In relationships with girls, eloquence has always played a significant role. Sometimes relationships were created or, conversely, destroyed because of a person's ability to communicate. Communication is important not only with the opposite sex, but also with other people, especially when you want to make contacts with them or acquire joint work. The male site site will lead 10 rules that will help you make contacts and become interesting interlocutor.

Has it ever happened to you that you communicate with a person, but he causes you some discomfort? It seems that he is outwardly attractive, does not say bad words, but something repels him. You naturally want to stop communicating with him as soon as possible.

However, there are people who do not have bright beauty and great knowledge, but it is so easy and fun to communicate with them that you don’t want to stop meeting. It seems that the person is not to your taste. It seems that he does not tell any truths and hidden information. However, it is so pleasant to communicate with him that you do not want to break away.

With each century, the ability of a person to communicate well with people around him becomes the main priority and a step towards. A lot of people say that you need to be well connected to be successful. However, in order to have these good connections you need to be able to be a pleasant and interesting conversationalist. And this is an axiom both in the field of work, business, and in love.

How to arrange an interlocutor?

Tell the person: “I understand you!” - and he will want to continue to communicate with you and continue. Many people ask themselves the question: “How to win over the interlocutor?”. There is nothing easier than just letting him be right even when you disagree with him. Everyone thinks their opinion is the only correct one. Your opinion can be just as wrong as the other person's thoughts. Why argue about who is right and wrong? You can just let everyone be right to begin with! Thus, you win over anyone, because everyone wants to be right.

People don't need much. Give them understanding. When a person is understood, they do not try to argue and convince, then he relaxes and is imbued with gratitude to the interlocutor. You don't have to take someone else's point of view. If you think otherwise, then you have the right to remain with your opinion if it seems to you more correct. If the interlocutor speaks reasonable words, you can correct your opinion. But be that as it may, no matter what you do with your point of view, tell the interlocutor: “I understand you!”.

Understanding does not mean agreeing. To understand means to accept the right to the existence of someone else's opinion, no matter how erroneous and incorrect it may be. When a person feels that you "accept" him, then he will relax. He may even want to hear your thoughts and ask about them. Perhaps he will continue to talk about the topic of the conversation that you are having, and come to a broader understanding of the issue. Give understanding to the other person. This will allow not only to win over the interlocutor to yourself, but also to calm him down, prompting him to look at the issue more broadly.

Often people do not understand each other, or rather, they do not want to accept other people's points of view, because they have their own opinion, which they consider to be more correct. But the argument begins where the interlocutors begin to fight for whose opinion is the most correct, right? Why start a fight when you can avoid it? Accept the right to the existence of someone else's opinion, tell the interlocutor about it, even if your thoughts do not change from this. It is not necessary to fight for the correctness of someone's point of view. You can just listen to what the other person thinks and draw your own conclusions. It is not always necessary to convince someone. The other person has the right to be wrong. Life will put him in his place if he is really wrong. You can make mistakes, just like your interlocutor. And no one, except life itself, will convince you of this. That is why many people, arguing their opinion, often give examples from life.

Tell your partner: "I understand you!". You will not only become his friend, but you will not provoke a quarrel, allow the other person to calm down, not fight you, and also look at the situation more broadly, even listen to your ideas and not resist them. Do you see how many pluses there are in one expression, where you accept the right to the existence of someone else's opinion, no matter how it contradicts yours?

10 rules of an interesting interlocutor

So, you want to become interesting, attractive and a good conversationalist. Here you need to show not only understanding, but also show communication skills that create ease in communication. Consider 10 rules that will make you an interesting conversationalist:

