Sometimes on life path there are people who you want to bypass. You can try to avoid meeting this person altogether, but it is not always possible to completely avoid communicating with him. There are several ways to shut yourself off from people you don't want to talk to, such as surrounding yourself with nice people or avoiding certain situations.

Steps

Learn to feel comfortable around people

  1. Maintain a positive attitude. Sometimes there is no desire to talk to this or that person, and therefore his company makes you uncomfortable. Take a deep breath and tell yourself that you are a wonderful person to talk to. And be sure to remind yourself that you have the right to privacy, and expressing feelings that help you feel at ease is completely normal.

    • Focus on what you want right now and what makes you happy. Then try to find people who share your position. Don't try to avoid those who exude negativity, but instead try to surround yourself with people who are like you and who you feel comfortable around.
    • Thoughts affect not only mood, but also actions. Smile and take a moment to tell yourself that you are exactly where you should be.
    • A positive attitude will help attract other friendly people.

  2. Participate in activities that you enjoy. Communication in any place and at any time will not always give you pleasure, but if you do what you love, then those people with whom it will be pleasant to communicate will surely appear near you.

    • V school years you can join a group or circle according to personal interests. It doesn't matter if you are an introvert or an extrovert, there are a lot of extracurricular electives for all personality types. You can find an occupation and a company of people with common interests anywhere, as in theatrical performances and athletics.
    • In addition to the fact that what you love will give you confidence and connect with like-minded people, it will also allow you to do something useful and avoid situations and personalities that you prefer not to face.

  3. Enjoy the fruits of this life experience. You should not worry too much about the fate of other people and how this may affect you, but rather just enjoy life. It is not your fault that the person is aggressive or deliberately tries to upset you.

    • Often people throw out their dissatisfaction on others because of their own insecurities.
    • Direct your energy to enjoy the fruits of your labor, because it is easier to isolate yourself from unpleasant personalities. You simply will not have a free minute to sort things out with a person who is unpleasant to you.

  4. Spend time with friends. Whether it's a social environment, school or work, you will feel much more comfortable being surrounded by like-minded people.

    • Enlist the support of friends if you often find yourself in situations where you have to be among unpleasant people or individuals you don't want to talk to.
    • Tell your friends about the person you are bored with. Calmly explain why and ask friends to provide a safe barrier if this person gets close to you.

    Deal with the person you dislike

    1. Be respectful. Keep yourself within the bounds of decency if you are faced with a person with whom you do not want to communicate due to his ignorance or if you are connected by a certain story. An exchange of a few words will be enough if you behave correctly and do not allow the other person to provoke you into counter-rudeness.

      • It is not always possible to completely isolate oneself from a person with whom one does not want to talk. However, communication can be kept to a minimum by showing courtesy and indifference on your face.
      • Stop and take a deep breath. Focus on your needs. Your goal is to end this interaction as soon as possible.
      • Walk away from the conversation politely. You should not be like the interlocutor. Remain calm and say that you need to meet a friend or that it's time to run to a meeting. This way you can get out of the situation with dignity.

    2. Define the boundaries of what is permissible in advance. You do not have to constantly explain to the person you want to avoid communicating with why he should not cross the line, but you need to determine the scope of what is permissible. In the future, you must strictly follow these rules.

      • Limitations are both emotional and physical. You have the right to privacy. Therefore, it is necessary to explain in an accessible way that this is very important for you.
      • Whether it's a co-worker, classmate, or ex-partner, be clear about how and when you're ready to interact with them. Despite the complexity, don't be afraid to be straightforward.
      • If the person has previously violated the boundaries of your personal space, then the next time you meet, just tell him not to come so close. In addition, at the very beginning of the conversation, you can immediately focus on the fact that you have very little time. Or let us know that you prefer to communicate via SMS or e-mail.

    3. Ignore the person. Chances are, you are not the only one who longs to get rid of his intrusive attention. Pay attention to how other people interact with him. If you have already tried all tactful methods, and none of them worked, then you just have to ignore the person. Ask the team for help in finding the best solutions to this problem.

