Bullying is aggressive behavior towards a person, manifested in violence, harassment, persecution, terror. We can say that this is a kind of psychological brutal beating of a person, while less radical actions such as gossip, name-calling, cruel jokes do not belong to this type of violence and are called mobbing. Bullying is unconscious aggression with repeated acts of violence, isolated cases of quarrels or ignoring cannot be attributed to this phenomenon. But bullying includes episodes of regular physical beating or activities that can lead to suicide or cause it to attempt.

Among adolescents, bullying, harassment and harassment are increasingly common, according to statistics, about 45% of children were subjected to such attacks, and 20% regularly engage in such destructive influences themselves. Initially, bullying involves an inequality of forces - physical, psychological or numerical, which provides a sharp emotional reaction on the part of the victim and the inability to resist. Usually the aggressor is stronger precisely in the place where the victim has a weak point - singles are poisoned in groups, the physically weak are offended by the strong and hardy, the mentally unstable are bullied by psychological leaders and gray cardinals. The repetition of violence causes a feeling of hopelessness and gradually forms the position of the victim, when a person is no longer able to resist.

School bullying manifests itself with primary school when high school students arrange hazing and take away pocket money, lunches, toys, phones and so on from kids. With age, physical manifestations practically disappear by secondary school, completely giving way to psychological terror - gossip, humiliating treatment and insulting jokes are used, the total boycott and ignoring are especially hard to endure by the victims.

The mechanism of occurrence of such behavior is characteristic. Bullying always starts with one person who, in this way, is trying to strengthen his authority, increase self-esteem, or simply attract the attention of a group. At the first stages, society can be divided into those who support such a line of behavior, are indifferent, and those who condemn and condemn the aggressor. Over time, the situation changes if the victims of bullying do not resist what is happening and allow the continuation of ridicule. At best, defenders lose all interest and behave indifferently, but more often they accumulate irritation regarding the submissive position of the victim.

What is bullying

Bullying as a social phenomenon occurs in those communities where the personality is depreciated, and the need for recognition, acceptance and understanding is significant. In such unbearable conditions for the individual, it first develops, eventually changing to aggression, as an unconscious attempt at resistance. If a person is brought up and is in an environment where the value of human dignity is always higher than compliance with formal rules and there are no directive unreasonable prohibitions, the probability of becoming a bully or a victim tends to zero.

In addition to the environment, there are a number of personality traits that contribute to becoming a victim. Thus, people who do not fit into the concept of the norm, who stand out from the rest, are more often attacked, and it does not matter in which direction the type of strangeness (clothes, behavior, talents, tastes, voice timbre, etc.) Victims often become new members of the team who do not seek to adapt to generally accepted behavior - initiative, friendliness, helping everyone around can become reasons for aggression if they are not norms in a new society.

Hypersensitivity attracts tyrants and moral sadists, since it is easy to offend such a person and you can get a very vivid emotional reaction. Also, the victim can be created artificially, thanks to the influence of authorities. This happens when an elder (teacher, leader) deliberately humiliates and insults a person in the presence of a team. The motivation of the superior may be purely personal, but the psychology of the groups is such that over time, the rest of the members pick up the allowed behavior model, having no complaints about the victim.

It is more likely that attacks, even in a new place, will be subjected to those who have been subjected to them before. Most victims are bullied not only at school, but also at home, usually violence is habitual for them, and they can provoke others, since caring attitude causes a lot of anxiety. The inability to respond to offenders, the desire to take a passive position, the lack of one's own opinion, or vice versa, a sharp confrontation with the group (lack of participation in common games or activities) can provoke aggressors.

Bullying victims are impossible without bullies - rapists, offenders, aggressors. In order for these qualities to begin to manifest themselves, there are also certain prerequisites.

The first and most important reason lies in the most early childhood and family characteristics. With a lack of parental attention and love, bordering on indifference, the concepts of prohibitions and authorities, respectful attitude and building organic relationships are unknown. Such a situation causes a lot of internal protest, pain, and then aggression, as the driving force for change. It is impossible to direct this stream of claims to parents, therefore they are looking for someone weaker. Such children seek power at least in some part of their lives, and bullying also gives power over the lives and moods of others. This is a peculiar way of obtaining evidence of their superiority and importance, driven by psychological trauma and narcissistic personality traits.

Bullers are characterized by polar thinking and the division of the world into black and white, just like the people in it are either with them or against them. There are frequent negative reviews about others and thoroughness in choosing contacts, and the criterion will be how much a person is worthy of the attention of the aggressor, as the highest and most significant. But, despite the peremptory nature, all the aggressors are afraid of defeat, because in the event a lot is at stake - for this they choose not the one who is objectively weaker, but the one who cannot answer.

The consequences of bullying cannot be ignored, and they affect all participants in the process. The most famous cases are when the victim commits suicide, which is caused by the inability to find a way out of the situation and the inability to endure bullying. Another way to escape from the horrific reality is alcohol and drugs, which the victim can start using to relieve psycho-emotional stress. In addition, regular absenteeism, a decrease in intellectual and mnestic indicators, and work productivity are possible. Neurological disorders, problems with sleep and appetite may appear, psychological problems requiring specialist intervention.

Victims have increased anxiety and, sometimes, reaching clinical cases, regulated by medication. There are violations in interpersonal relationships, desire for loneliness, inability to compete in the profession. This leads to limited contacts and the choice of areas of activity outside the team. In addition, bullying contributes to psychosomatic disorders, heart disorders, and nutritional problems.

For aggressors, bullying also has many negative consequences. The most frequent is social unfulfillment, since the chosen ways to achieve the result do not work in adulthood. Difficulties in communication are associated with universal hatred - in the family they are tyrants, in a career success is achieved by any means, which does not contribute to the formation warm relationship. Tyranny can lead to personality disorders of the pathological spectrum.

