling.

And my sister Lelya also exclusively loved ice cream.

I had a grandmother. And she loved me very dearly.

She came to visit us every month and gave us toys. And in addition, she brought with her a whole basket of cakes.

Of all the cakes, she let me choose the one I liked.

And my older sister Lelya was not very fond of my grandmother. And didn't let her choose the cakes. She herself gave her what she had. And because of this, my little sister Lelya whimpered every time and was more angry with me than with my grandmother.

One fine summer day, my grandmother came to our country house.

She arrived at the cottage and is walking through the garden. She holds a basket of cakes in one hand and a purse in the other.

I studied for a very long time. Then there were high schools. And the teachers then put marks in the diary for each lesson asked. They put some score - from five to one inclusive.

And I was very small when I entered the gymnasium, the preparatory class. I was only seven years old.

And I still didn’t know anything about what happens in gymnasiums. And for the first three months, I literally walked in a fog.

And then one day the teacher told us to memorize a poem:

The moon is merrily shining over the village,

White snow sparkling blue...

My parents loved me very dearly when I was little. And they gave me many gifts.

But when I got sick with something, my parents literally then showered me with gifts.

And for some reason, I often fell ill. Mainly mumps or tonsillitis.

And my sister Lelya almost never fell ill. And she was jealous that I got sick so often.

She said:

Just wait, Minka, I’ll also fall ill somehow, so our parents will probably start buying everything for me too.

But, as luck would have it, Lelya did not get sick. And only once, putting a chair by the fireplace, she fell and broke her forehead. She groaned and moaned, but instead of the expected gifts, she received a few slaps from our mother, because she put a chair to the fireplace and wanted to get her mother's watch, and this was forbidden.

One day, Lelya and I took a candy box and put a frog and a spider in it.

Then we wrapped this box in clean paper, tied it with a chic blue ribbon, and put this package on the panel opposite our garden. As if someone was walking and lost their purchase.

Putting this package near the cabinet, Lelya and I hid in the bushes of our garden and, choking with laughter, began to wait for what would happen.

And here comes the passer-by.

When he sees our package, he, of course, stops, rejoices and even rubs his hands with pleasure. Still: he found a box of chocolates - this is not so often the case in this world.

With bated breath, Lelya and I are watching what will happen next.

The passer-by bent down, took the package, quickly untied it, and, seeing the beautiful box, was even more delighted.

When I was six years old, I didn't know that the Earth was spherical.

But Styopka, the master's son, with whose parents we lived in the dacha, explained to me what land is. He said:

The earth is a circle. And if everything goes straight, you can go around the whole Earth and still come to the very place where you came from.

When I was little, I really liked to have dinner with adults. And my sister Lelya also loved such dinners no less than I did.

First, a variety of food was placed on the table. And this aspect of the matter particularly fascinated me and Lelya.

Secondly, adults always told Interesting Facts from your life. And this amused Lelya and me.

Of course, the first time we were quiet at the table. But then they got bolder. Lelya began to interfere in conversations. Chattered endlessly. And I, too, sometimes interjected my comments.

Our remarks made the guests laugh. And mom and dad at first were even pleased that the guests see such our mind and such our development.

But then this is what happened at one dinner.

Papa's boss began to tell some incredible story about how he saved the fireman.

Peter was not so little boy. He was four years old. But his mother considered him a very tiny child. She fed him with a spoon, took him for a walk by the hand and in the morning she dressed him.

Once Petya woke up in his bed. And my mother began to dress him. So she dressed him and put him on his legs near the bed. But Petya suddenly fell. Mom thought he was naughty, and again put him on his feet. But he fell again. Mom was surprised and put him near the crib for the third time. But the child fell again.

Mom got scared and called dad on the phone at the service.

She told dad

Come home soon. Something happened to our boy - he can't stand on his legs.

When the war began, Kolya Sokolov could count to ten. Of course, it's not enough to count to ten, but there are children who can't even count to ten.

For example, I knew one little girl, Lyalya, who only counted to five. And what did she think? She said, "One, two, four, five." And missed three. Is this account! This is downright ridiculous.

No, it is unlikely that such a girl will be in the future. scientific worker or professor of mathematics. Most likely, she will be a housekeeper or a junior janitor with a broom. Since she is so incapable of numbers.

