Unfortunately, competence and professionalism in one's field is not yet a guarantee to gain a foothold in a new job. Not always the level of education and experience play a paramount role. If you rank the most common reasons for dismissal, then one of the first places will be the inability to win over the boss.

It is often difficult to accept the complex nature of the boss and adjust to him. A professional in his field, who constantly changes jobs, gradually loses faith in himself and becomes a loser who increasingly has problems finding employment.

Psychologists say that sooner or later all such relationships come to a standstill, lead to conflict situations. This means that it is necessary to learn how to resolve them and find compromises without succumbing to the power of strong emotions. You can always slam the door behind you, and that's the easiest way. It is much more difficult to win over the boss, despite his bad temper and disagreements.

Studying your boss

Pay attention to the boss's favorites. Why does he like them? Take a look at what they do to get the location. Use their techniques to succeed. It is not necessary to focus on sycophants, there are other ways. For example, the chief pedant loves impeccability in everything, he appreciates employees who treat his orders with particular scrupulousness. If your work is led by a young and not very confident manager, take the initiative and support him. Express your point of view and show that you can support in difficult situation. Become " right hand» chief.

What is his goal? Try to understand the boss's intentions in order to start talking to him in his language, making promising proposals in time. If the ideas of the boss leave much to be desired, do not argue with him and say that the plan will not work. Most likely, the boss will not listen to criticism and will take it as a personal insult and a doubt in his competence.

People in leadership positions who have achieved everything through hard work are unlikely to heed the advice of a newcomer. If the position is easy to get and the boss's abilities really leave much to be desired, then he is more likely to stand his ground. In general, telling your ideas and indirectly pushing your boss to them without hurting his pride is the highest art.

Respect is a way to please your boss

You don't have to befriend or flatter your boss if you dislike him. Instead, set out to find something good in his personality. Everyone has features that can be seen with time, even if they are buried too deep. Fake praise is not the best way to communicate with your boss. It only works with stupid people, but such people are quite rare. The man who has long leadership position, quickly recognizes lies in relationships with subordinates.

You do not have to show sympathy for the boss, but you must respect him. And a special technique that is used in their practice and advised by many well-known psychologists will help to achieve location. Every morning, getting ready for work in front of the mirror, imagine how you see an expression of sympathy in the facial expressions of the boss, shake hands and good mood discussing business plans. Dale Carnegie described a similar technology in his books.

Become a diplomat

What to do if the boss tries to entrust you with a task that is not included in your duties, or you just don’t want to do it? Try to find moments of communication when the authorities are in a good mood. When no one will distract the boss, go up to him and start a sincere conversation. Be diplomatic, and instead of flatly refusing the task that has been entrusted to you, first listen to the end of the boss's opinion. Then give your arguments, explaining why it is better to entrust this matter to another employee. It is important to speak convincingly and to believe in the arguments given.

Don't show your fear

Fear of the boss can cause his aggression. People who are afraid of their boss are the most likely to get laid off, even if they do a flawless job. If fear overcomes you, then, most likely, these are just echoes of a past bad experience in the subconscious. It may arise from a painful dismissal from a previous job. In any criticism, you see steps towards the inevitable removal of you from your position, and even small failures are inflated to grandiose proportions. Start working on yourself by accepting your failures and learn valuable lessons from them. Realize the fact that the boss is the same person who often makes mistakes and is afraid of something. Do not endow him with demonic qualities that instill in you a phobia of communicating with him.

Protect yourself

Having become the object of criticism from your superiors, distinguish fair remarks from frankly boorish, unreasonable behavior on his part. Do not develop a conflict, especially in front of other employees: in order not to lose face, the boss will have to fire an unmanaged specialist, even if he is a valuable professional. Calmly and with dignity respond to any increase in voice, try to hear in the words not rudeness, but recommendations. If you have something to discuss after the accusations are made, wait until the anger releases the boss, and only talk with him in private.

If you are overloaded with work, you do not need to endure it. The better answer is that extra hours should be paid according to the law. Often such a rebuff leads not to dismissal, but to gaining respect. The main thing is not to go too far and keep a calm tone.