  1. tell me interesting stories. Sometimes there is an awkward silence between the interlocutors. Don't they have anything to say? In fact, they just don't know what to say to them. However, in the life of every person, funny, interesting or exciting events happen. It is about them that you can remember, tell with a smile on your face, have fun and laugh together. The main aspect is that the story should be positive. No need to talk about your problems or tragedies. Tell funny, positive, interesting or educational stories.
  2. Joke. Humor has always been considered one of the attributes of a good interlocutor. Here you can use jokes, funny stories, even compose jokes yourself. Allow yourself to laugh a little - draw the attention of the interlocutor to what makes you laugh. Here important nuance- if the interlocutor does not know how to laugh at himself (his shortcomings), then you do not need to joke about him.
  3. Give compliments. A compliment is a positive evaluation of another person. Who hates to hear nice things about themselves? Even shy people are pleased to hear that others see them from a positive side. No need to bombard the interlocutor with compliments. You can say 2-3 compliments for all the time. However, it will be much nicer than saying nothing at all. One nuance - really notice what is in a person, no need to flatter.
  4. Listen and speak. In communication, a person either listens or speaks. A good conversationalist can do both. Bad interlocutors go to extremes: either they listen and are silent all the time, or they constantly talk without letting other people say a word. You need to be able to both shut up in order to let the interlocutor speak out, and tell something when the interlocutor now wants to listen to your opinion.
  5. Look into the eyes. Confident people do not hide their eyes, but constantly maintain contact with their interlocutors. They look straight into your eyes. Of course, they sometimes translate their gaze. However, they do not hide themselves and do not make their interlocutors shy.
  6. Don't interrupt. This quality many should be developed, because quite often people interrupt each other. Before the interlocutor had time to express everything he wanted, he was immediately interrupted. You can interrupt once or twice, but if this happens constantly, then the interlocutor loses interest in you. He begins to think that you do not want to listen to him, which means that you do not respect and do not take into account his opinion.
  7. Don't ask too many questions. The conversation, of course, consists of questions and answers. However, it shouldn't look like the other person is being interviewed. You ask a question, the person answers you, and it is desirable that his answer be open, affecting various themes. For your part, you can supplement his answer, agree, refute or tell a story that relates to your topic. Questions don't always have to come from you. Let the interlocutor also be interested in something from you, and you give as detailed answers as possible.
  8. Don't criticize. If you want to spoil the other person's mood, start criticizing him. But will he consider you an interesting conversationalist if he feels guilty, pathetic, worthless after your words? Criticism is necessary only on the case. It should be short and concise. However, you should not focus on it. Criticized - and that's enough, move on to another topic.
  9. Don't brag. This quality is rare, but still found. Boasting makes a person miserable, and his interlocutor makes him get rid of the imposed feeling of worthlessness. While you boast, you are proving to the other person that you are better than him. No need to rise at someone else's expense. You can talk about your achievements that you are proud of. However, do not forget at the same time to ask what your interlocutor is proud of - listen to his boasting!
  10. Expand your social circle. The more people you communicate with, the more communication skills you will have. Different people require a different approach to themselves. And this requires you to be flexible and understand your interlocutor, how you need to communicate with him and behave. If you know how to be different in communication, then you become interesting.

Laughter disposes the interlocutor

Do you want to become part of the company? Would you like to make friends with someone? Do you intend to win over your loved one? Create a situation where your partner will laugh heartily. It doesn't matter what exactly you do or what you laugh about. Important - it's a splash positive emotions, which encourage a person to open up to those who made him laugh or were just nearby.

There have been studies that have given the same result. People who were in high spirits were more likely to reveal their secrets, to become sociable and good-natured towards those around them. Laughter brings people closer, research has shown.

How is this phenomenon explained? It is possible to consider in the mechanism such a moment as the elimination of the causes of isolation. A person in a depressed state or when immersed in despondency often closes. He trusts those who surround him at this moment. He does not know what he can say, and what is better to keep silent. Thus, contact with others is disrupted due to the fact that a person becomes closed.

In the moment of laughter, the grievances that grieved are forgotten. No longer spinning in my head negative thoughts and something fun and positive comes up. The brain relaxes, the person himself lets go of the negative, which gives rise to a feeling of stability and calmness. When he does not see any threats for himself, he becomes open and friendly. Most effective method achieving such a state is to make the person you need laugh.

At the moment of a comedic situation, people approach and become open. They remove their barriers with which they used to protect themselves from a cruel world. Thus, if you want to make friends or attract the attention of the right partner, learn to make him laugh, amuse and delight. This will give him a feeling of comfort.

How to become an interesting interlocutor in the end?

Most The best way learning to communicate well with people is to constantly contact them. How can with big amount communicate with people. Keep track of what mood you evoke in them, what words and phrases evoke positive or negative emotions in them. Practice, change your communication style, adjust your skills depending on the result, and then you will become interesting.

