The main thing is to keep calm! Ways to calm down and be less nervous. How to calm your nerves and relieve stress - the best tips and advice from experts

Enjoy life in a dynamic modern world not every person is capable. This is a whole science, the principles of which are not studied at school and are not included in the compulsory program of higher education. educational institutions. It takes time to learn to remain calm in any situation, as well as the ability to achieve peace of mind in any critical situation. Consider current situations when it is necessary to calm down in time and stop being nervous.

Why is a person nervous

Each of us, at least once in our lives, found ourselves in a situation where the nerves “heated up” to a critical point, and you lost control not only over the situation, but also over yourself. At the same time, your heartbeat quickened, your palms began to sweat, and discomfort appeared in the abdomen. In addition, you become irritable and sometimes aggressive. These are standard symptoms of nervousness that cause internal discomfort in a person.

It should be noted that nervousness is associated with physiological and psychological features personality. For example, with the type of her nervous system or temperament. A person becomes nervous in those situations when he is afraid to fail, to do something wrong or to be rejected. If in this situation a person cannot calm down, but is constantly in a state of nervousness, he has the following conditions:

• Decreased mental activity and defocusing of attention;
• Loss of control over one's own facial expressions, intonation, gestures;
• Exacerbation of chronic diseases and the development of new ailments;
• Focusing on unimportant things.

Nervousness is an individual trait of each person. In this regard, all people experience and are nervous in different ways. In one person, it manifests itself in a surge of violent emotions, and in another - in isolation and alienation from the real world.

Psychologists are sure that every person can get rid of nervousness in critical situations and master yourself. After all, in our life there are very few reasons to worry and worry a lot. Basically, we are nervous unreasonably and for nothing.

How to calm down after a fight

Parting with a loved one is always difficult, regardless of whether you have lived with your soulmate for only a year or more than ten years. Female representatives react quite sharply to divorce, falling into a state of stress and mental imbalance. Psychologists first of all recommend that women calm down and not be nervous in the situation that has arisen. In addition, you can use some tips from professionals to help you master your own feelings and emotions:

• Don't torture yourself with endless worries. After all, time will put everything in its place, and your torment will be in vain.
• If you feel that you have treated a man incorrectly, you should admit your guilt and ask for his forgiveness.
• Look at the quarrel with a certain amount of positivity. Indeed, in the near future, reconciliation with your beloved man is possible, which will give you a lot of positive emotions.
• Take a break from sad thoughts. To do this, visit the gym, go to the cinema or enjoy the beauty of nature.
• Chat with friends more often and make new acquaintances with interesting people.

In addition to the above tips, psychologists do not recommend restraining your own emotions. If you feel like crying, don't hold back your tears. After all, unrealized emotions can cause various neuroses, depression and other mental disorders in a woman.

In order to no longer be nervous about a quarrel with a loved one, completely refocus on your own person. First, raise your self-esteem. To do this, go in for sports, change your appearance with a new hairstyle or makeup. You can also radically change the image, and even the place of work.

In addition, surround yourself true friends and good friends, communication with which will surely help you to distract from problems.

Herbal infusions of mint, valerian, lavender and chamomile, as well as relaxing baths with essential oils, effectively help to calm down. Do not forget to also rest on time, as a good sleep is best solution many problems.

Thus, all of the above tips are not complicated. They will help you quickly cope with experiences, as well as restore lost harmony with the outside world and yourself.

How to master yourself before an important event

Sometimes it is very difficult to maintain composure and mental balance before any important event in your life. It can be a difficult exam, an important meeting or a speech. For everything to go well and you showed best result, you need to remain calm and focus on the goal. In addition, you should definitely think about a positive result, and completely discard thoughts of failure and failure.

• Deep breath for 4 seconds;
• Hold your breath for 2 seconds;
• Gradual exhalation for 4 seconds;
• Hold your breath for 2 seconds.

It should be remembered that when performing this exercise, you need to breathe not with your chest, but with your stomach. After all, it is diaphragmatic breathing that normalizes the heartbeat and has a calming effect on the body.

During breathing exercises, concentrate only on breathing and do not think about upcoming events. In a few minutes you will become a completely calm person.

In addition, you can use two effective ways that will help you stay calm before an important event or event. Let's consider them in more detail:

• Create a visual image in your mind. Psychologists recommend relaxing, restoring breathing, closing your eyes and imagining white clear water, which gives you coolness and cheerfulness. Water should drain into a deep funnel. All your worries and troubles go away with it. Then take a deep breath and open your eyes.
• Perform a neck and shoulder massage. Retire to the bathroom, soak your hands in cool water, and start massaging your neck and shoulders. At first, the movements should be slow, and then more active. After the massage, wet the neck area again with cool water.

If breathing exercises and a psychological attitude did not help you get rid of your worries, try to demonstrate external equanimity and calmness. This will help you achieve inner peace and confidence.

