NLP is by far one of the most popular areas of existing applied psychology. The scope of its application is very extensive: psychotherapy, medicine, marketing, political and pedagogy, business, advertising.

Unlike most other practically oriented psychological disciplines, NLP provides operational change, solving the problems of both an individual person and society as a whole. At the same time, everything is carried out in an unconditionally effective environmental regime.

Introduction to Neuro Linguistic Programming

It is worth starting with the fact that NLP is a kind of art, a science of excellence, the result of the study of achievements. prominent people in various The positive moment is that absolutely everyone can master such communication skills. You just need to have the desire to improve your professional

Neuro-Linguistic Programming: What is it?

There are various models of excellence built by NLP in the field of communication, education, business, therapy. Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is a specific model of how individuals structure their unique life experiences. We can say that this is only one of the many ways of understanding, organizing the most complex, but unique system of communication and human thoughts.

NLP: history of origin

It appeared in the early 70s, was the result of a collaboration between D. Grinder (at that time an assistant professor of linguistics at the University of California at Santa Cruz) and R. Bandler (there - a student of psychology), who was very passionate about psychotherapy. Together they investigated the activities of 3 great psychotherapists: V. Satir (family therapist, she took on cases that other specialists considered hopeless), F. Perls (innovator of psychotherapy, founder of the Gestalt therapy school), M. Erickson (world famous hypnotherapist) .

Grinder and Bandler uncovered the patterns (templates) used by the above psychotherapists, deciphered them, and subsequently built a fairly elegant model that can be applied both in and in personal change, and as part of accelerated learning, and even for more life pleasure.

Richard and John at that time lived near G. Bateson (an English anthropologist). He was the author of works on systems theory and communication. His scientific interests were very extensive: cybernetics, psychotherapy, biology, anthropology. He is known to many for his theory of the 2nd link in schizophrenia. Bateson's contribution to NLP is extraordinary.

NLP has evolved in two complementary ways: as a process for discovering patterns of excellence in any area human life and how enough effective method communication and thinking, which is practiced by prominent people.

In 1977 Grinder and Bandler held a series of successful public seminars in America. This art is rapidly spreading, as evidenced by the statistics that to date, approximately 100 thousand people have received training in one form or another.

Origin of the name of the science in question

Neuro-linguistic programming: what is it, based on the meaning of the words included in this term? The word "neuro" refers to the fundamental idea that human behavior originates in neurological processes such as seeing, tasting, smelling, touching, hearing, and feeling. Mind and body form an inseparable unity - the human being.

The "linguistic" component of the name demonstrates the use of language in order to streamline one's thoughts, one's behavior in order to be able to enter into communication with other people.

"Programming" implies an indication of how a person organizes his actions, ideas in order to obtain the desired result.

NLP Basics: Maps, Filters, Frames

All people use the senses in order to perceive the world around us, to study it, to transform it. The world is an endless variety of sensory manifestations, but people can perceive only a tiny part of it. The information received is subsequently filtered by unique experiences, language, values, assumptions, culture, beliefs, interests. Each person lives in some unique reality, which is built from purely personal sensory impressions, individual experience. His actions are based on what he perceives - on his personal model of the world.

The world around us is so large-scale and rich that people are forced to simplify it in order to comprehend it. Good example this is the creation geographical maps. They are selective: they carry information and at the same time miss it, however, they still act as an incomparable assistant in the process of exploring the territory. From the fact that a person knows where he wants to get, it also depends on what kind of map he draws up.

Humans are equipped with numerous natural, necessary, beneficial filters. Language is a filter, a map of the thoughts of a particular person, his experiences, which is separated from the real world.

Fundamentals of Neuro-Linguistic Programming - Behavioral Framework. This is the understanding of human action. So, the first frame is focusing on the result, not on a specific problem. This means that the subject is looking for something to strive for, then finds suitable solutions, and subsequently applies them to achieve the goal. The focus on the problem is most often referred to as the “blame frame”. It consists in a deep analysis of the existing reasons for the impossibility of achieving the desired result.

The next frame (second) is to ask exactly the question “how?”, Not “why?”. It will lead the subject to an awareness of the structure of the problem.

The essence of the third frame is feedback instead of failure. There is no such thing as failure, only results. The first is a way of describing the second. Feedback holds back the goal in

Considering the possibility, not the necessity, is the fourth frame. The focus should be on possible actions, and not on existing circumstances that limit a person.

Also, NLP welcomes curiosity, surprise instead of pretense. At a glance it's enough simple idea but it has very profound implications.

Another useful idea is the possibility of creating internal resources that a person needs to achieve his goal. Faith in the correctness of actions will help to achieve success rather than supposing the opposite. This is nothing but Neuro Linguistic Programming. What it is has already become clear, so it’s worth moving on to considering its methods and techniques.

NLP Methods

These are the main theoretical, practical aspects of using neurolinguistic programming. These include:

  • anchoring;
  • submodality editing;
  • swish methods;
  • work with obsessive, problematic, phobic conditions.

These are the main methods of Neuro Linguistic Programming.

Changing the perception of an event

This is one of the exercises to apply the simplest technique of Neuro-Linguistic Programming. For example, jealousy. It proceeds in 3 consecutive stages: visualization (imagining the scene of betrayal), then auditoryization (representing the sound accompaniment of the scene of betrayal) and at the end - kinesthetic perception (the appearance of a negative feeling of betrayal).

The essence of this technique is the violation of one of the stages. IN this example it can be a conviction that the scene of betrayal is far-fetched at the first stage, at the second stage it is presented to the accompaniment of funny music, which leads to a change in the perception of the whole picture as a whole at the third stage (it becomes funny). This is how Neuro Linguistic Programming works. The most diverse examples can be given: an imaginary illness, the power of photographic memory, etc.

Pedagogy as a field of application of NLP

As mentioned earlier, there are a large number of areas where Neuro Linguistic Programming is used. Training can also take place using methods, NLP techniques.

Scientists argue that through neurolinguistic programming, a significant part of the school material can be mastered much faster, more efficiently without the formation of school phobias, mainly due to the development of student abilities. With all this, this process is very exciting. This applies to any teaching activity.

The school has its own unique culture, which is formed from several subcultures that have their own patterns of non-verbal communication.

Due to the fact that school educational levels are differentiated, each of them generates its own patterns of effective learning styles. These levels are grouped into categories:

1. Primary school. At the age of 6, children leave the walls of the kindergarten and enter the 1st grade as a so-called kinesthetic creature. Educators know what children perceive real world through touch, smell, taste, etc. In primary school a typical practice is going through procedures - kinesthetic learning.

2. High school. Starting from the 3rd grade, adjustments are made to the learning process: the transition from kinesthetic perception to auditory. Children who find it difficult to adapt to this transition are left to finish their studies or they are transferred to special classes.

3. High school students. Another transition is being made from auditory to visual perception. The presentation of school material becomes more symbolic, abstract, graphic.

These are the basics of Neuro Linguistic Programming.

