Instruction

To support a person close to you during an illness, first of all, you need to make it clear that he remains the same dear and necessary for you. And even if the disease has disrupted some of your plans for work, personal life, travel, explain that his condition will not become a burden or burden for you, and caring for him is an important part of your life.

Speak words of love and encouragement. Spend more time with a sick person, talk with him. Share the news and events that happened at your work or throughout the day. Ask for advice. Thus, you will emphasize that your attitude towards your loved one has not changed because of whether he is healthy or sick. You still appreciate and value his opinion.

Patients, even in a state of coma, are able to distinguish the voices of relatives, and may also experience certain feelings. Therefore, the kind words you uttered will only have a positive impact on loved one. Speak even if you think you can't be heard.

Think of an activity that would give pleasure to the person you are caring for during illness. You can just watch some TV program together, read a book, listen to music. If this is a child, do some crafts with him, draw a picture, assemble a mosaic. The main thing is your presence and participation. In a state of illness, many feel lonely, so a joint activity is just what can bring joy and encouragement to a person who is sick.

Try to entertain and distract the patient from his illness. Create a cozy atmosphere in the room where it is located. If this is a hospital, bring any household items, photographs, books there. You can bring your favorite from home indoor plant. If the patient is at home, give him a gift without waiting for a special occasion. Most oncologists, being depressed, tend to "give up." Therefore, by showing care of this kind, you set an example of faith that he, like you, has a tomorrow, and therefore a healthy future.

If the disease is not infectious, invite friends to visit. Prepare your favorite meal. Drinking tea with friends or work colleagues may improve your mood and give you strength to fight the disease.

Helpful advice

And most importantly, don't forget about yourself. Look for the positive in every situation, communicate with friends and family. Exercise, eat well. If you have a healthy mindset, an optimistic attitude, and a lot of patience, the sick person next to you will feel comfortable and secure.

Sometimes it can be difficult to find words to express support for a loved one. But it is very important that a loved one feels your faith in him, especially in a difficult situation. Sometimes only this faith helps to avoid many mistakes caused by the desire to prove something to others, and sometimes it helps to get back on your feet and start living with renewed vigor.

Instruction

Believe in the power of your loved one human and in his success. Not in words - it should be an inner conviction. Always consider your loved one human the best in the world. It inspires and inspires confidence. Emphasize, constantly remind about best qualities beloved human, his strengths, especially if a person for some reason feels insecure.

Get rid of the habit of criticizing and doubting. If you want to warn about some consequences or express your feelings, then express only your feelings and fears and only on your own behalf. Use "I-statements", say "I'm worried about the consequences" instead of "you always get yourself into something".

Think positively, wish sincerely success in all endeavors of your loved one. Express to him more often words of approval and support, your understanding and acceptance. If a person is deeply worried, listen more to him. It often happens that by speaking out, a person comes to a decision easier and faster, takes steps forward in overcoming painful experiences and doubts.

Create an atmosphere of goodwill and peace at home. A house is really a fortress that brings a sense of security to a person, gives strength and confidence. Filling it with positive, comfort, calmness and understanding, you will create a favorable background for the moral and psychological support of your loved one. human.

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In everyone's life human There are situations when the support of relatives and friends is needed. You can not always help with something, but there is an opportunity to provide moral support even in the most critical cases. If you want to support a friend or acquaintance word, and, as luck would have it, absolutely nothing comes to mind, read carefully. You may find information in the manual that is useful to you.

Instruction

In any situation, try to look for the positive. Sometimes a person is so upset or exhausted by constant experiences that he simply does not have the strength to search for the bright sides. Try to find something positive yourself and cheer up your friend. Turning a story into a joke may not always be appropriate, so try to cheer up more carefully, but here's to sad story a certain amount of optimism you can. Of course, there are situations in life in which there is absolutely no and cannot be anything good. You should not look for positive moments in the death of loved ones or a serious illness - you will only completely ruin a person’s mood and can turn him against yourself.