Bullying at school

School bullying has a gradation of severity and manifestations. The most serious, noticeable and leading not only psychological disorders is physical bullying. Under him, the victim is regularly subjected to physical violence, beatings, self-mutilation. Examples of this may be the habitual pulling of pigtails or pushing in the corridor, and there may be extremely cruel manifestations, such as breaking fingers, cutting, burning skin, and so on.

Behavioral bullying can take a passive form, which includes ignoring a person, boycott, isolation from public life team. The active form includes blackmail, extortion (usually money, telephones), the spread of gossip and the deliberate creation of negative conditions (spoiling or stealing things, closing them in closets or dark rooms).

The easiest option is verbal bullying, which manifests itself in insults, ridicule, humiliation, and possibly curses. With the development of technology, a new concept of cyberbullying has appeared, when bullying occurs on the network, where insulting or threatening letters can be sent to the victim, as well as uploading photos and videos (real or edited) designed to humiliate a person’s dignity.

There are two primary causes of school bullying: the parental family and teachers. Models of behavior adopted between parents, their feedback on others, ways of resolving conflicts are absorbed by children and subsequently reproduced at school. The degree of satisfaction of the personal needs of the child also influences. Multiple complexes, lack of attention and love can lead to bullying. This applies to both the formation of the behavior of victims and aggressors - parental scripts can teach to hide and suffer or resist and manipulate. The presence of psychological trauma can cause a child to harm others by drawing attention to himself or to submit to bullying, considering it the norm.

The provocation of bullying by teachers is due to their professional burnout, low level qualifications or lack of personal maturity. It is the teacher who can start or stop bullying. So, if there are insults to students in front of the whole class, humiliating comparisons, punishments that are inadequate to misconduct, the use of physical aggression, then over time, students adopt such a line of behavior. The teacher can independently create future victims not only with verbal comments, but also with facial expressions or a carelessly thrown notebook. Inventing nicknames for students, as well as ignoring aggressive manifestations, allow a single act of psychological aggression to develop into bullying, thanks to the teacher.

Regardless of the reasons, school bullying includes several actors- the aggressors, the victim and the observer. The latter may include teachers who ignore what is happening, and children who do not want to get into the place of the victim, and parents who do not believe in this. At the initial stages, there are those who resist and defend the rights of the victim, but since the results are minimal and there is no activity from the victim himself, such carers soon go into the shadows or join the bullies. Only if the defenders are emotionally, morally, physically or in status superior to the offender, then bullying at school stops at the first incident, if it is dealt with. So, if the teacher reacts sharply and harshly to such manifestations, then the likelihood of repetition is excluded. Impunity, in turn, entails the spread of harassment to other students.

How to stop child bullying

If repeated episodes of bullying occur, the child should turn to the elders - parents, teachers, elder brothers or friends. It is often impossible to resolve the situation, because the aggressor does not hear the arguments and does not respond to comments. It is important to ask for help only those people with whom you have developed a good relationship, since a formal remark from a forced teacher can only aggravate the situation.

For teachers, the main rule is the absence of indifference and the position of an observer - no need to give freedom to children to find solutions. Each buller needs spectators, and the more of them, the stronger his authority is strengthened, if teachers are also included in this process, then the offender becomes invincible. It is impossible to show one's physical strength, it is necessary to bring the aggressor into dialogue and an open, confidential discussion of the situation.

Attention must be paid immediately, upon the completion of an act, and for this you can stop the process of the lesson. It is important to transfer the offender's attention to tasks and learning new material, and not to focus on the prohibition, and even more so, without using humiliating statements (for example, "don't touch him, he's already defective").

Parents need to create a safe space at home where the child can be himself, not be afraid of censure and ridicule, which will contribute to the timely reporting of problems at school. Parents need patience and endurance to wait for frankness and stop their first emotional reaction, which can be difficult for a baby to understand. It is optimal to share your own cases from life, successful examples of overcoming such situations. Perhaps simply admitting that the abuser is wrong will be enough for the victim to figure out how to resist further bullying. The child may ask you to intervene, then it is better to discuss with him options for talking with the aggressor, his parents, teachers, or all together.

If the parents find out that the abuser is their child, then punishment should not be used, as this will only strengthen his model where force rules reality. In addition, punishment can further alienate parents and the child, which cannot be allowed if his behavior is caused by a lack of love and acceptance. You should organize a frank conversation, understand the reasons that led to this situation, and then organize a dialogue with all participants in the events. If the parents can make up for the lack of warmth and love for the child, then he will be able to sincerely apologize to those whom he offended, often even then becoming his defender.

Bullying prevention

It is important to ensure as quickly as possible the situation and external conditions that prevent the occurrence of bullying. In the family, it is necessary to pay enough attention and teach the child peaceful interaction. It is also important to instill sensitivity to the acceptable format of address and root inner strength in self-defense.

The school system needs to reorient its values ​​from learning to the personality of each student. The psychological climate in the classroom, the mutual assistance of students play important role in the prevention of bullying. Team building, holding class hours with the basics of psychology and training social communication contribute to the personal development and strengthening of the position of each child.

Films, series, books and games, where various ways interactions of people, and the degree of aggression is somewhat overestimated (especially in action and battles). Information from games, where after the tenth hit against the wall, a person gets up unharmed, and from films based on black humor, greatly deforms the idea of ​​reality. It is impossible to prohibit or limit contact with such products, but you can show the real side of things, for example, by signing up for a box, where the child will feel real pain and be able to appreciate the strength.