To begin with, eliminate the habits that appear in you in critical situations: tapping your fingers, walking in different directions, fidgeting in a chair, etc. Try to control your own emotions. In addition, stop rushing and being nervous over trifles. After all, because of the haste, you will instantly lose composure and calmness. Before an important event, set yourself up only for success, and also radiate self-confidence, despite external circumstances.

How to maintain mental balance at work

Everyone faced a situation when disagreements arose with the team or the boss at the workplace, as well as important projects or business meetings were disrupted. As a result, negative emotions overwhelm a person, he begins to lose self-control and control over the situation. For instant stress relief, psychologists recommend doing the following:

• Wash your face. This procedure will help you relieve stress. Use cool water for washing.
• Perform breathing exercises. Simple exercises can help stabilize your heart rate and heart rate, as well as calm your mind. nervous system.
• Drink herbal tea. A warm drink made from various medicinal herbs will help restore lost emotional balance. If you do not have herbal tea on hand, you can brew regular black tea with mint.
• Take a break from work. Try to switch to a new object, as well as listen to your favorite tunes, call a loved one, or do some physical exercise. Changing the type of activity will help you quickly distract from problems.
• Communication with colleagues and friends. A conversation with people close to you will help you look at the situation from the other side, and also distract from negative thoughts. In addition, you will quickly find a way out of an unpleasant situation.
• Go for a walk. Fresh air and walking will help you cope with emotions and stabilize the nervous system.
• Put the situation on paper. Take clear sheet paper and describe in detail the situation that made you worried and nervous. After that, you will definitely feel better, and the problems that have arisen will not seem unsolvable.
• Get rid of problems. Pleasant fantasies will help you cope with depression or stress that has arisen after troubles at work. You can imagine yourself on a beach with golden sand or on a desert island.

Each person must have their own effective way to help you stop worrying. In addition, psychologists recommend following these simple rules:

• Rationally plan your own working day;
• To engage in labor activities only during working hours;
• Learn to say “no” to leaders and refuse new assignments.

These rules will help save your energy, do not waste your own time, and also save you from overwork at the workplace. Strive to receive from work only positive emotions and don't worry about the little things.

Techniques for controlling your emotions

To learn how to control your own emotions, it is important to strengthen the nervous system daily. This will help you to be more relaxed and calm in stressful situations. Psychologists are sure that thanks to these methods, you can stop being nervous over trifles and quickly restore emotional balance. Let's consider them in more detail:

• Learn to meditate. This is an effective way to relax the nervous system and get rid of stress.
• Keep healthy and active image life. Proper nutrition, taking vitamins, playing sports will help to cope with the troubles that have arisen very quickly.
• Spend a lot of time outdoors. Walking after work and active walking will help strengthen the human nervous system.
• Learn to do breathing exercises. This breathing technique will help you restore emotional balance in any situation.
• Eliminate all bad habits. Don't relieve stress with alcohol, smoking, excessive coffee consumption, or overeating. Such ways of relaxing will adversely affect your health.

In addition, learn to sincerely rejoice in your own successes, and perceive failures as a temporary phenomenon. At the beginning of the day, think about what good and pleasant things can happen to you today. Focus on positive results and good mood that will not leave you during the day.

Try not to be nervous about events that you have no control over. For example, the weather forecast or the dollar exchange rate. Properly plan your own day, deciding first of all the most actual problems. If you need to implement a large project, do it in several stages. This will help you not be nervous about missing deadlines. Learn to manage your emotions, relax and enjoy life and you will not have to be nervous over trifles.

Stress has become one of the components of our lives. We are afraid of the boss, we are angry with the neighbors, we argue with the sellers. Constant stress is depressing. A person sees only gray colors, he has health problems. How to calm down and not be nervous, you ask? Below I will list simple ways fight stress.

How to stay calm before an important event?

So, in a week, an important event should happen in your life. It could be an interview or a presentation of your work. Your future career will depend on how you perform. What to do if everything falls out of your hands, at night you can’t sleep and are constantly worried? The answer is simple: it is unlikely that you will take the position that you so dream about.

If you still want to succeed, stop being afraid. You must understand that you yourself can destroy your dream. Don't be dramatic. get busy breathing exercises. During the exercise, thoughts should only be about breathing. Inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth.

Go for a walk before bed. During the walk, also try not to think about the upcoming meeting. Turn on your favorite music and enjoy.

Night sleep should be at least 7 hours. Don't eat at night.

To keep the body in excellent shape, you can take multivitamin complexes. They will help boost your immune system and strengthen your nervous system.

How to behave during an important event?

So, the long-awaited hour has come. Your future will soon be decided. You must remember that experiences are superfluous. Start the morning with a contrast shower, exercise and delicious breakfast. All these procedures will cheer you up and set you in a positive way.