Works are divided into pages

Zoshchenko's stories

When in the distant years Mikhail Zoshchenko wrote his famous children's stories, then he didn’t think at all that everyone would laugh at cocky boys and girls. The writer wanted to help children become good people. Series " Zoshchenko's stories for children"corresponds school curriculum literary education for the lower grades of the school. It is primarily addressed to children who are between the ages of seven and eleven and includes Zoshchenko's stories variety of themes, trends and genres.

Here we have collected wonderful Zoshchenko's children's stories, read which is a great pleasure, because Mikhail Makhalovich was a true master of the word. The stories of M Zoshchenko are filled with kindness, the writer unusually vividly managed to display children's characters, the atmosphere of the most young years filled with naivety and purity.

Do not lie

I studied for a very long time. Then there were high schools. And the teachers then put marks in the diary for each lesson asked. They put some score - from five to one inclusive.
And I was very small when I entered the gymnasium, the preparatory class. I was only seven years old.
And I still didn’t know anything about what happens in gymnasiums. And for the first three months, I literally walked in a fog.
And then one day the teacher told us to memorize a poem:
The moon is merrily shining over the village,
White snow sparkles with a blue light ...
I didn't learn this poem. I didn't hear what the teacher said. I didn’t hear because the boys who were sitting behind me either slapped me on the back of the head with a book, or smeared ink on my ear, or pulled my hair, and when I jumped up in surprise, they put a pencil or insert under me. And for this reason, I sat in the classroom, frightened and even stunned, and listened all the time to what else the boys sitting behind me were up to.
And the next day, the teacher, as luck would have it, called me and ordered me to read the assigned poem by heart.
And not only did I not know him, but I did not even suspect that such poems existed in the world. But out of timidity, I did not dare to tell the teacher that I did not know these verses. And he stood at his desk, completely stunned, without uttering a word.
But then the boys began to suggest these verses to me. And because of this, I began to babble what they whispered to me.
And at that time I had a chronic runny nose, and I could not hear well with one ear, and therefore it was difficult to make out what they prompted me.
Even the first lines I somehow said. But when it came to the phrase: “The cross under the clouds burns like a candle,” I said: “Crack under the boots, like a candle hurts.”
There was laughter among the students. And the teacher laughed too. He said:
- Come on, give me your diary! I'll put one in there for you.
And I cried because it was my first unit and I didn't know what it was.
After the lessons, my sister Lelya came for me to go home together.
On the way, I took a diary out of my knapsack, unfolded it on the page where the unit was placed, and said to Lele:
- Lelya, look what it is? This was given to me by the teacher for the poem "The moon is merrily shining over the village."
Lelya looked up and laughed. She said:
- Minka, this is bad! It was your teacher who slapped you a unit in the Russian language. This is so bad that I doubt that dad will give you a photographic camera for your name day, which will be in two weeks.
I said:
- But what to do?
Lela said:
- One of our students took and sealed two pages in her diary, where she had one. Her dad licked his fingers, but he couldn’t peel it off and never saw what was there.
I said:
- Lelya, it's not good to deceive your parents!
Lelya laughed and went home. And in a sad mood I went into the city garden, sat down on a bench there and, having unfolded the diary, looked with horror at the unit.
I sat in the garden for a long time. Then he went home. But as he approached the house, he suddenly remembered that he had left his diary on a bench in the garden. I ran back. But my diary was no longer on the bench in the garden. At first I was frightened, and then I was glad that now I don’t have a diary with this terrible unit with me.
I came home and told my father that I had lost my diary. And Lelya laughed and winked at me when she heard these words of mine.
The next day, the teacher, having learned that I had lost the diary, gave me a new one.
I opened this new diary with the hope that this time there was nothing wrong with it, but there was again a unit against the Russian language, even bolder than before.
And then I felt such annoyance and was so angry that I threw this diary behind the bookcase, which was in our classroom.
Two days later, the teacher, having learned that I did not have this diary either, filled out a new one. And, in addition to the unit in the Russian language, he brought me a deuce there in behavior. And he told my father to look at my diary without fail.
When I met Lelya after school, she told me:
- It won't be a lie if we temporarily seal the page. And a week after your name day, when you get your camera, we'll peel it off and show dad what was in there.
I really wanted to get a photographic camera, and Lelya and I glued the corners of the ill-fated page of the diary.
In the evening my father said:
- Come on, show me your diary! Interesting to know if you picked up units?
Dad began to look at the diary, but he didn’t see anything bad there, because the page was sealed.
And when dad was looking at my diary, suddenly someone called on the stairs.
A woman came and said:
- The other day I was walking in the city garden and there I found a diary on a bench. I learned the address by the last name and brought it to you so that you could tell if your son had lost this diary.
Dad looked at the diary and, seeing a unit there, understood everything.
He didn't yell at me. He just said softly:
- People who lie and deceive are funny and comical, because sooner or later their lies will always be revealed. And there was no case in the world that any of the lies remained unknown.
I, red as a cancer, stood in front of my dad, and I was ashamed of his quiet words.
I said:
- Here's what: another of my, third, diary with a unit I threw at school behind a bookcase.
Instead of getting even angrier with me, dad smiled and beamed. He grabbed me in his arms and started kissing me.
He said:
- The fact that you confessed this made me extremely happy. You admitted that you could for a long time remain unknown. And it gives me hope that you won't lie anymore. And for this I will give you a camera.
When Lelya heard these words, she thought that dad had gone crazy in his mind and now he gives everyone gifts not for fives, but for ones.
And then Lelya went up to dad and said:
- Daddy, I also got a deuce in physics today, because I didn’t learn the lesson.
But Lely's expectations were not justified. Dad got angry with her, kicked her out of his room and told her to immediately sit down to books.
And in the evening, when we went to bed, the phone suddenly rang.
It was my teacher who came to my father. And said to him:
- Today we had a cleaning in the classroom, and behind the bookcase we found your son's diary. How do you like this little liar and deceiver who abandoned his diary so that you would not see him?
Papa said:
- I personally heard about this diary from my son. He confessed this to me himself. So there is no reason to think that my son is an incorrigible liar and deceiver.
The teacher said to dad:
- Oh, that's how. You already know about it. In that case, it's a misunderstanding. Sorry. Good night.
And I, lying in my bed, hearing these words, wept bitterly. I made a promise to myself to always tell the truth.
And I really do this all the time and now I do it.
Ah, it is sometimes very difficult, but my heart is cheerful and calm.