In all spheres of a child's life, it is necessary to separate him from stress factors as soon as possible: violence in the family and school, an unhealthy team, deprivation of the leading needs of the individual, as well as the first manifestations of bullying. It is important to track the deformations of the psyche after the experienced bullying and provide timely psychological help such people. Those who have been bullied develop certain psychological features and deviations that can spoil not only their personal lives, but also provoke the emergence of violence in the new team where they get.

Children need to be taught the rules of resisting violence, developing special trainings or exercises for this. Adults can share stories from their own lives, you can watch movies. the main task– provide a large flow of information and examples about respectful attitudes and ways to confront violence.

Signs of a victim compared to a bully

(based on research conducted in Anglo-Saxon countries)

Innenministerium Baden-Württemberg u.a. (Hrsg.): Herausforderung Gewalt aus pädagogischer Sicht. Stuttgart 1999, S. 26.

Victims bullers
personality traits
Fearfulness, awkwardness, low self-esteem or feelings of inferiority, physical weakness; likes to be at home and enjoys good family relationships; shyness, lack of sociability, difficulties in communication, when attacked, reacts with a cry, ... ALTHOUGH ANY PERSON CAN BECOME A VICTIMISE IN CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES (ACTIVE, CAPABLE OF PROTECTING YOURSELF, ETC.) Aggressive towards their parents, teachers, brothers, sisters, peers; believes in his strength; is popular with the opposite sex ("macho"); shows independence, considers himself "cool" and is more popular than the victim; believes that the victim deserved punishment; practically does not feel shame and guilt; not prone to empathy; a good sense of humor, a good "orator", lies confidently, has artistry, he himself believes in what he says.
Family
overly guarded; depends on the family, close ties with the family, but also has more family problems than those who are not bullied. Lack of family supervision; insufficient cordial and empathic relationship between the family and the bully; inconsistent exercise of control and attempts to instill discipline on the part of the family; punishments in case of misconduct are sometimes too strong, sometimes they are absent at all; there are much more problems in the family than those who are not subject to bullying.
Physical factors
Physically weak, unable to defend himself; not enough energy, younger and smaller than a buller; not attractive enough... Strong and strong physique; sports; good at sports; energetic and active; slightly sensitive to pain; older and stronger than the victim; outwardly attractive.

How does the victim of bullying feel?

The main problem of the victim is that her self-consciousness is constantly under pressure. This can result in an inferiority complex.

At first, the victim feels a little insecure, but gradually begins to doubt his strengths, capabilities and abilities more and more, and he is also afraid of being in an unpleasant situation. it always seems to the victim that the guys, the household constantly want to humiliate her, and also show her uselessness and uselessness.

A person begins to fear that if he were not like that, then the guys would treat him differently. There is also a fear that if you move to another school, then this will not happen again. The victim believes that she will not be able to do anything well. The immediate implication of all this is that the victim begins to see himself as a bad person and also recognizes that those who put him down are, in fact, right.

Such thoughts have a very strong effect on self-consciousness, self-awareness and self-esteem of a person. So, talking with a person who feels that the whole world is against him, you can notice his unfriendliness, alertness, unfriendly behavior, constant fear and manifestation of aggression.

Usually classmates do not like such a person, they constantly turn away from him, the desire to communicate with him disappears. Yes, and he makes a bad impression.

This kind of problem is typical for many victims of bullying, as the victim is constantly in stressful situation. a person feels insecure, he expects dirty tricks from everyone, everyone is an enemy and an offender for him. in order to protect himself from attacks and rudeness, a person himself begins to be rude.

The victim of bullying does not expect understanding and friendliness. Their behavior is the result of such an attitude towards them. Only if this is understood, then it is possible to try to find a common language with such people. However, this is very difficult.

Provocative features of the victim. This category includes a rather heterogeneous group of children who have certain personality traits. The presence of these features can act as an annoying factor for the majority of conditionally tolerant peers.

Actually here we are talking about the phenomenon of "otherness" in children's groups. An “unusual” way of speaking, an “unusual” laughter of a child, “unusual” humor from the point of view of “ordinary” schoolchildren can be a sufficient reason to treat “these unusual” negatively. As a provoking factor for the onset of the manifestation of bullying, there may be the careless behavior of such children, which does not carry malicious intent. So, a hyperactive child can accidentally hurt a "calm" classmate. In such groups, there is an overwhelming majority of adolescents with an accentuation of character, children who have cognitive and behavioral disorders of residual organic origin, neurotic children and children with disorders of the schizoid circle.

Stigmatization are racial and physical features child. Physical features include not only physical abnormalities such as cleft palate or sensorineural hearing loss, but also certain phenotypic features. As an example, we can note the unusual timbre of the voice, the red hair color, the shape of the auricles. For children, such features can act as an incentive for bullying.

The victim can be helped if:

  • Together with other students, make a list of statements that clearly express opposition to bullying and post this list in the classroom (or throughout the school).
  • IN role play act out the situations of bullying that have taken place and practice to behave in them calmly, but confidently.
  • Teach the victim, while looking in the mirror, calmly and confidently say "no" or "leave me alone." Thus, the bully, looking for signs of weakness in the victim, receives a decisive rebuff.
  • Help him learn to walk with an upright, radiant confidence, instead of slouching, looking around fearfully, etc. When the buller seeks and chooses his prey, body language has great importance. The victim sends non-verbal signals to the buller, telling him: "I am weak and cannot protect myself."
  • Using humor: It is very difficult to harass a person who does not want to take this bullying seriously.
  • Recommend, if possible, to be in a group of other children or in the vicinity of a patronizing high school student.
  • Assure him that he, as a victim of bullying, is not to blame for it.
  • Making it clear to a child who has become a victim of bullying that they love him. Very often, these children do not believe that they are able to please someone.
  • Helping to get rid of bad habits that contributed to bullying (for example, the habit of picking your nose, snitching, throwing other children's things off the desk, etc.).
  • Support their strengths. You can, for example, give such a student some kind of assignment in the class (for example, to maintain the operation of a video projector), which he would do well in order to increase his self-respect and recognition from other children.