Corridor and conveyor

The first concept is the place where the development of the student's lagging modality takes place. In other words, the corridor is aimed at the process, and the conveyor - at the content.

When focusing on the latter, the teacher should apply neurolinguistic programming: learning through multi-sensory techniques in order to provide the opportunity for each individual student to choose the process that is familiar to him. However, as a rule, the "conveyor" teacher builds the learning process in the first modality, while the "corridor" teacher will need to choose an individual approach to each student (corridor). Thus, the ability to establish an appropriate learning style is the basis for success.

Application of NLP in sects

There are also areas of life where neuro-linguistic programming acts as a lever of negative manipulation. Various examples can be given. Most often these are sects.

Alexander Kapkov (sectologist) believes that at one time the secret methods of neurolinguistic programming were quite often used in various religious groups, for example, in the sect of Ron Hubbard. They are very effective for quick and effective zombification of adherents (they allow you to manipulate a person). The effects of psychotechniques in sects are passed off as indulgence of grace.

The article described what neurolinguistic programming is (what it is, what methods and techniques it uses), as well as examples of its practical application.

What is NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming)? This is a rather broadly interpreted way of influencing people, including behavior modeling, thought programming and mind control. And NLP is a specific branch of psychology. In general, a lot can be said about this, but now it is worth focusing on the most interesting aspects of this topic.

History and background of the method

Before going into detail about what NLP is, it is worth turning to history. The direction itself was developed in the 60-70s by American scientists - linguist John Grinder and psychologist Richard Bandler.

Experts clearly explain the principle of neurolinguistic programming. Scientists say that this method embodies the main idea of ​​Alfred Korzybski, an American researcher and founder of general semantics. It sounds like this: all our models of the world and cognitive maps (images of a familiar spatial environment) are representations distorted due to the peculiarities of neurological functioning, as well as due to the limitations that are associated with it.

Scientists assure that after the information enters the receptors of the five senses, it undergoes linguistic and neurological transformations. Moreover, before a person (more precisely, his brain, consciousness) himself gets access to it. This says only one thing - none of us ever experience objective reality. In any case, it is modified by neurology and language.

The basis of the method

Without studying it directly, it is rather difficult to understand what NLP is. The method itself implies, first of all, the study of the structure of subjective experience. That is, what only one or another specific person experienced.

Neuro-Linguistic Programmers are primarily interested in how people process reality and construct it. Scientists admit that, perhaps, the notorious objective reality (a world that exists independently of a person and his consciousness) exists. But it is not given to anyone to know what it is, except through perception and consistently formed beliefs about it.

All NLP books say that subjective experience has its own structure and organization. That is, for each person, his beliefs, ideas and perceptions are collected according to the relationship between them. They are structured and organized. And this manifests itself both at the micro and at the macro level.

Scientists argue that all behavioral acts and communication (both verbal and non-verbal) reflect how a person internally structures the concepts and beliefs inherent in him. And an experienced observer is able to work with these processes.

There is definitely some truth in this. The subjective nature of human experiences will never allow us to embrace the objective world. Humans do not have access to absolute knowledge of reality. All they have is a set of beliefs about her that is built up over the course of their lives.

Method principles

Having studied them at least briefly, you can roughly understand what NLP is. And one of the principles sounds like this - whatever a person does, he is driven by a positive intention, which is often not even realized. That is, the behavior demonstrated by him at one time or another is the best available or the most correct. Proponents of NLP believe that finding new alternatives can be beneficial, as they help change behavior that other people do not want.

Even in this topic there is such a thing as rapport. It denotes a qualitative connection established between two people. It is characterized by ease of communication, mutual trust, unhindered flow of speech. In the field of psychology and psychiatry, Special attention rapport between doctors and patients. Since their presence affects the outcome of psychotherapy. Therefore, NLP specialists focus on what exactly constitutes rapport, as well as what factors allow it to be achieved and maintained in the future.

The third principle is: “There is no defeat. There is only feedback." In NLP, communication is never seen in terms of failure and success. Only in terms of efficiency. If the results turn out to be ineffective, then this is a reason for researchers not to be disappointed, but to seek feedback. It will determine the success of the actions performed. This principle, by the way, is borrowed from the information theory of the English psychiatrist William Ross Ashby.

Fourth principle: “Having a choice is better than not having a choice.” Here is what is important to learn for beginners - NLP is about recognizing "stagnation" and identifying new options for action in any situation. Proponents of the method say that an individual who is characterized not by strength, but by flexibility in the spectrum of reactions manifested, can more effectively influence something.

Fifth principle: "The meaning of communication is the response received." As mentioned at the beginning, NLP is manipulation of people in a sense. So, the main thing in communication is not the intention behind the message being sent, but the reaction caused by it in the opponent. If you begin to be guided by this principle, you can become more effective in communication. Indeed, by the visual reaction of the opponent, one can trace how this or that information reaches him.

Mind and body interact

This is one of the rules of NLP. And it's hard to argue with its truth. When a person dances to his favorite music, his mood improves. If he takes a sleeping pill, his brain shuts down. When a person is pushed in the back during rush hour in the subway, his central nervous system immediately reacts with irritation to this.

In all cases, what happens to the body affects the mind. The principle also works in the opposite direction. A person is preparing to speak to the masses - his heartbeat quickens. He is complimented - his cheeks turn pink, a smile appears. Report bad news- there is a pressure drop, tears.

What's with NLP? In deciphering the abbreviation, there is the term "programming", which in this context means laying in the mind certain function. So, in this case, a person must realize the power of his thoughts over the body. Lay it in your mind, program yourself for this principle. And then he will understand how great his possibilities are.

Of course, many are skeptical about this principle. But proponents of NLP believe that people living in accordance with it can give orders to their bodies. Force yourself to lose weight or recover without pills, improve your mood.

Skepticism dispelled the placebo effect. There was an experiment: the researchers gathered sick people and, dividing them into two groups, began to treat. One was given medication. Others - "pacifiers", placebo pills. But they didn't know about it. Doctors wanted to find out what affects people - chemical substances or their belief in the treatment they receive. According to the results of the experiment, it turned out that the “pacifiers” acted on a par with medicines, and in some cases even turned out to be more effective than them.

Inner resources are limitless

This is the next rule of NLP. Each person has fantastic resources, but practically does not use them to the full extent. Why? Due to natural laziness.

Why read and educate yourself when you can get your smartphone and quickly google what interests you? Why try to master the skill of controlling your body, pressure and temperature, when there are aspirins, antipyretics?

NLP is a field of knowledge and methods in which great attention is paid to the hidden potential. One of the main tasks is to discover in the depths of the soul the necessary resources to achieve certain goals, find talents, and quickly master skills and knowledge. In general, everything that can make life easier.

And here is the NLP rule for every day: you need to train yourself to pay special attention to people whose abilities you admire. This is the easiest way to discover and develop your hidden talents. After all, a person notices in others those qualities that are characteristic of himself! He just doesn't realize it sometimes. Supporters of NLP are sure: if a person noted someone's talent or ability, rejoiced for its owner, it means that he has the same inclinations. He just didn't let them manifest before.