We all know how hard it is to be in a situation where you need to comfort someone, but right words is not located.

Fortunately, more often than not, people don't expect specific advice from us. It is important for them to feel that someone understands them, that they are not alone. So first, just describe how you feel. For example, with the help of such phrases: “I know that it’s very hard for you now”, “I’m sorry that it’s so hard for you.” So you will make it clear that you really see what a loved one is feeling now.

2. Confirm that you understand these feelings.

But be careful, do not draw all the attention to yourself, do not try to prove that you were even worse. Briefly mention that you have also been in a similar situation before, and ask more about the condition of the one you are comforting.

3. Help a loved one sort out the problem

Even if a person is looking for ways to resolve a difficult situation, first he just needs to speak out. This is especially true for women.

So wait to offer solutions to the problem and listen. This will help the person you are comforting to sort out their feelings. After all, sometimes it is easier to understand your own experiences by talking about them to others. Answering your questions, the interlocutor can find some solutions himself, understand that everything is not as bad as it seems, and simply feel relieved.

Here are some phrases and questions that can be used in this case:

  • Tell me what happened.
  • Say what's bothering you.
  • What led to this?
  • Help me understand how you feel.
  • What scares you the most?

At the same time, try to avoid questions with the word "why", they are too similar to condemnation and will only anger the interlocutor.

4. Do not minimize the suffering of the interlocutor and do not try to make him laugh

When we are faced with the tears of a loved one, we, quite naturally, want to cheer him up or convince him that his problems are not so terrible. But what seems trifling to ourselves can often upset others. So don't minimize the other person's suffering.

And if someone really worries about a trifle? Ask if there is any data that diverges from his view of the situation. Then offer your opinion and share an alternative way out. Here it is very important to clarify whether they want to hear your opinion, without this it may seem too aggressive.

5. Offer physical support if appropriate

Sometimes people do not want to talk at all, they just need to feel that there is a loved one nearby. In such cases, it is not always easy to decide how to behave.

Your actions should correspond to the usual behavior with this or that person. If you are not too close, it will be enough to put a hand on your shoulder or lightly hug. Also look at the behavior of the other person, perhaps he himself will make it clear what he needs.

Remember that you should not be too zealous when comforting: a partner may take this for flirting and be offended.

6. Suggest ways to solve the problem

If the person only needs your support and not specific advice, the above steps may be sufficient. By sharing your experiences, your interlocutor will feel relieved.

Ask if there is anything else you can do. If the conversation takes place in the evening, and most often it does, offer to go to bed. As you know, the morning is wiser than the evening.

If your advice is needed, ask first if the other person has any ideas. Decisions are made more readily when they come from someone who is in a contentious situation. If the person you are comforting has a vague idea of ​​what can be done in their position, help develop concrete steps. If he does not know what to do at all, offer your options.

If a person is sad not because of any particular event, but because he has, immediately proceed to a discussion of specific actions that can help. Or offer to do something like go for a walk together. Excessive thinking will not only not help get rid of depression, but, on the contrary, will aggravate it.

7. Promise to continue to support

At the end of the conversation, be sure to mention again that you understand how hard it is for a loved one now, and that you are ready to continue to support him in everything.

Bad things happen in everyone's life. Someone outwardly calmly survives death, but for someone, a reprimand at work or a failed exam at the institute becomes a real disaster. In moments of crisis, the participation of others is able to reassure and help to believe in oneself again. What words of encouragement Hard time you can speak? Is everyone around you worth empathizing with?

When can you pry into other people's business?