(Vgl. Siegrun Boiger / Jens Müller-Kent: Mobbing in der Grundschule).

Bully, bully, rude, fighter, rapist. All these words are the meanings of one English bully, from which the concept of "bullying" came from. It denotes intimidation, moral and physical terror, the main purpose of which is to cause fear in another person and thus his submission. Once upon a time, it was just a mundane, everyday phenomenon. Today it has acquired a social, psychological character and has become an international term for psychologists, educators and other people involved in solving this kind of problems.

Social bullying: what is it, its types

Acts of aggression threatening, insults of various kinds - all this is referred to as bullying. The phenomenon is widespread and is a serious problem that requires careful consideration. Conditionally bullying contains the following components:

  • negative, even aggressive behavior;
  • regularity;
  • different degrees of power in the victim and the aggressor, whose behavior is intentional.

There are two types of bullying: direct and indirect. The first type refers to any kind of physical aggression, and the second - to social. Psychologists are studying such a phenomenon as bullying, what it is and how to recognize it in its infancy, in order to find ways to solve this social problem and prevent it from becoming even larger. They came to the conclusion that each age group, showing the features of bullying, has its own characteristics. This is due to puberty, belonging, age and other psychological patterns.

Children's environment

Most often bullies are children of school age. They do not realize that they are committing bullying, that this is an action that can greatly affect the future life of all participants in this process. Although adult groups often sin with this phenomenon. There is always a power imbalance behind bullying, giving one child the ability to dominate another. This pressure is continuous. Acts of physical or verbal aggression take on a chronic character and are directed at the same victims. Victim/aggressor relations are stable, where bullying is on one pole, and victimization is on the other. This specificity is especially relevant for middle school age. Educators have long focused on the problem called bullying. What is this phenomenon that does not bypass even the lower grades! The same children fall under the aggression. When moving from junior to high school bullying weakens a little or simply changes its forms of manifestation.

Motivation for aggression

In order for bullying (at school, too) to be motivated, it is enough to generate such feelings as envy, hostility, a desire for revenge or, conversely, justice, a thirst for power, self-affirmation, a sense of leadership, etc. Moreover, when such motives as self-affirmation are manifested , it can even come to sadism.

How bullying manifests itself and what forms it takes

The forms that aggression takes in the school environment are as follows:

  • systematic ridicule, the causes of which are completely different;
  • extortion;
  • humiliation of a psychological or physical nature;
  • bullying;
  • boycott, ignoring;
  • damage to personal belongings, etc.

Bullies who practice school bullying are very inventive in causing harm. Today comes to the fore new form- cyberbullying. Modern technologies have untied the hands of attackers, which, unfortunately, often include teenagers.

Forms of humiliation can manifest themselves actively and in the form of conscious isolation.

Bullying related manifestations

Activities such as mobbing and bullying cover a wide range of human activities. Moreover, these processes have always taken place, since ancient times. For the Russian environment, such manifestations in collectives are known more as hazing. Modern titles came to us relatively recently. This is the influence of Western culture. Mobbing comes from the word mob (crowd) and refers to the psychological collective persecution of one person or even a group of people.

For the Russian environment, all actions related to mobbing and bullying are simply called: persecution, harassment, harassment, harassment. In addition to these words, there is a long-forgotten Greek - "ostracism".

Aggressive forms of student behavior

The actions of schoolchildren, which can be interpreted as a manifestation and causes of bullying, are divided according to behavioral characteristics into the following:


The victim is faced with such types of collective behavior, necessarily controlled by the leader, such as whispering, writing in public places, distributing notes, sidelong glances ... The outcast can be extorted money, valuables, forced to steal or other negative actions. His personal belongings are spoiled, hidden, soiled, etc.

Not only students can become victims of bullying. Even teachers can get under severe pressure!

Forms of behavior of adult aggressors

As a rule, adults in the school environment can indirectly provoke bullying. This manifests itself in different forms humiliation of a student who, for whatever reason, does not fit into the framework of an adult. It can be sarcasm, intimidation in the form of gestures and expressions.

The consequences of bullying for the victim

First of all, any aggressive actions towards a person lead him to a state of stress. Teenage bullying is especially dangerous, because at this age, hormonal changes in the body are already a kind of stress. If we add to it also pressure from the outside, especially with particular cruelty, then the psyche of the victim may not be able to withstand it. Then the consequences are unpredictable and can be very sad.

Most often, the victim avoids the aggressors, rarely resists, and even less often - pretends to be "dead", that is, as if "freezes". The body of a person in this state works for increased production of adrenaline, the rest is at a minimum. The body blocks the processes of digestion, the heart rate increases, the train of thought slows down, the work of the immune system is disrupted ...

Consequences of aggression for bully

The aggressor causes irreparable harm to the victim. But the bully itself suffers from negative consequences. The soul of such children is damaged, and the mind is clouded. If in adult life such bulls are visited by repentance, then they admit that their conscience torments them and does not give rest for their actions. They are very ashamed, and they would do a lot to never commit such acts.

Unfortunately, most of the bully hooligans in adulthood are associated with crime. A significant part of them is under criminal record. Life is skewed, one way or another - this is a deviation from the normal and harmonious development of the individual. Therefore, educators and psychologists are ringing the bell, calling on everyone to revise values, reform the system and look for solutions to such a global problem as bullying.