But this also applies to disadvantages. Does a person accuse someone of envy, meanness, anger, meanness? But are they not peculiar to him, too? Probably yes. Particularly annoying are those qualities that people subconsciously do not accept in themselves.

Who to be in this world is an individual decision

Probably everyone has heard phrases like: "Everything depends on ourselves" or "You are the master of your life." That's just, as it usually happens, few people think about such words, realize their meaning. And in NLP, one of the key rules sounds exactly like this: "Who a person will be - a winner or a loser - depends only on him."

Everyone is the creator of their universe. Ruler of your own Destiny. The one who can "order" himself wealth or poverty, health or illness, good luck or failure. Sometimes "orders" are made unconsciously.

Some will smile skeptically, others will find hundreds of rebuttals and arguments against this statement, the rest will think. But it must be remembered that we are talking about NLP - the technique of manipulating people and their own consciousness. Sometimes, some people begin to arrange their lives so recklessly and even aggressively that the phrase “I can!” becomes their daily motto. And they achieve truly amazing results.

Because these people believe in their own strengths and in themselves, they take responsibility for their Destiny upon themselves (realizing that they do not create it, not karma, bosses, higher power, government or circumstance), as well as unlocking inner potential. They spend over themselves capital work every day. NLP should not be viewed as a pseudo-scientific technique. These are motivations, attitudes, the study of one's consciousness, a constant process of self-improvement. This is where strength is needed.

Technique #1: Anchor Creation

Many people are addicted to NLP and manipulation of their own consciousness. Mostly because they don't want to be...happy. People come to Neuro Linguistic Programming with the hope that they will be able to "tune" themselves to good life. And it's possible.

The vast majority of us have had/have moments when we are absolutely happy. The pinnacle of bliss, so to speak. Life goes like clockwork, everything works out, there are no barriers, desires come true. Too bad it's not always like that. But what prevents you from remembering this state and constantly returning to it mentally?

This is one of the key techniques of NLP. It is necessary to remember your blissful state, called “resource”, to imagine the range of feelings experienced at that moment. When they become as bright as possible, you need to put an "anchor". It can be anything - a snap of the fingers, a slight pull on the earlobe, a gentle squeezing of the shoulder with the palm of your hand. In general, the main thing is that it be a gesture that is available for implementation in any situation.

The exercise must be repeated. Remember your feelings and blissfully time and put the chosen “anchor” at the peak. Here the goal is simple - to form a kind of conditioned reflex. When it can be achieved, then a person with the help of his anchor will experience the whole gamut of those emotions and feelings. And this skill really improves psychological condition under dreary, sad, unfavorable life circumstances.

By the way, the "anchor" can be replaced by an object. The reflex will be additionally developed on the basis of associations. But then you will need to carry it with you constantly.

Tactic #2: Influencing Others

Many people want to master manipulation with the help of Neuro Linguistic Programming. There are many NLP techniques that help influence others. But all of them are based on the specifics of speech, construction of sentences, appeal, attitude towards a person. So, here are just some of the NLP techniques that help influence people:

  • Method of three consents. It is based on the inertia of the psyche. The principle is this: before voicing an important question, to which you need to get a firm “yes” from the interlocutor, you need to ask him three insignificant, light ones, one hundred percent implying a positive answer. Having agreed several times, he will continue to do it inertially.
  • Illusion of choice. A clever NLP manipulation technique. On the one hand, a person offers a choice. On the other hand, it encourages the respondent to do what he needs. For example: “Will you buy the whole set or part of it?”.
  • Trap words. They tenaciously "catch" the consciousness of almost every person in the network. For example: "Do you feel confident after our classes?". And it doesn't matter that the person didn't notice it. His consciousness had already fallen into a trap, and he began to think, began to look for confirmation of the question.
  • The affirmation of positive reality, taken for granted. For example: “Well, you are a smart person, you will agree with this.” And the opponent is no longer interested in arguing, since by doing so he will cast doubt on the fact that he is smart.
  • Questions-teams. Something that few people reread. For example, not "Make the music quieter", but "Does it make it difficult for you to muffle the sound a little?". The first option sounds more honest, but looks like an order. When voicing the second, an illusion is created that the person takes into account the opinion of the opponent, since he asks him in a polite manner, and does not force him. This cannot be denied.
  • Turnover "than ... so ...". A bunch of what the manipulator himself needs. For example: “The longer you drive this car, the more you realize that you want to own it.”

And these are just some of the NLP techniques that have an impact on a person. But they can all be resisted by a person who understands this topic and knows that manipulators are everywhere. It is enough to ask yourself the question: “Do I really need this?”. Consciousness will immediately react by bringing arguments.

Sphere of advertising

It contains many examples of NLP. Good commercials, slogans, billboards evoke such a reaction from the consumer: I see à I want à I buy. They can be based on values ​​- what represents holiness for the target audience. Images of elderly parents, grandparents, family, lovers, home comforts… it all weighs on the consumer's sensuality.

Submodalities are also one of the foundations of NLP advertising techniques. The emphasis is on kinesthetic, auditory and visual perception. Everyone knows these videos. Well-chosen angles, the effect of moving away and approaching, the dynamic development of the plot, the music that excites the mind ... everything is used so that the consumer feels like a part of advertising. Such a context easily awakens the appetite, calls to action, makes you feel like the owner of the advertised thing in reality.

Another effective technique is truism. What is taken from authoritative sources can be said. Something that won't inspire distrust. For example: “Approved by the worldwide association…”, “Doctors recommend…”, “Made in Germany”, etc.

SMART goal setting

This method is also directly related to NLP. The abbreviation SMART reflects the criteria that a person's goal must meet to achieve. So this is:

  • S - specific (specifics).
  • M - measurable (measurability).
  • A - attainable (reachability).
  • R - relevant (significance).
  • T - time-bounded (correlation with specific terms).

A person, writing a goal according to SMART, programs himself in the most direct way. Here is an example of what a thoughtful attitude might look like: “What do I want? Own business to open your own establishment. What is needed for this? Earn start-up capital, draw up a plan, perhaps take a loan for development. What are my options for this? ambition, perspective job and early success - so you can set a goal above the limit of possibilities. Why do I need my own business? This is an old dream, and wishes must come true, plus, I will work for myself and have the prospect of developing the sphere in the future. How much time do I have to prepare? 2 years".

This is just one example. In any case, meeting the goal with these criteria will increase the likelihood of its implementation. talking plain language In order to change something in life, you need to have a clear idea of ​​​​what you want specifically.

By the way, it will not be superfluous to read some books on NLP. In particular, those that were written by the founders of the method. Recommended reading is their work entitled "The Structure of Magic" in two volumes (1975 and 1976). You can also read the book "Changes in the Family", written jointly with the American psychologist Virginia Satir.

Also worthwhile is the NLP Practitioner. Written by Bob Bodenhamer and Michael Hall. This book is of interest to both beginners in the field of NLP, and people with skills in this area who want to improve them.