      • Sometimes relationships don't work well. For example, this can happen to a former partner or even a co-worker. Just ignore this person if you have tried to distance yourself, but they have failed.
      • Complete disregard does not apply to yourself easy way, especially if a person is persistent, but the firmness of the decision made will gradually lead to the desired result.
      • To declare a boycott does not mean making fun of a person, making a displeased face in his presence, or making obscene gestures. It just assumes that the person is not around at all. However, do not pretend that he is not in literally... It is necessary to be above the current situation and to avoid spending time together and staying in one place.

    Protect yourself from the person completely / completely

    1. Avoid situations in which there is a possibility of human contact. Sometimes you need to make changes in your life in order to distance yourself from a person with whom you do not want to communicate. You should not go to a party or meeting if you are aware of his presence there.

      • Do not use this method if you are in a situation that cannot be avoided, such as at school or at work. In this case, refuse to attend special events in order to avoid meeting with this or that person.
      • Tell your friend ahead of time that you will not be attending the event. Be honest with your friend when explaining why, but don't do it in a rude manner.
      • When you spot a person with whom you want to avoid contact or meeting, consider changing your location. For example, while relaxing in a bar or at a party, you can move to another room so as not to stumble upon an unpleasant person.

    2. Ask for help. If you really want to avoid meeting a certain person, but it is difficult to do it alone, then ask other people to help you. Ask a friend, parent, boss, or class teacher for help.

      • You should discuss the problem with an authority figure who can help with the situation, such as your boss or school counselor, if you cannot isolate yourself from the person because you are in the same class or work together.
      • Calmly explain why you are not able to be in this person's company. Perhaps his presence interferes with the work due to the constant feeling of discomfort. Or you cannot focus on the topic of the lesson, because this person constantly pesters you. Tell your boss exactly why it is necessary to take you out of the process of interacting with this person.

    3. Cut off all connections. If possible, put it all in your face and end the relationship in one fell swoop. You can simply cut off all ties if you are pestered by a former partner, whom you no longer want to see and hear, or a person from a company of mutual friends.

      • Set boundaries and don't apologize. Your own health and emotional peace should come first. Despite the difficulty, tell this person that you no longer intend to continue any communication with him.
      • Stick to the chosen line of conduct. Some will not just leave you alone, but you did everything right when you stated your intentions. After that, do not enter into dialogue.
      • It will be the right decision to directly communicate that you no longer want to talk to the person and see him. Sometimes words come through much faster if you are straightforward and a little harsh. At first, there is a feeling of anger, but try to carry out your plans and remember that this will be better for your well-being.
    • You don't have to look straight in the eyes, but speak politely and make it clear that your mood is not your best.
    • Change your route and habits to avoid the person.
    • Calmly explain to the person that you cannot speak at the moment.
    • Show respect if approached. However, set limits beforehand.
    • If the person is angry with you, take a step back as slowly as possible (in the literal sense of the word), think carefully about the next words / actions, and determine the necessary course of action in the current situation.

A person cannot live without communication - as they say, we are social beings.

And in such an important area of ​​our life, we are faced with problems that prevent us from satisfying the need for communication, and often we get more negative from the process. If you look at it, then modern society and the world around us create such conditions in which people do not have the opportunity to communicate with each other in a quality manner.

Communication Is the interaction of people, a two-way process that includes the exchange of information, joint activities and mutual influence. Communication means establishing and maintaining contact between people. Our whole life consists of the process of communication with those around us - from family members to a casual passer-by who asked what time it was. And we do not always get pleasure from it. And sometimes it is so exhausting that a person consciously isolates himself from others psychologically.

How does the modern world affect communication between people?

1) In the modern world decreases cognitive value the process of direct communication between people. At our disposal great amount sources of information about the outside world - the media, the Internet. And often we know better the details of the life of famous, but strangers to us, than what is in the head of a loved one. Instead of talking with those who are near us, we read-watch-listen about events that have nothing to do with us. This leads to indifference, we forget how to understand and empathize. You can't really empathize with all the poor and unfortunate in the world!

2) Also, think about modern children. Remember how they like to listen to the stories of their elders, how many questions they ask, etc. This is how children learned about the world before. Now they listen to TV and bombard Yandex and Google with questions. In this way the person's personality and experience is devalued- close, real - in the process of communicating with the outside world from childhood. And when the child grows up, he will again prefer a computer to a man.