Set a few alarms in the evening so you don't oversleep. Leave the house early: it is better to wait for the start than to be late for it.

Feel confident when you enter the office. People around you will notice this and treat you differently. The back should be straight, the voice well delivered. Watch your gestures, facial expressions and intonation. Do not wave your arms too much, laugh for no reason or raise your voice. Speak calmly and be calm.

Be sure to bring water with you. You may need it during the performance. Feel free to pause for a few seconds and take a sip of water. This will help calm the nervous system and refresh you.

Do not rush to answer the question quickly. Scroll it over in your head again, and then give an exact and clear answer.

More than half of our fears are taken from nowhere. That is, we ourselves invented them, believed in them and began to be afraid. According to statistics, women have more such fears. They invent various fables for themselves and willingly believe in them. Take life easier and remember that everything depends only on us!

Inga, St. Petersburg

Psychologist's comment:

The worldview of a psychologist is quite different from the philistine. Psychologists are taught not only to hear the content, but also to feel the unconscious process.

This is a very useful skill, it helps to perceive the world much more widely and not to get into trouble. Now I will try to explain with examples.

Example #1.

If a guy invites a girl to a movie, then in 90% of cases this is not at all what he has in mind. And if we honestly voiced the invisible unconscious process, then the phrase would sound something like this:

Let's go to the cinema and then have sex?

(The top phrase is what the words say, and the phrase below the line is the subtext, the true meaning of this phrase)

Let's go to the cinema?

———————————————————————————

I like you! Let's go to the movies and then have sex?

It’s bad if a girl is not trained to perceive this process, because if she goes to the cinema, then most likely the couple will part, dissatisfied with each other and the evening spent. 90% of girls are well aware that when they agree to "go to the cinema", they agree not only with watching the movie, but give hope for the further development of relations.

And they don’t go to the cinema with those with whom they are not going to deepen communication. Or they stipulate in advance that it will be “only a movie”.

Let's go to!

———————————————————————————

I like you too. First, let's go to the cinema, and then we'll see.

Example #2.

When a gopnik on the street says: “Hey, kid, come here, you need to talk,” he doesn’t need to talk, but to take away the money from the kid. If the kid really believes that he is only called to “talk”, he is not ready for the realities of life and will be dissatisfied with what happens next. It's good and right to teach guys that "talk" in some situations means a completely different thing.

I wanna talk to you

———————————————————————————

I want to take your money

I brought the most simple examples. They are obvious to an adult, but not to a teenager. As we grow older, we gain experience, and those processes that we did not recognize in youth seem obvious to us in adulthood. And then we say to ourselves: how much I did not understand before!

Our life is permeated with such processes that we do not voice. Psychologists say that we convey 7% of information in words, and the rest is in what we do not voice. Let's look at this article from the point of view of a psychologist and see what new understanding will open up to us.

In this article, the feeling of fear and irritation is perceived as something harmful and interfering. No doubt, these feelings are very unpleasant and even painful. But my deep conviction is that their pain comes from the fact that we do not know how to handle them. We simply do not know how to deal with our fear and irritability.

Psychologists do not perceive feelings as enemies: we believe that any feeling is necessary and necessary because it has a useful purpose. Useful for us.

Fear and anxiety

A useful purpose of fear and anxiety is to warn of danger. Fear is necessary for us to recognize the danger and take action. He will be with us until the danger passes or until we learn how to take measures to prevent this danger.

Fear pushes us forward, makes us react, and not sit back. And in this sense, it is very useful. Our task is to consult with him, not to get rid of him.

Another thing is that fear should not paralyze us, it should not control us, as in the example:

In a week, an important event should happen in your life. It could be an interview or a presentation of your work. Your future career will depend on how you perform. What to do if everything falls out of your hands, at night you can’t sleep and are constantly worried? The answer is simple - it is unlikely that you will take the position you so dream of. If you still want to succeed, stop being afraid. You must understand that you yourself can destroy your dream.

In this position, to advise to stop being afraid is the same as to advise a mouse to become a hedgehog so that the fox does not eat it. Unfortunately, such advice does not work, because it is not feasible. We can't take it like that and stop feeling. Such recommendations were ingeniously played up in the popular video "Stopit!" ("Stop it!"):

I repeat, fear will be with a person until he realizes what the danger is and takes action.

To take this example, how can action be taken? First you need to understand that part of the anxiety (healthy part = rational fear) is caused by an important event in a week, and most (irrational fear = neurotic fear) is the result of some internal process and does not apply to the present.
For example, this person has been afraid of disappointing his mother since childhood, or he was punished for deuces at school. That is, 99% of the fear of an interview refers to childhood, to an invisible process inside, and not to an interview at all. Childhood has passed, but fear has remained, and by inertia affects a person’s life:

I'm afraid of an interview

———————————————————————————

I'm afraid to disappoint my mother

And such a person will not be able to “stop being afraid”, no matter how they convince him. He understands everything, but he cannot, because the fear of his mother (dad, teacher) still sits in his head. If people could do this, then the psychologist would say at the consultation:

- Stop that! Stop being afraid now! Don't you realize that your career depends on this job interview!? Get up and sleep right now!