Undoubtedly, neuro-linguistic programming today is one of the most popular and sought-after ways for a person to influence his own personality and the people around him. After all, NLP allows a person to learn to better understand himself, and get rid of any negative traits, at the same time, cultivating positive; promotes a deeper understanding of those with whom one has to interact; makes it possible to make the communication process more pleasant and effective, as well as to influence people of completely different categories. Moreover, knowledge of NLP is successfully applied not only in psychology, psychotherapy and other related sciences. The application of NLP is ideal for ordinary Everyday life. And in order for anyone to learn this, there are now many options: video and audio materials, Internet resources, trainings and webinars, special training programs, magazines, books, etc.

And, of course, the basis for any training programs and materials is always theoretical basis containing the bulk of the information. But any theory will not be of any value if it is not combined with practice, because. only practice forms the skills necessary for the successful application of knowledge. It is the practical side of NLP that we have devoted to the presented article. In it, we'll look at some of the best and most popular NLP tricks and techniques. You can master any of these methods to a sufficient extent, subject to regular training in everyday life.

In this article, 13 techniques are briefly analyzed, if you want to learn about 72 more techniques and learn how to apply such techniques in life, then we advise you to pay attention to our course "Best Communication Techniques".

Change of submodalities

Submodalities are those elements that make up a complete picture of our perception of the surrounding reality. With the help of them, our attitude to everything is encoded. The technique of changing submodalities allows us to change our attitude to something, and we can influence not only the strength of our experiences, but also transform their assessment and subsequent sensations. In addition, this technique is also suitable for changing the assessment of some situation that has already occurred, the formation of motivation, changing attitudes towards another person, etc.

As a rule, the scheme of this technique is always approximately the same: you need to take a situation (person) to which you want to change your attitude, and a situation (person) in relation to which, on the contrary, positive emotions are experienced. Then you need to find some differences between these situations (people) and their submodalities, and replace the submodalities of the first situation with the submodalities of the second. After that, a check is made: if the situation has changed in the right direction, then the replacement was successful, if not, then you need to return to the previous step and work it out again.

Model of correct goal setting "SMARTEF"

A huge role in the process of achieving goals is played by the ability to correctly formulate and determine the desired result. Simply put, in order to change anything in life, you need to have a clear idea of ​​​​what you want specifically. It is the SMARTEF technique that helps to define and formulate the result properly. Compliance of the goal with the SMARTEF criteria greatly increases the likelihood of its implementation. The goal should be:

  • Specific (you must take into account all the details);
  • Measurable (you must be clearly aware of all the indicators of the moment when the goal is achieved);
  • Attractive (the goal should be consistent with your beliefs and values, motivate you);
  • Realistic (you must know exactly what the goal is achievable and what you need to achieve it);
  • Limited by time (you must clearly set a time frame for achieving the goal);
  • Environmentally friendly (you should consider your goal in global significance, as well as realize the secondary benefits from its achievement / non-achievement);
  • Positive wording in the present tense (when setting a goal, you must take into account the special parameters of the wording).

We have already touched on SMARTEF techniques in our lesson " Anchoring, performance and state management". If you wish, you can return to it or study the method in more detail.

Walt Disney's Creative Strategy

This technique is based on the many years of experience of the American animator and film director Walt Disney in the fields of business and creativity. The essence of his strategy is the ability to approach any issue from three different positions: a dreamer, a realist and a critic. The very same approach was called by the author "imaging". Each of the three components contributes to the search for an effective solution to any issue.

The main function of the dreamer is manifested at the initial stage, when new goals and ideas are just being formed, and is focused on the future. The dreamer must help the person see how all the parts of his plan fit together. The function of a realist is expressed in the search for tools suitable for the implementation of the intended plan, so that an abstract idea can take shape into something concrete. A realist helps a person move from the thought process to action. The critic, in turn, is needed in order to evaluate the idea that has appeared or the planned plan to achieve the goal from the critical side. A critic is meant to help a person find weak points in his plan, to try to identify potential problems or points that could be missed. The critic also draws a person's attention to such things as the environmental friendliness of the plan, its realism, secondary benefits, etc.

Approaching any business using the strategy of Walt Disney's creativity greatly increases the effectiveness and personal productivity of a person. And you can get acquainted with this strategy in more detail.

Working with logic levels

According to the results of research by one of the first developers of NLP, Robert Dilts, there are several levels of a person's perception of reality and how he lives it. All of them are parallel to each other and are closely interconnected. It is very useful for a person to realize what is happening at all these levels, because. it affects every aspect of life: decision-making, relationship formation, feelings and well-being, and even events that occur. It is also important to know that logical levels are subject to a certain structure. Firstly, the Higher levels cannot exist without the Lower ones, because is realized through them, and secondly, the Lower levels depend on the Higher ones and obey them.

Usually a person forms his goals and is aware of the problems on lower levels and therefore it is possible to work with them and begin at these levels. But, taking into account the aforementioned regularities, it is necessary to work out the goals and problems at the Highest levels, because The best way find a solution to any problem - find its origins and work with them directly.

Working with logical levels is an extremely effective technique for interacting with your goals and inducing life changes. Absolutely everything that a person desires must be in harmony with his Higher levels, i.e. consistent with beliefs, values ​​and worldview. The study of problems at the Highest levels helps to identify the necessary resources and increase their energy potential.

You can find out more information about working with logical levels at this link, as well.

"Swipe"

The presented technique serves to change the destructive type of human response to something in a short time and replace it with a more constructive one. But the result of this technique is not only a change in the type of reaction, but also the establishment of a positive and productive self-image in a person. "Sweep" can be applied in many areas of life, ranging from eliminating bad habits and ending with the correction of problem behavior.

The structure of the Sweep technique is as follows: first, the context is determined, i.e. a situation to which you would like to change your response. Then you need to identify trigger factors, i.e. those factors that cause the desire to respond in the usual way. This moment is the most important, because. often may not even be realized by a person. The definition of trigger factors also occurs according to a certain methodology. After that, you need to create an image of the state that you want to achieve. Most often this is done using the third. The next stage is the “swipe” that needs to be done. It means a very fast replacement of one picture with another (an unwanted image with a desirable one). After the "swing" is completed, you need to check the new state and adjust to the future.

The Sweep technique requires more study (this can be done) and training.

New Behavior Generator

This technique, similar to the previous one, is designed to help a person change automatic reactions to manifestations of external reality, thereby relieving him of many unnecessary problems. Thanks to it, a person’s self-confidence increases, reactions change and positive changes occur in life.

The successful application of this technique involves the passage of several stages. First you need to determine the situation that you want to work out, and live it, presenting it in your mind in great detail. Next, you need to imagine the same situation in the form of a film made about you, and feel the emotions that it evokes. After that, you need to imagine yourself as a cinema operator who puts a film with a film about you into the projector for himself, sitting in the hall. Then you need to imagine yourself as a director and realize the possibility of changing the script; come up with several new options and choose the most suitable one.