Remain indifferent to the problems of a loved one, close friend or a relative at least uncivilized. Even if what happened seems like a mere trifle to you, you need to give the “victim” the opportunity to speak out. Try to give some helpful advice to solve an existing problem or simply express your sympathy. Do you need your words of support in difficult times for a casual acquaintance or an ordinary friend? This controversial issue. Many people feel embarrassed when they learn about the death of the husband of "Masha from the neighboring department at work" and do not know how to respond correctly. Sticking with your formal condolences to a person who works in the same office building with you is not always decent. But if we are talking about a classmate at the institute with whom you regularly meet for coffee and chatting about trifles, it’s already impolite to ignore what happened. The most appropriate thing in this situation would be to briefly express your condolences or regrets and offer help.

What to say to a loved one?

Sometimes it seems to us that we know and understand our friends better than ourselves. But something happens, and it is not at all clear what kind of support a friend should have in difficult times. If a person is in the mood to talk, be sure to give him this opportunity. Try to retire somewhere where no one can overhear you. Don't bother with additional questions, but just listen and show interest with all your appearance. But not all people are used to sharing their problems. If your friend is from this category, and does not start a conversation first, it is better to let him calm down and not bother with questions. Obsessive advice should not be given, but it is permissible to tell how you would act in such a situation.

How to rehabilitate a friend?

Some problems can be solved. With others, it remains only to reconcile. In the first case, the task of a loved one is to help his friend calm down quickly and take action. In the second type of situation, the only way you can help is to try to distract your comrade. The most important thing is to choose the right strategy. If your friend has a loved one in an accident, he is unlikely to want to go to the club to have fun. But visiting the hospital together, walking together for a leisurely conversation is a completely different matter. Of course, the support of a girlfriend in difficult times implies real help. If possible, offer to live together for a while, take on some of the household chores and offer the injured party a good night's sleep and rest.

What do you do when your loved one is in trouble?

Supporting a loved one is extremely difficult. It is important to remember that your view of the problem may be radically different from the perception of the situation by your partner. It is much easier for men to understand their women than vice versa. The fair sex is emotional, many ladies like to not only describe in detail what happened, but also talk about their feelings. The man only needs to listen. A common mistake that many husbands make: only after learning about the problem, they begin to look for solutions. It's not exactly the right tactic. A woman must first pity and reassure. And only after that you can make some attempts to solve the problem. It is quite possible that real actions will not be required, but it is enough to find words of support in difficult times and remind them of their love and willingness to help.

How to help a beloved man survive the dark streak?

If in a couple troubles occurred with a representative of the stronger sex, a woman should gain wisdom. For some men, problems are only new lessons, while for others, any failure is the end of the world. The main rule is the same as when communicating with any other person. You can not try to find out more than your interlocutor is trying to tell you. Support for a loved one in difficult times can also be based on a complete disregard for the problem. It’s worth behaving as if nothing had happened, trying to please your spouse with some little things. Some men need encouragement. It would be appropriate to say that thanks to strengths character, they will be able to change and adjust everything. The most important thing is to avoid criticism. Even if the current situation occurred due to the mistake and shortcoming of your spouse, you should not remind him of this. Suffice it to say that everything will definitely be as it was or even better.

How to console the patient?

Health problems are the most serious. No wonder they say that you can buy everything except longevity and your well-being. What words of support for a sick person will really help? If the disease is not serious, try to cheer up your interlocutor and jokingly call for speedy recovery. It would be useful to recall what awaits the patient after discharge from the hospital. Promise to go together to some interesting place or take a long-awaited walk. It will also encourage the patient that his presence is not enough for everyone.

What about those who are seriously ill?

If the disease is serious enough, it is necessary to please the patient with every little thing and try to support him. good mood. Daily let's set the fact that a cure is possible. Talk about people who have successfully overcome this disease, and try to introduce your relative or friend to one of them, even if only virtually, using the Internet.

Should parents be supported?