Consequences for passive participants of bullying - eyewitnesses

All those who passively watch mobbing or bullying from the sidelines, and these are school "comrades", technicians, teachers, parents of classmates, while not interfering, they also fall under the influence of violence. They are characterized by a feeling of fear, helplessness, guilt due to inaction and passive participation in this villainy. Such thoughts are unlikely to make the psyche healthy. The heart is forced to harden, otherwise it is difficult for it to withstand the voice of conscience, which is constantly drowned out. Then the victim for eyewitnesses appears in a different light, as if she herself is to blame, she deserved this. Accordingly, the atmosphere in the school is tense, and the process of eradicating bullying becomes impossible.

There is an opinion that the victim can help himself by changing his behavior and attitude to what is happening. But these people do not understand that such a statement is false! After the psychological stress that violent actions generate, it is extremely difficult to cope with the problem even for a person who is ready to attack.

What is the prevention of school bullying for different categories of students

The pattern of such phenomena is that children change with age. What is interesting is that junior schoolchildren bullies themselves do not cause sympathy. However, when they become teenagers, children with antisocial behavior become popular among them. If you dig even deeper, then in the street environment, such boys, bullies, who can behave defiantly and openly aggressively, become leaders and are perceived by the crowd as "cool" guys. These leaders have more friends than other students and, accordingly, greater success in girls. In such situations, bullying has every chance to develop into a group, then it becomes extremely difficult to resist it.

In the light of the above, there is an urgent need for such activities as the prevention of bullying in schools in order to reduce the level of aggression among adolescents and prevent crime. Particular attention should be paid to the rapidly developing cyberbullying, which is mostly played by boys. It is necessary to teach children to trust parents, teachers and not be afraid to talk about the problem, if any. Girls who have suffered from a cyberbully are usually more likely to tell adults about it. Boys are shy and hide their feelings from unpleasant situations.

Even relatively harmless, according to superficial estimates, school bullying cannot but have psychological consequences.

Although there is no universally accepted strategy for combating bullying, positive results in prevention different kind there is violence among schoolchildren. Adults, of course, should respond to everything with positive interest, warmth and involvement on their part. Sanctions must be consistent, not punitive, without physical pressure. But, of course, this is not enough. It is necessary to develop a system of values ​​that will educate a person with a core! Do not forget the main thing: children are delicate plants that need constant watering. If you treat them kindly, with understanding and patience, then the sprouts of goodness will surely sprout. And a person with a soft heart does not want to offend another!

The public is now very concerned about bullying in schools, kindergartens and maternity hospitals. But in fact, bullying is not only children's entertainment. This will be confirmed by anyone who had the good fortune to visit a rigid hierarchical team: prison, army, monastery or advertising department.


For example, in adult groups they rarely spit chewed paper or rub chewing gum into their hair (although anything can happen), but being a victim of bullying there is no more fun than at school. Why is bullying such an important part of human culture and how to deal with it?

The nature of bullying


If we take, for example, a box with kittens or an aviary with puppies, we will quickly see that bullying is not a human invention at all. Animal cubs in their moments of leisure non-stop amuse themselves by gnawing each other's tails, hitting each other with their paws in the muzzle and jokingly biting, sometimes being too carried away. Animals thus learn important social functions: they run in the models of "attacking the enemy", "defending the territory", "pursuing prey". Own brothers and sisters are great trainers for such exercises, especially since everything is pretend: the claws are retracted, the jaws are relaxed.


But in parallel, in such a half-joking fuss, a hierarchical pyramid arises: it becomes clear to everyone who is stronger, bolder or more resilient here, with whom it is better not to mess with, and who can be pushed off the bowl without ceremony. In adult animals, such fights are more violent, but when they occur among members of the same group, it is still almost always just an imitation, which, however, makes it possible to fairly accurately distribute roles in the pack.

In human society, everything looks about the same. We use reduced or simulated violence where we do not intend to use real. To express displeasure to a colleague, it is not necessary to boil him in hot resin - it is enough to shake his fist at him as a joke. Instead of scalping the enemy, we give him the nickname "red horseradish from the sixth floor" and are quite satisfied with what we have achieved. Why cut your opponent's throat when spitting in his soup is enough?

Bullying lives and thrives even in groups where formal violence is excluded - for example, in the offices of large corporations. IN developed countries they try to fight it, but the laws and regulations that regulate it often look even more stupid and disgusting than the bullying itself. What is worth, for example, a ban on any nicknames and abbreviated forms of names, on any comments about the appearance and clothing of employees, on any physical contact, except for handshakes in negotiations, etc.

Bullying or bullying


No one says such horrible, offensive things to each other as some best friends do. Friendly jokes, jokes, practical jokes, brawls and other wonderful things that make the friendship of men (especially young ones) so rich and diverse are a common phenomenon in various cultures. If someone thinks that such relationships are the lot of representatives of wild tribes or semi-primitive guys from the working outskirts, then he can read, for example, Wodehouse's stories about the entertainment of young English aristocrats who could not sleep without putting Lord Wu's bosom friend a couple of tritons under the pillow. One can also recall the description of the drinking bouts of Chinese syutsai - young scientists who, tired of reading treatises, smeared each other with soot and arranged complex nightmarish jokes with the participation of demons, spirits and copper cauldrons suspended in the dark, about which a frightened friend should bang his head at the end of the event. Such relationships were called in the Pushkin era by the French word "amikoshonstvo" - "friendly piggy", which piggy meant familiarity and extreme simplicity in communication, reaching mutual insults under the guise of light chatter.