The new stage implies that you are again a cinematographer, putting on a new film for yourself, sitting in the cinema hall. Then you imagine yourself sitting in the hall and watching a new movie with your participation. As a result, you must imagine yourself as the hero of a new film and live a new situation, presenting it in all its details in your imagination and realizing your emotions. It is important that the new result suits you. If it does not satisfy you, then you should return to the previous points and work them out again.

The result should be the emergence of a new response template, but already one that will be beneficial. It is necessary to consolidate it by losing the situation several times, using new reactions. You can learn more about how to do all this on this page.

Six Step Reframing

Many of us are familiar with the situation when certain problems are not solved for a very, very long time, and we cannot understand the reason for this. The fact is that this is hindered by our own subconscious, which for some reason thinks that the way it is now is best. The six-step reframing technique is very good for changing the mood of your subconscious mind. It takes as a basis a special meditative state, when it is in which the subconscious mind is most receptive to incoming information, while in the normal state its access is blocked by various subpersonalities ().

The scheme of six-step reframing is quite simple.

First step. You need to lie on the floor and relax, alternately tensing and relaxing all the muscles of the body, after which you just lie down for about five minutes, focusing on breathing.

Second step. Visualization of a large white screen.

Third step. Once the screen is presented, you need to ask your subconscious mind if it is ready to cooperate. The answer should appear on the screen.

Fourth step. If the answer is yes, then you can ask the subconscious mind any questions, the form of which should imply simple answers (yes / no).

Fifth step. In the process of interacting with the subconscious, you need to find out from him what benefits it derives from the current problem situation, and turn to the creative component of your personality with a request to find a more suitable way to satisfy this need.

Sixth step. You should relax, allowing the subconscious mind to process the information, slowly count from one to ten and stand up. Reframing is over.

Changing personal history

The technique of changing personal history is usually used when the behavior to be changed is related to some events that took place in the past, and is based on existing links between the present and the past. Its use allows you to get rid of unnecessary and limiting beliefs, stereotypes, habits, attitudes, response methods, etc.

The essence of the method is as follows. It is necessary to identify a problematic situation or an undesirable state and set an anchor on it. The established anchor must be used in order to guide a person (or yourself) until the very moment when problem situation or the experience appeared for the first time, and in any case of their discovery, one must take into account the context of what was happening. After several (4-5) similar situations or experiences are found, you need to drop the anchor and return to the very first situation, determine the resources that were required to overcome it, and find trigger factors. Next, you need to find access to the found resource and anchor it, return to the early situation and change its perception, using the existing resource (great for .

After all that has been done, it is necessary from new experiences and evaluate the result. If it does not meet the requirements, then you should return to the previous stage of identifying resources and work it out again. Then you need to consolidate the result and make an environmental check and synchronization with the future.

You can learn more about how all this is done here.

Fast treatment for phobias

The technique of quick phobia treatment is used in NLP in order to neutralize the anchors to any strong feelings, i.e. rid a person of phobias: xenophobia, agoraphobia, nyctophobia, photophobia, claustrophobia and many others. The result of the successful application of this technique is the liberation of a person from fears, the release of energy and the emergence of many new opportunities.

The process of implementing the technique of rapid treatment of phobias consists of several steps:

  • You need to access the positive state and anchor it by creating a powerful resource anchor. Moreover, it is best if the anchor is kinesthetic.
  • It is necessary to conduct a dissociative analysis of experiences, imagining yourself even before being in a negative state (black and white picture) and after being in it (color picture).
  • You need to look at yourself from the outside, as if sitting behind yourself in a movie theater.
  • You need to quickly view a black-and-white film, consisting of the first picture, the event itself, and ending with a color picture.
  • Then you need to watch the entire black-and-white film, but starting from the second color picture and ending with the first, and during the transition to the first picture, you need to go to the second degree of dissociation (look at yourself watching the movie). After the transition to the first picture, the film should immediately end.
  • You need to think about what was the source of the phobia and note the changes in the physical condition.
  • It is necessary to project the negative situation into the future by imagining the interaction with the source of the phobia and considering new options for responding. It is important to clearly define indicators of a sense of security or pointers to cautious behavior.

You can get acquainted with the technique of quick treatment of phobias in more detail on this page.

Reimprinting

The name of this technique comes from the word “imprint”, meaning “imprinting”, i.e. any experience or set of experiences as a result of which a person has certain beliefs. Often imprint situations are dead ends and cause a person to feel senseless, hopeless, hopeless, etc. The meaning of imprinting is to find the resources needed to change ingrained beliefs and update established behavioral patterns.

The application of the reimprinting technique is based, first of all, on the definition of the symptoms of an imprint, which implies focusing on the very first appearance of any experiences associated with it and the beliefs that have arisen. After that, you need to mentally transport yourself to the moment that preceded the appearance of the imprint, return to the present state and look at the imprint from the position that preceded it. The next step is to look for the positive intention or secondary benefits that are hidden behind the established reactions and symptoms of the imprint and some other equally important components that require more detailed and scrupulous study.

Features of reimprinting and the procedure for its implementation can be found here.

Reassessment of the past

The technique of reassessing the past helps to change the assessment of an event that took place in a person's past. It is very effective because with it, you can influence the assessment of the troubles that have occurred and the beliefs associated with them, change relationships with specific people, and even transform aspects of the perception of childhood. A brief algorithm of necessary actions includes the following:

  • It is necessary to determine the period of time that requires change and elaboration. It can be associated with a person, place, time, and so on. conditions.
  • We need to create a powerful resource anchor. It is best if it is kinesthetic.
  • It is necessary to present the considered time period in the form of a straight line located on the floor, determine the most significant moments of this period, name them and mark them on the line, observing the real sequence.
  • It is necessary to divide all the marked situations into positive and negative. Then, passing along the line, one should relive the positive situations anew, and present the negative ones in a dissociated way, i.e. watching from the sidelines.
  • In the dissociated consideration of negative situations, you can use the resource anchor created at the beginning. Sometimes this allows you to look even at negative events from a different angle and see the positives in them.
  • It is necessary to conduct an ecological check of the new perception of past events and, if the result does not satisfy all the requirements, go back and work through the previous points again.
  • It is necessary to synchronize with the future, projecting the achieved result on situations that may occur.

The technique of reassessing the past is considered in more detail.

Choice on the timeline

The presented technique has proven itself to be a reliable tool for resolving those situations where there is a choice of something, but a person does not know how to do it best. In addition, the timeline selection technique can be used to predict the long-term consequences of each of the possible options.

The first thing you need to do to successfully apply this technique is the very realization that you have a choice: you need to clearly determine for yourself what options exist. Next, you need to speculate on the topic of how long the choice can affect in general, and mentally draw a line on the floor that displays this period. After that, you need to determine for yourself the deadline by which you need to make a choice; between this period and the present day, it is necessary to determine the most optimal time for selection. Then you should mentally move into the future and try to note those events that your choice may cause; give these events an assessment by looking at them from the outside. You can also resort to integration - to go through the planned route, as if watching from the sidelines on people who have already passed it. At the end of all this, you need to return to the starting point and think about whether it is possible to somehow improve the route or create a new, more efficient one. Assess the choices you have: what did you take away from your journey through the timeline? The number of positive points and point you to the right choice.

