What is narcissism and how does it affect a person's character? Narcissism is a mental illness or trait

AT recent times popular is the slogan - love yourself, otherwise success in life will not be achieved. When there is increased and unjustified self-love, then this is already narcissism, which can cause serious problems. It is important to deal with such deviations, otherwise the situation may worsen.

What is Narcissism - Definition

Psychologists believe that for each person great value has love for himself, but there are times when everything goes beyond the limits and then we can already talk about narcissism. This is understood as a character trait, which is expressed in inflated self-esteem and inexplicable love for one's own person. Explaining why people are called narcissists, it is worth mentioning ancient Greek myth, telling about the son of a river god who loved himself so much that he could not tear himself away from his reflection in the river and eventually died of exhaustion.

Destructive narcissism

This kind of narcissism means a distortion or impairment of the ability to really perceive and evaluate oneself. It arises because of existing fears, disappointments, prohibitions, prejudices, and so on. The syndrome of narcissism manifests itself in a great desire to be in the center of attention and to receive confirmation of one's own importance from the people around. The destructive view is characterized by an inadequate-contradictory assessment of oneself. In addition, such people are closed and distortedly perceive others.

pathological narcissism

This term refers to a violation of character with serious personality disorders. People with such a problem can lead a successful life and occupy significant cells in society. Pathological narcissism is a psychological disease that can begin to form from infancy, and the cause may lie both in the coldness of the mother and in excessive love.

Primary Narcissism

This condition belongs to the characteristics of the newborn and is explained by the fact that the libido is more turned on itself than on the world. Primary narcissism describes the original state of the baby, since he is not yet able to distinguish between himself and external objects. The child feels omnipotent because all his needs are met quickly and unconditionally. In the future, the narcissist will be tempted to return to their original sense of security and narcissism, and this is secondary narcissism.

perverted narcissism

This is the most severe form of the flow of narcissism, in which a person is not able to perceive other people as individuals. He easily takes advantage of others and does not think about their feelings and desires. The characteristic of a narcissist indicates that he constantly wants to assert himself at the expense of others, but at the same time he does not enter into an open conflict. People with this disorder enjoy moral violence. The consequences of dealing with such a narcissist can be dire, ranging from severe depression to suicide.

Narcissism and sex

The presented concept in sexology has a different meaning, and it is understood as receiving sexual satisfaction from oneself, for example, while observing one's body in a mirror. Psychopathy and narcissism are connected by the fact that when the situation is aggravated, a person has intrusive thoughts and activities, such as frequent and prolonged masturbation. Often, this state of affairs leads to serious disorders and one cannot do without the help of a specialist. Since narcissists are constantly on the lookout for the perfect partner, they often engage in promiscuity.

Signs of Narcissism

You can recognize a person who admires himself by several features:

He likes to talk, so in any issue he will certainly insert his opinion, but what others say does not interest him at all. In addition, when telling any news, narcissists necessarily apply it to themselves.
Take care of your health and appearance.
Narcissism and personality transformation are manifested in the fact that a person constantly thinks for himself, so that he is comfortable and comfortable.
He cannot calmly accept constructive criticism, and the narcissist considers even a small remark an insult.
Negatively refers to people who require care, this also applies to animals. This is explained by the fact that they attract the attention of others, and narcissists do not like to share.
Narcissism manifests itself in the desire to hide their shortcomings and exaggerate their virtues.

Narcissism in men

In most cases, male narcissism manifests itself in the desire to assert oneself and prove oneself and others one's worth. Narcissists are literally delusional about success, are two-faced and consumers of women. Psychology explains that narcissism in men is a path to loneliness, since problems in the family and society cannot be avoided. If the worst form of this is observed psychological state, then aggression can be manifested, expressed in domestic tyranny.

Narcissism in women - signs

Women who suffer from narcissism spend a lot on caring for their own appearance. Very rarely, such ladies earn money on their own, and they have sponsors, for example, men or parents. Narcissism in women is manifested in their consumer attitude towards members of the opposite sex. What is most interesting is that men themselves admire such ladies, because they seem so inaccessible to them. Women with narcissism often have problems communicating with children because they have excessive demands on them.