Such forms of friendly bullying are an important element of male culture. In this way, we test friends for stamina, for a loyal attitude towards us, for readiness for informal contacts, and so on and so forth. But a good friend always knows the limits of our personal patience and, having crossed them, asks for forgiveness (not always in words, really, but oh well).

True bullying is not backed up by either friendly feelings or the offender’s readiness to get back: it is always aggression, even if innocent at first glance.

Bullying methods

Verbal

Nicknames, threats, obscenities, insulting remarks, harsh criticism often for no reason, whistles, laughter, and that farting sound that some virtuosos can make with their lips and tongue without spitting on their chin - this is all verbal bullying. Some psychologists and lawyers also refer to bullying as conversations that can hurt the feelings of those who might accidentally hear these conversations. For example, discussion of girls' articles in a strip club may be regarded by the court as bullying of female employees. This was the case, for example, in the case of Svetlana Lokhova against the London branch of the investment bank Sberbank CIB, when in 2012 an employee sued the bank for more than three million pounds for chronic verbal bullying and gender discrimination.

Physical

This is not necessarily a beating on the head with a briefcase or spanking on the back of the employees' uniform skirts. Under physical bullying, lawyers are ready to understand any unwanted touches - for example, twirling the buttons on the interlocutor's jacket, smoothing his hair, patting on the shoulder or friendly pushing with a colleague's head clamped under the arm as a greeting. Bullers usually do not understand what claims can be against them: they were just joking, warming up, imitating a fight! The victim of bullying, on the other hand, usually reports that she felt rumpled, disheveled, and humiliated by such treatment. In addition, physical bullying includes damaging the victim's belongings, including eating her lunch from a public refrigerator.

Ignoring

School boycotts or prison bans on communicating with the "lowered" - all this applies to this form of bullying. In less harsh conditions, bullies usually show deafness and simply do not hear the words of the victim addressed to them, and in addition, they interfere with her communication in the team - for example, spreading nasty rumors about her or directly approaching her at corporate parties and rallies and taking her interlocutors away from her under various suggestions. It may seem that this is some kind of too feminine method of bullying, but in fact, the representatives of the stronger sex also sin with it all the time.

Private

If children's groups usually bully in chorus, choosing a victim for themselves and harassing them with the whole class or group, then in adults, independent individuals, personal bullying is extremely common. Having disliked someone, the buller methodically and systematically spoils the victim's life in small ways and in a big way, without involving outsiders in the process, so that the victim's indignation often looks like paranoia. “Yes, you did! Vasily is a normal man, why would he add salt to your coffee? And your project was really weak, Vasily just said what he thinks ... ”However, among adults, group bullying is also no exception, especially if they belong to the following type.

Organized from above

An authoritarian leader who is accustomed to leading according to the “divide and rule” method can often turn out to be a bully of the highest standard. As a result, an atmosphere of falsehood, denunciations, favorites and outcasts, total injustice and undeclared wars. Such bosses usually always have one or two employees on whom he sets the rest of his colleagues, thus turning the unfortunate victims into some kind of lightning rods of public discontent. These employees are always to blame for everything, their successes are ridiculous, their ideas are nightmarish, because of them the team lost their bonuses, fuck them! Especially often this type of bullying happens in closed institutions such as monasteries, prisons or military bases, from where the victim cannot escape. But this type can also be found in much more respectable places, such as universities, theaters, museums.

Snakes or crocodiles?


Men and women relate to bullying very differently, and this difference manifests itself already by the age of 12-13, according to sociologists (for example: Vishnevskaya V.I., Butovskaya M.L. The phenomenon of school bullying: aggressors and victims in Russian school// Ethnographer. review. 2010. No. 2). Girls are less likely to experience bouts of anger and aggression. In addition, they generally have a negative attitude towards all but the mildest forms of friendly bullying. In communication with friends, most girls are extremely ceremonial and friendly, joking and teasing between friends is much less aggressive, physical contacts practically exclude any form of struggle. Nevertheless, it is not worth considering that women are such special angels who never, ever poison the weak or stand out too much. They just play differently. Their verbal bullying mostly consists of passing on gossip and slander, and of all bullying methods they prefer ignoring. Moreover, according to a number of sociopsychologists and business psychologists, bullying is much more common in women's teams than in men's, especially when it comes to the "organized from above" type, in which the boss pursues objectionable hands, and even more so with the tongues of her faithful favorites.

How to behave if you are a victim of bullying


It is best not to become a victim of bullying from the very first day in the team. Which is not so easy, since the choice of the victim is often quite random. That is, people with striking behavioral patterns are more at risk of attracting the unwanted attention of aggressors, but still the situation in the team itself and the will of chance are also important factors. This will be readily confirmed by the parents of the children who solved the problems of the victim child by simply changing the school: the bullying usually stopped in the new place. And vice versa: successful man, a favorite of the team, accustomed to general sympathy, may well turn into an outcast and a loser in a new place.

Don't be aggressive, don't get upset and don't appeal to your conscience

The emotions of the victim are the favorite treat of the aggressor, and it does not matter if they are expressed in complaints, resentment or rage. The more active you react, the more interesting it is to poke you with a stick. Ignoring jokes and petty mischief often solves the problem on its own. If, having found a fart pillow on your chair, you start throwing thunder and lightning and carry the aforementioned object to the board of directors with a demand to sort it out, then you can turn into a favorite target of bullying for the whole company. If, with a shrug, say: “Well, very funny!” - the prankster will feel that the trick has failed. And you can laugh, examine the pillow and admit that the thing is worth it. Such behavior is likely to evoke sympathy from both the team and the offender, but there is some risk of falling into the trap of the next point.