Everyone strives to get the maximum benefit for themselves in any situation. To do this, you can manage the attitude of other people towards yourself. But we forget that our efforts make any positive traits more noticeable and stronger in manifestations. Here are five tricks to help make your colleagues more accommodating and responsive.

1. Ask for help

Many of us have forgotten how to ask for help, for some reason convincing ourselves that there should be no manifestations of fragility and weakness in the office space. As a result, even the very idea of ​​involving others to solve a problem / task causes us bewilderment and rejection. At the same time, very often a person does not know how to cope with the task on his own, and help would not hurt him.

So ask for help. Firstly, this way you can find the answer to your question much faster. Secondly, you will give the other person the opportunity to feel useful and needed. In fact, people are ready to help you only if you do not sit on their heads with your requests.

2. Give thanks

How often do you say "thank you"? We ask, sometimes even demand and force, to be helped, but we do not thank, and then we wonder why people are so angry and unresponsive. It is important to say "thank you" to everyone who has helped you. Voice out loud how much the participation of another helped you, what he is good colleague which quality causes your sincere professional delight. You will be surprised how easy it is to connect with others just by adding gratitude to your speech.

3. Be specific

Colleagues who have their own tasks cannot read your mind. Therefore, when your request sounds incomprehensible and indistinct, it can cause some irritation in your address. Always be clear about what you would like to receive from colleagues and when. The more specifics and arguments, the clearer the task. The less reproaches, comparisons, demands and obligations in the request, the less internal resistance and more desire to cooperate with you. Manipulation and criticism are not the best tools for building good relations with the team.

4. Do good deeds and accept compliments

This technique works always and everywhere - the brighter and more natural your emotion for giving a gift, a compliment and any other pleasantness, the greater the desire to do something pleasant for you again. Remember to do good deeds yourself in return.

5. Share knowledge

It is impossible to force others to do nice little things for you if you yourself do not show spiritual generosity. Be kind to others, help/advise when asked, share knowledge, be considerate and caring, listen to what they tell you. Thanks to the cultivation of generosity in relations with people, you will understand their true desires, you will be able to find a gentle approach to people and make them your comrades-in-arms.

We all dream about own business but not everyone is so lucky. And if you are not one of these lucky ones, then you probably have a boss who does not suit you in some way. This is the law of the genre. If you are even a little lucky and your boss is not a fiend, then there are many ways to win his favor. And here are some of them.

Be a nice person

Make yourself irreplaceable

This phrase that you have heard more than once is absolutely true: if you are the person without whom the work is worth, then you are much closer to promotions, bonuses and other cool things than the rest. Think and say, are you an indispensable worker? If not, then it's time to move in that direction. work on the most important projects Learn what makes you stand out from the rest. Extra training never hurt anyone.

Leadership priorities are your priorities

Make everything important to you that is important to your boss. Talk to him about work, get his opinion and let him feel that your work interests are the same. They don't have to be the same, but be sure you know your boss's priorities and know how to implement them.

Keep him posted

Needless to say, your boss will not like it if you do not show him at least occasionally and keep him informed of all events. It might even be worth sending him regular progress reports. This is necessary not only in order to amuse his pride, but also in order to show how productive you are.

Solve the problem before your boss does it

No one is perfect, and your superiors most likely understand this. But if you can fix the problem without disturbing your boss, you will look much better in his eyes. A sure way to achieve this is to keep a work journal that records everything you work on, and then evaluate yourself from the authorities. With a bit of luck, you will see the problem and be able to solve it before it alarms those above.

Be prepared to apologize for your mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes, and you are no exception. If this does happen, be prepared to apologize. .

"I was wrong. It's my fault. I'll fix it. I made a mistake". These are all examples of wrong apologies.

In these cases, you make yourself the center. A much better option would be to shift the focus to the interlocutor, or rather to the one who suffered because of your mistake. Ask yourself the question: “Who am I talking to and what does this person want to hear from me?” By answering it, you will understand how to build your apology.