Thank God psychologists don't work like that.))

There are several hundred directions in psychology. And they have different ways dealing with fears. However, most of them have one thing in common: they work not only with content, but also with unconscious process.

One option is for the psychologist to help the client become aware of this process and take action - there, in the unconscious. Then half of the fears that the client has in life resolve themselves.

Irritation and anger

Irritation and anger signal us about obstacles. And they will be with us until the obstacle is overcome, until it prevents us from achieving our goals.

Let's take this advice:

Write a letter. When a lot of problems have piled up, nerves are at the limit. Take a pen and a sheet of paper. Write down everything that you don't like and that makes you uncomfortable. After that, the letter can be torn into small pieces or simply burned. Looking at the flame, believe that all problems are burning up like this sheet of paper.

If you have ever tried to use it, then you know that problems do not fly away from this. Only the person himself flies away - we are distracted, and for some time we can disconnect from problems. And when we return, all the problems pile up again. And so, the irritation reappears.

The psychologist notices not only the stated problem - irritation, but also the unconscious process (which is easy to realize) - "I can't cope."

I'm annoyed that problems have piled up

———————————————————————————

I accumulate problems and do not know how to solve them in time

For a psychologist, the essence of the problem will not be to remove irritation, but to understand what the client is doing to make problems accumulate? The psychologist will perceive irritation as a signal, a symptom, and the reason lies a little deeper. The psychologist will perceive the client’s request to “remove irritation” in the same way as the dentist will perceive the patient’s request to relieve a toothache.

The dentist, of course, will relieve pain, but not at the expense of painkillers, but by removing the pathological process. Similarly, a psychologist, of course, will help with irritability, but not due to the fact that anger and problems will burn out in a candle flame, but due to the fact that it will help remove the cause of irritability.

1. Let's make a plan to solve your problems and see how quickly you can solve them.
2. Let's see which problem irritates the most and how to solve it as soon as possible.
3. Let's see how you accumulate problems and what prevents you from solving them on time.

Learn how you are!

As in the story with the dentist, the patient cannot fill his own tooth, so in the story with the psychologist, the client usually cannot figure out the causes of irritability himself. Indeed, we know more about how to fill a tooth than about where feelings come from.

The average person spends more time learning how to use a computer than learning how to use their own head. Therefore, ideas about the work of the psyche in our society are very naive. This means that the decisions made about how to deal with problems are also very naive.

The psychological worldview is a fascinating and very useful thing. This approach allows you to see the problem deeper - in its entirety. Do not be deceived by the size of the tip of the iceberg, but feel what is really happening. Then our decisions become deep and wise, even if they concern such simple things as fears and irritability.

Alexander Musikhin, counseling psychologist, psychotherapist, trainer, writer

A serious conversation with loved ones, a speech in front of a large crowd of people, a report to the authorities on the work done, passing an exam - these and other events often make a person “sweat”. All people are subject to excitement, regardless of training, gender and age. A purely psychological feeling is an emotional experience that clouds the mind. A person cannot think and take any action. This begs the question of how to deal with anxiety.

What causes anxiety

• low self-esteem;
• lack of confidence in their professionalism;
• weakness in the limbs, shortness of breath;
• inappropriate behavior in public (loss of self-control);
• severe stress and, as a result, prolonged depression;
• loss of appetite;
• complete deconcentration, disorientation;
• negative result in solving a specific problem.

Anxiety Control Exercises

1. When a person is worried, his breathing is stuttered, and his heart rate jumps to heaven. Try to calm down. Take a few long breaths in and out eyes closed. Try to perform the manipulations slowly and confidently at the same pace. You should not inflate your cheeks or hold your breath, the diaphragm should open completely.
2. You need to move. Run the windmill with your hands or wave them from side to side. Some public figures massage their hands when they are nervous before performing. Do the same when shaking the lower extremities (massage of the feet and calves).
3. Often, uncontrollable excitement occurs due to a large release of hormones into the blood. To bring the indicator to the optimal mark, gently pat yourself with the palm of your hand. chest. Activation of the thymus gland will allow you to calm down faster by controlling hormonal disruptions.
4. People who are very nervous before speaking behind the podium should get a small item. It is important that no one notices this thing during the speech. Touch the keychain (pen, lighter, paper clip, piece of cloth, etc.) in your hands. Thus, you will calm your thoughts and translate them into a different direction.
5. If there is an important event on the nose for which there is no time to prepare, set aside 2-5 minutes for a little trick. For a given period, rise first on your toes, then slowly lower. Then roll your shoulders clockwise and counterclockwise. Alternate limb movements.
6. When the excitement caught you by surprise right during serious negotiations, being at the table, begin to bend and unbend your toes. Try to focus on the sensations received by transferring your thoughts there. You can also squeeze your earlobes with all your might, the main thing is that your manipulation is invisible.
7. An agitated person looks constrained before a performance or other serious event. Muscles do not seem to obey, so they need to be made to work. If your legs are trembling, do 10-20 squats. In the case of hands - push up from the floor or bench. It will not be superfluous to swing the press and other physical exercises that can distract the body.