3) The modern world is a variety of social roles that we have to play. Most of them require stereotyped behavior - if you are a parent, you have to educate, the boss - give orders, the godfather - give birthday gifts, a friend - listen to problems and help in solving them, the wife - take care of her husband and children ... relationships with people are becoming more formal, they lack spontaneity, sincerity, soulfulness. Communication also becomes formal.

4) B modern society the process of exchanging information between people most often has the goal of influencing each other. It starts at home, at school, continues in the office, shop and during political campaigns, and ends with interracial and ethnic feuds of strangers. We all try use each other for their own purposes- make us think and do what we want.

5) Communication on social networks allows us to keep abreast of what is happening with our friends - most often just “friends”. What is the percentage of VKontakte "friends" or classmates with whom you really communicate - write private messages, for example, and see you regularly in real life? Virtual communication gives us an invaluable opportunity to stay in touch with those who live far away from us and easily meet new people, but also easy and break any contact... Because of this, the value of such connections decreases in our perception. Easy Come Easy Go.

A plus, virtual communication very conducive to "wearing masks". Where else, if not here, you can imagine yourself as anyone who you are not really. You are just an image, just like your interlocutors on the other side of the monitor.

6) Distortion of communication goals. Why do people communicate? To boast of oneself and condemn others, to pass the time, to distract from their problems, not to be alone. Communication becomes entertainment or a means for our other purposes, while spiritual interpersonal communication is a goal in itself.

What does a person want to get from the process of interpersonal communication? What should it be to be enjoyable? From all of the above, it is clear that formal, selfish and superficial communication is enough for all of us with our heads. But for a full-fledged one there is not enough time and energy. Interpersonal communication is a kind of emotional, intellectual and physical interaction two or more people, which happens by mutual desire, is equally important for both at the level of need, the exchange of information in the process is beneficial and enjoyable, is open and sincere.

We are all looking for a friend, a teacher - a person with whom we can be ourselves, be open, not afraid to be rejected. Communication with a person at a deep level allows you to expand your worldview, deepen your perception, know yourself, feel the fullness of life. But, forced to constantly maintain empty, superficial relations, in pursuit of the image, busy with the satisfaction of material needs, we trust people less and less, we strive less and less for truly close, open communication.

So, the main problems of modern communication are a decrease in the value of a person's personality - an object of communication - in the process of exchanging information and cognizing the world, as well as the prevalence of the formal type of communication and distortion of communication goals.

And here the answer to the question slowly looms "Why don't people want to communicate?"

They get tired of indifference, hypocrisy, "masks", nothing meaningful words and attention, empty talk, they get tired of being used, being "vests", they do not want someone else's psychological garbage to be "poured" onto them, change their beliefs and teach them how to live.

And if you suddenly realized that they do not want to communicate with you, think - maybe you are doing just that?

Once upon a time there was a man. Not too outgoing. In the morning, he was terrified by the mere thought that he needed to go to the office and talk to people. In the evenings, he wanted to be alone as soon as possible, so he turned down all offers of colleagues to dine together. And on weekends, when his friends "had fun" in noisy clubs, he sat at home and read books.

If you think this story is about you, then you are a real introvert. Do not worry. Are you okay. But you need to learn to live with pleasure, not waste energy, and succeed in this noisy world where most people are obsessed with communication.

Introvert in the world of extroverts

Some people cannot live without communication and new experiences. For them, there is no worse punishment than being alone for a long time. They need constant stimulation from the outside to feel energized and refreshed. After a busy day at work, they will prefer to go to a fun, noisy party, rather than spend the evening at home with a book in their hands. They make acquaintances easily, make decisions quickly and take action almost immediately. These are typical extroverts. And they are the majority in our world.

Today, many believe that this is the only behavior that can lead to success and recognition. Extroverted qualities are really very important in many different areas, for example, in business, where the emphasis is on teamwork, or in sales. Usually sociable people are perceived as more friendly, confident and helpful to the business. Sometimes it seems that in modern world there is simply no place for introverts.