Causes of Narcissism

Factors that provoke narcissism are of a different nature:

Anatomical. Experiments have established that people with such a deviation have a thickening of the cortex and outer shell of the brain, as well as changes in some nerve cells. Scientists have determined that such failures relate to parts of the brain responsible for empathy.
Psychological. Male and female narcissism can be triggered by different circumstances and this includes genetics, upbringing and numerous psychological factors. The most common reasons include overprotective parents, dependence on the opinions of others, psychological trauma and illness.
Baby. Many parents do not even think about the fact that they are raising a child incorrectly. Permissiveness, excessive all-forgiving love, lack of attention from parents - all this can cause the development of narcissism, which is actually a defense mechanism.

Narcissism - treatment

It is rare to cope with a problem without the help of a psychologist. At first, a person will take a defensive position, so the specialist uses various tricks to win over the patient, for example, demonstrating his recognition and respect. At the same time, the psychologist uses numerous methods to regulate self-esteem. The disease of narcissism includes two types of therapy:

Individual. The specialist uses various psychological practices, the main purpose of which is to explain to the patient the principles of the formation of narcissism so that he accepts his problem. Often this takes a long time.
group. Group work is essential as it helps to develop a healthy individuality and learn to perceive other people. Group therapy teaches you to suppress narcissism and feel normal in society.

Test for narcissism

To diagnose the disorder, different methods are used. AT without fail a general examination and a survey of the close environment are carried out to find out what caused the development of the deviation. There is a generally accepted NPI test, which was developed in 1979, but it cannot be the only diagnostic tool. It is recommended to conduct the test together with a psychologist, who can additionally give close relatives of the patient advice on how to survive in the world of narcissism.

The NPI test (you can pass) consists of 40 pairs of statements, from which a person chooses only one option that is suitable for him. It is not recommended to think about questions for a long time, as this reduces the effectiveness. The optimal time is 7-10 minutes. After that, the specialist analyzes the results and draws certain conclusions, such as what type of narcissism, how much the problem is aggravated, and so on. In addition, the results help the psychologist develop the right strategy treatment.

Narcissism is one of the manifestations of a personality disorder - a psychological condition characterized by high self-esteem. Medical terminology aside, narcissism can be described as pathological self-love, which is expressed in the form of constant narcissism. People with this problem face difficulty social adaptation in society, because they do not know how to build communicative ties with others. Even the closest environment of the "narcissus" is quite difficult to get along with him on the same territory. In this article, we propose to consider the various aspects associated with this personality disorder.

Daffodils are not only cute flowers, but also a certain type of personality

In the minds of many people, at the word “narcissus”, an image of a snow-white flower with a yellowish center pops up. However, given word also used as medical term describing a personality disorder. Narcissism is pathological narcissism, accompanied by inflated self-esteem.

There is an ancient Greek legend about a young man named Narcissus, after whom the disorder in question was named. According to this legend, the nymph Echo was in love with Narcissus, but the guy refused her feelings because of his pride. As punishment, the goddess Nemesis doomed the young man to eternal love for his own reflection. According to legend, when a young man saw his own reflection in a pond, he turned to stone and spent the rest of his life by the shore. It was there that he died of hunger and suffering. A flower appeared at the site of his remains, which was named after his name. Quite interesting is the fact that the receptacle of this flower leans towards the ground, which is a symbol of the human head, leaning towards the water surface.

It is the aforementioned legend that best demonstrates the characteristics of narcissism. However, with the development modern medicine, the concept under consideration has lost its clear boundaries. Today, the term "narcissism" is used to describe not only narcissism, but also ambitiousness, in which a person is firmly convinced of his superiority over others. Faced with various life difficulties, narcissistic people cannot find an explanation for them, which gives rise to internal conflicts. The presence of such conflicts can lead to more serious mental disorders. This explains the need to combat pathological narcissism.