Method number 1. Get ready for the event

1. Often, excitement takes people by surprise who are poorly prepared for the upcoming event. If you have a solemn speech, report or speech coming up soon, collect the necessary materials and literally memorize them.
2. Rehearse in front of a mirror until you like yourself. Then gather friends or strangers (even better), speak to them and ask for an objective assessment.
3. Think over your image in advance, namely makeup, hairstyle, clothes, shoes. You must look 100% perfect. Do not forget to foresee incidents (torn tights, smudged mascara, bad writing pen, etc.).
4. If you are soon giving a speech in front of a wide audience and then giving answers, think in advance of the possible questions that people will ask. Your answers should be short but to the point, and your speech should be confident and professional.

Method number 2. Remember past victories

1. In most cases, anxiety comes from low self-esteem and remembering defeats in the past. However, you need to go from the other side.
2. Take a piece of paper and write down all your strengths. Do not forget to mention your victories (thesis defense with excellent marks, self-examination for rights, obtaining a prestigious position, etc.). Awareness of your own professionalism will instantly save you from excitement.
3. Analyze past situations. Surely you were also worried before, but everything went well. So it is this time. Anxiety only confuses you, preventing you from focusing on the main thing. Say to yourself: “I will succeed!”, “I am confident and strong in what I do!”.

Method number 3. Boost your self-esteem

1. Unsure of themselves and their own abilities, people often worry about anything. To get rid of emotional discomfort, you need to love yourself.
2. Boost your self-esteem with any possible ways. Sign up for gym, attend personal growth courses, overcome bad habits.
3. Enlist the support of loved ones who will objectively evaluate your behavior. With each increase in self-esteem, excitement will disappear.

Method number 4. Pause before the main speech

1. This method will help to cope with excitement in cases where hands and feet tremble before a conversation (a solemn speech, performance, etc.). Don't start talking right away, wait 10-15 seconds.
2. The specified period of time is necessary in order to "collect yourself together." If you start talking right away, your thoughts will be confused, disordered.
3. A pause will help build logical chain and relieve some of the anxiety. That way you won't forget the speech you've been preparing for so long. Control your breathing, it should be even, without jumps.

Method number 5. Don't be afraid to make a mistake

1. Often there are times when a person's hands begin to tremble for the most ridiculous reasons. On a subconscious level, all people who speak soon are afraid of making a mistake.
2. It is important to understand that the audience will not throw eggs at you if you forget a word or drop your pen. Every person is not perfect, accept this statement.
3. From now on, think differently. Keep in mind that a small mistake won't get you fired unless you directly call your boss an "asshole".
4. Throughout a serious conversation or presentation, imagine shaved lambs trying to jump up a tree. Or make up another funny fantasy for yourself.

Prepare thoroughly for the event, study psychological tricks fight anxiety. Go in for sports, believe in your own strength, increase self-esteem. Watch your breath, do not be afraid to make mistakes, remember past victories. Prepare a small thing that you can touch in your hands to normalize the psycho-emotional background.

Video: 5 effective ways to deal with anxiety

Alas, for many of us, stress has become an integral part of everyday life. Being stressed all the time is not the most pleasant way to pass the time. Moreover, long-term stress negatively affects the body, causing the development of many health problems, including asthma, heart disease and diabetes. Is there a way out in this situation? Learn to calm down! You have a day off today, or, conversely, a tense situation is in full swing, if you approach the matter correctly, you can always relax and start enjoying life. Always remember the simple rule: "Relax!"

Steps

Give yourself a day off

Set aside all your responsibilities. When you want to have a day of rest and relaxation, the main thing is to prepare in advance. It's hard to really relax and unwind when you have to focus on a work project or babysitting a screaming baby. Below is a list of things you can do ahead of time. Of course, everyone's life circumstances are different, so some of your responsibilities may not be on the list below:

• Take an extraordinary day off from work. If necessary, take vacation days. Note that in most cases management expects you to give advance notice - usually a few weeks in advance.
• If you have children, hire a nanny. Of course, children are a great happiness, but sometimes they can turn our life into a real nightmare. It's not worth the risk, otherwise it may turn out that your whole day off will be spent playing patties and changing diapers. It is better to entrust child care to a responsible nanny on this day.
• If necessary, make travel arrangements. Sometimes you just need to change the usual scenario to relax. If you want to go somewhere out of town, buy tickets or reserve a hotel for your stay in advance so that you do not have to do it in a hurry at the last moment.