Does this mean something is wrong with quiet, thoughtful, privacy-loving introverts? And do they have to break themselves to adapt to the demands of our crazy world? Of course not. If the planet was inhabited only by extroverts, we would not have a law universal gravitation Sir Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein's theory of relativity, Frederic Chopin's nocturnes, George Orwell's 1984, Schindler's List by Steven Spielberg, Google Sergey Brin and Larry Page, Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling, Sunflowers by Vincent van Gogh.

It's time for all of us to get rid of our bias towards introversion.

Don't confuse introversion with shyness: extroverts sometimes have this quality too. A shy person is afraid to make a bad impression on others, but he may also want to communicate more. An introvert is simply tired and exhausted by an excess of external stimuli - vanity, noise, chatter.


The main difference between an extrovert and an introvert is what gives each of them strength and what takes them away. An introvert draws energy from himself. In order to be cheerful and balanced, he needs full access to his thoughts, feelings and sensations. And the extrovert is literally charged by the outside world. He is just happy if there are a lot of people around and life is raging around.

For all their prejudices, introverts can be just as confident, friendly, curious, and successful as extroverts. They just need a lot more silence, peace and solitude.

Choose what suits you

Accept yourself for who you are. Stop feeling guilty about declining a dinner invitation in favor of reading a good book. If you enjoy dining in a restaurant all alone, then don't hesitate. And, of course, it's okay if you prefer serious, meaningful conversations with your best friend to noisy parties.

Spend free time the way you like it, not the way you think you need to do it. Stay home on New Year if it makes you happy. Skip meaningless meetings. Cross the street to avoid idle chatter with random acquaintances.

For an introvert, as for any person, relationships are important, but quality, not quantity, should be looked for in them. A narrow circle of friends is enough to be happy. Cherish loved ones, take care of them. Work with colleagues whom you treat with sympathy and respect. Look for those you like among the new acquaintances. And don't force yourself to communicate with everyone else.


Try to find interesting, inspiring work where your strengths: perseverance, deep reflection, concentration, discernment and sensitivity. While extroverts tend to dominate the public arena, introverts are more likely to succeed in theoretical and aesthetic endeavors. In many areas (such as art or science), it is impossible to achieve serious results without solitude.

Ideal for an introvert -. But if you have to work in a team, consider how to minimize the noise and fuss that distracts you from important tasks. Maybe you will agree with your superiors about personal account and take on projects that do not require team work.

When to wear an extrovert mask

A significant part of our personality is determined by genes, the brain, nervous system... However, we are able to adapt to environment and to a certain extent expand the boundaries of their capabilities.

No introvert can become an extrovert. At the same time, almost everyone is able to learn how to maintain small talk, speak in public, contact strangers behave calmly and naturally during meetings.

Some introverts manage to hide their true self for years. Of course, this should not be done. In many cases, it's best to stay in your comfort zone after all. However, sometimes circumstances force us to adapt to the world of extroverts. When there are no other options, you can pretend to be a little more active and outgoing. But only for a while.


You don't have to wear an extrovert mask to meet someone's expectations. But you can wear it briefly for key personal projects - for the work you think is truly important, for the people you love, or anything you value highly. The main thing is to apply this method within reasonable limits and not forget about your true needs.

If you are doing something that is not typical for you, for the sake of one of the key personal projects, you do not need to suppress your character too persistently or for too long. In order not to burn out, try to create “recuperation niches” in your Everyday life... This can be the place you go to be yourself (for example, the nearest park), or a period of time (for example, a short break between business calls).

Make an agreement with extroverts

It's not uncommon for introverts to marry or befriend extroverts. In such a union, it can be difficult for people to understand each other's needs: one person wants to have a party, and the second wants to spend time together; one wants to get out somewhere on the weekend, and the second is quite satisfied with a cozy sofa, a favorite book and family board games.

There is no point in arguing which vacation option is better. It's just that what works for an introvert can be tedious and boring for an extrovert. And vice versa. The only way peaceful coexistence - to conclude an agreement under which everyone will receive what he needs.


For example, you might agree to go out half the time and stay at home half the time. The agreement also applies in the case when you come to your best friend for a bachelorette party, and she is sympathetic to your absence for three days on the eve of the wedding.