How Narcissism Manifests

Having considered what narcissism is, the definition of which was given above, one should proceed to the signs of a manifestation of a personality disorder. Thanks to many years of research on this issue, leading world experts in the field of psychology, medicine has been able to determine the presence of the personality disorder in question, based on the following signs:

Overestimated attention to the importance of one's own person;
Contempt for those people who do not meet the criteria for perfection, according to the narcissist.
Desire is constantly in the center of attention, becoming an object of admiration.
Strong belief in the uniqueness of one's own personality.
Passionate thirst for material wealth and power.
Complete or partial lack of empathy.
Haughty demeanor, shocking, commercialism.
Concealment of one's own negative qualities, increased criticality to the shortcomings of others.
Aggression and violence in response to constructive criticism.
The presence of a firm belief that all the surrounding people envy the success achieved.
Bragging about imaginary "achievements".

In ordinary consciousness, a narcissist is a person who is in love with himself.

It is important to mention that there is no pretense in the behavior of narcissists. All ongoing actions aimed at admiring their own person bring them real pleasure. Narcissistic behavior is a focus on self-gratification, which is the exact opposite of playing in front of an audience. That is why it is almost useless to be offended by such a model of behavior. Judgment and constructive criticism can only cause a feeling of bewilderment, since people with personality disorders perceive their behavior as the norm.

female narcissism

According to statistics, narcissism in women has a vivid form of severity. This can be explained by "feminine nature." In order to attract the attention of men, women are forced to pay increased attention to their own appearance. However, "dancing in front of a mirror", frequent changes of outfits and constant correction of hairstyles are not signs of a psychological disorder.

AT young age, signs of narcissism in women are quite rare. Most girls between the ages of sixteen and thirty do not need constant attention to their own appearance. Moreover, haughty behavior and elevating one's own status above others can help attract the attention of the opposite sex.

Narcissistic women prefer gentle and caring partners as life companions.

The presence of the pathology in question implies a constant need for admiration from others. The character of a man is the last thing women of this type are interested in, so most men next to a narcissist woman have a certain dependence on the opinion of the majority. Since narcissists retain the dominant role in relationships, they prefer to avoid alliances with determined and ambitious personalities.

The first clear signs of narcissism in women appear after childbirth. Since the child is a direct reflection of the mother, she pays increased attention to creating an ideal image. The life of such children is quite difficult, because their mothers constantly expect extraordinary abilities from them. Many mothers try to instill their own ideals and worldviews in their children. A child in such a family grows up in constant stress due to the fact that every act performed must be approved by the mother.

Narcissism is, first of all, a feature of character, it manifests itself in the excessive and inflated love of the individual for himself.

Male narcissism

Signs of narcissism in men are most pronounced in adolescence. Vital activity and a constant increase in the circle of friends makes a teenager look for various ways take a leading position among their surroundings. However, narcissists tend to have no close friends. At a young age, narcissistic boys pay increased attention to their own appearance. In conditions modern society such behavior can be regarded as a manifestation of non-traditional orientation.

Quite often, men suffering from the psychological disorder in question experience difficulties in building relationships with the opposite sex. Despite the fact that such relationships can be interesting and unusual for women, very soon they realize that a man is paying less and less attention to their union.

When men with this personality disorder create a cell of society, they direct all their attention to further self-affirmation. A woman who is next to such a man can calmly perceive his shortcomings. Psychology characterizes narcissism in men as a pathological passion for their own ambitions. Children in such families experience an acute lack of parental attention and love, since a woman gives all her love only to a man. the main problem male narcissism lies in the fact that the achievement of the intended goals does not cause a feeling of satisfaction.

Having reached middle age, a man comes to the conclusion that narcissism does not bring former pleasure, but to turn his attention to other areas (career achievements, family values) too late.