1. Pamper yourself with a relaxing bath or shower. When you do decide to get out of bed (and on your rest day, you can when you want), start your day with a relaxing bath or shower. A warm bath or shower has been proven to help calm the mind, relieve muscle tension, and clear out chaotic thoughts. More importantly, the bath helps you feel good and makes it possible, at least for a while, to forget about all the problems and focus on the pleasant sensations of your body - in other words relax.

   Have a cup of coffee or tea with friends. If drinks containing caffeine make you headache or provoke nervousness, you should not include this item in the must-do list for a day of rest. If you think that a little caffeine will not hurt you, a cup of coffee with friends will help you relax and take your mind off everyday stress. In fact, according to some studies, if a person drinks coffee with people whose communication brings him joy, this has a pronounced relaxing effect on him. On the other hand, if you drink coffee alone, it may even increase your stress.

2. Give yourself the opportunity to take up a hobby that you usually don't have time for. Do you consider yourself a second Picasso? Have you been dying to pick up an old guitar and play some original songs? Today is the time to pamper yourself. A rest day is good because it gives you the opportunity to devote a lot of time to all those things that you secretly wanted to do in those long hours when they were engaged in the fulfillment of the necessary duties of life. Now you can not be afraid to spend a few hours (or even a whole day if you want) to bring joy to yourself. Here are some things you might want to do:

   • Try to do something creative. When you are in last time painting a picture, writing a song, or writing a story? If you can't remember, you might want to do something creative today and complete the project at your own pace.
   • Engage in minor repairs or home improvements. Small repairs or home improvement work can bring you a deep sense of satisfaction (and it's also a great long-term investment of time and energy, as it will lower your home maintenance costs).
   • Read a book. Real, time-tested paper books are becoming a rarity today. Nothing soothes a person like a few hours near the fireplace. spent reading your favorite book. Think about it, maybe this way of relaxation is right for you.
   • Play video games. There is nothing wrong with lounging on the couch for hours playing video games. However, if this activity is already taking up a lot of time in your daily life, it is better to consider some other hobby that you usually pay attention to much less often.

3. Try to cook a simple dish. Tasty food- that's what you just need on a day of rest. Do you want to improve your cooking skills (and save some money that you would spend in a cafe or restaurant)? Try to cook delicious and nutritious food for yourself and for your friends who can spend time with you. You can find thousands of a variety of recipes. A few minutes to search in Yandex - and you already have dozens of recipes for your favorite dish. You can also choose any dish from a wide variety of recipes on our website. .

   • If you don't like to cook, don't hesitate to reserve a table at your favorite restaurant or order food delivered to your home. Delicious food is one of the indisputable sources of pleasure for a person, do not neglect it on a day of rest!

4. Do your daily activities without haste. If you have organized a day of rest for yourself, this does not mean at all that you cannot do something useful. It will be useful to do some things that you still need to do in free time. Not only will this give you the satisfaction of doing something meaningful, it will also reduce your stress levels in the long run. After all, any obligatory task that you complete today will not hang over your soul tomorrow. Below is a list of cases you may want to consider:

   • Pay your bills
   • Send letters and packages
   • Submit your resume for positions of interest
   • Solve problems with support
   • Take care of things related to government bodies(for example, check and pay fines to the traffic police).

5. Watch a movie. Watching movies is the most peaceful and relaxing way to have fun (unless, of course, you choose to watch a horror or thriller movie). Sit back on the couch next to your loved one or invite friends over. A few soothing hours spent watching long-time favorite films or new cinema will be the perfect end to a day of relaxation.

   • If you have the opportunity, you can even have a movie night with friends. You can choose movies with a specific theme (such as art house) or choose movies at random. The choice is yours!
   • If your budget allows, you can enjoy watching movies on big screen going to the cinema with friends. If all your friends are busy that day, you can go to the movies alone, although not everyone likes to watch movies alone. If you don't want to overspend, try finding early morning shows with inexpensive tickets.

6. Spend the evening in public (or at home!) Some people enjoy ending their day of rest on fun party in a nightclub, while others prefer to stay at home and go to bed earlier. You and only you decide what will be the perfect end to your day of relaxation!

   • You shouldn't think. that you simply have to go somewhere to have fun in the evening, even if you don’t feel like it. Your friends aren't going anywhere until tomorrow if you decide to skip one evening at the club and go to bed early.
   • Conversely, if you have the opportunity, go with friends to night club and have fun from the heart, like in the good old days. Of course, you should not go on a spree if you have a responsible event planned for the next day. If you return home late from a party, the next day you are unlikely to have the strength for labor exploits.