Be sure to discuss these rules with loved ones who are prone to extroversion in order to protect them and yourself from conflicts, ridiculous resentments and misunderstandings in the future.

Make an agreement with yourself

In some situations, it is useful to come to an agreement with yourself. For example, if you live alone, but want to find a loved one, you will have to force yourself to attend public events. It makes sense to decide in advance how often you can go out - once a week, month, or quarter. Once the quota is met, you have the right to stay at home with no remorse.

Or, let's say you dream of starting your own company and working from home. In this case, you need to spend some time building a business relationship. Sign such an agreement with yourself: once a week you will attend an event and make one useful acquaintance. On other days, you can relax and live as you like.

How to Raise an Introvert Child

If your child prefers solitude and his own fantasies to noisy games with peers, then your introvert is definitely growing up. And, of course, you must help him cope with the rumbling outside world.

Do not try to fill all the child's free time with some kind of additional activities and do not force him to communicate with those who are unpleasant to him. It is already difficult for him to get through the school day. Do not mind if he wants to retire in his room or leave his birthday a little earlier than other children.

Explain to your introverted child why he gets stressed when he is in a noisy company for a long time. Let him know that his feelings are quite natural. Together, think about how often and when to go out with friends. Develop and discuss strategies to help you stay calm and energized throughout the day.

At school, introverts constantly find themselves in uncomfortable situations for themselves, so they cannot fully demonstrate their abilities. Be understanding and start spending more time. independent work Houses. Or consider transferring your child to family education.


In most cases, introverts have one or two serious hobbies (such as drawing, constructing, or writing stories) that are not always shared by their peers. Praise your child for doing their hobbies, encourage and help find like-minded people. He will benefit from some participation in teamwork... However, this work should take place in small groups (two to three people).

Do your best for the child to acquire necessary skills communication, learned to perceive new situations and new people more calmly, but otherwise, let him remain himself and in no case try to rid him of introversion. Rejoice in his original thinking. Take pride in the strength of his mind and loyalty to his friends. And sincerely praise him when he succeeds in his hobbies.

P.S. Do you want to become the best version yourself, live a life full of meaning and get good discounts on best books MYTH? Subscribe to our newsletter ... Every week we select the most useful excerpts from books, tips and life hacks - and send them to you. The first letter contains a gift.

Is there anything to be upset about?

It all depends on several factors:

1. Whether you know each other or are you just attacking a social media star in order to find friendship with this person - in this case, this can be regarded as harassment.

Let's skip this point right away, because otherwise the situation can hardly be called sane.

2. You knew each other, and fate separated you on opposite sides of the barricades, but none of you did anything bad to each other. He is still attracted to a person, but, alas, he is not.

3. You were familiar and someone did something nasty to someone.

In any case, there is no need to make a tragedy out of it. One thing always helps - to understand that a person does not need you. Not needed and that's it. So why go deep into suffering and try to distract yourself, as you say, from thoughts about this person? If he doesn't need you, then why should you need him?

Most people cannot come to terms with the loss of a friend and goes through all the memories associated with him in their head. And always, for some reason, these are extremely positive memories, accompanied by exclamations:

1. Oh, how am I without him / her!

2. How come I will miss him / her very much

Not so long ago, exactly the same event happened in my life: the person simply stopped communicating with me, he didn't want to. And they opened my eyes after some time, advising me to remember not the good that we had, but the bad that this man did to me. And you know, immediately some kind of disgust appeared to the situation as a whole, that all the experiences instantly disappeared.

Of course, relationships between people do not always develop in such a way that there is something bad in them. In this case, we go back to the beginning - the person has lost interest in you. And I will not say now a word from the "Understand. Forgive" program: "Maybe the problem is in you?"

The problem is not with you if the person has not justified their departure., and if you did justify it, then nothing prevents you from changing your attitude towards people around you.

It is worth making new acquaintances that will become much more interesting and useful than those with whom you had to part, because not everything in this world is eternal.

And you once lived quite well without this person, right?