Relationship between two narcissists

According to psychologists, couples consisting of two people with pathological narcissism are quite common. Family relationships such couples are built on the foundation of self-love. In such couples, each of the partners pays increased attention to himself, and the second does not show negative attitude to such behavior. Partners in such pairs constantly support each other, which contributes to mutual understanding and the absence of conflicts.

The basis of the emergence of narcissism lies in the early assessment of children's actions by parents.

Unlike parents, children in such pairs have a rather difficult time. Most parents who suffer from narcissism try to embody in their children what they could not achieve on their own. According to psychologists, in most cases, a child with a tendency to this psychological disorder is brought up in a family of two narcissists.

Sexology

Narcissism is a mental illness that can cause sexual deviation, aimed at feeling sexual attraction to oneself. The terms "autoeroticism" and "autophilia" are used to describe this pathological condition. According to experts, it is the narcissistic behavior that is the cause of this pathology. At the initial stages of the development of the disease, a person gets real pleasure, admiring his own reflection.

Thoughts about one's own ideality cause euphoria and delight. At a certain stage of sexual deviation, narcissism manifests itself in the form of physical self-satisfaction, where during the process itself the narcissist enjoys the feeling of his own beauty.

Freud's opinion

The founder of many psychotherapeutic practices, Sigmund Freud said that the syndrome in question is often observed in children who grew up in single-parent families. In his opinion, the pathological love of a single mother for own child leads to the fact that at a certain stage of growing up, the child begins to personify himself with his own mother. It is this reason that is the root of internal conflicts that become the basis for the formation of mental disorders. In the case of boys, such a mother's attitude can lead to a tendency to homosexuality, since female traits predominate in the character of a man.

The term "narcissism" has been used in the field of psychoanalysis for over a century. Sigmund Freud introduced several similar concepts, of which the narcissistic libido should be distinguished. This term should be understood as sexual energy directed towards one's own personality. According to a well-known psychologist, this condition is mental disorder requiring timely therapy.

Everyone has narcissism to varying degrees.

Contact with a narcissist

A narcissist is a person with a complex mental disorder who needs to communicate with other people. However, in the very process of communication, various difficulties may arise due to the specific manner of behavior. It is important to understand that the desire to rise above others is not negative trait nature, but one of the symptoms of the disease.

When there are people with obvious signs of the syndrome in question in a person’s social circle, the first one has to adjust himself to a certain framework of communication. First and foremost, most narcissists seek to devalue others. In order to feel their own importance, narcissists are forced to constantly be in search of the shortcomings and flaws of other people. Based on this, when communicating with such a person, you should open up as much as possible in order to reduce doubts in your person. This approach to communication instills in narcissists a sense of respect for the interlocutor.

Treatment for Narcissism

Narcissism is a disease that can become the breeding ground for more complex mental disorders. However, the people themselves suffering from this syndrome rarely turn to psychologists, because they do not notice the symptoms of the disease. In their opinion, the chosen behavioral model is correct and adequate. In the case of deficit narcissism, the person is highly dependent on public opinion. With this form of pathology, the patient does not receive a sense of satisfaction from his own personality. To feel their importance, the patient needs constant admiration of others, otherwise a serious internal conflict may arise.

A person with the disease in question needs urgent psychological treatment. It is very important that psychotherapy sessions are carried out by an experienced specialist with extensive experience in the treatment of personality disorders.

As punishment for this, he was doomed to fall in love with his own reflection in the water of the lake, and died from this love.

Narcissism as a sexual deviation

Literature

Mlodik, Irina Yurievna. The bottom of an endless well, or the painful path of a daffodil (Russian) (html). Journal "Psychology" (Aug 25, 2009). Archived from the original on August 25, 2011. Retrieved August 25, 2009.

Notes

Signs of female narcissism

Narcissists are usually referred to as people who love themselves more than any other person. At the same time, inner confidence in one's superiority is accompanied by admiration "from the outside" and requires confirmation from the environment.