Earn Respect

For some reason, many people think that being a punching bag is The best way like the management. I hope you understand that this is not the case. This may work in some cases (if your boss had a tough childhood), but the best way to win the love of your boss is to earn real respect. This means working hard, avoiding office gossip and talking about nothing, and accepting adequate criticism. Being a nice person (first point) is also correct, but they are two fundamentally different approaches. If you do not give offense and respect yourself, then your superiors will do the same.

Master the art of looking busy

Sometimes, in order to be ahead, you need to apply a little trick. And in our case, that means becoming a master at the art of looking busy even when you're not. We're not talking about shirking work or lying. But you have to let your boss know that you are busy man and you are always working on something.

Give helpful feedback

Again, if your boss is not a fiend, then he will only be happy with an honest one. But when asked about it, don't try to pour out all your complaints. Find out exactly what your boss needs. Don't conform to him and don't say what he wants to hear. If he needs to know how he's doing new project, do not try to talk about how his team spends too much time at lunch. You're not a snitch, are you?

Do the job 100%. Even if you hate your boss

Sometimes it doesn't matter how you do your job. A bad boss won't get any better. If you have such a situation, you are really sorry. In this case best advice will build up armor and not pay too much attention to tantrums, unjustified criticism and attacks from superiors.

And the most important thing! Don't let me get into your personal life. Don't take work home and don't take it out on the people around you. Instead, think about how you can improve your situation. Or maybe even her?

and sent to the dream company, the next logical step is going to an interview. How to overcome anxiety, present yourself correctly and win over a recruiter? the site consulted with a psychologist and collected the most interesting recommendations.

Cloth. Even before the recruiter speaks to you, he will pay attention to the suit. According to a CareerBuilder survey of 2,099 recruiters, HR managers, and HR professionals, predictable blue and black are the most successful colors for an interview, but orange is best not to wear. Gray, brown, black, blue and other "conservative" colors - best options for the first meeting, while bright colors that betray a creative nature (like orange) can seem provocative.

As it is easy to guess, . Of course, individual perception can play some role, but in general, each color has its own "reputation".

Black traditionally associated with leadership among recruiters, according to a CareerBuilder study. Sometimes it can be associated with inaccessibility, but if you place the accents correctly, the color will create a feeling of sophistication. Black color makes you take its "carrier" seriously. For example, fashion houses Chanel and Yves Saint Laurent use black for communication purposes (including logos), and they are leaders in their field. Blue- one of the best options for an interview, because it exudes confidence, inspires confidence. According to experts, a candidate who comes in a blue suit has a lot of chances to get a job, as well as to give the impression of a "team player".


Photo: Fotomedia

Grey color demonstrates independence, individuality, self-sufficiency and the ability to think independently. In addition, it suggests the idea of ​​logic. White and beige- a classic, but under certain circumstances you can be perceived as a boring person who lacks confidence. But wearing whimsical and easily soiled whites also speaks of being organized, so it's a good idea to wear white where many people wear bright colors. Brown color indicates reliability. The color of the earth is associated with warmth, strength and stability. Brands such as UPS and M&M's use it in corporate identity. Red color is passion, power and strength, masculinity and energy. If you need to convince someone of something or make a strong impression, then the best choice- red. But in an interview with this color, it is better to be careful. Green, yellow, orange and purple exude creativity. These bright colors are associated with fun, the ability and desire to attract attention, but they are not the best options for an interview, at least for the "costume basis".

Preparation: how to overcome anxiety

When the basic preparation is over (the history of the company has been studied, its official website has been carefully studied and the necessary questions for the recruiter have been selected), it remains to cope with understandable excitement. He can be given away by certain gestures and inconsistent speech, and such trifles can cross out even the highest professionalism at the first meeting. In this case, there are three effective psychological techniques.

Don't try to calm down. In fact, the worst thing you can think of in an exciting situation is to obsessively try to calm down. A study by Harvard University professor Alison Brooks proves that the most effective way to deal with anxiety is to convince yourself that your arousal is due to joy. The participants in the experiment, who were in for an exciting event, like a singing contest, public speaking or passing the exam, were divided into three groups. Those in the first group tried to overcome their anxiety by saying to themselves, "I am calm." Participants in the second group had to say to themselves something like "I'm very happy." And those who fell into the third group did not conduct any internal dialogue at all before the stressful event. As a result, the participants in the experiment who fell into the second group showed the best results and felt more confident than the rest. Where does this effect come from? Anxiety - according to the reactions of the body - is similar to joyful excitement, but they are distinguished by color (in the first state it is negative, in the second it is positive, respectively). Calmness is on the opposite end of the emotional spectrum. It is logical that a sharp transition from one state to another will not work. But energy can be redirected in a positive direction - so that the state of excitement does not interfere, but helps.