In detail and detail, the selection technique on the timeline is considered.

self-hypnosis technique

The technique of self-hypnosis is very effective in view of the fact that it allows a person to work through any of his problems at the deepest levels, because. there is an interaction with the subconscious in the most suitable state for this. Using this technique, a person can change the qualities of his personality that do not suit him, influence the way of his thinking or behavior, get rid of bad habits, instill new and effective attitudes, change the assessment of any events, etc.

Before using self-hypnosis, first of all, you should take a comfortable position that promotes relaxation and in which you can stay for a long time. Then you need to say to yourself the exact time for which you want to put yourself into a hypnotic state. You also need to clearly and specifically set the goal of your dive. It should be formulated in a positive way and spoken aloud in the form that is familiar to you. The next step is to determine the state in which you want to be after waking up, and also say it out loud. All this is done to tune the subconscious to productive work.

The very process of entering a trance must correspond to your representational system, i.e. must be designed for visual, auditory or kinesthetic perception. To enter a hypnotic state, you need to close your eyes and for some time focus on sounds, presented objects, or sensations.

It is absolutely easy to see that any NLP technique is a unique tool for a person to work, both with himself and some of his own characteristics, and with other people and what concerns them personally. What can be influenced with the help of NLP techniques, we have already seen more than once.

Naturally, we have considered far from all existing techniques and not in all details. If you wish, you can find other techniques and study each of them in detail for more than one day. But the main thing is not this. The main thing is that now you are armed with knowledge about what NLP techniques are in general, how to apply them and why it can and should be done.

Learn, practice and hone new skills, and in time you will be amazed by your ability to truly magically influence yourself and others!

(in search of a resource state)

In our materials on NLP, we have already said more than once that a person can cope with his problems on his own - that very, only, correct one would be found - a resource state.

Let me remind you that NLP represents the entire array of information available to us as a library of reference experiences located on the time axis.

The library has old receipts - referential experiences of the past. Some of them belong to us, and some to other people - living or fictional. The first we call valid , and the second - constructed references.

In this great library information is also current receipts (our present), just open your eyes and look, absorb.

In this library there are even referential experiences of the future, something like futurologists' forecasts or science fiction novels, or dream entries in a personal diary...

Some of the books in this library are tear-stained, chocolate-fingered, these books have color illustrations inside. These are the referential experiences that we call (following) personal , they are very emotional and therefore affect our personality.

Other books in this library are typed in small black type, contain only diagrams and tables - these are informational referential experiences. They contain only information about how to do this and that, but do not contain emotions ...

And we need all this “library” for this: to find the right RESOURCE STATUS to emerge victorious in the next round of the game called "My Life Quest"...

Designed references...

NLP practitioners have long understood that the richest, juiciest and most useful resource states are on the shelf of the library where constructed references lie.

That is, not our personal experience (it is often, alas, poor), but the experience of other people, but it is even better if it is an experience - generally fictional characters - heroes of legends and myths, both ancient (fairy tales) and modern ( cinema).

In general, NLP has once again proved the usefulness of two things that are already difficult to overestimate:

These two sources (the stories of other people and the stories of fictional characters) are the very constructed references or resource states that help us survive, win, become stronger at the decisive moment and after that.

NLP Magic Phrase

Well, now we have almost come close to the most important thing - to that magic phrase, to that magic word that is hidden in the egg, the hare and the drake.

When a person cannot find a resource state from his personal experience, then in NLP he is offered to fantasize (turn to constructed references).

The influence of one interlocutor on another is an integral part of our daily life. Conducting a conversation using Neuro Linguistic Programming or NLP can help you a lot in your daily life.

A conversation with NLP phrases can be defined as an exchange of opinions with the aim of reaching a mutually acceptable agreement in your favor. To such a programmed oral speech should include not only coordinated and organized contacts of interested parties in a certain way, but a meeting, a conversation, a telephone conversation (telephone conversations).

NLP phrases are used when there is a desire to find a profitable solution to a problem, to maintain business contacts, friendships, when there is no clear and precise regulation for solving problems that have arisen, when you realize that any one-sided actions become unacceptable. A conversation with built-in phrases according to the NLP methodology consists of speeches and response speeches, questions and answers, objections and evidence.

In such a dialogue, the parties have directly opposite goals, in this case the task of each of the interlocutors is to end the conversation with an agreement that serves his interests. To be firm in the main, being flexible, discussing secondary issues - this is the main task facing you. Giving in on the little and insisting on the main, compromising on one issue in exchange for concession on another - correctly inserted NLP phrases will help us with this.


Keep in mind that you will have to influence people who have different experience in conducting such conversations, temperament, status, education. In accordance with this, the very course of constructing a conversation is also very diverse. Conversations can be easy or tense, the interlocutors can agree among themselves without difficulty or with great difficulty, or not come to any agreement at all.

The art of introducing the necessary NLP phrase is to show your partner the way to solve their problem by taking actions that are beneficial to you. This requires deep knowledge in the field of communication, competence in the application of NLP communication techniques, and the ability to manage one's emotional state.

Always remember that any NLP technology is a process of effective interpersonal communications, it is the use of the acquired skills of communicative rhetoric, taking into account the nature of the partner's personality. The most important part of the construction of the NLP phrase is the communication of the parties, their effective interpersonal communication. And here, it is mandatory to comply with speech etiquette - the norms of linguistic behavior developed by society, typical ready-made "formulas" that allow you to organize etiquette situations of greetings, requests, thanks, persuasion, and so on (for example, "Good afternoon", "Nice to meet you", " I ask you”, “Thank you for a fruitful meeting”, “Imagine that…”).

These sustainable structures are selected taking into account social, age, psychological characteristics interlocutors. The success of imperceptible influence depends on how well the participants in the conversation have developed communication skills (the ability to easily and quickly establish contacts with the interlocutor, to carry on a conversation). The communicative aspect of an NLP phrase or word is also decisive because the conversational process is considered as an integral part of speech communication (primarily dialogue and argumentation), as the ability to effectively use speech influence to achieve goals.

The communicative competence of the participants in the dialogue, therefore, is considered as the ability to maintain verbal stability (correct and psychologically correct verbal communication) and confidence in any situation, possession of the technique of interpersonal communication, which is based on the theory and practice of NLP dialogue, the art of conversation, possession of argumentation.

Successful communication in the process of conversation with NLP phrases is largely facilitated by the possession of effective verbal communication skills. What phrases you use during the conversation depends on: the initial attitude towards the interlocutor, the acceptance of information by the interlocutors, the persuasiveness of the argument. It turns out that without knowledge of the generally accepted norms of speech communication, even the most skilled NLP specialist will not be able to succeed in ordinary negotiations.