Don't be a joke

If a person likes to laugh at himself and willingly invites those who wish to participate in this, then either he really must like this attitude, or one day he will realize that he has become a pincushion for the entire team. It is noteworthy pranksters and merry fellows who often become victims of the most cruel bullying, especially when they suddenly try to abandon such a role. However, this problem can be avoided - see the next paragraph.


Be physically strong or appear to be

It's not that people are afraid that you can flare up and knock out everyone's teeth. It's just that big or very strong people are less likely to cause irritation and a desire to kick them. Yes, this is pure biology - the care of the subconscious about those same teeth at an unconscious level.

Don't try to make friends with "kings" and "queens"

Flattery and trying to make connections with local alphas and leaders is a bad idea. This is expected of a beginner: such a pathetic attempt to flatter will cause contempt (although formally it can be graciously accepted), but your status will be somewhere in the plinth region for a long time.

Find yourself friends from those who are on the sidelines.

When there are people in the team that you like and who like you, bullying stops being so exhausting, and it’s easier for the aggressors to ram alone than to contact the group.

If you are still severely bullied

If the thought of having to spend another wonderful day in this wonderful team makes you longing and despair - run. God bless them, with a salary and a dissertation! There are no bars on the windows, is there a sentry at the gate? Run! Bullying in full growth is not a trifle, it can lead to severe nervous breakdowns. Recall that spontaneous killers are often the victims of bullying at school or at work.

Well, if possible, do not terrorize anyone, even the most ridiculous and pathetic psychos who are just asking to be kicked!

COMBAT RULES


Bullying or friendly joke?

Determining whether you are friends or are already bullied is not so easy. However, friendship has symptoms that bullying does not.

Equality

After he called you a red-bottomed baboon, you have every right to call him a cholera vibrio, and he will take it for granted.

sincerity

You can talk seriously about things that are important to you, and at that moment he will not laugh and joke. At least he will try.

Confidence

He can warm you with a wet towel, but he won't tell strangers what you asked to be kept secret.

Help

Having dropped you on the floor and broken your leg, he will not only visit you in the hospital, but he will also take your cat to live with him (but he will not take the girl).

Boundary Respect

There are things that he will never joke about, because he knows that you are painful about this topic. Even if he just found out a brilliant joke specifically against bald people!

Any child can become a victim of child abuse. However, children who are different from their peers are most vulnerable. external features, both physical and mental. The "risk group" includes children with physical disabilities, other nationalities, unusual behavior etc. Ill-treatment deforms the child's psyche and can be the cause of pathological disorders. Children affected by abuse may develop socially dangerous forms of behavior: violent, suicidal and addictive (substance addiction, Internet addiction, gambling addiction). Consider some forms of child abuse.

In Scandinavian and English-speaking countries, the following terms are used: harassment, discrimination, mobbing (mainly group forms of child harassment), bullying. The last term is used in the specialized literature most often. It is believed that it most fully reflects the essence of the phenomenon we are discussing. D. Lane and E. Miller (2001) associate this term with bullying and define bullying as a long-term process of conscious, physical and (or) mental abuse by one child or a group of children towards another child (other children).

The motivation for bullying and mobbing is different: revenge, restoration of justice, an instrument of submission to the leader, competition, hostility, sadism of accentuated and disharmoniously developing personalities.

bullying - this is a social phenomenon, characteristic mainly of organized children's groups, in the first place, the school. Numerous researchers explain this circumstance, first of all, by the fact that the school is a universal place for discharging numerous negative impulses. At school, certain role relationships develop among children in the “leader-outcast” range. An additional factor contributing to the persistence of bullying in the school space is the inability, and in some cases unwillingness, of teachers to cope with this problem. Bullying manifests itself through various forms physical and (or) mental harassment experienced by children from other children. For some children, these are systematic ridicule, reflecting some peculiarities. appearance or the identity of the victims. For others - damage to their personal belongings, pushing under a desk, extortion. For the third - outright bullying that humiliates the sense of human dignity, for example, an attempt to force publicly ask for forgiveness, kneeling before the humiliating.

Some researchers propose to systematize all manifestations of bullying into two large groups:

Group 1 - manifestations associated mainly with active forms of humiliation;
Group 2 - manifestations associated with conscious isolation, obstruction of the victims.

Identification and diagnosis of medical and psychological consequences of bullying (mobbing)

The objective difficulties of early detection of bullying in our country limit the possibility of targeted work in this direction. The detection of bullying is random and episodic. In this regard, every teacher, psychologist or Social worker must be ready to meet professional activity with bullying in order to recognize the main manifestations of its most severe consequences: violent, suicidal and addictive behavior. In practice, in our country, they are more focused on identifying children and adolescents at risk for bullying.

Factors that make it possible to classify a child as a risk group for bullying include:

- multiple stress. The point is that victims of bullying are burdened with many problems. Poor health, low social status, unsatisfactory relationships with peers, large families, pronounced social disadvantage, and low compensatory opportunities are all typical of victims of bullying.

- provocative characteristics of the victim. The so-called provocative victims are children and adolescents who, due to their personal characteristics, can be annoying factors for the majority of their conditionally tolerant peers. In fact, we are talking about the phenomenon of "otherness" in children's groups. "Unusual" manner of speech, "unusual" laughter, "unusual" humor, etc. already, from the point of view of "ordinary" schoolchildren, may be a sufficient reason for negative attitude.
- stigmatization- racial (national) and physical characteristics of the child, not only physical defects, for example, "cleft lip" or hearing loss, but also some phenotypic features. Unusual hair color, voice timbre, ear shape, etc. for a certain category of children and adolescents, they can be an incentive to bullying.