"People worry (worry themselves). Sometimes this comes from self-doubt, the presence of a past unsuccessful experience, just the habit of worrying about and without it. An interview may be such a reason for excitement, or it may not be. Here each person is for himself makes a decision. The myth is that an interview is necessarily a reason for excitement. But can this be a reason for showing interest in the interview process? Agree, interest is a different state than excitement, "says a candidate of psychological sciences, a lawyer and business coach Vitaly Pichugin.

Read the right books before your interview. Properly chosen light reading can greatly increase confidence. The results of the study, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, say that many readers tend to copy the behavior of the main characters of the books they recently read. For example, one group read a book about a man who did not have the right to vote, but fought hard to get it. As a result, most of the participants in this group more willingly went to the polls. It makes sense to try: instead of worrying about an unclear future, it is better to read good book some successful person, who may have also struggled with the problem of self-doubt.


Photo: Fotomedia

Don't be overly self-critical. Read your resume - carefully and thoughtfully. Pay attention to the thoughts that come to your mind as you go. Is there a negative? Remember that this is a fairly natural reaction, and also think about how you could improve this or that section, what could you additionally say about those points that are in doubt. get carried away negative thoughts too easy, and this will invariably affect self-esteem. Remind yourself that everyone has weaknesses and strong points which is quite normal. Seeing flaws, every time tell yourself that it is normal to have flaws, do not dwell on it. Stop being too judgmental about yourself.

According to Vitaly Pichugin, there are two ways to fight anxiety: firstly, you can work with your body, and secondly, with beliefs and beliefs. He advises to start with the body, specific manifestations of excitement: trembling in the arms, legs, heaviness in the chest, "cotton" legs, shortness of breath. Such manifestations, the expert notes, are removed relatively easily:

Inhale deeply and exhale three times;
- strongly strain all the muscles of the body for ten to fifteen seconds, then relax;
- if possible, wash yourself cold water(if there is no way to wash, put your hands under cold water for one minute).

"With beliefs, beliefs are more difficult. But honest answers to questions will help simple questions. What is the most important thing for you in life? Maybe health, relationships with loved ones, caring for children, self-development. Compared to what's really important to you, is the interview really worth worrying about? This is just an episode big life. Have you had difficulties in your life, difficulties that you were able to overcome? If so, why worry about the interview? This is a minor complication, nothing more. How experienced are you in your business or profession? In any case, you have some experience. An interview is still a new experience, it should be rejoicing, not worrying," says Vitaly Pichugin.

First impression: the main thing is to be natural

Many experts talk about body language - facial expressions and gestures that can somehow endear you. We asked a psychologist about them.

"Immediately about the myth that there are some special gestures and facial expressions, or magic words, which will locate the interlocutor to you. There are none. The truth is that you need to behave naturally, as is customary for polite people who know what they want. Just like you talk in a business style with other people, so it should be in an interview. It is not necessary to radiate a foolish positive, but it is not necessary to be darker than a cloud. You came to offer your knowledge, skills, abilities, what special facial expressions do you need to tell about your proposal? Be simpler, more specific, clearer, and recruiters will reach out to you" - Vitaly Pichugin comments.

Another myth, the expert notes, is that the mood of the interlocutor always depends on your behavior. This is wrong. Maybe the person who will talk to you has his own great personal difficulties, but you have nothing to do with it. The truth is that your behavior can influence the interlocutor. At the very least, don't ruin your impression.