You will be surprised at the answer, but in order to stop getting upset, you need to defeat your selfishness. After all, you would not want anyone to bore you - respect yourself in this example and transfer this respect to a loved one. Do not torment or torment. In the end, each person finds someone who does not get bored with him and who does not bore him. And of course, you can change yourself within reasonable limits - if you yourself define some of your qualities as "in need of correction" :)

Good luck to you.

Moving helped me. And with the move and new acquaintances.

And so I was killed by one person for 3 years. Divine for 3 years, you can go crazy.

Neither books nor music helped me.

I just completely changed my social circle, and yes, my worldview also changed a little.

Of course, I still remember her and everything connected with her. But, alas, the past cannot be returned.

It is only necessary to be ill, but in practice it is very difficult for such a "disease" to proceed.

Can you ask a person directly what does not suit him? why did he decide that he is no longer interested in communicating with you, is not necessary?

If you are ready and willing, you can promise the person that you will change, you will not do the things that made him decide to interrupt the communication. And there it is already up to him - he will give you such a chance or not)

In any case, try to let the person go. Remember how you lived without him, what did you do, with whom did you communicate? Understand for yourself that life on this person has not turned into a wedge. And most importantly, turn on your self-esteem. You are good, interesting. And he doesn't want to communicate. Maybe the reason is that he doesn't appreciate it. Find someone who appreciates you.

It's not that easy!

One very important and necessary person did not want to communicate with me. He said that I was not of his level: not so beautiful, not so smart and interesting, not provided for. Yes, I know I'm not in my best shape. But, in my opinion it is very cruel! Can't you be a little kinder?

This man first told me pleasant words, supported, but when he got to know me better he said that he didn’t need me! It hurt me a lot, because he is one of the few who awakened in me a thirst for life. I was depressed, I wanted to commit suicide, and then he came and everything bloomed around.

I would try to change something, to become better, and at first he gave me chances, and then he just got tired of it. Now he just lives his life and he no longer cares about me. And I think about him constantly and really miss our communication. I feel very bad without him (((And he doesn't even guess. He doesn't know how much means to me.

And I don't know how to get it back. But I would do everything for this if it were possible. This man is my world.

Do you think you can let him know how much he means to you? Because you need to talk about it. Try to say it at least once. If there is no feedback well, you did the best you could. But a person should not guess, he should know about it. And preferably directly from you. You know, I now have one similar relationship in my life. That is, for some time the person and I communicated very well, but then (I sincerely don’t even guess why this happened) the communication came to naught quite abruptly, and now we just keep silent about each other. Moreover, the person is really dear to me, and further down the list, but since a similar situation is periodically repeated and the initiator of the conversation and communication in general is usually me, I had to make a difficult decision - to let go of this situation and stop imposing. Although, as it seemed to me before, everything was, in principle, mutual. But, as they say, there are usually ten steps between people, and if you do all 10 yourself alone it will not lead to anything good. However, hope dies last and I hope for the best) and don't be discouraged. Life is like that, you never know what will turn out what.

Hello, my name is Mira, I am 21 years old.
V Lately I increasingly fall into a state where I do not want to see or hear anyone. And it is not at all a burden to me, on the contrary, I feel safe - as if in a cocoon. I can sit in my room all day, minding my own business or thinking about something of my own. I do not want to meet with friends or call them, answer their messages and letters. When someone calls me, I do not pick up the phone or ask the household to say that I am not there. And the point is not that it is unpleasant for me to communicate with someone, it just seems so difficult and impracticable, I do not even know how to explain this feeling. As if, in order to talk to someone, you need to overcome yourself and throw all your strength, all your will on it. On the other hand, a sense of guilt gnaws at me for ignoring my friends and loved ones, and this makes it even harder.
I rarely talk to my family members either, and sometimes they annoy me with their mere presence. I don't want to go out either, because there are people there, there are a lot of them and they also annoy with their vanity. Every time going out somewhere is a real torture for me. I often so want to get on uninhabited island and stay there forever!
I'm an introvert by nature and I'm pretty withdrawn and uncommunicative person, but even for me, this state is probably not normal.
Can you please tell me what to do with this?

Psychologists' Answers

Hello Mira.

You described your feelings, actions, thoughts very clearly and in detail.