In a bullying situation, there is always:

  • ? Instigators.
  • Active, sociable children who claim to be the leader in the class.
  • Aggressive children who have found an unrequited victim for their self-affirmation, etc.
  • ? Persecutors.

Some of them:

  • obey the "herd mentality";
  • trying to earn the favor of the class leader;
  • afraid to be in the position of a victim or do not dare to go against the majority.

All children react to manifestations of bullying (mobbing) in different ways. When observing children suffering from bullying (mobbing), their following features may be found:

Behavioral features:

Distance from adults and children;

Negativism when discussing the topic of bullying;

Aggressiveness towards adults and children.

Emotional features:

Tension and fear when peers appear;

Resentment and irritability;

Sadness, sadness and unstable mood.

In chronically stressed minors, the body's resistance to infectious diseases; psychosomatic disorders occur (classic vomiting of children before school, vegetative-vascular dystonia, tachycardia, bradycardia, enuresis, etc.)

Reliable information can also be obtained as a result of a sincere conversation between a specialist and an injured child. However, this is not always possible and also requires special preparation. On the other hand, any teacher, psychologist or social worker should be ready for an adequate, understanding and empathetic reflection of the traumatized child's confession about bullying by other children, if the latter decided to open up to him. It is especially sad when a child or teenager (as a rule, it is extremely difficult for teenagers) decides to open up to an adult, to tell about his misfortune, and an adult, for one reason or another, is not interested in such revelations. In this case, a precious opportunity to learn about serious problems in the lives of children and adolescents, perhaps even unrelated to the topic of violence, may be missed. Children tend to choose authoritative adults as their confidant in many cases. Parents, who may lose their children's trust, are often followed by educators and psychologists as such positive ideals of trust. The collapse of a child's hope can lead to fatal consequences.

To determine the situation of bullying (mobbing) and its consequences, it is necessary to collect relevant information and conduct a clinical and psychological examination. It is necessary to interview both the victim himself, as well as possible participants in the abuse of the victim and witnesses. All the information received should be carefully analyzed. As a result of the analysis, it is necessary to clarify the following aspects:

The reality of bullying itself;
- its duration;
- his character (physical, psychological, mixed);
- the main manifestations of bullying;
- participants (initiators and perpetrators of bullying);
- their motivation for bullying;
- witnesses and their attitude to what is happening;
- behavior of the victim (victim);
- the dynamics of everything that happens;
- Other circumstances important for diagnosis.

Help for children affected by violence

The sooner professional assistance begins to be provided to the victim, the better the prognosis (psychological-pedagogical, psychotherapeutic, psychiatric (depending on the severity of the victim's condition). The work should cover all areas of damage to the victims, taking into account their condition (somatic, mental, social). Therapeutic assistance is already begins with the interview mentioned earlier.

An important role is assigned to work on establishing relations with social environment. It is necessary to separate the child (adolescent) with the corresponding stressful influences.

Psychological and pedagogical aspects of bullying (mobbing) prevention

Primary prevention is implemented in three areas:
- Creation of conditions for preventing bullying (mobbing).
- The fastest and competent separation of the child with the corresponding stressful effects.
- Strengthening the body's defenses in resisting bullying, as for conditionally healthy children, and for those who already have a somatic or mental pathology.

1. From the very first day, any mockery of the failures of classmates should be stopped.

Petya answers at the blackboard, makes mistakes or writes not very beautifully. A classmate maliciously comments on what happened, trying to draw the attention of the whole class, to cause laughter. It is necessary to express your attitude to this situation, saying that the failure of a comrade cannot be a reason for fun or gloating. We all learn, and everyone has the right to make mistakes. The mocker should make a stern remark.

2. Any disparaging remarks about classmates should be stopped.

The teacher seats the students at his own discretion or forms teams. At the offer to sit down with Vasya, Misha exclaims: “I won’t be with him! Just not with him!” You need to stand your ground. And then talk to Misha alone, inquire about the reason for his refusal. Invite the child to take Vasya's place: "Will you be pleased if someone refuses to deal with you?"

3. If for some reason the child's reputation is damaged, you need to give him the opportunity to show himself in a favorable light.

With Vitya, a smart, well-read boy, in the first grade there was a nuisance - he peed himself in class. The guys began to tease him, did not want to play with him and sit next to him. The teacher began to ask Vita difficult questions, to entrust responsible tasks, with which he successfully coped. Soon the guys noticed how much Vitya knows, how interestingly he tells, and the unfortunate incident was gradually forgotten.

4. They help to unite the class through joint events, trips, performances, wall newspapers, etc.

5. It is necessary to give the most active children the opportunity to express themselves and assert themselves at the expense of their abilities, and not at the expense of humiliating others.

6. You should avoid making fun of and comparing children in the classroom. Some teachers even grades for test papers not announced publicly, but exhibited in diaries. Analysis of mistakes must be done without naming those who made them, or individually.

7. It makes sense to talk to the stalkers about why they pester the victim, to draw their attention to the feelings of the victim.

The teacher gathered her fifth class in the absence of the looming outcast and discussed with them why they were all turning against him. drew their attention to him positive traits. And in conclusion, she asked the guys to answer the question in writing: “How can I help Slava?” It turned out that most of the guys have nothing against Slava, but stick to him out of habit.After the conversation, the attitude towards a classmate changed.

  1. Remain calm and in control of the situation;
  2. Take the incident or the story about it seriously;
  3. Provide support to the victim;
  4. Show the offender your attitude to the situation;
  5. Assess the situation of the offender from the point of view of the victim;
  6. Remember that the punishment must match the offense;
  7. Discuss the identified problem with a group of peers;
  8. If necessary, involve the parent community.

According to the site: www . nsportal . en