To be interesting to other people, you need constant self-improvement and development. Constantly learn something new, study, travel, broaden your horizons. With an erudite person there is always something to talk about, he is always interesting. Find a hobby for yourself. It doesn't matter what it will be: painting or diving, dancing or gardening. At the very least, you will always be of interest to those who share your passion. In addition, a passionate person who devotes himself to his hobby often becomes successful, gains recognition and respect in society. And success will make you interesting to a huge number of people. Be versatile developed person. A deep passion for one thing should not make you a one-sided person. Take an interest in art, sports, music, astronomy, literature, etc. Learning something new is necessary throughout life, the only way to avoid the degradation of the individual. Share your knowledge with others - this is the point of communicating with interesting people! Bernard Shaw said it best of all: “If we exchange apples, then you and I will have one apple each. If we exchange ideas, then you and I will have two ideas.” The desire for new knowledge is inherent in people. And if you are the source of this knowledge, interest in you will not dry up. Learn to express your thoughts beautifully, present information competently, and you will provide yourself with an audience of grateful listeners who listen to your every word and consider you a very interesting person. Accept and love yourself the way you are. Each personality is interesting in its own way, "the whole Universe is hidden in each person." Look at yourself from the outside, define your strong traits and develop them. Do not hide your talents and achievements from people. And some flaws can be made part of your unique image. Do not be afraid to have an opinion on everything and defend it if necessary. Many people are afraid to stand out and prefer to be part of the crowd all their lives. Take risks, find your way, fall and rise again. The richer your life experience, the more interesting you are to others. Use your sense of humor. Wit and ease of communication - the most reliable way gain admirers and friends. Anyone who knows how to joke in time and defuse the situation never gets bored alone. Smile, make others smile, and you will always be in the spotlight!


Interesting person attractive to others. It is pleasant to communicate with a bright, outstanding, versatile person. Such an individual knows how to listen and keep up the conversation, he impresses with his charisma and love of life, has an excellent sense of humor and attracts other people. If you want to become such a person, study the basic qualities interesting people.

Development

To be an interesting conversationalist, you need to constantly learn something new. Be curious, study the questions that interest you, broaden your horizons. Just think how many objects in the world noteworthy, and at the same time, how often you can meet boring, limited people. Do not be like them, study, travel, engage in self-development.

Find your calling. A charismatic person strives for self-realization. You can express yourself through work or hobbies. If you find professional sphere in which your talents are useful, or get carried away with some kind of occupation in free time, so you can infect other people with your own enthusiasm.

Interesting are those people who love their work and are happy to plunge into it with their heads.

Try to be versatile. Pay attention to all your talents and abilities. limited people are not so much of interest to others as addicted persons.

The Art of Conversation

Learn to share your knowledge and experience. Become a great conversationalist. To do this, you need to improve in the ability to speak and the art of listening.

To become a good storyteller, you need to learn how to beautifully, correctly and accurately express your own thoughts. Reading good literature and constant practice in writing and writing will help you master this talent. oral speech.

In addition, you should learn to notice interesting details, become more attentive.

In the ability to listen, eye contact with the interlocutor and, again, attentiveness will help you, as well as demonstrating that you understand the person. Of course, you do not need to interrupt the speaker.

self-acceptance

The person who, first of all, accepts himself becomes attractive to others. Try to see in yourself first of all advantages. It is better to forget about the shortcomings that you cannot correct.

Self-respect, sincere self-love, self-acceptance makes a person worthy of love by others. Be a self-sufficient person, and people will reach out to you. Strong people who are not looking for approval, but for simple communication, are truly interesting to others.

Under any circumstances, try to be yourself. Don't betray your principles by blindly following the crowd. Know how to defend own point vision. Learn to resist undesirable influence and manipulation, preserve your identity. A charismatic person lives in harmony with himself and is not afraid to follow the chosen path.

If this happens often, don't take it personally, it happens to everyone. But how to be interesting to your interlocutor in any situation, I want to tell in this article.

First, as has long been known, it is not the one who speaks more, but the one who listens more. are simple: be the perfect listener, fully immerse yourself in the story, ask clarifying questions, express your sincere interest, insert comments from time to time, sometimes emotionally charged. The questions you ask should be open-ended and cannot be answered with a simple yes or no.

In sales, for example, there is such a KGB technique - the client says more. So, let your interlocutor always say more. They also say this: “Why does a person have two ears and only one mouth?” Guessed? That's right - listen twice as much as you talk.

Well, if you want to take an active position in a conversation, speak so that they listen to you, you need to develop your skills. Try to speak emotionally, use more descriptive adjectives, change the pace of your speech, intonation, volume, pause at the right places, so you will take advantage.

Important point is who you are talking to. A computer scientist is one thing, and an artist is another. Everyone speaks their own language. Listen to what words the person uses in their speech. From time to time and you use them. Try to determine the character of your interlocutor and build your speech, taking this into account. Photo: Depositphotos

How to choose a topic for conversation? suggests that it is best to start communicating on common topics: about the weather, news in cinema, music, books, news. To always be aware of events, regularly view news in areas of interest to you and your environment. Spend at least an hour a week on this - not so much, but believe me, the results will soon make themselves felt.