stupid story

Petya was not such a small boy. He was four years old. But his mother considered him a very tiny child. She fed him with a spoon, took him for a walk by the hand and in the morning she dressed him.
Once Petya woke up in his bed. And my mother began to dress him. So she dressed him and put him on his legs near the bed. But Petya suddenly fell. Mom thought he was naughty, and again put him on his feet. But he fell again. Mom was surprised and put him near the crib for the third time. But the child fell again.
Mom got scared and called dad on the phone at the service.
She told dad
- Come home soon. Something happened to our boy - he can't stand on his legs.
Here dad comes and says:
- Nonsense. Our boy walks and runs well, and it cannot be that he falls down with us.
And he instantly puts the boy on the carpet. The boy wants to go to his toys, but again, for the fourth time, he falls.
Papa says:
- We should call the doctor as soon as possible. Our boy must have fallen ill. He probably ate too much candy yesterday.
They called the doctor.
A doctor comes in with glasses and a tube. The Doctor says to Petya:
- What's the news! Why are you falling?
Petya says:
I don't know why, but I'm falling a little.
Doctor says to mother:
- Come on, undress this child, I'll examine him now.
Mom undressed Petya, and the doctor began to listen to him.
The doctor listened to him through the phone and said:
- The baby is perfectly healthy. And it's amazing why it falls for you. Come on, put it on again and put it on its feet.
Here the mother quickly dresses the boy and puts him on the floor.
And the doctor puts glasses on his nose to better see how the boy falls.
They just put the boy on his feet - and suddenly he fell again.
The doctor was surprised and said:
- Call the professor. Maybe the professor will guess why this child is falling.
Dad went to call the professor, and at that moment the little boy Kolya comes to visit Petya.
Kolya looked at Petya, laughed and said:
- And I know why Petya falls.
Doctor says:
- Look, what a learned little one was found - he knows better than me why children fall.
Kolya says:
- Look how Petya is dressed. He has one trouser leg dangling, and both legs are thrust into the other. That's why he falls.
Here everyone groaned and groaned.
Petya says:
It was my mother who dressed me.
Doctor says:
- No need to call the professor. Now we understand why the child falls.
Mom says:
- In the morning I was in a hurry to cook porridge for him, and now I was very worried, and that's why I put on his pants so wrong.
Kolya says:
- And I always dress myself, and I don’t have such stupid things with my legs. Adults are always up to something.
Petya says:
"Now I'm going to dress myself."
Everyone laughed at that. And the doctor laughed. He said goodbye to everyone, and also said goodbye to Kolya. And he went about his business. Dad went to work.
Mom went to the kitchen. And Kolya and Petya remained in the room. And they started playing with toys.
And the next day, Petya himself put on his pants, and no more stupid stories happened to him.