"What can immediately set you up negatively? Untidy appearance, dirty shoes, clothing mismatch business style. It is wrong to come to get a job in a bank in a tracksuit. Metamessage "I'm not doing well". This is such a general message to the interlocutor about trouble, it can be made up of uncertain gestures, a trembling voice, and answers out of place. Misunderstanding the purpose of coming to the interview: it is useful to clearly articulate what result is needed from the interview. Answers not to the questions that the interlocutor asks you. Inappropriate jokes, humor aimed at the interlocutor," the psychologist lists.

Is it worth trying to please?

According to Vitaly Pichugin, the opinion that it is necessary to please the employer is another myth: "It is important to please on a date with a girl. business area other categories, for example: professionalism, skills, benefits, profit. I will choose a professional surgeon who knows how to perform the necessary operations, although he will be unpleasant to me as a person. You can, of course, choose a nice and sincere surgeon in all respects, but without any experience. I am opposed to this pleasant person in all respects gaining experience on my body. For business choose professionals. The truth is that it is desirable for a professional to still be a person who makes a favorable impression.

What brings you closer? According to the psychologist, this is:

Conversation in the same professional language, that is, the use of terms, exactly those that are accepted in this profession;
- compliance with expectations: if you are expected to know the standard (mandatory) rules, laws, principles that are necessary for successful work, and you demonstrate their presence, then the impression arises - your man;
- adjustment in behavior is good, just do not go to extremes, "monkey", stupidly repeating the postures and movements of the interlocutor;
- correct orientation in the situation: it is necessary to track changes in the course of the conversation in time in order to correctly respond to them. For example, it is important to track the pace of speech, intonation, volume. You should not speak clearly louder or quieter than the interlocutor, without reason to speed up or slow down the pace of speech;
- finding common, for example, in the past professional experience maybe college education, general teachers.

"This is not all the myths and realities of the interview. But if you understand main idea that any claims about magical interview techniques should be taken critically, seeing in them both myths and useful information, then you will not make mistakes by reading the recommendations and guidelines for a successful interview," Vitaly Pichugin sums up.

Chapter 4

Prepare for the Stress of a Leader

Not surprisingly, this chapter is devoted to tips for building relationships between subordinates and a female leader. Gone are the days when a female boss not only lacked respect, but was nonsense in business circles. IN modern world All more women reach heights in various fields activities, competing with men in the ability to rationally plan the work of the enterprise and establish complex mechanisms of relationships between employees. Now, at least, it sounds silly to state the fact of the existence of a woman in the role of a leader like “It’s clear how she got a job here!”. Initiative and natural curiosity make bosses deviate from the standards of problem solving and look for nuggets among employees. The differences between men and women in high positions are not sharply expressed in terms of business acumen and perseverance. However, there is a reason why you should share relationship building with them. This reason originates in the differences in the psyche of the sexes. Men experience all their experiences, stresses and irritations very deeply and accumulate them in themselves, not giving themselves “weakness”, thereby maintaining external equanimity and calmness. If there is a lot of stress, as a result, friction arises with others and even more so with subordinates. But the female psyche is arranged differently - generously sharing emotions with others, a woman unloads her baggage of both negative and positive, thereby achieving a balance between them. So if your current or future boss is a woman, you should read this chapter carefully, as we provide real advice for some common situations.

Very important fact is that, contrary to prevailing beliefs, women leaders are not subject to stress to the extent that they are credited with. But without a doubt, a very frequent demonstration of negative emotions speaks of the general state of psychological health. Let's take a look at the concept of stress. Very interesting, but if you dig into the specific literature, you can find a mention of "eustress" and "distress". The first means those stressful sensations that positively affect the psychological and physical development, the second is negative emotional states that negatively affect our operations. In general, the word stress is translated from English as tension, and in fact it is directly related to our emotions and intelligence. With "eustresses" bosses without special efforts cope on their own, but in other cases it is quite possible that you will have to play the role of a lightning rod. In order to avoid confusion of concepts and not get bogged down in psychological terms, we must separate the concept of "stressful situation" and "stress". With all your desire and zeal, you will not be able to remove the causes of stressful situations that are not related to your work, right? After all, they can be failures in undertakings, criticism from the outside, fear due to the complexity of the choice, fear of making an unambiguous decision, moral overload, information overload, problems in the family, and much more. It is not possible to control all areas where such problems occur. But stress is a state of mind when, due to stressful situations, you fall either into a state that is difficult for thinking (the so-called dead end), or into an extremely excited and often aggressive state, or when there is a veil before your eyes, your hands drop ' and don't want to do anything. Now that we have dealt with the concept of stress, it's time to find out how stress manifests itself in female leaders and what to do if your boss is stressed.