Try to find out about the interests of the interlocutor - just ask him about it. Any person will be happy to tell you about his favorite pastime.

To find a common language with any person, you need to expand your horizons. To do this, make it a habit to constantly study some new topic for you - and spend 1-2 hours on it every week. For example, decide: today you are studying what stocks are, or something else. It is important that it is interesting to you.

To get started, you can look at the material on the topic of interest to you in the encyclopedia. If there is a desire, go deeper into the study further. You can find books on topics of interest in an online bookstore, you can use other web resources, fortunately, you don’t need to go anywhere specially. You can quickly select and compare the information you need.

I'm pretty sure that by following these simple advice, you can improve your communication skills, and soon you will be described as a very interesting person.

To support any conversation, to supplement the dialogue with facts, to decorate speech with successful verbal turns and quotations - this is a whole art that a person learns with early childhood. We learn to listen to the interlocutor, catch the thought and support him, using the information that we receive daily from the means mass media. It is very important to be able to correctly build your thoughts and express them during a conversation. Oratory makes us charismatic, knowledgeable and wise man. Let's find out how to become an interesting conversationalist and what you need to do for this.

Fighting the inner self

If at least one complex sits inside you, then it can make you a squeezed and insecure person. An interesting interlocutor is, first of all, one who was able to carefully work on himself. If you are a shy, modest, cowardly and unlucky person, then this article is for you. Try to spend little experiment: take a sheet of paper and mentally draw a line in the center. In the first column, write down all your positive traits and hobbies, in the second - all their fears and complexes. Take a look at the list and be surprised: after all, the first column will indicate at least 5 interests that make you partly happy. Each hobby can develop into something bigger and grandiose, which will eventually defeat your complexes.

Right Society

You will not learn how to become an interesting conversationalist if you try to please everyone and everyone. Sometimes you do not notice that you are surrounded by people whose hobbies are fundamentally different from your inner "I". This can manifest itself as ignoring the interlocutor or comments addressed to you that listening to you is uninteresting and boring.

First of all, analyze how your worldview coincides with the surrounding society. Then just change your social circle. Don't know where to find it? Attend concerts, museums, sporting events, poetry evenings, needlework classes, or foreign languages. Turning your interests into reality, developing them, you will begin to notice how your environment is changing, new people appear in it. amazing people who want and will listen to you with rapture.

If your partner is a man

Men love smart people, they like it when the interlocutor can support any conversation. There is no need to limit yourself to the fact that men are the stronger sex who are only interested in sports, fishing and cars. First of all, the male part of the earth is the same representatives human race who are fond of cooking, and cinema, and literature, and animals. To be an interesting conversationalist for the male half of the population, you should not pretend that you enjoy the dialogue, and do not try to pull out any convoluted facts from yourself. It is enough to be open, win over a partner and not be shy about sharing your hobbies. Remembering this simple advice, you will know the truth of how to become an interesting conversationalist for a man.

If your partner is a girl

Girls are the perfect sex. They are mysterious and romantic, dreamy and fragile. Girls, as a rule, love with their ears, so for such an interlocutor you must find a certain approach. First, listen carefully to each story. If you are bored in the middle of a story, then this may not be your partner. Secondly, not all girls love fashion, animals and photography. Many are fond of fishing, hunting, engineering, and someone much better than men repairs household appliances. Here the principle is simple: to learn how to become an interesting interlocutor for a girl, you need to be literate and well-read. You can hit a girl only with facts, knowledge and non-standard thinking, and not just with beauty, strength and strong character.

Books for self-development

Many start small and wonder: "What books to read to become an interesting conversationalist?" It is enough to understand that you must develop constantly, and for this you need to read literature, and watch scientific programs, and attend interesting events, and travel, and communicate with different people. Literature in this case will help to know only the theoretical part. oratory, but not more. After reading books, you need communication to learn how to hone your skills. We present to your attention the top 10 literary masterpieces that will help you to know human nature and look from the outside at ideal interlocutors:

What does it take to be an interesting conversationalist? Become more open. You won't be able to attract attention if you are closed in your cocoon. Open up to people, learn to trust them, don't be afraid to talk about your hobbies, desires and dreams. But no one talks about being pushy and trying to win the hearts of everyone around.

If you don’t know how to become an interesting conversationalist, then you will have to learn how to talk about yourself. If you are squeezed and closed in yourself, then an easy exercise will help you: write out the stories from your life on a piece of paper, read it carefully. Try putting down on paper the thoughts and feelings that you can't say out loud.