7. If you're old enough, a little alcohol is even welcome (especially if you're smart about it). Face it, work and day-to-day responsibilities can be stressful for anyone. Sometimes we just need to relax a little with the help of alcohol. There is nothing to worry about, especially if you know the measure. For example, if you drink one or two glasses of wine with friends at the end of a hard day, it is unlikely to harm you in any way. According to some reports, moderate use alcoholic beverages(for example, a small bottle of beer daily) is actually even good for human health.

   • However, do not forget that excessive alcohol consumption will only increase stress. Not to mention the consequences of excessive alcohol consumption such as hangovers, nausea, and other unpleasant physiological symptoms, loss of control due to a large dose of alcohol can lead to bad decisions that ruin your life for a long time (and can even land you in jail).

8. Find a constructive way to release your overwhelming energy. There is good way cope with suppressed stress - direct it in another direction, where excess energy and tension will help to do something useful. For example, feelings of anger and anger will make it much easier to complete a long, intense workout (and most importantly, exercise is a good way to reduce your stress levels and improve your mood; you will find more information on this below). Another good way is to sublimate stress energy into creative activity such as writing stories or playing a musical instrument.

   • In our example with unexpected job on weekends, it would be constructive behavior to head to the gym after work instead of going straight home. This would make it possible to derive health benefits from anger. You could run around, make several approaches to the bar, and if you are very angry, you can beat the punching bag from the heart.

9. Try meditation. While this advice may seem frivolous and newfangled to some, the ability to meditate has been proven to help many people cope with stress, in other words, relax. There is no universal "correct" way to meditate. In general, in order to begin meditation, you need to get out of a tense environment, close your eyes, breathe slowly and focus on getting rid of annoying, anxiety-producing thoughts. Some people need to take complex poses of yoga gymnastics for meditation, others mentally imagine certain images or pictures, others repeat aloud simple words or mantras. There are people who walk in circles during meditation!

   • If you need more detailed information on this issue (including detailed instructions how you can free your mind from annoying thoughts), you can find many excellent articles about meditation on our website.

10. First of all, make a plan of action and stick to it. All of the above techniques can be extremely useful if used wisely. However, if you want stress relief to bring you a sense of satisfaction and benefit, you need to try. deal with it. The temptation to run away from stress at work, school, or home is certainly strong, but the fastest way to get rid of stress is to fight it. In addition, the satisfaction of a job well done will help reduce stress on for a long time, even if at first you have to work hard to achieve the goal.

    • In our example, it would be optimal to try to complete the task as quickly as possible, for example, on Friday evening or Saturday morning. Then you will still have a lot of free time to implement all your plans for the weekend. When you arrive at work on Monday, it's a good idea to talk to your boss about how best to organize your work so that you don't have to deal with this kind of work in the future.
    • Don't leave work to the last minute. Putting off work now will only add to your stress, especially if you have work to complete by a certain deadline. If you do the work right away, you can then sincerely enjoy the rest. Otherwise, you will constantly worry about the fact that you still have to do the work postponed for later.

• Change your posture: Studies have shown that lying down is much easier to relax than standing up.
• Some people advocate the idea of ​​"refreshing sleep", arguing that short daytime sleep lasting 15-20 minutes is a great way to relax and rejuvenate during a busy day. However, other people say that they find it difficult to fully wake up after a short nap break.
• Here are some more ideas to help you calm down:
  • Look for rain or clouds.
  • Have someone read a book to you until you fall asleep.
  • Wash off with cold water.
  • Draw with pencils or paints. And don't worry about what kind of drawing you end up with.
• If your nervousness and excitement increase after a cup of tea or coffee, try replacing them with decaffeinated alternatives. Caffeine use can be stressful for some people, especially if they begin to develop addiction to the substance.

Warnings

• Rest can greatly enhance your ability to creative activity(of course, if you don't go to the other extreme and start being lazy). If you sleep, relax, or dream about something, it will help replenish your creative reserves. The next time you're feeling creative block, take an hour off work and you'll feel refreshed.
• Do not let the desire to relax and unwind distract you from serious matters (for example, from work). If you're in the midst of a major project, it's best to take short breaks of 10-15 minutes every hour. If you are doing small tasks, make sure you complete the next one before resting.

Once I was very worried because before every serious event, performance, I was so nervous that I either flunked everything, or I forgot something, I would not say it in such a tone, I would not present it so brightly. People worry before a meeting, when applying for a job, when a loved one does not answer, etc. You can’t list all the situations. However, there are universal methods for restoring balance.

When a person is nervous, misses important events worrying about the little things. At this time he has:

• reduced mental activity, ability to focus;
• cognitive deterioration (which makes you even more nervous - a vicious circle);
• loss of control over the situation;
• performance decreases, fatigue increases, fatigue sets in.

Work on life plan, . This allows you to pay attention to important events, and not worry about every trifle. Constantly remind yourself of the main goals and plans. Carry the list with you.