A woman experiences stress internally due to criticism of her leadership, only its signs will come out, such as:

- nit-picking with subordinates with or without cause;

- artificially created situations in which they look for those who are guilty without guilt;

- introduction of new rules of work behavior and a stricter approach to the amount of work performed;

How to behave: do not succumb to provocations. Try to do all your work and unobtrusively offer your help in free time to his boss. Since no one will cry in your vest, try to understand who exactly is involved in this situation and, if possible, criticize his work too, in a very mild form. This kind of intercession can play important role building relationships with the boss. But if the criticism comes from senior leaders, do not criticize them, respect the hierarchy, but try to support it with a kind word about the methods of communicating with people. No matter how professional your boss is, as a woman she always takes credit for her ability to communicate, and your words will be oil on her soul. It is very important to understand that this phenomenon is temporary, and not to make hasty conclusions about the personal characteristics of the leader. If you want the comments about your work to end, anticipate them, do not give a reason to pay close attention to you.

Stress from excessive information overload is fraught with external manifestations of emotions. Since this type of stress is directly related to intellectual overstrain, the boss's reaction may be inadequate. The following effects of stress are quite acceptable:

- hysteria;

- inattention;

- some delay in words.

You will win if you show her attention, for example, go to her for a cup of coffee and mineral water. Coffee has an invigorating effect due to purines - substances that stimulate nervous and cardiac activity, and mineral water will give the necessary set of trace elements that will support the full functioning of the brain.

Like any leader, your boss may experience stress due to the constant responsibility for decisions made. In addition to the fact that every decision is fraught with the risk of unacceptability, every time a woman has to prove her competence to herself and others. Therefore, from her side, in your address there may be:

- comments on the quality of work performed;

– new orders regarding the scope of work and position individual employees;

- sharp reprimands for oversights.

In order not to incur even more anger, try to look busy with work and never show that you have a lot of free time. In her eyes, you should be a diligent, responsible and zealous employee. Let you slowly do the work, but do not tear yourself away from it, when checking, you risk your reputation due to frequent smoke breaks and excessive communication with colleagues.

Stress is such an ambiguous concept that it is worth understanding how it affects the age categories of leaders. Could it be that young and strong-willed women are less prone to stress than middle-aged and older women? Our answer is unlikely. Stress resistance arises due to the experience of solving such situations, the training of the psyche and a number of personal character traits, such as rigidity (the ability to switch in time, adapt to external conditions), perseverance, high self-esteem. Therefore, speaking about the influence of age on behavior in stressful situations, can be deduced the following formula. We remind you that we cannot know exactly your situation, so add your efforts to it to get into the top ten.

A young boss will very often experience stress due to criticism, failures, time troubles, fear of making a responsible decision, information overload. Therefore, building a relationship with her, try to become her reliable assistant and solid support. Support her, say encouraging, inspiring words. It is quite possible that after stress, she will treat you a little warmer, and will certainly distinguish you from the general crowd. Well, at least he won't add it to the list of his ill-wishers.

Wise with experience, both professional and life, a middle-aged boss is likely to be more resistant to the effects of so-called "stressors" - stimuli that cause stress. Her nervous system already trained, but still, in case of stress, she can break loose on her subordinates.

The elderly female manager very skillfully maneuvers among the various problematic ledges of the enterprise and knows when and what to do. It would seem that there is nothing to surprise or unsettle her. However, the most severe stress lies in wait for her when changing positions, close to retirement age and intrigue from a younger and more dexterous assistant.

Who is warned is armed. A woman remains a woman in any case, even if she occupies a high position. It will be unpredictable, mysterious and sometimes just incomprehensible. But her position as a boss does not change from this. Still, you should decide whether you can be aware of her moods. Do not be capricious, do not be led to provocations and do not get personal. Are you ready to overcome stress with your boss?

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