Do not be afraid to express your opinion and defend a personal point of view, do not be afraid to ask about the affairs of the interlocutor and give advice if you are asked. Be confident and proud, never lower your eyes and head. Feel free to compliment and call the interlocutor by name. By following all these tips, you will learn how to become an interesting conversationalist.


Sometimes we do everything for others. We spend so much energy, we give everything of ourselves. And in response? No thanks! Is it really that hard to just say "thank you"?

Perhaps you should not do good deeds for people, because they would never do something like me? Tired. It's time to be the same. As they are to me, so am I to them.

Every time we come to this conclusion. Already read a large number of Literature that teaches you to say "no". But as soon as someone once again asks us for something, and we undertake to fulfill his request, completely forgetting all the memorized advice. It is better to agree than later to experience a heavy sense of guilt and suffer from the fact that you are not loved.


You do something for a person, and for a moment it becomes easier. And then a feeling of resentment and injustice arises, an understanding comes that the act done was contrary to our own interests. We were used again and forgotten.

It seems that it has always been like this, since childhood. Everyone is just waiting to use our kindness and reliability for their own purposes. It's time to stop this. It's time to learn to say no! But how to do that? How to become bad?

Who is a good girl?

Before answering these questions, we need to understand why this is happening? Why are some people unable to refuse any request, trying their best to please others?

The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan calls this behavior complex good girl. As this science of the mental explains, this complex is inherent in the owners of the anal-visual bundle of vectors.

A vector is a set of innate properties and desires of a person, which is responsible for his preferences, way of thinking, value system and behavior. Modern man has an average of three to five vectors. Some of them create stable bonds that manifest themselves in certain life scenarios.

There are people whom nature has awarded with a phenomenal memory. They are necessary for humanity to accumulate the acquired experience and knowledge and pass them on to future generations. They become good teachers and teachers, professionals in their field, experts. We are talking about people with an anal vector.

These are responsible, decent people who want to be good in everything. And people with an anal-visual bundle of vectors especially. In childhood, these are the most obedient, "golden" children.


Firstly, for children with a visual vector, more than for anyone else, emotional ties with their mother are important, so they are ready for anything, so long as these ties are not interrupted. These are very emotional children who can hardly stand their mother's coldness or neglect.

Secondly, the value of the anal vector is a positive assessment of actions, praise, especially from the mother, because the mother is no less valuable for them. Therefore, they make every effort to please their mother and receive well-deserved praise.

But sometimes adults abuse praise, praise undeservedly or, on the contrary, do not praise deservedly, using for their own purposes the child's desire to be good in everything. By resorting to the manipulation of praise, parents develop in their child an endorphin addiction to it. Such a person, even in adulthood, will strive to please others in everything.

We are all different

The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan says that for a person with an anal vector, it is important that everything be equal, fair. If he did something, made efforts, then these efforts should be appreciated.

We look at other people through ourselves, we believe that what is valuable and important for us is just as important for other people. For example, praise and gratitude are valuable to us, and we believe that this is the case for everyone. But for others, it may be very different.

For example, people with a skin vector are not used to saying "thank you", because they act from a position of benefit-benefit. The best gratitude for them is expressed by something material. And people with a sound vector in serious conditions may not hear us at all, not pay any attention to others.


When people don't behave the way we expect, we resent them. We do not understand how you can not thank or praise for a good deed. resentment do not let us live in peace.

But at the same time, when it seems to us that we are doing too much for people, that it is time to stop, and denying something, a heavy feeling of guilt flares up in us. Even when we do something not good enough for others, we feel uncomfortable. Life turns out in constant distortions: at first we are offended by the fact that we are being used, then we suffer from guilt that we did not. This causes great discomfort and ruins life.

In the visual vector, the reason for the desire to please everyone can also be an increased importance emotional connections. People with an anal-visual bundle of vectors may feel that if they are not kind and good to everyone, they will not be loved, which is a lot of stress for them.

How to find a way out

We cannot change ourselves or others. What to do? How to live with it? Becoming bad is not a way out. After all, this will not solve the problem, but only worsen our condition.

The way out is shown by the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan. First of all, you need to understand yourself, your desires and aspirations. Realizing where the need for someone else's approval came from, we begin to understand what drives us at such moments. And we, not needing praise, do not strive to please everyone. We also begin to love ourselves, and not seek love and approval from everyone in relation to ourselves.

At the training in system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan, childhood traumas are worked out, the mechanisms of our behavior become clear, the good girl complex disappears. This is evidenced by the opinions of people who have completed the training.