Reasons for concern

First of all, you need to explain the causes of anxiety, sort them out point by point. Determine not only the situation and your own, but also internal factors. For example, the excitement public speaking- a consequence of poor preparation or fear of being ridiculed, shyness, ignorance of the topic.

The nervous state, as a rule, is accompanied by anxiety and. This is the body's natural response to a threat. It remains to be seen whether the threat is real. In the case of the previous example, think about what happens if you make a mistake or someone doesn't accept your presentation. Is it so dangerous and important for life?

But the anxiety before flying on an airplane is fully justified. The potential threat always exists. But in this case, nothing depends on you, so you just need to accept all possible options.

So, identify specific emotions and feelings, the cause of anxiety, its object. Determine the influence of external and internal factors, your participation in the situation.

What to do

No need to deny and repeat "I am calm." Accept, face the fact nervous tension. After acceptance and analysis, proceed to active actions:

1. Inhale and exhale. Popular, simple and really effective advice. relieve tension, restore blood flow and hormonal background. Inhale deeply, hold your breath and exhale slowly. Concentrate on your breath. Body and mind are one. When you feel control over your breath, it will be easier to gain control over your thoughts. Try the five-three technique. Inhale for five counts, hold for three counts, exhale for five counts, and hold for three counts. So ten times. Breathe with your belly: inhale as you inflate, as you exhale, retract. Concentrate on the count and the movements of the abdomen, so you will be distracted from disturbing thoughts. Monitor your well-being. Respiratory techniques are prohibited for colds, respiratory diseases.
2. Think pleasant. Remember the most delicious product that you ate, the most melodious music, the most beautiful picture, the most tender embrace. Think back to a situation of success. They happen to anyone, it's just that people sometimes forget about it. Bring back your positive attitude and self-confidence.
3. Nervous tension is. Calms the rise in blood glucose. To do this, eat something sweet or drink coffee. A quick burst of glucose will restore energy and physical forces body, filled with hormones of joy. You can’t systematically seize stress, but in some situations a chocolate bar is a medicine.
4. Tapping your fingers on the table, walking from corner to corner, swaying on your toes are the body's subconscious attempts to calm down. But what if you come up with the same thing, but more conscious and useful? Find an interesting but monotonous activity: someone embroiders, someone solves crossword puzzles or washes dishes. Come up with your own ways different cases: at home, at work, on the street.
5. The previous method is not suitable for everyone. If he didn’t help you, then try, on the contrary, to be active: push up, run, jump, wave your arms, stomp your feet, swear. At the moment of stress, internal resources are mobilized. There is an energy that needs to be released. Those languor that we experience - and there is unspent power. Release her. Under stress, physical forces are mobilized, thought processes fade into the background. Calm the body to bring back the mind.
6. Control the mind through the body. Forbid yourself to fiddle with clothes, slouch, look under your feet. Straighten your back, speak loudly and confidently, look straight ahead, demonstrate confidence and calmness.
7. Devalue the situation. Will it matter in a month, a year? Does it affect your health, success, well-being? But stress and anxiety have a huge impact on health. Recall something disturbing from the past right now. Does it matter now? If there had been a different outcome then, would that have significantly changed the current state of affairs? Were you able to clearly remember what you were worried about?
8. Keep an anxiety diary. Describe your experiences and observe which of them came true. You will be surprised how much time and effort you spend on inventing. Better get busy, fantasy is useful there.
9. Strengthen the nervous system. What you need for this: healthy sleep, good nutrition, regular physical exercise, taking vitamins, hobbies, favorite work, meditation or yoga.
10. Read D. Carnegie's book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.

Make it a rule to draw your fears and worries. It is not necessary to have the relevant skills. Depict your fear (as it turns out), look at it, get to know each other, accept it. Now draw a funny hat or yourself next to it in the form of a knight. Perhaps your fear will take the form of a specific person. Or yourself. Why not?

Sometimes the causes of anxiety lie very deep, in childhood. Once rejected, a person is afraid of this all his life, and therefore often worries and worries. To eliminate, visit a psychotherapist, as in this case, advice on will not help.

Nervousness as a personality trait

Psychology knows many type qualifications. According to one of them (author Heymans - Le Senn), there is a nervous type. It is characterized by emotional low activity and primacy. Such a person:

• reacts violently to any little things, takes everything to heart;
• thinks long before acting;
• easily gives in to emotions, but just as quickly forgets about them (mood instability).

The nervous type lives on desires and impressions. He does not like boredom and monotony. If this is your case, then advice with monotonous actions will not work. On the contrary, it is necessary to find numerous sources of different emotions. Main feature with which to fight is suspicion.

The author of another classification, Karl Leonhard, singled out. He is characterized by uncertainty in his own actions, distrust of himself, suspiciousness, timidity, indecision, fear of mistakes, an overly expressed sense of responsibility, self-criticism.