In the zoological garden

Mother is holding my hand. We are walking along the path.
Mother says:
Let's see the animals later. First there will be a competition for children.
We're going to the site. There are many children there.
Each child is given a bag. You need to get into this bag and tie it around your chest.
Here are the bags tied. And children in bags are put on a white line.
Someone is waving a flag and shouting "Run!"
Confused in bags, we run. Many children fall and roar. Some of them get up and run away crying.
I almost fall too. But then, contriving, I move quickly in this bag of mine.
I go to the table first. Music is playing. And everyone clap. And they give me a box of marmalade, a flag and a picture book. I walk up to my mother, clutching the gifts to my chest.
On the bench, my mother cleans me up. She combs my hair and wipes my soiled face with a handkerchief.
After that we go to see the monkeys.
I wonder if monkeys eat marmalade? You have to feed them.
I want to treat the monkeys with marmalade, but suddenly I see that there is no box in my hands ...
Mom says:
We must have left the box on the bench.
I run to the bench. But my box of marmalade is no longer there.
I cry so that the monkeys pay attention to me.
Mom says:
They must have stolen our box. Never mind, I'll buy you another one.
- I want this one! - I shout so loudly that the tiger shudders and the elephant raises its trunk

Thunderstorm

With my sister Lelya, I walk across the field and pick flowers.
I collect yellow flowers.
Lelya collects blue ones.
Behind us is the younger sister Yulia. She picks white flowers.
We deliberately collect this so that it is more interesting to collect.
Suddenly Lelya says:
- Gentlemen, look what a cloud.
We are looking at the sky. Silently a terrible cloud is approaching. She's so black that everything gets dark around her. She crawls like a monster, enveloping the whole sky.
Lelya says:
- Hurry home. Now there will be a terrible thunderstorm.
We run home. But we run towards the cloud. Right into the jaws of this monster.
The wind blows up suddenly. It spins everything around us.
The dust is rising. Flying dry grass. And the bushes and trees bend.
What is the spirit, we run home.
Now the rain is falling in large drops on our heads.
Terrible lightning and even more terrible thunder shake us. I fall to the ground and, jumping up, run again. I run like a tiger is chasing me.
That's close to home.
I look back. Lyolya drags Yulya by the hand. Julia is crying.
Another hundred steps - and I'm on the porch.
On the porch, Lyolya scolds me why I lost my yellow bouquet. But I didn't lose it, I abandoned it.
I say:
- Since such a thunderstorm, why do we need bouquets?
We hug each other and sit on the bed.
Terrible thunder shakes our dacha.
The rain drummed on the windows and roof.
You can't see anything from the rain.