At all stages of conversation with NLP phrases, it is important to follow the generally accepted norms of speech communication, and not invent something incredible. At the beginning of the conversation, you should avoid phrases expressing:

1. uncertainty, an abundance of apologies - “Sorry if I bothered you”, “If you have time to listen to me ...”

2. disrespect, disregard for the interlocutor - "Let's take a quick look at you", "I passed by chance and dropped by to you"

3. phrases "attacks" - "What kind of disgrace is going on?"

Favorable start of the conversation contribute to:

1. a few pleasant phrases of a personal nature, a light joke - “Ivan Ivanovich, I am very glad to see you / glad to meet you”;

2. an unusual question, an anecdotal incident, comparisons, personal impressions;

3. questions aimed at generating interest in the upcoming topic of discussion.

After exchanging greetings and a few correct phrases, the interlocutors proceed to the main stage of the conversation. This stage consists of arguing your position. However, in any conversations, the possibility of deception is not ruled out and it may turn out that your interlocutor is also a skilled manipulator, that is, a person who uses your “weaknesses” to achieve his goals. To do this, he uses the following common methods:

1. Deliberate deception. If you feel like your partner is giving false facts:

You can’t use phrases that can offend him “Your facts are unreliable!”, “You are trying to mislead me”

Explain to the interlocutor that you are carrying on a further conversation, whether you trust him or not, but you are going to check all his factual statements. Such statements must be made in a very correct form with an apology appropriate in this case.


2. unclear powers

Before starting a dialogue, ask your partner:

“What kind of information do you have in this case?”

Having received an evasive answer, warn your partner:

“In such a case, we reserve the right to review your status” or

“Under the circumstances, we cannot talk about specific things. I ask you to arrange a meeting with a person who has real information”;

If you notice that your interlocutor uses a manipulative conversational tactic, you need to openly tell him about it and question the legality and desirability of such tactics when conducting a constructive dialogue. In a situation where your partner strives to do only what will provide him maximum benefit- you should start the conversation by considering those points that you and your interlocutor do not raise objections.

During discussions and argumentation of one's position, one should not try to convince the interlocutor of the fallacy of his point of view or try to confuse him. Such behavior can only irritate him.Try not to use unreasonably in speech:

- special and foreign words; they are possible only when you pronounce them correctly, know their meaning exactly and are sure that your interlocutor knows them too;

- slang words;

- template expressions: “Honestly!”, “Such is life”, others;

- vernacular and dialectisms;

- diminutive suffixes - it is forbidden to use in NLP technologies!

- cynical expressions, vulgar jokes;

- common quotes: "To be or not to be, that is the question."

It is necessary to adapt the argument to the personality of your interlocutor, use terminology that is understandable to him, and avoid a simple enumeration of facts. Use more correct and psychologically acceptable phrases. Correct NLP phrases are “You don’t find that…”, “Now you can make sure that”, “You certainly know that…”, “Do you agree that…”, “You can achieve…” "Don't you think that...". After that, NLP setup phrases are put at the end of the sentence - “I believe ...”, “You, of course, do not know about this yet”, “You will understand later that ...”, “We will help you ...”, “Still, you must admit , What…"

In the process of such dialogue and argumentation, criticism should be encouraged rather than repelled; use NLP questions in a dialogue with your interlocutor - “What circumstances prevent you from taking into account my proposal?”, “What prevents you from agreeing to this proposal?” not statements - “This fact is beyond doubt!”, “My position is correct because ...” Remember, statements cause resistance, and the conversation can turn into an argument; questions elicit answers.
In no case do not give in to the mood, do not get annoyed if your partner objects. Do not interrupt him with the words: "Listen" or "Do you know" - these are phrases that destroy NLP. If your interlocutor considers his opinion to be true and does not want to change it, no matter how convincing arguments he has to hear, the discussion process develops into an NLP argument. The goals of the NLP dispute: discussing all possible options for solving the problem, exposing false rumors, the desire to split the participants in the dispute into two irreconcilable groups, lead the solution to a dead end, others.

When arguing with NLP phrases, it is important: to clearly define the subject and purpose of the dispute, operate with the same concepts, consistently and clearly express your opinion, if a real disagreement arises, listen to the interlocutor to the end to understand what exactly you disagree with. Even if you are aware that you are right, be restrained in words and expressions, speak briefly, carefully, calmly - this is the only way to convince the interlocutor.

Object, but don't blame. When objecting, use the correct NLP phrases - "I think ...", "I may be wrong ...", "I'm not quite sure ...", "It seems to me ...". This is followed by prohibition phrases - “And there can be no question!”, “You are mistaken!”, “You are wrong!”, “This is irrelevant!”.There are three options for ending an NLP dispute:

1. you lost the argument - admit it, do not show your dissatisfaction with the result of the discussion, this can lead to a break in further relations and alienation from the interlocutor. “I admit I was wrong”, “My point of view was wrong”


2. you won the argument - be modest and calm. Put the correct phrases - "Thank you for listening to me" "Thank you for accepting my offer."

3. there is no progress in the dispute - try to stop the discussion on this issue and give the conversation a different direction. After reaching agreement on all significant issues that arose during the conversation, and also when you see that your interlocutor is completely satisfied with the arguments given, you should move the conversation to the stage of making a final decision.

Consider two ways to accelerate the manipulation of the interlocutor.

When your interlocutor says: “I need to think it over again thoroughly,” you apply:

1. Reception of "direct acceleration" - "Have we already come to an agreement?" "Do you agree?" However, this technique is not very effective, since the probability of answering "yes" and "no" is - 50%.

2. "indirect persuasion" technique using NLP phrases - "Imagine that ...", "In case ...", "Suppose that ...", "And what would you prefer ...", "What conclusion would you come to you in this case?" In this case, NLP questions are perceived softer, do not carry an element of coercion. The interlocutor answers the question, and his thoughts switch from the decision to be made, that is, he is temporarily freed from the psychological pressure of responsibility. Concluding the conversation, it is necessary: ​​to sum up the results, to determine the time frame in which you must fulfill what you agreed on. Here, as well as at the beginning of the conversation and at all stages, the atmosphere in which you part is important. Therefore, don't forget:
1) thank the interlocutor - “Thank you for the conversation / time spent”;

2) make a sincere compliment to your interlocutor - "It was a pleasure to talk with you."

After that, farewell phrases follow: “Success”, “See you”, “Good luck”.

Although now there is a lot of literature on NLP, educational trainings and courses that explain how to properly influence the interlocutor, what you should pay attention to during the conversation, what phrases will help you successfully manipulate him. However, we advise you to deepen your knowledge in such disciplines as Rhetoric, Psychology, Linguistics, Regional Studies, Ethics and other related sciences. But, it is not enough to have only theoretical knowledge to conduct a conversation with NLP elements, one must not be afraid to apply this knowledge in practice and accumulate practical experience. Indeed, there are no single templates for conducting an NLP conversation, since the behavior of the participants in the dialogue depends on many components: their temperament, status, psychology, cultural level, experience, and also on the national mentality.