A narcissistic person combines the following traits:

heightened self-esteem;
confidence in one's own exclusivity (talents, attractiveness, charm, intelligence, etc.);
a sense of independence from external rules;
expectation good relationship and at the same time submission, envy from others;
seeking admiration from other people;
inability to sympathize and empathize;
fantasies about their successes.

For women, light narcissism is characteristic in an unconscious form: periodic admiring oneself in the mirror, the desire to decorate oneself, showing off to friends, seducing men. Conscious narcissism is present in the form of deliberate theatricality of behavior. Such "daffodils" demonstrate to others their exclusivity and require attention, regardless of the circumstances.

The dangers of narcissism

Narcissism as a personality trait has positive and Negative consequences. The positives include:

desire for self-improvement. This applies to appearance, education, success in work or creativity;
external attractiveness, regardless of the initial data - such people know how to "apply themselves";
charm, eloquence.

Negative characteristics of a narcissist:

an unjustifiably high opinion of one's own data and an unjustifiably low opinion of others;
unwillingness to listen to someone else's opinion, criticism;
inability to work on oneself in accordance with other people's needs, including in the professional sphere;
rapid idealization and devaluation of others;
focus on yourself, your needs and desires.

Wherein positive features the nature of narcissistic people is overshadowed by their negative properties. With age, problems with an adequate assessment of oneself and those around them are exacerbated. This makes "narcissists" unpleasant, cold, selfish and intolerant people.

Psychology data

According to psychologists, narcissism in men is more focused on achievements, in women - on appearance. Achievements that allow a female narcissist to be exaggeratedly proud of herself are more often related to her spouse and / or children.

Manifestations of narcissism in women in relation to themselves look like frequent admiring the reflection, excessively careful selection of clothes and accessories, cosmetics and hairstyles. In addition, narcissistic women can concentrate on achieving a harmonious (from their point of view) appearance of housing, workplace, and the appearance of loved ones.

Especially dangerous is perverse narcissism in women. Signs of such a personality disease are manifested when communicating with other people: this is an attractive, significant person for others. At the same time, its attractiveness is perverted (the term "perverse" is associated with the Latin word perverere - to pervert, to twist). Such a woman exalts herself by humiliating others. This happens hidden, masked by outward benevolence and charm.

Perverse narcissists are aggressors who "feed" on fear, doubt, and the suffering of "victims".

Self-admiration and self-exhibition

Close in appearance and destructive consequences to narcissism in men and women exhibitionism. The desire to prove to oneself and others one's own exclusivity and attractiveness leads to covert or overt posing, displaying one's appearance or achievements.

A striking example of exhibitionism as part of a narcissistic nature is multiple selfies. The popularity of self-photography, video is associated with the insecurity of young and mature people in its attractiveness to others.

Showing off in in social networks, on public and private sites, looking through photos and videos taken personally, narcissistic personalities are convinced of their exclusivity. Example: a girl takes a selfie, posts it on Instagram or Facebook, and judges her popularity and ability to charm men based on the number of likes and reposts.

Phallic narcissism in women

The association of the term "phallus" with the masculine principle in psychology is not unconditional. Under "phallic narcissism" in women is understood the desire to increase, "inflate" some of their features to the state of "erogation". This desire to stand out from the team, to become unique. Under the influence of such a desire, women make plastic surgery, modifying the body and face to an absurd look, blindly follow fashion or try to create it. Narcissism also includes the desire to show superiority over other women (and men) with the help of expensive, inaccessible to most things.

When a female person is obsessed with work, narcissistic disorder manifests itself as a manic desire to build a career, get a position / salary / opportunities that exceed those of colleagues.

Conclusion

Reasonable and moderate love for yourself, the desire to improve your data and capabilities is the engine of personal progress. However, at the same time, the inability to adequately perceive criticism, build relationships with people on the basis of equality and balance, strengthening the ego through belittling others is reasonably considered a mental disorder and requires treatment.

When a person realizes psychological problem or qualified outside help (psychoanalyst, psychotherapist), narcissism returns to a rational framework, allowing a person to live a full life and be accepted by society and the inner "I".