Coward Vasya

Vasya's father was a blacksmith.
He worked at the forge. He made horseshoes, hammers and hatchets there.
And he went to the forge every day on his horse. He had, wow, a nice black horse. He harnessed her to the cart and rode. And in the evening he returned.
And his son, a six-year-old boy Vasya, was a fan of a little ride.
Father, for example, comes home, gets off the cart, and Vasyutka immediately climbs in there and rides all the way to the forest.
And his father, of course, did not allow him to do this.
And the horse also did not really allow. And when Vasyutka climbed into the cart, the horse looked askance at him. And she waved her tail, - they say, get off, boy, from my cart. But Vasya whipped the horse with a rod, and then it hurt a little, and she quietly ran.
One evening my father returned home. Vasya climbed into the cart, whipped the horse with a rod, and left the yard for a ride.
And he had today fighting mood He wanted to move farther.
And so he rides through the woods and whips his black skate so that he runs faster.
Suddenly, you know, someone will warm Vasya on the back!
Vasyutka jumped up in surprise. He thought that it was his father who caught up with him and whipped him with a rod - why did he leave without asking.
Vasya looked around. He sees that there is no one.
Then he whipped the horse again. But then, for the second time, someone again slapped him on the back!
Vasya looked around again. No, he looks, no one is there. What are the miracles in the sieve?
Vasya thinks:
“Oh, who is hitting me on the neck if there is no one around!”
And I must tell you that when Vasya was driving through the forest, a large branch from a tree got into the wheel. She gripped the wheel tightly. And as soon as the wheel turns around, the branch, of course, slaps Vasya on the back.
But Vasya does not see it. Because it's already dark. And besides, he was a little scared. And I didn't want to look around.
Here the branch hit Vasya for the third time and he was even more frightened.
He thinks:
“Oh, maybe the horse is beating me. Maybe she somehow snatched the rod with her muzzle and also whips me in turn.
Here he even moved away from the horse a little.
As soon as he moved away, a branch lashed Vasya not on his back, but on the back of his head.
Vasya threw the reins and screamed in fear.
And the horse, don't be a fool, turned back and how it starts off with all its might to the house.
And the wheel will spin even more. And the branch will start whipping Vasya even more often.
Here, you know, not only a small one, but also a big one can be frightened.
Here the horse is galloping. And Vasya lies in the cart and yells with all his might. And the branch hits him - either on the back, then on the legs, then on the back of the head.
Vasya screams:
- Oh, dad! Oh mom! The horse is beating me!
But then suddenly the horse drove up to the house and stopped in the yard.
And Vasyutka lies in the cart and is afraid to get off. Lies, you know, and does not want to eat. Here comes the father to unharness the horse. And then Vasyutka slid down from the cart. And then he suddenly saw a branch in the wheel that beat him.
Vasya unhooked a branch from the wheel and wanted to hit the horse with this branch. But the father said:
- Give up your stupid habit of hitting the horse. She is smarter than you and she understands well what she needs to do.
Then Vasya, scratching his back, went home and went to bed. And at night he had a dream, as if a horse came to him and said:
- Well, coward, ride?
In the morning Vasya woke up and went to the river to catch fish.

The work "Aristocrat" touches on the topic of misunderstanding between women and men in a playful way. The author describes the discrepancy between the true concept of aristocracy and the imaginary one and the difference in social inequality

Grandma's gift

The story is told from the perspective of the boy Minka and the author. The boy has a grandmother who loves him very much. His sister Lele is treated more coldly.

Trouble

In this humorous story, the main character really has a misfortune ... but such that "laughter and sin." And it all happens in the very end.

Poor Fedya

In Zoshchenko's story "Poor Fedya" we are talking about a nine-year-old pupil orphanage, who never played with the guys, but sat quietly and sadly on a bench.

Great Travelers

Zoshchenko's story Great Travelers is written about the adventure of children. Written in a light, humorous way, which allows children to quickly and with interest read such stories. It's about the boys

Meeting

In Zoshchenko's story, The Meeting is narrated in the first person. The main character tells an incident from his life. He loves people very much. Some groom and cherish dogs, and people are dearer to him, but he did not meet completely disinterested ones.

Galosh

In this story, Zoshchenko main character loses, in fact, a galosh. This tragic event happened in the tram, that is, in fact, a trifle, but unpleasant. And the hero turned to a special office where you can find lost things

stupid story

This story presents a really stupid story, but the reader will learn about its absurd reason in the finale. At first, she may seem scary and very serious.

blue book

The Blue Book was written at Gorky's request. The book talks about the usual household life ordinary people, it consists of short stories and is written in a simple and ordinary language filled with jargon.

Christmas tree

Before the holiday, she and her sister see a beautiful, luxurious Christmas tree. First, the children decided to eat one candy each, then another one each.

Gold words

Lelya and Minka, brother and sister, are very fond of having dinner with their parents' guests. On such evenings, different delicious food, and adults tell stories from their lives that children love to listen to.

Disease history

In this story by Mikhail Zoshchenko, written in the first person (with a bright manner of the narrator), the hero unexpectedly ends up in the hospital. Instead of comfort, treatment and even rest, he plunges headlong into the world of bureaucracy

Carousel

The main character of the work is a village boy who came to the city for the May Day holidays.