It is not always easy to find words of support for a loved one. How to behave if your parents have problems? Between relatives so close, there should be no secrets. But for parents, we remain children at any age, and for this reason it is difficult for them to talk about their troubles and admit their own weaknesses. Words must be chosen very carefully. Whatever you say, it should not call into question the authority of the parents. The best tactic will be the usual care and participation. Show your attention, and, most likely, mom or dad will not only tell everything, but maybe even ask for help or advice. If a person is depressed and does not seek to find a way out of this situation, you should help him tune in a more positive way. Try something to distract your parents or just talk, remembering the past. The most important thing is not to panic and not rush to act. As soon as calm comes, you can think about the current situation and find the best option solutions to this problem.

How can you help your child deal with problems?


At first glance, there is nothing difficult in supporting a person in difficult times or sympathizing with him when necessary. And yet, so many people find it incredibly difficult to find the right words in situations where they are needed most. How to support a person in difficult times and what to say? There is no universal "recipe". And yet, you can learn to understand which words are relevant in which situations. This will allow you to find exactly the support that a person needs most.

Faith and trust

In general, people in life speak very little and hear phrases such as "I believe in you" or "I trust you." Moreover, psychologists believe that it is the lack of direct expressions of feelings and support that leads people to withdraw and “go into themselves.” That is why it is very important not to be shy to tell a person similar words. Of course, it is desirable to speak them sincerely, but even if you have doubts, such support will be very useful.

Also, do not confuse the issue of faith and trust. In the first case, it is rather about how parents believe in their child, the wife - in her husband, and so on. But trust, rather, is relevant for friends, comrades, colleagues and those who need to know your attitude towards them. Therefore, when your relatives, friends or acquaintances have any problems or difficulties, just say that you believe in them. As a rule, sometimes already such a small step will be enough for support.

no pity

Often you can meet those who, due to the inability to sympathize or a complete misunderstanding of their words, begin to express pity. It is worth remembering that pitying someone and expressing sympathy or regret are radically different concepts. In most cases, pity will not console or support anyone. Rather, such words will make a person even more withdrawn into himself and feel unnecessary. No wonder it is pity that is considered one of the most destructive feelings.
Therefore, even if you are talking to a very sick person and trying to support him, do not express pity. Instead, try to bring a smile and create a good mood.

condolences

In most cases, people have the hardest time finding the right words when it comes to death and burial. How do you support someone who has just lost a family member or friend while experiencing boundless grief? Many people believe that words are completely unnecessary in such situations, but often this is not the case. It's best to say what you think. People always feel sincerity and reciprocate it.

Even if you find it difficult to find the right words in such a situation, try to offer any help you can. Show that you share the grief and are ready to support the person.


Support and inspiration

Often, support has a lot to do with inspiration. It is enough to say a couple of necessary words so that a person not only gains faith in himself, but also finds the strength to overcome any difficulties. Most often, this type of support is distributed in families. For example, when a husband or wife decides to change jobs and begins to doubt whether they can find a decent job, there is nothing better than support. The faith of the most dear people can inspire any person, but it is worth understanding that it needs to be expressed, and not kept in oneself. Not all people are able to understand and “read” even those people with whom they have lived for years, therefore, in the right situations, it is important to say everything that you think.

Not without reason, most creative people can repeatedly increase their performance and aspiration if they have a source of inspiration. Otherwise, they will not be able to do even what they have always done without much difficulty. Moreover, creative person far from always even words are needed, it is enough to support him with presence or attention.

support for depression

The most common situations in which people need support are Bad mood, depression and various problems. It is in such cases that the words of a friend, girlfriend, relative or even work colleagues can “pull” a person out of the abyss of despair and bring him back to life. Psychologists always emphasize that people are social beings, therefore the desire to constantly cope with problems alone, although it can train character and willpower, will never make you live in happiness and harmony.

Sympathy, indifference, empathy - these are invaluable skills inherent in the world of people.

The ability to support a person in a difficult moment makes us closer and better: it is important for both - both for the one who suffers and for the one who extends a helping hand to him. But not everyone knows how, with what words and actions to support another.