It can be clearly seen how you sit at home, refuse calls, communicate with household members, with friends and family ...

Sit all day in the room and go about your business and reflections (The question arises - what kind of business and what are reflections about? And will they benefit you - from material to mental, spiritual) ...

What to do about it?

You can do nothing if it suits you ...

(does all this suit friends and relatives - so you can lose them all ...)

This condition is normal - for some periods.

Constantly?

Where is that uninhabited island on which you can live?

Since you asked the question - what to do with it? - therefore, it does not bring you great joy either?

Then you can do a lot with it.

In my opinion, you have not described anything like that - and perhaps this is symptomatic - which makes you want to hide in a cocoon of loneliness from external influences - from phone calls, communication with friends.

In my opinion, you are experiencing a contradiction between feelings of guilt in relation to your social role and her responsibilities, and internal needs to be with herself. It seems to me that you do not fully understand what is so unpleasant and sick in the outside world that it is annoying. You feel your weakness - but so vaguely - "real torture", "annoyed by their presence", but what is this Weakness about? Unclear.

I am glad that you understand that external fixture to internal discomfort, the problem of a productive, eventful life cannot be solved. But what to do with the fact that you don't know what is going on? You don’t know and I don’t understand. It is clear that the reasons are not clear to you. But common place similar experiences. It is clear that something needs to be done - but what? If you run, then from what? If it strives, then to what?

If talking to professionals, then perhaps the pros would say: She is experiencing a classic existential crisis of loneliness, self-determination and choice of path. I would nod, but there would still be emptiness inside - perhaps as a parallel with your unrequited emptiness - Well, I know what is bad, and what to do?

In such cases, either a very wise and close person from the environment, or a trip to a sufficiently wise and experienced person who would not be dismissed by a couple common phrases, but really took part in a dialogue with the aim of finding reasons, determining the future, looking for an answer to the questions - Why Me? Who am I?

The problem with states like yours is that a person becomes a little stupid, cannot simply answer current questions. And here you need a person "who to think about." Because, as the saying goes, with whom you will lead from that and you will gain. And if you break contacts, who are you hanging out with? What are you typing?

Here is such a difficult answer to your not simple letter.

Sincerely, Victor.

Good answer 15 Bad answer 5

Hello Mira! There is probably a reason for your condition. Would you like to find it yourself? If you wrote a letter on this site, then something is bothering you. Of course, you can sit at home and not communicate with anyone, but let's imagine what will happen, say, in 5 years with you? Will you still be home? One? And the family? Your own? Children for example? If you want to find the reasons for your condition, please contact. Sincerely Olesya

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Hello World! By all the signs that you described, you are depressed. Depression is a disorder. to be taken seriously. Here you can take a free online depression test http://www.infamed.com/psy/alt21_1.html

Severe depression requires the help of a psychologist, medication support, and sometimes hospitalization for a while.

With an average severity of depression, consultations with a psychologist are required, sometimes also medication support. There is no need to be afraid of antidepressants, modern drugs are not addictive, provided that all dosages and doctor's recommendations are followed.

In the case of mild depression, the help of a psychologist is very effective, the only thing you need to be patient is at least 10 consultations. the psychologist will help you deal with the causes of depression and good mood will return, the world will regain its bright colors, and communication with friends will begin to bring joy.

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Hello Mira!

The answer to the question. what you do with it depends on what you want. In general, whatever you want in life. If you want absolute safety and tranquility, then continue to live as you live. But absolute safety, as a rule, is where there is little life and movement, because life and movement are always a priori dangerous. But not total (otherwise we would all have died out long ago), but completely controllable, if only you take responsibility to control it. In the meantime, you avoid all control over your life by simply hiding from it. And this is your right. Just keep in mind that the years go by, life goes by, and you will not have another chance to live (live) your youth. You can make any choice, just understand the consequences. And if they straighten you, then this choice will be deliberate, and you will not regret it later. And by choosing life, you will face different risks (any relationship is always a risk), but these risks can be managed by developing in the field of building relationships with people. And this is work, and sometimes not easy. But he is rewarded with a bright, happy, meaningful life among people. You have a choice, and I would suggest that you seriously reflect on it. All the best, Elena.

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