General, during the conduct of all NLP dialogues, there are recommendations:

Show respect for the opinion of your interlocutor,

Never tell a man that he's wrong

If you're wrong, admit it quickly and decisively

Sincerely try to look at things from the point of view of your interlocutor,

Praise people for their smallest success, and celebrate each of their successes.

In conclusion, I would like to say that the correct construction of NLP phrases, the culture of speech and the effectiveness of communication during a conversation are often directly related. Everything related to the norms and recommendations for increasing the effectiveness of NLP can be defined by the well-known maxim: "Speak not so that you can be understood, but speak so that you cannot be misunderstood." In the end, we give specific examples from practice:
Method 1.
Banal phrase - "Friend, arrange a break for yourself and make me coffee." No matter how annoying your interlocutors are from such impudence, he will still go to the kitchen and make coffee, just as the phrase you said consists of two theses, namely "... arrange a break for yourself" and "... make me coffee." You first said what he needed, and then what you needed. The brain of your interlocutor perceives the phrase you constructed as follows: "If I want to relax, I need to make coffee."
Therefore, in order to achieve your goal in a conversation with an interlocutor, when building a phrase at the beginning of a sentence, give what the interlocutor needs, for example: "Vladimir, I want to offer you to earn some money by changing the pipes in my apartment." Thus, you offer the interlocutor to earn money and at the same time let him know that this needs to be done very cheaply. You can use this technique of constructing phrases in advertisements.

Method 2.
You need to get the phone number of the girl you like. How to do this so that there is no "misfire"? The option is this: You can approach her and say the following phrase: "Girl, can I ask my friend to come to you tomorrow in the middle of the day to ask for your phone number so that I can call you" Frightened by such a difficult scenario for tomorrow You, in most cases, will immediately receive a phone number.

In this situation, the following principle applies: the young man deliberately created a very complicated scenario for the girl, for tomorrow, to get a number. The girl, after what she heard, immediately imagined how some young man would come to her work tomorrow, and even at lunchtime, to ask for a phone number. ... "how difficult it is" - she will present and in most cases she will give the phone right away to avoid all the complexity.

Method 3.
There are words such as: always, again, constantly, every time, etc.
Hearing these and similar words in relation to himself, a person, in most cases, tries to quickly do as he is told.
For example, a dialogue between a husband and wife - "Dear, your dirty socks are again in the hall, and not in dirty laundry, you always leave them here, you always try to piss me off, do you constantly forget about it?" With this technique, the girl tries to "heat-complicate" the situation in order to quickly get the desired result. After listening to a large number of such words, the young man will try to solve the problem as quickly as possible.Using such words in conversation, in most cases, will help you quickly resolve the issues you need in the way you need. Method 4:
The next example to achieve the desired result in a conversation with an interlocutor is a partial repetition of the end of his phrase, that is, to achieve the result you need, try repeating the end of his phrase with the addition of your own. The interlocutor will perceive your phrase as his own, since part of the sentence he said was used in it.

Method 5:
All sentences and phrases starting with the words: Please, be kind, dear, etc. will certainly help to achieve the desired result in the dialogue.

Method 6:
Another example that can be used in communication is the voice stress on the word you need. For example: "How many animals of each pair did Moses take with him to the ark?" the answerer will give the correct answer, but Moses was never in the ark, Noah took the animals into the ark and it is called Noah's Ark. Most people who are asked this question know that Noah's ark, but they were deliberately knocked off the target by emphasizing another phrase..

NLP practitioners have long understood that the richest, juiciest and most useful resource states are on the shelf of the library where constructed references lie.

That is, not our personal experience (it is often, alas, poor), but the experience of other people, but it is even better if it is an experience - generally fictional characters - heroes of legends and myths, both ancient (fairy tales) and modern ( cinema).

These two sources (stories of other people and stories of fictional characters) are the very constructed references or resource states that help us survive, win, become stronger at a decisive moment and after that.
NLP Magic Phrase

Well, now we have almost come close to the most important thing - to that magic phrase, to that magic word that is hidden in an egg, a hare and a drake.

When a person cannot find a resource state from his personal experience, then in NLP he is offered to fantasize (turn to constructed references).

The question is usually asked: “Think about what qualities would help you cope with this situation?”

From the school curriculum, I remember that a certain Pierre Bezukhov immediately found something to answer this unspoken question:

"If I were not me, but the most beautiful, smartest and best person in the world, and would be free, I would marry you this minute."

Pierre Bezukhov wanted to marry Natasha Rostova, but so far did not have such an opportunity. However, he managed to formulate (and clearly) the resource state that would help him cope with this situation.

Once the resource state is formulated, it soon comes true, and this is proved, in particular, by War and Peace.

A person receives for himself what he has formulated as a condition for happiness. Something gives him fate (unties the bonds of a bad marriage), in some ways he changes himself (finally, he realizes that he is not so stupid, ugly and bad).

But many clients of NLP trainers answer the question: “Think about what qualities would help you cope with this situation?” answer that "they do not know what qualities would help."

And this is where one magic phrase comes into play, or you can say a magic NLP spell. Attention!

This magical phrase is like a Zen koan! Just like the Zen koan, it explodes the brain and the usual logic, because in its formulation it is unreasonable, illogical and linguistically incorrect. And so it is necessary - for success in tearing a person from his usual loops, from his usual bad trajectory ...

The question-spell should sound something like this: “And if you knew what resource would help you, then what would it be?”

This magic phrase only destroys the BARRIER OF MAN'S DISCOUNT TO HIMSELF AND HIS EXPERIENCE

It's like practicing Zen. While the incredulous consciousness deals with the nonsense of this paradoxical problem, the person manages to get a clear and practical answer from his unconscious.

This answer may look different:
as a visual image
like a vague tactile sensation,
like a phrase that came from nowhere
like a strange dream that occurred after this conversation.

It remains only to turn on the patience and wait. Sometimes the answer comes right away, sometimes it's delayed.

Exactly the same technique of NLP is used by experienced teachers who, while teaching their subject, encounter blocks and complexes of students who believe that they are “incapable”.

For example, a shy and shy child is asked: “how much will eight be added to two?”

Anyone who has worked with children knows that a child can be silent for a long time, completely closed in on himself, afraid of making a mistake and “receiving” for his mistake.

At this moment, the educational psychologist in no way puts pressure on the child, but asks: “And if you knew what the correct answer was, how much would it be?”

Practice shows: the child immediately enters into communication with the teacher and names his answer, and this answer is almost always the correct one!

***

So, you don't know what would help you deal with your situation?

Well, if you knew what resource would help you, what would it be?

To facilitate the imagination, ask the person to imagine himself as an omniscient wizard or some kind of bore-excellent student (for example, Hermione Granger) and already from the role of a wizard (or Hermione) - give smart advice to himself.

Practice using this Zen question. He, like a pickaxe, knocks out from the stone of our consciousness the source of precious wisdom that keeps the unconscious.

A person can cope with his problems on his own - the very, only, correct one would be found - a resource state. And if it does not exist, it should be invented!