Witch

In the story of Zoshchenko, the Sorcerer tells about the life of peasant families in the villages. A comparison is made: against the background of the existence of electricity, steam, sewing machines, sorcerers and magicians continue to exist.

Nakhodka

The main characters of the book are Minka and Lelya. Once Lyolya and Minka decided to play pranks and put a frog with a spider in a box of sweets. Then they wrapped the box like a gift with a blue ribbon.

Do not lie

This story is one of the stories about the author's childhood. The main characters are the author himself - Minka and his sister Lelya. Little brother is still learning the world, and Lelya is playing pranks again.

monkey tongue

The most important thing

One boy, Andryusha Ryzhenky, was very cowardly. He was afraid of all animals, and most of all - the boys in the yard. The boy's mother was very worried that her son was a coward. She explained to Andryusha that cowardly people live badly, boringly and uninterestingly.

scientific monkey

The story of M.M. Zoshchenko "The Learned Monkey" tells about a clown who had scientist monkey. This monkey could count and show with its tail the number of those objects, animals, birds that it saw.

The story of how the suitcase was stolen

Not far from Zhmerinka, a suitcase was whistled from, or, as they say, "taken away" from one citizen.

It was, of course, the fast train.

And it was just one to wonder how they took this suitcase from him.

The main thing is that the victim was caught, as if on purpose, in the highest degree careful and prudent citizen.

They usually don't even steal anything from them. That is, not that he himself used others. No, he's honest. But he's just being careful.

For example, he did not let go of his suitcase all day. I think he even went to the restroom with him. Although it was not so easy for him, as they say.

And at night, he may have been lying on it with his ear. He, so to speak, for the sensitivity of hearing and so as not to be carried away during the process of sleep, lay down on his head. And somehow I slept on it - I don’t know.

And he did not even raise his head from this thing of his to be sure. And if he needed to roll over to the other side, then he somehow rotated with all this object.

No, he was extremely sensitive and cautious about this baggage of his.

And suddenly it was whistled from him. That's the number!

And even more so, he was warned before going to bed. Someone there said to him when he lay down:

“You,” he says, “be kind, drive more carefully here.

- And what? he asks.

“On all roads,” he says, “theft has almost stopped. But here, on this stretch, it still sometimes happens that they are naughty. And it even happens that sleepy people take off their boots, not to mention luggage, and so on.

Our citizen says:

“It doesn't concern me. When it comes to my suitcase, I tend to sleep quite lightly on it. And this race doesn't bother me.

And with these words, he lies down on his top shelf and puts his suitcase under his head with various, probably valuable household items.

So he lies down and falls asleep peacefully.

And suddenly at night someone comes up to him in the dark and quietly begins to pull off his boot from his foot.

And our passerby was in Russian boots. And at once such a boot, of course, cannot be removed, thanks to its long shaft. So the stranger just pulled this boot off his foot a little.

Our citizen restrained himself and thinks:

And at this time, the unknown person now takes him by the other leg and pulls again. But this time, he pulls with all his might.

Here is our citizen, how he will jump up, with a flourish, how he will gasp the thief on the shoulder! And that one - like siganet to the side! And our passerby - how he kicks from the shelf behind him! He wants, most importantly, to run, but he cannot, because his boots are half pulled off. The legs in the tops dangle like bells.

For now, yes. While the legs went up inside, he looks - the thief has already caught a trace. Only to hear that he, a swindler, slammed the door on the landing.

Screams rose. Ta-ra-ram. Everyone jumped up.

Our traveler says:

- Here interesting case. They almost took my boots off my sleepy bed.

And he himself suddenly looked askance at his shelf, where his suitcase should have been.

But, alas, he was no more. Well, of course, again screams and again ta-ra-ram.

One of the passengers says:

- Probably, they pulled your leg on purpose so that you, I'm sorry, freed the suitcase from your head. And then you lie down and lie down. That's why you're most likely worried.

The victim through the tears of suffering says:

- That's what I don't know.

And he himself runs to the transport department at the first station and makes a statement there. There they said:

“The cunning and cunning of these crooks defies description.

And, having learned what he had in his suitcase, they promised to inform him if something happened. They said:

- We'll eat. Although, of course, we can not vouch.

And they, of course, did it right that they did not vouch for it, since they never found the thief with the suitcase.