Support in action

Think about it: sometimes two words spoken at the right time can save a life. Behind the beautiful and strong facade of a self-sufficient person, deep depression can be hidden, leading to terrible decisions.

Many people around you stand on the edge of the abyss and need compassion, but they are silent about it. To see someone else's misfortune, to pat on the back, to convince a colleague or friend that everything will work out is a great skill.

But it is not enough just to notice the problem, it is important to say the right words. What can they be?

1. "How can I help you?" This phrase is suitable for active, but not particularly sentimental altruists. Demonstrate your readiness to get involved in the battle for a comrade, dig headlong into his problem and together, shoulder to shoulder, resolve the issue.

Perhaps your help will not be needed, but the desire will be appreciated and will instill optimism in a person.

Support in practice is a very important thing. You can bring groceries to a heartbroken friend's house, help her with cleaning, pick up her son from kindergarten while she cleans up.

Surrounding your loved one with care, you will show that he is not alone and is loved.

In difficult situations (during the funeral of loved ones, long-term treatment of relatives, knocking out free medicines), The best way support a person - take on some of the organizational issues.

You can call relatives, consult lawyers, make copies of documents, order tickets, and the like.

2. "What could cheer you up?". Take an interest in what things bring pleasure to a person, suggest pleasant thoughts, distract from problems.

Bucket of ripe strawberries, hike in petting zoo, eating a huge pizza, going to an amusement park, buying a new dress... People draw positive energy from the most unexpected things.

3. "Do you want me to stay by your side?", “Maybe I should stay here today?”. It is harmful for a person in trouble to be alone with negative thoughts and depression. It is not necessary to sit and grind the problem in words - it is enough just to be in the next room, nearby.

4. "Everything goes and it is also". King Solomon was wise and rightly valued this slogan. Everything ends, both good and bad. Times change and bring change with them. Convince the person that you need to endure quite a bit - the finale will come anyway.

5. "What worries you the most?". Learning about the true causes of sadness is useful - this gives the grieving a chance to speak out and at the same time delve into himself, setting priorities and placing emphasis.

It may turn out that the official reason for depression is just a cover for deeper complexes and suffering.

For example, your girlfriend is worried that she was fired. It looks like she is crying because of the financial hole she has fallen into, but in fact, low self-esteem, fear of the new, feeling like a mediocre and stupid employee who nobody needs speaks in her.

Understanding the causes of depression is the key to choosing the right words for support.

6. Instead of a thousand words - silence. Be silent, hug tightly and carefully listen to the confession of the suffering. The ability to listen is no less valuable gift than communication skills.

How not to support in difficult times

Sometimes silence is golden. Especially in those moments when forbidden words and emotions are ready to fly off the lips.

What not to say, does your friend have grief?

1. " I feel so sorry for you!» Pity does not mean sympathy.

In general, self-pity is the last thing a sick, abandoned or fired person wants to feel. It is much better to radiate a positive attitude.

2. " Yes, everything will be fine tomorrow!" If you are not aware of the situation, do not express false-optimistic expectations.

It is difficult for a terminally ill person to hear your conviction that he will "definitely get better." In this case, it is worth looking for other words of support.

3. " I was fired twenty times, but I didn’t kill myself like that". Your experience is certainly invaluable, but a depressed person seems to be in a unique situation. In addition, there are no guarantees that you really got identical problems, and everyone has a special perception of reality.

4. " I feel bad too, my leg hurts, my neck is puffed up". You should not complain in response - after all, you came to support, and not pull the blanket over yourself.

A person in trouble has one consolation - to be in the center of attention, to be surrounded by care. Yes, and it looks ridiculous when you come to a person who has recently lost a loved one and complain about a cough.

With the support of a friend, lover or relative, it is important to be there even in the most difficult emotional periods.

People in grief are aggressive, blinded by rage, offended by the whole world, grouchy and critical.

Being in the same room with them difficult task but this is how the true closeness of souls is manifested and confirmed.